The care and training of children

Front matter

Copyright^

COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT.

THE CARE AND TRAINING OF CHILDREN

Preface

FACTS ; these are what the average busy parent wants. The author was imprest with this need shortly after his former book, "The Baby," was published ; that little volume became the means by which was emphasized the demand for a book that should deal with the problems of the older child.

Time and again it was imprest upon the writer that a clear statement of general principles, written in a plain and practical way, and devoid of things which are yet beyond the possibilities of application by parents not specially trained, would result in cooperation on the part of most parents, and would eventually result in a clearer appreciation of the needs of the child and in the best practical method by which to meet immediately those needs.

This volume has been written with that object in view. Literary style, romance-weaving, everything in fact, has been subordinated to the giving of practical helpfulness.

Vlll PREFACE

It is practically true of child training and care that rapid advancement has been made at the cost of known values. With the substitution of the new for the old, or the up-todate for the out-of-date, there has come a relinquishing of things that makes us stop and question whether the new is really an advance. Whatever is of value in this volume has been caught from the contagion of great characters, conscientious parents and many books. To these characters, these parents and these books all credit is due; the only claim made by the author is to have put the facts into form for a clearer understanding and for a practical application of them. The uniform courtesy of the publishers commands my gratitude and an expression of my hearty appreciation.

Brooklyn, New York.

Introduction

NO CHILD is exactly like another child. Even in the same family, with the hereditary influences, economic conditions and surroundings the same, the different children of that family will be unlike. This fact is so common and self-evident, that parents often speak of it. Because of it the lesson should be learned early that it is necessary to study each child individually. It is necessary, in the first place, to have in mind that there are general characteristics common to all children, but we must then fully appreciate, that there are characteristics and peculiarities which separate one child from another. These must be sought out and studied, because neglect to do so will result in failure in dealing with the individual child.

Every parent will know these characteris-

X INTRODUCTION

tics and peculiarities after a brief period of observation. Such observation should be undertaken when the child is alone and when associated with others. Comparisons should always be made between the characteristics of one particular child and then of other children.

Knowing the individual child, the parent will be prepared, as no one else can be, to cope with any condition which may arise in its training. Further than this, the knowledge so acquired will prove helpful in situations in which a stranger must be called in for help. In all matters pertaining to child study and child life, broad general principles can be laid down, but there must be, in addition to this, study of personality in order to carry principles out in detail. A careful reading of the several chapters of this book will readily show that, even a conscientious carrying out of the principles suggested in securing right conduct in children, will often result in failure unless the particular needs of the individual child are studied and met.

For instance, an attempt to guide or eradicate forms of viciousness will be immediately doomed to failure, unless there is the prompt recognition of the physical basis.

INTRODUCTION XI

The part that disease of an apparently mild character may play in the formation and continuance of vicious habits is often unrecognized by parents. It is so easy to attribute a moral fault to moral weakness that the physical element may be overlooked and neglected. I am imprest more and more with the fact that children, as a general rule, are in greater need of attention to their hygienic surroundings, the perfecting of their nutrition and perchance the careful administration of a suitable tonic, than they are of discipline.

In following the suggestions contained in these chapters, the parent should not accept them as so many set rules, but should always consider them as helps to the solving of an individual problem. In practical use there must always come the modifications demanded by circumstances, in the various matters of clothing, diet, sleep, friends, amusements, and so forth, allowance should be made for the existing condition of things. But through it all there should come a recognition of the fact that the child's welfare demands the best that the parent can give; that no sacrifice that the parent makes in attaining the ideal will ever be wasted.

Xll INTRODUCTION

Used in this manner and in this spirit, the book will help to smooth over some of the rough places and in that measure make the child's development more symmetrical and his later life more efficient.

Contents

CHAPTER PAGE

I. The Child's Room . . . 17

General considerations — Ventilation, Heating, Temperature and Lighting — Evidences of deficient ventilation — Furnishings and Cleaning — Playrooms and the Sick room.

II

THERE is no use in denying the influence of custom and fashion even in the matter of the child's clothing. One will have to be governed to some extent by the prevailing notions- as decreed by those who have the fashioning of children's wear in hand, but much can be done by the intelligent parent in modifying these dictates so that the health and comfort of the child is not compromised.

