The way of faith illustrated: autobiography of Hü Yong Mi of the China Mission Conference

CHAPTER I. Birth and Early Years

Birth and Ancestry — Brothers and Sisters — Card-playing — Fear of the the Results of Gambling — Divination with Bamboo-slips — Clerk in an Opium-shop — Keeping a Picture-store — Helped by the Holy Spirit, PAGE 7

CHAPTER II. Youthful Habits

Youthful Habits — Meditative and Studious — Buddhist and Tauist Ideas of Heaven and Hell — Troubled about Death and the Future — Fear of Evil Spirits — Resort to the God called " Municipal Guardian " — Also to the " Dragon King" — Rats invade, the "Great King" — His Parents seek the Protection of Idols — Finds the New Testament — Ignorant of the Power and Dove of Jesus — His Father declaims against Idolatry, 15

CHAPTER HI.

Mental Struggles.

P6 Mi Visits a Christian Chapel — Discussion Between the Two Brothers — Ancestral Worship and Filial Piety — The True Object of Worship — Mental Struggles — "Heaven's Book " — Christ commended — Yong Mi runs away from his Brother's Argument, 27

CHAPTER IV. Missionary Influence

Missionaries pray with the Sick Father — Yong Mi pleads with the Goddess of Mercy for Help— First Visit to a Christian Church — Good Impressions — Decides to be a Christian — A Happy Household — Destroys his Idol Pictures — Preaches his First Sermon, 34

4 CONTENTS.

CHAPTER V. Christian Life

First Joyous Christian Experiences — Learns from Dr. Maclay to Study the Bible on his Knees— Grows in Knowledge of the Scriptures — Longing for Purity — Struggle with Remaining Sin — Plans for Holy Living—Self-examination — Despondent Feelings -His Father's Death — Assurance of Pardon — Joys of Salvation, . . . Page 40

CHAPTER VI. A Lay Preacher

Prosperous as a Picture-painter — Lay Preaching — Persecution — Cheng Mi's Difficulties in Trying to be a Christian — Violent Opposition of Kin Taik's Mother — Kin Taik Baptized— Yong Mi goes with Dr. Gibson to Preach, 54

CHAPTER VII. Itinerating as a Preacher

Itinerating in Country Villages — Regularly appointed as a Preacher — Dr. Gibson's Prayer and its Answer — His Wife consents to an Itinerant's Life — Appointed to Teng Kan — The Rev. William Burns— His Lovely Character — His Great Influence, 68

CHAPTER VIII. Circuit Preaching

Appointed to Ngu Kang — Sorrowful Parting — Studying the Bible with Mr. Burns— Humble View of his Own (jualifications — Interested Listeners — Circuit Preaching — A Welcome Rain- The " Spirit's Table" — Increasing Membership — Church Building — Tribute to Dr. Gibson — Chapel built at Kwi Hung — Li Yu' Mi becomes a Preacher Enemies Full of Devices — Sickness — Visit to Ing Hok — Cheng Mi suspended on a Tree — Quaint Advice to an Unkempt Wood-cutter — Reflections, 78

CHAPTER IX. Results of Preaching

Preaching at Ching Sing Tong — Attentive Audiences — Conversions — Divisions among Christians — Inquirers from Teng Yong — A Plain Exhortation — Death of a Convert — A Strange Dream — Idolatrous Relatives make Trouble — A Christian Funeral is held, 98

CONTENTS. 5

CHAPTER X. Persecutions

Appointed to East Street with Rev. Mr. Martin — A Serious Riot — Chapel and Mission Residence looted — Yong Mi and his Family roughly handled— Escape after Great Danger — Rioters arrested, but released — Yong Mi kept in Peace — Friends raised up in Time of Need — An Indemnity Fund proves a Test of Character — A New Chapel built — Death of Rev. Mr. Martin— Demoniacal Possessions — Comforting Experience at a Communion Service — Death of a Daughter — Illness and Recovery of King Eng — Words of Bishop Thomson, Page 106

CHAPTER XL

AT Ming Chiang.

