Love made to order, and other comedies

Act I

{Mr. Craddock: s house ; Mrs. Craddock seated reading. Enter Mr. Craddock^)

Craddock. All alone, my dear? Where is Kate?

Mrs. Craddock. Gone out for a drive.

Craddock. I wish I had known she was going. I would have liked to have gone with her?

Mrs. Craddock. You would have been de trop ; she had an escort.

Craddock. Am I to understand by your piebald expressions that she had somebody with her ? Perhaps that's what you mean by your de trops and escorts.

Mrs. Craddock. Come, Jasper, do try and moderate the asperity of your expressions.

Craddock. And you, my dear, do try and speak one language at a time. I make no insinuations, but you may find good English quite equal to your powers.

Mrs. Craddock. Thank you, Mr. Craddock, for your sneer, but when I want a lesson in languages I'll not go to you for it; and what's more, I'll speak as many of them as I like, and all at once if I think fit.

Craddock. Indeed ! And so you propose to make of yourself a domestic Tower of Babel; a living monument to gibberish erected on the family hearth !

Mrs. Craddock. I declare, Jasper, you are the most aggravating man I ever saw. So unkind, too, ridiculing me in that way. I'm sure, I — I — {Puts her handkerchief to her face. Mr. C. takes her hand away and kisses her cheek.)

Craddock. There, now, Molly, it's all right. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad, but you didn't tell me whether it was a whole regiment or only a company of soldiers who went with Kate.

Mrs. Craddock. Jasper, are you mad ? I said nothing about soldiers.

Craddock. Didn't you, though ? When you said Kate had an escort I naturally thought of soldiers.

Mrs. Craddock. Mr. Craddock, don't make a fool of yourself any longer. Kate went out with Sir James Jermyn.

Craddock. Then you have used a very big word for a very small thing.

Mrs. Craddock. If you were like any other reasonable man you would see that Sir James is

Craddock. A very great man in his own estimation.

Mrs. Craddock. You are a poor victim of prejudice.

Craddock. That may be, but my daughter shall not be a victim of this Englishman if I can help it.

Mrs. Craddock. Instead of trying to prevent it, you should be glad that your daughter has an opportunity of becoming a nobleman's wife.

Craddock. Nobleman, forsooth ! A petty baronet ! The lowest inheritable title in the British Islands ! In his own element he is but a minnow among big fishes.

Mrs. Craddock. A nobleman, nevertheless, and his title gives him the entree to the salons of the highest of his class. Kate would rise to his position by marrying him. Think of her being the guest of lords and dukes and even princes !

Craddock. Yes, and think of her being across the water away from her parents.

Mrs. Craddock. I would go and live with her.

Craddock. And desert me ?

Mrs. Craddock. Why not ?

Craddock. That's cool !

Mrs. Craddock. I mean, of course, if you were so foolish as to refuse to go with us.

Craddock. I thank you for your candor. It will enable me to thwart your designs. It is fortunate that I will have an ally in Kate. She does not share your absurd ideas.

Mrs. Craddock. Does it not occur to your wisdom that she may fall in love with Sir James, even if she does not think of his title ? At all. events I will give her a good opportunity, for I have set my heart on her being Lady Jermyn.

Craddock. Did anyone ever listen to such incredible folly ? I tell you, Mrs. Craddock, this must be put a stop to. You shall not throw my daughter at the head of that foreigner.

Mrs. Craddock. And I tell you, Mr. Craddock, that this thing shall go on. Your daughter, forsooth!

Craddock. And pray, Mrs. Craddock, whose daughter is she, if she is not mine?

Mrs. Craddock. Mine, sir.

Craddock. I don't see that that makes her any the less mine !

Mrs. Craddock. Don't it, now ? I'll let you see before I get through with this business. She shall be Lady Jermyn.

Craddock. As sure as she is my daughter she shall not be Lady Jermyn.

Mrs. Craddock. If she does not obey me in this matter may she never be anything but Kate Craddock.

Craddock. Can malice farther go ! A truly feminine imprecation ! To be an old maid ! What a calamity ! Now see how differently I look at it. I would think her happy in being Kate Craddock forever. There was a time, Mrs. C, when to be Molly Craddock was the height of your ambition.

Mrs. Craddock. Never, Mr. Craddock. You came whining around me so that I took compassion on you.

