The demon and the darling of the gods; a drama

Front matter

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Act v.— The People's Goat. Heading for the programs that are to be distributed to the audience

Act I is a Farce. The conclusion of the Farce illustrates figuratively the present condition of the public.

Acts II and III form a Comedy. The conclusion of the Comedy illustrates figuratively the hoped-for condition of the public.

Acts IV and V form a Social Problem Play, for which the Farce and the Comedy are an introduction and a preparation.

At first the devil and -afterwards the devil-lawyer is the evil genius of the play. In the play as a whole, the devil represents the evil, grafting spirit that animates the trusts and all those zvho bleed the public. In the farce and the comedy, the Dutchman represents the public. In the Social Problem Play, the clerk and his family are representatives of the public. The goat is the people's goat.

Act I.— A Farce

the; DUTCHMAN AND THE DEMON AND THE DARLING OF THE GODS.

A large Dutchman enters, dressed soniczvhat like a stage Dutchman and somezvhat like a G erman- American.

Dutchman (bozvs). — Some philosophers told you that you are living too high. To help you reduce the cost of high living, I will chant a little song.

When the Demon saw the Dutchman

He didn't like his looks,

And said that he'd give him

Five hundred and seven years

Of sauer-kraut and ashes —

But he hasn't got him yet —

But he hasn't got him yet.

When the Dutchman saw the Demon He wasn't scared a bit; And laughed to hear him say, "Five hundred and seven years Of sauer-kraut and ashes !"

For he hasn't got him yet — For he hasn't got him yet.

(A devil enters chanting. The devil has horns, feet that suggest cloven feet, and a tail.)

Devil — When the Dutchrnan. goes below.

And the Demon getS' his due.

He'll give that Dutchman Five hundred and seven years Of sauer-kraut and ashes !

Dutchman — But he hasn't got him yet —

But he hasn't got him yet.

Devil — Not yet but soon.

living tL filf ^Ik^^A"*** threaten to give the public a long period of plain r^Ztt. 7h.wft "^l"* staffs represents the efforts of the national government to regulate the b.g trusts with its big stick. The fist fight represente the efforts that have been made to regulate the local trusts.

Dutchman (looking at the devil and laughing) — When the devil saw the Dutchman, he didn't Hke the looks of the darling. I'm not scared a bit. I can whip any devil I ever saw, and I can whip you.

(They iight zvith varying success ivith dark, knotted staffs made from the branches of trees. Then the Dutchman throzvs dozen his staff.)

Dutchman — I can whip you with my bare fists — American style.

(They put up their fists, and prepare to fight. After a little equal fighting, the devil has a decided advantage. Then, the devil hits the Dutchman a number of hard blozvs, and forces him backzvard across the stage. The Dutchman in turn forces back the devil zvith several blozvs, and finally doubles him up and sends him reeling backzvard zvith a heavy blozv in the stomach.)

Dutchman (laughing) — Even good people don't like to see the devil getting all the dividends !

(The Dutchman forces the devil back and chases him about the stage. Then the devil turns on the Dutchman and gives him rough usage.)

Dutchman — If you chase the devil, he may catch you !

(After some more fighting, the devil strikes the Dutchman a heavy blozv on the jazv, and then holds the hand that struck the blozv as though it zvere hurt. The Dutchman holds his hand to his jazv for an instant, and then his face brightens.)

Dutchman — The devil struck the Dutchman and hit him on the jaw, but it didn't hurt him any — the devil broke his fist !

(A goat enters zvith ribbons and adjustable bells on it horns and in a red jacket marked on each side. The Darling of the Gods. The goat is trained to rear on its hind legs, to pazv the air, to nod its head, and to do other tricks.)

This is not a collection of jests but a very serious olav ae u,iii k^ „ a — 7T those who will read the Notes. venous piay, as will be evident to

Read the Notes at the end of the book for each Act before reading the Act.

Dutchman — Ah ! The darling of the gods ! Welcome, darling. (Speaks to the devil.) Here, take up the goat.

(The devil refuses, and the Dutchman lifts up the goat on its hind legs.)

Dutchman — I took up a task that even the devil rejected.

(The Dutchman makes the goat perform its tricks. He then kneels on one knee beside the rearing goat, and makes amusing gestures with the forelegs of the goat while he sings and the goat nods its head.)

ThS Mascot Goat.

I'm the children's friend and the sailor's mate, In the mock parade I ride in state —

If you sail or you row,

I bring luck as you know — I'm a mascot wherever I go.

I'm a mascot wherever I go — I'm a mascot wherever I go — In the regions above or the realms below, I'm a mascot wherever I go.

