Mr. Schuyler's fiancées ...

Front matter

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Chap. Copyright No.....

V^'\JVV^ ipyiip

Act I

The Scene is laid in the studio of Mr. Richard Sherwood and Mr. John Schuyler in New York city. The room is full of pictures, hangings, easy chairs, curios; table in the centre, side-table on which stands a decanter and glasses; an easel on either side, upon one of which is an unfinished canvas. There is a door at the back, another at the left, at the right is a door-way in which a heav3' curtain is hung. When the curtain goes up Mr. Richard Sherwood is discovered, standing in front of the unfinished picture with his hands in his pockets. Lott^' comes in with her hat on, parasol in her hand, and drawing on a pair of gloves.

Lotty. Well, we've had a very jolly afternoon, and I suppose I must be going; when do you expect Ja— , Mr. Schuyler?

Dick. Very soon, in fact I should not be at all surprised if he turned up to-night.

Lotty. Yes, he's due to-night, for I'm to sit for him to-morrow as

Dick. Yes, as what, an angel?

Lotty. No, a saint; this way, (she crosses her hands and throws her eyes up) seraphic expression about the mouth, so ! Eves full of

Dick. Of the devil, I suppose.

Lotty. (Smiling) No, of tears ; unshed tears, you know; mouth

Dick. Full of beer?

Lotty. (Laughing and going toward door.) Oh, you are a nice one, you are, beer for a saint! Well, I'm off; when shall I see you again?

Dick. (Walking about.) Can't say, I'm sure, I'm thinking of going away myself, when Jack gets back.

Lotty. (Near the door back.) Very well, good by, I'll drop in later to see if Mr. Schuyler wants me to-morrow. (She is at the door.)

Dick. (Sits down and lights his pipe.) Good bye.

Lotty. Ta-ta! (Exit Lotty.)

Dick. If anybody had told me I would be as bored having a good time as I was to-day, I wouldn't have believed it, (noise is heard) there's some one, I hope that young woman hasn't forgotten something and is returning; (door at back opens and Jack comes in; deposits his, hat, umbrella and bag upon the table.)

Dick. (Rising.) Halloa!

Jack. How are you ?

Dick. I'm downright glad to see 3^ou back, old man.

Jack. What's been on here? I saw Miss Lotty Lamb disappearing round the corner.

Dick. Oh, I had a little tea, — for Bohemia 3'ou know.

Jack. Same crowd, I suppose?

Dick. Yes, the ver^^ same. Well are \^ou glad to get back?

Jack. No, not in the least.

Dick. (Smiling.) Oh, don't mind me, say anything you please. What's the matter, what do you mean?

Jack. (Drawing off his gloves.) I mean that I'm through with that Lotty and Dotty crowd, that's what I mean.

Dick. Oh ho, through with me too, I suppose that means

Jack. I beg your pardon, old man, I don't mean that I'm through with you at all; but if you were in the hole, the fix that I'm in, you'd feel as I do. Well I'll tell you all about it.

Dick. That's right, that's right; I knew there was something up the minute I laid my eyes on you ; father been cutting up rough ?

Jack. No, no, that is not yet, but he will of course. Oh, I'm in the devil of a hole, I am ! (He walks to the side table, and pours a drink ; Dick does the same; both standing with glass in hand.) You know when I left here, I onh^ expected to see the family, my aunt and sister, — Polly you know, — up at Newburgh, but when I got there, I found Polly had a house-party, friends from Boston; well, Dick, one of those girls, oh well, what's the use of talking about it? (Puts down glass and walks up and down.)

Dick. My dear fellow, you needn't sa^^ another word, I see it all, pretty girl, moon, spoon, and —

Jack. (Angril}'.) Shut up, you ass, and let me tell you ; I've got to tell somebody or burst.

Dick. Well, don't burst here; just go on, and out with it. (He puts .his glass down. )

Jack. (Stopping in front of him.) Well, you ought to see that girl; what a fool I am; I'm in love with her, that's the long and short of it, and how in — blazes I'm going to get her beats me. (He walks across the room, and throws hise3^es up in rapture.) Constance! Constance, that's her name, pretty, isn't it?

Dick. Yes, quite so, but I wish you'd get on with 5^our story and leave out the hysterics till afterwards.

Jack. All right, old man, all right, but you see

Dick. How in the devil can I see, till you tell me ? Go on. What's the hitch, doesn't she smile ?

