Child training

Preface

This book sets forth a system of training for a child under school age and lays out a course of lessons and drills that can be given a class or an individual by either the trained or the untrained teacher or parent.

It may recall the principles or theories of Comenius, Locke, Rousseau, Pestalozzi, Herbart, Froebel, James and others, but its practical applications are the result of many years' specializing in the education of young children.

It aims to avoid the faults so common in child training — sentimentality, effeminacy, emotionalism, mysticism, license under the guise of freedom, exaggeration of the unimportant or trivial, the attaching of imaginary value to the symbolic.

It emphasizes Drill and the Formation of Habits, the Cultivation of Qualities and Development of Powers by Drill. It aims to produce children who will be more observant and attentive, with more originality, more initiative and sharper wits, who will think and act more quickly, be better informed and more accomplished, more skilful with their hand's, more courteous and considerate of others, and above all,

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Preface

healthier animals. It should furthermore have a reactive effect on the teacher or parent who gives the course, instilling similar habits and qualities or renewing those obliterated by disuse and neglect.

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Success, mediocrity, or failure in life is usually due to only slight differences in education or character, not to any remarkable or notable variation. Just a little more of this quality or just a little less of that and we have individuals between whom there is a wide gulf financially, politically or socially. The ten dollar a week bookkeeper and the thousand dollar a week railroad president may have precisely the same preliminary education and display personally very similar characteristics. Both can read and write, both can spell, both can figure and it would be pretty safe to say that in these fundamentals the bookkeeper could do as well if not better than the railroad president. The thing that does differentiate the one from the other it may be difficult to isolate and name — still more difficult to measure, but it will be found in some physical or mental power or ability — not in any school acquirement or information. One man's superior success may be attributable to his initiative, persistence or industry, another's to his critical attitude of mind or to his dependability, while still another's is due merely to a cordial manner, or to his ability to say " no " to himself and to others.

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And yet in elementary education we set such great store by reading and writing which all children must learn and do learn nowadays, which are essential for one to have like air and water, but no credit to have from the very fact that everybody has them. It is no credit to a man that he can sign his own name but a disgrace if he has to make " his mark." Whether a child learns to read at four or eight, in a month or a year, whether he is taught by the Phonetic, Synthetic, Analytic or any other method is of little consequence; he will now learn to read eventually and in good time in any civilized community — but whether he observes accurately, has self confidence, the habit of initiative, an analytical mind, is skilful with his hands, can think and act quickly, is courteous and thoughtful of others — are things he may never acquire unless by direct drill and things which will be the ultimate deciding factors between his future success, mediocrity or failure. These habits and qualities should, therefore, not be incidentals in education — they are the things that should be done, while other things such as the three R's should not be left undone.

It is all right to postpone reading and writing till the child is six or seven or even older, but the numberless qualities and habits that go to make up character should be started with the start of life. The first seven years are the most important of all

X

In setting this bias, for life's route is one of a number of divergent roads. If the child takes the wrong one at the outset, each step along that road carries him farther and farther away from the right one and by the time he is seven he is so far along, that to get on the right road either he must retrace all his steps and start anew, falling hopelessly behind in life's race by this doubling on his course, or else he must cut across country with the fair prospect of losing the way entirely, getting on still another wrong road or never finding the right one at all. For example, a child who has had his own way, or pretty nearly his own way, from infancy till the age of seven, is so far along on the wrong road that it is almost a hopeless task to set him back and have him start on the right road of obedience. It follows, therefore, that to let the child " run wild " those first years is either criminal neglect or incompetence. The parent that does so is either lazy or ignorant, or more often both. Parents, as a rule, are sentimentally optimistic — " Oh, it will come out right in the end," they say. It may and we pray the good angel that watches over children that it may, but if left to chance it is not likely to do so.

Every normal mother wishes her child to be a better and wiser man than any she has known; she has visions of greatness for him, a career as " doctor, lawyer, merchant, chief," she dreams dreams and

xi plans for him a future in which he figures as a superlative character. More often than not, however, dreaming is as far as the matter goes whereas only effort will make such dreams come true.

For the first two or three years the mother is almost exclusively occupied, and properly so, with the child's feeding, personal hygiene and physical care, though it is a common experience to receive letters appealing for educational help even at this period. Up to this time she has had recourse to treatises on infant feeding and care and these have furnished all the information and instruction necessary beyond that which maternal instinct, very strong at this period, has supplied.

