Memoirs of Angeline B. Sears, Mrs., with extracts from her correspondence

Preface

In preparing the following Memoir, the writer does not forget that the world is filled with books — that copious supplies of thought and sentiment, of fact and fiction, are flowing from the press. Nor is it overlooked, that satiety may render even useful books insipid, so that the full soul shall turn away from them to its own musings, and seek to draw from nature the lessons which it can no longer endure to take second-hand from the copyist. Yet the press will continue to be employed, and novelists will do their part to keep it busy. And shall no more sober books be written? Is there no hope that truth may yet supplant error, and living realities, rather than wild, and even profane fictions, come to be used for edification and entertainment? Shall mere tales continue to engross the public taste, and be studied as the means of instruction in virtue, and even in religion? Must admirable characters and examples of piety come before us i

PREFACE.

the mere creations of fancy; and Truth stand aside, that Fable may teach wisdom and train mankind to goodness ?

The object of this little volume is truthfully to exhibit character under the control of divine grace, to hold up before the Christian public, in unexaggerated light, a sinner saved "to the uttermost, " and, as far as may be, to trace the process by which she was brought to that maturity of the Christian life which secured so glorious a victory in death; for the object of Christian biography should be, not to palliate the faults of human nature, but to exemplify that grace of God which, received by faith, subdues and reigns gloriously over them — to illustrate how omnipotent grace can

" Into a saint exalt a worm — A worm exalt to God."

We shall strive to keep this in view, while we attempt to sketch the character of her, who, could she speak from heaven, would say, "Be sure not to exalt me, but the grace of God. Show the world that I am 'a sinner saved by grace' "

Chapter I

Early life — Characteristics — Diary — Sketch from memory— Acknowledgment of Divine goodness — Special providences— Brother drowned — Parents converted — Her mother Page 9

Chapter II

First convictions — Presbyterian camp meeting — Labors of a friend — Goes to the anxious seat — Methodist camp meeting — Convictions deepened— Joins the Church as a seeker — Temptations at school — Vacillations — Cholera— Domestic responsibilities 16

Chapter III

Her father's second marriage — Her step-mother — Letter — Goes to Philadelphia — Letter from her father— Her school — Death of her sister — Return home — World ensnares her — Church membership — Its salutary influence — Conversation on Church membership 24

Chapter IV

New acquaintances — Deeper convictions — Visit to a friend — Hester Ann Rogers — Conversion — Change in deportment — Her mother's letter — Choice of friends — Benevolence — Reading — Conflicts — Perseverance in duty — An invalid 37

Chapter VIII

Commencement of itinerancy — Fidelity — Attachment to the work — Residence at Vienna— Revival — Visit to Cincinnati — Letters to her husband — Sabbath traveling — Residence at Pen Yan — Letters to her mother — To her sister — To Mrs. Rev. C. Brooks — Transfer to Ohio conference... 84

Chapter IX

Removal to Portsmouth, O. — Self-consecration — Visit — Letters—To Mrs. H To her mother— The sick— Dying triumphs —

Nelson on infidelity— Letters to Mrs. H .104

Chapter X

Appointment to Richmondale — Trials of moving — Prevailing sickness— Self-accusation— Sanctified affliction— Letters— To Mrs. H— To her mother— To her father— To Mrs. H Mrs. Taylor 123

Chapter XI

New Richmond circuit — Illness and danger — Partial recovery — Revival — Hastens to the scene — Exposure and consequent illness — Detained by the flood — Returns to her father's alarmingly ill — Recapitulation — Peace in believing — Entire sanctification 147

Chapter XII

Diary — Recognition of mercies — Letter to Mrs. L Diary —

Visit of friends — Letters to her husband — Temptations — Feebleness • •* 161

Chapter XIII

Change in experience — Diary — Attends church — Increased feebleness — Departure of friends — Diary — Temptations — Letters — To Mrs. H.— To her husband— To Mrs. Rev. C. B 177

CONTENTS.

