The young man's assistant, in efforts at the self-cultivation

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Preface

I have, for a long time, been deeply interested in the improvement and character of the younger portion of society, both male and female. I have felt that in view of the future character of our community, in view of the purity and permanency of our free Institutions, in view of the stability and best influences of our religious privileges, the younger portion of society is, by far, its most important portion; for I have felt that, in all these respects, the future condition of this country depends on the young. Take, as an illustration, the subject of Temperance. The advanced and the middle-aged have done much for the establishment of this cause. They may still do much. — But, after all, it depends on the young to carry the cause forward to its complete perfection, to its entire and universal prevalence. If the young are indifferent upon the subject, or are, in heart and practice, opposed to the cause, all that the more advanced can do will be comparatively and eventually in vain. The more advauced will soon be gone. The young will remain to give a character to their own time, and to mould and fashion in

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some degree the character of the times which may succeed their own. If, therefore, the young say that intemperance shall prevail, then it will prevail, notwithstanding what has been done, or what may still be done by the middle aged and the old. So too, if the } 7 ounger portion of the community determine that temperance shall prevail, and mark the character of the community that is just entering upon the stage, it will be so, notwithstandinglhe indifference or the opposition of their eiders. And thus it is, in regard to all the various interests of society, whether they are social, civil, literary or religious. It is for the young to give the character to the times and the community which may succeed the present. It is for this reason that I have felt so deeply the importance of the young. It is for this reason that I have written for the young. I have thought that our Young Ladies were m danger of yielding themselves slaves to frivolity, vanity and fashion. And I have endeavored, in the Young Lady's Aid, to arrest their attention and direct it to their own solid and real improvement, to the establishment of a substantial foundation for a life of usefulness and happiness.

In regard to our young men, I would say, that I have seen them, as I have thought, surrounded by a multitude of dangers. There is indifference to the importance of the season, that is tast passing from them, the season of youth, which, by leading to habits of indolence, may shed a blighting inMuence over their whole future lives. Then

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there are the temptations to dissipation, by which they are surrounded and beset. And, finally, they are now in great danger, from the circumstance that their importance in the community is beginning to be felt, and their efforts and influence to become prominent, I have sometimes thought too prominent. We have our Young Men's Associations for almost every imaginable purpose, distinct and separate from the Associations of the more advanced. And such are the feelings of the times, that the middle-aged and sometimes even the old, choose that their efforts and influence should receive currency, by passing under the fashionable title of young men's efforts and influence. It seems to me that there are some evils resulting from this state of things. Our young men rush forward into active life, far too soon, or at least, with far too little preparation for its duties. And, not having formed habits of self-cultivation, they are hurried along by the pressing duties which crowd upon them, and so pass through life without making one half the improvement, or securing one half the enjoyment which they might otherwise have done. Then too, the young, being ardent in their feelings, of excitable passions, and of comparatively feeble discretion and judgment, are too apt to be bitter and violent, to carry things to extremes, and to seize upon whatever is new. merely because it is new. Who are our most violent politicans? Are they not in most instances, young men ? Who are the most rash m-

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novators? Are they not, in most instances^ young men? Who are in most danger of wild and extravagant speculations, who most fond of throwing off all regard for established forms and usages? Are they not, in most instances, young men? — When I have reflected upon the evils, which I have thought, resulted in some degree, or at least have been greatly increased by the prominence which is either assumed by, or given to young men I have asked with much earnestness, what can be done? And the answer to my question has been, it is no matter how young a man is called into active life, provided that, by the knowledge he has acquired, the mental habits he has formed, and the soundness of judgment he has secured, he is prepared for its duties, temptations and trials. It is often the case that one man is as mature in judgment, discretion and a control over passion, at twenty, as another may be at forty. I have thought, therefore, that the proper way of meeting this state of the times, is to address young men themselves, to endeavor to awaken them to just notions of the duties involved in the prominence which is now given them. I would have them so feel this prominence and importance, as to be prompted by their feelings to greater efforts for improvement. I would have every young man feel that, although his education may have been deficient, still, there is no reason why he should pass through life without making advances. The high-way of knowledge is open to all, and I should

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be glad to see all walking therein. I have therefore endeavored to throw out, in this little work, such suggestions as might serve to awaken to the importance of efforts at self-cultivation and to give some direction and assistance in such efforts.