By the age of three or four, however, the child has learned to speak and has usually been instructed by the doting mother and a proud father in the choice of certain words and expressions, taught to count his fingers, to tell his right from his left hand, to speak " pieces " and to sing some songs for exhibition purposes. About this time, however, the mother begins to feel the need of educational help and advice. The child must be doing something, his intellectual life demands attention and the appeal is strong for a systematic course of training that will direct his native wits into worth-while channels, develop his mental side and educate him-.

But the mother is at a loss to whom or to what to xii turn. Against the methods and courses known to her she may have well founded prejudice. They may be too metaphysical, symbolical, not concrete enough for specific application. The objects aimed at may seem too mystical and elusive for the common sense, even prosy child of every day life. It is usually a better working basis to consider the child a " chip of the old block" than "a manifestation of the divine" or " a part of the infinite."

Furthermore, the information acquired may be entirely too abstract and remote from child nature. Cylinders and prisms have no importance or interest for the child as geometrical solids nor otherwise than building blocks. A knowledge of their names, properties and relation is not to be compared in either interest or value to that which horses, cows, butterflies or steam engines possess for a child.

Or the education may not be well rounded and comprehensive — only special features may be emphasized or only a few phases of the child's life be provided for.

Again, the education may seem to teach the child merely to play and the mother may not see the advantage or the object of such training. She is told that his plays and games, and other occupations make him more this or that, or the other thing, but she cannot see the results and they seem to her more or less mythical.

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Moreover, elementary training has not given sufficient weight or regard to sex differences. The education that is suitable for the girl is too feminine for the normal father's son. Sex characteristics are clearly marked as early as three years of age, and what is suitable and appeals to girls is unsuitable and even repulsive to the normal boy. Not to regard such sex distinction tends to make amorphous individuals and there is even danger of sex perversion. The boy who likes to play with dolls or at being a mother bird is an anomaly that should not be encouraged.

Therefore, to the average mother skeptical of such training, elementary education means reading and writing and perhaps some figuring, and so she sets to work to teach the child his A, B, C's long before such knowledge possesses any value for him, and little or no attention is paid to the many and varied other sides of the child's development and instruction.

The following system of " child training " is therefore offered in the hope that it may help the mother in realizing the high ideals she cherishes in her breast. Though the course is primarily intended for the child under school age, it may be acquired by a child of any age and should be so acquired if it has not already been.

Its most important feature is the Formation of Habits, physical, mental and moral; the Cultivation of D'esirable Qualities and the Development of Powers

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— not indirectly, incidentally or by roundabout methods but by direct drills.

The nerve cells — more properly the neurons — do not increase in man beyond the number he is born with, and " sense training " and " memory training " are impossible, if by that we mean increasing or developing the keenness of the senses, or the native retentive power of the mind. Our brain power, however, is increased by the increasing number of paths that connect the neurons and these paths can be increased. In other words, mental training is gained by increasing the association of ideas, by acting and reacting on them, by forming habits of attention, concentration, etc., by persistent practice in the direction we wish to excel. // you stimulate and exercise the brain cells properly you can develop almost any habits, abilities, tastes, facidties, you may wish.

The chief mental trouble with children, as well as with grown-ups, is lazymindedness. To force the mind into activity is therefore the first object of this training.

To those accustomed to the easy going, do-prettymuch-as-you-please methods of early instruction, much of the following work may seem too difficult, advanced or even impossible of acquisition by a young child but this impression is because they are unaccustomed to drill such as described in this book.

There is no such thing as making brain paths in

XV a hurry, but paths develop more rapidly when we are young, increasingly slowly as we grow old. Hence the inestimable importance of early forming of brain paths.

If you start early enough there are hardly any abilities that cannot be acquired, no matter what hereditary traits are to the contrary. Demosthenes, though handicapped by an impediment in his speech, therefore hereditarily unfit for an orator, became the greatest that history has ever recorded.

If you start too late there is hardly any great ability that can be acquired, no matter what hereditary traits predispose to it. No great musician, I believe, was ever made who started later than six years of age on the course of his art.

But it is not for the future alone, it is also for the present results that the following training is intended. It is to make children that will be a blessing — a joy to be with and a delight to have with you and, what is equally important, a delight to others as well.

XVI

CONDITIONS FOR TRAINING

A GROUP of your own and your neighbor's children between the ages of four and six, gathered together in your home, is the best arrangement for the training described in this book.

