Autobiography of Elder Henry Kendall, with an introduction

Introduction

The following pages contain the memorial of the labors, and sufferings, and Christian experience of one of the pioneers in the Baptist cause in the State of Maine. When this State was yet but a part of Massachusetts, and occupied only by scattered settlements, here and there, at the most advantageous points, it was penetrated by the Baptists of the bordering states, who,gathering strength as they advanced, soon traversed its length and breadth, and preached the gospel at all the principal places. Like all pioneers, these preachers were a race of hardy and enterprising men. Vigorous in body and mind, they cherished a not less vigorous zeal for the cause in which they were engaged. Laboring among pioneers in the settlement of the country, they brought themselves into sympathy with their hearers, by the exhibition of the same bold, decided spirit. They attacked the consciences of men very much as the woodsman attacked the trees. They laid the axe to the root with a vigorous hand, and as blow after blow was dealt home, the forest re-echoed with the sound.

At this distance of time, and after so great improvements in the condition of the country, and of society, it is hardly possible to conceive the difficulties which

INTRODUCTION.

they encountered, and the suffering which they endured. Without public conveyances, or even welldefined roads, they had to track their way, as best they could, through long distances, from settlement to settlement . or penetrate the unbroken forest to some remote logging camp, now, perhaps, the site of a flourishing village. In all these places they sowed the seed of the Word with a liberal hand ; committing it to the waters, confident that it would appear again after many days. And so it did. In these preaching tours of the early fathers, the nucleus of many a church was formed, and Baptist sentiments were widely diffused. The succession of bishops, in a large part of our churches in the State, if traced back but a few steps, ends in these apostolical fathers. Indeed, (to our shame be it said), they founded more churches than the present generation has been able to maintain.

But not only so, the preaching of these primitive evangelists acted powerfully upon the entire religious condition of the State. The old parish system which prevailed in the State, as in Massachusetts, had thoroughly secularized the churches, where any existed, till but few traces of evangelical religion remained. The Baptist elders appearing among these decayed churches were regarded as New Lights, speaking a strange dialect, and teaching strange doctrines. But wherever they went the people flocked around them, some from real interest, and some from curiosity; and as is often the case, those who came to mock frequently

INTRODUCTION". V

returned to pray. The community was thoroughly aroused, revivals followed in their train, and churches of living members were formed in a multitude of places; The early Baptist fathers performed in Maine what Whitfield, Tennent, and Edwards did in many of the other states. They broke the formalism of the old Puritan churches, and revived the fast vanishing doctrine of the new birth.

The publication of a book of so humble pretensions as this, which lays no claim to elegance of style, or literary finish of any kind, may appear to some an impropriety. But I do not deem it thus, Far from it. These early laborers pursued their calling under great disadvantages, and amid many difficulties. We have entered into their labors, and it is good for us to be reminded by whose toils we enjoy our present goodly heritage, and to be stimulated by their example to greater self-denial, and more persevering labors. While, therefore these memorials will be specially grateful to those familar with the scenes and events which they commemorate, they will be interesting and profitable to all.

Besides, recent events exhibit a gratifying interest in the early history of our denomination in this country. Two Baptist Historical Societies, one in Boston, and one in Philadelphia, have recently been formed under very favorable auspices. In this early history, the Maine Chapter* will be found to be one of no common interest. I know of no part of our country where so humble means have accomplished more noble and

1*

VI INTRODUCTION.

enduring results. The pioneers in the cause were few in number and poor in estate, without rank or learning to give them influence, and, altogether such a class of men as few would have thought adequate to so great a work. But they were men of great vigor of body and mind, and some of them of a peculiar nobleness of nature, and more than all, of a truly evangelical zeal. Whatever contributes therefore, like these memoirs, to illustrate their labors, cannot be devoid of interest.

Most of them have passed away from the scenes of €arth. One after another they have been gathered to their fathers, like shocks of corn in their season, without leaving behind them any extended memorial of their lives, except in the recollections of the churches. Among the last is the subject and author of the following memoir, who in the vigor of a green old age, has been able to collect together these memorials of his long and toilsome life, for the incitement and encouragement of those who are to come after him. May they be blessed by the Great Head of the church to the good of coming generations.

Waterville College, June, 1853.

