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Charles Dicken's stories from the Christmas numbers of "Household words" and "All the year round"

Charles Dickens · 1896 · Scanned text · Free in the US

299,447 words · about 20 h 58 min to read

Period artwork: Interior of the Bodleian Library, 1845
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About this book

Language
English
Published
1896
Length
299,447 words · about 20 h 58 min
Sections
42 reader sections
Text
Scanned text, read from page scans by OCR; may contain errors
Rights
Public domain in the United States

 

Contents (42)
  1. Contents under 1 min
  2. Introduction about 4 min
  3. Chapter II. — The Road about 1 min
  4. Chapter III. — The Bill. [Originally in seven chapters about 3 min
  5. Chapter V. — The Restitution about 1 min
  6. Chapter III. — Picking up the Tinker under 1 min
  7. Chapter I. — His Leaving it till called for. Chapter II. — His Boots. Chapter HI. — His Brown Paper Parcel about 1 min
  8. Chapter II. — Mrs. Lirriper relates how Jemmy topped up. [Originally in seven chapters about 4 min
  9. Chapter III. — Main Line. — The Boy at Mugby. Chapter IV. — No. 1 Branch Line. — The Signalman. [Originally in eight chapters about 57 min
  10. Chapter I. THE FIRST POOR TRAVELLER about 39 min
  11. Chapter II. THE ROAD about 58 min
  12. Chapter III. THE BILL about 5 min
  13. Chapter I. THE WRECK about 55 min
  14. Chapter II. THE DELIVERANCE about 2 h 40 min
  15. Chapter III. THE RAFTS ON THE RIVER about 48 min
  16. Chapter I. THE MORTALS IN THE HOUSE about 31 min
  17. Chapter II. THE GHOST IN MASTER B.'s ROOM about 18 min
  18. Chapter III. THE GHOST IN THE CORNER ROOM about 3 min
  19. Chapter I. THE VILLAGE about 14 min
  20. Chapter II. THE MONEY about 20 min
  21. Chapter III. THE CLUB-NIGHT about 18 min
  22. Chapter IV. THE SEAFAEING MAN about 1 h 22 min
  23. Chapter I. PICKING UP SOOT AND CINDERS about 20 min
  24. Chapter II. PICKING UP MISS KIMMEENS about 19 min
  25. Chapter III. PICKING UP THE TINKER about 5 min
  26. Chapter I. HIS LEAVING IT TILL CALLED FOR about 22 min
  27. Chapter II. HIS BOOTS about 31 min
  28. Chapter III. HIS BROWN-PAPEE PARCEL about 18 min
  29. Chapter IV. HIS WONDERFUL END. " about 13 min
  30. Chapter I about 54 min
  31. Chapter II. HOW THE PARLOURS ADDED A FEW WORDS about 1 h 54 min
  32. Chapter III. TO BE TAKEN WITH A GRAIN OF SALT about 20 min
  33. I about 9 min
  34. II. "You remember me, Young Jackson?" about 13 min
  35. III about 19 min
  36. Chapter II. BARBOX BROTHERS AND CO about 28 min
  37. Chapter III about 16 min
  38. Chapter IV. NO. 1 BRANCH LINE. — THE SIGNAL-MAN about 32 min
  39. Act I. THE CURTAIN RISES about 1 h 20 min
  40. Act II. VENDALE MAKES LOVE about 47 min
  41. Act III. IN THE VALLEY about 40 min
  42. Act IV. THE CLOCK-LOCK about 35 min

Continue:

Contents

PAGB

The Holly-Tree Inn 60 vii

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.

Introduction

Thf stories which were published in the Christmas Numbers of "HovTsehold Words" and "All the Year Round" have often been referred to as Christmas stories, and are hXcl so described on the title page of the book m whrch they were republished by Chapman & Hall. With the e^xcention of "The Holly-Tree Inn," however their connection wMi Christmas was of the slightest, and that there was no original intention of making that connection any stronger is shown in the letter in which Charles Dickens invited the Eev James White to contribute to the first of the fries, "I Romid of Stories by the Christmas Fire" 'We are not getting onr Christmas Extra Number together," it said "and I think you are the boy to do, if yon will, one of the stories I propose to give the number some fireside name, aic to make it consist entirely of short stories supposed to be old^y a family sitting round the fire. I don't care about fJrre^-ring to Ghristmas at all, nor do I design to connect them together, otherwise than by their names.