The home is the best place, because pre-school training is best given under the normal conditions and in the usual surroundings of everyday life. The idea of school, of a class or of a room especially set apart and equipped for lessons, is unfavorable to the best development. The nearer to the heart of the home, to the bosom of the family, the richer is the environment, and the nearer the child is to the center of his world. If, therefore, such a meeting-place is not feasible, then the conditions of the home should be simulated as far as possible.

A group is best, because, as Quintilian long ago pointed out, training with one's fellows — social life — ^is necessary for the best all-around development. Such a group of children should partake of the nature of a child's party or social gathering, and the various activities should only help to foster this idea. The parent or teacher then becomes merely a social director, training the child for proper living with and

xvii among his fellows. This, however, should not be construed to mean that the child's life should be all play; by no means — but work and play — business and pleasure — as in the home and family.

THE COURSE OF TRAINING

The course of training that follows is divided into eight parts according to the general character of the activities that make up a child's daily life, and a separate chapter is devoted to each part. These different activities are not clear cut however — physical at one time, mental at another, moral at still another — but, as in life, overlapping and merged. These eight divisions of the course are as follows:

Habit Drills (Obedience, Observation, Attention, Concentration, etc.) To form ^character and a basis for future edutional work.

Social Training (Common Courtesies, Conversation) To give training in courtesy, in bearing and forbearing, in language and expression. To stimulate action and reaction.

Story Telling

To present models for emulation.

To fire ambition.

To incite the imagination, etc. xviii

Physical Training (Exercises, Calisthenic Drills, Marches) To develop the body, form proper habits of carriage, correct wrong tendencies — round shoulders, bad postures, etc. — and to give poise, self-control and ability to handle oneself. Rhythmic Arts (Rimes, Songs, Singing Games, Folk Dances) To train in rhythmic appreciation, dramatic expression, and to give the child a repertoire of rimes, songs and dances.

Free Play (Plays and Games)

To teach principles of fair play and good sportsmanship, and what and how to play, as well as to give exercise and joy.

To train in alertness, speed, ingenuity, skill, accuracy, etc.

Manual Training (Modeling, Painting, Drawing, etc.) To develop manual skill and dexterity — the ability to " do things " with one's hands. To form habits of industry, persistence, precision, neatness, etc.

Information

To impart a knowledge of some of the fundamentals in nature, science, art, etc., including the beginnings of reading, writing and arithmetic.

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ROUTINE OF TRAINING

First of all, it is necessary to reduce the child's life to a routine — to a daily program — and adhere to it — to have a time for his work, for his play and for his other functions. Such a regulated life makes for the best present and future happiness of both the child and family.

The parent or foster parent should, therefore, adopt one of the following suggested programs, or arrange one to suit the special conditions, and carry out in each period the drill, occupation, business or activity as directed in the chapter dealing with that activity. Each day she should use one or more lessons or drills from each of the eight Parts, the course proceeding through all the Parts simultaneously, not progressing from page to page through the book.

In the case of a single child, or children in the same family, to be trained at home, there should be a definite daily period set aside for each of the eight kinds of activities — comprising in this case all of the child's waking hours, as suggested in the special program that follows. In other words, living and training should go hand in hand. It will be seen from this statement, therefore, that the idea of school in which there is constant direction or surveillance is not to be thought of, and that the Free Play will form a very large part of the day. The Habit Train-

XX ing should go on at all times, in rising, in dressing, at meals, at play, and not be limited to the special time set apart for drills in the regular program.

In the case of a group of children from different hornes, a concentrated program limited to two or three hours must of necessity be followed, but this should not relieve the parent from seeing to it that each child carries out the principles that have been inculcated — especially the habit drills, for in no case will two or three hours of drill counteract the effect that a dozen hours or so of license or contrary training in the home will have.

In any case, therefore, the parent must be conversant with the course of training and cooperate in it. She cannot shift the entire responsibility, and the teacher must acquaint the parent with the nature of the training and call upon her to see that the child is kept in practice at home. Furthermore, when the child enters school the parent should see to it that the habits are kept up, otherwise the pre-school training will be undone and wasted.

METHOD OF TRAINING

Most of the directions for training the child precede each group of activities and it will, of course, first be necessary for the parent or teacher to become conversant with these preliminary explanations, especially the one on Habit Drills, as the whole system rests on an

xxi understanding of the nature and importance of habits and the psychological method of forming them.

