The lighted valley; or, the closing scenes in the life of a beloved sister

Front matter

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THE

LIGHTED VALLEY;

Chapter II

Decline of Health — Voyage to England — Visit to Bath — Visit to Cambridge — Extracts of Letters illustrative of her Tastes and Pleasures — The Opinions of a Brother and a Grandfather, 26

CHAPTER ni

Return Home — Duties resumed — Continued Decline, . 75

Chapter IV

Benefit sought in Change — Visit to Brooklyn — Return Home — Journey South — Stay in Philadelphia — Stay in Alexandria — Speedy Return, . . . .90

IV CONTENTS.

Chapter V. Page

Prolonged and Trying Illness — Wonderful Support under it, 121

CHAPTER VI Her Death, 162

CHAPTER VIL Her Funeral — Concluding Remarks — Letters — Poetry, . 202

ADVERTISEMENT.

The following pages were designed as a family memorial for those of its members who had not the privilege of being present at the scenes they describe — in which the fragments of a life of piety and loveliness might be gathered up, that nothing should be lost.

Kemembering, however, the wide circle of her friends, and believing that this little account of one whom all who knew her loved, would be acceptable to them, it was concluded to present it to them through the press ; may we not hope that it may fall into the hands of others who will find in it an example worthy of their imitation, that they too may enjoy the same hope and peace in their end.

This object might have been accomplished in a more unobtrusive way — one more genial with our feelings, and more in accordance with the retired habits of the subject of the little memorial : but there is a large circle of young persons who knew and loved her, for whose best interests she was deeply concerned; these could only be reached through the press ; and for them also this memorial of their friend

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VI ADVERTISEMENT.

is designed, that having seen how she lived, they may learn how she died.

They will see in these pages that there is

" A reality in religion" —

in a religion derived alone from the Spirit of God by means of his blessed Word renewing the heart into the image of Christ, and sanctifying the life and death of his servants to his glory.

May the same divine and gracious Spirit teach them and all into whose hands this volume may fall, that this is the one thing needful, and lead them to " choose the good part which shall not be taken away from them."

R. B.

Pelham Priory, Feb. 1, 1850, Westchester Co., N. Y.

Preface

Eleven years ago, I was desired to write a short preface, to introduce to the public a brief memoir of a grandchild, who died between six and seven years old, at the Isle of Mauritius, where soon after his father, then in the service of government, died also.

The narrative was entitled " Little Willy." It has gone through many editions ; and I have reason to believe the Lord has honored it, and made it the means of perfecting praise out of the mouths of other babes and sucklings. It was drawn up by his widowed mother — a circumstance which might have produced suspicion of partiality : but all who knew the lovely boy, could bear witness that even maternal fondness did not transgress the words of truth and soberness.

I have had much time and opportunity for observation and comparison ; and I am constrained to confess I never saw clearer and more satisfactory evidence of an early work of grace, or of a child's being sanctified from the womb.

Vlll PREFACE.

It may not be less interesting to some readers in the United States, that the body of the little saint lies buried by the side of the grave of Harriet Newell, the wife of the American missionary.

I am now again similarly called upon on account of another grandchild. But here the subject of attention was more advanced in age, and was removed in the bloom of life. She was born at Henley upon Thames, Oxfordshire, England, in the year 1827, and, removing with her family to America, in 1836, she died at Pelham Priory, near New York, June 16th, 1849. She was one of thirteen children, the offspring of the Rev. Robert Bolton, Rector of Christ church, and Anne Jay, his wife, all of whom have hitherto walked undeviatingly in the way of truth, and two of whom are Episcopalian clergymen, determined to know nothing save Jesus Christ and Him crucified.

As I have so often appeared before the public in print, it would have seemed affectation had I refused or hesitated to furnish a few lines on such an occasion ; especially as the application came from so distant and so dear a quarter.

But relationship alone would not have induced my compliance, had I not believed that the work was not only designed, but adapted to be useful.

I am aware that we do not always distinguish be-

PREFACE. IX

tween what is interesting to ourselves, and what is likely to impress others ; and I would observe, first, that no individual stands in a space so narrow as not to hold some as well as himself — and some who know him, and may be influenced by him. Secondly, the relative circle here, whose feelings will be alive to the representation, is very extensive. Thirdly, there is also a much larger number of young ladies, of the most respectable families, who have been educated at the Priory — all from personal intimacy remembering, and admiring, and loving the lamented " Abby." To which may be, fourthly, added, that a simple and unvarnished instance of unpretending, uniform, intelligent, attractive piety in early life, is likely to strike "favorably ; especially those of the same age and condition.