Jack. (Goes to table in center, takes a pipe and lights it.) I haven't asked her yet ; I stayed there until she left for Boston, then I came here to tell you that I'm going to drop that crowd, that we've, well — that we've been entertaining lately, and I'm going to settle down.

Dick. (Also taking pipe and lighting it.) Going to settle up, too ?

Jack. Yes sir, I'm going to do that too; I have a picture in my mind that I'm going to begin translerring to canvas to-morrow; but if you want that Lotty and Dott}^ crowd here; I'll have to move out. (He sits.)

Dick. My dear boy, I don't want them ; they bored me to death to-day ; the truth is its hard to shake off people of that kind.

Jack. Yes, that's it; there's nothing wrong about them, but ye gods! after the company I've been in ! Constance !

Dick. Now, I say, won't you quit that; you really make me nervous, I'll get out if

Jack. ^^Smiling.) I won't do it any more, I swear I won't, but you see, Dick, a man in my state is hardly responsible.

Dick. (Sitting down.) My dear fellow, I haven't the slightest sentiment about lunatics; if you're off your head, I'll clap a straight-jacket on you and be done with it. • Now see if you can tell me what you've started to.

Jack. I will, old man, I will. I'm invited to her aunt's country place in August

Dick, Well, then, what in the devil are you making such a mouth about? I don't see that you're in any fix but a pleasant one.

Jack. (Sighing.) That's because you don't know anything about it; my father said he would never give me a cent to marry on, and you know how much I've painted and how much I've saved the last year or two.

Dick. Fathers' always talk like that; I should think yours would put up a good sum to see you well married.

Jack. Well, that's not the worst of it by half; she's got money and how can a poor painter ask a rich girl to marry him, (rising) but by Jove she'll marry me or

Dick. Now there you go again, and you said 3^ou wouldn't. I think you're a ver\^ lucky dog, myself.

Jack. (Laughs bitterly.) Do you? Well, I think I'm the biggest fool unhung; you see, old chap, there's another obstacle.

Dick. Is there? Well, out with it, only try and stick to your story.

Jack. I will, I'll tell 3^ou all about it, and 3^ou say just what you think. (He sits down again; Dick rises and refills his pipe.)

Dick. Fire away, I'm listening.

Jack. Well, sir, when I was twent\^-one (and by the way, a iellow at that age ought to have a nurse ) I went up to Lake George for a couple of months in the summer; I was just graduated, and thought I knew it all. Well, there was a gay crowd there, and among them a widow, a Mrs. Leslie

Dick. Good-bye to little Jacky !

Jack. Well, sir, I tell you she was a regular stunner, about thirty-five, looked twentv-five, fascinating and very good fun. I verily believe that woman would have made eyes at a wooden man ! Well, you see I thought I was regularly done for! I vowed eternal constancy and she smiled ; the upshot of it was that I told her I'd jump in the lake if she wouldn't have me, so to save my life, she said she'd consent to an engagement.

Dick. (Smiling.) Very kind of her !

Jack. Yes, damned kind ; but one night I found her with another fellow holding her hand, and I cut up rough ; she said she must be allowed to go her own way, that she liked me best, etc., you can imagine the rest.

Dick. I think I can ; you grovelled and she continued to flirt.

Jack. Just so ; then one day I happened to mention that I had a letter from my father, and she remarked it was about time I wrote him and told him of my engagement; somehow it grated, and that night I got to thinking what an almighty fool I was, and I hate a scene so, that I just got up early the next morning and vanished !

Dick. (Goes into fits of laughter.) Well,— of all — the — asses — I ever —

Jack. (Never smiles.) I fail to see anything funny about it. Yes, sir, I bolted. She was from Boston.

Dick. (Still laughing. ) The devil she was I But you were such a young chap then.

Jack. (Rising.) I was a young tool then. (Excitedly.) I tell you, Sherwood, if I ever saw that old woman again, I'd cut and run for it, 1 believe I would.

Dick. I advise you to ; but what has that to do with the present affair?

Jack. Well, you see, since I've met — Miss Langdon — I've realized what a shabby thing I did, and for all I know that confounded woman ma\^ consider herself still engaged to me, although I've never even heard of her since. But don't 3^ou see what a er — blamed fix I'm in ?

Dick: Couldn't you hunt her up and state the case?

Jack. (Groaning.) Yes, but don't you see, suppose I could, and suppose I found she, — w^ell, wanted to go on with the affair; my last state would be worse than m^^ first.

Dick. Well, upon my word you must consider yourself quite irresistible. She's probably been engaged a dozen times since then. (Sounds are heard.)