I am aware that there are already many books prepared for young men. The Young Man's Friend, The Young Man's Guide, The Young Man's Aid — these, and others like them, are all of them valuable books. It is not expected, nor is it desired, that The Young Man's Assistant should take the place of any of these. It ask only a place by their side, as a younger brother of the same family.

I have directed the attention of young men, in these letters, to their own minds, and have given some sketches of mental philosophy, in its application to personal and practical improvement. I have done this for a particular reason. I well remember, that, while acquiring my education, we were conducted, in due time, to the study of mental Philosophy. And a perceptible change was produced upon most of the class. A new object of intense interest was laid open to their study — the mind — their own minds. And the study excited us to thought and reflection. In this way, frivolity and nonsense were dissipated, the fascinations of the novel disarmed, and its enervating influence upon the mind prevented. In this way too, coolness of judgment and soundness of discretion were secured, while the power and control of the passions was in a de-

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gree weakened. Attention then to the study of mental Philosophy, had, in that particular case, a beneficial influence over the minds and the characters of those who pursued the study. Again, I have seen many who have not enjoyed the advantages of a public education, and whose attention was not in early life directed to the subject of mental Philosophy, but who have, in later years, become interested in Phrenology, and, in that way, have been led to study the miud, to watch the operations of their own minds, — have been led to thought and reflection. Now, although I am neither a believer nor an unbeliever in regard to the claims of Phrenology, yet I siucreely believe that its advocates have done good, because they have awakened men to thought and reflection, to the examination of their own minds.

I have hoped in the sketches of mental Philosophy which I have here given, to be instrumental to the same end. It may be that my readers will reject every position which I have laid down upon this subject, as incorrect and unsound. But they cannot do this without thinking, reflecting, watching the operations of their own minds for themselves. "But thinking is the very germ of self-cultivation." I shall, even in that case, by provoking them to thought, have been their assistant in self-cultivation. Indeed, I shall have accomplished the very purpose for which 1 have written, for my object has been not to establish rnjr own positions so much as to awaken my readers to think *

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and reflect, to examine and judge for themselves., Still further, I have hoped that by giving the minds of my readers this direction, by awakening them to this effort, I might be instrumental in leading them to still further enquiries, as to the future and eternal condition of the mind or soul. I have feared that men have not faith in themselves as spiritual beings. And I have hoped that the more they should study themselves as intellectual, as thinking beings, the more would they cherish a faith in themselves as spiritual beings.

I have thus stated the views and feelings with which this little work has been prepared. I now send it forth to accompany The Young Lady's Aid, for the favorable reception of which by the public I feel truly grateful, — with the prayer that it may be blessed to the improvement of the young men into whose hands it may fall; that it may awaken them to the importance and convince them of the necessity and possibility of self-cultivation, and be to them truly an assistant in their attempts to improve themselves.

JASON WHITMAN,

THE

YOUNG MAN'S ASSISTANT.

Letter I. Importance Of The Season Of Youth

Introduction — Season of youth important — because the young begin to act for themselves — Important in regard to the employment of time — the choice of companions — in regard to feelings of self-dependence and in regard to the formation of tastes and opinions — The character is in the process of formation, whether attended to or not — The importance of correct conduct in youth is not felt as it should be — conclusion.

When I have looked around me and have seen young men of fine talents, of lovely dispositions and of great promise, wasting the precious season of their youth, in utter indifference to all self-improvement, or worse than 2 wasting it, by spending it in vicious indulgences, laying up for themselves a store of future wretchedness and misery, I have, involuntarily, asked why is this, how can it be prevented? I have thought that, perhaps, such young persons were not aware of the vast importance of the season of youth, its importance to their future happiness and to their future characters. I have felt that, perhaps, these very persons might listen attentively to one, who, from motives of friendship and in a spirit of kindness, should speak to them upon the subject, and might even feel grateful for the advice he should give. I have determined, therefore, to address a series of letters to young men, offering them such hints and suggestions, as may seem to me calculated to awaken them to the importance of self-cultivation, and to assist them in their efforts to improve themselves.

