Trials and triumphs of a young preacher, with additional notes

Dedication

To the ministers and members of the Methodist Episcopal Church, South, who have in so many ways been helpful to me in my Christian life during all these years of "trials and triumphs," and to whom I am due a debt of gratitude I shall never be able to pay in this life, this volume is most respectfully and affectionately inscribed. E. G. Kilgore.

Preface

While waiting at the bedside of my sick wife day and night through many long months it occurred to my mind that, as I could not get out to do any work in my loved employ, I might spend the spare moments in jotting down some notes of my past life, which might be appreciated by my children, if no one else would be benefited by them; but the work was made such a blessing to me — in thus living my life over again — that I decided that if these notes could be put into book form and given to the public some might be profited by my mistakes as well as encouraged bv the limited success that the Lord has given me in his work. And I now send it forth, feeling assured that if the reader gets out of these pages approximately the good that the writer got in preparing them the end for which the book is published will be fully accomplished. My prayers will go with it on its journeys.

E. G. Kilgore. (5)

INTRODUCTORY NOTE.

In this volume the reader has presented to him the experiences of thirty-five years in the Christian ministry. Sixteen years of this time have been spent in the regular pastorate, fourteen years in evangelistic work, and the remaining five years at the bedside of the sick — most of the time. During all this time I have traveled more than a hundred thousand miles in as many as twenty-eight States and Territories, with visits to the Republic of Mexico and the District of Columbia. I have held revival meetings definitely in twenty of these States, in which more than ten thousand conversions have been reported, with upward of eight thousand additions to the Church. It has not all been smooth sailing by any means. There has been a recurrence of calm and storm, sunshine and shadow, grief and joy, pain and pleasure, hardships and happiness. "The rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon the house; and it fell not : for it was founded upon a rock."

Contents

PAGE.

I. Family and Birth n

II. The War 14

CHAPTER I. Family and Birth

The writer of these pages was born in Calhoun County, Miss., November 30, 1856. My father and mother were natives of Darlington County, S. C, where they grew up together in the Hartsville neighborhood, and were married in 1838. A little more than a year later they moved, with a large number of others, to the above-named State and county, where they lived the remainder of their lives.

My mother's maiden name was Huldah Hay. Her people all remained in the old State, except one sister, Mrs. Cruthirds, who accompanied her to this new country, and reared an interesting family here. Father's people, including his father, mother, five brothers, and one sister, all came with him and settled in the same community, only one sister being left in South Carolina. They were farmers and mechanics. The long journey from South Carolina was made through the country in wagons, and required six weeks to make the trip. There were no railroads then. They reached Mississippi in the early spring, and struck camp in a great forest of trees, at least three miles from the nearest white settlement. Before they had time to build a shelter of any kind it began to rain, and continued raining incessantly for three days and nights. They had only their wagon sheets and such other things as could be provided for shelter. No doubt some of them, if not all, had a good case of the blues, if people then were like they are now. The rain finally ceased, the clouds rolled away, and it was but a little while until they had built shelters, then houses, and were soon comfortably quartered in their new home.

My father soon moved to himself; but he cleared land and built houses on two or three places before he settled permanently, and had thus done a great deal of hard, heavy work. When he selected for himself a permanent home, it was but a short while before he had opened a little farm of probably forty acres and built houses needed to begin with. When I try to picture to my mind the old home, I see a large, single log room, without side room or veranda, fronting the road on the north, with the kitchen, with puncheon floor, at least thirty feet to the south; a smokehouse a few feet southeast of this; a barn with stalls for stock, wagon shelters, etc., sixty yards southwest from the other buildings. The spring from which water was brought for all purposes was located at least two hundred yards west from the dwelling. The cleared land was cut up into six- and twelve-acre blocks by cross fences for pasturage as well as other convenient farming purposes. Other improvements had been planned which would have rendered the home much more attractive and comfortable ; but father died before these plans could be executed. I have given this description of the old home here that the reader may form some idea of the amount of work required to accomplish all this — beginning in the woods, in a heavily timbered country, where there was not a stick amiss, and no one to help but a hired hand, and many other demands on them incident to a home where there was a large family.

