Outlines of a gentle life

Contents

CHAP. PAGE

INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER, I

I. HOLY MEMORIES, 5

Chapter I Holy Memories

ASTLEY RECTORY, Worcestershire, is no longer an unknown name. Holy memories cluster around its home and adjoining churchyard. And holy footprints may yet be tracked among his people, of the faithful ambassador of Christ, the Rev. W. H. Havergal ; while his home influence twines with the bright life of his youngest daughter, Frances.

The church, built on high ground, commands extensive views.

'. . . . See Woodbury's outline grand, Upon whose crest the ancient Briton camped. Oh, lovely are the walks that curve between, From Yarrow up the Toot Back to the meadow in our view, where once Lily and Rose, our cows, were often seen, And sometimes Gentle, our fine faithful horse ; And there each other year we made the hay ;

Our pastor father, with well-ordered mind, Gave orchard, study, parish, each due care. We mimic children, played at church and school, And grew up handy, hardy, in our country life.'

— J. Miriam Crane.

The rectory garden then was fair, and it was our mothers delight to train the flowers with skill and care. In its shrubbery nooks, as well as flower-borders, snowdrops grew luxuriantly. When children, we transplanted them from the Astley snowdrop wood, where they grew in thousands ; their dark green tufts, crested with snowy bells, springing from under the dead bracken and tangles of moss and ivy.

With February they came, and on February 19, 1823, came our home snowdrop, Ellen, third daughter of the Rev. W. H. Havergal and Jane his wife. Her memory seems always associated with this flower, as appears from her sister Miriam's lines (herself only seven years old) on her second birthday : —

' Pretty little sister dear, See a snowdrop bud appear, All beneath the shady tree Which, my sweet, resembles thee ! '

NURSERY DAYS.

And in after years her own children delighted in the long drive from Winterdyne to the same Astley snowdrop wood, to gather baskets full of ' mothers flower ' as a birthday offering.

Even as a little child, Ellen possessed the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, ever hiding away self and preferring to please others, regardless of her own wishes —

1 So many nice scruples arise in the way, Whenever we wish her, her own self to please, Or take for herself some comfort and ease ! ;

Once I questioned our maid about the old nursery days, and she told me that she never knew Miss Ellen naughty but once, and that was to defend sister Maria when corrected ! Also, that she was a most good-natured child, dressing up her dolls to give away, and other playthings. Her skill in dolldressing extended afterwards in making artistic costumes of various nations, and to her delight these dolls were sold for the Church Missionary Society. (It was always a pleasure at Astley Rectory to help that.) She learnt knitting from a dear old widow — she was never an idle, listless child — and after learning her little lessons with mother, would quietly work and amuse herself. Some of my earliest and holiest remembrances are of our dear mothers Bible lessons on Sunday. Both Ellen and myself were much impressed one night, rather later than usual, with mothers words about the holy happy heaven, and the great love of Jesus, and they roused me to keen attention, and I thought, * Mamma and Ellen are good, and sure to go to heaven ; I wish I was/

We often wondered why our mother always went to her own room some time before tea, and we determined to discover what she did. Opening the door, there she sat reading her large Bible. We thought much more of the Bible from that time, and I believe Ellen early followed that example, and certainly did so in later years, retiring from any other pursuit for those hallowed moments.

' My good little Ellen,' or ' Papas harmless dove,' was his home call ; and his birthday lines must close her childhoods page :—

A FEBRUARY QUEEN.

'To Ellen, on her Third Birthday.

' Come, my pretty little love, Sweet and harmless as the dove ; You, my February Queen !

Paper-crowned with pink and green, Happy, happy may you be, Often as this day you see.

Onward as through life you go, May the Bible you well know !

And when days and years are fled, And you sleep among the dead, May your spirit happy be, With the Great and Holy Three, Clad in robes of holiness, Crowned with everlasting bliss.'