But there is a most important general principle to note here — Good Spirit is essential to all successful training and teaching. Get the child into a happy, interested mood, ambitious to do well, to excel and the actual teaching or drilling will be a joy and the maximum results will be accomplished with ease and delight.

This does not mean, however, that tears are always to be avoided. Some of the most valuable lessons of life are learned at the expense of tears. Beethoven, as a child, was made to practise the piano though the tears were running down his face. Nevertheless there is hardly any more important rule than this — Get the child into a good spirit and keep him in a good spirit.

Though most of the instruction and explanation of principles will be made at the time the occasion arises for their use, that is, preceding each period, the questions of Moral Training, Punishments, Rewards, Speed and Concentration are such general ones applying to all periods that they will be considered at once.

MORAL TRAINING

Sooner or later almost every loving parent wakes up some morning to find that his child, of whose uprightness, purity of mind, and untainted soul he was absolutely certain, has committed some act that dis-

xxii plays unbelievably shocking moral turpitude. If the parent had not been overweeningly confident that " The king could do no wrong," if he had not considered moral training superfluous in his case, if he had not neglected to drill the child in habits and fill his mind with admiration of the right and abhorrence of the wrong, the mischief should not have happened.

But if it has already happened the parent need not be discouraged. All children have some degree of unregeneracy, of perversion, of the animal, as you yourself know if you will only recall some of the thoughts and even acts of your own childhood, of which you may shudder now to think you could ever have been guilty. This is not by way of palliation but by way of encouragement. There is hope still for the boy or girl.

Lying, cheating, stealing, are hard names for very common faults of childhood, to which list must be added ill temper, selfishness and thoughtlessness of others. There are four chief ways to correct these faults and to fashion the best type of boyhood and girlhood —

By Appeal to Right,

By Building up Self-Respect,

By Story Telling,

By Drill in Proper Habits.

I. Appeal to child's sense of right, of what is fair and square, straightforward, decent, truthful. Avoid

xxiii the sentimental appeal. Threats of eternal damnation, " the goblins will get you " or more concrete punishments are all bad.

2. Self-respect may be made not only the greatest preventive of wrong-doing but the greatest incentive to right action and ambition. Appeal to the child's pride; make the positive suggestion that he possesses some desirable qualities or traits; this is the surest method of bringing about the realization of such qualities. Make him proud of his reputation for promptness, truthfulness, courage, of his erect bearing, courteous manners, and, in order to maintain such record — to live up to it — he will not cry when hurt, nor lie to save himself from punishment; he will carry himself erect, he will be on time, he will put forth his best effort to continue to excel. Therefore, whenever the remark is apropos, say, either to him or to others in his hearing,

" John is courageous."

" He is not afraid of the dark."

" He never cries when he hurts himself."

" He always does what he is told."

** He is very helpful."

" He is thoughtful of others."

" He can always be trusted."

" He stands very straight," etc.

In the course of time he will invariably try to live up to the opinion held of him.

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Conversely, no contrary suggestion should ever be made that the child is not all that he should be. Human nature lives down, as well as up, to its reputation.

3. Story Telling is another means of moral training — if stories are told that inspire emulation of a model or fire ambition and a regular period is provided for this. Imitation follows on admiration; whatever the child admires he consciously or unconsciously imitates. If he admires a policeman he will want to be a policeman; if the tight-rope walker at the circus, he will try tight-rope walking. A child who lives with heroes will become one himself, but good qualities must be made attractive, bad ones unattractive, from the child's standpoint. A story with a stated or an obvious moral is apt to be less effective than one where the point is more subtle. Goody-goody tales and those with an obvious moral are resented by a normal child, or make pious little hypocrites, or sanctimonious Pharisees.

4. Drill in habits of obedience, self-control, common courtesies, etc., provide an active and positive moral training. Provision is also made for these drills in the course that follows.

PUNISHMENTS

If the foregoing means of moral training are put in practice, and especially if the habit of obedience is

XXV formed — and It is first of all the habits that are inculcated in this course — ■ the necessity for punishment is reduced to a minimum. When, however, the necessity for punishment does arise, and there is no regime under which it does not and will not arise at times, care should be taken that the punishment is of the right kind and administered in the proper spirit.

A child's offense should be treated as a lapse which he will try never to repeat, or a failing which he will strive to remedy.