And need I say that this all-important class of claimants upon our attention, who are to build up our families, to fill our churches, and to serve our states, are peculiarly and increasingly exposed, and are already heaving forth from many a broken heart, " Childhood and youth are vanity."

In moral or prudential censures we would never deal in wholesale : it becomes us to speak of suffering parents with tender discrimination. But persons often seem to think Providence evil-entreats them, when it only maintains a connection between sin and

X PREFACE.

suffering, folly and confusion. Solomon long ago observed this, and said, " A man's foolishness perverteth his way, and his heart fretteth against the Lord ;" as if the Lord, and not himself, was the cause. Every good husband and wife are not a good father and mother ! We may say even to Eli, " Do you wonder at Hophni and Phineas ! you, who, when your sons made themselves vile, restrained them not !" and even to David, " Do you wonder at Adonijah ! you, who never once in his life displeased him by saying, ' Why hast thou done this V " Do men look for results contrary to all the analogies of nature and the known methods of grace ? They neglect to sow — do they expect to reap? They neglect to plant — do they expect to gather ? Or would they gather grapes from thorns, or figs from thistles ?

What right or reason have many friends to complain ? What have they ever done, religiously, diligently, patiently, judiciously, prayerfully, for those God has given them and committed to their care?

Some say and do not ! but children are much more influenced by what they see than by what they hear ! Example is above precept ! It is in vain to enforce humility and practise pride ! to commend meekness, and have no rule over our own spirits ! to love in word and in tongue, and to hate in deed and in truth !

PREFACE. XI

Inconsistency in parents is far more injurious than entire neglect ! Who likes to take meat out of a leprous hand? "Thou that teachest another, teachest thou not thyself? Thou that sayest a man should not steal, dost thou steal ? Thou that abhorrest idols, dost thou commit sacrilege t"

Some act only impulsively ; or by fits and starts, with often long intervals of indifference and carelessness ! They occasionally break forth in a kind of earnestness and haste ; and, the day being gloomy, and some cross accident having occurred, and the steam being up, in a bad humor they discharge a good scolding, and provoke their children to wrath, and discourage them ! but what do they constantly to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord ? What do they to keep them from the paths of the destroyer ? and from bad company ? and from improper books ? What do they to possess the passes of the country before the enemy seizes and fortifies them ? What do they to preoccupy and store the mind with good, that there may be no room for the evil ? What do they to make religion appear a reasonable service, and " the one thing needful ?" and not an affectation of mere opinions and crude conceits, and empty disputes and rigid observances ? What do they to render godliness inviting, and home delightful ? and to keep the family in a generally pious

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atmosphere? and to lead them towards heaven by their feelings as much as by their convictions.

Some parents are all softness and indulgence ! but wisdom, in the management of childhood and youth, will learn to deny as well as to comply ! There must be discipline as well as liberty I " He that spareth the rod hateth his son !" Here tenderness is often pleaded ; and one asks, " May I not, and ought I not, to love my dear children ?" To whom I reply, " Yes, and much more than you do ! You ought to love them wisely as well as really ! to love their souls as well as their bodies ! to love them for eternity as well as for time ! and never to be satisfied till they are 1 blessed with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ !' "

I hope we hear less than formerly of the absurd justification or excuse of parental undutifulness. "But can we make our children Christians ? Is not this the work of God V and " Can the husbandman make a grain of wheat ? Is not this the work of God V But the husbandman can manure, and plough, and sow; without this he knows, notwithstanding God's agency, it is in vain to look for a crop ! But, in the use of these means he expects, and he is authorized to expect, "first the blade, then the ear, and after that the full corn in the ear I" and how rarely is he ever disappointed !

PREFACE. Xlll

When we look back to our earlier forefathers, (such for instance, as the Henrys,) we find religion a kind of heir-loom in the family ! and the generations of the upright were blessed! and, though grace never came by natural descent, and " that which was born was born not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God," God heard prayer and blessed instruction, endeavor, and example, so that " instead of the fathers were the children, whom the Lord made princes in the earth !"

Early impressions are the most deep and durable ; and even when the subjects of them "cast off fear and restrain prayer before God," these impressions have often, by some providential or gracious excitement, been revived ; and Manasseh, in his affliction, seeks the Lord God of his fathers, and is found of him ! and we know who has said, " Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."