Craddock {taking Jier hand). Come, Molly, exercise a little of that feeling now, and do not conspire to send my dear daughter across the sea, even if by not doing so her name is destined to be always Kate Craddock.

Mrs. Craddock. Go away with your nonsense. I tell you if I can help it her name will not be Craddock much longer, but Jermyn.

IO LOVE MADE TO ORDER.

Craddock {angrily). It shall be Craddock.

Mrs. Craddock. It sha'n't.

Craddock. Craddock"!

Mrs. Craddock. Jermyn !

Craddock. Craddock, I say. (Voices are heard in the adjoining room. Mr. C, hearing which, turns suddenly around, gesticulating violently, and stumbles over a footstool. Mrs. C. screams. At this juncture Kate and Sir James Jermyn enter.)

Kate. Why, what's the matter, pa? Are you hurt ?

Craddock. Oh, no, my dear. I turned round suddenly when I heard you coming, and fell over this footstool.

Jermyn. How very annoying! These beastly things often make one come to grief. I remember once crushing a favorite poodle in that way.

Kate. Poor little doggy !

Mrs. Craddock. I hope you were not injured, Sir James.

Jermyn. Not in the least, I assure you. On the contrary, the little beggar afforded me a very soft cushion. Yes {meditatively) he quite broke my fall. Poor little beggar !

Mrs. Craddock. The reminiscence seems to draw you to other scenes, Sir James.

Jermyn. Quite so ! Yes ! I was thinking

LOVE MADE TO ORDER. II

of the poor little beast's funeral. I was chief mourner, you know.

Craddock {aside). Very appropriate for one puppy to attend the funeral of another.

Kate (laughing). Surely, you jest.

Jermyn. Oh, dear, no ! It was a very sad affair, you know. His death nearly broke the heart of his mistress. She puts flowers on his grave to this day, you know. Poor little beggar !

Mrs. Craddock. He was a sort of heirloom in the family, I suppose.

Kate. Hairloom, ma, I should say.

Jermyn. Capital ! That's not so bad, you know. Hairloom! Ha!ha-a-a-a!

Craddock. Well done, Kate ! Can't you tell us a dog story ?

Mrs. Craddock. Mr. Craddock !

Jermyn. Oh, do, I beg, Miss Craddock. The annals of the canine race are quite interesting, I am sure.

Kate (laughing.) What ! Shall we sit down upon the ground and tell strange stories of the death of dogs ?

Jermyn. Ha ! ha-a-a-a ! It does strike one as odd when one thinks of it.

Mrs. Craddock. I hope, Sir James, my daughter does not annoy you by her levity. I confess she provokes me.

Craddock. For my part I rather like it.

Jermyn. So do I, I assure you. Odd, though. Ha! ha-a-a-a !

Craddock. Come, Kate, let's have another dog story.

Kate. I don't think of any at present, but I will sing you a little cat song instead. {Goes to the piano and sings.)

Come all good people unto me, and listen to my ditty, And I'll tell you something very sad that happened to a

Kitty, This Kitty, too, you all must know, was owned by Aunt

Maria, And often dozed the whole night through, a-sleeping by the

fire.

One night this Kitty on the hearth lay snugly curled up, And Aunt Maria sat near by a-holding of a cup; And, sad to say, this cup was filled brimful of hottest tea, And what befell poor Kitty then was pitiful to see; For Aunt Maria dropped the cup thus filled with Chinese

water, And all the contents fell on Kit with most terrific slaughter.

There, now, I don't know what you all think, but I call that a rather feline ditty.

Jermyn. Capital ! Feline ! Feeling ! Good, that, now ! Ha ! ha-a-a-a !

Craddock. Splendid, Kate ! Splendid ! I remember Aunt Maria's cat. Mr. Jermyn's dog story is nowhere after that, and the best of the joke is, it is true.

Mrs. Craddock. Mr. Craddock !

Kate. But, pa, the dog story is more pathetic.

Jermyn. Yes, the poor little beggar died. But I have to meet a friend, so I must bid you good morning, ladies.

Mrs. Craddock. Sir James, let us have the pleasure of seeing you soon again.

Jermyn. Thanks ! Only too happy ! {Elaborately bozvs Jiimself out of the room.)

Craddock. And so, Mrs. Craddock, that's the precious blockhead you wish to throw my daughter away upon.

