Autobiography and reminiscences of Rev John Graham, late pastor of the Associate

Front matter

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY

AND

Preface

The following Reminiscences were written at leisure times principally for my own edification, and were designed to be left for the benefit of surviving relatives, in order that they might know something respecting the way the Lord has led me in the wilderness of this world, with the hope that they might be induced to trust in the same merciful and unerring Guide. I have, however, been led to change my mind, and to set up my Ebenezer in this public manner during my lifetime, at the earnest request of several brethren into whose hands part of the Manuscript had fallen. I am deeply convinced of the many defects of this book, and of its unfitness to stand strict literary criticism. Knowing that it will be read and appreciated only by those who were more or less acquainted with me, or with the events, persons, and places described, I have "used all plainness of speech." I trust I have the approbation of God in telling to the world what He has done for my soul, and how, where, and when He has led me and fed me, all my life long; by concealing which I would have been ungrateful and criminal : and as for the groundless disapprobation of a fellow-worm, it shall never disturb me.

The Sermons were originally preached to the congregation of which I was Pastor, and were afterwards

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VP iv

PBEFACE.

re-written, condensed, and published in the Evangelical Repository, along with many others, under the signature of " Delaware." They have been selected principally because they w r ere shorter than some of the rest. I have recently read thetn all over carefully, and have derived much comfort and consolation from the priceless doctrines which they contain. And now when I am old, " worshipping God leaning on the top of my staff," looking by faith beyond the Jordan of death to the goodly land on the other side, into which, through the atoning sacrifice of our Lord Jesus Christ, I hope soon to enter, I declare my firm belief in all these precious truths set forth in them, as being agreeable to and founded on the word of God.

It is my earnest desire that this humble production may be blessed for promoting the cause of Christ, and for instructing, edifying, and comforting some of His true friends, when the mortal remains of its author shall be sleeping in the dust, among the sweet-smelling flowers of the prairie, unheeded and forgotten, — yet not forgotten by my Lord and Saviour, but "resting in hope" that in the morning of the resurrection they shall arise immortal and incorruptible, and meet the Lord in the air. u Thou shalt call, and I will answer thee ; thou wilt have a desire to the work of thine hands."

WINTERSET, MADISON CO, IOWA, 1 T p

CONTEXTS.

PAGE

Preface, . . . . . . iii

AUTOBIOGRAPHY AND REMINISCENCES.

Chapter i. — From my birth till I became a College student with a view to the ministry, . . .1

Chapter ii. — From my becoming a student and entering College, to my settlement at Crosshill in Ayrshire as teacher of the School endowed by Elias Cathcart, esq., m 10

Chapter hi. — From my settlement as school masterat

Crosshill to my being licensed to preach the Gospel, 19

Chapter iv. — From my commencing to preach in Scotland, till I landed in New York, . . . 25

Chapter v. — From my arrival in New York till my ordination and settlement as Pastor of Bovina congregation, N. Y., . . . . .41

Chapter vi. — From my settlement at Bovina in 1832, to

my marriage, in 1834, . . . .61

Chapter vii. — From my marriage in 1834, till the close

of my ministry at Bovina, in 1853, . . . 76

Chapter viii. — From the close of my ministry at Bovina in 1853, till the present time, 1869, . . .96 APPENDIX.

I.-Letters to the Author:

Letters from Rev. Dr. George Stevenson, of Ayr, Scotland; and his son, ..... 114

Letter from Rev. Professor George Paxton, D.D. . 117

Letter from Rev, Dr, McCrie, . , . .119

V vi

Another Letter from the same, .... 121

II.-A Brief Sketch of Rev. Andrew Arnot, one of the first Missionaries of the Associate Church of Scotland to America, . . . . .124

SERMONS.

