The rhapsody of a ruined home

Preface

I. Childhood - - - - 15

II. Youth-Man - - - - - 32

III. Courtship _ . . . 5^

IV. The Home - .- - - - 104 V. Discovery - - - - 113

VI. Ivament . . . . _ j^^

VII. Heaven Clouds - - - - 141

VIII. Confirmation . . . _ 162

IX. Divorce ----- 1^3

X. Lower Hell, or place of S-U-T. - - 203

A TRIP TO HEAVEN AND CHII^DREN'S HEAVEN.

Part II. Children's Heaven - - - 216

. . . "I had rather be a toad and live upon the vapour of a dungeon, than keep a corner in the thing I love for others uses." . . .

Shakesj^eare.

Introduction

THE greatest wrong that man can do to man Has roused the mind of wronged from former happy cahn. Maybe the villian's friends would have for say insane, And for a fact their acts have left their awful stain And though the wronged mind may with its visions roam, This, here recorded, wholly from villian's acts have grown — To roam, and yet to hold by that which was the real. And though unbalanced, with nought but fact and truth will deal. Not for advantage gained in all that's of its page. Not for gain of plaudit from critic or from sage. But if the mind is lost, and told of in this verse. The proof will be in truth that is in it dispersed; And not with flowery freedom of well and rational mind Do seek to write up this with untruth to make it sell. Maybe that proof will suffice for a backwood's county court, Which of this country's kind for ought but truth resort. When man who of this kind would have it other way, If it be so, the wronged one has nought for bribe to pay; Ivet that be as it is, I know, and am defiant.

when that rascally lawyer who had me for his client

Had robbed me of all on earth to m3' poor heart held dear,

Yet in this country's court he was to me a peer,

Not any hope of right against this lawyer fiend;

No friend with cry of hold! there has enough been done —

Wife, children, home, all taken, enough with this begun,

Hold then your hand from act that is to God so vile.

Stain not with perjury, bribery, to honored name defile;

No cry of stop, no brotherhood to do a promised act —

No helping hand to stop a lie with truth and ample fact.

What oaths were those were made within the mystic five

When promises sought to claim, against great wrongs to strive ?

What shame is in the souls of all who drank from mystic cup.

What sorrow to be told if all that's sworn must gulp;

To gulp in other world, at throne of Him who was called

As witness to the words with cup of death's sweet gall.

Will He, as they, think nought because not famed with wronged?

Will lack of fame dispose of words, of dismal midnight gong.

With that I hold my peace, of oaths I could but sue,

Let God with that now deal, let devil's have their due;

L,et those who held their hand to help a brother's sorrow

In this world live their time, not hope for heaven's morrow.

Though that that's here engraved will look absurd as facts.

And all may be a dream, born of a mind distract;

So much the worse for those who would not keep an oath

With injured brother sworn, who, wrongs have crazed forsooth.

PREFACE.

A STORY of childhood's early days With verses few, for pleasant praise To thus begin, that all may tell Those happy thoughts will sorrow quell.

With youthful hours of happy play And nought of wrong to bring dismay; But thought of it, sad heart to still, And hope from it, my soul it drilled.

Then with approach to later life. Before the fate with sinful wife; Thus for a step with manhood gained To time of horror, when honor stained.

Thus to the story that I'm to write Of sorrow black as darkest night That is with day 'twas all despair, Sweet sleep that brought the angel pair,

The task, though great, is well impressed On memory's page to aid success; The pen, though slow, to thoughts convey, Gives mind the time to past survey.

Survey in parts, that which was wrong,

A subject poor for any song;

Survey a field of bitter weeds,

No lack for truth, no lie will need.

Survey a second field of flowers With memory had of sweetest hours; Survey with hope, by heaven endowed Of sweetest love, with brightest cloud.

Two fields that are so wide in space. As heaven and hell— but one disgraced; Disgrace of which the one in hell The worse, and which must never tell.

With night was sweetest heaven's dreams; With heaven beauties maybe was seemed ; Yet for a fact embrace was had Jhough man may say that mind was mad,

But with the truth will stay and tell Of happy hours in insane spell, Of bliss enjoyed with two ^!*4w) were made "By God in heaven— 'tw a o th i o I played.

Two made for me, as angel told:

Not to another will they be sold.

Two born in heaven, no sin have known,

Who are of God for me alone.

These as reward for deeds on earth, With heaven for home in heaven had birth, An angel's promise that for my time, The day depart to seek heaven's clime.

They will prepare sweet home for me; It was they who said: "We wait for thee. For we were made, to thee possess; With thee to live and thee caress."

From heaven dream to earth again, Await my time, must yet remain In other fields, a work to do; The angel said not work to rue.

The other field to be surveyed, Within it now our camp array ; A field, though full of bitter weeds, Can not add shame to sorrow's seed.

A field to enter, a world to brave With burdened soul for sorrow saved; A field of danger, of greatest chance, Expose, deprave, though death menace.