Jack. (Rising.) Sh, Sh, that's probably my father.

Dick. (Rising.) Does he know anything about that affair ?

Jack. Not he; and not a word before him, either ; I may be an ass but I'm not a chump.

Dick. Well, you're the best immitation I ever saw. By the way, Lotty will be here presently to know if you want her. (Door at back opens and Mr. Schuyler appears.)

Jack. The devil she will ! How are you father?

Mr. S. So, you've come back; (coming down.) How are you, Sherwood ? I'm going to run up to Newburgh to-night, so I thought I'd stop in and see what you're going to do.

Dick. (Preparing to go.) Well, I'll toddle along, and leave you two to have a talk. ( Takes hat and starts.)

Jack. (Aside to Dick.) Confound you, why don't you stay !

Dick. (Going.) Good night, Mr. Schuyler. (Aside to Jack.) Ta-ta, old chap, look sharp! (Exit Dick.)

Mr. S. Nice chap, that Sherwood, nice chap, ( standing before easel ) I see he's been painting.

Jack. Yes, and now that I've had my little holiday, I'm going to work in earnest.

Mr. S. Glad to hear it, my boy, glad to hear it ; you've spent a good many dollars for nonsense in your time, and it won't hurt you to settle down, (chuckles and pokes him in the side). Who is she?

Jack. (Very serious.) She! How can I think of marriage in my condition?

Mr. S. (Walking up and down.) That's so, how can you, and you'd better not, if you maris ried I'd gain a daughter, instead of losing a son. (He laughs.)

Jack. It will not always be so, sir!

Mr. S I hope not, I hope not; I'd like to see you married to a nice sweet girl, when you can support her, that is ; the first year I w^as married, 3'our mother and I lived on half you've spent in — amusing yourself; its all a mistake, all a mistake; but you ought not to think of marriage for years yet; you're not thinking of it, are you, sir?

Jack. (Sighing.) No, I'm not thinking of it. But won't you sit down ?

Mr. S, (Coming down.) By the way, have a'-ou got that old miniature of your mother ? If ^'^ou have I wish jon'd give it to me, I'm going to have it enlarged for Polly's birthday.

Jack. Yes, sir, its in the bottom of my trunk ; just sit down and I'll get it for you.

Mr. S. (Sits at right of table.) Very well, only be quick; I'm going up on the nine o'clock train.

Jack. (Goes toward door at left, then stops.) Oh, I sa^^ father.

Mr. S. Well.

Jack. You see, sir, before I went away, I engaged a model for to-morrow, a young woman named Lotty.

Mr. S. Yes, yes, well what about her?

Jack. Well, er — I have decided to paint from memory — a face I've seen, so if that young woman should happen to come in while I'm in my room— I wish you'd just say to her that—

Mr. S. (Impatiently) Well, say what to her? I wish you'd—

Jack. Say to her tbat the engagement is off for to-morrow; I don't want to see her, you know and —

Mr. S. So, that's it, is it? Oh, I'll tell her for you, in a way she'll understand, I'll tell her moreover, that's its off for ever; you can paint without models.

lack. (Going. ) Say what you please, only send her off. (Exit Jack.)

Mr. S. This model business is all nonsense, I don't approve of it at all. (Walks up and down. ) Oh yes, I'll fix her, (stops in centre.) But that boy's just like his dad, regular dog, regular dog! He'll settle down as I did when he meets a girl like his mother, bless her heart ! How I do miss her. (Woman's voice is heard outside.)

Mr. S. Who's that? (Listens.)

Mrs. L. (Outside.) Mr. Schuyler? Yes, he's the one I want to see. Announce me? No, I prefer to announce myself. (Enters.) How do you do ? Mr. Schuyler, is he here ?

Mr. S. (Bowing.) At your service, madam.

Mrs. L. (Smiling.) Oh no, I'm sure there is a mistake, the Mr. Schuyler I want to see is, well,

(with a coquettish glance) just a few years younger than you. Know him?

Mr. S. Ah, my son; (aside) Lotty ! The boy's a fool, she's magnificent !

Mrs. L. Is it possible? It is hard for me to believe that you have a son as old as— Jack. (Mr. S. Throws his shoulders back and smiles.)

Mr. S. Yes, I believe I am considered rather young looking. But you spoke of— Jack.

Mrs. L. Yes, I said Jack.

Mr. S. Well he's younger than he looks, than he appears.

Mrs. L. (Smiling.) Impossible!