Mrs. Craddock. He's not a blockhead, and I say Kate shall marry him.

Kate. Oh, dear, how unfortunate ! I'll never be able to keep a poodle, he'll be using them all for cushions.

Mr. Craddock {laughing). And then, Kate, he would be all the time attending their funerals as chief mourner. What a doleful companion he would be to live with !

Mrs. Craddock. Mr. Craddock, you ought to be ashamed to encourage your daughter in her levity. The idea ! A snip like her ridiculing a man of Sir James' polished manners and refined education !

Kate. And so handsome, ma; red hair and a pale, freckled complexion !

Craddock. Yes, his head looks like a prairie on fire, and his complexion like a pan of buttermilk.

Mrs. Craddock. Mr. Craddock, your similes are atrocious. You are your daughter's worst enemy in thus encouraging her to disobey her mother.

Kate. Ma, I don't intend to disobey you.

Craddock. How, miss ! have you the impudence to tell me that you will marry that puppy, even at the instigation of your mother ?

Mrs. Craddock. She is my own daughter. She may laugh at your jokes to keep you in good humor, but she knows her true interests too well to disobey me in this matter.

Kate. You are right, ma, in

Craddock {interrupting). Have you conspired to drive me mad ? I tell you, miss, you shall not marry this Englishman.

Mrs. Craddock. And I tell you, Mr. Craddock, that she shall.

Craddock. We'll see. I'll go after him this instant and forbid him the house. {Goes out in a passion.)

Mrs. Craddock {running after hint). Stop ! stop ! Have you lost your senses ?

Kate {holding up her hands in astonishment).

Was ever little maiden placed in such a fix before,

As I by those stern parients just passing through the door ?

I will go after them and see that they do not come to blows. {Goes out.)

Craddock (re-entering). Thank goodness, they are going out for a while, and I will have time for a little quiet reflection. Some counter movement must be thought of to put a stop to this business. (Pauses in meditation}) I have it. Henrietta ! Yes, that's it. But I wonder if the girl is going to sleep till night. Poor thing, she must be very tired. Ah ! here she comes. (Enter Henrietta?) How are you, my dear ? Are you sure you feel quite rested after your long journey ?

Henrietta. Quite, thank you. I feel as fresh as a daisy.

Craddock. It speaks well for your constitution; there's nothing like country air to build that up. But, Henrietta, you are looking more than fresh. Do you know you are quite handsome ? and I am glad of it. How becoming that blush is !

Henrietta. Oh, Mr. Craddock ! I'll have to tell your wife if you begin to make love to me.

Craddock. Don't be alarmed ; I am not going to make love to you. As for Mrs. Craddock, if she thought I was making love to you, she would be delighted.

Henrietta. That's a queer state of mind for a wife to be in.

Craddock. Yes, to be sure, it's rather unl6 LOVE MADE TO ORDER.

usual ; but the circumstances which give rise to it are unusual. She would think it would take my mind off her nefarious designs. I have to keep my wits all about me to circumvent her.

Henrietta. Nefarious designs ! You astonish me !

Craddock. I am aware the word is a strong one ; but what milder expression can be used for a wife's deliberate attempt to destroy her husband's peace of mind, and break up his family; to scatter it to the four corners of the earth, as it were? [Excitedly.)

Henrietta [aside). This is rather wild talk. I wonder if there is anything the matter up here [tapping her forehead). [A/oud.) Can it be possible ?

Craddock. Yes ; strange as it may seem, it is a fact. You have heard of our English acquaintance ?

Henrietta. Sir James Jermyn, you mean?

Craddock. Exactly. My wife has actually gone mad on the baronetcy question. It is nothing but Sir James from morning till night. She even mutters his name in her sleep.

Henrietta {laughing). Jealous, I declare ! Oh. fie ! Air. Craddock. You don't think your wife would forget herself so far as to — to

Craddock. As to make a fool of herself,

LOVE MADE TO ORDER. \J

you would say. That is exactly what she is doing. She is thrusting my daughter on his attention in the most indelicate manner; with a view to matrimony, of course.

Henrietta. But has Kate nothing to say about it ? She is not a very passive individual. She is very apt to have a mind of her own.