Thus to the task will be applied Thoughts of the past, not side by side; Awake in hell, asleep in heaven; The home of earth, from it was driven.

That which will come, with heaven reached Have not a fear though God beseech With angel's promise, on mind is burned A work for which to earth returned.

Of those who read may there be some With sympathy, and thus begin To blameless hold the burdened heart For later acts, to tertee- its part.

AU others would, if they could know A sorrow like this breast can show — Crazed with remorse by blackest sin, Insane would be, must task begin.

If man will think of his own home That from his work of life has grown. Of children whom he loved to meet. They who his coming always greet.

Then will he think how it would be If a noted man his wife to see Must drive him from that home of his, Would he not then do worse than this.

Or, if he would, walk out and say Kind sir, my all to take you may; Don't mind expense, you to enjoy. And I will work to keep your toy.

Let him blame me, for that I do

To him alone for pardon sue.

The other man who home would hold,

Let him not blame for this that's told.

THE RHAPSODY OF A RUINED HOME.

CHILDHOOD.

yHR brightest hours of life * Are with the child, lu pleasant sport will strive Time to beguile.

Each day is for itself

Such happy ways.

And pleasant thoughts of elf —

Of evil, nay.

If work should be its sport,

Toil, that is joy; To mischief will resort

And good alloy.

Alloy to strengthen thought

It can not hide, The mischief count for nought

But pleasant chide.

Kach night with all forget Sweet rest will come;

Dream more happiness begot With heaven won.

Heaven, yes if known in life

In childhood's dream, Even heaven's best may rifle,

Or heaven demean.

Though dreams be joys on earth

As wished by day, It is thus heaven thoughts have birth

As place for play.

Sweet hope so born to live

In infant years.

Such blessing nature gives

To offset tears.

From dreams that are sublime

Sweet child to wake, Would happy world decline

If choice could take.

Choice with the dream to stay

Or mother greet, From dreamlands shore sweet play

Awake to weep.

To weep in mother's arms,

Earth's sweetest place; Dreams for it had more charms,

Would heaven grace.

■17-

And angells have for mates

Such pretty ones, Sweet ways such rapid rate,

To soar, not run.

Those hills the child would climb

When wide awake; Those rivulets would cross

For glory's sake.

In dreamland high peaks obtain

With swiftest soar; Wide rivers cross before

The thought is o'er.

Earth, child, such haste to sleep;

Playmates to find. 'Tmust make the angels weep

Such heights to climb.

When infant soul ascends,

"Sweet body rest;"

From world desires to wend

With heavens best.

And only when fast asleep,

To heaven dreamed; When soul was new would weep.

From heaven redeemed.

If God would only keep

The infant soul, When only sin would reap —

Make hell its goal;

What sorrow 'twould defeat In worlds below!

What happy hearts would beat- Not sorrow know.

Not we who know the best Must thank for dreams;

Sweet blessings are our rest If hearts be clean.

This one without the sins

Blessed, we are told; When happy dreams begin,

Then dreams are gold.

So peaceful is its sweet rest,

No care to hold; So merciful the Savior blessed

These of his fold.

From dreams again awake

More days to know On earth, may heaven make.

If good be sown.

While days are coming fast

Mind too must gain Child thoughts too sweet to last,

Yet good remain.

Possession — thought acquired,

Toys to it come; Things that are most desired

For them they run.

Then with the thought to keep

That which is gained; For loss of toys must weep—

Begin heart pain.

Each day like one before

Though years are few; New toys at times adore

New sports pursue.

With usefulness to teach

In gradual way, Youth's life in time will reach,

And brighter day.

Yes, happy hours abide

With school as task , In mind through life to hide,

'Twill ever last.

This time of life is best When time has passed;

Sweet thought of it is rest From hardship's mask.

Yet hours of rest are joys From school to steal,

And run in fields with boys — Hard rest, yet real.

Rest, climbing cliffs and trees;

Sweet rest out-doors.

Nought sweeter than this rest,

But rest from it; Each night in happy nest

From play sweet rest to get.

With it new mind is trained

To look ahead, Happy holiday to obtain,

School books not dread.

Thus brighter hours before

In brighter day, Air castles in sport out-door.

Real castles they.

To make the plan for them

Youth's architect, Plans that will make good men

All to respect.

Plans now for store in pen,

Pins are their coin; Mud pies and cakes-;-for them would purloin .

A"

Purloin, oh no! just take

When no one's near, Imagination make —

Pins, coin so dear.

What wonder things to buy

In vacant pen; The merchant need not cry

Or wares defend.

Pen store in orchard stands

Fruit thickly lay, For apples no demand,

Bananas they.

No thought or word complained

Of fraud with them; Sour fruit, sweet orange vain -

On apple stem. *.

Who says not heaven gained When children sleep,

With mira<de power obtained Not thought that's deep.

When of these things in play

Such wonders see Sour apples do not stay,

Sweet fruit they be.