Chapter XIV

Visit to Oxford— Letter to Mrs. H.— Increase of faith— Journey — Steady decline — Return — Letter to Mrs. H. — Goes to Brownsville, Pa. — Letters — To her husband — To her father — To Mrs. H. — Hope of recovery abandoned — A vietory — Returns home Page 201

Chapter XV

First interview — Remarkable change — Sacrament of the Lord's supper — Disposition of her wardrobe — Conversations — Entire resignation — Life of faith — A baptism — Temptation — Deliverance — Arrival of a friend — Answer to prayer — Continual triumph — Conversion of a brother-in-law and sister — Sacramental scene — Departure of friends — Conversion of a second sister — Simplicity of faith — Last sister converted — The close 224

Chapter XVI

- Qualifications as a minister's wife— Self-sacrifiee — Love of itinerancy — Regard for those engaged in it— Adaptation to it — Prudence — Discernment of character — Example — Maternal fidelity — Domestic virtues. 264

M E M 01 RS

OF

MBS. AN GEL IN E B. SEARS.

Chapter I

Early life — Characteristics — Diary— Sketch from memory — Acknowledgment of Divine goodness — Special providences — Brother drowned — Parents converted — Her mother.

Mrs. Angeline B. Sears, wife of Rev. C. W. Sears, of the Ohio conference, and daughter of Moses Brooks, Esq., of Cincinnati, 0., was born September 20, 1817. Her early childhood was characterized by uncommon vivacity and quickness of perception, and by an unvarying love of truth. Her father testifies, that he "never knew her to equivocate, or give the least false coloring, to excuse herself or criminate others;" and that, " whenever her young associates differed respecting any fact with which she was acquainted, an appeal to her would always elicit the exact truth."

This portion of her life was marked by several peculiar interpositions of Providence;

a few of which she refers to in her diary. It is, however, much to be regretted that she has not preserved a more minute account of her early history. It appears that she several times began to record the dealings of her heavenly Father, and, for a short period, kept a diary ; but her humble views of herself prevented her continuing it, and, in a season of mental depression, she destroyed most of what she had written.

A little less than one year before her death, at the earnest solicitation of her husband, she wrote a brief sketch from memory, in a blank book, which he had procured for that purpose.

On the first leaf of this book we find the following entry :

"Angeline B. Sears.

"From my dear husband, with the request that I use its pages to record the work of the Lord in my poor heart. February 4, 1848."

On the second leaf is found the following text: "Many, O Lord my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee : if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered" Psalm xl, 5.

MRS. ANGELINE B. SEARS.

II

The diary is preceded by an invocation, and a general acknowledgment of the divine mercy and care, expressed in language which all who intimately knew her will recognize as in unison with her governing train of thought: "Holy Spirit, bring to my remembrance thy gracious dealings with my unworthy soul from my infancy, and help me faithfully to record them here, to the praise of thy unmerited grace !

"From infant days I have been the child of providence— I may say of a peculiar providence — and from my eighth year a child of many prayers : in view of which, at the outset of my record, I thankfully adopt the beautiful lines of the venerable Charles Wesley :

' God of my life, whose gracious power,

Through various deaths my soul hath led, Or turn'd aside the fatal hour, Or lifted up my sinking head !

In all my ways thy hand I own,

Thy ruling providence I see: Assist me still my course to run,

And still direct my paths to thee/

"I would bring to remembrance, that my heavenly Father guards, with peculiar care and love, the smallest of his creatures, as seen by the exercise of his paternal guardianship over me in childhood, in delivering my n life, in imminent peril. When but a few months old, my nurse let me fall into a cellar, where much rubbish and a great number of corks were lying. My head was so bruised with a cork, that an impress was left in it as deep, or nearly so, as half its diameter. Medical aid was resorted to, which, by the blessing of Providence, saved me from great suffering and death.

