The suffragent, a social satire, an original play in three acts

Introduction

It has seemed to the author that a problem play might be written without the gloom of an Ibsen or the iconoclasm of a Shaw. But preachers have almost universally concluded that lessons must be taught by disagreeable methods. Since preaching by such means has almost entirely failed of result i-s it not fair to assume that something might be accomplished through joy and pleasure rather than by depression and unhappiness. In short the aim of the present effort is to show by an agreeable method that the theme "Fad versus Human Nature" can be illustrated, and just conclusions drawn, without violating either the laws of propriety or the general desire for pleasure. In fact the human being naturally craves the light, and also the lighter forms and lighter methods of instruction. If satire is gently used it can easily impress its lessons on humanity.

THE PERSONS OF THE PLAY.

John Manners, who is manly and believes in people being what they are.

Harry McMayne, a nice young fellow who likes a pretty girl, but does not despise money.

Ethelberta Donne, Who is manly and believes in people being what they are.

The Reverend Dr. Gibbons, President of the E. S. L. Capable yet not unmindful of glory.

Mrs. Stuyvesant Van Rensselaer Kruger-Jones, a social light.

Miss Earnest, a lady severe in morals, mind and speech.

Annette Silverton, young, fond and foolish.

Miss Tattel, good, but interested in others.

Mrs. Voisine, a lady who is willing to do odd jobs.

Act I

Mrs. Kruger-Jones' Drawing Room.

ACT n.

John Manners' Office, next morning.

ACT ni.

Committee Room in Convention Hall, next day.

THE SUFFRAGENT

ACT I.

Scene. — Mrs. Kruger-Jones' drawing room. A table laid for tea. Hot water urn simmering. Enter Annette. She hastily looks the table over and adjusts things. Sits down at table, sighs.

Annette. Oh! dear! I'm in such a pickle. In love with two men! Oh! oh! oh! {Enter Harry.)

Harry. Hello ! sweetheart ! Didn't expect to see yours truly.

Annette. Hello; dear. I did, I'm always let in.

Harry. By jove this is a fine jot). Here I've been looking for one for months and now I've got it. Who'd ever think it? Poor but worthy young man. Young man in love with one girl, and trying to marry another. Petted by a rich, but elderly female and thrown on the co'ld charities of a cold world. My, though, isn't it chilly?

Annette. Yes, very. You'll give me a cold if you keep on.

Harry. Oh ! Annette, oh ! Bert, oh ! Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Kruger-Jones.

Annette. Mrs Kruger-Jones. {Solemnly.)

Harry. But I must explain my position. I mean my job.

Annette. Your position! Yes, do.

Harry. It isn't every man with a position v.^ho has a job.

Annette. My intellect is feeble, but I can grasp that.

Harry. But I have both. You say lucky man. Perhaps, but it is such a peculiar position, and such a ridiculous job. My position is just this. Owing to the exceeding kindness of Mrs. Jones, I mean Mrs. Kruger-Jones

Annette. Mrs. Kruger-Jones !

Harry. I am bound to heed her slightest whim. She is very fond of young men. Now why are o'ld cats so fond of kittens ?

Annette. I don't know. It isn't always reciprocated.

Harry. But what I can't understand is, when they are fomd of them, why do they always want to marry them off to some one else?

Annette. It may be spite. You never can tell.

Harry. Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Kruger-Jones

Annette. (Solemnly.) Mrs. Kruger-Jones!

Harry. Is not so old herself. Nice place, bully style. I could be happy here. (Sighs.)

Annette. I, too, could be happy here. (Sighs.)

Harry. We two, you mean, could be happy here. (Both sigh.) Bert is a fine girl and she has the cash.

Annette. John is a fine man and he has the cash.

Harry. Annette, I love you.

Annette. Oh ! dear, yes, I know fhat. But you have got to devote yourself to the Cause, big C, and don't you forget it.

Harry. I know, I am here at a woman's rights meeting simply because I am poor. The women can suffer if thev want to.

Annette. We do. Oh! Harry we do. But we suffer more without money than with. (Both sigh.)

Harry. We'll, if we can't get married we will suffer together. I'm to be the only man here. Pshaw ! I forgot, I am not here in the capacity of a suffragette. I am merely a gentlemanly usher, just an usher. (Enter Mrs. Jones.)

Mrs. Jones. All alone, Harry, with Annette?

Harry. The old cats have not arrived.

Mrs. Jones. Now Harry, you must not talk like that. Ethelberta is not an old cat.