THs!ni the main, was the plan of all the numbers which followed with the exception of "The Penis of Certain EnS pT^oners" and "No Thoroughfare," which were sto?ies complete in themselves and occupying the whole of

^^iLTh^rcSs Dickens's woi-k connected -.h these numbers appears in the present volume, together with one of Wilkie \?ollins's contribiitions which ai;e necessary for the complete telling of some of the s or es^ ,^^'\' orv of republished here Collins's chapter "^eluding the s^^^^^^^ " The Wreck of the Golden Mary," and the story called ihe Seafaring Man " in " A Message from the Sea.' Neither ot ftese hal been reprinted until now. The second chapter of "The Perils of Certain English Prisoners " does not appear L the English reprint of the Chnstmas Jum^^^ although the number has since been published complete m another volume.

xii INTRODUCTION.

That these Christmas Numbers were extremely and pro^ gressively popular is well known, and it may suffice to say here that the eighty thousand copies of "The Seven Poor Travellers " grew into the three hundred thousand of " No Thoroughfare/' with every prospect of further increase in the future.

But by this time Charles Dickens was tired of the peculiar and exacting work which the Christmas Numbers involved, and took the opportunity of the commencement of a New Series of " All the Year Eound " to discontinue them, referring to them in the announcement of the New Series in the following words : " The Extra Christmas Number has been so extensively, and regularly, and often imitated, that It IS m very great danger of becoming tiresome. I have therefore resolved (though I cannot add, willingly) to abolish iiJo *^^g.^ig^est tide of its success." This was written in 1868. Since then the Christmas Number has increased and multiplied to an extent which nobody in those days would have thought possible. Whether quality has kept pace with quantity is another matter.

CHAELES DICKENS

THE YOUNGER.

or

NOTES.

A ROUND OF STORIES BY THE CHRISTMAS FIRE.

(The Christmas Number of "Household Wjyrds " for 1852.)

The Poor Relation's Story.

The Child's Story.

TThe two stories here reprinted were Charles Dickens's contri bution to the " Round of Stories," which had no introduction oi "framework." "The Child's Story" seems to have particularly struck so good a judge as Mrs. Gaskell, herself the author of " The Nurse's Story " in the same number, for we read m a letter of the 17th of December, 1852, from Charles Dickens m reply to one of hers (which has not been preserved), " I received your kind note yesterday morning with the truest gratification, for 1 am the writer of ' The Child's Story ' as well as of ' The Poor Relation s. I assure you, you have given me the liveliest and heartiest pleasure by what you say of it."]

ANOTHER ROUND OF STORIES BY THE CHRISTMAS

FIRE.

{The Christmas Number of ''Household Words" for 1853.)

The Schoolboy's Story.

Nobody's Story.

riN the winter of 18.53 Charles Dickens was travelling in Italy with Wilkie Collins and Augustus Egg, but occupied himself even then in writing under all sorts of difficulties In sending "The Schoolboy's Story" to W. H. Wills, the sub-editor of "Household Words," in a letter dated " Rome, Thursday afternoon, Nov. 17th, 1853 " he said : " The enclosed little paper for the Christmas Number is in a character that nobody else is likely to hit and which is pretty sure to be considered pleasant. Let Forster have the MS.

xiii xiv CHRISTMAS NUMBERS.

with the proof, and I know he will correct it to the minutest point. I have a notion of another little story, also for the Christmas Number. If I can do it at Venice, I will, and send it straight on. But it is not easy to work under these circumstances. In travelling we generally get up about three ; and in resting we are perpetually roaming about in all manner of places, not to mention my beinglaid hold of by all manner of people. ... In making up the Christmas number, don't consider my paper or papers, Mdth any reference saving to where they will fall best. I have no liking, in the case, for any particular place."]

THE SEVEN POOR TRAVELLERS.

{The Christmas Numhei^ of ^'Household Words "for 1854.)

In Two Chapters.