"When about five or six years old, I was one evening led by older companions to the river, on the bank of which my parents lived. We went out on a raft, at the water's edge, on which I found a tin cup. In trying to dip some water with it out of the stream, I fell in, and should have been drowned, but for my heavenly Father's care, who ordered that in throwing up my hands, when sinking and screaming for help, they struck a log, by which I was enabled to hold fast, until my playmates came to my assistance.

"Some years after, I was one day exercising on horseback, through a short lane, at the end of which stood a small stable, having a very low loft, not much higher than the horse's back. I was unused to equestrian exercises, and exceedingly unskillful in guiding my horse.

MRS. ANGELINE B. SEARS.

When passing by the open door, he turned, and, in spite of my efforts to prevent, was about walking under the loft to a trough, which would have crushed me to death between his back and the timbers above. A friend was near, who had been looking at me, but whose back was at the moment turned. As I screamed in affright, he ran to my aid, and succeeded in seizing the bridle of my horse, just in time to deliver me from my danger.

" In later years, when convicted by the Holy Spirit, while the burden of sin was heavy upon me, and my dark soul ignorant of the means of relief, I frequently lamented that my life had been preserved through these dangers, as most of them occurred before I had reached, as I supposed, the years of accountability. But He whose ways are not as our ways, chose to preserve me, and guide me by his grace and Spirit, and show me that the end of my being is to glorify him, and to exalt his name.

"A peculiar providence was also used as the means of the conversion of my parents, about my eighth year; namely, the loss of an interesting little son, remarkable for sprightliness of mind and a noble generosity of soul. He was drowned in the Ohio river, in his sixth year — a severe dispensation, but which the Lord used to bring my parents to a knowledge of their condition as sinners, and lead them to himself. Soon after this they both became members of the Methodist Episcopal Church — a Church against which my mother had entertained great prejudice, having always esteemed them a disorderly, fanatical people. But with her conversion the Lord stripped her of her prejudice, and she became an active, zealous, faithful member, entertaining a warm love for the humblest of his children, and abounding in faith and good works, until her triumphant entry into the everlasting ' city of her God.'

" My mother ! — -truly, she was rightly named when she was called a ' Christian/ for she was like Christ — like him, was characterized by a meek, patient, quiet spirit. Under all circumstances, perplexities, and afflictions, she was enabled by grace to say, 'Not my will but thine be done.' Like him she 'went about doing good' For every tale of sorrow she had an ear, and for the weary relief. The sick and the poor engrossed her special sympathy, when not attending to the claims of her family. Furthermore, her secret chamber was the sanctuary where the Lord revealed the most of the glory of his presence to her soul.

"One or two incidents, which made a deep impression on my young heart, I distinctly remember. One night, about eleven o'clock, the family were aroused by the low but rapturous shouts of my mother, as she passed from one apartment to another, uttering the praises of her Savior. She had remained up, after my father and other members of the family had retired, for purposes of devotion. In reading and prayer she was so baptized with the Spirit, that she could not forbear sounding aloud the love of Jesus. After this it was not uncommon for her to be so visited and filled with his love, that when she came from her closet, her countenance seemed illuminated as though a radiance were transferred from the face of Christ to her own, and her hps sounded forth his praise.

"During her decline, her mind was kept in perfect peace, stayed upon the Lord — feeding in silence upon the bread of life. About one hour before her death, when the family and friends saw that her departure was nigh, and were gathering around her bed, she exclaimed, * 0 praise the Lord ! Why do you not all praise him ! 0 why do you not all praise the Lord f seeming surprised at the silence of those around her. She continued to praise till her strength failed, and her voice grew feeble. She then raised her hands, moistened already with the cold sweat of death, and clasped them in token of triumph. But words cannot describe the scene. Her countenance beamed with unearthly radiance as floods of light from the Sun of righteousness poured into her soul to light her across the vale of death. To her the king of terrors had lost his sting, the grave its gloom. She died May 5th, 1833."