Harry. Oh ! she's a trump. But how she does rag out !

Mrs. Jones. Yes, she is a bit manly, I must say. But, Harry, she is just the girl for you. I would so love to see you marry her.

Harry. So would I. But marriage I suspect has not even entered her mind.

Mrs. Jones. Put the idea there. No one has a better chance. She is fancy free. Lots of nice young girls marry foolish young men. I did myself.

Harry. Yes, but he had money. I am poor, too deucedly poor even to think about. What can I offer a nice girl? I have not even a heart.

Mrs. Jones. (Smirking.) Come Harry. Come now, no more of that nonsense. (Annette giggles.)

Harry. All right. (With a sigh and a wink at Annette.) I'll he a man.

Mrs. Jones. Yes, Harry, you must. You know old age must respect itself. (Annette waves her hand at Harry.)

Harry. Huh! (With a grimace.)

Mrs. Jones. Now it was very good of you to come this afternoon. It will give the affair such an air of

Harry. Respectability you mean.

Mrs. Jones. No I don't, you silly boy, quite the contrary, in some people's eyes. (Jestingly.)

Harry. Who's eyes ?

Mrs. Jones. Oh ! the old cats you were speaking of. I meant it would relieve the affair of being a hen party.

Harry. With one rooster. I don't see that that helps it very much.

Mrs. Jones. But there won't be one rooster. Mr. Manners is coming.

Harry. Mr. Manners is coming, Mr. Manners is coming. He is coming. Let me think. Do you mean that John Manners is coming to your hen party? (Annette clasps her hands.)

Mrs. Jones. 1 don't know about the hen party. You rather intimated it would be a cat party.

Harry. John Manners, the calm, dignified proper

Mrs. Jones. Proper, did you say? (Surprised.)

Harry. Yes, proper. If you could know how utterly sihocked I am you would know something was improper. How is he going to dress? How shall I put it in the paper? Shall it be in low neck and short sleeves, in black satin and point lace or plain street costume. I must know so as to get it right in the morning paper.

Mrs. Jones. You needn't bother about that. I have that all fixed. The reporter just left.

Harry. Good heavens ! madam, and did you put me in, in any such appropriate but ridiculous garb? John Manners! Ye gods and little fis^ies !

Mrs. Jones. No, I just said my dear friend, Mr. Mc- Mayne, had consented to act as usher, and with that grace with which he leads the cotillion was enabled to make the affair pass off as a social function.

Harry. Good God! When I am just a butler.

Mrs. Jones. Don't be silly. It was nasty of Hodges to act as he did. I thought English servants had no principles.

Harry. Well, you found out. (Enter Miss Earnest.)

Mrs. Jones. Delighted to see you, Miss Earnest. You know Mr. McMayne. He has so kindly offered to help us out and brighten up our little company. I leave you to him. (Exit.)

Harry. My dear Miss Earnest, you see the hole I'm in.

Miss Earnest. Hole! This drawing room a hole. Why it is the handsomest room in town.

Harry. I don't mean this ranch

Miss Earnest. Ranch indeed I Mr. McMayne I do not understand you.

Harry. Oh ! now come, don't be hard on a fellow. I mean the situation — eh — the fix I am in.

Miss Earnest. I see nothing of the sort. You don't look in the least like one in a fix. You look rather happy and contented. Indeed if I may speak my mind

Harry. You may. (Aside.) She always has. (To Annette.)

Miss Earnest. I think something a little more serious would be becoming.

Harry. Serious. Ye gods and little fishes. If this isn't something serious I'd like to know what is.

Miss Earnest. There, young man, you are right. It is serious. It is one of the great moments of the age.

Harry. Yes, yes, I knew.

Miss Earnest. Now don't interrupt me. In interrupting me you may be destroying the influence which all ages made possible. You cannot tell if the few words I say to you now, into yotir heedless ear

Harry. My ear is all right, only I am not deaf.

Miss Earnest. W'ho said you were deaf?

Harry. But you were making remarks about my ear.

Miss Earnest. Your ear! (In contempt.) Your ear! Young man can you not see that life holds something earnest

Harry. Rather— just now. (To Annette.)

Miss Earnest. But you are frivolous. You are not suited to the times, to the vast expansion of the human mind which is opening out wide and upward tending to the development of the human race, until we shall be no longer in the bondage of sin, that is, in the bondage of man

Harry. I say, I think you are getting a little rough on us. We aren't so awfully bad, don't yer know!