Though it may seem less proper for the writer himself to speak, I cannot help remarking that the father 'and mother of this beloved, and accomplished, and pious daughter have shown, though nature is so depraved, what may be done, by the blessing of God, under a system of proper education — a system which at once reaches the health, head, heart and hands — which embraces the life that now is and that which is

XIV PREFACE.

to come ; which equally combines authority and affection ; which does not needlessly multiply prohibitions and commands, but always abides by them when once issued ; all recommended by personal character and conduct, and all accompanied with dependence upon God for that blessing which " maketh rich and addeth no sorrow with it !"

Such has been the system always pursued at Pelham Priory, and the effects have been owned by all observers.

This address was not required to eulogize, or rather to characterize the deceased. This is deservedly done in the following pages.

At my advanced age, it is not very probable that I shall see or hear much of the success of the publication ; but I shall follow it with my prayer, that it " may have free course and be glorified !" especially in all my children's children, that " the sons may be as plants grown up in their youth, and the daughters as corner-stones, polished after the similitude of a palace !"

William Jay.

Percy Place, Bath, October 3, 1849.

o

Chapter I

" Whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."— 1 Cor. x. 31.

" Love what He loves, and let His pleasure please ; Die daily ; from the touch of sin recede : Then thou hast crowned Him, and He reigns indeed."

Cowper's Trans. Guion.

It is sweet to witness even in Nature the glorious setting of the sun ; w T hen having faithfully discharged his daily round of duty, having imparted life and light to all, he sinks majestically to rest in clouds bathed in his golden light : calmly and noiselessly does he pass from our view, the gleam of glory that he casts around him telling only of his sure rise in

" Brighter regions yet."

But it is sweeter far to watch the setting of the Christian sun ; to mark the close of a toilsome day of duties, often clouded by sins and retarded by temptations ; to behold the lingering rays of love, peace, and joy, which speak the departure blest, and which promise with golden hope the rising to everlasting day. Such privilege has been ours ; as, tending the death-bed of a young and lovely sister, we watched the progress of declining strength, and witnessed at length the peaceful, yet triumphant release of her glorified spirit. All was calm — all was quiet — for a life of preparation needs no hurry at its close; years of anticipation prevent all alarm, and days of actual waiting can hail the summons with delight.

From her earliest years our sister had loved her Saviour. Surrounded by unusual religious privileges, her first lispings were in prayer and praise. A spirit of ardent devotion soon showed itself in the decided piety of childhood, which in youth shone forth with almost angelic brightness and loveliness. Fed on the pure milk of the Word — taught to read, study, and obey it from the heart — it became by choice " the man of her counsel" — " the lamp unto her feet" — "the light unto her path." The uniform habit oi private prayer deepened, with her years, into a realizing sense of its value and efficacy ; so that the Mercy-seat was ever her favorite resort, her safe retreat, her hiding-place. From being taken regularly to the public services of God's house, she soon learned the privilege thus to meet God in his sanctuary ; and truly did she there sit under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet unto her taste ; for she found his word, and did eat it, and it was to her the joy and rejoicing of her heart. With David she continually exclaimed, " One day in thy courts is better than a thousand ; I would rather be a door-keeper in the house of my God, than dwell in the tents of wickedness/ 5

Anxiously watched over and thus prayerfully led by fond earthly parents, she was yet more highly favored of her Heavenly Father, who, by his blessing upon these simple means of grace, bestowed upon her the mercy of all mercies, in a knowledge of herself as a sinner totally depraved; and Jesus as her Saviour all-sufficient and complete. The work of the Spirit on her heart, was manifest in its own quiet and peculiar influence. It was inward,

2* deep, purifying, progressive. Reviewing life, and examining herself upon her death-bed, she was only apprehensive that, unable to mark the exact time or decided manner of her change of heart, she was perhaps building her hope on a false foundation. " I can never remember," she said, " the time w T hen I did not love God, and desire above all things to be conformed to his will." Yet though unconscious to herself of the time of this saving change, she could readily testify to its effects in a growing conformity, an increasing knowledge, a deeper humility, a purer and more ardent love : nor were her friends at all in doubt ; for the fruits of the Spirit were eminently characteristic of her — love, peace, and joy in believing : her love was universal, for it sought the soul of her fellow-man ; her peace flowed in as a river, for by faith she was justified ; her joy was bright and abiding, for not even death, as she had been distinctly told, could separate her from her everlasting portion.

