Pastor's companion for weddings and funerals

Preface

There are many books of forms for the use of ministers ;

but most of them contain other matter besides that which is

needed at a wedding or a funeral. This compact handbook

has been prepared to meet a need often experienced. I

desire to acknowledge my indebtedness to E. T. Hiscox,

D. D. , for the use of two Marriage forms taken from his

Star-book, published by Ward & Drummond, New York.

They are Numbers II. and III., used by W. R. Williams,

d. d., and R. H. Neale, d. d. This little book is sent forth

with an earnest prayer that it may be useful to those who

are the Ministers of life and death.

Robert G. Seymour.

Philadelphia, 1898.

WEDDINGS

MARRIAGE SERVICES i.

The parties standing before the ?7iinister, the ?na?i at tht woman's right; after a short prayer, the minister shall

say :

THE ordinance of marriage is an institution of God. God saw in the Garden of Eden that it was not good for man to be alone, so he gave him a helpmeet. As it is an appointment of God it is to be entered into soberly and discreetly, as in his sight. In his holy word you will find the counsel which you will need in this mutual relationship. The vows are to be broken only by death itself. In token therefore of having chosen each other as partners for life, you may join your right hands.

The ma?i taking the wo??ia?i y s right hand, the ?ninister shall say to the man :

DO you A., take B., whom you hold by the right hand, to be your lawful and wedded wife ? Do you promise to love, to honor, to cherish, to protect ; forsaking all others, in sickness as well as in health, in adversity as well as prosperity ; to cleave only unto her so long as you both shall live ?

The man shall say, I do. Then the minister shall say unto the woman : O you B., take A., whom you hold by the right hand, to be your lawful and wedded husband ? Do vou

D promise to love, to honor, to cherish ; forsaking all others, in sickness as well as in health, in adversity as well as prosperity, to cleave unto him so long as you both shall live ?

The woman shall say, I do. The minister shall then say, handing the ring to the man :

rOU will seal your vows with the ring.

The man, taking the ring from the minister, and putting it on the woman' s Jinger, shall repeat after the 7ni?tister :

WITH this ring I thee wed ; with my heart' s faithful affections and my worldly goods I thee endow, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen.

The minister shall then pray. After prayer the parties joining hands again, the minister shall say :

AND now by virtue of authority vested in me, by the laws of this State and as a minister of Jesus Christ (for this is a civil and religious service), I pronounce you husband and wife. And what God hath joined together let not man put asunder.

The minister shall then pronounce this benediction :

THE Lord bless thee, and keep thee ; the Lord make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee ; the Lord lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.

II. The parties standing before the 7ninister, he shall say

IVINE Revelation has declared marriage to be honorable in all. It is an institution of God, ordained in

D the time of man's innocency, before he had sinned against his Maker, and been yet banished from Paradise. It was given in wisdom and in kindness, to repress irregular affection, to support social order, and to provide that, through well-ordered families truth and holiness might be transmitted from one age to another. Earlier, therefore, than all laws of merely human origin, it lies at the basis of all human legislation and civil government, and the peace and well-being of the nation and land.

We learn from the history of our Saviour that he honored a marriage festival with his presence, and wrought there the beginning of his miracles. And by his Holy Spirit, speaking through his apostle, he has selected the union thus formed, as an apt emblem of the union, endeared and indissoluble, that binds together himself and his own ransomed Church.

A relation that is thus consecrated should not be formed thoughtlessly and irreverently ; but advisedly in the fear of God, and as for the purposes for which he, its Divine Author, ordained and blessed matrimony.

And now, as in his sight, and as you will answer in the day when all hearts shall be made manifest, I charge you to declare if there be any cause that should prevent your lawful union.

From your silence I presume there is none. Will the parties now join their right hands ?

Then he shall say to tJu man :

DO you, A. B., take C. D., whom you now hold by the hand, as your true and lawful wife ; and, God helping you, will you love, cherish, honor, and protect her, cleaving only and ever unto her, until God by death shall separate you ?

He shall answer, I do. Then to the woman :

DO you, C. D., take A. £., whom you now hold by the hand, as your true and lawful husband ; and, God helping you, will you love, cherish, honor, and obey him, cleaving only and ever unto him, until God by death shall separate you ?

She shall answer, I do.

Where a ring is used, the groom is here to place it on the bride* s hand ; the minister adds these wards:

THE circle, the emblem of eternity ; and gold, the type of what is least tarnished and most enduring ; it is to show how lasting and imperishable the faith now mutually pledged.

