A little world; a series of college plays for girls

Contents

Page

Two Acts.

Twelve Characters, Girls.

Act I

Scene. Study of Louise and Pat; Boor L. two B.; writing tables R. and L. Mantel B. C. Bookcase, pillows, tea table, posters, banners, rackets, golf sticks, etc, for college room. Girls in evening dress. Time, evening. Pat at table L., studying under lamp. Mail mistress, Mary, knocks.

Pat. Come in.

Mary. [Enters, gives Pat batch of letters.] A whole bunch for you, Pat. [Puts one letter on desk R.] Louise only gets one.

Pat. The mail seems late to-night. Mary. A whole hour. The mail man was delayed by the snow in coming up from the station.

Pat. It's a beastly night.

Mary. Pretty big blizzard; we'll have some good skating when it stops. Good night.

Pat. Letters, but not the one I want;

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even mother's letter won't satisfy — now — I wonder if [Goes to desk R.] Louise! 0, if I had only known him before I helped Louise to win him. [Weighs letter in her hand,] She doesn't understand him, his aims, political ambitions She is a child; the wife of a future foreign ambassador must be quick and subtle. Louise is too true. I wonder if I dare — it would be dishonest — I could never forgive myself — yet — what does he say! [Opens letter, reads only heading.'] "To my sweet little class president" — "My dream girl." [In pain,] Oh — for him to call her that! — after my poem of the "Dream Girl." He thinks she wrote it, that her heart has been aching to] be called that by one whom she — loves— and — and that name is a part of myself! Why, why, didn't I meet him before I taught Louise how to win him !

Harriet Fleming. [Opens door.] Louise in?

Pat. [Startled.] No, she is at a supper party.

Harriet. Without you?

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Pat. Not our set: merely presidential policy on her part.

Harriet. [Laughs.] 0, I see! [Exit.] Pat. Bnrn it? But it belongs to Louise ; — tell her I opened it by mistake. [Returns,. to her own desk.] " Little class president" — he seems impressed by her honor — her aptitude for political affairs, I suppose, but he doesn't know it was I who canvassed for her — that I am the power behind the throne — oh, dear, I'm afraid I'm getting jealous of Louise — [Singing of " Auld Lang Syne" heard in distance, Pat tries to study.] The girls are returning from glee club. [Girls singing come nearer, Beth, Syd, Chip enter, others pass doivn corridor humming.]

Beth, Syd, Chip. [In chorus.] Hello, Pat, working hard! Don't be such an angel !

Pat. You seem well drilled!

Chip. We met the mail on the way, and were told you were working.

Syd. We came to interrupt you for f ear you'd have more chances at Heaven than the rest of us lazy-bones.

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Beth. I don't think it's good for you to study so much. You will be a nervous wreck by Christmas time !

Syd. She got high credit in Psychology.

Beth. I should think she would when every month she has a story accepted by the College Chronicle.

Chip. Don't forget to mention that several of those stories are written by Pat, but signed Louise. Think of the furor that little poem of the "Dream Girl" made when it came out in the College Chronicle. Everybody except us thinks Louise wrote it.

Pat. Ssh! Ssh!

Chip. Excuse me, excuse me, little birdie peeped too loud.

Syd. Well, you haven't told us yet what kind of a time you had at the house party.

Pat. Oh, bully!

Syd. Who was there?

Pat. Three girls and three men, but nobody you know except Louise, of course, and a man whom I met for the first time, John Curson.

Girls. [In chorus.] Was he there? Tell

us about him.

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Beth. Still so uninterested in femininity? j

Pat. No, decidedly convivial.

Chip. Perhaps his golf has improved.

Beth. You are always thinking of golf ; what was the reason, Pat?

Pat. Ask me.

Beth. Well, I do.

Chip. Got anything to eat?

Pat. You'll find some candy in my room.

Chip. All right. [Exit L.]

Pat. He seemed suddenly to have awakened from his trance, they said, and was at last aware that there were girls around. We quite impressed him.

Chip. [Off.] Where did you say the candy was?

Pat. On my washstand — He really danced consecutively all Saturday night, instead of retiring, as usual, in boredom.

Syd. Did he get dippy about you?

