The ladies' guide to health and beauty

Front matter

*.

I ay ^

THE LADIES' GUIDE

Preface

WHAT all wives, mothers and maidens should know respecting themselves, is fully and clearly stated in this new, very comprehensive and charming volume. It contains the most important and valuable information concerning the female organism, the physical Hfe of woman, and all subjects in which she is most c^eply interested.

Part I. — Love and Marriage. The love which blossoms into marriage and maternity; the wise counsels which should regulate courtship and the conjugal state ; and the necessary qualifications for married life, are all set forth in a way that both instructs and delights the reader.

How to render marriage and motherhood the sources of the purest and deepest happiness known to earth ; the temperaments that should unite to form a perfect wedlock ; the harmonious development of the whole woman ; manly husbands and devoted wives ; these and kindred subjects enrich the pages of this work.

Part H. — The Reproductive Organs. This part treats of creative science. Reproduction is nature's grandest work, yet how little understood! Ignorance on such a subject as this is a sin. This comprehensive volume pours a flood of light on all the wonderful nnd complex matters peculiar to women.

It answers questions which all mothers and daughters desire to ask and furnishes information on a great variety of subjects but little understood, which are all important to the health, the happiness and the long life of both the married and. the unmarried.

This work is a self-instructor, replete with knowledge of the female anatomy. *'Know thyself" is the old adage, and every woman can fulfill the injunction by perusing this volume. It is a faithful friend and companion. All that goes before childbirth; all that married persons should Cully know and understand, is plainly stated. And

iii iv PREFACE.

these delicate subjects are treated in such a way that womanly mociesty is never oft'ended.

The marvelous human germ; the growth of the new life; labor and confinement; lactation or nursing, are all described, together with female complaints and diseases. The kind physician and helper is always at hand. Indeed, this volume, packed from lid to lid with excellent advice, plain hints and suggestions, and information needed every day, may truly be called a life-saver.

Part III. — Care and Management of Children. A well-known vvriter has said, "It is the mother after all that has the most to da with the making or marring of the man." What every mother should fully understand respecting the child, born of her love and committed to her care, is contained in this work and should be read in every home throughout the land. Our American girls are growing stronger, rounding out into r more perfect physique, and securing better health, because their mo.ners are giving them more intelligent care in childhood, and our best schools afford them a thorough physical education. This work is right in the line of that education which aims to make our American youth as strong and vigorous in body as they are bright and capable in mind.

Part IV. — Female Beauty and Accomplishments. This is a subject of universal interest. To improve one's personal appearance and endow it with new charms might almost be considered a duty. More than half of the success in life among both sexes depends upon personal appearance and first impressions. Good common sense, hygienic rules and suggestions are of the utmost value. Many a lady of fashion, pale, sickly, lifeless and miserable, would give all she is worth for the rosy bloom on the cheeks of the healthy, happy peasant girl.

Part V. — Politeness; or. Woman in Society. Tasteful and becoming dress; deportment and good manners; the art of conversing well; rules of etiquette, and other important subjects are. comprised in this part of the volume, the comprehensive and valuable character of which is seen at a glance.

CONTEINITS.

CHAPTER I. The Qualifications for Married Life

tvove, the Source of Happiness or Misery — Woman's Place in Mohammed's Paradise — Maniage an Ordinance of Heaven — Parents Stamp their Characteristics on their Children — Nature's Time for Marrying — Well Developed Mind and Body — Evil Habits — Self-Government and Discipline — Industry and Thrift — Young Ladies and the Fashions — Domestic Duties — Value of Self-Reliance—^ Lamentable Ignorance — Hereditary Influence — Marriage Means Parentage- Lawful Pride in Fine Offspring 17

Chapter II

Marrying to Please Others— Stigma of " Old Maid," or " Old Bachelor '*— Sound Judgment Needed — "Petticoat Government" — Both Parties Should Do the Courting — Flirting as a Pastime — Fashion and Domestic Duties — How Romance Disappears — Dram-Drinking Husbands — Marrying for Money — Long Courtships — Temperaments that are Too Much Alike — Like Parents, Like Children- Prowling Fortune-Hunters — Marrying Out of Your Natural Sphere — Evils of Coquettery — Defective Education — Exciting Unhealthy Passions — Harmonious Development of the Whole Woman 26