When father died, mother was left with seven children to rear — three girls and four boys — and the eldest son only nine years old. Two children had preceded him to the good world, and one followed soon after, thus leaving the seven. I was the youngest, and never saw my father. But as father had been able to gather about him a good supply of stock — such as horses, cattle, hogs, sheep — and other things needed on a farm, mother was able to keep things going for a time, though she had had no experience in outside work; and, too, it seemed that everything worked against her, as will be seen in some future chapters. Father and mother were both Christians, and Methodists, and mother lived to see every child she had reared in her own Church and working for Christ and his cause. I was a preacher eight years before she died. But there were many things to be recorded before the above results of her life and teaching could be accomplished. All this succession of events, frequently full of affliction and disappointment, could never erase from the minds of the older children the influences of the family altar, with its morning and evening devotion, as practiced by my father, or the deep piety of my mother. Still the whole country became greatly demoralized, as will be shown hereafter.

CHAPTER II. The War

As may be noted from the dates given in our chapter on "Family and Birth/' my father had been dead only five and a half years when the War between the States was declared. Then followed that great strife which left this whole country, especially our beloved Southland, in a state of destitution and ruin. Our fields and orchards were stripped of all fruitage, our horses were taken, our cattle and hogs and other stock were driven off, and many of our homes were plundered and robbed. Thus many — I might say a majority — of our people were left in the most abject poverty, and that, too, when those upon whom we depended most were away from their homes and families, fighting for what they believed to be their rights. There were none who realized more keenly the effects of all this than the widows and orphan children already in the land. Although I was only a small child, from five to nine years old, during this awful struggle, still I can now recall very vividly and painfully some of the sad and trying experiences that came to our home.

Mother had moved along as well as could have been expected, I presume, until these troubles came; but after this it was a great struggle with her all the time to provide for her children. Often there was nothing to sustain life but dry bread, simply made up with clear water, with no seasoning of any sort. If we had salt for anything, we frequently had to resort to digging up the smokehouse or the old cow lick in the field, and take the dirt thus secured and carry it through a process similar to that of making soap to obtain this necessary commodity. And referring back to the question of bread, it was not unfrequent that the corn of which our bread was made had to be ground in the steel mill. This was a mill that was operated by hand similar to a coffee mill. Many a time I have gone with my mother or sisters to a steel mill owned by a neighbor of ours late in the evenings or early of a morning to thus grind meal for the following day. When it was convenient for us to patronize a larger mill, it was one known as a horse mill run in conjunction with the old gins then in use. It took four horses and two drivers to operate this, and then it was rather a slow process. When our corn was taken to one of these last-named mills, I usually had to carry it on my shoulder, as we had no horse, and my brothers were all hired away from home the greater part of the time after they were old enough to work to help mother in the matter of providing for the family ; hence I, being the youngest, was the only dependence at home. I could take only a half bushel of corn to mill at a time, as the distance was from one to two miles, and it must be remembered that I was only a child yet. When my brothers were paid for their work, it came in as a very great help to us; but they were frequently swindled out of their wages or paid off in mere trash.

During the war and before the times already mentioned an incident occurred which I remember well. We had killed four small hogs, which were to serve as our meat supply for the year ; and this would require economy. The meat was put away in a big box in the kitchen end of the house, and the night following some thieves entered and took away every piece of it. They didn't leave us even a meat skin ; and so this year had to be passed as some others — without this article of food. About this time a regiment of soldiers passed our way and stripped our orchard, and thus we were left in extreme want. But somehow or other mother managed along so as to keep us living. I have known her to ride all day and until after night to secure bread for herself and children, and then sew until after midnight to make our clothes. But further reference will be made to the question of food and clothing; and we therefore conclude this chapter by saying that the good Lord alone could have brought my poor mother through this trying ordeal. But he has promised to be a Husband to the widow and a Father to the orphan ; and so we have found him faithful to his promises.