As the union now formed is to be sundered only by death, it becomes you to consider the duties you solemnly assume. If these be remembered and faithfully discharged, they will add to the happiness of this life, lightening by dividing its inevitable sorrows, and heightening by doubling all its blessedness. But if these obligations be neglected and violated, you cannot escape the keenest misery, as well as the darkest guilt.

It is the duty of the husband to provide for the support of his wife, to shelter her from danger, and to cherish for her a manly and unalterable affection, it being the command of God's word that husbands love their wives, even as Christ loved the Church, and gave his own life for her.

It is the duty of the wife to reverence and obey her husband, and to put on the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is, in God' s sight, an ornament of great price, his word commanding that wives be subject unto their own husbands, even as the Church is subject unto Christ.

PASTORS COMPANION II

It is the duty of both to delight each in the society of the other ; to remember that, in interest and in reputation as in affection, they are to be henceforth one and undivided ; to preserve an inviolable fidelity, and to see to it that what God has joined thus together, man never puts asunder.

PRAYER.

OUR Father, who art in Heaven, who hast, in thy wise and tender care for mankind, ordained and blessed the institution of matrimony, we pray of Thee, graciously to regard Thy servant and handmaiden, who have thus solemnly pledged themselves to each other, and sworn unto Thee ; that, through Thy good care and guidance, they may evermore remember and keep these their vows ; be kept themselves in unbroken concord and sympathy all the days of their earthy life ; and be at the last, with all those most near and most dear unto them, gathered an unbroken household to Thy right hand on the day of judgment. And may all of us, here assembled, be of that blessed company who shall be called to go in to the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. And this we ask, only in the name and through the merits of Him, Thine own Son and our Redeemer, the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

BENEDICTION.

IN pursuance of your solemn pledges thus given and in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, I pronounce you Husband and Wife : and may the God before whom you have thus vowed, look upon you, to make you blessed and a blessing, in all your earthly ways ; and grant you, when the snares and trials of this life are ended, a glad and eternal reunion in heaven. Amen.

III. The.parties standing before the minister, he shall say

MARRIAGE is a joyous occasion. It is connected in our thoughts with the magic charm of home, and with all that is pleasant and attractive in the tenderest and most sacred relations of life. When celebrated in Cana of Galilee, it was sanctioned and cheered by the presence of the Lord himself ; and is declared by an inspired Apostle, to be honorable in all.

AND now, if you A. B. and C. D. have at present appeared for the purpose of being joined in legal wedlock, you will please to signify this intention, by uniting your right hands.

The ?ninister shall then say to the man :

A. B., T^\0 y° u ta ^ e tne lady whom you now hold by the -L' hand, to be your lawful and wedded wife ?

Answer, I do ; or assent. '

DO you promise to love and cherish her, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others keep thee only unto her, so long as you both shall live ?

Answer, I do ; or assent. Then to the woman :

C. D., \^\® y° u * a k e tne gentleman who now stands by -L' your side and who holds you by the hand, to be your lawful and wedded husband ?

Answer, I do ; or assent.

DO you promise, to love and cherish him, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as you both shall live ?

, Inswer, I do ; or assent.

YOU mutually promise in the presence of God and of these witnesses, that you will at all times and in all circumstances, conduct yourselves toward one another as becometh Husband and Wife?

T

Both answer, I do ; or assent.

HAT you will love, cherish and adhere to one another, until separated by death ?

Both answer, I do ; or assent. If a ring be used, the minister will say to the bridegroom :

Y

OU will please place this ring on the hand of your affianced Bride. . . And reunite your hands.

He shall continue :

HAVING taken these pledges of your affection and vows of fidelity, I do therefore, by authority of the laws of this State, sanctioned by divine authority, pronounce you, A. B. and C. D., lawfully married, Husband and Wife ; in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

w

HAT, therefore, God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

PRAYER.

THE EPISCOPAL MARRIAGE SERVICE.

At the day and time appointed for solemnization of matrimony, the persons to be married shall come into the body of the church, or shall be ready in some proper house, with their friends a?id neighbors ; and there standi7ig together, the man on the right ha7id and the woman on the left, the minister shall say :

DEARLY beloved : We are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this company, to join together this Man and this Woman in holy matrimony ; which is commended of St. Paul to be honorable among all men : and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly ; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, and in the fear of God. Into this holy estate, these two persons present come now to be joined. If any man can show just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace.