Sermon I.— The Nature and Necessity of a true Religious

revival— Psalm lxxxv. 6, . . .133

Sermon II. — Christ dwelling in the hearts of his people —

Sermon III. — Our Lord Jesus Christ the eternal and immutable God— Heb. xm. 8, ... 155

Sermon IV. — Jesus Christ the complement of the Church

or Believers— Col. II. 10, . . . 164

Sermon V. — Jacob's Vow: or, The Believer's Trust in

God for Temporal Blessings— Gen. xxviii. 20-22, . 174

Sermon VI. — The same Subject concluded — Same text, 189

OF

KEY. JOHN GRAHAM.

Chapter I

FKOM MY BIRTH TILL I BECAME A COLLEGE STUDENT WITH A VIEW TO THE MINISTRY.

My Birth and boyhood — Desire to go to sea — My parents opposed to it — Engaged to a farmer — Serious accident, which lamed me for life — My consequent despondency, and perplexity what employment then to turn to — Served a three years' apprenticeship to the trade of a tailor, with my uncle — The unkind treatment I received from him when my apprenticeship expired — Left my native town — Eemoved to Arbroath — Where I lived one year — There experienced a spiritual change and found kind friends — Joined the Seceders — Their religious principles and character at that period — Eemoved to Edinburgh — Annoyances from my ungodly fellow-workmen — My desire to change my employment, and for mental improvement — Began to attend Prayer and Conference Meetings — The great benefits to be derived from these — Attended a course of Lectures in Anatomy after my day's labor — How I got quit for life of the use of a crutch.

I was born in Montrose, Scotland, in the year 1794. My parents were members of the Established Church. I received a common school education, and might have been a good scholar if I only had been studious, but I was too much taken up with other things, especially in working on board of ships and sailing in boats, to make much progress in education. When about fourteen years of age, I had made up my mind to become a sailor, go to sea, and visit foreign lands ; which was contrary to the will of my parents, who endeavoured to change my purpose. In this they did not succeed for some time, until I had several narrow escapes of my life by falling into the sea. What we cannot do to change our own designs or those of others, God often does accomplish by selecting and making use of means peculiar to Himself, and these almost always contrary to our expectations. Thus He says, "Be still, and know that I am God." My parents thought that by removing me from the sea shore, and sending me into the country, I might perhaps change my mind, become a farmer, or follow some other occupation. I was, accordingly, engaged to a farmer for a year. But we little know what is to be the result of our schemes, however lawful and expedient they may be in themselves, and although they may aiford every prospect of succeeding according to our expectations*. We should, therefore, form them with dependence on and submission unto the will of God; saying, "Not our will, but thine be done! If the Lord will, we shall do this or that." Though sixty years have passed over my head since that period of my life to which I refer, yet I still continue to bless God for what He then permitted to take place, in order to change my purpose, and I trust also my heart, without which I might have filled an early grave, and have had my portion with the wicked.

I went to my new situation with good will. It gave great satisfaction to my parents that I was away from the sea, out of the reach of danger as they thought; and that I had the prospect of soon being in a way of being a comfort to them, and a benefit to myself. But alas ! we do not know how near our troubles are, or how "soon our prosperous state may be turned into misery." I had only been in the service of my employer for about six months, when I was sent a few miles distant to bring home some young cattle, and while running after them I fell and dislocated my hip joint; which, having been neglected too long, could never be replaced. This was the cause of my lameness, causing me to halt on my thigh ever since. This was a heavy trial to my father and mother, as well as a great affliction and disappointment to myself: to be brought back lame, sick, and helpless, who went out sound, healthy, and active ; and to have my prospects and calculations in

OF REV. JOHN GRAHAM.

life turned upside down. We are disposed frequently, like Jacob, to think that God's dispensations are against us, while they are all working together for our good; or to say with Naomi, when she returned a homeless, helpless widow, after having buried her husband and two sons in a foreign land, — " Call me not Naomi, call me Mara : for the Almighty hath dealt very bitterly with me. I went out full, and the Lord hath brought me back empty; why then call me Naomi (beautiful or agreeable), seeing the Lord hath testified against me and the Almighty hath afflicted me?" God, in his love and mercy, has wisely kept parents in ignorance, when they are nursing and bringing up their children, what troubles are to overtake them, and what grief and vexations they may cause them; otherwise, it would embitter their joys, and discourage their hearts. Let them diligently and faithfully discharge their duty, by training them up in the way they should go, trusting in Him who has said, "I will be a God unto you and to your seed after you;" and who can bring light out of darkness, order out of confusion, and "meat out of the eater."