Pat. Well, my dear, — Louise —

Chip. [Off.] Where is that candy?

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Pat. Can't you find it? Look in my suitcase, under the bed; where did I put it? Try the shoe-box; I was in such a hurry to get to ray lectures this morning.

Syd. But he was dippy about you?

Pat. Well, Louise —

Chip. [Off.] Pat, I can't find the candy, but there is some condensed milk on your window sill. Can we make some hot chocolate?

Pat. Certainly; where is that candy? [Goes L.] Syd, you'll find the chocolate in the bookcase. [Exit,]

Beth. I'm sick of hearing about Louise — it's always Louise with every girl in college, and Pat is really behind it all; I'm tired of this farce!

Syd. It isn't right, it really isn't.

Beth. Who virtually directs the class meetings ?

Beth and Syd. Pat!

Beth. Who remembers all the conventions and saves the class from making ignominious official moves?

Beth and Syd. Pat!

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Beth. Who writes Louise's presidential speeches?

Syd. They sound like Pat.

Beth. It's always Pat. [Arranges cups on tea table. Enter Pat and Chip with milk and candy. ,]

Pat. Where do you think I found the candy? The chamber-maid used it as a prop for my three-legged bureau! Didn't you find the spoons in the book-case?

Beth. Nope, only the chocolate.

Pat. Of course; Louise took them into her room to wash. [Exit Beth R.] You know I think housekeeping at college is awfully strenuous; mother would have a fit if she saw this. [Blows dust out of cup.]

Syd. I always allow three days for cleaning up before my mother arrives, and even then on the third day the girls are bound to demand afternoon tea to plague me, and mess all my dishes up again.

Beth. [Enters from R.] There are no spoons there.

Pat. How stupid of me! That little 15

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freshman across the corridor borrowed them over Sunday. I'll get them on my way back from the tea pantry; I'm off for the hot water. [Exit R. B.]

Beth. [Stirring mixture with paper-cutter. ,] I'll muggle Pat's "goo." You know the folks at home think we are crazy to mix sweet chocolate and milk like this, but I can't drink the cook's cocoa now; it's too weak — look here, Chip, you're for Pat, aren't you?

Chip. Sure, Mike.

Syd. Why not put her up for class president?

Chip. But Pat is already booming Louise up for her second year of the presidency.

Beth. It's a pretty mean trick for us, it seems to me, to doom Pat to another year of work without getting the credit for it.

Chip. Well, that is true; the elections come off on Thursday afternoon, so we have lots of time to put Pat up ; by Jove, I'm crazy to.

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Syd. The class seems dead solid for Louise already, though.

Beth. What if it is! We have to make Pat popular at Louise's expense. Chip. But how?

Syd. We'll have to plan that. Beth. Simply show the class that Louise has been nothing but a puppet in Pat's hands ever since she was made president, a year ago.

Chip. But how to do that?

[Enter Pat with spoons, kettle of hot water, box of crackers, open bottle of olives.]

Pat. Pour the hot water on the "goo," Chip, and there are the spoons. I swiped the crackers and the olives from one of my neighbors; where is that paper-cutter? Shoot it! too big. Anybody got a hat pin? Nobody has a hat pin? Louise has one in there, Chip. [Chip exit R. and re-enter again with pin.] I won't hunt for anything more in my room. The mice will have plenty of things on the floor to play hide and seek with to-night. My goodness, what are you all so grave about?

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Beth. We have been considering the .advisability of elaborating upon a system by which yon might be the recipient of the favors we consider yonr due.

Pat. Your temperature sounds high!

Syd. We want to make you president, Pat.

Pat. That is very kind of you.

Chip. Would you really like to be president, Pat?

Pat. [Aside.] He'd like it; if Louise lost the election it might mean that he would care less and —

Beth. We were on the point of debating—

Syd. Fiddle-sticks; we don't know.

Chip. What would you suggest, Pat?

Pat. Rather queer of you to ask me that, isn't it? — especially, since I've canvassed Louise to the nines already.

Beth. What is her most vulnerable part in the opinion of the class?

ISyd. Snobbery, I should say; she is too identified with our clique.

Pat. But Louise is the most democratic of us all.