Chapter II School-days

LIVING in a retired country rectory, my father thought it desirable to give his daughters such school training and education as would fit them for useful and happy lives. Great Campden House was then a well-known school, attended by first-rate professors from London, with other educational advantages ; so Ellen's home life and governess were exchanged for school, and the penetrating and persuasive Bible teaching of Mrs. Teed. There was no vacancy on the first application, but the death of one of the pupils made way for her admission in March 1838.

Eagerly did I watch for Ellens arrival, and very pleasant was it to introduce her to our many companions, and show her the

SCHOOL-DAYS. n historic tapestried rooms and chapel of Queen Anne, and the quaint wood-carvings in one of the spacious schoolrooms. The garden walks were extensive, and beneath the terrace there was, as supposed in olden times, a subterranean passage to the House of Lords — but our curiosity might never penetrate that.

I did not then know the secret of my sister's anxiety to come to school, and it is only eighteen months ago that I found it out ! I was then staying at Hertford, and during a visit from Ellen (Mrs. Shaw) invited some of the dear girls from Christ's Hospital to breakfast. She then gave them this account of how and when God's Word brought her peace and joy : —

It was in March 1838 that I first went to school at Great Campden House, Kensington. I was so disappointed when, the Christmas previous, Mrs. Teed wrote that she had no room for me ; so I was glad when the letter came in March, for I thought I shall surely find out for myself what I could not then at all believe. I will tell you the secret why I wished to go to school. It was not that I wanted to get on with lessons and accomplishments only, though I really was very glad of the opportunity of learning more than I could at home, for I was nearly fifteen, and had not been years at school like my sisters. For many reasons I was glad to go and learn ; but the secret was, that then I hoped I should really find the Lord Jesus as my own Saviour. I had for long been so miserable. I knew all about Christ, and had had much sweet teaching at home. But I heard that the governess, Mrs. Teed, was so good, and I knew that many of her pupils had really found Christ. It was on a cold morning in March 1838 that papa drove me at 4 a.m. to Worcester to meet the 'Star' coach to London, which started at 6 a.m., going through Oxford and High Wycombe, where dear, saintly grandmamma Havergal met me. The coach arrived at Kensington between 7 and 8 p.m. A teacher, Miss Green, met me and took me into the back parlour for tea, and then I had a chair close to the door of the schoolroom, where evening prayers were going on. I heard the organ, and I suppose some one gave me a book for the hymn, which I have never forgotten ; it was —

' How condescending and how kind Was God's eternal Son !

Our misery reached His heavenly mind, And pity brought Him down.

' When justice, by our sins provoked, Drew forth its dreadful sword, He gave His soul up to the stroke Without a murmuring word.

' He sunk beneath our heavy woes,

To raise us to His throne ; There's not a gift His hand bestows, But cost His heart a groan.

SCHOOL-DAYS. 13

' This was compassion like a God,

That when the Saviour knew The price of pardon was His blood, His pity ne'er withdrew.

' Now though He reigns exalted high,

His love is still as great ;

Well He remembers Calvary,

Nor let His saints forget.

1 Here let our hearts begin to melt,

While we His death record, And, with our joy for pardoned guilt, Mourn that we pierced the Lord ! '

— Isaac Watts.

And then sister Maria came to meet me and introduce me to school-life.

And I was not disappointed. God did not disappoint my hope, for before many weeks I found it all true. It was on Good Friday, 5th April 1838, that our chaplain, the Rev. Joseph Parker, preached on Isa. liii. 5 : ' But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities : the chastisement of our peace was upon Him ; and with His stripes we are healed.' He spoke so simply and sweetly — did we each for ourselves believe that Jesus, God's dear Son, was wounded for our transgressions — bruised for our iniquity ? When it came to my usual time for going alone to read my Bible, I looked at the verse, and as I looked at the words they shone into my soul, and I just believed that Jesus was bruised for me, and that He had suffered for my transgressions, and so all my sin was gone, and there was nothing now but peace between me and my Father* And so that verse became my glorious waymark, and the peace it gave me has lasted on all these years.— (1838-1885).