CHAPTER III. Like Begets Like

Bffects of Hereditary Disease — Mental or Nervous Organization — Living too Fast- Bilious Temperament — Coarse Muscles — Sluggish Brains — The Mental Dwarfed by the Physical — Well Balanced People — Perverted Passions — Violation of Physical Laws — Society in Upheaval — ^Young Ladies and Their Associates- Parental Responsibility — Transmitting Disease and Death — Sins of Parents Visited on Their Children — Perfecting the P,ace — The Characteristics of the

Child Determined by the Parents 37

V

CHAPTER IV. Love and Parentage

Courtship the Mere Alphabet of lyove — Glory of the Wife and Mother — Sharing Common Joys and Sorrows — Idolized Children — Perfect lyove and Confidence in Marriage — Animal Love and Moral Excellence — Wedlock's Sacred Bonds-- Physical and Mental Sexuality — Development of Female Charms — Blushing Maids — No Necessity for Female Beauty to Decline — Decay of Health — Household Drudgery — Bad Diet and Habits— Diminution of Affection in Marriage — Uncongenial Mates— Dying Before Your Time i9

CHAPTER V. Important Truths for the Newly Married

6elf-Improvement — Promoting Happiness — Conjugal Attentions — Cultivating Love — Remedy for Discords — Consecration, Each to the Other — Love's Little Indulgences — Wives and Money — Expressing Affection — Love no Longer Mentioned — Billing and Cooing — Manly Husbands — Devoted Wives — Animal Passion — First Great Business — Cold Indifference — Reasons of Infidelity — Highest Human Duty — Contentment Better than Dollars — Paralysis of the Affections — Starved Hearts 55

CHAPTER VI. Structure of the Pelvis

Meaning of the Term Pelvis — Natural Form and Dimensions — The Brim — Tne Cavity — Position in Regard to the Trunk of the Body — How the Womb is Supported — Separation of Bones During Childbirth — Loosening of Ligaments — Male and Female Pelvis Compared — Bones of the Male Harder Than in the Female — Deformities of the Pelvis — How Distortions are Produced ... 65

CHAPTER VII. Genital Organs of the Female

The Mons Veneris— The Labia, or Lips— The Vulva— The Clitoris— ^The Nymphae— . Vagina, or Caual Fxtending to the Uterus— The Sphincter—The Hymen and

CONTENTS. vii

Its Situation— -Uterus, or Womb— Fallopian Tubes— Mouth of the Uterus-- Internal Cavity — Mucous Membrane — Arteries, Veins and Nerves — The Ligaments — Structure of the Ovaries— Ovasacs, or Graafian Vesicles—Vesicles iu the Foetus — Nerves of the Ovaries 71

CHAPTER VIII. Menstruation

A Subject of Great Importance — Girl and Woman— Evils of Too Early Marriage^* Feeble Parents and Feeble Children— Duration of Monthly Period— Period of Puberty — Very Young Mothers — Close of the Menstrual Function— Some Remarkable Facts— Nature of the Menstrual Discharge— Suppressed by Pregnancy — Effects of Nursing — An Evil Practice — Poverty of Blood — Regularity Important — Effects of Dissipation — "Change of Life" — Profuse Discharges- Nervous Symptoms — Flushes of Heat — Bleeding at the Nose — Hysteria — ^The Blessing of Health . . „ 81

CHAPTER IX. Conception

The Seminal Animalcule— Body and Soul — Birth and Genius — Children of all Races Resemble their Parents — Each Parent an Agent— Testes and Ovaries— Zoosperms or Spermatozoa — How Impregnation Takes Place — Vast Numbers of Zoosperms — Egg of the Fowl — Most Favorable Period for Conception — How the Generative Act Should be Performed — When Impregnation is Not Likely to Take Place — Limiting the Number of Children — Prevention of Conception . . . . , ....,..,.♦»...», 95

CHAPTER X. Pregnancy

Cessation of Menses — Morning Sickness — Pains in the Breast — Quickening — Fluttering Motions — Flatulence — Increase in Size — Emaciation — Heartburn — Morbid Longings — Excitability o£ Mind — Suitable Clothing — Ablutions — Air and Exercise — Evils of Indolence — Ventilation and Drainage — Horrid Odors — Disinfectants — Pain a Warning — Hotbeds of Disease — Pure Water — Benefits of Rest — What to Eat — Spices and Condiments — Abuse of Stimulants— Rest' lessness and Sleep , . . , 106