The admiral's frown when butted down Amuses me, for don't you see,

Though "Ad" may be

Of high degree,

I'm more secure than he.

I'm more secure than he — I'm more secure than he — Though "Ad" may be of high degree, I'm more secure than he.

(The Dutchman rises to sing the rest of the song, and the goat rears and paws the air, or does other appropriate tricks, at each chorus.)

The Mascot Goat.

Words by WILBUR CARRIER.

Allegro moderato.

Music by SAMUEL H. SPECK.

1. I'm the chiMren's friend and the sail or's mate, In the

2. The admiral's frown wten butt • eH down A - 'i I bring > ou fame in the base ball game— He m^^m

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ESfel mock par-ade I ride instate— If you sail or you row, I brirj; luck as you know— I'm a mus - es me, for don't you see. Though "Ad" may be Of hi.jh de - gree, I'm wins who holds to me. It is luck for all In tho game of ball, When you

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CopyriK'ht 1914 by Wilbur ("arner.

International Copyright secured

(The goat drops down zvith its legs doubled under it and with its head to the floor and bleats.)

When you lose your hold on me — When you lose your hold on me — The glooms get you and your title too, When you lose your hold on me.

(The goat rolls over on its back, and zvaves its legs, and bleats.)

Terry lost for he lost me — Terry lost for he lost me — He was all at sea when in lack of me — Terry lost for he lost me.

(Repeat this chorus.)

If you seek to gain wealth, health, or fame, Then hold your grip and me.

If you lose your grip All things will slip — Then hold your grip and me.

When you hold your grip and your goat !

When you hold your grip and your goat !

O, the joys that rise as you grasp the prize,

When you hold your grip and your goat !

When you don't let them get your goat!

When you don't let them get your goat !

O, the joys that rise as you grasp the prize,

When you don't let them get your goat !

Devil — Did you notice that the price of goats has raised ? Never did ? Well ! The price of goat meat has raised — ask your butcher!

The People's Goat.

Words by WILBUR CARRIER.

Tempo di Gavotte.

Muiic by SAMUEL H. SPECK.

Moderate.

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When thf Packers raised the price of meat, You and yours were completely beat. Their graft wai great, as

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I I you did note, For they stole your coin and got your goat- For they stole your coin and got your goat.

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The cries of the poor made a piteous plea, But they heeded not in their mer- ry glee; For the

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Pack - ers' camp had A - lad - din's lamp, When they got your coin and me. When they

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-rr got your coin and me— When they got your coin and me— The

got your coin and your goat! When they got your coin and your goat! The

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Packers' camp h^d A - laddin's lamp, When they got your coin and me. When they me.

Packers' camp had A - laddin's lamp, When they got your coin and your goat!

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The People's Goat.

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(The Dntchuian sings.)

The People's Goat.

When the Packers raised the price of meat, You and yours were completely beat.

Their graft was great, as you did note.

For they stole your coin and got your goat — For they stole your coin and got your goat.

The cries of the poor made a piteous plea, But they heeded not in their merry glee ; For the Packers' camp had Aladdin's lamp, When they got your coin and me.

(The goat drops dozvn zvith its legs doubled under it and its head to the floor, and bleats.)

When they got your coin and me — When they got your coin and me — The Packers' camp had Aladdin's lamp, When they got your coin and me.

(The goat rolls over on its back, ivaves its legs, and bleats.)

When they got your coin and your goat !

When they got your coin and your goat !

The Packers' camp had Aladdin's lamp.

When they got your coin and your goat !

{Repeat this chorus.)

Devil — Well! I never did anything like that!

Dutchman — Your name is Ananias ! Your brother started the scheme, and you helped it along.

Once upon a time, an avaricious shoemaker borrowed a fellow workman's wax. At first he said, "Lend me 'your' wax." Later he spoke of "our" wax. After a while he said, "Who's got 'my' wax?"

Devil — I never did anything like that either !

Dutchman — You are Ananias the second time ! You tempted that man to claim his brother's property. (Turns to the audience.)

This is a Dutch goat, but first he was an Irish goat. Straight! (Nods his head.) Straight Dutch-Irish joke! Mike McCarty raised him. When his boys were not fighting one another, they teased the goat. Back of Mike's place was a footbridge over a stream, and the boys would tease the goat until it charged them on to this bridge. The little rascals had a board to which they had fastened some rubber car springs stolen from the railroad company. They would raise this board on the bridge, and then the goat charging like a white streak would strike the rubber, bound up into the air, and fall splash into the water. That tickled the boys, and Mike nearly died laughing when he first saw it. One day the devil, just to make trouble, tempted Mike to play that little game himself as a joke on the goat. But Mike was not so nimble as the boys, as he stooped to raise the board, the goat caught him — and Mike sold that goat to me.