Miss Earnest. But it is this frivolity, this unheeding

Harry. Ear, yes, I know. But there are other ears than mine. Go out into the waste places of the earth and tell them. Don't pitch on a poor fellow like me who has to earn his living.

Miss Earnest. You a man, talk of earning your living. You should earn your living. You should make yoursdf the bright and shining star that should lead the cause to victory.

Harry. What cause? There are such a lot.

Miss Earnest. Why, the cause. The only cause that is now before the world, the cause

Harry. Sav.. do you know I am awfully mixed. I want to do my duty and somehow your words give me a tremendous inspiration but I don't know what for.

Miss Earnest. You here, here today and you tell me you don't know what you are here for?

Harry. Yes I know what I am here for. Do you know what you are here for?

Miss Earnest. Here for! Why I am here to bear witness to the eternal truth, "which is written in our very flesh, which throbs in our veins, which actuates and moves our entire being, the thin? which will do more to elevate and enlighten

Harry. But to come down to earth. What is it anyway?

Miss Earnest. What is it anyway! You tell me that, you in this sanctuary devoted (he looks around) devoted to the furtherance of the greatest cause on earth. Now tell me why do you ask such questions when you yourself are here?

Harry. I ? Oh ! I know very well why I am here.

Miss Earnest. Well tell me then. Tell me in clear, concise words. Tell me from your heart. Tell me with your brain most clear, and your tongue most strong.

Harry. Here? Well, I am here as a butler.

Miss Earnest. As a butler!

Harry. Yes, didn't you know.

Miss Earnest. No. I didn't. {Enter Miss Tattel.)

Harry. By Jove, I must brace, or the social function will look like a cocked hat. How do you do. Miss Tattel? (Shakes hands.) You know Miss Earnest?

Miss Earnest. Shoulder to shoulder Miss Tattel and I have stood through long hours of anxiety and anguish, looking throug'h the darkness to see some glimmer of the dawn

Harry. If I may suggest Miss Earnest, late hours are very bad for any cause. You lose your grip, you know.

Miss Tattel. Oh ! but, dear Mr. McMayne, you know mv dear friend is only figurative. But do tell me how you came to be here, I would so like tO' know.

Harry. I was just telling Miss Earnest when you arrived.

Miss Earnest. Yes he was going to put to me from his standpoint, a standpoint which perhaps a man can best understand, and one w^hich would perhaps my dear Susan enable us to see clearer and deeper into the vast problem we have before us.

Miss Tattel. Oh! I am so interested.

Miss Earnest. He says he is here as a butler.

Miss Tattel. As a butler?

Harry. Yes, as a butler. You see it is like this, Hodge is an Englishman.

Miss Tattel. And pray who is Hodge?

Harry. Oh ! Hodge or 'Odge as he calls himself is Mrs. Jones, I mean Mrs. Kruger-Jones' butler, and when he heard she was to give a reception for the E. S. L. he came out quite flat-footed and said " 'E 'adn't hany huse fer sich damned nonsense."

Miss Earnest. How awful !

Miss Tattel. Awful, such language! And Mrs. Jones dismissed him at once?

Harry. No she didn't. She just sent for me. What do you think of me?

Miss Earnest. And you don't believe in woman suffrage ?

Harry. Oh! yes I do. It pays. It gives me a job. See? Miss Earnest. You wretched boy! To jest at so serious an occasion. {Exit Harry.) Is it not awful to what depths we sometimes sink. I was really hoping we might have succeeded in getting one man in the fold. It is so strange we have to fight the battle all alone.

Miss Tattel. Cheer up sister. There is much in life yet. It is very interesting to see and watch humanity. Now this young man may be won from the error of his ways.

Miss Earnest. From the error of his frivolous ways! He is too sordid to care for ought but himself. He accepts Mrs. Jones' kindness and then mocks her noble efforts. Miss Tattel. Do you think she is very fond of him? Miss Earnest. She makes him her servant.

Miss Tattel. Yes, so I see. But do you think

Miss Earnest. Think! I don't think, I know. Miss Tattel. Oh! do you? (Significantly.) Miss Earnest. (Not heeding.) I know the world is all too gay, ail too insincere, all too selfish. I know few there are who are willing to leave its follies and work for the welfare of humanity. I know . (Enter Harry.)

Harry. Step right this way. (Enter Mrs. Voisine.) Let me present you, Miss Earnest, Miss Tattel. Yes I know you know, so just tell Mrs. Voisine all about it. First, that I am the new improvised butler, and give her all the instructions about the higher life and so forth. Mrs. Voisine confided to me that she was crazy about it as we were coming in. (Exit.) Miss Earnest. The saucy boy!