Mr. S. Eh, what?

Mrs. L. Oh nothing, I thought him quite \^oung enough, but old for a son of 3'ours. (Starts.) By the way, where is he?

Mr. S. Yes, well, he's busy.

Mrs. L. Well, I want to see him. Just say an old — friend — would like to see him.

Mr. S. Oh no, he told me to excuse him.

Mrs. L. (Smiling.) But you see he w^asn't expecting me.

Mr. S. Oh yes, he was. (He smiles.)

Mrs. L. Was he? That's strange.

Mr. S. Not at all, he left a message for j^ou.

Mrs. L. (Dropping into a chair.) What?

Mr. S. He told me, madam, what I can scarcely credit since I've laid my eyes upon j^'ou, that he didn't want to see you. (Standing in front of her.) Could I make myself plainer ?

Mrs. L. (Smiling and running her eye over him.) Not possibly! (He smiles.)

Mr. S. Do you want my opinion of him, madam? (close to her) I think he's a fool, madam, a fool!

Mrs. L. You are quite right; he is; he's not at all like — you !

Mr. S. Ah, I told him he could leave it to me.

Mrs. L. Leave what to you ?

Mr. S. You, madam ! (With a bow.)

Mrs. L. My dear old gentleman, (he frowns) there is certainly a mistake, your son was not expecting me to-day.

Mr. S. Isn't your name Lotty ?

Mrs. L. (Astonished.) Lotty? My name is Charlotte Leslie.

Mr. S. (Smiling.) I thought so ! Well, Jack calls you Lotty for short.

Mrs. L. Oh he does, does he? Strange I shouldn't know it, isn't it?

Mr. S. Extremely strange, my dear madam, extremely strange. (Goes close to her.) Now if I called you — Lotty, you'd know it.

Mrs. L. (Smiling.) Indeed I would know it. But vou see —

Mr. S. Yes, I see, what ?

Mrs. L. You'll never call me — Lotty. (Laughs.) Come now, there's a dear man, go and tell Jack I want to see him ; I have something to tell him that I know he'll be glad to hear.

Mr. S. Oh no, I will give you his message.

Mrs. L. Oh now, I know^ you've made a mistake, he couldn't have left a message for me. .

Mr. S. Do you mean to impugn my veracity, madam ? He said —

Mrs. L. Yes, that's so, what did he say?

Mr. S. He said: ''Father, if Lotty comes—"

Mrs. L. (Interrupting.) Yes, he said : "Father, if Lotty comes — " go on .

Mr. S. I was endeavoring to go on when you interrupted me, he said —

Mrs. L. Well, I won't interrupt you any more, go on.

Mr. S. I trust not, its not pleasant to be —

Mrs. L. (Stamping her foot.) Go on !

Mr. S. I am going on if you will allow me; he said '' tell Lotty that it is—"

Mrs. L. It is! What is?

Mr. S. That is just what I am trying to tell you —

Mrs. L. Well, goon!

Mr. S. "Tell Lotty that the engagement is off for" —

Mrs. L. Oh, he said that, did he? He said that.

Mr. S. Yes, its all off.

Mrs. L. (Smiling.) You're sure its off?

Mr. S. Yes its off, for ever. My son has stopped fooling and settled down.

Mrs. L. Has he? Now you don't say? Well, I'll vSettle down with him !

Mr. S. Eh, what?

Mrs. L. Nothing, nothing, but you know I came to say —

Mr. S. Yes, what did you come for?

Mrs. L. I came here to say that its all off, too, but on secimd thought I believe that you can tell him for me that its all on, you see I sometimes change my mind.

Mr. S. You could do more, madam, you could change mine.

Mrs. L. Could I? Too bad that Jack is not more like 3^ou. I somehow think it would be easier.

Mr. S. Eh, what would be easier?

Mrs. L. (Smiling.) Oh, everything, you know,

Mr. S. No, I don't know, I wish I did. (She goes close to him.)

Mrs. L. Ho^v very black your hair is !

Mr. S. (Smiling.) Do you think so? I don't look like an old man, do I? (Aside.) She's a damned fine woman, thaVs what she is.

Mrs. L. No, but you look like a very—

Mr. S. Ver3^ what now ?

Mrs. L. Very nice man! (Lottv appears at back.)

'Lottj. Oh ho, what's this? I thought Mr. Schuyler had come. But this is — company.

Mr. S. (Bows.) To whom have I the pleasure of speaking?

Mrs. L Yes, who is this young person?