If feasible, the child should first correct the trouble or mischief he has caused, and then be put through some ordeal that will either practise him in right doing or impress the importance of right doing upon him, so as to prevent the repetition of the offense.

If he acknowledges his sin or his fault, the teacher or parent should first endeavor to have the child pass judgment and pronounce sentence on himself. If thus appealed to, the child will often be more severe on himself than even the teacher would be.

For example, the following hypothetical case should be suggestive:

The child has been told he must not play with his ball in the house. He does so and accidentally smashes a vase. The following conversation illustrates the ideal to be striven for though it is hardly to be expected that a child will answer in the following way without

xxvi suggestion from the parent and considerable practice in right moral thinking —

Parent: Did n't I tell you not to play . with your ball in the house?

Child: Yes, father.

Parent: And you did, and broke a vase?

Child: Yes, father.

Parent: You disobeyed me. You see the result. What do you think you ought to do about it?

Child: Never play with my ball in the house.

Parent: Yes, but won't you?

Child: I promise.

Parent: Yes, but what do you think you should do to make sure you will never forget again?

Child: Not play with my ball at all for a week.

Parent: Yes, but how will you make up for it?

Child: Take the pennies out of my penny bank and buy mother a new vase.

Parent: Anything else?

Child: Tell her I'm sorry it happened.

The appeal to the child's sense of what is fair and right or proper is the best appeal and will usually be met in the proper spirit.

But even if the punishment is pronounced or inflicted by the parent, it should be accepted by the child as right and proper. If it leaves him ill-tempered, sinister, revengeful or bitter, the proper effect is missing

xxvii and the parent should not cease till the right spirit is shown.

A child in a paroxysm of temper should not be argued with. If overwrought and upset, weeping and stubborn, he should either be left alone till the emotional storm subsides or an attempt be made to distract his attention to something far off from the concern that is causing him all the trouble.

A child should never for an instant be allowed to say " I won't." With each repetition of " I won't," he becomes more assertive and more disobedient by auto-suggestion. The very first time he says " I won't," he should be summarily dealt with, forcibly made to do what he " won't " and at once, so that he may expect the same severe treatment should he ever repeat the " I won't."

If the parent has made a point of having something done, he must insist on its accomplishment, and the child should never be permitted successfully to maintain opposition by force of tears or stubborn resistance. If, as a result of his obstinacy, his emotional state becomes extreme, the matter may be postponed temporarily but should be concluded later without fail.

Loosely to threaten, as many parents do, all sorts of punishments without enforcing them but rarely, encourages disobedience and utterly demoralizes a child- All warning threats are as a rule bad and should

xxviii not be made without deliberation, but once made, unless unjust, should be strictly adhered to and enforced.

It is unnecessary to make the *' punishment fit the crime " in every case. Herbert Spencer's theory that punishments should be " natural consequences " is not practicable.

For the turbulent or rebellious spirit corporal punishment may be permissible, though usually the best method is depriving rather than inflicting, the curtailment of some pleasures — dessert, a story — or denial of a privilege, such as entertaining a playmate.

There are several things punishments should not be.

First, they should not merely penalize, they should aim to be of future benefit; they should not merely pay back an old score, but either correct the error or prevent the recurrence of the wrong-doing.

Second, they should not shame nor humiliate, for the most potent appeal that can be made is to a child's self-respect and if the child loses this by being stood in a corner, black listed, held up to ridicule, shamed before one whose approval he values, he will never have quite the same spirit again.

Third, a scolding or " talking to " should not be a sentimental appeal to hypocritical emotions — " You 're breaking mother's heart," " I 'd rather be dead," etc.

Fourth, it is a mistake to impose the learning of lesxxix sons as a punishment, for in making studies a penalty and a task, the possibility of the child ever loving his work is spoiled.

REWARDS

All life is a striving after rewards. It may be for money, a prize, power, the pleasure in winning, love, honor, or simply the satisfaction in something well done. The attempt to purge education of all rewards is mere visionary sentimentalism. The more spiritual rewards are, of course, the most desirable and mere money or prize rewards the worst form, but that reward should be used as a stimulus that is most effective in bringing about the best results, in which must be reckoned the effect on the child's character. Money and prizes tend to make the child's motives sordid and mercenary and for that reason should be used only as the last resort with those to whom no other form of reward will appeal, but even such children should be gradually led to higher ambitions. Rewards that take the form of honors or privileges are the best.