Mrs. Voisine. Yes. I would so like to know all about it. Do tell me.

Miss Earnest. We are very glad to see you. We welcome all who can help.

Mrs. Voisine. And I can do so little.

Miss Earnest. But we all count, if not in genius at least by force of numbers.

Mrs. Voisine. I hear you take such a noble stand.

Miss Earnest. We trv to do so. But in these days there seems little good we can do without our rights. Once give us these and then

Miss Tattel. But perhaps Mrs. Voisine knows something about the people we are going to meet today.

Mrs. Voisine. Oh ! no. I am a stranger. I only know we are to meet that great and good woman, our worthy president, is it not so?

Miss Earnest. Yes indeed, that noble woman whose life is a beacon light

Mrs. Voisine. Oh! yes. {Rapturously.)

Miss Earnest. Who is willing to tread the pathway strewn with stones

Mrs. Voisine. How lovely !

Miss Earnest. Qimbing on, ever climbing on, on and upward . (Enter Harry.)

Harry. (In great awe.) Hush! she's coming.

Miss Earnest. Who's coming? Climbing on

Harry. {Impressively.) Sh', sh !

Miss Earnest. Climibing . {Enter Dr. Gibbons escorted

by Mrs. Jones in great eclat.)

Mrs. Jones. I have the great honor and distinction of introducing our beloved president. {She is presented to each in turn.) Miss Earnest an eloquent and soulful leader, Miss Tattel our genial and helpful friend, Mrs. Voisine a nevir, but very ardent acquisition. Mr. McMayne, a friend of mine, who does me the honor of acting as master of ceremonies at this auspicious occasion.

Harry. Very glad to meet you Madam. The fact is the butler won't buttle.

Dr. Gibbons. Won't buttle?

Harry. Nope. He says

Mrs. Jones. Harry!

Miss Earnest. Mr. McMayne!

Miss Tattel. Oh! please!

Harry. Well he won't. That is all there is about it. He

says " 'e won't 'ave h'any thing to do with such ha "

Mrs. Jones. Harry!

Harry. You see Madam he does not approve of women having rights. " 'E never buttled for sich people hand 'e won'.t now."

Mrs. Jones. Dear Dr. Gibbons, I must explain. My butler is so set against our movement that I can do nothing with him. He simply refuses to serve.

Dr. Gibbons. How very interesting!

Mrs. Jones. How very disgusting! We are not even allowed to ask for our rights, and our very servants think themselves our superiors.

Dr. Gibbons'. But surely you have dismissed him? Mrs. Jones. Oh! no. I don't dare. I should never get another; at least not an English one.

Miss Earnest. But your duty to the sacred cause of right

should surely compel you to take the high hand and

Harry. That's all right, Miss Earnest, but you see we are not all so far above the little needs of ordinary life that we can dispense with a good butler.

Mrs. Jones. Yes, Harry, you are right. I really couldn't get on without Hodge. I couldn't, I know I couldn't.

Dr. Gibbons. Yes, my dear, I understand. We must use common means to attain great ends.

Mrs. Voisine and Miss Tattel. How beautiful ! Harry. And you see ladies you really can't have a function

Miss Earnest. What is a function ?

I-Jarry. I don't know, I'm sure. A function is something

where you have clothes on

Miss Earnest. Clothes on! Well I should

Harry. Yes, of course, and you eat

Miss Earnest. And you talk this way, when thousands of

souls are starving,' souls

Harry. I was just saying you eat, you know, and have a butler, or — or — me. That makes a function.

Dr. Gibbons. You naughty boy. You take your position too seriously. {Tapping him on the shoulder. Exit Harry.)

Nice boy, a friend or a relative? (A little inquisitively.)

Mrs. Jones. Just a dear friend. {A little sentimentally.) (Miss Tattel looks at Mrs. Voisine who smiles sweetly.) And dear Dr. Gibbons I have another dear friend I want to introduce to you.

Dr. Gibbons. A man? {Somewhat eagerly.)

Mrs. Jones. Oh ! no, not this time. We cannot get very many male sufifra^ettes, at least not yet. This one is however almost as good as a man.

Miss Earnest. You don't mean to say Mrs. Jones that any woman is almost as good as a man. Why I, in the eternal fitness of things, when the star of

Mrs. Jones. (Sweetly.) Yes, I call her a star, perhaps because she isn't a man, and because she is still a woman with all a man's value.