Lotty. ( With a glance at both and imitation of their manner.) And who are these old people?

Mrs. L. Good, little girl I

Mr. S. What did you sa_y your name was?

Lotty. I did not say; come, old man, where's Jack? '

Mr. S. Well, upon my word, do you mean Mr. John Schuyler?

Lotty. Perhaps I do; just tell him I want to see him.

Mr. S. What name shall I say ?

Lotty. Say LottA^ and he'll understand.

Mr. S. (Looking from one to the other bewildered.) Lotty! Great Heavens, what does this mean

Mrs. L. Oh ho, so there was a Lotty! My good child, don't you think you've made a mistake ?

Lottie. No, my good woman, I don't think I have. Mr. Schuyler is a — friend of mine.

Mr. S. (Turning to Mrs. L.) And may I ask, madam, who 3^ou are ?

Mrs. L. (Smiling.) Certainly 3^011 ma}^ ask.

Mr. S. Well?

Mrs. L. Well.

Mr. S. Will you tell me who you are, my clear madam ?

Mrs. L. (Smiling.) Certainly, 1 am Mr. Jack Schuyler's fiancee! (Lotty and Mr. S. much astonished.) You'd better ask him to come out and see me.

Lotty. (To Mr. S.) .Oh, bah! Don't believe her; Jack knows better than to marry his grandmother!

Mr. S. There is some terrible mistake! I have never heard Jack speak of you, madam.

Mrs. L. Now you must admit that is not my fault — father! (She laughs and he groans.) I told Jack it would be wise to tell you. Come go and tell him that Lotty and — a friend, want to see him.

Mr. S. (Going toward door.) Yes, he shall come in here and untangle this affair. (At the door at left.) Jack!

Mrs. L. Lest the suddenness of my appearance might upset the dear boy, I will just stand behind this curtain. (She gets behind the curtain at right; head out.)

Jack. (Appears at door left ; sees Lotty.) What is it? Excuse me sir, I haven't found the picture yet. (Disappears.)

Mr. S. (Angrily.) Confound the boy ! To leave me with two women on my hands. Jack, I say !

Mrs. L. (Head otit from the curtain.) Dear Jack! If he only knew I was here! (Dick comes in at back.)

Dick. Oh here you are, Lotty. You haven't gone, Mr. Schuyler. Where's Jack ?

Mrs. L. (Putting her head out.) That's just it, we're waiting for — dear Jack!

Dick. (Much astonished.) Who is that lady? And what is she doing in there ?

Mr. S. I don't know who she is, but I think she is, (touches his head.)

Mrs. L. I'll tell you why I am here, Mr.

Dick. (Bowing.) Sherwood.

Mrs. L. Sherwood, oh yes, very happy to meet you, Mr. Sherwood, you see I'm-er-engaged to Jack, and I came in here for fear the sudden sight of me would upset him.

Lotty. He's changed if it would.

Dick. (Laughing.) Oh I see. (Aside.) The widow's turned up, by Jove! Now he's in for it! (To her.) Won't you have a seat, Mrs. Leslie.

Mrs. L. (Coming out.) How did you know me, Mr. Sherwood? I suppose you've heard Jack speak of me.

Dick. Yes, he wa? speaking of you onU' to-day.

Mr. S. Well, well, upon my word, I like this, my only son engaged, and I not know it.

Lotty. There's a mvsteryhere and I'll just stay and see it out.

Dick. Well, you see —

Mr. S. No, sir, I don't see, I don't see, I

Mrs. L. (To Dick.) Oh Mr. Sherwood, how much you look like an old beau of mine.

Lotty. Well, how many more does she want?

Dick. (Becoming nervous.) No, no, you've made a mistake, lovely day isn't it? So bright I think it w411 — rain. (Aside.) Not me!

Mr. S. (At the door at left.) Here he comes, now I'll have an explanation of this affair.

Mrs. L. (Going behind curtain again.) Oh he's coming; now I'll surprise him, don't you think he'll be surprised to see me, Mr. Sherwood ?

Dick. (Smiling.) Just a little! .

Lotty. She's a queer party, she is.

Mr. S. (Leading Jack in.) Now sir, I want to know what this means, sir, here are two — (Mrs.L. puts out her hand and pulls his coat tail, Jack's back is toward her.) Oh!

Jack. (Seeing Lotty.) Oh, the devil! Dick- Dick, I wash my hands of this affair. You're in for it.

Jack. I don't see why. Now father, what's the row about?

