A soul's pilgrimage; being the personal and religious experiences of Charles F. B. Miel

Contents

PAGB

Introduction 5

At College and Seminary 11

Introduction

YOUNG MIEL, a student in the seminary at Besangon, about the year 1842, having heard the eloquent Jesuit, Pere de Place, preach at the cathedral the Advent season, determined then and there to enter the Society of Jesus. But there was a difficulty in the way. Miel had contracted a debt for his collegiate education, which he was now paying off from his salary as tutor to young Marquis de Lenoncourt. He would not be free to follow his attrait until this debt should be paid. Thereupon his friend, the Abbe Perny of Pontarlier, afterwards vicar-apostolic in China, offered to take his place as tutor and turn over the whole of the salary toward the payment of Miel's debt, and did so.

From that time until now, in his hale and reverend age, Dr. Miel has had the gift to win friends. As one of these he has done me the honor to permit me to introduce him to American Churchmen and Christians. If he is not better known than his introducer it is because his useful and most interesting life has been led in fields in which Americans are not wont to walk. Here is the manner of life of the Jesuits described, kindly and with appreciation, by a man who made his full

IFntroDuction novititate with them, remained for several years under their spiritual direction and entertained with them the most friendly relations, until conscience and clear conviction obliged him to leave their church.

It is difficult, moreover, for us, living as we habitually do in the provincialism of our English language, to realize that our venerable confrere is one of that brilliant group of the later years of Louis Philippe, one received on equal terms by Lacordaire, de Ravignan, Lamartine, Montalembert, Lenormant, Ozanam, Jules Simon, Laboulaye, etc.

An English lady, an Anglican, claimed the privilege to take off his shoulders and upon her own the burden of educating his brothers and sisters, in order that he might the sooner enter the Roman priesthood. When the Abbe Gounod turned aside to follow music instead of the priesthood, it was to Miel he gave his surplice and beretta. Ravignan was his confessor, and presented him to the Archbishop of Paris for ordination, and to him was given to represent the French Catholics at the funeral of Daniel O'Connell.

How such a man with such an entourage, with such prospects of preferment before him, was driven from within to abandon it all and start upon the long and weary pilgrimage in search of that

Unttotmctfon place where truth dwells, makes up the story of this book. It is the history of a Soul. His sad conviction that fidelity to truth would lead him out of that great Church in which his heart and imagination were bound in capitive chains, his stumbling about in the darkness of blank negation, his search for spiritual kinsmen among the Unitarians and the Transcendentalists, and his finding of a spiritual resting place in the Anglican Communion — all these make up a story which has been often lived but seldom told. We wait yet for the Apologia of the convert from Rome, which may be set over against that other drawn out by the great Anglican preacher who became the insignificant Roman cardinal. , That no Protestant cardinalate has come to Dr. Miel is because Protestantism pays her champions in a different kind of wares. The foundation truth of the truth as it is in Christ, is that truth is its own exceeding great reward. None knows this better than the author of this autobiography, who, in his serene old age, sets down in little the story of a life which was great, at the solicitation of his sons and his friends, among whom I am glad to subscribe myself.

S. D. McConnell.

Holy Trinity, Brooklyn,

Advent, 1898.

AUTHOR'S INTRODUCTORY.

My Dear Sons :

You have often expressed a desire to know more perfectly the noteworthy events and especially the religious experiences and changes of my life. You say that you feel these may not only interest but help spiritually those who, like myself, have been harassed and tried by doubt. If this be so, I will gladly tell my story to you, personal and sacred as many of the details are, and you in turn may tell it to others.

Let me begin at the beginning, and relate to you, first, in all simplicity, the principal incidents of my classical education.

Chapter I. At College And Seminary

I WAS born on the twenty-third of September, 1818, at Vars, near Gray, a village about eight leagues from the city of Dijon. My parents were deeply religious people and, in their own simple circle, highly considered. They sustained themselves and their family on the produce of a modest property. My mother, then in her twentieth year, took charge during the winter of a school for young girls, the first one started in the district. The cure of the parish, M. Demay, was a man of superior culture and learning. His relations to my parents were those of a kind friend as well as a devoted pastor. When I was still a stripling, this generous man took an affectionate interest in me, discovering, as he fondly hoped, a recruit for the sacred militia. Counting my taste for study and religious exercises as prophetic of a career, he arranged with my parents to send me to the college at Gray.