Appointed to Ming Chiang — Great Curiosity among the People—Wong Kin Mi assists in Preaching — Mercenary Inquirers make Trouble — Feud between Clans reconciled — Slanderous Reports awaken the Hostility of the Literati — Courteous Treatment disarms Them — Itinerating through the District— His Young Son preaches — Traveling under Difficulty — An Uncomfortable Inn— Privations and Deliverances, 124

CHAPTER XII. Struggles

Spiritual Longings — Struggles — Agony — Buffetings of Satan — Deliverance, 136

CHAPTER XIII. Appointed Presiding Elder

x\ppointed Presiding Elder — Spiritual Conflicts — Interview with a Backslider — Great Victory — Pleading for an Audible Voice — A Human Angel — Rapturous Experiences — Great Flood — Dangerous Traveling — Gratitude for Deliverance, 145

CHAPTER XIV. Kucheng District

Presiding Elder of Kucheng District— Troubles among the Members — Itinerating in Country Villages — Bishop Wiley Visits Kucheng— Rev. D. W. Chandler— Chapel Build-

6 CONTENTS.

iug — Answers to Prayer — A Remarkable Picture — Serious Illness of a Son — Restoration to Health — Persecution — Appeal to the Civil Power or Prayer, Page 154

CHAPTER XV. Fruits of Labor

Conversion of a Vagabond — He becomes a Zealous Christian Worker — Idolatrous Processions a Heavy Burden to the People — Argument with Village Elders — Tiong Lung's Firmness and Victor}- — A Great Drouth — YongMi and the Christians pray for Rain — A Heavy Shower falls, 169

CHAPTER XVI. Victories Won

Detention at Chiong Hu Pwang — An Old Man's Strange Story — His Remarkable Experiences — Troubles at Vong Ping — Fasting and Prayer Conquer — The Yamen becomes a Preaching-place — Malicious Reports — Chapel attacked — Victory without Carnal Weapons — God's Hand recognized, 182

CHAPTER XVII. Hok Chiang District

A Vision — Transferred from Kucheng to Hok Chiang — The Chapel not a very Pleasant Abode — Gladly received by the Members — Christians Disposed to Resort to Officials against Persecutors — Yong Mi teaches a Better Way — Earnest Prayer — " Line upon Line, Precept upon Precept" — In Danger at Sea— Demoniacal Possessions — Progress— Prayers for Rain, 197

Conclusion

Efforts to teach Sanitary Truth — His Mother's Sickness—Her Son ministers to Her — Bishop Bowman and the Conference attend the Funeral — More Troubles — Faithful Dealing — Lost Baggage — Patient Waiting — General Summary of the Condition of the Hok Chiang District — Bishop Merrill— The Hing-hwa District — Various Trials — How the Autobiography came to be Written — Conclusion, 219

Last Years of Hii Yong Mi, 251

The Way of Faith Illustrated.

Chapter I. Birth, And Early Years

IHU YONG MI, was born in the year of our y Lord, 1837, at Yon-tau, in the Ming District, in the prefecture of Foochow. My grandfather was a fortune-teller, soothsayer, and astrologer of wide reputation, and was frequently consulted by officials. My father did not wish to follow his father's business — preferring a military life. He became an officer, and commanded a force whose business it was to patrol the streets at night and keep order. He frequently had the settlement of neighborhood troubles. His name was well known and respected far and near. Although the fortune of the house was very fair, he always dressed in plain cotton garments, and thus won the sobriquet, " Pank-ie," or "Officer Plain-clothes." In the time of the Tai-ping rebellion, when the local vagabonds of every place rebelled, he was appointed chief of a band organized to pro-

HU YONG MI.

tect the surrounding villages. When peace was established he was titled, "Officer of the Fifth Rank."

My mother,* whose maiden name was Ho, was familiarly called "Pwo-na," or "Mother Plain-clothes." She was hospitable to neighbors and relations, ever glad to minister help and succor to the poor and desolate.

Of us children there were seven brothers and two sisters. The eldest brother, Po-Mi, was a son of my father's first wife, whose maiden surname was Li, and who died early. PS-Mi, entered the army and became captain of one hundred men. I, Yong Mi (named by my parents "Chiong," or " a fountain"), was the second son.

I received license to preach in r86o, and was received on trial in the Vermont Conference, United States, in 1863.

The third brother was Sing-Mi. Through grace unspeakable, my elder and younger brother, with myself, were, in 1869, ordained by Bishop Kingsley to deacons' orders, P6-Mi and I also to elders' orders. I, with my parents and others, had been baptized by Rev. R. S. Maclay and Rev. Otis Gibson, at the Church of the True God, Ching Sing Tong, on the sev-

:s A widow with one son at the time of her marriage to Yong Mi.