(The Dutchman beats time on his hand as he sings, and the goat rears.)

Mike sold that goat to me — Mike sold that goat to me — When he saw stars and the son of Mars, Mike sold that goat to me.

Mike sold that goat to me — Mike sold that goat to me — Yes ! when he saw stars and the son of Mars, Mike sold that goat to me.

(Repeat this chorus.)

Devil — That is a true story. I was there.

Dutchman — So Mike said ! and Mike told me that that imp of Satan was a discredit to the old Nick himself!

Mike and the goat and even the devil are witnesses to this story.

DARLING OF THE GODS H

Devil — I have been a witness before.

Dutchman (looking sideivise at the devil) — I know you have ! The lawyer on my wife's side hired you.

(The devil gives the Dutchman a vicious ram in the side with his horns. The Dutchman holds his hands to the hurt, and makes a grimace of pain.)

Dutchman — That makes the devil wag his tail! I'd just like to have a dollar's worth of demons ! I believe he's incorporated !

(At a motion from the Dutchman, the Dutchman, devil, and goat stand in a line, facing the audience.)

Dutchman (in low voice) — Wait till I get hold of the coat tail of that demon. (The demon has no coat.)

(The Dutchman and the devil put up their fists, and at a nod from the Dutchman they both strike at imaginary enemies in front while the goat rears, pazvs the air,' and nods.)

Dutchman — Fighting against the world !

(All three turn their backs to the audience, and iight at imaginary enemies at the rear of the stage. Then the devil, grinning, turns round toivard the audience, and with hand to mouth speaks in a stage whisper while pointing at the other tzvo that are still fighting backward.)

Devil — When the Dutchman saw that the battle was going against him, he turned about and fought against himself in order to be on the winning side !

(While all three are turning to face the audience, the Dutchman treads heavily on the devil's foot. The devil stands on one foot and holds the hurt foot with both hands while his face is conculsed with pain.)

Dutchman (laughing) — The Dutchman didn't see the devil, and stepped upon his toe.

Devil (trying to put his weight on the hurt foot) — That makes me feel faint.

*Some of the trusts have received some blows. The complaints of the devil about his hurt foot illustrate the whines of the street car, express, and railroad companies over the regulation of their rates. (See the simile and footnote on p. 34.)

n THE DEMON AND THE

Dutchman — I notice you don't wag your tail.

Devil — My big brother will get you ! He'll sauer-kraut your ashes !

(All three stand in line facing the audience, the goat rearing.)

Dutchman (bozvs) — You have seen the Dutchman, the demon, and the darling of the gods; and the darling was a mascot. If you should ever see a woman, a lawyer, and the darling of the gods, you may know that the darling is in trouble.

(All three bozu and turn to leave the stage, the Dutchman leading the goat. The devil snatches the goat and runs off the stage with it, meanwhile grinning at the Dutchman. The Dutchman chases the devil.)

Dutchman — Stop him ! Stop him !

(The Dutchman stops, puts his hands on his knees, and doubles up in agony as he looks after the disappearing goat.)

Dutchman — The devil's got my goat! The devil's got my goat !

Act II. The Woman And The Lawyer And The Darling Of The

GODS.

Characters of the Comedy in Acts II and III. Oscar Meyers, the Dutchman (the German- American

of Act I), a teaming contractor.

Agnes, his first wife (--an American).

Rose, his second wife (an American).

The doctor.

A devil-lawyer.

The Darling of the Gods (The Mascot Goat).

*The devil-lawyers represent the lawyers that framed the organizations of the trusts on unscrupulous lines. (See p. 38.)

In Act II the devil tempts the wife of the Dutchman. In the scene given on p. 27, a "good" lawyer gives "good" advice to the grocers. These scenes express the same idea in different ways. (See p. 39.)

AI

GENERAL NOTES

The Farce in Act I is an allegory and the Comedy in Acts II and III is another allegory. The explanations are given on the inserted leaves, in the footnotes, and at the end of the book.

The Play, and also the book as a whole, is written in the interests of the wage-earners (including salaried men), the poor, and the oppressed; and it is designed to aid in lowering the cost of living by showing the ways in which the local trusts have been bleeding the people, by designating and denouncing the grafters, by showing how retail prices may be regulated by local organizations of the plain people, and by helping to arouse such a public sentiment that graft will be suppressed in one way if not in another.