Thus, through the blessing of God, was a spirit infused into the character of our sister, that like the life blood with its vital power, pervaded her entire system. Truly can it be said of her that " there was not an action of her life that was not governed by it, nor a quality of her mind which did not partake of its spirit. It was diffused through all her conduct, and shed its benign influence not only on the things she did, but on her temper in performing them/' Her affections had their worthy objects, her time its important duties, her thoughts their well-regulated employments. There was but little display, because the principle was interior, hidden, — " Thou God seest me." She was indeed in the world for a few short years, but never of it ; it had no charms which could attract her, no influences which could bind her.

" Her soul disdained on earth to dwell, It only sojourned here."

Yet it must not for a moment be supposed that there was aught like gloom or apathy. No — her marked consistency presented "Christianity in her fairest attitude, in all her lovely proportion of figure, and correct symmetry of feature," disarming prejudice of its ridicule, and infidelity of its sneer. There were some, indeed, who censured and remonstrated against a standard so far above the attainment of the careless ; but while the world disliked, it could not despise; so that religion, as seen in its practical effects on our sister, was universally admired — its meekness, its trust, its self-denial ,its humility ; yet withal, its constant cheerfulness, its unvarying courteousness, its winning love, its bright hope, its unclouded joy, convinced all ; it persuaded some, and it guided not a few into its "ways as ways of pleasantness, and its paths as paths of peace."

At fourteen years of age she had given herself publicly to the Lord, uniting with her father's church, the church of God militant; and through the remaining seven years of her life, while maintaining an uncompromising warfare against the world, the flesh, and the devil, she was careful also to adorn her profession by a consistent example, upheld by the graces of the Spirit — a faith fixed upon an inheritance prepared — a hope bright that claimed it as her own — a love devoted that sought diligently to walk worthy of it unto all wellpleasing.

If there was one property of her mind more observable than another from this time forward, it was serenity ; a peace which literally nothing could disturb, surrounded her like an atmosphere — a peace, that was the effect of strong and constant trust in God ; as was also an indomitable but quiet firmness she ever evinced. It is scarcely credible how beautifully the active and passive graces were balanced and exemplified by our sister in her daily conduct. No trial of life, no swelling of the stormy Atlantic, could move that hope which she had cast as an anchor, reaching within the veil. It wrought in her a singular detachment from the world, both in look and manner — an apparent forgetfulness of everything but her God, that did very much strike all who saw and knew her ; for it is, alas ! but rarely that we see the temples of the Holy Spirit shining as they ought to do — reflecting the glory and beauty of their blessed inhabitant .

What God has made and himself condescended to notice as " fair" and " beautiful/' " obtaining favor in the sight of all them that looked upon it," we surely may pause to admire ; particularly when its loveliness but redounds to its Maker's praise. By her personal charms — the blooming cheek, the constant smile, the innocent and lustrous eye, our sister was unavoidably the object of much admiration. On the one hand raised by her Christian principles above the vanity of assisting this admiration by dress or decoration, on the other free from the affectation of disguise or concealment, she pretended not to be unconscious, but she cared not for man's observations, — lowly in her own eyes for she walked humbly with her God. Sweetly therefore did her example shine as one who devoted her " fair countenance" a free will offering to the praise and glory of her God ; in not choosing religion, as some have frequently insinuated, " because there was but little chance of attracting the notice of the world," but as one who well knew that she could have shared its admiration in no common degree, had she desired and sought it.

But our sister had far brighter charms than those of person : her mind and manners were naturally elegant — gentleness blended with sweet vivacity, and refinement enhanced simplicity of character. Thoroughly and liberally educated, but only at home, by no means despising the accomplishments of life, all was yet regulated by a steady aim at permanent usefulness. This caused her to renounce the lighter pursuits of literature ; this influenced her in all she studied, in all she wrote ; it peculiarly characterized her singing, it urged and directed her in the study of languages, and withal, it failed not to support her in the calling of the Christian lady, charity — whether as required in relieving, instructing or working for the poor ; in short, this decided and persevering purpose to do good was the controlling principle of her life — it was the spring and support of all her exertions.

She loved music — her manner of singing was quite her own ; we pretend not to judge her by the world's standard. Her voice was perfectly clear, strong and musical ; but it was peculiar; as in a fashionable day and amid worldly society she yet dared to dedicate it to the service of her God. She would sing other songs, but not as she sang sacred songs. Let the breathless silence and unceasing interest with which she was listened to attest this. Safe in her sentiments, she could slowly and distinctly enunciate her words ; sending them home to the hearts of her hearers with the force of truth, impressed by deep pathos. Yet she did not enjoy singing alone as much as in a choir, where she could stand behind, with her arms folded, and her face raised to Heaven, as if she longed to be there.