Our good friend, ambitious for his young charge, had insisted on my entering one of the

12 a Sours KMlsvtmacje

advanced classes, which made my course difficult and somewhat discouraging at first. But I had resolved to succeed, and by persistent effort at the end of the first year was able to secure the two highest prizes ; those for excellence and diligence. The year following brought me forward far beyond my scant hopes and even the highest expectations of the cure himself. Of the fourteen prizes, thirteen fell to my lot with honorable mention of the fourteenth. It was decided by the masters that I should not enter the second class but pass at once to rhetoric, the highest form.

My life in the college was so pleasant and my progress so encouraging, that I found myself looking forward to the time when I might become a member of its corps of teachers. In all likelihood I should have become such had not an unforeseen incident occurred which gave my thoughts and views a more serious turn.

During the vacation, a young fellow-student came to visit us at Vars. He was not what one would call an exemplary youth, but a cheerful and pleasant companion, and such as one might pass a happy day with and not discover any grave fault. As I accompanied him homeward, he showed his real character in such a revolting manner that I was amazed and stunned. My revulsion of feeling, I cannot describe. Without even saying adieu, I

Bt College and Seminary 13

turned 011 my heel, and when I had reached a spot where he could no longer see me, I threw myself on my knees asking pardon for him and grace for myself. A vile suggestion made by him was a horrible revelation to me, and my whole nature was strangely stirred. In a single glance there opened before me the two possibilities of human life : the terrible apparition of a soul wedded to the vileness of sin, the heavenly vision of a soul consecrated to the beauty of holiness.

My resolution was instantly made. I determined that in the future I would devote myself wholly to the cause of religion. Twenty minutes later I was at my mother's side communicating my resolution to her. She embraced me fervently, happy as one rarely is in this world. My father, too, heartily sanctioned my determination, and that very evening we spoke of it to our worthy cure, who wrote the next day to the Superior at Luxeuil, asking my admission to his seminary, the first in the diocese of Besanccn.

There was one serious objection to my leaving my father's house, which did not occur to me at once. At Gray I had lived with relatives and consequently my expenses were very small. At Luxeuil it would cost considerably more to live, and, as our family now numbered nine, my parents u B Sours pilgrimage

were not in a position to make a large outlay for my education, much as they would have liked to do so. My decision, however, was made, and it was a matter too serious to me to admit of change. I set out without delay to visit a cousin of my mother's, a bachelor of comfortable fortune and generous spirit. Having told him frankly how matters stood, he asked me whether, if he should agree to advance the money for my expenses as the need for it arose, I would pledge myself to make it good when I was able to do so. I gave him my word to this effect, and without more ado, returned to my home, and immediately set out for the seminary at Luxeuil.

At that time the seminary had at its head two remarkable men, the Superior, M. Guerin, who some years after became Bishop of Langres, and the Director, M. Mabile, who formerly had been Vicar of Gray, where he had known me, and who afterwards became Bishop of St. Claude and finally Bishop of Versailles. Both of these men favored me with a special affection of which I still retain many precious proofs.

Coming from the third class, according to rule, I should have passed to the second ; but after brief examination, I was put into the highest class, that of the rhetoricians.

There was a privilege for those who obtained

Ht College ano Seminary 15

the first rank in that class they greatly coveted, that of dining on Sunday at the professors' table. This pleasure fell to my lot the six last Sundays in the seminary year.

During the summer, M. le Comte de Montalembert, the youngest of the peers of France, the leading layman of the liberal Catholic Party, and afterwards the associate of Lamennais and Lacordaire in the publication of " L'Avenir," came to pay our seminary a visit. A kind of academical reception was given him, and I was charged by the Superior to address the young and noble peer in behalf of the establishment. Although the speech inspired by the occasion won from him flattering congratulations, I was far from suspecting that later I should find myself in frequent communication with this distinguished man, then upon the threshold of a brilliant career.

The diocese of Besangon had its school of philosophy and higher mathematics at Vesoul, cheflieu of la Haute-Saone. There I pursued these studies for two years, and there it was my good fortune to meet one who was to prove my warmest friend, M. Paul Perny, of Pontarlier, later apostolic vicar in China, and author of a much esteemed Chinese-French grammar and dictionary. This noble fellow was soon to illustrate for me in the most real and generous way the

*6 B Soul's fpilgrimaae

words of La Fontaine : " How sweet a thing is a true friend ! He seeks for our wants deep down in our hearts. He spares us the shyness of discovering them ourselves."