Chapter II. — The Road

[This was the first of the Christmas Numbers for which Charles Dickens wrote a " framework," in which the stories of other contributors were set with a greater or less degree of plausibility, and to which he also usually added short stories of his own. It was in seven chapters, with " The Road " to wind up with.

"The story of Richard Doubledick" was afterwards used for one of the "Readings," and proved as popular with hearers as it had been with readers. Writing to M. de Cerjat in January, 1855, Charles Dickens said of it : " The first ten pages or so — all under the head of ' The First Poor Traveller ' — are written by me, and I hope you will find, in the story of the soldier which they contain, something that may move you a little. It moved me not a little in the writing, and I believe has touched a vast number of people. We have sold eighty thousand of it."

Watts's Charity still remains in Rochester, but, like the relics of most " pious founders," has been greatly changed, as to its scope and objects, during the last few years. A quaint monument to Watts is the most prominent object on the wall of the southwest transept of the Cathedral, and underneath it is now placed a brass thus inscribed : " Charles Dickens. Born at Portsmouth, seventh of February, 1812. Died at Gadshill Place, by Rochester, ninth of June, 1870. Buried in Westminster Abbey. To connect his memory with the scenes in which his earliest and his latest years were passed, and with the associations of Rochester Cathedral and its neighbourhood which extended over all his life, this Tablet, with the sanction of the Dean and Chapter, is placed by his Executors."]

NOTES. XV

THE HOLLY-TREE INN. (The Christmas Number of "Household Words" for 1855.)

In Three Chapters.

Chapter L — The Guest.

Chapter IL — The Boots.

Chapter III. — The Bill. [Originally in seven chapters

The Boots's story was used afterwards for one of the short Readhigs, and was always one of the most popular of the series.

More than one attempt has been made to dramatise this httle story — the first was at the Adelphi by Benjamin Webster, who tried a sort of hash of all the stories in the number — but uniformly, as might have been expected, with unsatisfactory results.]

THE WRECK OF THE GOLDEN MARY.

Being the Captain's Account of the Loss of the Ship, AND THE Mate's Account of the Great Deliverance of her People in an Open Boat at Sea.

{The Christmas Number of ''Household Words" for 1856.)

In Two Chapters.

Chapter L — The Wreck.

Chapter IL — The Deliverance.

[The original number was in three parts — " The Wreck " ; " The Beguilement in the Boats," which contained the stories by other contributors ; and " The Deliverance."

This was the joint work of Charles Dickens and Wilkie Collins, " The Wreck " having been written by the former, " The Deliverance " by the latter. " The Deliverance " was not included in the English reprint, and is now republished for the first time.]

xvi CHRISTMAS NUMBERS.

And their Treasure in Women, Children, Silver, and

Jewels. (.The Christinas dumber of "Household Words" for 1857.)

In Three Chapters.

Chapter L — The Island of Silver Store.

Chapter IL — The Prison in the Woods.

Chapter IIL — The Rafts on the River.

[The first and third chapters of " The Perils of Certain English 1 risoners " were written by Charles Dickens. The second chapter was the work of Wilkie Collins. These three chapters formed the whole ol the number, there being no additional stories by other writers.] . "^

A HOUSE TO LET.

(The Christmas Number of "Household Words " for 1858.)

['J A House to Let " was originally in six chapters, but only a small portion of the framework (if any) was written by Chailes iJickens, and it has consequently not been reprinted here. Therefore 1 have only republished a short story '* Going into Society," which he contributed to the general contents of the number, and which, under the name of "Mr. Chops, the Dwarf" became very popular as one of the shorter Readings.]

THE HAUNTED HOUSE.

(The Chnstmas Number of "All the Year Round" for 1859.)

In Three Chapters.

Chapter L — The Mortals in the House.

Chapter IL — The Ghost in Master B.'s Room. Chapter IH. — The Ghost in the Corner Room.

[This, the first Christmas Number of " All the Year Round " was in its original form in eight chapters. '

Of "The Mortals in the House," Jack Governor is a slight sketch

NOTES. xvii

of Clarkson Stanfield, and in the name at least of Mr. Undery may be traced Mr. Ouvry, 'who was for many years Charles Dickens's "friend and solicitor."