It was twelve long wearisome months before I was able to be out of the house; and even then I could not walk without crutches. Oh what a change! I still remember how my proud, youthful heart was humbled and broken when I could not join my former companions in their amusements; and how those who were once my inferiors in strength and activity mocked me and abused me. I learned by experience (the best of teachers) the force of what the Prophet says, "It is good for a man to bear the yoke in his youth. He sitteth alone, and keepeth silence, because he hath borne it upon him." Owing to my lameness, and the poor state of my health, it was difficult to decide what I should have recourse to in order to make a living. I was unable to endure the confinement of school to obtain an education ; or to engage in any occupation which required strength or activity : hence, darkness and discouragement hung over the present and the future. If we had only more faith and patience, it would be far better for us, and we should be relieved from many doubts and fears : faith in Him who ordains whatsoever comes to pass, and patience to wait for his will. Not having these graces in exercise produces great perplexity, and often causes us to fall into "the slough of despond."

I had an uncle in Montrose, a brother of my mother's, who was by occupation a tailor, kept several men working for him, and carried on quite a respectable business. It was thought that if I could learn the trade with him, it might be for my benefit. I was, accordingly, bound as an apprentice to him for three years. It was agreed that I should get my board and clothing, and go home to my father's home every night. This was looked on as a kind opening of Providence. I shall only say, that though it was a situation far from being calculated to promote my spiritual improvement and growth in grace, I honorably fulfilled my engagement, and acted faithfully while in my uncle's service: yet, when my time expired, and though he knew that I could do my work as well as any man he had in his service, he refused to employ me. This we looked on as being cruel and ungrateful, and tended greatly to discourage me. My uncle resembled Jacob's; greedy and grasping, and prone to take the advantage. But there was this important difference between Jacob's case and mine, namely, that when Jacob left his uncle, he returned home wealthy, whereas when I left mine and went away to sojourn among strangers, and steer my course through the world, I was poor and much cast down. Harsh treatment coming from strangers or enemies can be more easily endured, than when it comes from near relatives or professed friends. Even the holy human soul of our blessed Redeemer felt this, and complained of it, when he said ; " Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, who did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me." If we would only attentively observe the movements of Providence, we would find that what our enemies intend for evil, like J oseph's brethren, the Lord overrules for our good.

My not obtaining employment in my native place was the means of causing me leave it, and push my way among strangers. With the consent of my parents I made up my mind to go to Arbroath, a populous town some twelve miles distant, to seek employment; not without many fears as to the result. Accordingly I took my departure in a lumber wagon, with a small bundle carefully made up

OF KEY. JOHN GRAHAM.

by the hand of one of the most devoted and affectionate mothers that ever breathed the breath of life, consisting of a clean shirt, one pair of woolen stockings, and a Bible; together with about two dollars, one third of which I had to pay for my ride. It is not the amount of money young men receive, when they first set out in the world, that does them the most good ; for it would have been better for many if they had started poor, and been put on their own shifts ; then they would have learned some of the lessons I learned, the benefits of which I have found in all the places I have been, and in all the various relations and stations I have occupied. When I went to Arbroath, I fell into employment with an honest, religious man, who proved a friend and a father to me; and with whom I lived a year very happily. Here I was now in the midst of strangers, but under the care of Him who is "the stranger's shield. " It was in that place, under the directions of God, that my mind as to spiritual matters underwent a change for the better; and where sentiments were imbibed, and habits formed, which in after years became more confirmed and matured, and which to the present time still remain with me. It is, generally, the first step a young man takes when he leaves home, and the companions he then makes choice of, that tend to form his character, either for good or bad, during life. Young persons who have been brought up in the fear of God cannot therefore be too careful of the companions they make choice of when they go from home; for youthful impressions made either for good or evil will, in all probability, cling to them for life. The earlier in the spring the seed is sown, the deeper root it takes: so also, the spring time of youth is the time to have the seed of truth and true godliness sown in the heart, which will make their appearance in after life. "They who walk with wise men shall be wise, but the companion of fools shall be destroyed/' 1 — "I love them that love me, and they who seek me early shall find me"