As the child develops there will be a much wider field for choice and variety in the selection of the clothing and its materials, and this is particularly true in the case of girls. I believe that it is the part of wisdom to consult the child in regard to preferences, but always with the thought that the child's taste is to be educated and guided — not that he or she may unreservedly make a choice. It becomes quite necessary that the parent understand what the material of which clothing is made is supposed to do. Only in this way can a correct decision be made.

The Main Functions of Clothing

Wool Clothing

The main functions of clothing are : i. To provide a covering for the body.

2. For protection against both heat and cold, and particularly the former.

3. For its decorative effect.

The second mentioned function is the most important. Ordinarily we think of clothing merely as a protection against the influence of cold. It is very important to remember in this connection that of all the heat that is generated in the human body, more than three-quarters is given off by the skin. The giving off of this heat is brought about through the influence of the clearly recognized processes of heat radiation, conduction and evaporation. If the clothing be of such material as would interfere w T ith these processes, it fails in its most important functions and is therefore not entirely suited to the needs of the body.

There is abundance of experience to prove that the best protection is afforded against cold by wool. And further than this, the best protection is obtained from loosely woven wool; that is, one in which there is a good amount of air space between the fibers. Now, these two statements seem simple enough, but they need elucidation, because they are of prime importance. Let us consider first, the underclothing.

Why is wool the best fabric ? Because the fiber of wool acts in the process of weaving as no other material does. If the weaving is done loosely, the roughened ends of the wool fiber protrude to a considerable degree from the surface of the cloth or fabric. This protrusion brings hundreds of very fine ends in close contact with the surface of the body, and therefore keeps the fabric itself from coming in very close contact with the skin. This allows some air to remain between the fabric and the body surface, as well as between the fibers of the wool. This air is not in circulation, but remains still, and so it keeps out the cold better because still air is a poor conductor of cold. And further than this, wool is a much better absorber of moisture than most other fabrics. This quality is so marked that wool will not lose its elasticity even when it has absorbed its own weight of moisture. After it has become moist, evaporation from it takes place very slowly, and this is an added benefit, for with slow evaporation there is little liability of chilling the skin.

There is a decided disadvantage in wool which will appeal strongly to every housekeeper; that is, its liability to be partly destroyed by the processes of washing and ironing or rubbing. The ends of the fiber are liable to break off and the whole fabric finally becomes harsh and shrunken. Care in the washing will eliminate some of this trouble or delay its occurrence for a time, but inevitably there must be some depreciation in the value of the fabric as an article of clothing. To a considerable extent this disadvantage has been overcome by the newer processes of manufacture, so that it is possible to-day to purchase materials which are guaranteed.

There is a tendency to accept the rather plausible arguments of makers of certain fabrics, and so we find persons accepting as a fact, that natural wools are superior to all others because they are as found in nature. We can not follow nature blindly, and we do not. We cook our food instead of eating it raw as other animals do. The sheep wears his wool on the outside, and as a matter of experience, if he is skinned, his pelt makes a warmer covering if the wool is worn on the inside. It is not so much the material as it is the way that it is woven.

It must allow of air between the fibers. We wear several garments instead of one. Why? Not only because of decoration and utility, but primarily because several layers of thin clothing, by allowing air between them, keep up a greater protection than would the same weight in one garment.

Next in importance to the material of the Comfortable

. - Fitting of

clothing is the arrangement of garments, Clothes for no matter how suitable the material, if it is faulty in construction, it may be the cause of much discomfort to the wearer. If there is continued constriction at the waist, the organs in the upper part of the abdomen will be more or less displaced and retarded in their activities, and the viscera of the lower abdomen will be placed under unfavorable downward pressure. It occasionally happens that excessive constriction results in a congestion of the terminal bloodvessels of the nose, the ears and the eyes, all of which subsides if the pressure be stopt.

Constriction of the abdomen is apt to favor the development of ruptures, so that not infrequently such a calamity is occasioned through an unusual muscular effort while the abdomen is tightly constricted with a belt. Constriction of the neck may be the exciting cause of severe headache or of congestion of the head.

F^t . The modern foot covering is very con-

Coverings ° J

ducive to the retention of moisture and to chilling of the feet. It is almost impossible to secure a shoe which -does not offend in this particular, as well as in its shape. The natural lines of the foot are not followed, for if they were, we would have a triangle with the broad base at the outspread toes and the apex at the heel. But our shoes are just the opposite, and are made of material that does not allow of ventilation. Patent leather is particularly objectionable on this latter account.