Chapter I. Birth And Early Education

I was born in the town of Sanford, in what was then the District of Maine, on the third day of July, A. D., 1774, in a little hut in the wilderness. My parents were very poor, and the occurrence of the Revolutionary struggle being in the first years of my life was in no respect favorable to any improvement in their circumstances. When I was about five years old, my father made a profession of religion, and soon became a wild fanatic. His subsequent course involved his family in great wretchedness. My mother was extremely kind and prudent ; but sad and broken-hearted. Her sufferings, for many years, were great beyond description. The children of the family were ten in number.

When nearly ten years of age, I went in to live with Capt. S. Hatch, at a place called Maryland Ridge, in the adjoining town of Wells.

Here I was well provided for, and treated with great kindness. Mrs. Hatch was a very pious woman, and a member of Elder Nathaniel Lord's church in Berwick. She was wont to give me a copper for every Hymn I learned out of Watts, and after I had cpmmitted about thirty, her minister, Elder Lord, called to see her, and I was required to stand before him and repeat the thirty Hymns in succession. When I had finished, the old servant laid his hand on my head and pronounced a fervent benediction. At the close of the year I was called home, to the grief of myself and my benefactors. This was the only sunny spot in my childhood.

When I was a little more than twelve years old, my father decided to have a reformation in the family, for some of his children, he thought, had become very wicked. Accordingly, one evening, he commenced with a son and a daughter, one about twenty, the other eighteen years of age. He soon got them down on their knees, praying at the top of their voices. They continued about an hour, my father walking about and telling them how to proceed. All at once they sprang upon their feet, clapping their hands and shouting " Glory to God !" After their zeal had somewhat abated, my father took the

ELDER HENRY KENDALL. V

three younger ones, myself and two others, in hand. We were sitting together on a bench, when he came to us and said, " you must pray or you will go directly to hell." Thinking it must be so, we, of course, fell upon our knees and began to pray with all our might. I thought if I could pray just as father did, the Lord would surely hear me. We continued till I could say no more. It was now nearly midnight, and father thought we might safely adjourn till morning. The next morning the news went abroad, and the neighbors came together to see the wonderful sight. My father then called upon my brother and sister to pray : they both kneeled down and prayed as vehemently as the night before. He then apprised the spectators of what Henry had done the evening previous; — that he prayed till he was obliged to desist from utter exhaustion. The reader may be sure that I was glad to hear this, for I wanted every body to know how good I was. After a few days my voice was restored so that I was able to commence praying anew ; and such was my proficiency in the work, that my father told me I was converted. Believing he knew, I, of course, became very happy. I loved to pray alone ; but mostly where I could be heard of others. A few months after this my dear, broken-hearted mother was obliged to leave her miserable home and her dear children, and seek a hiding place among distant friends. Here delicacy forbids my saying more.

Soon after, my father disappeared, and I saw no more of them for a number of years. Four little children, of whom I was the oldest, were now left with no other reliance than the mercy of God, in an unfriendly world. I then sought a home among distant relations whom I had never seen. After travelling in different directions nearly four hundred miles, I found a home for a few months, north of Center Harbor, New Hampshire; but, not being treated well, I left and went to another place where I remained a year. At this place I was well used. At this time I was very anxious to learn the shoemaker and tanner's trade. Accordingly, I went to Center Harbor and commenced the trade with

Mr. M . After some months, on application

to the Select Men, I was bound an-apprentice to this man ; but it was not long before I saw the difference between a poor orphan, exiled from his family and friends, and a child at home. Mr. ]\larston was a merciless tyrant, and through his neglect my sufferings, especially in cold weather, were more than I can describe. — Friendless orphan that I was, more than orphan, in every sense of the term, my condition seemed to invite the combined tyranny of both master and mistress. Sometimes they were quite pleasant to me, and at othe; times they thumped me w T ith a bark rake till I was quite stunned ; or whipped me so that I have carried the scars for weeks. In this way I wore out my apprenticeship, having no friend to interfere in my behalf. I was treated as a slave. I used sometimes to wish that they would kill me outright, that I might be out of my misery. I had never been to school a day in my life, until I went to my trade 5 and I had only attended school three weeks during my apprenticeship. My master taught me nothing but the coarse work in the shop. When I was twenty-one years of age, they gave me about five dollars worth of clothes; and as my indentures proved illegal, I could recover no more ; all was gone.