In Arbroath I met with kind friends, who took an interest in me, because they saw me to be industrious, honest, and given to observe the Lord's day. It was there, also, where I first became acquainted with the Seceders, whose place of worship I regularly attended. Though they were a sect every where spoken against, because they were more rigid in their discipline, and more strict in the admission of members to their communion, than other denominations, and because they tormented those who dwelt in "the Auld Kirk," and in the Burgher and Relief churches, with their testimony, which they lifted up against their latitudinarian sentiments and practices; yet I found the excellent ones of the earth dwelt among them. Their ministers were generally men of profound learning; pious, faithful, and diligent ; with Zion's purity, peace, and prosperity lying near their hearts. They were wise observers of the signs of the times (not dumb dogs who would not bark) ; and were always prepared to answer with accuracy the question put by the earnest inquirer, — " Watchman, what of the night? Watchman, what of the night?" Their people then were well acquainted with the Scriptures, and the principles of their own and other churches in the land, and were able to give a reason for the hope that was in them, as well as why they preferred their own denomination to any other. They were not like many who take up a profession without understanding what it is, and therefore soon drop it and fall in with another; but they sat down, counted the cost, informed their minds as to its nature and consequences, and then held it fast conscientiously and fearlessly. It was during the early periods of the Secession Church's history of which it could with propriety be said, that she had "put on her beautiful garments, and looked forth as the morning, fair as the moon, clear as the sun, and terrible to her enemies as an army with banners." Though upwards of half a century has passed away since I first became acquainted with her doctrines, discipline, and government, as founded on the Scriptures and held forth in her Testimony, yet I still love them, and earnestly pray that the God of our fathers would raise up faithful witnesses who shall maintain them, and hand them down, pure and in tire, to generations yet unborn. "Arise, O Lord, and plead the cause which is thine own !"

After having been a year in the above mentioned place, he in whose employment I was, informed me in a friendly manner, that I had learned all he could show me, and that it would be in my favor to seek some other place where I could receive more information as to my trade, and obtain

OF KEY. JOHN GRAHAM.

better wages. This put me rather to a stand ; not knowing what I could do, or where I could go. But He of Avhom I asked counsel opened a door for me, and led me in ways I knew not, and caused light to arise on my path. I had a sister of my father living in Edinburgh, to whom I wrote, inquiring whether she thought I could obtain employment there; and whether I could board with her. She wrote me an encouraging letter. I accordingly left the place where I had spent many happy days and found many kinds friends ; sailed for Leith in a small sloop (for in those days there were no steamboats); and arrived in Edinburgh, with more experience of the world, more established in the faith once delivered to the saints, and with better clothing and more money to pay my way than when I left home a year before. This was in the spring of 1815, before the battle of Waterloo, when trade of every kind was brisk. Men were scarce, and wages very high. I got immediately into employment with a good man, an elder in Dr. Jamieson's church (Seceder), who carried on an extensive business in Prince's street, in the New Town ; often employing from twenty to thirty men. He soon discovered that I was sober, industrious, and did my work well ; and that I did not fall in with those around me who drank beer, and whiskey, and porter, both secretly at their work, and regularly at the tavern at night. This caused him put more confidence in me, and show me more favors, than some of the rest. At this they became displeased, and, like Joseph's brethren, did all they could, to discourage me and drive me out of their way; by calling me a mean, greedy, long-faced Seceder, because I would not go along with them in the evenings to the tavern. But they, by degrees, found out that neither threatenings nor abusive language could drive me away from the shop, or turn me from my purpose not to drink with them, nor make any of them my companions ; and they soon let me alone. Some of my bitterest enemies became my warmest friends ; and expressed a wish that they could only follow my example, for they were persuaded it would be far better both for their purse and person. " When a man's ways please the Lord, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him." , We have a striking instance of this in the case of Joseph, who was young, and in the midst of strangers s