Craddock. I don't know what to make of her conduct. Sometimes she seems to be laughing in her sleeve at the puppy, and then again she appears to fall in with her mother's views with great goodwill. Between them I am almost distracted. I have actually had an attack oi nervous dyspepsia on account of it. In the midst of it all I have had no one to confide in or consult with. So you see that you have come just in the nick of time. You can help me greatly.

Henrietta. Only point out the way, and I will be most happy to aid you. We must not let this Englishman take her away if we can help it.

Craddock. Bless you, my dear, I have a little plan. I want you to make love to the Englishman. That is the reason I am glad you are good-looking.

Henrietta. I see you want me to supplant Kate in his good graces.

l8 LOVE MADE TO ORDER.

Craddock. That's it, that's it; you have guessed my meaning.

Henrietta. And so you are willing to sacrifice me to save your daughter. For shame, Mr. Craddock ! What do you suppose pa would say to that ?

Craddock. But you need not sacrifice yourself. Don't fall in love with him, only make believe; lead him on to commit himself to you.

Henrietta. By false pretenses ?

Craddock. Oh, pshaw ! don't frighten yourself with ugly names. Call it strategy. You need not actually lie to the man ; just make yourself very attractive. Help him to deceive himself. Be sweet on him.

Henrietta. In other words, make myself a lump of sugar to attract this big fly which is buzzing around your daughter, much to your annoyance.

Craddock. You have my idea exactly. But mum, here comes Kate. {Enter Kate.)

Kate. Good morning, Henrietta. When did you get up ? I didn't wake you ; I thought I would let you sleep yourself out.

Henrietta. Thank you. I have been up an hour or so. Where have you been ?

Kate. I have been round with ma to see a poor old woman who had a child crushed by the street cars the other day.

Craddock. Where did you leave your mother ?

Kate. We met Sir James Jermyn, and she stopped to speak to him. I hurried home to see after Henrietta.

j Craddock. Confound that Englishman ! He seems to be prowling round in every direction.

Kate. You must understand, Henrietta, that Sir James is pa's bete noir.

Craddock. Why don't you say bete rouge ; his hair is red enough to justify the name.

Kate. It would be better, for the mere mention of him seems to have the same effect on you that the sight of a red rag has on a mad bull.

Craddock. Do you hear that, Henrietta? What would your father say if you compared him to a bull ? I would not have spoken so to my father ; but times are changed ; nowadays parents seem to be created merely for the amusement of their children.

Henrietta. She was speaking of a John Bull, and I suppose that made her think of the comparison.

Craddock. Good! good! I see you are not disposed to bow down before this idol of my wife.

Kate. Pa's only provoked because ma and

I think so much of him. He does not want me to marry him.

Craddock (coaxingly). Kate, now don't, don't say that you think so much of him.

Kate. If it is true why shouldn't I say it ? You know it is naughty to tell fibs.

Craddock. Did I ever think that I would live to hear my daughter say that she loved an Englishman ? It is enough to make her revolutionary sires rise from their graves.

Henrietta. It is not so bad as that ; she said, if

Kate. To be sure, I have not fully made up my mind.

Craddock. There's a dear, now, don't make it up ; let it air a little longer.

Kate. You talk about my mind as if it were a feather bed ; that's worse than comparing you to a bull.

Craddock. Well, you minx, if you desert your father and go across the water with this Englishman for the sake of being called Lady Jermyn, it will show that your mind is as soft as a feather bed and your heart as hard as a stone.

Kate. Thank you. If my mind is made of feathers you needn't be surprised if I fly away.

Craddock. Was there ever such a provoking little hussy ! I wish that I were a bull for a few moments, that I might toss you on my horns for teasing me so.

Kate. Listen to that, Henrietta ! Haven't I a nice father now ! Actually wishing to make a beast of himself! What would your father say if he heard him wanting to make himself a bull? {Mimicking her father})

Craddock (laughing). You little wretch ! (Shaking his finger at her.) But don't you marry that Englishman, now {going tozvard door) .

Kate. No," pa, I'll wait till you get back. (They all laugh. Mr. Craddock goes out.)

Henrietta. You have a very good-natured father, Kate.

Kate. Yes, considering that he is all the time flying into a passion.

Henrietta. But he seems to fly out as quick as he flies in.

Kate. Yes, his temper is always on the wing with him, and I like to bring him down now and then with an occasional shot.

Henrietta. He seems greatly worked up on the English question.

Kate. Yes, and ma is as bad in her way.