BIRTH, AND EARLY YEARS. 9

enteenth day of the third month, eighth year of Hien Feng (1858).

My brothers and sisters afterward were all baptized with their families, and all joined the Methodist Episcopal Church.

A stepbrother, my mother's son, was profligate. He opened several wine-shops, and squandered all the capital in opium and other forms of dissipation. He died young.

During the rebellion, flights from place to place, and pecuniary losses incident thereto, reduced our property until the family became poor. At this time I was in my seventeenth year. For a while I stopped study, my father requiring me to attend the wine-shop of my stepbrother, in order to watch and guard his conduct.

This was the first of my leaving home. I encountered great dangers and temptations. At the shop I acquired a taste for wine, but fortunately did not become addicted to it.

The brother was frequently out all night. To deceive me he reported that he went to learn military science. I followed him secretly, and ascertained that he went with dissolute companions to flowery streets and pleasure lanes.

He and his companions tried to tempt me to join them, thinking that if I did so I would jiot

IO HU YONG ML

dare to inform my parents against him ; but I warned him.

My teacher had a friend whose mother died. My father ordered me to go to the friend's house to condole with the family and pay reverence to the deceased. There many friends and relatives were assembled, who knew me as a youth good at card-playing. They were glad to see me, and invited me to a game of cards to relieve the tedium of mourning. I declined. They referred to my teacher, who persuaded me, for the sake of the entertainment of the guest, to play.

From noon till night I won every game. All the company in turn lost, I alone won. All were surprised, but I was alarmed. I never played again. From childhood I had often heard the proverb:

" Learn to gamble, you may be three years rich ; Afterward losing, off go your blouse and trousers !"*

I feared poverty, and determined never again to gamble.

* That is, the gambler may prosper temporarily, but he must eventually pawn his clothes to pay his debts.

BIRTH, AND EARLY YEARS. 1 1

One time a cousin in our house was very desirous of drawing a lottery prize. For the purpose of determining what character she should draw to win, she brought many idols to the house, and night after night consulted them through those by whom the spirit of the idol was supposed to communicate; and she called dream interpreters to her aid, and diviners with twigs,* and sought, by bamboo-slips shaken before the images, an answer from the gods. Withal, following the instructions and trying again and again, she drew no prize.

I saw that our friends were disappointed and troubled. I went myself before the image of the Goddess of Mercy, whom I was always fond of worshiping, and reached my hands to the bamboo urn within which were thirty-six slips, with characters engraved thereon. I revolved the bamboo-slips, then drew one forth and said to my cousin, " Take this and win." No one credited me. Some said: "Presumptuous! You have burned no incense, offered no propitiatory sacrifices, only with your hands extracted the bamboo. We will not trust your divination." I returned the bamboo to the men, and a second time revolved the urn, and again drew forth the same charactered slip; likewise a third time.

*A forked twig, preferably of margosa or willow, is held lightly by the fingers in a dish of sand and allowed to write as it will — the Chinese form of planchette.

All regarded it as strange, but had no faith in it. I essayed the character drawn, at the lottery, and gained a considerable prize. Then all the friends repented ; for no one of them had won.

In my mind I determined not to repeat the experiment. The prize-money I spent buying good incense, flowers, candles, and food, which I presented to the Goddess of Mercy. I was then about eighteen years of age.

A relative, who was connected with the viceroy's yamen, had an opium-shop and wished to engage some one to take charge of his business and superintend his domestic affairs. He consulted my father, who wished me to accept the situation. I was very reluctant, but my father counseled me to take the place temporarily. He feared that I was too much immersed in solitude, and desired that I should learn something of the business and social customs of the outside world.

An engagement was therefore made for a specified time, and I went to the house of my relative, the opium-dealer. He treated me with much consideration and kindness. He intrusted all the affairs of his house and his shop to my control. He hoped to secure my services permanently; but I told him that as soon as the term of engagement expired I would go home. I was not happy. Each day seemed

BIRTH, AND EARLY YEARS. 13

like a year. I longed for the^end, remembering the proverb :

If & J* * W M & &

Ning ko ching ki, pok ko chok pan:

"Better unsullied to famish than with impurity to he full fed."

I was about six months at the place, but never touched opium. The pipe never came to my mouth.

I then returned home to study and practice drawing. I sold a few poor pictures and thereby helped the family a little.