In the winter, with climatic changes coming as suddenly as they do, it is best to protect the child's legs with woolen stockings. It is a necessary precaution that the child's feet always be kept warm, for chilling of that portion of the body for any considerable length of time is a frequent cause of ill health. Only in the most extreme cold weather are leggings necessary. If worn to any great extent, they make the limbs less resistant to sudden changes, and are then a menace rather than a protection. Usually, they are made of leather, or some equally harmful material, which does not allow of any ventilation, and the child's limbs are encased in a covering which limits the healthy action of the skin of those parts.

An ill-fitting garment or shoe, by making continued pressure at one point, or allowing rubbing, may be the cause of skin irritation in a sensitive child. This irritation reacts upon the little one's nervous system, and the child fidgets and fusses because of it, and may even become mildly ill from that cause. New flannel next to the skin will also do the same thing in nervous children with sensitive skins. The child should not be expected to fit its clothes, but the clothes should fit the child.

The outer clothing of the child should be £ he t $" ter as well-fitting as possible, so as to promote the comfort of the body and convenience in exercises and games. The material may be tasteful, but it should not be so expensive that the parent will be fearful of the child "mussing" his clothes. While the clothes should fit, there must be no restriction of any part of the body, and clothes must be so planned that they will allow of the freest use of the different parts of the body. If a

Clothing and Exercise

Neck Wrappings boy or a girl is to enjoy its games, there must be clothing which does not interfere with the running, jumping, and other more or less violent exercise, which all normal children take.

It is a very difficult matter to regulate the child's clothing, so that, under the constantly varying conditions of violent exercise and subsequent rest, there will be proper protection. Until the time when the child is sensible enough to cooperate in this matter, and remove its excessive clothing when active, and replace it when a period of inactivity follows, most of our dependence for protection against chilling must be placed upon good underclothing. But even a very young child will protect himself in this situation, if the reason for it is explained to him. The difficulty is that most parents overdress their children, thinking that in so doing they prevent chilling of the body, but a child who is moist with perspiration is in far greater danger of taking cold, or being rapidly chilled, than is his playmate who has less clothing, but of quality which protects him.

And now a word of caution in regard to the habit of bundling up the necks of children with the thought that it protects them from taking cold. There is no more certain way of making a child's resistance to attacks of sore throat poor than using a scarf or kerchief about the neck. It renders the skin tender and non-resistant to changes of temperature, and adds a weakness instead of protection. If the child is subject to throat trouble, the neck-wrappings should be left off, and local bathing, as advised on page 57, indulged in.

Ill

DIET

THERE is a very marked difference in the lives and activities of the child and the adult. The difference makes it necessary that food be so selected that it shall best meet the peculiar needs of each. The Amount The child's metabolism is much more

of Food

active than that of the adult; he consumes more of the different elements of food and destroys much larger quantities than his elders. This is because the child must not alone supply its system with material to repair customary waste, but in addition it must supply the elements for continued growth and development.

These needs are such that the average child between the ages of five and fifteen years will demand a supply of almost twice the amount of proteid (compounds of hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, etc.), and contained largely in meats, vegetables, eggs, and milk, in proportion to his weight than an adult.

It must not be understood bv this that a

DIET 39

child will require twice the amount of meat, for instance (which is very rich in proteid), as the average adult eats, because I have taken the trouble to determine that the average adult eats about four times the amount of meat which is actually required by his system. Therefore, accepting this average, the child's portion would not be twice that unnecessary amount, but twice the amount actually needed by the adult. Roughly speaking, then, the amount needed by the active child would be about one-half of what the average adult actually is in the habit of taking.

It might seem from these statements that Eating with

° the Adults

it would be a trying task to regulate the child's food to meet its needs and still have the child contented at the same table when with older members of the family. But this is not so, for if the parent understands in general the food value of certain articles of diet, it is a simple matter to adjust the meal to the needs of all.

A diet list looks a great deal better upon paper than the articles do on the dinnerplate. We can not lay down any hard and fast rules in regard to the matter, for what will benefit one child may harm another.