Beth. But the class doesn't think so, and that is the point; if we could make Louise seem very much of a snob and lording it over you, it's only the few of us who really know your influence over her, we might succeed in ingratiating you in the class's favor.

Std. I have it! In class meeting this noon, you remember, the class voted that the committee to select the play and cast should be appointed by the president! Influence Louise to appoint only snobs whom we can control.

Pat. Brilliant and simple! I see it all.

Chip. So quickly? It shows your wit for president; the scheme is taking some time to penetrate my skull; it's pretty tough from all the golf balls that have struck it. But, if —

Louise. [Outside.] I hope you will have more success than I did in crossing the campus.

Giels. Sish! Louise!

Louise. [Enters R., cape over evening gown covered with snow.]: Hello,

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girls; I haven't seen you since Pat and I returned from the house-party last night. How cozy you look; I'm soaked; drifts of snow a foot deep across the sidewalks. [Dries feet at fire.]

Pat. Just a moment and I'll have your chocolate ready; it will warm you up.

Louise. Don't trouble, dear, I'll do it. [Goes to her desk, surprised at letter being opened, says nothing, puts it in her corsage without reading.] Been having a good time?

Syd. Glee club.

Chip. "Where have you been?

Louise. Down in Chester Hall — Kate Black's supper party.

Beth. Shouldn't think you would care to have anything to do with her.

Louise. I don't, particularly, only Pat said it would be good policy for me to go ; to show I'm in sympathy with all the members of the class.

Beth. Why lower your dignity to mingle with the pills?

Louise. I, don't want to be unkind Beth.

TEE CLASS PRESIDENT.

Syd. The hall is a box of pills.

Louise. But I have to know the individuals of the class in more than a casual way. In appointing committees —

Pat. Oh, yes, Louise, whom have you decided to put on that committee to select the play?

Louise. iWell, I haven 't really thought about it yet ; I Ve been so busy with a score of other class matters which heaped up over Sunday. I suppose, though, Goodrich and Davis and —

Pat. But Goodrich and Davis are the best actresses in the class. They ought not to choose the cast.

Louise. Why not? They know so much about acting they would find the suitable person for each part.

Beth. [Aside.] That is too democratic !

Pat. They would take the leading parts for themselves, and, of course, they deserve them; but it would look better if a committee appointed them.

Louise. That is true; and, anyway, 21

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they will be given the leading parts, won't they? They have had them in every play we have ever given, and the whole college thinks them our stars.

Chip. Cora Seawell has never been on a committee before.

Louise. Hasn't she? Then I'll put her on. [Writes doivn name.]

Chip. [Aside.] She is awfully snobbish.

Beth. Put Pat on.

Pat. [Quickly.] No, I won't be on. How many did the class vote to have?

Louise. Five — I'll put you down, Beth and Syd — that's three — I can't put you on, too, Chip, it wouldn't be fair; Kate Black—

Syd. The girl to whose supper party you went to-night?

Louise. Yes.

Pat. Don't do that.

Louise. Why?

Pat. The class will think she bribed you by asking you to her party.

Louise. 0, how horrid! I never

thought of that.

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Pat. Put down Harriet Fleming.

Louise. [Writes it.] And how about Lill Jeremsf

Syd. She is such a pill.

Beth. Not a grain of wit.

Chip. Too easily persuaded. Eats an awful lot. [Eats candy.]

Pat. [Aside.] Eeally a dreadful fighter.

Louise. How is Hester Scott?

Syd. 0, pshaw!

Beth. Impossible.

Chip. Dreadful pill.

Louise. Why!

Chip. Oh, I don't know; don't like the color of her hair.

Louise. But I must take some one who isn't in our clique; the class must be represented.

Pat. Put in Sadie Foster.

Louise. [Writes.] There, that makes five. Girls, you should have seen the professors snow-balling each other; it was more fun, and, girls, did Pat tell you what

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a splendid time we had at the house-party? She met John Curson at last. He gave us each a box of candy when we left. Why didn't you offer my candy to the girls, Pat? I'll get it. [Exit R.]

Beth. We have that committee packed to suit us all right, all right. Weren't we clever? She really is sweet, and dotes on you, Pat.