After a year I opened a picture-shop. My drawings were like crow's tracks, with dashes of red for flowers, that were like nothing known. Still, oddly enough, there were people to buy, and I made money.

A company of young men, a hundred or more, soon began to make my shop a rendezvous. For a time I associated with them, till I discovered that they met to learn fighting, wrestling, theatricals, and wine-bibbing, and wanted me to join their company. Then gradually I separated from them.

Sin was like a river — danger everywhere I looked or walked. I was not wise as a young man, and was still in this world's darkness.

Satan used many baits to catch me. I knew, after embracing the Christian faith, that I had escaped out of many temptations, because the Spirit of God had early been with me. He had guided me and helped me. He had outstretched his saving arm to assist me out of all pitfalls. Had it not been so, I should have entered the dark region* ere ever I heard the gospel preached. I know truly that from before my entrance into the world the grace of God has protected me, even to the present.

Praise to Jehovah for the evidence that, from ancient times, he has cared tenderly for our China!

That is, gone to perdition.

Chapter II. Youthful Habits

A FEW words about my habits and disposition in youth. I was inclined to be quiet and meditative. I seldom spoke. I had much regard for propriety of deportment; was very careful about my apparel, my carriage in walking, my manner of sitting. People considered me rather stupid. Many friends were anxious about me on this account. The years between six and seventeen were spent in study. Afterward I went into business, as narrated before. It was a pleasure to me to resort to hill-tops and shady retreats to contemplate the works of nature. I studied the Buddhist classics; was a vegetarian — ten days.

I loved to think about the heavenly mansion. This was before I learned Christian doctrine. Buddhists and Tauists teach of heaven, but differently from Christians. The Buddhists say that heaven is above — among the clouds — where spirits move; that it is very quiet, very pure. Their heaven has three degrees — the lowest the grosser, the highest the pure. Their hell has eighteen departments. The Tauists have many heavens and many orders of spirits. They teach that an elixir made from herbs of the mountains has power to confer immortality.

I thought much about the elixir of immortality, for which men seek the herbs in holy mountains. I worshiped heaven and earth, Buddha, and many gods. People called me very devout. Nevertheless my heart was perturbed beyond expression. I was greatly afraid of devils, and troubled about spirits. I dwelt upon the thought: " In a little while my parents will die; I shall die; we shall be buried in the ground at the foot of the hill, our bodies given to worms, our spirits perhaps become the associates of hawks."* This was very distressing to contemplate, yet inevitable.

I also heard it said that when men died, their souls were dragged by wicked spirits into a region of darkness {ing kang, hades), where they must pass through ten departments for judgment, and suffer much punishment and torture. The place was depicted as very dark, and terribly cold. Spirits agonized with cold. To ponder these things -chilled my heart. Day and night, in secret, I shed tears. At night, wherever I went, I feared evil spirits.

Then I heard some say that there was a way

* Hawks are supposed to call a man's spirits away. It is very alarming for a sick person to hear the cry of the hawk.

to escape these terrors and death itself. One must strictly observe forty-nine consecutive keng-sing* days, without once failing. During that day he must remain in a secluded place, discard all business, keep the mind quiet, think of nothing. Though many devils come to tempt, as they will, and try to frighten, even making it appear as if fire were about to consume him, he must be unmoved, and preserve perfect tranquillity in spite of all. When he has thus kept forty-nine consecutive keng-sing days, he will triumph over all wicked spirits, for they will flee from him in fear. He can metamorphose his own body into wood, or fire, or water; can pass invisible through space; can become immortal ; for he knows how to make the elixir, and can dwell at will in the spirit-world or in the world of men.

I was very desirous to learn more of these doctrines. How should I keep the keng-sing days, how concoct the elixir? There was no one to teach me. No books could I find to make the subject clear.

* Sixty cyclical days, named by the combination of one character in a group of ten (" ten stems ") with one character in a group of twelve ("twelve branches"). Good authority states that the Chinese have thus designated days since the twenty-seventh century B. C. The years have been designated in like manner for about twenty centuries only.

One day I heard it said that sometimes at the Municipal Guardian * Temple in the city, living immortality came forth (that is, an immortal f revealed himself in animate form), appearing at one time as an animal, at another in the form of iridescent light. Rejoiced, I treasured the news in my heart. The next morning, at early dawn, I went into the city to the temple, and prayed to Siang Hwong, the idol: "Show me this living immortality ! Where is it, that I may attain to it?" Then I made salutations, and shook

■Siang Hwong, a Tauist deity.

tThe principal immortals of Tanist legends are eight: i. Chung-li K'iian, the chief and oldest, dating from several centuries before Christ, and represented to have appeared from time to time as a messenger of heaven.