Chapter II

First convictions— Presbyterian camp meeting — Labors of a friend — Goes to the anxious seat — Methodist camp meeting — Convictions deepened — Joins the Church as a seeker — Temptations at school — Vacillations — Cholera — Domestic responsibilities.

In noting the providences that marked her childhood, Mrs. Sears seems to have been particularly arrested by that which led to the conversion of her family ; and, caught away by the remembrance of the pious life and triumphant death of her mother, she intermits her own history, to sketch hers. Had her mother lived, we should, doubtless, have been able to gather many interesting incidents of the daughter's childhood, which none, of course, but a mother could furnish. The diary records, as follows, her early religious impressions :

" I do not know at what period I first felt the influence of the Holy Spirit. I know I was blessed with a tender conscience from my earliest years, which was severely* pained whenever it was violated, and could not be appeased until the violation was confessed and the occasion removed. I remember to have thought much about heaven at the time my little brother was drowned, and to have had a strong persuasion that he was taken thither; and I remember to have tried to console my deeply-afflicted mother with the thought.

" I think my first conviction, as a sinner, of

my need of a Savior, was about my thirteenth

year, through the conversation of a young lady

of the ' Old School I Presbyterian C hurch. That

denomination held a camp meeting near Lane

Seminary, which this friend invited me to attend.

My parents consenting, I did so. During the

progress of the meeting my friend frequently 2 walked in the woods with me, for the purpose of conversing about my soul. I recollect that, in endeavoring to show me the necessity of coming out from the world, and acknowledging Christ, she quoted the following passage, which made a deep impression on my mind : i Whosoever, therefore, shall be ashamed of me and of my words, in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels,' Mark viii, 38. I went once to the.' anxious seat? or what Meth odists term 'the mourner's bench,' but without any special realization of the importance of the act. I left the camp meeting in a serious state of mind, with no adequate convictions, however, of my true condition as a condemned sinner?

The young lady above referred to, in the language of Mrs. Sears' diary, "is now (1848) a Methodist, and has been several years married to a lawyer of Illinois, who is also a member of

the same Church. Her brother, Dr. J. F y,

once our family physician, and a rigid Calvinist, has since become a Methodist minister." Should this narrative meet her eye, how must her heart rejoice to learn the happy issue of the religious concern which she was instrumental in awaken-

MRS. ANGELINE B. SEARS.

ing! Probably Mrs. Sears never wholly lost the convictions she received at the camp meeting; and the impressions thus early made on her mind, by the recital of that solemn text, may have given tone to her whole religious character. All who knew her must have observed how carefully, in her maturer years, she carried out its principles. In language, dress, deportment, indeed, in all her ways, she aimed to acknowledge her Savior, whatever might be her personal perplexities or enjoyments.

"In the morning sow thy seed, and in the evening withhold not thy hand/' is the direction of Him who cannot err — a direction, which, were it obeyed by all professed followers of Christ, would be productive of abundant fruit to his glory. Who would not cheerfully endure the cross of introducing the subject of religion in conversation, and urging its importance on others, if assured that the humble effort would result in the salvation of a soul? But "we know not whether shall prosper either this or that/' and should be content to perform our duty, and leave results to God. The Bible teaches us to be " always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as we know that our labor is not in vain in the Lord." This should inspire our zeal, and encourage us to persevere in efforts to save souls, even when circumstances appear unfavorable. A text from the Bible affectionately urged on the dullest ear, may continue to sound on that ear till it gets a hearing — or lodged in the heart, and long buried there, by the power of the Holy Ghost, it may become "spirit and life;" and in it, "the dead" soul may "hear the voice of the Son of God and live." Reader, wouldst thou pluck souls as brands from the burning? Then let every thing that proceedeth out of thy mouth be "good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace to the hearers." Thus did the youthful but faithful Miss F y; and the history

before us proves that she did not toil for naught.