As is so often the case in Charles Dickens's writings there are several autobiographical touches in " The Ghost in Master B.'s Room," notably in the passage, "I was taken home, and there was debt in the house as well as death, and we had a sale there. My only little bed was so superciliously looked upon by a power unknown to me, hazily called The Trade, that a brass coal-scuttle, a roasting-jack, and a bird-cage were obliged to be put into it to* make a lot of it, and then it went for a soBg. So I heard mentioned, and I wondered what song, and thought what a dismal song it must have been to sing."]

A MESSAGE FROM THE SEA.

{Being the Christmas Number of "All the Year Round ^^ for 1860.)

In Five Chapters.

Chapter V. — The Restitution

[In the original number "The Club-Night" contained stories by other writers, and was divided into five parts.

" The Village " and " The Club-Night " were by Charles Dickens ; " The Money " and " The Restitution " by Charles Dickens and Wilkie Collins; and "The Seafaring INIan " by Wilkie Collins. " The Club-Night " and " The Seafaring Man " are now reprinted for the first time.

Captain Jorgan was a fanciful sketch of Captain E. E. Morgan, in whose ship Charles Dickens came home from his first visit to America, and who was for many years a commander in the Grinnell line of sailing packets between London and New York. Charles Dickens wrote to him after the publication of " A Message from the Sea " : "I hope you will have seen the Christmas Number of ' All the Year Round.' Here and there in the description of the seafaring hero, I have given a touch or two of remembi-ance of Somebody you know, very heartily desiring that thousands of people may have some faint reflection of the pleasure I have for many years derived from the contemplation of a most amiable nature and most remarkable man."]

xviii CHRISTMAS NUMBERS.

TOM TIDDLER'S GROUND.

{The Christmas Number of ''All the Year Round '* for 1861.)

In Three Chapters.

Chapter III. — Picking up the Tinker

[Mr. Mopes had a real prototype near Stevenage, in Hertfordshire, and the description here of his retreat and of his personal appearance is little, if at all, exaggerated.

The Christmas Xumbers were, at about this time, making their way to the extraordinary success which they ultimately attained. " The news of the Christmas Number," Charles Dickens wrote, in December, 1861, from Preston, where he was reading, " is indeed glorious, and nothing can look brighter or better than the prospects of the illustrious publication."]

SOMEBODY'S LUGGAGE.

{The Christmas Number of "All the Year Mound" for 1862.)

In Four Chapters.

Chapter I. — His Leaving it till called for. Chapter II. — His Boots. Chapter HI. — His Brown Paper Parcel

Chapter IV. — His Wonderful End.

[Charles Dickens's own opinion of the wonderful waiter — surely one of his completest and most vivid character pictures — ran as follows: "I have been at work with such a w^ill that I have done the opening and conclusion of the Christmas Number. They are done in the character of a waiter, and I think are exceedingly droll._ The thread on which the stories are to hang, is spun by this waiter, and is, purposely, very slight ; but has, I fancy, a ridiculously comical and unexpected "end. The waiter's account of himself includes (I hope) everything you know about waiters, presented humorously."]

The number was originally in ten chapters.

NOTES. xix

MRS. LIRRIPER'S LODGINGS.

{The Christmas Number of ''All the Year Round" for 1863.) In Two Chapters.

CiiArxER I. — How Mrs. Lirriper carried on the Business. Chapter II. — How the Parlours added a Few Words.

[This number originally consisted of seven chapters. Of its success Charles Dickens wrote : " Mrs. Lirripyer is indeed a most brilliant old lady. God bless her ! "]

MRS. LIRRIPER'S LEGACY.

{The Christmas Number of "All the Year Round "for 1864.)

In Two Chapters.

Chapter I. — Mrs. Lirriper relates how she went on and WENT over.

Chapter II. — Mrs. Lirriper relates how Jemmy topped up. [Originally in seven chapters

That Charles Dickens sometimes thoroughly enjoyed the humour of his own work is very well known. Writing to John Forster about "Mrs. Lirriper's Legacy," he said: "I can report that I have finished the job I set myself, and that it has in it something — to me at all events — so extraordinarily droll, that though I have been reading it some hundred times in the course of the writing, I have never been able to look at it with the least composure, but have always roared in the most unblushing manner. I leave you to find out what it was." It was the encounter of the Major with Mr. Buffle.