Miss Earnest. Yes, I know. Dr. Gibbons she is mannish it is true and the divine

Mrs. Jones. (With a smile.) Yes, thank you, the divine mission seems given to her, for she not only lives and acts like a man, she carries out her principles by being to all intents and purposes one, since she has studied law, qualified herself to practice, and put out her shingle, and devotes herself to righting the wrongs of the poor, who cannot afford to employ a lawyer. She is very independent and denies the claims of womanhood, scoffs at feminine duty, actually sniffs at babies

Dr. Gibbons. Indeed, she must be a character. Why is she so averse to babies ?

Mrs. Jones. She claims every person has the right to be what they wish to be, to make their lives whatsoever they please, bound down by no trammels

Dr. Gibbons. And does she entirely ignore the question of love and marriage?

Mrs. Jones. iShe sneers at love as an imbecility of weak minds

Dr. Gibbons. She surely must believe in marriage?

Mrs. Jones. Marriage with her is merely the awkward necessity of maintaining the human race. I fancy she indudes it with dish washing as inevitable to the proper conduct of clean living.

Miss Earnest. Yes, she has the noble idea of a soul that sprung from the earth and soars to the unending heights of . (Enter Harry, escorting Bert with great attention; his manner loverlike and anxious, her's unheeding and possibly bored.)

Mrs. Jones. My dear . (Shakes hands.)

Harry. (Pompously.) I present you to the Rev. Dr. Gibbons, the great apostle of Right and the valiant leader of the E. S. L. (Dr. Gibbons comes up with a curious, somewhat quizzical air. Bert has very mannish costume.)

Dr. Gibbons. Delighted to make your acquaintance. (Very loftily as tho feeling her position.) I hear great things of you. You can be oi great use to us. (Patronizingly.)

Bert. (Pulling off her gloves.) All right. I'm there every time. Put it there. (Giving her hand in a very free and easy fashion. Dr. Gibbons seems a little shocked.)

Miss Earnest. Miss Donne has been very faithful. Her energies have been a great factor in our progress.

Dr. Gibbons. I am so glad to hear it, so very glad. (She zmthdraws a little and joins Miss Tattel.)

Miss Tattel. Charming girl and so rich.

Dr. Gibbons. Eh! rich? (Evidently interested.)

Miss Tattel. Yes, very. Devotes all her time to doing good.

Dr. Gibbons. How very interesting. I must cultivate her.

Mrs. Jones. 'My dear Bert, I was afraid you might not come as you hate teas and receptions. You always say they are so essentially feline.

Bert. But really Mrs. Jones we must do something. I suppose you can't work for women without working in women's ways.

Mrs. Jones. That is what I say. Teas have their place in the economy of the universe. (Dr. Gibbons nozv comes forward. )

Dr. Gibbons. Oh ! yes, we use all means, dear Miss Donne. That is, all means which are fair you know. All means are fair you know in love and war. I hear you don't believe in love so you must take it out in war. (Bert looks at her a little critically.)

Bert. Love is something for weak females and silly boys. {Contemptuously.) Harry. Oh ! don't, you hurt.

Bert. I hope I do.

Harry. I flee, besides I hear the bell. {Exit.) Dr. Gibbons. {Amused.) But have you never seen a man you admired?

Bert. Oh ! yes, of course. I know one. He's a fine fellow. I admire him immensely. We are pals, John and I. But I meet him on the ground of friendship, and we get on swimmingly I can teli you.

Mrs. Jones. Oh ! I am so happy to tell you he is to be here today.

Bert. What, John Manners at a vvoman's tea and that tea to give woman her rights. Heavens though, he must be daft. W'hy he perfectly hates everything that relates to the subject. We have regular jawing matches in my office. We were pitching bali yesterday and he got so mad at me that he went off in a huff. The old boy {laughs) muttered "damned lot of old tabbies." I called after him and said I heard, and that I'd give him a good pummelling if the ridiculous prejudices of the present age didn't prohibit a man from being knocked down by a woman. {Enter Harry. Hehears the remark.) '

Harry. Yes they are only allowed at the present time to pull hair and call names. But that is only a merciful dispensation of Providence. If we could be knocked down in addition to all the rest of the things we have to endure where would we be? {Exit and enters immediately escorting John Manners, as he supposes. John delays.)

{Tea is passed at odd intervals to occupy those not speaking.)