CHAPTER XI. The Human Ovum, or Egg

Birth of Plants — How Animalcules are Formed — Amazing Number of Eggs in .^ishes — Spontaneous G^ueratioa a Myth— Ovaries of the Human Female-* viii CONTENTS

Seminal Fluid of the Male — Reception of the Ovum bj'- the Uterus — ^The Germinal Centre — Anatomy of the Testes — Evolution of Spermatozoa — Result of Impregnation — "The Turn of Life" — Remarkable Changes at Puberty — Woman's Organization Finer than that of Man — Peculiarities and Mission of Woman , . . . 12»

CHAPTER XII. Embryology, or Development of the Fcetus

Order of Grovrth — Vital Point of the Egg — Ovum Protected by Membranes—* Resemblance to the Egg of the Fowl — Rapid Changes of the Germ — Sizes of the Ovum at Different Periods — Formation of Bone and Muscle — Growth of the Vital Organs — How the Embryo is Nourished — Birth of More than One Child — Second Canception — Period of Gestation — Pregnancy Table — Number of Days to be Reckoned — From What to Date the Count — Mistakes in Reckoning— The Sex of the Child— Proportion of Boys to Girls 140

CHAPTER XIII. Parturition, or LaboRc

First Symptoms of Labov — "Grinding Pains" — Shivering Sensations — Stomach Sickness — Bearing Down and Cramps — Labor a Natural Process — Forced Assistance Dangerous- -Use of Instruments — Average Time of Labor — The After-Pains — Three Stages of Labor — Directions to Nurses — Position of the Patient — Costiveness — Use of Chloroform — What If the Doctor Is Absent ? — Stillbirths, and How to Treat Them— The Afterbirth— Clothing After Labor- Rest and Refreshment — Bandaging — The Sick-room — Attention to the Bladder — Treatment for the Bowels — Ignorant Nurses — Quietude and Employment 160

CHAPTER XIV. Miscarriage

The Young Wife — Miscarriage Can Generally be Prevented — Necessity of Judicious Advice — Penalties of Ignorance — Causes of Premature Labor — Violence ol Every Kind to be Avoided — Tb'eatening Symptoms—Decided Symptoms- Two Stages — Time of Greatest Danger — Flooding Treatment for Miscarriage — Great Care Required— Sponge and Shower-baths— Separate T^eeping Apartments — Healthful Exercise 186

CHAPTER XV. Lactation, or Nursing

Maternal Cares and Duties — Nursing a Pleasure to the True Mother — Nursing Natural and Healthy— Best Food for the Child — Ailments of the Breasts— Milk- F^ver —Gatherings — Care of the Nipples — Outward Applications — Stated Times

CONTENTS. ix

for Nursing — Danger of Overfeeding — Clothing for tfie Mother — What the Nursing Mother Should Eat — How Food and Drink Affect the Mother — Variety of Diet Recommended — Fits of Depression — Evils of Alcoholic Drinks —Benefits of Exercise — An Amiable Temper — Keeping Mind and Hands Occupied — ^Work a Grand Panacea — The Menses During Nursing 194

CHAPTER XVI. Weaning the Child

Se^t '^me for "Weaning — Effects of Prolonged Nursing — The Mother's Health to be Considered — Knock-kneed and Rickety Children — Weaning Gradually — Applications for the Nipples — Aloes and Wormwood — Drying up the Milk — Prepara" tions for Reducing Full Breasts — Symptoms Denoting the Necessity of Weaning — Delicate Mothers—Return of the Menses — Wet-Nurses — Inflammation and How to Treat It — Infectious Diseases — Stimulants to be Avoided .... 212

CHAPTER XVII. Ailments of the Mamm^, or Breasts

Small Nipples — Bad Effects of Pressure on the Breasts — Nipple-Shields, and How to Use Them— Best Applications — Cracked Nipples — Poor Supply of Milk — Applying Friction to the Breasts — Gatherings, and How Treated — Correct Position in Nursing — Sources of Inflammation — Sucking an Empty Breast- Permanent Injuries — Shivering Fits — Fainting Spells — Mother Not Strong Enough for the Child — Aperients During Nursing — Virtues of Brown Bread- Practice of Eating Honey and Fruit Jams — Use of Tea and Coffee — Evils of Constantly Dosing with Medicine 219