Chapter II. Conversion, Baptism And Call To The Min- Istry

I will now give the reader some account of my religious experience.

When I went to Center Harbor to live, I found myself in a very wicked place. There was seldom a meeting, of any kind, from one year to another. I had already, at the age of seventeen, acquired quite a taste for dancing, and was much enchanted with the violin. But I had hard work to bring my conscience to submit ; fori had always kept debt and credit with the Lord : and in all my troubles and dangers I used to pray, and promise to be good. In this way I kept my false hope alive. After I became satisfied about dancing, (for I had decided that it was no harm, if I was not too rune,) I had less trouble with my conscience. When too rude, I repented and prayed and promised to do better.

In this way I lived until I was in my eighteenth year. I recollect that one day during this period, I was on the lake, fishing for trout, with several of my companions ; they were very profane and went so far as to form a swearing match to see which could >o farthest in profanity. My blood ran cold, and I expected the ice would open and swallow us all up. But I thought if I was twenty rods from them there would be no danger, for the Lord knew that I was better than they, as I never allowed myself to use profane language in my life. I mention this as an illustration of my self-righteous spirit.

About the time I was nineteen years old, several of my companions and I met one evening for music and dancing. Nothing arose to mar my feelings till about nine o'clock. I was on the floor dancing with others, when, instantly the veil was taken from my mind, and I saw myself on the brink of death, and an awful eternity before me, which I was unprepared to meet. The thought chilled me to the heart ; but as 1 knew not what it meant, I strove to hide my feelings. My pleasure, however, w*as ended, and I was glad when the hour of separation arrived. I went home, and never was more relieved to find myself alone. I tried to settle with my offended 2

14 AUTOBIOGKAPHY OF

Maker, and with my guilty conscience, by applying the old remedy, repentance and good resolutions, but it was of no use. Sleep departed from my eyes ; Death and Judgment were before me. I found that the Law of God was out against me, and I was under its dreadful curse. My former hopes had fled. I saw that my prayers were nothing but mockery, and my promises no better than lies. In this situation I spent several weeks with no meeting to attend, no Christian to speak to me ; for there was not one in the vicinity.

After I had been in this situation one or two months, one of my companions came to me and wanted to know why I had forsaken their company. I told him that I had no more time to spend in that way. He left me and came no more. I read the Bible whenever I could do it secretly. I saw in the light of its teachings that my heart was vile and sinful ; but the Law of God, holy and just, although it condemned me in every part. I felt that my guilt was great ; and I saw no way to'escape the wrath of God. I even envied the brutes and reptiles their being.

Thus nearly three months had passed away, when I heard that a Baptist minister was to preach in a distant neighborhood on the Sabbath.

I succeeded in going to meeting. The minister began his sermon ; and soon told me all the things that ever I did in my life. He described my self-righteousness, my prayers and promises and reformations ; and then stated that we might as well dig down a mountain of flint with a feather as attempt to get to heaven on such a plan. I then felt that all was gone without some invisible guide — some divine aid. On my way home I experienced a strange sensation. For a few moments I felt light as air, and every thing around me appeared new. But this did not last long, neither could I tell what it meant. The minister made an appointment to preach at the same place again in two weeks. I put great dependence on going to that meeting ; but when the time came I was forbidden to go. My lot w r as to stay at home and take care of the children, while the rest of the family went to meeting. My disappointment was so great that it was hard to be reconciled. I then went to my room with the New Testament and an old sermon-book, and in these I read alternately as much as my time and distress would allow. A little past the middle of the day, I opened the Bible, at the fifth of Matt., sixth verse. "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled." These words seemed to meet my case, and afforded a gleam of hope for a moment ; but it soon left me darker than before. About three in the afternoon, I saw a host of people coming from the meeting ; and I was told that Mr. Knowles and his wife were going to the pond to be baptized. At this my heart leaped within me. I left the house and repaired to the water and got on the wharf. The people soon collected, and the old minister, Elder Jewell, began to talk about Christ and the way of salvation. He then prayed and baptized the candidates. While these things were performed before me, I had my first view of the glory and beauty of Christ, and of the way of salvation by grace, together with the subjects and mode of baptism.