Many can testify to the reality of this early conversion, and therefore being justified by faith, and having peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, good fruit appeared, and henceforth she walked most 'justly, holily, and unblameably.'

i It was the rising ! the first hour

Of the true shining, that should rise and rise From glory unto glory, through God's skies, In strengthening brightness and increasing power. A rising with no settling, for its height Could only culminate in God's eternal light. • ••»»•

1 And so the years flowed on and only cast Light and more light upon the shining way, That more and more shone to the perfect day ; Always intenser, clearer than the past ; Because they only bore her on glad wing Nearer the Light of Light, the presence of the King.'

I rejoiced in my sister's popularity at school, her winsome gentleness ensuring many friends. In Gods providential hand, one of her school friendships was the forging of a golden link, riveted in her happy marriage and home in Ireland, and afterwards at Winterdyne.

SCHOOL-DAYS. 15

On leaving Campden House, Ellen received prizes and a silver medal for drawing from Mons. de Riviere. She excelled in crayon heads and figures, and with further lessons at home attained proficiency, and she eventually sold many pictures, devoting the profit to the Church Missionary Society.

From Mrs. Teed she received a Reference Bible, the special token of her approval, with the words, ' The Lord grant that my beloved child may grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ/

Mrs. Teed's appreciation of her character is shown by this mention of Ellen after she had left school

' Great Campden House.

. . . ' And how are you prospering ? Are you looking into self where no good thing dwells, or looking to Jesus who is all fair, and in whose righteousness we are all fair too ? Are you, an unrighteous sinner, living by faith upon the perfect righteousness of the God-man Christ Jesus ? The effect of this righteousness is peace and quietness and assurance and holy living ; for if our garments have been made white at such a cost, there will be a holy fear of spotting them, — a dove cannot live with a spot on its silver feathers. Keep near to the

Lord Jesus ; they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.

6 1 hope you pray daily with my sweet dove Ellen. I hope you found her improved in her studies ; how I shall miss her I cannot tell. Love to your dear, dear father and sweet mother and Miriam. I love many at Astley Rectory, and have reason to do so. — Your affectionate friend, M. A. Teed.'

Chapter III Home Life

SCHOOL days were followed by the uneventful period of home life at Astley Rectory ; taking share with her sisters in the Sunday school. Her collectingbook for the C. M. S. showed loving diligence, many entries being of quarterly pennies and even halfpence from the scattered cottages. During the summer holidays she delighted in assisting sister Miriam in her large sewing and knitting class.

Studies were not neglected, and on our removal from Astley to Henwick House, she had lessons in German from Herr Lorenz, and it was then her little sister Fanny listened and learned precociously, though unobserved. Ellens translations from Goethe

B and Schiller are fluent and poetical, or as F. R. H. said, 'first-rate.'

In 1844 our dear father accepted the rectory of St. Nicholas, Worcester. Her delicate health often prevented her from working in the parish according to her most earnest desires. I know how intensely she longed to work for Christ, how prayerfully and diligently she prepared every lesson for her class, and how deeply the gentle teacher was loved. Some conversations with her sick scholars are given in ' Pleasant Fruits/

With her needlework she almost entirely supported a child in an Indian orphanage. Solid useful books were regularly read, and abstracts written. We were thankful that our dear parents' example and wish kept us from wasting time on novels.

Our sweet mothers long and severe illness, from 1845-48, brought our first and darkest shadow. Then it was that Ellens home ministry shone with unvarying and unceasing brightness. No classes, no pleasures ever kept her from her mother 's side. Not satisfied with the night nurse's attendance, Ellen would steal gently down to her mother's room,

HOME LIFE.

soothing and alleviating the weary nights, and bringing comfort untold, unseen, save to the Eye that never slumbers or sleeps. Yes, I must bear witness to my sisters self-sacrificing and dutiful love, a true pattern to myself and daughters in general.