Mr. S. Oh, you're very innocent, you are —

Lotty. (Interrupting.) Your fiancee is here, Mr. Schuvler.

Jack. (Astonished.) M}^ what is here?

Mr. S. The lady you're engaged to sir, and Fd like to know sir,—

Lotty. And she's an elderly person.

Mrs. L. (Puttino: her head out and speaking to Dick; Jack does not see her.) An elderly person ! Now, Mr. Sherwood, I'm sure you wouldn't call me that ?

Dick. (Smiling.) Never!

Jack. An elderly person, what are \'Ou talking about ?

Mr. S. To think my onW son should so deceive me. Do you deny you are engaged to this lady?

Jack. What lady? Of course I deny it, I don't even know what you are talking about.

Lotty. Well, Mr. Jack Schuyler, you are the —

Jack. Come now, what is the matter? I'm not engaged to anybody, that is not yet!

Mrs. L. (Throwing curtain aside.) Jack! Don't vou remember me?

Jack. (Aghast.) My god! The widow! (He falls into a chair.)

Lotty. So he does know her.

Dick. (To Jack.) Get up, I'll stand by you.

Mr. S. Oh my son, I thought you were a truthful boy !

Jack. Oh sir, its all a mistake, I can explain —

Mrs. L. (To Dick.) Dear Jack! He was thoroughly overcome when he saw^ me !

Dick. Utterly so !

Mr. S. What have you to say for yourself, sir?

Mrs. L. No, I'll explain, (going to Mr. S.) Now don't be hard on Jack; you see it was this way. When your son was some years younger we met, and we loved, didn't we Jack? (he groans) or we met, and he loved, I've always loved — someb dy. And well, something happened and we separated ; so I came here to day to tell Jack that it was all over, but the sight of his — surroundings you know, fascinated me, old times came back, and remembering how he loved me, eh Jack? (he groans) I changed my mind and decided to make him happy, that's all there is to it, I assure you.

Jack. That's quite enough. Yes, father, Mrs. Leslie and I are old friends, but, (speaking to Mrs. L.) you see, here's Lottj^.

Mrs. L. Well, what's she got to do with it?

Jack. (To Lotty.) You'll never give me up, will you, Lotty? (Aside.) Say you'll never give me up, and I'll explain afterwards. (Loud.) We're going to be married, aren't we Lotty, and have a nice little home right in the middle of the lake, aren't we, Lotty?

Lotty. (Understanding.) Yes, ma'am, I'll never give him up, he's my first and only love, aren't you Jack?

Mrs. L. (Smiling.) Why, Jack, don't you remember what you said to me that night, vou said —

Jack. Never mind what I said.

Dick. (Smilmg.) Yes, what did he say?

Mr. S. Made a fool of himself, I'll be bound, he seems to have a genius that way.

Mrs. L. Why don't you remember 3^ou said : my darling, I would give up everything for you, (she imitates his tones) home, family, (he groans) everything that I hold dear; I would climb the highest mountains, swim the deepest rivers —

Jack. Oh come now, I say ; remember Lotty.

hottj. Yes, remember me; Jacks little me!

Dick. Go on, Mrs. Leslie, that was lovely.

Mrs. L. (Handkerchief to her eyes, but smiling.) Its the memory of those happy days that has come to me since I've been here. Yes, Jack, you said —

Mr. S. (Furious.) Never mind what he said, madam. He was an ass, that's what he w^as. I'm disgusted w^ith you, sir, and I wash my hands of you sir, you can paddle your own canoe; engaged to two women at once, it's outrageous sir!

Jack. Oh you don't understand, there's only Lotty, isn't there, Lotty? (puts his arm about her).

Lotty. Yes, there's only me, and w^hat more do you want, — dear Jack !

Mrs. L. (Goes and puts his other arm about herself.) Don't forget me, dear Jack !

Lotty. (Looking round back of Jack.) Go away, you horrid bold woman!

Mrs. L. (Looking round in front of Jack.) Don't be cross, there's a good little girl; you can be his — second wife!

Jack. Dick, I say —

Dick. (Going.) Sorry, old man, but I must be goin^. Ta-ta. you're well fixed.

Mr. S. Well, I'm off; you're a rascal, sir; I'll not forget this. (He goes toward the door).

Mrs. L. (Laughing.) Good by — father !

Lotty. Ta-ta — papa!

Jack. Really you know, I must be going, come Lotty! (He tries to get away, they chase him round the room, and catching him, the curtain falls with one of the women on either side, and the two men laughing in the back ground).