The minister and candidates looked like angelic beings ; every thing put on a glory that was new to me : but when I left the water I fell in with one of my companions, who had been very profane, but now appeared serious. We walked away together and took a scat in a retired place, and conversed freely ; but after some time a thought came into my mind that I was trying to make my comrade believe that I was better than others. This alarmed me so that I left him.

ELDER HENRY KENDALL.

I felt as though I was a hypocrite, and darkness covered my mind ; but in reading the Bible, I found it a new book ; and it afforded me relief. Formerly its curses were against me ; but now its promises were sweet, and it was to me a precious book. I had now almost two years of my apprenticeship to serve, and there was not a professor of religion in the place.

Here I would observe that I had never spoken to Mr. Knowles or his wife on the subject of religion; but 1 longed for the privilege, and when, at one time during the winter, I was sent to his house on an errand, my heart leaped for joy. I hurried in order to gam time to hear them converse upon the subject which lay nearest my heart. When I arrived at their house, I did my errand, and then waited for them to speak to me of religious things.

But though they looked to me like holy beings, yet they did not name the subject in which I was so deeply interested. I stopped as long as I dared, and then returned with a heavy heart, and bitter weeping, running with all my might so as not to be blamed for my delay. By this, the reader will see the difference between my situation and that of those who enjoy the privileges of the present day.

But soon after this, my master moved to Moul lenboro', where it was often boasted that there was not a Baptist in town. And indeed there were none but Universalists and Arminians in the place. However, it was soon reported that 1 was a Baptist ; which rendered me an object of contempt and speculation. I was attacked on every side, but their arguments had the same effect on me that the wind has on the trees in an open field, causing them to take deeper root; they confirmed me in the views I already entertained.

Immediately after I had finished my services, I hired out a month at haying for seven dollars, and having spent the proceeds of my month's labor for clothing, I went to Center Harbor. Here I tarried the first night at Mr. John Bean's, when, for the first time, I met with Elder Nicholas Folsom, who was then on a visit at Mr. Bean's. Mr. Bean's daughter had lately met with a change of heart. Here, for the first time, I had the privilege of hearing Christian experience and Christian trials. By this I found my hope increased and my faith strengthened. I then went to visit Bro. Knowles and wife ; and, finding them very Lonely, and glad to see me, I gave them some account of what I had passed through.

I referred to a previous call at their house, and told them how I ran all the way from home to gain time to hear them converse on religion, and how grieved I was that they did not name it. At this they both wept bitterly, and asked me to forgive them. They said it was a lesson they should never forget ; and truly it has been to me, although I have too often forgotten it.

Here I would remark, that even Christians often overlook such opportunities of doing good. Had those dear Christians in whom I had so much confidence, entered into my feelings, what an unspeakable help it might have been to me during the two long years I was separated from all Christian society. I have frequently thought of the magnitude of the sins of omission of which Christians are often guilty, and of the innumerable ways in which they neglect their duty : thus losing the opportunity of doing that which might tell on the eternal destinies of thousands. And though I have occasion to weep over my own frequent omissions of duty, yet to some extent the Lord has helped me to improve some of those opportunities, and the amount of good that has resulted, will be rightly counted in eternity. 1 have often thought that the highest degree of perfection that can be attained on earth is to know how to prize and how to improve the present moment ; and what an amount of distress has been endured by pious souls who were weak in faith and hope, all of which might, perhaps, have been prevented, but for the neglect of Christians. What an amount of bitter regret has been felt by Christians, on account of neglected duties, when their friends have been snatched from their presence forever. When shall we learn to be wise ? But I must return to my narrative.

From Center Harbor I went to Meredith where I found a reformation. There I found a language that I well understood. My hope was then revived, and in about a month I was baptized by Elder Nicholas Folsom, and united with .the Baptist church in Meredith, in September, 1775. Here I would mention a sore trial I had about being baptized. I had long regarded the ordinance as a duty, and thought of the occasion with delight ; but when the time came and the church received me, I was in total darkness. The tempter told me that I was a hypocrite, and that if I went into the water, I should be drowned; and it looked so just that it should be so, that I began to think it would be. I, however, prepared myself and went with the company to the water.