Up to this time my studies had been simply preparatory. It was at the great seminary of Besangon that they were to be completed, where the regular course in theology comprises four years. According to a special arrangement in this diocese, the students pass the first of these years as boarders in the seminary itself. The three following years they lodge in the town, as convenient to them. The object of this arrangement is to initiate the young clerics into the life of the world. After my first year under this system, I looked for a way of not only meeting my expenses, but also of earning enough to enable me to begin the reimbursement of my debt. The Superior, aware of this intention on my part, most kindly interested himself in my behalf and secured for me the position of preceptor in a noble and highly esteemed family, that of the Marquis de Lenoncourt. For two years I held this enviable position, devoting two hours each day to my studies at the seminary and the rest of my time to my young pupils.

Already I had begun to be preoccupied as to what I should do after my ordination. What I

Bt College ano Seminary had seen of the manner of life among the country priests did not at all attract me, and I mentally resolved to serve in a different way the cause ot Christ and His Church. Such were my feelings, when a Jesuit, renowned for his eloquence, Pere de Place, came to preach the Advent at the cathedral of Besangon. I followed the instructions regularly, and was so deeply impressed with the man and his message that I thought it well to go and see this reverend father and ask his advice as to my best course for the future. The more I knew him the more I admired him, and presently the idea formed itself in my mind that no higher purpose could I follow than to become a member of the society which he so worthily represented. On learning of my desire, he offered to recommend me to his Provincial as a postulant. There was but one serious obstacle to my acceptance of such an offer — the debt that I had promised and had already begun to pay. It was then that Abbe Perny gave me the most noble evidence of his goodness and the truth and depth of his friendship. Without a moment's hesitation, he proposed to take my place as preceptor of the young Lenoncourt and to give his salary toward the debt I had contracted. It was too generous a sacrifice, too kind an act. Yet his heart was set upon making it and he was determined that I should carry out my idea. I knew him well ; too well indeed to think of declining his offer, and thanks to him I was able to make the necessary arrangements and set out for the novitiate at Avignon, the only one the society then held in France.

Chapter II. The Jesuits

1FEEL called upon here, in justice to the Jesuits and for the better information of those who oppose that order, to state plainly what I know and think of this remarkable society and also of the character of its members.

Indirectly it owes its birth to Luther !

It was towards the middle of the sixteenth century, when the influence of the Reformation threatened to spread throughout all Christendom, and made as if to force an entrance even at Rome itself, that the cry arose from those who had remained faithful to the papal power : " Who will check the onrush of this devastating torrent?" In answer to this cry of distress, Ignatius of Loyola, a man of ardent zeal and rare genius, came to the front as champion of the Church's cause. With a keen sense of the impending danger, he resolutely set about organizing a force which then and thereafter might be relied upon to stand firm by the papacy and secure its perpetuation. The fruit of his zeal and labor was the Society of Jesus, which to-day is rightly reckoned the most influential clerical body in the religious world. What it has done thus far is a matter of history, what it expects to do in the future is a matter of conjecture. A few words only as to its instrumentalities and methods, and first of all as to the character of the men who compose it.

They cannot be ordinary men ; they must give evidence of special excellence in some unmistakable way. When a postulant has been admitted, the superiors, acting upon the principle that every man is endowed with some predominant talent, as soon as that talent is discovered, see to it that every opportunity shall be given for its highest cultivation. From the time when he is admitted as a member of the society the novice is afforded the best possible chance for intellectual development along the lines of his special aptitude. If his gift is that of teaching, then a teacher of the highest order he shall become ; if he promises ability as a preacher, then a preacher of power and persuasiveness he will be trained to be. At least, it shall not be for want of proper exercise in his calling or for lack of wise and watchful direction, if he fail to attain success.

Meanwhile his conduct must be above reproach, and to this end there is an " exercise of modesty" in the discipline of each week. The novices are brought together in their hall of assembly, and the

Gbe Jesuits master of novices, after prayer, summons at his discretion one of their number, who immediately leaves his place, advances in silence to the middle of the room and kneels. His brother novices are then called upon in turn to say what they have noticed in his behavior requiring correction or improvement. In all good conscience each must give his criticism, and when the entire assembly have complied with the rule, the master reviews the comments that have been made, to which he adds his own admonition, indicating clearly what must be amended before another such inquiry. The same impressive and searching discipline is performed for every novice.