Some time after our dear mothers blessed rest and most peaceful departure, on the 5th July 1848, sister Miriam sent her a miniature likeness of her mother. Ellen writes : —

When I first looked at the beautiful and well-known features, I thought, ' Oh that those lips had language ! ' Then again I thought — if it were so, they would only speak our sorrowful words — only a little while, and when I shall meet my loved mother in her glorious home, what new and unimagined tones of love and joy and peace will she then speak ! what, oh what will it be to hear her new and tuneful voice. And again I thought — no pain, no passing shadows will then dim that beloved face ; and if so lovely when with us, how fairer still will she be then, reflecting the beauty of her Saviour, who ever was to her the 1 Altogether Lovely/

Our dear father always specially honoured Ellen for her 'piety at home/ and at her wedding breakfast he emphatically referred to this characteristic trait, and of her mothers special blessing resting upon her. In our fathers will he made special bequest to ' his most dutiful daughter Ellen/ of the elegant silver cake basket which the parishioners of Astley had presented to our dear mother, Jane Havergal, ' in remembrance of her uniform kindness, March 1842/

In the autumn of 1853, we both spent some weeks with Mrs. Gross of Ayr, to whom she addressed these lines on her birthday : —

Birthday Thoughts for an Aged Friend

He who has led thee all the way,

To silvery hairs and life's decay,

Will not forsake thee now

When many a care hath aged thy brow.

Wait patiently — and thou shalt see

Thy God aye waits for thee.

Light has He sown, it soon shall rise

With gladness on thy longing eyes \

Till then, though evils hedge thy way,

Thy shield He proves by night or day ;

Leading thee where thou soon shalt see

Him face to face continually.

Loving God's law, sweet peace shall roll

As deepening rivers in thy soul.

PASSING CLOUDS. 21

Rejoice then, in the Lord rejoice ! And listen to His faithful voice, 1 With blessing thou art surely blest, Rely on Me for endless rest.'

Eighteen hundred and fifty-three was a sorrowful year. Our dear fathers illness and blindness detained him in Germany, and scattered our home circle. Ellen was also recovering from illness, and the sea-breezes of Ayrshire were most beneficial. Her graceful, fragile figure was quite a contrast to the sturdy Scotch lassies. Indeed, visitors called her ' the sweet English angel ; ' and her peaceful smile and simple words about the Lord Jesus, won many new friends. With the close of the year, the clouds brightened, and our home recall came.

Thoughts the Night before going Home, after Long Absence.

December 1853.

Another stage of life is drawing to its close — Strange have its wanderings been, nor few its woes, — Sickness and sorrow heavy on us lay, While each one wandered in a solitary way. Yet sunshine sometimes pierced the clouds, and showed A wayside flower, or where a streamlet flowed. Why were we scattered from our much-loved home ? Why did we journey each as pilgrims lone?

E'en as an eagle stirreth up her nest

The Lord did warn us, f this is not your rest'

Did He not often lead His own aside

By burning bush, or pillar'd cloud, and guide

His followers to some lone mountain-side,

That they might learn, * In Me ye must abide ' ?

So did He lead us ; and when storms rose high

Drew nearer, whispering, * It is I.'

Oh, let me listen still to that sweet voice,

And in Thy love and guiding grace rejoice.

— The morning dawns — the shadows flee away,

My longings wake — I'm going home to-day !

No sweeter joy my heart shall know

Till ends my pilgrimage below.

And yearning for my Saviour's breast —

He beckons — ' Come to Me and rest,

To-day in Paradise with Me be blest ! '

The St. Nicholas bells were ringing the home-welcome, but we did not know how eagerly one of Ellen's class was listening and longing to see her teacher. Little Sarah had been a rather troublesome child, and yet she would squeeze her teachers hand even when chiding her. And she would run home to grannie in the almshouse, and tell her, ' I was naughty at school to-day, but Miss Ellen told me of it, and I can't bear to vex her, and she does want me to be Jesus' little lamb.' The texts learnt at school were

LOVING LITTLE SARAH. 23

found again in grannies great Bible, and the same great Bible was carried by Sarah to church, tripping by grannie in her ancient satin bonnet and hooded cloak.