2. Chang Kwoh, A. D., seventh century.

3. Lii Tung-pin, born A. I). 755. Temples were erected to his honor in the twelfth century.

4. Ts'ao Kwoh-k'iu flourished in the eleventh century.

5. Li T'ich-kwai dates from a remote period. He was originally of fine stature ; but once having been absent seven days on a visit to the heavenly world, on returning the spirit found its body devitalized, and entered the body of a crippled beggar just deceased, in which tenement Li T'ich-kwai continued his terrestrial existence.

6. Hau Siang-tsze, ninth century.

7. Lau Tsai Ho. Sex and time uncertain ; generally supposed to be a woman.

8. Ho Sien-ku. A maiden born near Canton, seventh century. At the age of fourteen she achieved immortality by eating powder of mother-of-pearl, as directed by a spirit in a dream. The legend says that in one of her reappearances she rode a brightly-colored cloud.

the urn of lots, and drew forth the number one. A good omen. Attendants in the temple, seeing that I had drawn number one, and appeared to be a student, congratulated me, saying: "This year you will attain the degree of Siu-tsai," (A. B.) These words I doubted exceedingly, and went away disconsolate.

Again I heard that in a Tauist temple on Black Rock Hill was one " Dragon-king, Heavenly-prince,"* who guarded the gate of heaven. "He," I thought, "must know the way to heaven. I will beseech him to guide me." Again I rose early, bathed, changed my apparel, sought the temple, and supplicated the idol : " Lead me with you to the heavenly mansion!" Thus I implored from early morn till noon without ceasing, but saw not the least sign, heard not the least sound in response. There was no help. Grieved and perplexed I returned home. I verily believed that the indwelling spirit in the idol could manifest itself, and let my eyes see or ears hear a sign indicating how to pursue the heavenly way. Afterward I reflected that I had been rash ; I, so insignificant, to appeal to so honorable a god ! Hence my prayers had not been granted. I must first pay devotion to a god in my own neighborhood,

* Wong L,ung Kmang T'ieng-kung. Represented by an image with three eyes.

and seek guidance from him. I went to the Great-king* in our neighborhood and worshiped frequently. On Tai-wong's birthday, and at the time of the lantern festival,! I attended upon him, changed his clothes, and spread feasts before him.

Once as I was changing the idol's clothes I was seized with sudden consternation. What was the cause? A great rat which jumped out of Tai-wong's body and ran away. Approaching again, and examining closely, I discovered that the garments, and even the beard of the idol, had been gnawed by the rat. I was very angry. Audacious rat! to enter the sacred person of Tai-wong, to nest therein, to nibble his clothing, even his beard. I wished to seize the offender, to wreak just vengeance upon it, even death. Ah! foolish, very foolish I! After becoming a disciple of Christ I comprehended that these had all been false, empty imaginings.

Once, in a gathering of Christians, the subject turning upon idols; I rehearsed the episode of the rat in the form of verse:

Compared to those who serve false god, Rats far more cunning are and wise ;

They know the use the god will serve, And house them safe beneath his eyes.

* Tai-wong, a deity of the Tauists, who ranks as constable of a ward.

tThe feast of lanterns occurs in the first month annually, from the nth to the 15th days.

They boldly mount the " Great King's" head,

Rapacious gnaw the sacred beard. For treatment so irreverent,

What punishment might not be feared ?

Small devils all, and nightly guards,

Beholding, dazed, expect to see, Affrighted by some dire portent,

On flying feet the invaders flee.

They look, and astonishment grows on their faces ;

There remaineth a subject to chatter about ; The marauders are safe in their usurped places ;

For Tai-wong has a hand which he can not stretch out.

I employed many methods, but all were ineffectual to attain what I desired. My mind was distracted. Several times I was very ill, in delirium, seeing nothing but spirits about me. As the saying is, " Three days wind, four days rain;" I was a few days well, a few days ill.

Thus I grew up to manhood. My parents were oftentimes greatly concerned about my state, physical and mental. They went everywhere consulting idols. For my benefit they had performed the ceremony of "passing through the door."* At another time they secured for me "ten protectors,"! and were at incalculable trouble and much expense on my account.