My first position, and it is one to which I would ask your particular attention, is, that the season of youth is of far more importance to the individual, to his future character and future happiness, than any other period of life. The period of childhood is important, vastly important, in its influences and consequences, which extend far onward into the future years of life. But its importance does f not come so directly home to the individual himself; because, during the period of childhood, he is under the direction and subject to the control of others. Were I speaking to parents or guardians or teachers, I should say, childhood is to you the most important period in the lives of those placed under your care, because the formation of their characters is more entirely under your control at that than at any other period of their lives. For the same reason, I say to the young man, the season of youth is to you the most important period of life; because the formation of your character is then more entirely under your own control than at any other season of life. In childhood your conduct is directed by others. In manhood your conduct will be shaped by the habits which you have formed during childhood and youth, which will have becqme too fixed and obstinate to be controlled by the exercise of the will. It is then during the season of youth, during the period from boyhood to maturity, that the formation of your characters is most entirely within your own power. During that period, you begin to act, more fully than you have ever before done, for yourselves, you are, to a greater extent than before, your own masters. In childhood it was your parents or guardians who thought and made selections for you, and who felt anxious for you. Did they perceive, that, by spending your time in idleness, you were contracting bad habits? With how much anxiety were they filled, how carefully, how intensely did they exercise their thoughts in providing for you employment, and such employment as might be agreeable to you? Of all this parental anxiety you were ignorant. You had only to follow their directions and engage in the employment which they pointed out. Did they perceive that you were in danger of ruin from the evil influence of bad associates? — With how much greater anxiety were they now filled? How many thoughtful days and sleepless nights did they pass in determining how they might rescue you from your danger, what counsel and advice they might give, and what selection of companions they might recommend? Of all this you were ignorant. — And, perhaps, you made all this tenfold greater than it otherwise would have been, by your unwillingness to follow readily their suggestions.

But now, in these and in many other respects all is changed. Many of you now leave parents and home, that you may enjoy better opportunities of becoming acquainted with business, and of preparing for the active duties of life. And those of you, who remain at home, find your situations much changed. You are so much away from your parents, that you can scarcely be regarded as under their watch or subject to their control. You are now called upon to think, to select, and to act for yourselves. You are now exposed to dangers, not perhaps to greater dangers than those to which you were exposed in childhood. But they will appear to you to be greater, for you are to meet and to overcome them yourselves, in reliance upon your own individual energy, and not through the assistance of others.

The danger to which you are now exposed *2 you will especially feel in regard to the right improvement of time. Although most of your time will be employed in your regular pursuits, still you will have many hours of leisure. This portion of your time you will regard as your own, to be spent as you please, without direction or control from your parents or your employers. And here let me assure you that all interested in your welfare are watching with intense interest, to note the manner in which you spend these leisure hours. It is often the case, that one whose conduct is perfectly correct while under the control of others, and who is perfectly contented and happy to be under that control, seems to have no power of employing himself during his leisure hours, no capacity to estimate aright the bearing of different pursuits upon future character. He has no definite and fixed purpose before him and is striving to accomplish no particular object. And, therefore, he is in great danger of becoming the sport of any companion that may solicit, any fancy that may suggest itself, or any temptation that may assail him.

There are others, who have been restrained by parental authority, and who now seem disposed to indemnify themselves for what they think they have lost and suffered. They give loose reins to their appetites, propensities and passions, and become reckless of all future consequences. And thus it often happens, that those who have been trained by parents in the most strict and careful manner, become dissipated and profligate as soon as left to themselves. You perceive, then, that there may be much correctness of conduct while under the care of parents and while devoted to the regular employments of the day, and at the same time, much incorrectness in the manner of spending leisure hours. And which of these seasons, the season of regular employment, or that of leisure, do you suppose is regarded with the greatest anxiety by friends, which is considered as giving the clearest indication of what may be expected in your future characters? I can assure you it is the short season of leisure, rather than the longer season of regular employment. And why so you ask? I will tell you. Your friends perceive that, even now, every moment, which is at your disposal, is wasted in idleness or given up to dissipation. And this circumstance they regard as indicative of your present taste, and a fearful omen of the manner in which a still larger portion of your time will be spent, when it comes to be all at your own disposal.