And, also, speaking unto the persons who are to be married, he shall say :

I REQUIRE and charge you both, as ye will answer at the dreadful day of judgment, when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you know any impediment why ye may not be lawfully joined together in matrimony, ye do now confess it. For be ye well assured, that if any persons are joined together otherwise than as God's word doth allow, their marriage is not lawful.

If no impediment shall be alleged, the minister shall say to

the man : M. t \ \ TILT thou have this Woman to thy wedded wife, V V to live together after God' s ordinance, in the

PASTORS COMPANION I 5

holy estate of matrimony ? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her, in sickness and in health ; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live ?

The man shall answer, I will.

Then shall the niinister say to the won an :

N. t T I 7ILT thou have this Man to thy wedded husband, VV to live together after God's ordinance, in the holy estate of matrimony ? Wilt thou obey him and serve him, love, honor, and keep him, in sickness and in health ; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live ?

The woman shall answer, I will.

Then shall the minister say :

Who giveth this Woman to be married to this Man ?

Then shall they give their troth to each other i?i this manner. The minister, receivi?ig the woman at her father" s or friend' s hands, shall cause the man with his right hand to take the woman by her right hand, and to say after him as follow eth :

IM. take thee N. to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance ; and thereto I plight thee my troth.

7hen shall they loose their hands ; and the womayi with her right hand taking the man by his right hand, shall likewise say after the minister :

IN. take thee M. to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance ; and thereto I give thee my troth.

7 hen shall they again loose their hands ; and the man shah give unto the woman a ring. And the mi?iister taking the ring shall deliver it wito the man, to put it upon the fourth fi?iger of the womari s left hand. And the man holding the ring there, and taught by the minister, shall say :

WITH this Ring I thee wed, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow : In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

Then the man, leaving the ring upon the fourth finger of the woman' $ left hand, the minister shall say :

Let us pray.

OUR Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation ; but deliver us from evil. Amen.

O ETERNAL God, Creator and Preserver of all mankind, Giver of all spiritual grace, the Author of everlasting life ; Send thy blessing upon these thy servants, this man and this women, whom we bless in thy Name ; that, as Isaac and Rebecca lived faithfully together, so these persons may surely perform and keep the vow and covenant betwixt them made, (whereof this Ring given and received is a token and pledge), and may ever remain in perfect love and peace together, and live according to thy laws ; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Then shall the minister join their right hands together, and

say :

Those whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder.

Then shall the minister speak unto the company :

FORASMUCH as M. and N, have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have given and pledged their troth, each to the other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving a Ring, and by joining hands ; I pronounce that they are Man and Wife, In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

And the minister shall add this blessing :

GOD the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Ghost, bless, preserve, and keep you ; the Lord mercifully with his favour look upon you, and fill you with all spiritual benediction and grace ; that ye may so live together in this life, that in the world to come ye may have life everlasting. Amen.

FUNERALS

FUNERAL SERVICES

FRAILTY

MAN that is born of a woman is of few days and full of trouble. He cometh forth as a flower, and is cut down : he fleeth also as a shadow and continueth not. — Job 14 : 1, 2.

In thoughts from the visions of the night, when deep sleep falleth on men, Fear came upon me, and trembling, which made all my bones to shake. Then a spirit passed before my face ; the hair of my flesh stood up : It stood still, but I could not discern the form thereof : an image was before mine eyes ; there was silence, and I heard a voice, saying, Shall mortal man be more just than God ? shall a man be more pure than his Maker ? Behold, he put no trust in his servants ; and his angels he charged with folly : How much less in them that dwell in houses of clay, whose foundation is in the dust, which are crushed before the moth ? They are destroyed from morning to evening : they perish for ever without any regarding it. Doth not their excellency which is in them go away ? they die, even without wisdom. — Job 4 : 13-21.

For he maketh sore, and bindeth up : he woundeth, and his hands make whole. He shall deliver thee in six troubles : yea, in seven there shall no evil touch thee. In famine he shall redeem thee from death : and in war from the power of the sword. Thou shalt be hid from the -courge of the tongue : neither shalt thou be afraid of

22 PASTOK

destruction when it cometh. At destruction and famine thou shalt laugh : neither shalt thou be afraid of the beasts of the earth. For thou shalt be in league with the stones of the field : and the beasts of the field shall be at peace with thee. And thou shalt know that thy tabernacle shall be in peace ; and thou shalt visit thy habitation, and shalt not sin. Thou shalt know also that thy seed shall be great, and thine offspring as the grass of the earth. Thou shalt come to thy grave in a full age, like as a shock of corn cometh in in his season. Lo this, we have searched ^it, so it is ; hear it, and know thou it for thy good. — Job j .- 18—27. my days are swifter than a post : they flee away, they see no good. They are passed away as the swift ships : as the eagle that hasteth to the prey. If I say, I will forget my complaint, I will leave off my heaviness, and comfort myself : I am afraid of all my sorrows, I know that thou wilt not hold me innocent — Job g : 2J-28.