AUTOBIOGRAPHY AND KEMINISCENCES and bitter enemies : " The Lord was with him; and that which he did the Lord made it to prosper." This should greatly encourage young persons to resolve not to be laughed out of their religion by scoffers ; or be driven from the path of duty by threatenings, or drawn away by enticements. " My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not." In these circumstances, they should resist the devil and those who are in his service, rather than tamper with them, or yield for the sake of either peace or profit ; and they shall find it far more to their advantage. Let them say what Joseph said, — "Oh, how can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?"

After having been five years in the same place with my good friend Mr. W., I found my health giving way, arising from the close confinement and long hours, from six in the morning to seven in the evening, both summer and winter. It was evident that if I did not soon turn myself to some other employment, and obtain more exercise in the open air, I could not, to all human appearance, stand it very long. Besides, I became tired of the company and ungodly conversation of those with whom I was necessitated to associate ; and I earnestly and frequently prayed that God would open up some way for me, in which I could have more time to improve my mind, and enjoy the company of those who were of my own way of thinking and acting.

I embraced what opportunities I had to obtain information, by attending a prayer meeting every week, and taking my turn in the exercises. I had connected myself with the Associate Anti-Burgher congregation, Potter Row, then under the pastoral care of the Rev. Mr. Simpson ; a very evangelical and impressive preacher : and thus I became acquainted with many a good and intelligent man in prayer meetings and other places, which was of great benefit to me in after life when I had to pray and speak in public. Such meetings for prayer and conference are, if properly conducted, excellent theological seminaries, to which if students of divinity were to pay more attention, they would not only find benefit to themselves, but they would also be better prepared rightly to divide the Word of truth, and give every one his portion of meat in due season. I also, during one winter, attended a course

OF REV. JOHN GRAHAM.

of lectures on Anatomy, delivered by the celebrated Dr. Barclay, in Surgeon Square, from six to seven in the evening ; from which I derived a great deal of useful information. By attending these and other lectures, I did not, however, neglect my work. "When the evening came on which I had to attend them, I was the more deligent during the day, and left my business an hour before any of the other hands; and I was sure to be an hour earlier than they in the morning, and was far more refreshed and active than some of them, who had continued at their cups, songs, and cards until midnight. Such practices as these, which many follow, may be agreeable to corrupt nature in the meantime, but in the end, and perhaps before that time, they 66 will bite as doth a serpent and sting as doth an adder." "The end of these things is death." Few if any who follow those evil ways "return again, neither take they hold of the path of life." May none of you, my young friends, be found among such characters!

As I never had any intention of taking a regular course in Anatomy or Surgery, and had not the money to pay for a regular ticket, I became acquainted with the door keeper, told him my circumstances, and offered him a small sum, if he would let me in along with the other students to hear the lectures. To this he consented on the express condition, that I should not come up stairs and enter the room with my crutch, as the Doctor would detect me as being an intruder, he having no student among the three hundred and upwards who wore such an appendage. Rather than lose the lecture, I concluded to conceal my crutch in a certain place at the bottom of the stair outside, and walk in with a cane. This I continued to do for most of the winter, without ever being discovered; but on coming down stairs one evening, and going to take hold of my old friend, (my crook in my lot,) it was gone, I knew not where. I found out that some of the wild wags had discovered where I concealed it, and had run away with it, to make sport for themselves and others. I made out to get home without it; and from that day to this I have made out to get through the world with the help of a hand staff or cane only.