[Louise returns ivitli box of candy, and girls, because they have been 'plotting against her, nervously begin to sing college songs; then bell tolls.]

Pat. Quiet hours, ssh! or we will be proctored.

["Ssh" is heard in corridor, Beth, Syd and Chip rise and putting hands on each others shoidders tip-toe c little dance out of room with "ssh", "ssh" in the time of the chorus they have just been singing and quietly close door behind .them. Louise takes out her letter to read. Pause.]

Pat. I'm awfully sorry, but I opened your letter by mistake.

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Louise. Did you I Then it is all right ; I thought it was rather queer. Have you one?

Pat. Who from?

Louise. John Curson?

Pat. Why should I?

Louise. [Puts arms about Pat.] Oh, Pat, isn't it great!

Pat. What?

Louise. Having a big strong man in love with you? I have been so excited all day; I didn't understand a word of the lectures this morning. What do you think? I found in reading over my lectures that everywhere I should have written Louis in my history notes, I wrote — John. I know I am a silly little goose, Pat, but I am in love this time.

Pat. You didn't tell me yesterday that he had — proposed.

Louise. He didn't, dear, it's here. He says he has been miserable ever since I left and must have a promise that — read it.

Pat. No, no, I don't want to read your —

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Louise. Of course you do ; I insist upon it. [Pat reads.] Do you suppose I am going to let a man separate us even to that extent! Our friendship is too old and means too much [Referring to letter], isn't it, dear?

Pat. It's very sweet to have that written to one.

Louise. I told him what good friends we are and have been since we met three years ago ; he said he would love you, too, for my sake; when we are married you must join us on our wedding trip.

Pat. You are getting there rather soon, aren't you?

Louise. I suppose I am a little previous — not until a year from now when we have our degrees — seems a long time to wait. But don't tell the girls, Pat, they would never stop teasing me. You know, dear, when he complimented me on the stories and your poem of "The Dream Girl" I couldn't confess to him that you had signed my name and had them printed in the magazine before you told me. Was it awfully wrong of me not to confess? They pleased

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him so and I knew it really wouldn't make any difference to you. You'll forgive me, won't you?

Pat. I am glad they pleased him.

Louise. He was awfully interested in your conversation at the house party, Pat, I was almost jealous, but after your coaching T managed to talk politics beautifully. Will you give me some new ideas on the war question to-morrow?

Pat. What are you going to do now?

Louise. Write him — everything.

Pat. Everything?

Louise. What I think and feel and — I am not boring you, Pat?

Pat. Go on.

Louise. If I am, it is because I am so used to discussing everything with you. It has been so cozy living together at college and I love every silly little trophy in this room, the good times we have had — and the one true friend I have made here — [Pause.] Well, I am going to write that letter now. [Louise scribbles fast, Pat tries to study — pause — Chip opens door R. B.I

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Chip. Good-night. [Exit.]

[Pause — enter Syd in kimono, with look, R. B.]

Syd. [In despair.] Pat, did he give us all that to read for to-morrow? Sallamafusselm! I think the amount is a crime! Why, I've been working on it all evening! I've got to stay up until midnight. [Exit.] [Proctored by " Ssh" in hall as she goes out.]

Louise. [Seals letter.] It's all done, Pat : and now I am going to bed to dream — haven't enough wit left to study. Are you going to stay up?

Pat. Yes, I have some economics to tab.

Louise. Good night, then [Kisses Pat] ; I hope your dreams will be as sweet as I know mine are going to be. [Exit R.]

Pat. Good night.

Betk. [In kimono, opens door R. B.] I just discovered I have a critical essay due to-morrow at ten o'clock; what shall I take for a subject?

Pat. [Without looking around.] The problems of human existence.

Beth. What?

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Pat. The morals of Shaw. [Exit Beth R. B.]

Louise. [Off R.] Pat, I forgot my letter and I'm undressed; will you please put it down the chute in the hall? I want it to leave by the early morning mail. [Throws letter oat on floor — Pat picks it up — pantomime, burns it.]

Louise. [Cheerfully off R.~\ Good night, dear.

Pat. [Almost crossly.] Good night. [Pause.'} ' ' My little Dream Girl. ' '

CURTAIN.

THE CLASS PRESIDENT.