Even in the same person there are times when an article of diet will agree perfectly and be palatable, while at some other period it will cause distress. There are so many factors that affect the digestion of children (as activity, convalescence, individual peculiarity, habit, etc.) that the most that can be done is to give to the parent some general rules and allow the judgment of the parent and the needs of the child to influence the selection. This, of course, applies as much to the amount of the food taken as to its kind and variety.

Overeating Overeating is a very common fault.

There is no doubt that most people take more food than is necessary for them, and quite a number go further than that and partake of much more than is good for them. This is particularly true in childhood, when they have not had the benefits of the necessary experience and guidance. If more food is taken than is required, then additional work is thrown upon the eliminative forces of the system to get rid of it. Habit plays an important role just here, and many believe they could not get along well on less because habit has been so strong.

There is much greater danger that a child,

DIET 41

if left to itself, will eat too much, rather than that he will eat too little. It is impractical to lay down rules as to exact amounts of food which are required, for rules must be adapted to individual cases and under definite circumstances.

Mastication thoroughly done is very es- Mastication sential in partaking of food. It is commonly neglected because of the habit, which most children are allowed to acquire, of thinking that partaking of food is something which interferes too frequently with their games or outings.

In some children faulty preparation of food for the stomach is undertaken in another manner; they masticate the food well and then wash it down with rather copious swallows of some fluid, usually water. In its results this is as harmful as incomplete mastication. Both habits are apt to lead to disordered digestion, or a chronic state of indigestion in the stomach and the intestines. Even in the matter of the softer foods, as oatmeal, soups and the like, the food should be taken slowly, so that, in its slow passage through the mouth, it may be thoroughly saturated with the saliva. But perfect mastication can not be accomplished unless the

Intervals Between Meals

Eating Between Meals

Eating Before Retiring teeth are in fair condition, and if the teeth are poor, they must receive the attention which their importance demands.

When a variety of food is taken, it requires several hours for the stomach to complete its work; therefore, it is important that there be a sufficient time intervening between meals to allow the organ to get rest. It has been quite clearly demonstrated that an interval of from four to five hours is needful. If this required interval is persistently disregarded, the stomach can not completely perform its function and the health of the individual suffers.

It is clearly to be seen, then, that eating habitually between meals is not consistent with the maintenance of health, as it places too constant work upon the stomach. The partaking of food between meals, or at a lessened interval than four or five hours, should be reserved for cases of illness, when a smaller amount of nourishment more frequently taken may be of benefit until strength is restored.

Eating before retiring is unnecessary in the life of the child, because there should be such a regulation of its hours that the necessity for food late at night will not arise.

DIET 43

If an early supper has been partaken of, and the child, from some unusual circumstances, has been kept up until a late hour, or five hours have elapsed between the time of retiring and the last meal, there can be no objection to giving some very light nourishment, such as a glass of milk (warmed) and a few crackers, or stale bread, or a cup of beef tea or broth. But such nourishment must be small in quantity and light, because during sleep the powers of digestion are not as active as usual, and the meal must therefore be one that is readily digested. If it it not, then sleep will be restless and unrefreshing.

Flesh foods of different kinds are rich in Flesh Foods proteid. Their action on the body, when taken as articles of diet, is practically the same no matter what the kind of flesh or its color. It has been quite conclusively proven that white meats are similar in their action to red meats, and where one is forbidden, both should be. In all meats there is naturally some difference, because the digestibility of a particular kind of meat is influenced by the powers of the digestion in the child, the state of its health, the manner in which the meat is cooked and the part of the animal from which the meat is taken. But disregarding these differences, we might make the general statement that meat that is in the first place tender, and then well prepared, is easy of digestion, if taken in small enough quantities.

F»sh Fish occupies a peculiar place in the di-

etary of most people, being very highly prized, and the different kinds of fish are valuable articles of diet to most persons, but some few children never digest them well, and in this case, their addition to the diet should not be insisted upon. Eels, mackerel and salmon are rather hard to digest, because of the richness of their meat, but the leaner fish are nutritious and easily digested by children. As an article of diet, weight for weight, fish is of somewhat less value than meat. There is nothing, in fact, in the commonly accepted theory that a fish diet is particularly beneficial in its effect upon the nervous system and the brain.