CHAPTER XVIII. Diseases Peculiar to Women

Chlorosi?, or Green Sickness — Symptoms and Treatment — Suppression of the Mense.^ — Promoting the General Health — Fresh Air and Exercise— Pleasant Recreation — Profuse Menstruation — Causes and Treatment — Proper Diet — Best Tonics — Leucorrhcea, or Whites — Indications of Inflammation — Baths and Injections — Location of the Disease — Falling of the Womb — How Caused — Remedies— Change of Life — Peculiarities of the Transition — Inflammation of the Breasts — Remedies to be Employed — Heartburn, Etc. — Constipation of Pregnancy — Toothache During Pregnancy — Varicose Veins— Urinary Difficulties — Secretion of Milk — Milk Fever — Puerperal Fever . , c . . . . 232

CHAPTER XIX. Pregnancy External to the Womb

A. Rare Occurrence — How the Ovum is Nourished — Causes of Such Conception- Peculiarities of the Cases — Obscure Symptoms — General Xreatmeiit — Appear^

CONTENTS.

ance of Inflammation— Bursting of the Cyst— Relief tor Pain— Opiates and Cordials— Operation for Removal of Foetus— Successful Treatment of thiii Peculiar Form of Pregnancy . . . , « , 371

CHAPTER XX. Ablution and Clothing

Every Child Should be Its Mother's Care— The Babe a " Well-spring of Pleasure" — Directions for Bathing — Prevention of Colds — Skin Eruptions — Free Use of Water— Cleanliness and Health— Treatment for Chafings— Bad Effects of Soda in the Laundry — Proper Time for Bathing the Infant — The Flannel Apron— Clothing — Material for the Belly-band — Light Dressing — Warmth a First Requisite — Danger of Convulsions— How Clothes Should be Fastened— Keeping the Head Cool— Clothing for Winter 277

CHAPTER XXI, Diet for the Infant

Away with Gruel—When the Tongue is Tied— First Food for the Infant— Both Breasts to be Drawn Alike — Too Frequent Nursing — Artificial Food — A Simple Preparation — Foods of Various Kinds — Baked Flour — Bread Crumbs — Oatmeal — Pulp of Rice — Foods Containing Starch-^Arrow- root— New Milk — When to Give Farinaceous Food — How Digestion is Aided — Salt and Sugar — Weak Mothers — No Real Substitute for Mother's Milk — Nursing and the Mother's Health — Care of the Feeding-bottle — Flatulence — Time for Weaning — Gin and Peppermint — Diet Versus Physic 287

CHAPTER XXII. Teething

. ofants Sometimes Born with Teeth — Proper Time for Teething to Commence— Length of Time in Cutting — Lancing the Gums— Mode of Operation — Infantile Convulsions — Gums Injured by Various Substances — Rubber and Leather Rings— Sucking the Thumb — Diet of Fruit — Ailments During Teething — Pain-= ful Dentition— Mild Form— Treatment Recommended— The Tepid Bath—Re^ laxed Bowels— The "Tooth-cough " — Disastrous Effectsof Opiates— Laudanum and Paregoric— Swollen Gums— Pain and Inflammation— Skin Blotches- Second Teeth —Parental Neglect ..,,,,,,.,,,,,,.,,. 30i

CONTENTS. tt

CHAPTER XXIII. Diseases of Children

Inflammation of the Eyes — Hiccough and its Treatment— Snuffles, or Cold in the Head — Remedies for Cold — Colic, and What to Do for It — Rules for Diet™ Indigestion and Vomiting-— Flatulence — Milk-crust, or Scabs— Thrush, and How to Overcome It— Costiveness — Diarrhoea — Cholera Infantum — A Dangerous Ailment — Full list of Remedies for Summer Complaint — ^ Alarming Symptom^^ — Stupor and Convulsions — Standard Treatment — Asthma — Result of Cold- Importance of Prompt Relief— Vaccination— Transmission of Dis^^ase— Vacci nation Should be Repeated ....••* 312

CHAPTER XXIV. How TO Prevent Disease

Unhealthy Boys and Girls — The Overworked Brain — Tendency to Scrofula — Preventive Measures — Building Up the System — Girls Who Stoop — Curvature of the Spine — Treatment for Spinal Affections — Games of Sport for Young L/adies — Consumption-^ Blood-spitting — Causes and Remedies — Poor Diet — Treatment for Sore Throat — Evil Effects of Tobacco — Bleeding from the Nose — Fainting — Costiveness — Too Much Medicine — Appeal to American Mothers — Pimples on the Face — Gum-boils — How to Cure Corns — How to Destroy Warts — Delicate Young Ladies— Bodily Improvement among American Girls . . . ^ 33*