AN OPEN LETTER

Mr. Politician: —

If the plain people get an idea that there is a secret sympathetic connection between your party and the local grafters by reason of political contributions, that idea will greatly interfere with the support that the plain people now give your party. You must choose between the grafters and the plain people, for you cannot serve both masters.

The money and political influence of the merchants, as a class, have been heartlessly and unscrupulously used in the formation and protection of local trusts. Most merchants eith&r belong to an organized local trust or have an understanding with one another with reference to the maintenance of prices that practically makes them members of a local trust — members of a combination in restraint of trade.* Is it not time that you should use your influence for the enactment of laws prohibiting the giving of political contributions

•Most of the farmers' Associations also are combinations in restraint of trade. Without exception, all unreasonable combinations in restraint of trade oppress the people. These farmers' Associations control a large vote, but those who buy food could, if organized, control a larger vote.

by merchants? Would it not be better to enact laws that will require that all nomination and election expenses shall be paid by the State, and that will prohibit the buying or the selling of the influence of a political boss with a legislator? If each of the great political parties should cease its present dependence upon the campaign contributions of the local trusts, these parties would then, as you know, give more service to the people and less service to the local trusts.

If you have been sent to the capital of your State, should not your actions show you to be a champion of the people and not a champion of the local trusts? If you have done little or nothing to suppress the graft of the merchants, you have not been a friend of the people.

If you have been sent to Washington, and have been busy protecting the little trusts from the big ones, is it not time that you, as one of the leaders of your party, should use your influence in your own State in protecting the plain people from their oppressors, the local trusts that make the cost of living high? If you are unwilling to do so, you will be unable to retain your hold on the plain people, for you will be unworthy of their respect.

If you are "afraid" to commit your party to such a reckless policy as that of the indiscriminate abolition of graft, will you not exert your influence in the formation of local organizations designed to abolish graft? If each one of the great political parties could be induced to become the enemy of the local grafters, these grafters would be heloless. There is no such hope at present, for these parties prefer to be the friends of the local grafters (their financial supporters), but you might be a friend of the people.

GENERAL NOTES

In comparison with the leading countries of Europe, little effort is made in this country to prevent the local merchants from giving short weight and short measure, from selling impure or deceitfully adulterated or deceitfully defective goods, or from using false advertisements and recommendations. This shows at a glance the unscrupulousness of both the merchants and the officeholders as classes and the strong hold of the merchants of this country upon the politicians and oiiftceholders of all the leading parties.

It is well known that such misgovernment as is exhibited in the larger American cities would be a discredit to any civilized people. The merchants as a class are to a great extent responsible for this. They do not want officeholders that are too honest. They do not want any genuine reform for fear that their own iniquities might be touched— that their rapid money-making might be interfered with. For the well-being of their families and the honor of their country, it is time that the American people should remove this reproach.*

NOTES FOR ACT I

The fight with stafifs represents the efforts of the big trusts to control the national government and the efforts of the national government (through its agents, Roosevelt, Taft, and Wilson) to regulate the big trusts with its big stick. This conflict has been indecisive, for the big trusts have failed to control the national government, and the national government has failed to lower the cost of living noticeably by its dismemberments of the big trusts. If each of the smaller trusts into which a big trust is divided raises its prices, that does not lower the cost of living very much. The people will finally force the national government to regulate the prices of all the trusts that do an interstate business.

The trusts that bleed the people the most are the local trusts (chiefly organized merchants and farmers). The fist fight at close quarters represents the attempts of the people through their local governments to regulate these local trusts. So far in this conflict, the local trusts have had the advantage, for they have usually charged as high prices as they pleased, and the public has paid the bills; but the people will finally force the local governments to regulate the prices of all the local trusts — that will lower the cost of living, and then the devil will be whipped.

The expression of the Dutchman, as given on page 6, when he took up the goat, indicates the disagreeable task of those who reprove the grafters — a task intentionally made dis-

*When the plain people know enough to organize and to present a united front to the grafters, the grafters will vanish. The plain people have the votes and they can rule this country if they will. To keep you divided at local elections into factions called parties, is one of the devices of your enemy to hold you in subjection (see pp. A9, A20, A23).

agreeable by the grafters. The devil and his people try to keep things quiet. t They want no one to notice, to mention, or to interfere with their graft. They make a great effort to suppress "knocking." To this end, they and their agents use sneers and call those who oppose them and their works, "knockers," "tight-wads," "pikers," "muckrakers."t People who try to keep things quiet through a friendly feeling for the grafters, or because they receive some share of the graft, or through fear that exposure of actual conditions may injure the business prosperity of the city, — these people are allies of the grafters. For to aid in keeping things quiet is to aid in maintaining the present bloodsucking conditions. These allies of the grafters include many politicians, editors, bankers, real-estate boomers, and other business men. Also, the need of mutual support makes one grafter the natural ally of another grafter.