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AUTOBIOGRAPHY AjSTD REMINISCENCES

Chapter II

FROM MY BECOMING A STUDENT AND ENTERING COLLEGE, TO 4 MY SETTLEMENT AT CROSSHILL IN AYRSHIRE AS TEACHER OF THE SCHOOL ENDOWED BY ELIAS CATHCART, ESQ.

Doubt and perplexity as to my future means of support if I should abandon my trade and become a student — Opened a school — Commenced the study of Latin and Greek — Entered College — The course of studies — Trials and difficulties as to my means of Living — Was present at the union of the Burgher and Anti- Burgher churches — The scene described — The Protestors and their sentiments in regard to that union — Joined myself to the Protestors — The Protestors start a church in Edinburgh, with Eev. Professor Paxton as Pastor — which greatly flourished — His high character as a Preacher — Commencement of the Theological Seminary of the General Associate Synod, with Mr. Paxton as Professor — Entered the Theological Seminary — Found the benefits of my exercises in prayer-meetings, etc. — Continued straitened circumstances — Consequent anxiety and despondency — Kemarkable Providential opening and deliverance from these — Entered into a three years' engagement to teach Mr. Cathcart's school in Ayrshire — Arrived at the house of Dr. George Stevenson — His great kindness to me — Reached Crosshill, my destination — Its neighborhood the scenes of persecution of the Covenanters — Their tomb-stones still to be seen among the hills and solitary glens — My emotions in my frequent visits to their graves — These visits confirmed my love to the principles of the Reformation for which they suffered.

Never in any former period was I more at a loss what to do than at that time. To remain much longer in the situation I then was would endanger my health ; and my spiritual improvement and comfort in the company of my fellow-workmen were almost at an end. But how I could give up my present calling — the only way providence had given me to make a living — and take up some other means of support, I knew not. I was then twenty years of age; had made out to clear my own way and assist my parents, who stood much in need of assistance ; but I had nothing over. I was poor and friendless,

OF REV. JOHN GRAHAM.

and not in good health. I had wealthy relations, both in Edinburgh and in Montrose, who could have assisted rue to obtain an education, but they would not ; partly because I was connected with the Seceders, whom they disliked, but principally, because they were of the same opinion with others, that I never would succeed if I should give up my trade, and follow learning, and therefore they should never be remunerated. It was true, I found many students,belonging both to the Establishment and Secession, who had come to Edinburgh poor and friendless, and who pushed their way by teaching, attended College and afterwards the Theological Hall, and at last obtained license to preach the gospel at home, or who went to America or some distant land; but before they began to teach, they had themselves been taught either in academies or in parish schools, or both, before they came to the city, and therefore were well grounded and prepared to teach others ; whereas I was lamentably deficient; could only read and write moderately well ; but knew scarcely any thing about Arithmetic, Grammar, or Geography. After asking counsel and direction from above, and deliberating the matter fully, as I thought, I concluded to break off, and launch my frail bark on the ocean, without helm, chart, or compass. A hazardous undertaking ! And although I succeeded far beyond my own expectations, or that of any who knew me; yet I would never recommend any to try the same experiment, and to be tossed and dashed with the merciless billows and cross winds of adversity, unless they should be better prepared to steer their course and encounter dangers, than I was. But when there is a strong irrepressible desire existing in the mind, to be useful in the church, and to promote His glory who has " revealed his Son in them, and called them by his grace," let them not be discouraged or give up hope, though the sky for a time may be dark and lowering and the winds and waves may be contrary. Let them trust in their blessed Redeemer, who can come at the darkest hour in the night, when the dangers are at their hight, and say to the troubled sea, — " Peace, be still I" and immediately there will be a calm. Their beginnings may be small, and their dangers may be many, like mine, but, through the blessing of the God of Jacob, their latter end may greatly increase. Where God intends to lead us, he can open up a way for us.