CHAPTER XXV. Personal Appearance

a. Subject of Universal Interest — Looking Only to Immediate Effect^ — How to Assist Nature — Fashionable Ignorance— Nostrums and Quack Cosmetics- Evening Dissipation— Exposure of Health— A Simple Toilet the Best— Harmful Dress — Barbarous Decorations — Conditions on which Personal Beauty Depends —Neglect of Mind and Body— Cleanliness — ^Temperance in All Things — Turning Night into Day — Abuse of Digestion — Sickly Paleness — How Female Loveliness is Lost — Delicate Women — Painted Simpletons — Derangement of the Pulse— Hygiene of the Greeks 351 iij CONTENTS.

CHAPTER XXVI. Bathing for Health and Beauty

Beauty a Thiug to be Prized — Personal Cleanliness — Vast Influence of Soap anci Water — Choked Perspiration — Secretions of Skin and Teeth — Contagious Poisons — Fruitful Sources of Ill-health— Impoverished Blood— The Tepid Bath — Ablutions Among Jews and Mohammedans — Dirt and Disease — Common Neglect of Bathing — Bath-houses in Europe — The Jolly Frenchman — Sea-bathing — Directions for Using the Warm Bath— Right Temperatures of the Water — Exercise and Beauty 363 j '

Chapter XXVII

jSEAUTiFUL Skin and Complexion.

A. Garment of Surpassing Loveliness — Structure of the Skin — Pores for Perspiration — Absorbent Vessels — How to Beautify the Skin — Effect of Heat and Cold — Ablution — Anointing — Recipes for Skin Washes — Effect of Sunlight — • Benefits of Friction — Flesh-gloves — Diseases of the Skin — Black Spots an(' Marks — Boils — Blueness and Discoloration — Dandruff^Pimples — Itch — Scalj Eruptions — Treatment for Skin Ailments — Freckles — Moles — Paleness — Roughness — Redness— Scurf and Scurvy — Pits from Small-pox — Wrinkles — Abrasions — Bruises — Burns and Scalds — Cuts and Incised Wounds — Excoriations— Froet-bites— Scars 373

CHAPTER XXVIII. The Hair, and How to Arrange It

An Unrivalled Ornament — Hair of the Orientals — Premature Decay — Effect of Mental Emotions — Physical Structure — Hair-bulbs and Tubes — Chemical Constitution — Biography of a Hair — Necessity of General Health — Best Management — Use of Comb and Brush — Curl-papers — Crisping-tongs — Friction — Two Methods of Dressing — Objections to Artificial Styles — Cleansing the Scalp — Natural Arrangement of the Hair — Cutting and Clipping — A Dirty Habit — Luxuriant Growth — Curliness and Waviness — Fixing the Hair in Position 393

CHAPTER XXIX. Restoration of the Hair

Early Decay — Cold Water and Friction — Stimulating Applications^Restoring the Health of the Scalp— Baldness— The Hair Affected by Old Age— Other Causes — ^Thick Hats — Frequent, Close Cutting — Spanish Flies or Cantharides— -Oil*

CONTENTS. xiii

and Pomades— Klectricity — Diet and Regular Habits— Tonics— Gray Hairs, and How to Treat Them— Morbid Dryness of the Hair— Use of Glycerine- Matting and Felting — Excessive Scurfiness — Rosemary and Thyme — Caution Against Quack Remedies — How Superfluous Hairs are Destroyed— Cleansing the Partings- -1>^>rax and Ammonia 411

CHAPTER XXX. Beauty of Face and Features

Harmony and I-ight Proportion — The Forehead — Skin Eruptions — ^The Kyes— Most Expiessive Feature— How to Treat the Eyes— Belladonna — Dimness of Age — Remedies for Discoloration — Effects of Dust and Dirt — Eyelashes and Eyebrows — The N<»se — How to Mould and Beautify the Nose — Human Mouth and Lips — Chapped Lips — The Teeth — What Injures the Teeth — Tooth-powders and Use of the Brush — Use of Charcoal — The Ears — Wearing, Ear-rii|g^^ ihin and Throat— Neck of Beauty .420

Part V. Politeness; Or, Woman In Society

CHAPTER XXXL

Tasteful and Becoming Dress.