There was also an old lady (whose name was Black) to be baptized at the same time. It was said by all that knew her, that she was very pious. But the impression that I was deceived, and that if I went into the water, I should surely be drowned, west through my soul like fiery darts. Bat I thought I had felt it my duty in time past, and possibly this might the work of the tempter, and so I ventured forward. But when I was buried in the water it strangled me a little, and now, said the tempter, you have the sure mark of a hypocrite ; for Christians never strangle when they are baptized. I was particularly anxious therefore to see how it fared with the old lady. And when I saw that she was baptized without the least struggle, I thought verily it is the truth, and my heart sank like a stone. I felt that I would have given the world, could I have taken all back again that I had done. But when we left the water, the brethren commenced singing a hymn which brought light and comfort to my mind. It was soon whispered to me, however, that I was like old Saul when the evil spirit left, while David played before him with his harp.

After this my hope gradually increased so that I enjoyed many comfortable seasons intermixed with fears and doubts. As it was my custom when I felt comfortable under a sermon, occasionally to witness to its truth, I soon became an object of contempt among the wicked. I recollect that I was one day called to the training-field, it being general muster. I happened to be placed on the front rank, and on either side and behind me were vile scoffers and drunken blasphemers. Whenever the officers were absent they would hold a counsel respecting me. One would say, "what do you think about his being a minister ?" Another would answer "he is too short," another said "he is not straight enough," and gave me a kick, saying you must stand straighter, or you will never make a minister. When at last we were ordered to ground our arms, they took my gun and threw it away on the Common. I went quietly and brought it back but made no reply to any of their abuses. On a friend's coming along and chiding them for abusing me, I told him they were doing me no harm.

In all this I thought I enjoyed the smiles of the Saviour and rejoiced that I was counted worthy to suffer for his sake. I went home with my faith strengthened while meditating on this text, "Who maketh thee to differ. " t pitied those scoffers who, giving themselves over to all manner of wickedness, became hardened in sin. And I could but reflect upon the distinguishing mercy shown to me. Why, instead of being a trembling believer, was I not an open and obscene scoffer at religion ?

In'the course of this year, I finished my trade and commenced shoemaking at people's houses. I then became exposed to bad company, and being naturally lively, I was soon led away by its influence. By degrees I lost my confidence and the comfort of hope, so that for four years and a half I had but little pleasure in the truths and duties of religion. I fell into some sins which will be to me as broken bones to the day of my death ; and what I suffered while in spiritual Babylon, of guilt, despair and temptation, I shall never be able to relate. I had a standing in the church all this time, though utterly unworthy. I had a regard for the cause of Christ and could not bear to hear it spoken against.

In the fourth year of my stay in Babylon, I was married, and commenced keeping house without family prayer; but I had hard work, for it followed me like a ghost. But I was so guilty that I could not perform it. During the last six months, however, my distress was so great that I was driven to despair. I regretted that I had ever made a profession of religion ; for then I should not have wounded the cause of Christ. I thought I had just light enough to seal my eternal misery. 1 regretted that I had ever had a being. I thought that if I was lost I could not even have the lot. of common sinners. I thought if I could be banished into some remote corner of the earth where I should never hear the name of God blasphemed, it might quiet my anguish. I was powerfully tempted to put an end to my life, and know the worst of my case. A.S I was one day working in the woods alone and thinking over my condition, I concluded that I would go to the church and tell them that I was the Jonah — that they must put me overboard or the church would sink, on my account : but it occurred to my mind that if I told them so they would have more hope of me. I then grew angry, for I could not live in the church and I saw no way to get out of it. I thought the church were all hypocrites or they would know that I was one. I used to try to pray in secret, but I could not get near the Throne of Grace.

In this situation I continued for some time, till one morning in the month of May I went to one of my neighbors to make a garden ; and before I got to the house Mrs. Roberts came out to meet me. She appeared to be in great agony about the state of her soul, and told me that a young woman residing in her family had found peace in the Saviour, and that she was left forever. While I was hearing her joyful and mournful story I felt remorse and despair. But before I was aware, my mind was contemplating terrestial things. I was filled with joy and grief. I had a glimpse of the Saviour suited to my condition. The young lady went to Elder Folsom's, and in about two hours I followed her and spent the day very joyfully. On returning home I told my wife what I had seen, and then .fell on my knees and poured out my soul in prayer to God. I felt my sins forgiven and my backslidings healed. From this time I was much impressed with the duty of confessing my sins to the church and also to the neighbors, which I did with great delight.