Still further, every hour, at this period of your life, is exerting its influence in forming habits, infixing tastes, and in determining the future character. If your leisure time is, even now, wasted in idleness or devoted to dissipation, you are strengthening within you a fondness, a taste for this mode of spending time, and will be forming a habit, which, before you are aware of your danger, will become so fixed and so pov/erful, that it will be almost impossible ever to break through its chains. If, then, you are now prompted, the moment you have a little time at your own disposal, to look around for some amusement, you are laying the foundation, let me tell you, of a habit of the most ruinous character. But you may say, this cannot be, because if the conduct be correct during that larger portion of the day, which is devoted to regular employment, a habit will be formed, which will counteract the influence, which might otherwise result from our spending our leisure hours in an improper manner. In answer, I would say, that the influence of actions in the formation of habits, depends much upon the state of the feelings, upon the degree of interest, with which those actions are performed. Actions performed reluctantly, in obedience to another, or with feelings of indifference, will on that account, exert but little influence in forming and fixing habits. On the other hand, actions, which are performed with deep interest, will, from the interest which is felt in them, do much towards fixing habits. The influence then of one class of actions rather than of another in forming and fixing habits, will depend not upon the greater amount of time devoted to them, but upon the greater degree of interest felt in them. This you at once perceive, in learning any art where practical skill is desired. Take the art of writing as a familiar illustration. Two persons may write the same number of words, the hands may go through the same motions, and yet the result may be widely different. One may engage heartily in the work, while the other enters upon it with indifference, perhaps with reluctance. You perceive, therefore, that you may devote ten hours a day to your regular employments, while you spend but three hours of leisure in idleness or in dissipation, and yet the habits will be more fixed, and the future character will be more determined, by the latter, than by the former; because the latter will be your voluntary course, the former may be a matter of reluctance. But enough has I trust been said to shew the importance of a right employment of time and especially of leisure hours during the season of youth.

Nearly connected with the right improvement of time is the choice of companions. — In this respect your situation is now much changed from what it was in boyhood. Then, your associates were too young to think much of what might seem to be your neglect of them. If they perceived that their advances towards intimacy or acquaintance were made with coldness and reserve, they were not disturbed by it. They did not resent it, for they attributed it all to a parent's advice or a parent's command. But now they regard you as acting for yourselves, upon your own responsibility, and from the promptings of your own feelings. If, then, they perceive that you manifest no fondness for their society, they are disturbed, are ready to ask you the cause, and to resent what they regard as an unjustifiable neglect of them. Here then you are called upon to think, to weigh well the reasons which may influence you in your choice of companions, and, in your neglect of those who may seek your more intimate acquaintance. You will feel that you must no longer act from mere caprice, but that you should be guided in this by reason and principle. — And remember too, that should censure and reproach be cast upon you, you have now no one on whom you may cast the blame of your choice, that you are acting upon your own responsibility, and must yourselves bear the consequences of your conduct. Here then, you perceive, you are called to take a stand, to choose and act for yourselves, from tbe promptings of your own feelings, from the decisions of your own judgment, and with a willingness to bear yourselves the reproach which may be attached to your choice, should it be such as to bring upon you reproach. You are called upon, as you never have been before, to cherish a feeling of self-dependence and of self-confidence.

Nay, more. This feeling of self-dependence, you are to cherish, not only in regard to the choice of companions, but in regard to all things. When a child, how often have you said, or at least how often have you thought to yourself, C I would not do this, I would not do that, if my parents had not commanded it'. And why? Because it was something calculated to expose you to the sneers and the laugh of your companions. Now that you are left to yourselves and have become, in a certain sense, your own masters, there will be great danger that you will be prevented from following out the convictions of your own consciences, through fear of the ridicule and sneers and laugh of your companions. You are therefore called upon to act from high and honorable motives, in much self-reliance, in much independence of others. Do your companions laugh? And are you afraid of this laugh? And shall this always be so? This question you are now to determine, your characters in this respect you are now to form. If you lose your self-reliance, your independence and yield to this feeling now, there can be no calculation as to what your future character will be. You may be kind hearted and may have correct views as to all the proprieties of life. You may see and approve the right, and yet be always driven to the wrong, by your fear of the ridicule of others. The season of youth is then you perceive, in this respect, of the utmost importance to yourselves. You are now to commence the practice, that so you may lay the foundation for a fixed and controlling habit, of acting in all things from an unwavering devotion to principle, an unwavering regard to duty and to right, relying upon the approbation of your conscience to support you amid the sneers of your companions^ should your conduct expose you to their sneers. This you have not been called upon to do, so fully before. Now then is the trying time. This is a season of the utmost importance. But, if you are only true to yourselves in your present practices, a habit will soon be formed which will prevent all future difficulty.