Continuing her narrative, Mrs. Sears says: " These were my school days ; and on returning to my school duties, I suffered much ridicule from my thoughtless irreligious mates who were at the camp meeting, and knew that I had presented myself at the despised anxious seat. About two months after, the Methodist camp meeting commenced, which my parents favored my attending, and placed me under the care of an old lady, a zealous member of that Church. Here conviction was renewed, and, I think, some-

MRS. ANGrELINE B. SEARS.

what deepened. Through the advice of friends, I placed myself among the seekers of salvation, and as such gave my name to the Church, I think, August 3, 1830.

"I attended the means of grace, especially preaching, class and prayer meetings, and at times was diligent in reading the Bible, and in secret prayer. Sometimes my heart would be very much broken up — tears would flow freely ; and occasionally a gleam of comfort, I knew not of what kind, or wherefore, would possess my heart — perhaps I should rather say my mind. But all these impressions were like the morning cloud and early dew. They passed away with every change of influence and circumstance. My school associations were very unfavorable to the culture of religious feeling;. I think not one of my age in the school I attended was pious, and but few of them had pious parents ; though most of them were moral, church-going people. Then the ambitious emulations cultivated by teachers in the hearts of their pupils, exerted an influence unfriendly to religion. The love of dress and worldly associations was also in me, as in most young persons, very strong — which the Bible, and my mother, and my nursing mothers in Israel, all told me was incompatible with the love of God. So I passed along with a gay heart, or a hard heart, or a broken and somewhat contrite heart, just as surrounding influences conspired to affect it.

" I always entertained great reverence for the ministers of the Gospel, and delighted to oblige them when in my power, from the first whom I remember to have visited my father's house, soon after my parents joined the Church — the Rev. Wm. B. Christie, and Rev. James Callahan : both now before the throne. They were appointed to my father's to lodge during the session of the Ohio conference. I remembered them both ever after with great esteem, and looked upon the chamber they occupied as sacred. The Church bore with me, and retained me, advising and reproving as they saw need.

In 1832, when the cholera scourged our land and our city, conscious that I was without hope in Christ, I became exceedingly alarmed, particularly when news of the death of any of my acquaintances would reach me. At such times I would resort to my room, and read the ninetyfirst Psalm, and then pour out my fears to Him who heareth in secret; and though I was an unregenerate sinner, I believe in every instance,

MRS. ANGELINE B. SEARS.

when I thus prayed, my fears were allayed, and I felt a degree of confidence that my prayer was heard. Myself and my family were preserved from the destroyer. He was not permitted to come nigh our dwelling."

After entering her fourteenth year, in consequence of the sickness and death of her mother, Mrs. Sears was taken from school, and assumed the care of her father's house and her younger sisters ; and she seemed to possess energy suited to the weighty responsibilities of her station, "the duties of which," says her father, "she discharged with self-sacrificing devotion, and with judgment above her years." She patiently confined herself to domestic affairs till her health failed; and so uncomplainingly did she proceed, that her father, engrossed as he was with business, did not discover her danger till she was on the borders of a decline. He says of her at that period: "She did not, at this time, profess to have received remission of her sins; yet her whole manner was changed from thoughtless gayety to the sober contemplation of present duty and future usefulness, and the everlasting welfare of herself and others. By nature her temper was hasty and irritable; yet she was under the influence of restraining grace. The Sun of righteousness had cast his beams into her soul, and given her an enlightened conscience and a quick perception of duty. Her reading had ever been, from choice, of the more profitable kind. She read but one novel, I believe, in her whole life; and the light trash of the day had no fascination for her."

CHAPTER HI.

Her father's second marriage — Her step-mother — Letter — Goes to Philadelphia — Letter from her father — Her school— Death of her sister — Return home — World ensnares her — Church membership — Its salutary influence — Conversation on Church membership.