Forster had a very high opinion of Mrs. Lirriper. " The triumph of the Christmas achievements in these days was Mrs. Lirriper," he says. " She took her place at once among people known to everybody ; and all the world talked of Major Jemmy Jackman and his friend, the poor elderly lodging-house keeper of the Strand with her miserable cares, and rivalries, and worries, as if they had both been as long in London and as well known as Norfolk-street itself. A dozen volumes could not have told more than those dozen pages did. The ' Legacy ' followed the ' Lodgings ' in 1864, and there was no falling off in the fun and laughter."]

CHRISTMAS NUMBERS.

DR. MARIGOLD'S PRESCRIPTIONS.

{The Christmas Number of ''All the Year Round'' for 1865.) In Three Chapters.

Chapter I. — To be taken Immediately.

Chapter II. — To be taken with a Grain of Salt. Chapter III. — To be taken for Life.

[Originally in eight chapters.

Of the delightful Dr. Marigold, Charles Dickens wrote, in various letters, thus : " If people at large understand a Cheap Jack, my part of the Christmas Number will do well. It is wonderfully like the real thing; of course, a little refined and humoured." "I do hope that in the beginning and end of the Christmas Number you will find something that will strike you as being fresh, forcible, and full of spirits." Describing the composition of the little story, he wrote : " Tired with ' Our Mutual,' I sat down to cast about for an idea, with a depressing notion that I was, for the moment, overworked. Suddenly, the little character that you will see, and all belonging to it, came flashing up in the most cheerful manner, and I had only to look on and leisurely describe it." " I received your letter in praise of Dr. Marigold," he wrote, later, to Lord Lytton, " and read and re-read all your generous words fifty times over, with inexpressible delight. I cannot tell you how they gratified and affected me." Forster was unquestionably right in calling Dr. Marigold " a splendid example of his humour, pathos, and character." AVriting to Charles Kent, Charles Dickens said : " I hope and believe that the Doctor is nothing but a good 'un. He has perfectly astonished Forster, who writes, ' neither good, gooder, or goodest, but super-excellent ; all through, there is such a relish of you at yom' best, as I could not have believed in after a long story.' " The long story was " Our Mutual Friend," then recently finished.

The public appreciation of " Dr. Marigold" was as great as that of friendly critics. The sale of the number considerably exceeded two hundred thousand.

"Dr. Marigold" was as successful on the platform as elsewhere, and became, perhaps, the greatest favourite of all Charles Dickens's Readings. Its first public presentation was preceded by a "trial reading," of which Mr. George Dolby, in his excellent book, " Charles Dickens as I knew him," gives the following account : " The audience consisted of his family, and Mr. Robert Browning, Mr. Wilkie Collins, Mr. Charles Fechter, Mr. John Forster, Mr. Arthur Chappell, Mr. Charles Kent, and myself. It is hardly

NOTES. xxi

necessary to say that the verdict was unanimously favourable. Everybody was astonished by the extraordinary ease and fluency with which the patter of the Cheap Jack was delivered, and the subtlety of the humour which pervaded the whole presentation." Mr. Dolby also mentions " the interesting fact that, although to many of his hearers at that eventful rehearsal of ' Dr. Marigold,' it was the first time it had been read, Mr. Dickens had, since its appearance as a Christmas Number, only three months previously, adapted it as a Reading, and had rehearsed it to himseK considerably over two hundred times." Of the effect of the Reading on the public, Mr. Dolby adds : '"Dr. Marigold,' as a Reading, more than realised the anticipations of even the most sanguine of Mr. Dickens's friends, whilst the public, and those who in various ways were more immediately interested in the Readings,'were convinced that up to that time they had had but a very faint conception of Mr. Dickens's i)owers either as an adapter or an elocutionist."

Of the ghost story which Charles Dickens contributed to " Dr. Marigold's Prescriptions," he wrote to Miss Mary Boyle : " I am charmed to learn that you have had a freeze out of my ghost story. It rather did give me a shiver up the back, in the writing."]

MUGBY JUNCTION.