We were in Scotland when the child's illness came. Sarah read her Bible much, and consequently found comfort ; but her one longing was, * Grannie, can't I live to see Mr. Havergal and dear Miss Ellen ? I must tell them Jesus loves me, and saves me ; won't they like to see me happy ? '

She heard the bells, and the loving little heart was beating her dying welcome, ' Grannie, they will come now! She asked for the old Bible, and the 14th chapter of St. John, and then she slept. Just as the chimes ceased, One dearer than pastor or teacher came, and little Sarah was gathered with the Shepherd's arm.

It may encourage some wearied teacher, who seems ever sowing and never reaping, to read how surely God's promise comes true, ' My word shall not return unto Me void.' Let us follow my sister to the bedside of one of her scholars in the first class of St. Nicholas Sunday school. A reference Bible is open by Susans side ; it is well worn — a good index of its value to the owner. Susan takes it up saying, ' My Bible is all my comfort now, it's so sweet to me. I hardly care to go to sleep for thinking of it, and the night never seems long, verse after verse brings me so many sweet thoughts. Yesterday I was so ill, and thought I was dying.'

Teacher. ' And could you trust yourself in the hands of the Lord Jesus?'

Susan. 'Yes, quite so. He is such a Saviour, I could not be afraid. He is very precious to me, and I love to think of Him/

Teacher. ' Are you not thankful, Susan, that the Lord Jesus has taught you thus to know and love Him ? '

Susan. 'Yes, I do thank Him, but I thank Him too for sending you to teach me; oh, I do thank you so, Miss Ellen ! '

Another visit, Susan remarked, ' I am proud of my Sunday school ; it's a blessed thing to go to one. I was at St. Nicholas school for eleven years, and do thank God for your teaching. How I listened and tried to remember and ponder over all you said, through the week ! You used to beg us to

THE DYING SCHOLAR. 25

seek the Lord Jesus, and to pray for the Holy Spirit ; and if you had not, perhaps I should have gone in wicked ways. How you warned us Sunday after Sunday, and pointed us to Jesus, the living way! And what should I do now, without all the Scripture you encouraged us to learn? When I lie awake at night it all comes back into my mind so sweet, and when I am too weak to hold my Bible, the verses come in my mind like food. I wish all my class would attend to the Bible more ; it's after they will want it J

February 12. — A cold wintry day, with snow falling thickly. It was an effort and risk for Ellen to brave the long walk through the storm, but she felt a strong impulse not to delay her visit. She found Susan weary and uncomfortable. Her teacher smoothed the tumbled pillows, and brushed her tangled hair, and sponged her feverish hands, and then she sat down and wiped away the gathering death-drops on her scholar s face, saying, ' " God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes ; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain," and it will be very soon now, dear Susan/

1 Yes, He will, He will. But my Saviour had no kind hand to do for Him what you have been doing for me. I have pure water and nice things to refresh me — the Lord Jesus had none — only that vinegar and gall on the sponge.'

And then they talked together of the coming glory. Long had she watched the fruits of grace springing up in her scholars soul, and now the Holy Spirit had ripened her for glory. She lingered long by the bedside ; it was not easy to loose the dying hand that would never again hold hers so lovingly. But they parted, and Susan's last whisper, ' Full of hope, dear teacher,' gave a glance through the opening door into the bright home she was entering. And when the evening came, Susan passed within the gate, —

1 Above the splendours of the sky, To view Him face to face.'

Reference has been made to one of my sister's school friendships. The following letter gives a gleam of that sympathy which she so truly felt for others.

SYMPATHY. 27

Oak hampton, iqthjuly 1850

Can the account sent me from the Record be really true, my F. ? I can scarcely realize that your much loved treasure is snatched away, how then can you? Oh, my F., how I grieve for you ! Yet it is no c strange thing' that has happened. The husbandman and shepherd are wont to remove ripened fruits and loved sheep to the place prepared for them ; and now that your heavenly Father has done as seemed Him good, may His grace enable you to say, ' Even so, Father ; not my will, but Thine, be done.'