Every Lady £1— uld Pay Attention to Dress — Fitness — Subordinate to the Person — Suited to Different Seasons-— 0*"iceful Curves — Hints on Colors — Variety i^. Costume — Dressing the Hair — The Parasol — Bonnets — " Nut-brown Maids"— Use of Veils — Dress for the Neck. — Sore Throats — Sudden Changes of Covering ' -Wearing Ornaments — Vulgarity of Too Much Jewelry 434

CHAPTER XXXII. Deportment and Manners

iiiiportance of Good Behavior — Beauty Marred by Lack of Grace — Carriage of the Body Reveals Character — Absence of Affectation — Self-possession — A Graceful Walk — The Soldier' s Drill — Avoiding Offensive Habits — Disorderly Costume — Coarse Eating and Drinking — Disagreeable Noises — Love to Others — Promoting Universal Happiness — Selfishness — Right of Privacy — Casual Acquaintances — Haughtiness and Piide — Anger — Rudeness — Cheerful Demeanor — Drones and Workers — Empty Ornaments — Keeping Engagements — Diffusing Good Cheer 445 xiv

CONTENTS,

CHAPTER XXXIII. The Social Queen

Qualifications for Good Society — Value of Birth aud Breeding — Honor to Ladies— • Mistress of the House— Introductions — Salutations — Rudeness to Others- Polite Attentions — The Sexes Should Go Together — Variety of Ages — Perfect Equality — The Industrious Woman — Agreeable Companions — Taste and Refinement — Woman's Mission is to Adorn — Rules of Etiquette — Simplicity iu behavior — lyittle Observances — Receptions— Making Calls— Use of Cards--= faking Leave of the Host — Punctuality — ** Doing in Rome as Romans Po" 458

CHAPTER XXXIV. The Ar7' of Conversing Well

Value of Good Talk- -Conversation of Animals — All Can Have Something to Say — The Good Listener — Guiding the Conversation — Regard t^ Rights and Opinions of Others — Making Others Talk — Topics that are of Mutual Interest — Wit and Humor — Anecdotes — Talk at Table— Sense and Knowledge — Prosy People — Hobbies — Slang — Egotism and Boasting — Pet Phrases — Long-winded Talkers — Impolite Questions — Giving Attention — Avoiding Discussions — Paying Compliments — Moral Character , . . o 473

CHAPTER XXXV. Miscellaneous Rules of Etiquette

Rights of the Sidewalk — Meeting on the Street^Washington's Politeness — ^The Veil — Street Recognition — Behavior in Church — Punctuality — Reverent Demeanor — The Tardy — The Talkative and Restless — Expressing Approval- How to Treat "Company" — Gallantry — Politeness at Home — The Hoiden— The Prude — Indoor Recreations — Undue Familiarity — Courtesy to Strangers — Formal Calls—Social Visits and Entertainments — Simpering and FrivoUty 492

LOVEI.IEST OF I.OVELY THINGS

WORDSWORTH

THE YOUNG MOTHER

CHAPTER I. The Qualifications for Married Life

lyove, the Source of Happiness or Misery — Woman's Place in Mohammed g Paradise — Marriage an Ordinance of Heaven — Parents Stamp their Characteristics on their Children — Nature's Time for Marrying — Well Developed Mind and Body— Kvil Habits — Self Government and Discipline — Industry and Thrift — Young Ladies and the Fashions — Domestic Duties — Value of Self Reliance^ — Lamentable Ignorance — Hereditary Influence— Marriage Means Parentage — Lawful Pride in Fine Offspring.

X yO emotion in the human breast is more powerful than that of ^y love. None is more productive of happiness when rightly controlled and directed. When allowed to run wild and override all reason and restraint, none is so fruitful of misery. Love is the law of heaven and earth. It makes xife a blessing or a curse. Milton in one of his loftiest poetic flights exclaims :

Hail wedded love, mysterious law, true source Of human offspring.

Mohammed acted with unusual sagacity, displayed no ordinary understanding of human nature, and adopted effectual means for the accomplishment of his cherished object, when, to secure converts to his new religion, he promised that the eternal abode of the faithful should be made joyful, and lighted up with the charms and smiles of Woman ! This was an appeal to one of the strongest passions of our nature, and proved effectual in securing the attention of the stronger sex; and, in that age, this object achieved, secured the influence and commendation of the gentler and more refined half of our race.