{The Christmas Numher of ''All the Year Round ''for 1866.)

In Four Chapters.

Chapter I. — Barbox Brothers.

Chapter II. — Barbox Brothers and Co.

Chapter III. — Main Line. — The Boy at Mugby. Chapter IV. — No. 1 Branch Line. — The Signalman. [Originally in eight chapters

" Mugby Junction," though certainly not so admirably good as some of its predecessors, attained the extraordinary sale of two hundred and fifty thousand copies in its first week.

The ghost story was suggested by a wild chalk-pit which breaks the long tunnel between Higham and Strood stations, near Gadshill.

The famous " Boy at Mugby " was taken from a real boy, and it was at Rugby Station that he presented himself to Charles Dickens. Mr. Dolby thus describes the meeting, an accident having necessitated a change of carriage at Rugby : " While I was busy superintending the transfer of the light baggage, Mr. Dickens came along the platform in a state of great excitement, and requested me to accompany him to the refreshment-room. Then, standing in the xxii CHRISTMAS NUMBERS.

doorway, and pointing with his finger, he described the picture he particularly wished to impress on my mind, ' You see, Dolby, — stove to right hand — torn cocoanut matting on floor — counter across room — coffee-urn — tea-urn — plates of rusks — piles of sawdust sandwiches and shrunken-up oranges — bottles — tumblers — and glasses on counter — and, behind counter, note particularly Our Missis.' . . . When the train was fairly off again, IMr, Dickens proceeded to explain. Entering the refreshment-room, he and Mr. Wills had each asked for a cup of coffee, which was supplied to them. While W^ills was feeling in his pocket for some small change wherewith to pay, Mr. Dickens reached across the counter for the sugar and milk, when both articles were suddenly snatched away from him and placed beneath the counter, while his ears were greeted with the remark, made in shrill and shrewish tones, 'You sha'n't have any milk and sugar till you two fellows have paid for your coffee.' This speech was delivered by the woman whom he had pointed out to me as ' Our Missis ' ; and it gave infinite amusement to a page in buttons, who, with that demoniacal spirit which seems to seize some boys at the idea of somebody else ' catching it,' was so overjoyed that he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter."

" The Boy at Mugby " made a fairly successful reading, but " Barbox Brothers " was not so fortunate. A trial reading filled the minds of the author and other practical judges with misgivings which were amply justified by the results. It became apparent on the first public Reading that Barbox did not contain the elements of platform popularity, and was promptly dropped out of the list.]

NO THOROUGHFARE.

{The Christmas Number of "All the Year Round" for 1867.)

[This, the last of Charles Dickens's Christmas Numbers, was complete in itself. Of the five portions into which the story is divided, " The Overture " and " The Third Act " were written by Charles Dickens ; the second act was the work of Wilkie Collins ; and the first and fourth acts were written in collaboration by the two authors.

Over three hundred thousand copies of this number were sold.

John Forster says that "'No Thoroughfare' was transformed into a play for Mr. Fechter, with a view to which it had been planned originally," by Wilkie Collins during Charles Dickens's absence in America, but this is not strictly accurate. The plav was put together by Charles Dickens, AVilkie Collins, Fechter, and Benjamin Webster, the actor-manager of the Adelphi Theatre. When Charles Dickens went to America, he left me to look after his interests in the play, with instructions to attend rehearsals and take such steps in the way of alteration or cutting as I might think

NOTES. xxiii

fit, but not to interfere or produce my credentials unless, in my judgment, that course became absolutely necessary. As it was impossible to get Collins and the two actors to agree, I was obliged, to the general consternation, to interfere one day, and to cut about three-quarters of an hour out of the mountain act at one fell swoop. However, we all got on very well afterwards ; and the play was a great success, admirably acted as it was by Fechter as Obenreizer, Webster as Joey Ladle, George Belmore as Bintrey, Henry Neville as Vendale, Miss Carlotta Leclercq as Marguerite, and a generally efficient cast.

My father wrote to me from America in reply to my report of the first night : " It was a great relief and delight to me, for I had no confidence in its success, being reduced to the confines of despair by its length. If I could have rehearsed it, I"'should have taken the best part of an hour out of it." I think it must have been at least an hour and a half that 1 got out of it !]