Henrietta. How about the Englishman himself?

Kate. Oh, he has not declared his intentions yet.

Henrietta. Then he intends to preserve his nationality.

Kate {laughing). At all events, he does not seem inclined to enter the state of matrimony. But speak, etc. {Enter Sir James, Bellair, and Mrs. Craddock.)

Jermyn. I have brought your mother home safe, Miss Craddock, you see. My friend, Mr. Bellair {introducing him).

Kate. Gentlemen, Miss Clavering {introducing her).

Bellair {aside in surprise). My acquaintance of the railway car.

Mrs. Craddock. Mr. Bellair has been telling us an adventure which has greatly astonished Sir James.

Jermyn. Yes, I confess I thought it quite queer, not exactly the thing, you know.

Kate. What was it ?

Bellair. Oh, nothing, a mere commonplace occurrence not worth mentioning.

Jermyn. What would you say to his forming the acquaintance of a beautiful young lady in the cars who was traveling all alone, mind you ? and the best of the joke is her mother sent her on the journey ! {Henrietta, who has been much embarrassed, leaves the room.)

Kate. You would not have had her go without permission, would you ?

Jermyn. Really now, you Americans are a queer lot ; you don't seem to appreciate the impropriety.

Bellair. Pray what is the impropriety ?

Jermyn (with a piizzled air). The impropriety ! It's odd, now, that I can't think of the right word, but it must be wrong, you know {brightening). They don't do so in England.

Mrs. Craddock. I agree with Sir James, there is a lack of proper dignity about it ; who knows but

Jermyn {interrupting). Thanks, Madame ! My idea! A lack of dignity — who knows but, yes but, that's it. Something might happen, you know.

Bellair. Something did happen in this case. I think I have fallen in love.

Kate. There's an argument, now, fit to upset all your sea-girt notions, Sir James.

Jermyn. I beg pardon ! Sea-girt notions ? ( With an inquiring look.)

Bellair. The sea surrounds your country, Sir James.

Jermyn. Oh ! I see ! Ha ! ha-a-a-a ! Sea-girt notions ! I owe you one, my fair antagonist.

Bellair. I think you had better retreat at present, for you are fairly vanquished.

Jermyn. I agree with you, I assure you ; au revoir, ladies ! {They go out.)

END OF ACT I.

Act II

{Mr. Craddock' s house. Enter Tredwell, letter in hand.)

Tredzvell. I wonder what the old lady can mean ? She says here {reading), " Come prepared to stay some time. I want your assistance in a matter I have set my heart upon." But I wonder why she keeps me waiting. I think I hear her voice in the other room. I'll see if she is there. {Opens door, disclosing Mrs. Craddock witJi her back to him before a mirror, bowing and talkiifg to Jierself. He stands astonished.)

Mrs. Craddock. I thank your highness for this honor ; my daughter, Lady Jermyn, will be here in a moment. Yes, thank you, the climate of England agrees very well with her. Indeed, we both find it delightful. Ah, my lord, much obliged to you for favoring us so early. {Bozving, as she does so she turns round y and seeing T. gives a scream, exclaiming!) Oh, Harry, how you frightened me. I declare, I feel quite faint. When did you come ?

Tredwell {advancing and supporting her to a seat). I have just arrived. Not finding you in the other room, I looked in here.

Mrs. Craddock. I was looking at the sit of my dress, and your sudden entrance startled me. How my heart beats ! Have you come prepared to stay ?

Tredwell. Yes, and I am quite anxious to know what it is you have for me to do.

Mrs. Craddock {with a grave air). Well, you see, Kate is of a marriageable age.

Tredwell. Is she ? Does she know it ? {With mock wonder.)

Mrs. Craddock. Your simplicity amuses me. Of course she does. At that age mothers have to handle their daughters very carefully.

Tredwell. Are they liable to break ?

Mrs. Craddock. Yes; their hearts, unless their affections are properly directed. You will see, then, that I am anxious to have Kate well settled in life.

Tredwell. And you need my assistance to settle her ? Is that it ?

Mrs. Craddock. I want you to help me remove an obstacle in the way of a match I have in view for her.

Tredwell. Is the obstacle alive ?

Mrs. Craddock. Yes.

Tredwell. Good heavens, aunt ! I hope you don't want me to kill anybody.

Mrs. Craddock. On the contrary, I want you to make love.