If man this power had

For change to suit, What burdened hearts be glad

With sweetened fruit.

What happy homes in crowd

And room so small, If mind could field endow

And pleasant hall.

Endow with happy mind

As children do, Heaven power will need to find

Like soul that's new.

What wonder things possess,

Not of that seen If mind of man invest

Wliat fields and countries grand Would travel through;

What oceans cross, and lands, Coach, vessels new.

What wonder things would do —

Applause obtain — If simple thought pursued

Could good detain.

Poor man of fate — not faith — If heaven would gain.

Can you not see the way, With God remain.

And grasp the thought as proof, Though power be lost;

The child beneath your roof Has without cost.

Not power endowed with birth But Heaven's remains,

Must live for bodies' worth — Not Heaven detain.

Man though lost in dream

Must task pursue, Task again to seem,

Day dreams not rue.

Yet as a child to gain

We kuow to think.

With latent power remains

Sweet thoughts to drink.

Now back to wonder store

With mind begin To step, o'er top the door;

What noise within ?

That which they say, a thought

Must enter in From verse of stray it brought

Almost a sin.

While men thought to regain

The children's way, They, busy ones, be men;

We drink, they say.

We drink — must do as men —

With water sweet; Sweet with molasses strained.

One pin a drink.

Oh, play be on a spree!

Poor pen, alas!

Just you and me, we three,

Broke Mama's glass.

Now hush, don't tell the thought,

You must not know; From new set Mama bought

Let's have a show.

A show! Oh, now hurrah!

How quick forgn^t The ha}^ mow all en route,

The glass was not.

And now let me be clown

To tell the joke.

You jump and tumble down.

Swing high with rope.

Such cry as they can make

Performers all, Or from the girls to take

Pins if they call.

Pla}^ on, dear boys, nor staj'

A thought to give, The time you have now got

Worth that to live.

Worth life to live this age

That all will tell, Rich man, or yet will sage

It's memory sell.

Companionship is then

A word with chime, Friendship that is with them,

With man sublime.

Through life to hold the heart

With close embrace, In world!^ though wide apart

Sweet thoughts of face.

Could youtli see that be)^ond

High ft5TtTme^wall, From o'er its top sweet sound

Not heed its call.

Nor search its side for door

To make escape, But linger with thought before

Would change estate.

Not man that's gone ahead

Can stop his pace, The door, though he should dread,

To it will race.

Alas, that now Youth sees,

Put spurs to steed; And hasten, though not a need

For greater speed.

Good name of horse he rides,

Base in its lope, A name to long abide; Oh, thanlfful "hope! "

Hope carried to the sill When Youth alights,

Faith governed all the will To future's light.

Sleek charger of the past

Has served its time, Can in the future rest

From toil sublime.

The happiest days of youth

Are at its end, With brightest hours of hope

Begin the man.

The flickering light at close

Gives brighter ray And dreams of youth exposed

Begin the day.

The past will have its charm

For life that's real.

When time has with its arms

Impressed its seal.

The charm will quickly mass

With view before, Not man will cry alas,

At future's door.

The door within a wall

Defies all scale, When future made the call

To promises' sale.

For future castles bright

Make highest bid, For only that that's right

While sin is hid.

From view of future's door.

But that that's good For those that look before

No evil would.

Green groves with castles high, Bright flowers bloom.

All charm that catch the eye In future's room.

Sweet face of all that's seen

With fairy wand, Looks to'ards the wall between

Youth and the man.

And though the scene may change

With hopeful dream New views come in the range;

'Twill brighter seem.

No thought of scene so grand

Which moves apace, As made by fairy's wand —

The real ^disgrace.

From youth to man with change

Of dreaming time, From night to day new strange

Day dreams sublime.

The doorway entered now

With jeweled latch, With transformation bow

Pull string attached.

A string that hangs for all

From side that's past, Not way to make recall

From side that's last.

Bright heart that stands within

The door now past, New life must now begin

For latch is fast.

Not all that man may win

On side now gained Can latch-string reach; within

Must man remain.

The brightness that he found

In future space Was beauty all around;

Not yet disgrace.

From door near which he stands

Grand is the view; Paved streets by castles wind

Way to the new.

The new — what will it be?

Which road to take ?

Not end of one can see

'Round future's lake.

Will chance help to the best

If youth go blind ?

Why then were made the rest

If not good destined ?

The roads, why they are there

To lead away To future, each with staii*!^

To wrong delay.

That search, for heart that's good

May gain the best, By paths will lead through wood

To place of rest.

Rest — when the man has grown

With years of gain ; Rest from the harvest sown.

Though sin may stain.

Rest while the crop matures

If good or bad; Seed sown will be secured

With harvest had.

Of that will say with page

With this before, And here would hold the rage

At future's door.

Now that the man's within

New life to live, Nought to him is of sin

All good would give.

Will tell of that beyond

Youths past dispersed With chime of other sound

With other verse.