She was very fond of painting. Here her talent was conspicuous. A calm but earnest admirer of Nature, it was her only standard. She fully appreciated the depth of its coloring, and the strength of its light and shade. Who that knew her cannot recall the delight with which she would arrange for her pencil a study of fruit, or flowers, or a group of shells !

Uninfluenced by a love of display, these accomplishments, instead of leading her from home for admiration, fitted her rather to endure, to enjoy, and to adorn its retirement. With the study of botany, she courted its fields, its woods, and its gardens, as the most suitable sphere for her simple natural tastes.

" I well remember/' says her absent brother, " the liveliness and enthusiasm with which she noticed the common grasses and wild leaves of a hedge-row, and the flowers of the fields of her native land — England. The primrose and the wild hyacinth — I think I see them in her hand! With what pleasure, too, her eye roamed over the distant landscape! To her the road- side, or the distant hills and woods, were equally wonderful, and filled her heart with the praises of God. She delighted too in observing the heavens — ' the work of God's hands — the moon and stars which He had made/ and thoroughly enjoyed those lovely sunsets which constitute so striking a characteristic of the American climate. How often do I call to mind a sunset at sea, after a stormy day, when we found it difficult to stand on deck ; yet how she lingered to see the last ray, both in the sky and on the sea. Her remarks at such times were full of instruction, and such as became the child of God."

To the fond eye of affection, as she thus came forth from the school room upon the stage of life, she seemed just fitted for the world ; when an eye that seeth not as man seeth, saw that she was meet rather for Heaven — meet for the inheritance of the saints in light.

Chapter II

"When the fruit is brought forth, immediately he putteth in the sickle."— Mark iv. 29.

" Time had not laid his hand On tress or feature, stamping the dread lines Of chill decay, till death had naught to do Save that slight office which the passing gale Doth to the wasted taper. No, her cheek Shamed the young rose-bud ; in her eye was light By gladness kindled ; in her footsteps grace ; Song on her lips ; affections in her breast, Like soft doves, nestling. Yet from all she turned, All she forsook, unclasping her warm hand From friendship's ardent pressure, with such smile As if she were the gainer."

Mrs. Sigourney.

It has been said, " All who possess but the elements of religion, submit to the Divine will :" but is it not often with tardy reluctance; sometimes, indeed, with impatient and fretful struggling? It needed not a Drocess of reasoning to convince our dear sister, that in her affliction a Father's gentle hand was upon her for good. The eye of her faith instantly saw it ; and a heart at peace w r ith God, with the world, and with itself, joyfully responded, "Even so, Father; for so it pleaseth thee." When first our anxiety was awakened about her health, there was nothing perceptible to the stranger's eye, nor were her symptoms alarming to friends at home. Medical advice was however promptly taken and followed, so that through the winter of 1847-8, she was but slightly indisposed.

When an opportunity offered of a sea voyage in the spring, it was deemed best that she should accompany her parents and an elder sister to England. They sailed on the 6th of April. Propitious gales wafted her quickly to her native land : but the voyage proved too severe a test ; she suffered much during it, and from that time wasted rapidly and alarmingly away. Yet as her cheek retained its color and her spirits were buoyant as ever, as she roamed apparently unwearied over hill and dale and then delighted the evening circle with her song, those anxious ones who accompanied her would fain flatter themselves all might yet be well. For not only w r as the hand unseen that was laid upon her, but the disease itself, evident in its wasting effects, was hidden in its cause, and baffled the medical skill of both countries. She seemed only to. waste away —

" The flower faded !"

This visit, however, though unavailing to restore physical health, contributed much to her enjoyment, and to mature, by its rich religious advantages, the character fast ripening for glory. It was doubtless kindly permitted by an overruling Providence, to renew her interest in the affections and prayers of many godly people ; it was mercifully allowed, too, that a brother most devotedly loved, from whom she had been separated for five years, should thus see her face again, before God took her to himself. This gratified her through her remaining days, and tempered to him the blow of her death while he w T as yet absent. Nor was it less graciously appointed that so many sw^eet associations should cluster around this visit, as to yield the sweetest alleviations in the bitter cup of trial, survivors have been called to drink.