Tredwell. Is the obstacle pretty?

Mrs. Craddock. Quite.

Tredwell. C'est bien co?ivcnable, as a Frenchman would say.

Mrs. Craddock. Never mind the Frenchman. What do you say ?

Tredwell (in an eager manner). I agree with the Frenchman. I am eager to begin. Bring along your obstacle.

Mrs. Craddock. Hush ! Don't be obstreperous. You must go about this thing deliberately, in a business-like manner.

Tredwell. Well, then, to begin. Am I engaged by the day, or by the job ?

Mrs. Craddock. I engage you by the day till the job is finished.

Tredwell. I see I must read up on love. I must cram. Somebody wrote a book called the art of love. I'll get it.

Mrs. Craddock. Let the books alone and attend to me. You must understand that Kate has an opportunity of becoming the wife of an English nobleman, Sir James Jermyn. You may have heard his name mentioned.

Tredivell. I think I did hear the name not

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very long ago. {Aside.) That's the name the old lady was muttering when I came in.

Mrs. Craddock. Well, Kate has a friend stopping with her who seems inclined to set her cap at him.

Tredwell. The obstacle, you mean ? O, Lord, does she wear caps ?

Mrs. Craddock {laughing). I tell you she is young and pretty, and that is why I am uneasy; not that she is at all comparable to Kate.

Tredwell {emphatically). I should think not.

Mrs. Craddock {quickly). What's that? You should think not, eh ? What do you know of the difference between her and Kate ? You should think not !

Tredwell. Of course I should when you say so. {Aside?) What a suspicious old lady! I must take care, or I won't be able to make love by the day very long in this house.

Mrs. Craddock. It's a fact, whether you say it or not, but I am nevertheless desirous that you should attract as much of her attention as possible, so as to draw her away from the baronet.

Tredwell {with much gravity).

But, my cherished aunt, I pray Tell me what's to be my pay For making love by the day.

Mrs. Craddock. Featherbrain ! Is not love, like virtue, its own reward ? But I'll see that you get a more substantial compensation. I will have Sir James invite you over to England for the shooting.

Tredwell. Indeed !

Mrs. Craddock {going toward the door). And now I will go and bring her.

Tredwell. The obstacle ?

Mrs. Craddock. Yes, and you can commence operations immediately. {Goes out.)

Tredwell {musing). I wonder if the old lady is mad. Who knows ? She may be touched by the frost of age and her reason slightly withered.

Mr. Craddock {who unobserved has been sitting in a JiigJi-backed chair in the corner of the room, suddenly faces him, exclaiming). Of course she is.

Tredwell {looks up, stares at him for a moment speechless, and then exclaims). Uncle, did you come through the ceiling ? There seems to be a most extraordinary state of affairs in this house.

Craddock. Well may you say so ! If this thing goes on much longer it will be a case of straight jacket and bread and water. Did you hear her as you came in ?

Tredwell. She seemed to be going through some imaginary scene.

Craddock. You didn't understand it as well as I did. She imagined that Kate was married to this Englishman, and that she was in her house, in England, receiving some noble visitors, princes, and so on. She has become a monomaniac on the subject.

Tredwell. You overheard our conversation ?

Craddock. Of course. I have to watch her as a cat does a mouse, and I conceal myself in many a corner round the house for the purpose of finding out what I can. It is my only means of circumventing her. But she is sly! Oh, very sly, I tell you. One of the signs of incipient insanity, you know.

Tredwell. According to your own account you seem to have the signs pretty well developed yourself, uncle.

Craddock. Oh, with me it is different. But whether she is insane or not, I must save my daughter from her and the clutches of this Englishman, and you can help me.

Tredwell. What ! Retained on both sides ? But would it be fair to my client who has just left the room, to engage with you ?

Craddock. Pay no attention to her; I tell you she is mad.

Tredzvell. Then you would have me betray her?

Craddock. Of course ; treason to her is loyalty to Kate.

Tredwell. You have a very persuasive way with you. I think I will accept a retainer from you ; but there is an obstacle.

Craddock. The obstacle is not in our way. She is trying to make the baronet fall in love with her, so that he may not think of Kate.

Tredzvell. And I have engaged to make love to her, so that she may not think of the baronet. But as far as I can see, poor Kate is left out in the cold in this arrangement. She'll have nobody to make love to her.