Eggs Eggs are not always well digested by

children; in fact, there are many who do not relish them and can not digest them thoroughly. If they are well digested, they act as a most concentrated nourishment. A raw egg is about equal in point of nourish-

DIET 45

ment to a half-pint of milk, or to several ounces of meat. The more an egg is cooked the more its value as an article of diet is destroyed. An uncooked egg is the most nourishing, a very lightly cooked one somewhat less so, but when an egg is hard-boiled its food value is practically destroyed.

Of the two parts of the egg, the yolk offers the most nourishment, being richer in proteid, mineral matter and fat, while the white is less so, but more easily digested.

Milk is undoubtedly the most perfect food Milk of which we know, having in it all the necessary elements for growth and maintenance. If its use as a regular article of diet in childhood was more common, the general health and tone of children would be better. The difficulty is that, when taken, it is usually administered in an improper way. It is not best to drink a glass of milk right down, or even to drink it slowly and without some other food with it. The proper way is to take it with a meal and make it a part of that meal. There is a very common belief that milk disagrees with most children and causes in them a state of constipation. It is not the food that does this, but the manner in which that food is taken.

Cream

Buttermilk

When the supply of milk is known to be good, there is no necessity for heating it. Raw milk is the best, if its purity is assured. There may be times when the purity of the article may be in question and it is then wise to heat it, or even to boil it. But when so treated the milk is not digestible, nor so nutritious, as in the raw state.

Cream contains much more fat than ordinary milk, but is not so well taken care or by the stomach. It is not so rich in proteid material, which is an important element in growth.

Buttermilk is also a splendid article of diet, altho not as nutritious as ordinary milk. It has distinct use in instances where an abundance of fat is not required, or where the fat can be supplied by other articles of diet. It becomes serviceable in those instances in which milk is known to disagree, or when the palate begins to rebel against its continuance. It can now be easily and artificially prepared in the home by the addition of a proper tablet to fresh milk. These tablets are obtainable at the drugstores and the method of preparation is very simple.

Butter should be allowed to children

DIET 47

freely, for it is an excellent addition to the diet, and probably the most valuable and palatable of the fatty substances used at the table. It might be supposed from this that its value was not interfered with by frying, but this is not the case. When cooked, butter develops acids which render it very difficult of digestion, and that is one reason why so many children are unable to take fried foods more freely. These acids interfere with the function of the stomach, so that when butter is given it should be used in the fresh state.

Cheese contains about three times the cheese amount of nourishment, ounce for ounce, that meat does. It is a valuable article of diet with certain restrictions. It must be well masticated (therefore the harder cheeses are best, as they require thorough mastication). It must be taken in moderation, and with other food (as bread or crackers), and not at the end of a meal, when it places a heavy tax upon the digestion.

Vegetables require long cooking, as a rule, vegetables to make them suitable as articles of diet. When so treated, they usually contain about one per cent of solid and ninety-nine per cent of water. This is especially true of green vegetables. Potatoes and some of the white vegetables are an exception to this rule, because they contain a very large amount of starch. Vegetables should not be taken in large amounts, or to the exclusion of other foods, because they do not furnish sufficient material for growth and development in childhood. As additions to the diet, they have some value, but if made the foundation of the meal they do not meet the requirements of the growing child, cereals Cereals are rich in all of the elements

needed for body development. In childhood they should form a very large part of the dietary. They are easily digested, if properly prepared. One of our chief difficulties is that we are living in an age of ready-cooked foods; cereals form a large percentage of these. Most of them are undercooked, altho the manufacturers would have us think otherwise. All cereals should be well cooked to secure their full advantage, and the variety should be such as will please the palate of the child. Most of them, when well cooked and served with milk, contain all the requirements for perfect nutrition. All through the period of childhood the

DIET 49

foundation of one meal should be a cereal and milk or cream. Usually this is best taken for breakfast and the supply should be liberal. The habit of taking it should be formed very early in life.

Fruits are composed largely of water (8o Fr "it to 90 per cent), sugar, acids and cellulose. When thoroughly ripened and tender, they are valuable additions to the diet of the child, because they supply one element which is absent in other foods. But they must be given in small quantities and when the stomach is not filled by other foods. It this precaution is neglected, they are very apt to cause disturbances of the digestion, with the production of large quantities of gas. The most easy of digestion are peaches, apples, plums, cherries and grapes. Bananas are the most indigestible for most children. If given, this fruit should be peeled and then the edible part of the banana scraped so that all the fuzzy covering is removed.