Agitation is the only means of arousing such a public sentiment and of forming such an organization of the plain people that frightened public officials will abolish graft or be replaced by honest men. An aroused public sentiment is all that is necessary. The rest will follow — if not in the better way, then in the worse way.

Who rule this country? Are they those who elect the officeholders, or are they those whose influence determines the names of the nominees or acts as a veto to the insertion upon political slates of the names of men who are to them undesirable? To whom do the officeholders usually show great deference — to the unorganized voters, or to those to whom they owe their nomination? Do the wage-earners

JThrough their advertisements the local trusts control the expression of thought in most of the newspapers and magazines. Also, they control the expression of thought in most of the theaters (including movingpicture shows) ; for the theaters are run to make money, and their managers do not wish to oflfend a group of influential patrons. When the organized local grafters say, "Graft is my child — do not touch it," the newspaper, magazine, and theater managers bow in submission.

tThe same man who denounces the graft of the big trusts and considers that in so doing he is a good citizen acting in the interests of the public calls a man who denounces the graft of the local trusts, a "muckraker." The schoolboy knows on which side his bread is buttered — the grafter knows on which side his pocket-nerve is connected.

(including salaried men) have much to say about nominations? If a special election is held to determine the nominees, and if some clique, or cliques, to which you do not belong, determines in advance the names from which you must make a selection if you do not wish to throw away your vote, do you actually have much to say about that nomination? Would it be unfair to the rest of the community if, for a change, the plain people should form an organization that would determine the names of the nominees?

If one only of the great political parties should dare to try to abolish graft, the grafters could crush that party. If the plain people, irrespective of party, would form in each city a local organization designed to fight the grafters and to regulate retail prices, grafting could be suppressed. Such organizations could force a lowering of the cost of living, and end the oppression of the people by the merchants; for, though the individual is helpless, organized men can do all things (see page A20).

Different people cite different things as the chief cause of the present high cost of living, such as too high a tariff, the large trusts, the increased supply of gold, the scarcity of cattle, etc. Many of these people arc grafters, or agents or allies of the grafters, and above all things else they wish to keep you quiet while you are being bled — to keep you quiet by concealing the fact that graft is the one great cause of high retail prices (high compared with the price of labor). Many others (not all) of these people are politicians. The politicians wish to use any issue that will serve as a cart to carry them to Washington or the State capital or the city hall or the courthouse. They give you little in return for your votes except enough specious performances to keep you quiet, and they dare do little to lower the cost of living because they are under obligations to their financial supporters, the local trusts. The hollowness of the claim that the scarcity of cattle is the chief cause of the high retail price of beef is shown by the fact that the retail prices of provisions and other necessities are high even when there is no scarcity. Also, it is not just that a combination in restraint of trade should be allowed to take advantage of a scarcity to make unreasonable profits. To raise a dust about minor causes, real or assumed, of the high price of necessities, is a grafter's way of distracting attention from his graft.*

The interstate trusts, local trusts, public officials, trade-folks, manufacturers, bankers, professional men, farmers, etc., are servants of the public. All servants of the public (except

*See p. All for a discussion of the effect of the increased supply of gold.

A6 ourselves) that bleed the public are grafters. All grafters, big and little, with their agents and allies and all those who directly or indirectly aid the grafters are reactionaries. Many men who call themselves progressives, and who are progressive with reference to the abolition of the graft of the big trusts, are themselves members of what is practically a local trust, and are a bad kind of grafters, hypocrites, and reactionaries.! Many a so-called progressive politician denounces the graft of the big trusts in scathing terms; but he does not really believe in a "square deal" for all — not exactly. He needs the votes of the farmers and the money of the merchants. These people are his friends. In the presence of their graft he is blind and deaf and dumb. "His spear knows a brother." Such a politician is a reactionary. Many men who call themselves progressives are reactionaries because they do not pull in line with the progressives but pull in a side direction and thus interfere with progress. Many men are reactionaries because they keep quiet and do nothing when they are imposed upon. They are the mud that clings to the cart wheel.

The conclusion of the farce (p. 12) represents the present condition of the public. The devil has got the people's goat! Those who bleed you, those who prey upon you and your families are your enemies and you should be theirs. "They have got your goat!" Will you continue so tamely to submit to their thefts? Will you be the mud on the cart wheel?