To this exercise is added another, of not so serious a nature, called the " exercice de bonne tenue." Its object is to inculcate dignity and grace of manner. In the presence of his brothers, the youthful novice is required to walk, to take a seat, to salute a friend or a superior, etc., etc., and all these gestures are submitted to the scrutiny of the assembly in order that defects in deportment may be pointed out and corrected. It is for this reason that the members of the society, as far as social demeanor is concerned, appear to an observer to have been run into the same mould, and can be distinguished even in a crowd.

These two illustrations will serve to indicate

B Soul's pilgrimage he minuteness of detail in the discipline of the society. Nor are such methods to be lightly passed upon as gratuitous, for the object in view is to turn out men trained in every particular and destined eventually to become the polished tools of their several superiors.

To this end the greatest stress is laid upon unquestioning obedience. For the Jesuit this becomes in time the supreme virtue. Individual preference has no place in his code of morals. In any supposable conflict between personal inclination and the rule of obedience, the Jesuit is not to hesitate for an instant. He is to obey, first, last, and always. The rule by which he binds himself is couched in the following explicit and comprehensive terms : " Obedientia vestra sit ex omni parte perfecta; turn in intellectu, turn in actu, turn in voluntate." To paraphrase : " Let your obedience be perfect in every way ; in understanding (persuaded that what you are ordered to do then and there is the best thing you can do), in action (doing what is ordered exactly, neither more nor less), in will (not doing it because you must, but with a willing heart)." This virtue of obedience is cultivated by every means possible, and the rise of any relationship which might hinder its growth is prevented by simple devices. For instance, the novices are always three in a room, lest strong

Gbe $e6utts 23 personal attachments spring up, which might be the case where two are thrown closely and intimately together. The same rule is observed at the time of recreation, where three must be found walking together. In leaving the room, the novice first seeks the permission of the "ancient" (who may be the youngest man of the group), and must say what he means to do in his absence. If it is his purpose to call at another room, he must also state the fact and the reason to the " ancient" there.

In order to inculcate a spirit of readiness to obey, even in the performance of the humblest duties, a novice is required to spend a month in the kitchen and do the bidding of the cook (a man of meagre education) as freely and faithfully as if he were Jesus Himself. In the spirit of a servant of the Master he is obliged to do the most menial work, taking no account of its unpleasantness, but rather counting it gain to perform a disagreeable office.

Promptitude is emphasized as an essential element of willing obedience, and in order to develop this virtue the novice is constantly reminded of his duty in a very practical way. For him, the clock which calls to any exercise, no matter of what sort, is the voice of God. His part is to leave instantly the occupation with which he is concerned at the time, however engrossing it may be, and hasten to the performance of the duty of the hour. Perfect obedience admits of no delay even in seemingly small matters.

Of course the most important object in the discipline is the spiritual improvement of the future Jesuit. To effect this, there is the practice of solitary meditation one hour every morning, preceded by a preparation of a quarter of an hour and followed by a review of the same length. In addition to this, the novice passes through the great Retreat of thirty-one days, during which he is left entirely to himself and may communicate only with his director. In this course, he observes five meditations of an hour each, one of them in the middle of the night, which with the preparations and reviews occupy seven hours and a half in every twenty-four. Let me say for the information ot those who are apt to count such devotions perfunctory, that one finds oneself entering so naturally and so deeply into these periods of silence and sober thought that looking at the notes which were written at the conclusion of each one of them, about the distracting thoughts that had come into my mind, I find several times this remark : " My distractions during this meditation might have taken the time of the recital of the Lord's Prayer." So it is that the Jesuit is trained to be a gentleman, a superior man, an obedient man, a spiritual

Gbe 3esutt6 25 man. Having, then, a perfect tool at his disposal, in what way shall the Superior use it for the ultimate object of the institution ?

The two principal means employed by the Jesuits to obtain and exercise a decisive influence over human souls are education and direction.

To accomplish their work, the leaders of the Reformation wisely spread and diffused learning among the people. To counteract that work, the Jesuits conceived the idea of raising not altar against altar, but school against school; not indeed for the sake of learning in itself, but as the most effective means of saving and extending the power of the Roman Church. No pains are spared to accomplish this purpose ; so that you will find the Jesuit teacher not content merely with instructing his charges, but before everything else endeavoring to win their affection and respect. Particularly is this the case with those who have the children of Protestants under their guidance. And in this direction their success is so complete that those of their pupils who do not become Jesuits or fervent Roman Catholics, remain almost invariably devoted friends of their former masters. The same is true of the Ladies of the Sacred Heart, whose establishments correspond to those of the Jesuits in object and moods and are under their direction. Both the colleges of the Jesuits and the schools of the Sacred Heart are designed, not for the poor, but for the children of influential parents, who, in time, are likely to occupy positions of prominence in society. To control society at its best, to shape the minds of those who are presumably destined to influence a large circle of others because of their rank and attainment, is the purpose of education in the hands of the Jesuits.