* See Doolittle's " Social Life of the Chinese," for a description of the ceremony of " passing through the door."

t A form of life insurance by proxy. Ten men at a temple, in presence of the god, vow to spare, each, one or two years of his own life, the sum total of the years so dedicated to be added to those allotted the suppliant.

Up to sixteen years of age I was put under the care of No-na (the "Mother" Goddess), after that of other gods. One day, when convalescent, I sat up-stairs alone, depressed in spirit, my head on my hands, musing. My eyes chanced to rest on my father's bookcase, where were many books which I had never examined.

A sudden inspiration seized me. Here, right at hand, may be the book which will teach me how to keep the forty-nine days, and how to procure the elixir of life (while my search has been far away). The thought gave me new buoyancy ; and, very happy, I arose and went to the case to search for such a book.

My glance passed hastily over the books which I had read, and which were familiar to me, and rested upon a lot which I had not read. They were volumes of the Old and New Testaments. My father had obtained them from Rev. Mr. Maclay, who preached in the neighborhood, and with whom he was well acquainted. The first that I opened was a New Testament. Eagerly I scanned its pages. Alas ! I could not read understanding^ a word. (It was in colloquial character, which style was introduced by missionaries ; something like phonetic spelling to English readers.) Turning over leaf after leaf, one name alone was conspicuous on every page ;

and nothing else could I see but the name Ya-su, Ya-su, (Jesus, Jesus.)

I was disappointed and angry ; and in a sudden passion of rage I tore the book to pieces, threw the fragments on the floor, and, not satisfied with destroying the book, I wished for some sharp implement by which I might expunge the hated name Ya-su, which stared at me from the mutilated pages. In my heart, I chided my father for having so many books of this sort. Why fill the house with the literature of the Christian sect? What use or reason in it?

Later, on my coming to a knowledge of the doctrine of Christ, I recognized that in this action had been fulfilled the words of the Psalmist, " They hated me without a cause." I also thought, with such a disposition, the crowd about the cross had cried out, "Crucify him! crucify him !"

Was I not, indeed, in the same category with them?

Alas! a sinner, I knew not that He who, in the beginning, created man, heaven, earth, and all things ; who dwells with the Supreme God ; who is the way of eternal life, — this one, become man, was this same Jesus.

He who alone, for our sake, descended from heaven, sacrificed his body and shed his blood to redeem us from sin and save us from everlasting death, who commissioned us to attain everlasting life, in endless joy to roam the heavenly plains, — was this Jesus.

He who corresponded exactly to that for which I had so imploringly longed, so hungered and thirsted, whose salvation I had craved, — was Jesus.

Him, the source of my life, my ladder of ascent to heaven, my true righteousness, — why knew I not to love and reverence him ; to draw near to him, instead of piercing and rejecting him in anger?

My conception is that the cause was Satan dwelling within me; that I myself was under the control of the devil. Therefore, at that time, if I but heard or saw the name of Jesus, without cause or reason, immediately I loathed, rejected, feared, and hated him.

(This is common, a hatred of the name of Jesus among those who know nothing of his doctrines.)

Alas! I was blind and ignorant. But, verily, the merciful, compassionate, humanely-loving Savior, the Lord Jesus, came early to save me, to comfort, to guide me.

Ah me ! my sin was exceeding great — exceeding lamentable. Subsequently, I often heard my father, discoursing with friends, say that idols were mere images of clay and wood, unintelligent, untrustworthy. Moreover, all who worshiped them sinned against God, the Lord of heaven. They were, for example, like children who for nurture received from their parents should return them no thanks, but accord all their merit to another. Was not this wrong?

My father also said : " Christianity is good. I myself am so pressed by business affairs that I have not time to investigate the doctrine, and fear I should practice imperfectly. I advise you all, friends, to begin before me to be Christians."

The idea which friends formed, at this time, was that Christianity comprehends influence, wealth, salvation ; thinking only of temporal relations, they fathomed not the depths of spiritual meaning therein. When I heard imageworship accounted sinful, and heard the various remarks made by our friends, I revolted, and felt humiliated. Over it all, I groaned. 3

Chapter III. Mental Struggles

SOME time about the year 1857 my older brother, P6 Mi, who had been engaged in military operations in distant parts of the province, came home victorious. Many friends came together to congratulate him and make merry. Not long after, a neighbor came to me privately, and whispered :