CHAPTER III. Other Sources of Supply

Ours was a wooded country, quite hilly and rough, and the abundance of underbrush afforded a good hiding place for wild animals and game of every description. There was no scarcity of rabbits, squirrels, opossums, and coons, as well as turkeys and deer; and it was an easy task to go out and bring in a good supply of this game at almost any time. Most families were well stocked with a good representation of the canine tribe for rounding in this game, and of this dog family there were some adapted to bringing in one kind of game, and others for other kinds. There were rabbit dogs and opossum dogs and dogs especially suited for the chase (I mean for foxes and deer) ; and when a dog had been specially trained for any particular line he was scarcely of any value for anything else. Besides the game already mentioned, the woods were full of herds of wild hogs ; and as most families had a claim, there must be dogs trained for baying these. Only a very few seemed adapted to this kind of dog business. There was no one at our house who could take much interest in the chase of any kind; but it had fallen to our lot to come in possession of one of these last-named dogs trained for baying wild hogs, and people would send from five to ten miles distant for "Old Drum ;" and when the chase was over they would usually, to a limited extent, share their profits with us, 2 (17)

and thus in the economy of providence this old dog was used in helping to bring in a support to our family during this time of need.

I have often wondered how my poor mother ever passed through this stormy period when there was such almost universal destitution and want; but when it is considered that the good Lord can send help through the agency of a dog, it need be no astonishment that we were brought through safely. It will be remembered that God commanded the "ravens" — whatever they were — to bring Elijah "bread and flesh in the morning, and bread and flesh in the evening/' until the brook had dried up; and then the Lord sent his prophet elsewhere for a support. And when our Saviour wanted to make his triumphal march into Jerusalem, he borrowed an unbroken colt to carry him in, in the midst of the hosannas of the worshiping multitude. In all ages he has chosen such agencies as he would to carry on his work; and thus our good old dog was used. I have thought that if there could be a heaven for the faithful of the brute creation "Old Drum" would certainly have a place there, as he was so faithful in the performance of the duties that seemed to have been assigned him in the economy of providence. Much more might be said as to the manner in which our tables were often supplied with the other kinds of game mentioned; but enough has possibly been written here, except to say that the forests were thus made to yield their possessions to the wants of man in those times of distress.

No mention has been made of the amount of amusement found in rounding in this game for food supply. I can remember when I had grown older that

I frequently went with companies of men and boys in the night chase ; and after we had taken two or three fine fat opossums, we would build a fire in the woods and stand around it sometimes for quite a while, telling funny stories or sometimes dissipating in other ways not always profitable or even innocent, having what we called a big time, and finally retire to our homes happy over the results of the trip; and although we frequently proved ourselves very ungrateful by being very sinful, yet we did not fail to enjoy the blessings thus secured in the chase ; nor did God withhold his blessings on account of our sins. How wonderful are the mercies of God ! "He maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust."

We will not take time to refer to the supply of fruits and berries of various kinds often secured by a visit to the fields and forests; but when our minds revert to those times and things, we are reminded of the supply of manna in the wilderness for the hungry Israelites, who only had to reach out their hands for the blessings so abundantly given; and we are taught that God is the same in all ages. He is unchangeable, and hence we may ever trust him if we will only do our part. "Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed." (Ps. xxxvii. 3.)

CHAPTER IV. Clothing

As mere mention was made in a former chapter as to the question of clothing, we deem it proper to devote a short chapter to this subject. People who have grown up since those days can hardly have the faintest idea as to the methods used then by the people in supplying themselves with articles of dress. Every item worn by men, women, or children had to be made at home from the raw cotton.

First, it was often necessary to separate the seed from the lint with the fingers, as there were but few gins then in operation; and then came the carding and spinning. Then the old reel and spools and warping bars were in demand, and all this was quite a lengthy process, requiring much labor.

Next came the dyeing, if different colors were desired, which was no small task itself. I have often spent hours and even whole days hunting paint rocks or gathering sumac berries or other materials used for dyeing purposes ; and I have seen the hands of our mothers and sisters stained for several days at a time with the dyes thus prepared for the coloring of clothing.