Another and perhaps more effective avenue of power and influence is spiritual direction. Under ordinary conditions any one of the faithful, conscious of sin, is enjoined to confess it to his priest, who, with or without words of advice, grants or withholds absolution, as the case may be. The relations between confessor and penitent naturally end here. But it is not so with a Jesuit confessor. Spiritual direction supplements confession. By dint of continued persistence, the Jesuits have succeeded in having this idea accepted by the pious Romanist, that just as the word of the Bishop of Rome is to be unhesitatingly accepted in matters of dogma, so the word of the spiritual director is to be faithfully followed in matters ot conduct. In order to walk in the way of Christian perfection, the devout believer must accept one condition, that of. perfect obedience, and in all things, even the temporal, act upon the advice of his director. It follows from this that those who

XLbc Jesuits 27 have placed themselves under the direction of Jesuits — and most Roman Catholics of standing have done so — are destined to act out the parts assigned them by a society of which the supreme object is the exaltation of the papacy. One can readily see to what an extraordinary degree this organization is able to carry out the ambition of Rome. The Superior-General has absolute power over the provincials of the order ; the provincials absolute power over the superiors of the various establishments/ colleges or residences; these superiors in turn the same authority over the subordinate fathers of their houses ; the fathers over the faithful who follow their direction ; and lastly, these faithful Catholics, being oftentimes at the head of some seemingly independent society (like that of St. Vincent de Paul), carry the same influence to the very last and most humble category of Romanists.

Thus the Jesuits fulfil their fourth vow — that of complete consecration to the interests of papal authority. Small wonder is it, if Rome treats them as its privileged retainers, and grants a Jesuit peculiar powers which no secular priest may exercise, save under the authority of his bishop. The Jesuit knows no master but Rome, and Rome rewards his service with special favors.

I remained at the house of probation of the

Jesuits more than a year, from January, 1842, until March, 1843. I made my complete novitiate there, passing through all the tests to which aspirants to this famous order are subjected. I retain a precious and pious remembrance of it all. It was there I acquired the best of my early religious experience, and my notes of daily meditations are unequivocal testimonies of faith, of fervor, and of zeal.

The fathers of this residence were eight in number, the novices thirty. Never have I met with so much talent united to so much piety and virtue. The thirst for souls seemed to devour these young aspirants to the apostolate.

One day it was reported that four missionaries of the society had just died the death of martyrs in Madure. The master of the novices called these together and announced with evidence of deep emotion the sad but glorious news. Then, after a moment's silence, he continued : "That is not all, brothers. These worthy fathers must be replaced. Which of you are ready to start immediately to evangelize the very people who have killed our noble missionaries?" With one accord all present rose to a man. Four were selected, and within forty-eight hours were on their way to the field of blood. This is the devotion of those who are so badly understood and so often calumniated.

XLbc Jesuits

However, sincere as was my admiration for the members of this society, when the moment came for me to declare my allegiance to its rule, I was obliged to decline to make the step and for a very simple but forcible reason. According to the rule of the order, every novice who pronounced his vows, not yet ordained a priest, could not be made so until the age of thirty. I should have had to wait five or six years and pass them in study or teaching before being elevated to the sacerdotal office. I longed to preach and to work; I pined to engage actively and openly in the wider field of the Church's labors. Moreover, there was pressing upon me a duty that it seemed to me I could not honestly ignore. The eldest of eight children in a family in which the question of daily bread was always an urgent one, it seemed to me the time had come to put my shoulder to the family burden and to help to bear the weight of this responsibility along with my parents. Four brothers and three sisters were growing up, and must needs be educated. As the eldest son, all possible sacrifices had been made to give me the advantages of a liberal training. It behooved me, in simple gratitude, to see to it that my labors brought some practical measure of comfort and assistance to those who had so freely and generously denied themselves for me. Mindful of this duty I resolved for the time being to couple my work in the ministry with some such employment as would enable me to render the home cares less burdensome. The Superiors of the society entered heartily into these views, and it was arranged that I should go to Paris, remaining still under their spiritual direction, and prepare myself there to receive Holy Orders, engaging meanwhile in such work as I was able to do.