Harry. Here comes the bold, bad woman hater, the object of scorn by all the fair sex, the man who simply won't

Miss Earnest. See the great and good standards that we are striving for, the very elements which

Annette. Oh! yes, Miss Earnest, he does see all that, but he is just a stupid man, all man, all dark ages, all medievalism, or orientalism, all

Miss Earnest. Gracious, you don't mean that he believes in polygamy, in the debasing

Annette. Oh! no. Only he won't flirt, won't frivol, won't do anything a man should.

Harry. But there are others

Annette. Oh ! you naughty boy, go away.

Harry. (Piteously.) I can't.

Dr. Gibbons. This is all very pretty, children, but we have higher things to discuss. I wish to see the singular young man who won't flirt. He surely is an anomaly.

Harry. He'd make a good suffragette, just like me.

Dr. Gibbons. (Playfully until the antics of an elephant.) Oh ! but I thought you were a butler.

Harry. Yes I am. But you see I am not like 'Odge, I am also a suffragette. I am like (Bowing profusely to Bert) Miss Donne. I am a suffragent.

Dr. Gibbons. A suffragent! (Smiling.)

Harry. (To Dr. Gibbons.) That's what we call her. It's her clothes. <•

Bert. What is that?, What did I hear?

Harry. (Meekly.) I said I'm a suffragette, that is a suffragent, suffer a gent don't you know; that's all. But (In great haste) where is that wretched Manners? Kissing the maid I'll bet.

Annette. Oh! Harry, how can you?

Harry. I can. I'm disorganized. I don't know what I am. I came in a man, I suddenly found myself a butler, then by the advent of our worthy president I became a suffragette. Poor Manners, I wonder what has happened to him.

Bert. Hating the maid, probably, with the rest of her sex.

Annette. Now don't, Bert, just because you don't like the men.

Bert. But I do like them, when they aren't cowards, and will stand up like men even if they do oppose a woman.

Mrs. Jones. Surely, Bert dear, they oppose us enough, they won't let us vote.

Bert. It isn't opposition, it is just laziness. But here he is at last. (Enter John.)

Annette. You naughty man. Where have you been? We were just beginning to demolish your character and you are none too soon.

John. Well, you couldn't do that. It has been done already. (Bitterly.)

Miss Earnest. You don't mean

Miss Tattel. Oh ! do let us know all about it.

Mrs. Voisine. How dreadful !

Mrs. Jones. That is only an interesting episode.

Dr. Gibbons. My character has been demolished and reconstructed so many times that I feel very like a portable house.

Harry. I say, John, you have the appearance of a new born babe. You should bring your nurse with you when you beard lionesses in their den.

Mrs. Jones. Well, that is better than cats. You are improving my boy. (Bert stands aside thinking.) But Mr. Manners, I must present you to Dr. Gibbons, the rest you know. (Jle shakes hands around, comes to Bert, looks at her inquiringly. She gives him her hand in a hearty manner.)

Dr. Gibbons. I fear I am in much darkness in this matter. Do explain.

Miss Earnest. Yes, let us have the fullest account. We standing as we do at the side of the great yawning chasm. (Harry yaxmis.)

Harry. I trust, Miss Earnest, you are not becoming personal in your hatred of our sex.

Miss Earnest. Personal ; I do not understand. You do not suppose the mere interposition of a bit of male flesh

Harry. Say meat, Madam, flesh is too dignified for anything I feel I am now.

Miss Earnest. When great issues are waiting with gasping mouths. (Harry gasps.)

Harry. There you are again. Mrs. Jones I shall go home if this continues. I side with 'Odge. Eoware Madam, your only male suflfragette will desert you if you are not careful.

Mrs. Jones. Be quiet, Harry. You are not respectful. Miss Earnest will feel hurt.

Miss Earnest. I care not for myself, but for the great and grand issues for which the very intensity of our souls seems like fleecy clouds

Dr. Gibbons. Pardon me Miss Earnest^ but we are most anxious to hear of Mr. Manners' misfortune.

Miss Tattcl. Oh, yes, I am sure we are.

Mrs. Voisinc. Quite sure. By the way dear Mrs. Jones I have not the pleasure of knowing Mr. Manners. He is I think the gentleman who is so bravely contesting the election of School Commissioner.

Mrs. Jones. Yes. Permit me to present him. Mr. Manners, Mrs. Voisine is our latest acquisition.

Mrs. Voisinc. Yes, I am so glad to meet you. In fact {Turning to Mrs. Jones.) I think it was on his account that I joined your society. (Miss Tattel pricks up her ears.) You know (Apolo'^etically.) I take such a deep, very deep interest in all that affects our rising generation. Is it not right, Dr. Gibbons?