From the earliest time, and among all nations, whether shrouded in Pagan darkness or enjoying the pure and elevating influence of Christianity ; among those who treat the female sex like slaves and

8 17

18 QUALIFICATIONS FOR MaRRIAGK.

beasts of burden, and those who recognize her as entitled to an equal rank with man, companionship between the sexes has ever been found to be the strongest desire of our race. It is not peculiar to either sex, but is cherished in common by both.

This is an ordinance of Heaven, none can deny. And the origin of the institution of matrimony might convince the skeptic of his error; for the only volume which gives an authentic early history of our race, declares in the outset, that in our creation, the distinction of sex was ordered as a contribution to our enjoyment, and that therefrom should follow perpetual companionship. **And the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone : I will make him an helpmeet for him." And after He had created woman, and given her to Adam to be his wife, Adam acknowledged the precious gift with the profoundest gratitude. He said of her, " This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;" and the sacred volume adds, ''Therefore shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife ; and they twain shall be one JlesJi!*

LfOve and Marriage arc Natural.

Marriage is also sanctioned by the very laws of our being. It is just as natural to love and marry as it is to breathe. The world loves; the world marries. Misery, you say, grows out of married life ; so does the purest, deepest enjoyment. The misery is nothing against marriage itself, but against wrong, hasty, foolish marriages. These every mother, every father, should guard against, yes, and young people themselves.

Wc cannot be too well acquainted with those qualifications ana organizations capable of transmitting the qualities which we most desire in our children. As perfect children are the most valued and beloved, as the laws of reproduction are unchangeable; and as perfection is only in proportion to obedience to these laws, in order to secure our highest wishes, we see the almost imperious necessity of our not only understanding, but complying with these requirements of nature.

If we were as honest and careful in choosing companions for Hfe as we are in business transactions, we should not then run the risks we now do ; and the majority of those who marry would be comparatively happy; because each would be better suited, much more satisfied — would know better what to expect of the object of tbeir choice ; since they would have a better understanding of each other, and would be less liable to discord.

Causes of Unhappy Marriages.

Married as many are, at the present day, and have been in years past, they are more liable to commit crime than they would be if single, and their children grow up to curse them for their existence ; when, if they had been properly married, they would have made the best of companions and parents. The evils consequent upon these unphilosophical and unscientifical marriages, result in much of the social and domestic disarrangements, quarrels, separations, and divorces of such frequent occurrence in society ; but, guided by judgment and science, there is but little room for disappointment or dissatisfaction. Among qualifications that might be mentioned, a few only will be noticed.

A Well-Developed Mind and Body.

To those who would be true companions and parents, a sound mind and body are indispensable. Nothing is done as it should be without them ; as in after life the first movements will be regretted, while they will necessarily be destined to a course of life, which to them is a source of continual annoyance, if not dissatisfaction. The above qualifications are necessary because a full, complete, and healthy action of all the functions of the body and mind, is necessary in order to discharge the duties which almost inevitably fall upon married persons.

The natural duties of man are never in advance of his natural qualifications ; and those who hurry, force, or try to outdo nature, do so, much to their disadvantage. Nature's time and ways are the best ; and those who are premature in their plans in the commencement of life, are very apt to find a premature decay of those powers they then call into action. It is almost an every day occurrence that persons, particularly females, hurry into married life before they are fully developed, either mentally or physically, and before they have either judgment, reason, or experience.

No precise rule can be given when every person ought to marry, only that none should think of so doing, until they have arrived at maturity. Both the mental and physical powers of some are developed many years before those of others ; yet, as a general rule, woman is as well qualified in development at twenty as man at twenty-five ; but that age is rather early for the majority.

The Educated "Woman.

Woman, after marriage, as a general thing, enter soon upon the duties of a parent ; and, as society now is, has very limited opportunities for mental culture ; and, as education is absolutely necessary in order to train and educate children properly, she should, before marriage, store her mind with useful information.

A young man who marries before he has come to years of discretion, is Hke a mariner who pushes out to sea without a compass, or even a knowledge of it. He takes upon himself the cares and responsibilities of a family, without even thinking what they are, and mud less without making preparations beforehand to meet them.

But persons should not only be old enough for a full development of their mental and physical powers, with an education adequate to their maturity, and a full knowledge of, and preparation for, all the duties devolving upon them in these near relations, but they should bear in mind that, in proportion as they are naturally deficient in any of the mental or physical elements, just in that proportion are they disqualified to discharge all the duties of married life.