Then came the weaving and cutting and making

into garments — all with the fingers. There were no

sewing machines in those days. Every garment worn

had to be made from start to finish with the fingers.

But when one of those homespun, home-dyed, homewoven, and homemade suits or garments was completed, it was worn with as much pride as we would now wear clothing made of silks or broadcloth.

Our hats and shoes were also homemade. The leather out of which our shoes were made was dressed at our home tanneries and put together by our own home cobblers; and the hats we wore were mostly made of straw platted by our own hands and put together with needle and thread by our mothers and sisters.

The ladies wore sunbonnets made of the same homespun material above described. The writer can well remember when the first ladies' hats began to be worn after the war.

For men and boys there were homemade white wool hats for winter wear, instead of straw, for those able to buy them. They were usually made by men too old for service in the army, and who had learned this trade and now practiced it for a livelihood.

What has been here written as to clothing supplies during the years described in these chapters was almost universal among the people, as but little could be had from abroad, and hence all had to live alike in this respect, except that the wealthier could have a more abundant supply than the poorer classes, which of course is always understood ; but as our home represented the last-named class, we knew intensely what all this meant. It was almost the rule at our house for mother and sisters to sit up and work with all their might until midnight on Saturday nights to have some new garments ready for some member of the family for the Sabbath. But one thing I recall is that when the hour hand of the clock stood at twelve everything was called off, whether they had finished or not. Mother was a devout Christian, and scrupulously regarded the observance of the Sabbath day. The dear, precious woman set us a good example in this as well as in many other, respects, whether we have always tried to emulate her example or not. She who would thus try to fear God and keep his commandments could trust him who feeds the fowls of the air and clothes the grass of the field for food and clothing for herself and children, and she was never disappointed.

CHAPTER V. Other Work

As I was the only boy at home from the time I was eight years of age until I was fifteen, it fell to my lot to see that wood was provided for cooking purposes as well as for use in the family room ; and inasmuch as we had no wagon and could scarcely ever get any wood hauled, it was necessary most of the time to resort to the woods for it, where it must be put in proper shape to be brought in on our shoulders or in our arms, and thus nearly all the wood burned in our home was prepared. Of course mother and sisters aided me some in this, as I was yet only a child ; but most of this work fell to me.

Besides this it was my duty to run all errands for the family, sometimes requiring trips of four or five miles' distance ; and when it became necessary for me to be late in the evening reaching home, I was greatly afraid, as many stories had been told me by negroes, as well as white people, about ghosts and wild beasts, with which the country was supposed to be infested. So I was almost afraid of my own shadow at night, and not too brave in daytime, especially if I had to pass a graveyard. Older people sometimes thus scare children with ghost stories and else until they are afraid to go from one room to another at night, and their lives are almost a burden half the time on this account, when, in fact, there is absolutely nothing to hurt or disturb them. All this is very wrong, and should be avoided persistently by parents and others to whom the care of children is committed. We all ought always to endeavor to make life as sunshiny as possible instead of making it miserable for many, as above indicated.

I remember once I was off on an errand four miles from home; and as there was a great rain during the afternoon, I was so delayed in starting on the return trip homeward that it was night before I had gone halfway, and on descending a long, steep hill into a little dark valley I saw something in the center of the road ahead of me that seemed to have a pair of great flaming eyes staring at me, and there was no way to surround it. The brush was very thick on each side of the road, and if I turned back I had this immense hill to climb the first thing, and I felt sure the beast would catch me at every step ; but this seemed to be my only possible escape, and so I was not long measuring the distance between myself and this object of terror by a distance of nearly two miles. I ran until I was almost entirely exhausted, and did not try the trip further that night, and even next morning went another route to reach home, and always felt somewhat afraid of that road thereafter. After I was older I could imagine, since the ghost or beast did not follow me, that it was probably only a collection of water in the road in the little valley before me and the two eyes that I seemed to have seen were probably only the reflection of two bright stars in the clear skies above. But be this as it might, I had had all my fright and trouble just the same. I might relate some other incidents of this kind, but think it would hardly be profitable, and therefore desist.