STOEIES FROM CHRISTMAS NUMBEES.

From "A Round of Stories by the Christmas Fire,'' the Extra Christmas Number of ^^ Household Words," Christmas, 1852.

THE POOR RELATION'S STORY.

He was very reluctant to take precedence of so many respected members of the family, by beginning the round of stories they were to relate as they sat in a goodly circle by the Christmas fire ; and he modestly suggested that it would be more correct if "John our esteemed host " (whose health he begged to drink) would have the kindness to begin. For as to himself, he said, he was so little used

to lead the way that really But as they all cried out here,

that he must begin, and agreed with one voice that he might, could, would, and should begin, he left off rubbing his hands, and took his legs out from under his arm-chair, and did begin.

I have no doubt (said the poor relation) that I shall surprise the assembled members of our family, and particularly John our esteemed host to whom we are so much indebted for the great hospitality with which he has this day entertained us, by the confession I am going to make. But, if you do me the honour to be surprised at anything that falls from a person so unimportant in the family as I am, I can only say that I shall be scrupulously accurate in all I relate.

I am not what I am supposed to be. I am quite another thing. Perhaps before I go further, I had better glance at what I am supposed to be.

It is supposed, unless I mistake — the assembled members of our family will correct me if I do, which is very likely (here the poor relation looked mildly about him for contradiction) ; that I am nobody's enemy but my own. That I never met with any particular success in anything. That I failed in business because I was unbusiness-like and credulous — in not being prepared for the interested designs of my partner. That I failed in love, because I

I was ridiculously trustful — in thinking it impossible that Christiana could deceive me. That I failed in ray expectations from my Uncle Chill, on account of not being as sharp as he could have wished in worldly matters. That, through life, I have been rather put upon and disappointed in a general way. That I am at present a bachelor of between fifty-nine and sixty years of age, living on a limited income in the form of a quarterly allowance, to which I see that John our esteemed host wishes me to make no further allusion.

The supposition as to my present pursuits and habits is to the following effect.

I live in a lodging in the Clapham Road — a very clean back room, in a very respectable house — where I am expected not to be at home in the day-time, unless poorly ; and which I usually leave in the morning at nine o'clock, on pretence of going to business. I take my breakfast — my roll and butter, and my half-pint of coffee — at the old-established coffee-shop near Westminster Bridge ; and then I go into the City — I don't know why — and sit in Garraway's Coffee House, and on 'Change, and walk about, and look into a few ofiices and counting-houses where some of my relations or acquaintance are so good as to tolerate me, and where I stand by the fire if the weather happens to be cold. I get through the day in this way until five o'clock, and then I dine : at a cost, on the average, of one and threepence. Having still a little money to spend on my evening's entertainment, I look into the old-established coffee-shop as I go home, and take my cup of tea, and perhaps my bit of toast. So, as the large hand of the clock makes its way round to the morning hour again, I make my way round to the

Clapham Road again, and go to bed when I get to my lodging

fire being expensive, and being objected to by the family on account of its giving trouble and making a dirt.

Sometimes, one of my relations or acquaintances is so obliging as to ask me to dinner. Those are holiday occasions, and then I generally walk in the Park. I am a solitary man, and seldom walk with anybody. Not that I am avoided because I am shabby ; for I am not at all shabby, having always a very good suit of black on (or rather Oxford mixture, which has the appearance of black and wears much better) ; but I have got into a habit of speaking low, and bemg rather silent, and my spirits are not high, and I am sensible that I am not an attractive companion.

The only exception to this general rule is the child of my first cousm, httle Frank. I have a particular affection for that child, any he takes very kindly to me. He is a diffident boy by nature ; and m a crowd he is soon run over, as I may say, and forgotten. He and I, however, get on exceedingly well. I have a fancy that the poor child will in time succeed to my peculiar position in the family. We talk but little ; still, we understand each other. We walk about, hand in hand ; and without much speaking he knows what I mean, and I know what he means. When he was very little indeed, I used to take him to the windows of the toy-shops, and show him the toys inside. It is surprising how soon he found out that I would have made him a great many presents if I had been in circumstances to do it.

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