Still further, the season of youth is the season when your tastes and opinions are forming. And, as you well know, much of your happiness and much of the respectability and value of your characters will depend on the right formation of these. You have seen some who have acquired tastes for pleasures of a pure and an elevated character, the pleasures of reading and conversation and thought, and others who have acquired tastes for rough and boisterous merriment, and others still who have acquired the taste for hearing and telling news. These different tastes give the cast to character, and determine the kind of happiness which shall be sought, whether it shall exert a purifying, elevating and refining influence upon conduct or not. These tastes are generally formed

•during the period of which I am now speaking. They are now within your power, under your control. It is for you to say, and to say it now what they shall be.

Then too as to opinions, you may think, that in regard to these, there is but little difference in the different periods of life. But it is not so. In childhood, you were not capable of forming valuable opinions. In manhood you will find that your opinions will be shaped and colored by the habit, which during the season of youth, you have established, as to the manner of forming your opinions. By this T mean that, during the season of youth you will form a habit of making up your opinions in one way rather than in another. For example. You may form the habit of making up an opinion at once, without examining evidence, and upon the impulse of the moment, or you may form the opposite habit, of examining evidence and weighing probabilities and carefully drawing conclusions. So too you may form the habit of changing your opinions with every varying breath, or of adhering to them obstinately to the neglect of all reasons in their support, or of conscientiously regulating them by the preponderance of evidence. You may not indeed retain the precise opinions which you now form. But you will retain the same habit in regard to the manner of forming opinions. And this habit will do much towards determining the respectability and value of your future characters. You have often, I presume, seen men, who have been spoken slightingly of, and for whose opinion no respect has been manifested. You have asked the reason of this. The answer has been, they are men of impulse, and of prejudice, and but little dependence is to be placed upon their opinions. And then you have seen others, whose opinions are always treated with respect, and who are often called upon by their fellow men to decide differences which have sprung up between them. And yet their talents and capacities were not superior to those of the class before noticed. But then they are men who have formed the habit of weighing and examining before deciding, and of govern-

Ins; themselves by the preponderance of evidence. The habits of the two classes, as to the manner of forming opinions, are different. And this is what constitutes the ground of difference in the respectability and value of their characters. Thus, you perceive, that in regard to the right improvement of time, the right choice of companions, the cherishing of feelings of individual independence and self-reliance, and the formation of tastes and opinions, the season of youth is of the utmost importance to yourselves.

There is one consideration which shews in a peculiarly striking manner the importance of this period. It is this. At this period, the character is actually in the process of formation, in all the respects which I have noticed. Whether you may be aware of this or not, whether you may be exerting yourselves to form it aright or not, still it is forming. In regard to the right improvement of time, for example, if you neglect to form correct habits in this respect, if you leave yourselves to be governed in the employment of your time, as the circumstances around, or the impulse of the moment may direct, and cherish the thought that you are forming no distinct habits in this respect,, you will find yourselves to have been most sadly mistaken. A habit will, during all this, time, have been creeping over you, throwing around you its chains, and drawing them closer and closer. This habit has been forming in a gradual manner it is true, as all habits are formed, in an imperceptible manner, it may be, but none the less surely, none the less powerfully on that account. Your character then in this respect is in a process of formation during -the season of youth, whether you are aware of it or not. And it is the same in regard to the proper choice of companions. If you neglect to exercise judgment in the selection of associates, those, who are idle and dissipated and always seeking for new companions and especially for companions whom they can direct and control, will seek your society and solicit your companionship.