To Mrs. Sears her father's second marriage, in 1834, was a test of principle. She had imbibed, in a high degree, the prejudice so common against step-mothers. The lady who took the place of her own beloved mother was a stranger to her; but she felt the duty of sacrificing her own feelings and prejudices for the happiness of the family, and she resolved to do it. She received her new mother with open arms, and, after a short acquaintance, with open heart, using every endeavor to render her responsible position pleasant; justly rep-

MRS. ANGELINE B. SEARS.

resenting her among friends as possessing all those excellences which fitted her to supply the place of the departed. She became her step -mother's most affectionate counselor and devoted friend, as will be seen in the following letter from Mrs. Brooks :

"I married and came into the family in 1834. At my first interview with Angeiine, I was much pleased. I found her to be exceedingly modest and retiring in disposition, uniting in her person a degree of sprightliness and beauty which I had seldom met with. She possessed also a maturity of judgment far above her years. In disposition I never saw her equal — so benevolent, so full of sympathy, so kind to all. I found her such a counselor, in the management of my family, as I felt the greatest need of. I know not how I should have got along without her advice. Her prejudice with regard to step-mothers was strong; and, as the eldest of the family, she might have rendered my position extremely unpleasant; but, casting aside all personal feelings of this kind, she endeavored to impress the younger members of the family with correct ideas in regard to their duty as children, and exerted all her influence, which was of course great, in promoting the highest union and love in the family.

" Although a member of the Church, she did not profess religion ; but, from her deportment, and strict attention to religious duties, I regarded her as a pattern of piety. In the spring of 1835 she went to Philadelphia, to attend school. While there, her amiable disposition and deportment secured much friendship and love."

The following is her father's testimony respecting this event and its results :

" Soon after she was released from the cares of my family by my second marriage, I sent her to a celebrated school in Philadelphia, where she mingled with the gay and the giddy, without seeming to imbibe the follies that too often result in greater injury than all the information derived from such boarding schools is worth. And when she had finished her education, as the phrase is, she had really but just commenced it. She continued to devote all the time she could spare to the^ acquisition of useful knowledge, acting on the principle, that where knowledge is a duty ignorance is a crime."

Of her residence in Philadelphia, and the

MRS. AN GE LINE B. SEARS.

influence exerted on her by the school, she has left the following record :

"Here every influence inclined us far, far from Christ and his atonement. Prayers were repeated morning and evening from the Prayer- Book, by the governess, she and all the scholars sitting in their chairs, in a prescribed posture, namely, erect, hands crossed on the lap, and feet placed together, with the toes a little diverging. These rules were to be scrupulously observed. After each young lady was seated, the principal, or governess, glanced round the circle to see that every pupil's position was according- to rule. But, alas! nothing was said about the solemnity or importance of the worship. While we engaged in the form, or a form, the spirit and the truth of worship were forgotten.

"While in this institution, our studies were of the first importance. After school-hours were over, amusements — such as vocal and instrumental music, dancing, novel- reading, chitchat about fashion and etiquette, or a promenade, in company with the governess, in a fashionable public square — filled up, or rather consumed the remaining precious hours of the day. Dancing I never engaged in ; for, though my heart was very far from God, reverence for my parents, especially my departed mother, and for the Church — a certificate of membership in which I still held — forbade my partaking of that amusement; which, with a few other items of conscientiousness — such as reading my Bible, refusing to read novels, or to w T alk in the garden or swing on the Sabbath — gained me the appellation, 'the pious.' The last two were great temptations, after Mrs. S— moved to her country-seat, at Hamilton village. But these were abandoned by several of the young ladies after I left, and, I was informed, through my example; and some of them even resolved to read the Bible instead of novels, at least on the Sabbath.

"Such were the influences with which I was surrounded. I attended Church, with the others, once on Sabbath, listened to a sermon, read without any of the unction of the Holy Ghost attending it, and which made no impression on the heart or mind, except as occasionally some beauty of language would arrest the attention. I was in a Methodist church but once while in Philadelphia, having no one to attend with me. There were several daughters of Methodist parents at the school,