Go to now, ye that say. To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain : Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life ? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. For that ye ought to say If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that — James 4: 13-ij.

See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as e. Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. — Eph. 5 *5> i6-

VANITY.

I SAID, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue : I will keep my mouth with a bridle, while the wicked is before me. I was dumb with silence, I held my peace, even from good ; and my sorrow was stirred.

My heart was hot within me ; while I was musing the fire burned : then spake I with my tongue, Lord, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is ; that I may know how frail I am. Behold, thou hast made my days as a handbreadth ; and mine age is as nothing before thee : verily every man at his best state is altogether vanity. Surely every man walketh in a vain show : surely they are disquieted in vain : he heapeth up riches, and knoweth not who shall gather them. And now, Lord, what wait I for ? my hope is in thee. Deliver me from all my transgressions : make me not the reproach of the foolish. I was dumb, I opened not my mouth ; because thou didst it. Remove thy stroke away from me : I am consumed by the blow of thine hand. When thou with rebukes dost correct man for iniquity, thou makest his beauty to consume away like a moth : surely every man is vanity. Hear my prayer, O Lord, and give ear unto my cry ; hold not thy peace at my tears : for I am a stranger with thee, and a sojourner, as all my fathers were. O spare me, that I may recover strength, before I go hence, and be no more. — Ps. jg : 1-13*

Is there not an appointed time to man upon earth ? are not his days also like the days of a hireling ? As a servant earnestly desireth the shadow, and as a hireling looketh for the reward of his work ; So am I made to possess months of vanity, and wearisome nights are appointed to me. When I lie down, I say, When shall I arise, and the night be gone ? and I am full of tossings to and fro unto the dawning of the day. My flesh is clothed with worms and clods of dust ; my skin is broken, and become loathsome. My days are swifter than a weaver' s shuttle, and are spent without hope. O remember that my life is wind : mine eye shall no more see good. The eye of him that hath seen me shall see me no more ; thine eyes are upon me, and I am not. As the cloud is consumed and vanisheth away ; so he that goeth down to the grave shall come up no more. He shall return no more to his house, neither shall his place know him any more. Therefore I will not refrain my mouth ; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit ; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul. — Job 7 : /-//.

For all our days are passed away in thy wrath : we spend our years as a tale that is told. The days of our years are threescore years and ten ; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow ; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away. Who knoweth the power of thine anger ? even according to thy fear, so is thy wrath. So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. Return, O Lord, how long ? and let it repent thee concerning thy servants. O satisfy us early with thy mercy ; that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. Make us glad according to the days wherein thou hast afflicted us, and the years wherein we have seen evil. — Ps. go : 9-15.

CERTAINTY.

BE still, and know that I am God. — Ps. 46 : 10. Lord, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is ; that I may know how frail I am. — Ps.

39 .* 4-

For I know that thou wilt bring me to death, and to the house appointed for all living. — Job 30 : 23.

I am the good Shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine. As the Father knoweth me, even so know I the Father : and I lay down my life for the sheep. — John 10 : 14, 13.

For I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day. — 2 Tim. 1 : 12.

I know that my Redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth : And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God : Whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another ; though my reins be consumed within me. — Job ig : 25-27.

For we know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, an house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed upon with our house which is from heaven : If so be that being clothed we shall not be found naked. For we that are in this tabernacle do groan, being burdened : not for that we would be unclothed, but clothed upon, that mortality might be swallowed up of life. Now he that hath wrought us for the selfsame thing is God, who also hath given unto us the earnest of the Spirit. Therefore we are always confident, knowing that, whilst we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord : (For we walk by faith, not by sight :) We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord. — 2 Cor. 5 : i-S.

But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him. For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep. For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God : and the dead in Christ shall rise first : Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air : and so shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words. — / Thess. 4 : 13-18.

VICTORY.

ALWAYS bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. So then death worketh in us, but life in you. We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I believed, and therefore have I spoken ; we also believe, and therefore speak ; knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you. For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God. For which cause we faint not ; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory ; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen : for the things which are seen are temporal ; but the things which are not seen are eternal. — 2 Cor. 4 : 10-18.