It must indeed be a bitter cup, a heart-rending wound, yet I know as your day, so your strength. May faith be strong and hope bright to enable you to pierce the cloud, and confide in the love that has thus appointed, and to receive the comfort which cometh from God alone. Who comforteth like Him ? not by removing the trial, but showing it to be a very proof of His love, and of our fellowship with Him — a means and channel of richest blessing. Surely this one is to wean you from earth and its miserable comforters and 'cast' you upon Jesus in His fulness and all-sufficiency as your all in all, and thus enable you to press forward to where we shall all be one in Christ Jesus. How often have you prayed for such things, — may this be the means of your obtaining.

I thought of you last night as I read, ' I have been cast upon Thee ever since I was born.' Is it not sorrow and trial that ' casts ' us upon our God ? Our flesh, our heart, our props all fail ; we have nothing left but to rest in Him. What a rock to be ' cast ' upon ! so sure, so sheltering ; never failing — all-sufficient, because a smitten rock. May its healing streams abound to you while you find shelter there in this storm of sorrow ! . . . — Your affectionate friend, E. P. Havergal.

Chapter IV. Marriage And A Home In Ireland

WE are permitted to unveil some letters after Ellen's happy engagement to Giles Shaw, Esq. of Celbridge Lodge, County Kildare, and the wise and prayerful spirit in which she looked forward to this new step in life.

To G. S.

Worcester, November 1855.

And of what should my first letter be, but of Him who is our first friend, our first object, our first or ' exceeding joy ' ? His love to us is from everlasting, ours is but just commenced, but was it not from Him ? did He not shed His love abroad in our hearts, and then drew us by it to each other ? Then may our hearts, being ' knit together' by His love, be ever receiving increasing supplies of it that shall bind us closer to Him. I would love you much, but I would love Him most, because He ' first loved me, and gave Himself for me. 5 Do you think these two rules would help us to love Him

LETTERS BEFORE MARRIAGE. 29

more, — that whenever we think of each other, especially in absence, we should also think of Him who is ' with us always,' while we are with Him. Also, that whenever we observe anything, either defective or pleasing in each other, we should make it an occasion to admire Him who is ' without blemish or spot/ and altogether lovely. ... E. P. H.

To G. S.

Lansdowne Crescent,

nth December 1855.

The snow prevented me from going into the parish this morning, so I had the pleasure of going to my room at noon and doing as I hoped you then did. My chapter happened to be Matt. xvii. I felt it was indeed 6 good 1 to 'come apart' from the rest and be awhile in the presence of Jesus. It seemed as if you and I might, and did, ascend far higher than that happy mount, even to that Mount Zion whither He is gone before us. And if we cannot yet see His brightness with bodily eyes, faith can discern something of His brightness as the ' sun of our souls/ the ' Sun of Righteousness.' I could not but pray, ' Lord, show me> show us Thyself.' He has arisen upon our souls with healing in His beams. May He now shine more brightly upon us, not only to cheer with His bright beams of love, but to reflect upon us more of His image. Oh to be changed into His image here, and into His glory hereafter ! Surely He did (as you say) ' meet us on that occasion ' ! How gracious of Him to do so ! . . . E. P. H.

December 1855.

I hope our Sunday enjoyment has been mutual, — to me there seemed new need for every prayer, new cause for every praise, and a new light and value in precepts and promises, which it would have been delightful to have enjoyed with you. Never was I so struck before with the figure brought to our notice by our Church, of Christ as the Branch. ' I sat under His shadow with great delight/ and thought of Him as His Father's 6 plant of renown/ ' daily His delight,' and yet transplanted by Him to our desert world. Those to whom He was first given saw no beauty in Him, but thanks be to God if He enables us to see that He is 6 beautiful and glorious/ and 'altogether lovely.' We look unto Him and see Him as a branch drooping and oppressed, with the burden of our sin, laden with the imputation of our guilt and sentences of death. We look again, and see He is the only ' righteous Branch ' in this ' dry ground/ — and more than this, that He is our Righteousness. We go and ' sit under His shadow/ and are 'revived/ sheltered, and refreshed, — we find His fruit is not only for ' healing ' to our sin-wounded hearts, but that it is 'sweet to our taste/ and in full confidence it will ' never fail/ we may say — c Feed me till I want no more ! '