Added to the home work already recorded I was expected when at home on wash days to assist my sisters in this line of work, and often used the old battling stick vigorously from early morn till noon, or did any other work that might be mapped out for me by those who were older, as such was my only work, except a few scattering days of chopping out cotton for our neighbors or working in the garden or potato patch until I was old enough to be hired out for wages to work on the farm, of which a full account will be given hereafter.

CHAPTER VI. Corn-Shuckings and Quiltings

When the crops were being gathered in the fall, the corn was thrown into great heaps in the lot or near the barn, sometimes two or three hundred bushels in a heap, and at the bottom of this and as near the center as possible a jug of whisky was placed. The jug was usually large enough to contain one or two gallons. This was intended as a treat for the workers when the job was completed. Of course it can be seen at once that the corn would have to be shucked before the treat could be secured. When those invited were at the place, and after they had worked awhile, a big-mouthed negro who could sing well was placed on the corn pile to sing and hollo. They had songs suited to the occasion ; and when this negro leader would give the main line all the others, white and black, would join in the chorus, and fairly make the corn and shucks fly until the work was done. Then came the treat. By this time the women would have finished their work on the quilt, and all this was followed by a good supper, such as usually given at logrollings and other workings. When this was over and everything cleared away, or if there was plenty of room before the supper was finished, the music would start, and then for an all-night dance, with a play party for the younger ones in another room, and usually the play party was equally as demoralizing as the dance.

Trials and Triumphs of a Young Preacher. 2J

Of course there were many such parties in those days along through the year, and especially during the winter season, when there was no public working. They were all run in about the same way. While there was not usually the public treat with whisky as at the corn-shuckings, still there was then, as there is now, always whisky on hand at these public dances. This seems to be part of the programme, and will doubtless ever continue so.

CHAPTER VII. Some Tragedies

Along with the things of which mention has been made in the preceding chapters there occurred some things in our community of a very different character, and such, too, as would leave a lasting impression, especially on a young mind.

There were several deserters from the Confederate army in the neighborhood, who, I suppose, spent most of their time in the woods, hiding from the officers. During this time a number of depredations were committed in the community and surrounding country, such as the burning of ginhouses, schoolhouses, and other public buildings, and shooting into homes. One child was killed, and an old man shot at from his gate. The deserters mentioned above were accused of all these crimes, and a number of citizens organized themselves into a company of self-constituted conscripters, and sifted the country for those supposed criminals, pretending that they had been deputized to take them, if they could be found, and send them back to their command. But as many as could be found were taken and brutally killed. I now recall the names of Elias Bounds, Fleet Smith, Lon Shepard, and others who were thus taken and murdered. The last-named was taken from his bed with a burning fever and, having one end of a rope fastened to him and the other end tied to the horn of the saddle occupied by one of the conscripters, was made to keep up with the horses as they loped off until they were far enough from the house to be out of sight ; then he was loosed from the saddle, tied to a tree, and given a moment to pray if he chose. When he became "too loud" with his prayers, as they said, they cursed him and filled him with bullets, then threw his body in a hollow and covered it with dirt. His friends recovered the body and gave it a decent burial. I attended the funeral, saw the bullet holes in his face, and was greatly moved by the cries and tears of his widow and orphan children thus left without a support.

One other case is worthy of mention. A young man, or rather boy, seventeen years old, one of our nearest neighbor boys, was accused of having been seen with those deserters, who were supposed to have been guilty of the burnings and other crimes mentioned, and was taken. I remember well when he and his captors passed our house, although I was then hardly nine years old. There was probably a company of fifteen or twenty of them, all on horseback, while the young man was walking in front of them. He remarked to my mother as he passed the gate : "Pretty good escort I have." They took him to our church, where he was guarded that night. It was Saturday night, and the next day, Sunday, they took him down to the river, tw r o miles away, carved him up most brutally until he was dead, tied a rock to his neck, put him in the river, and left him there. Two days later his relatives and friends fished his body out, took it to the family burying ground, and laid it to rest.