The struggles (social, financial and political) of Petroleum V. Nasby [pseud.] ... : Embracing his trials and troubles, ups and downs, rejoicings and wailings ; likewise his views of men and things. Together with the lectures "Cussed be Canaan, " "The struggles of a conservative with the woman question, " and "In search of the man of sin."

Front matter

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The Institute of Museum and Library Services through an Indiana State Library LSTA Grant wu

Introduction

oXKc

The Nasby Letters are now collected in a beautiful volume, and the publishers have invited me to write an Introduction. It can be only a word.

Beyond the interest in these letters as another instance of a peculiar literature, — illustrated by Major Jack Downing, Sam Slick, and the genius of Hosea Biglow, — they have an historic character from the part they performed in the war with slavery, and in advancing reconstruction. Appearing with a certain regularity and enjoying an extensive circulation, they became a constant and welcome ally. Unquestionably they were among the influences and agencies by which disloyalty in all its forms was exposed, and* public opinion assured on the right side. It is impossible to measure their value. Against the devices of slavery and its supporters, each letter was like a speech, or one of those songs which stir the

14 INTRODUCTION.

people. Therefore they belong to the political history of this critical period.

Of publications during the war, none had such charm for Abraham Lincoln. He read every letter as it appeared, and kept them all within reach for refreshment. This strong liking illustrates his character, and will always awaken an interest in the letters. An incident in my own relations with him shows how easily he turned from care to humor.

I had occasion to see President Lincoln very late in the evening of March 17th, 1865. The interview was in the familiar room known as his office, and also used for cabinet meetings. I did not take leave of him until some time after midnight, and then the business was not entirely finished. As I rose, he said, " Come to me when I open shop in the morning ; I will have the order written, and you shall see it." "When do you open shop?" said I. "At nine o'clock," he replied. At the hour named 'I was in the same room that I had so recently left. Very soon the President entered, stepping quickly with the promised order in his hands, which he at once read to me. It was to disapprove and annul the judgment and sentence of a court-

INTRODUCTION. 15

martial in a case that had excited much feeling. While I was making an abstract of the order for communication by telegraph to the anxious parties, he broke into quotation from Nasby. Finding me less at home than himself with his favorite humorist, he said pleasantly, "I must initiate you," and then repeated with enthusiasm the message he had sent to the author : " For the genius to write these things I would gladly give up my office."

Rising from his seat, he opened a desk behind, and, taking from it a pamphlet collection of the letters already published, proceeded to read -from it with infinite zest, while his melancholy features grew bright. It was a delight to see him surrender so completely to the fascination. Finding that I glistened, he read for more than twenty minutes, and was still proceeding, when it occurred to me that there must be many at the door waiting to see him on graver matters. Taking advantage of a pause, I rose, and, thanking him for the lesson of the morning, went away. Some thirty persons, including senators and representatives, were in the ante-chamber as I passed out.

Though with the President much during the intervening time before his death, this was the last business

16 INTRODUCTION.

I transacted with him. A few days later he left

Washington for City Point, on the James River, where

he was at the surrender of Richmond. April 6th I

joined him there. April 9th the party returned to

Washington. On the evening of April 14 th the bullet

of an assassin took his life.

In this simple story Abraham Lincoln introduces

Nasby.

Charles Sumner.

Washington, April 1st, 1872.

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.

STEEL PORTRAIT OF THE AUTHOR Frontispiece.

PRESENTATION PAGE Page 1

NASBY BEING PHOTOGRAPHED : A STRIKING PICTURE 33

CHURCH OF ST. VALLANDIGUM, P. V. NASBY, PASTOR, AND HIS FLOCK. 71

NASBY COMMUNING WITH THE SPIRIT OF ANDREW JACKSON. ... 102

HOW NASBY WOULD HAVE DIED IN THE LAST DITCH 170

THE "NIGGER" AS HE SHOULD BE — AS HE IS 192

DO YOU KNOW CHARLES SUMNER ? 226

DEPLORABLE EFFECT OF THE EMANCIPATION PROCLAMATION. . . 231

NASBY'S DREAM OF RETRIBUTION 240

NASBY'S DREAM OF THE RECEPTION OF THE PATRIOTS 299

PROCESSION AT CONFEDRIT X ROADS 302

NASBY'S DREAM OF PERFECT BLISS 305

THE EXTEMPORANEOUS SPEAKERS 333

NASBY EXCITED OVER THE NEWS 338

THE ROUGH AND TUMBLE AT THE PATERNAL TOMB 370

NASBY IN THE CABINET 391

"I THUS EMBRACE." 410

JOLLIFICATION AT THE WHITE HOUSE— THE THREE GRACES 414

"THREE CHEERS FOR JEFFERSON GREELEY." 438

NIGGERS RECOGNIZING THEIR " MOSES." 443

PARADE OF THE VIRGINS 476

" SUFFER LITTLE WHITE CHILDREN TO COME UNTO ME." 481

NASBY DREAMS HE IS A GENUINE NEW YORK ARISTOCRAT 552

THE GUILLOTINE HAS FALLEN ON POSTMASTER NASBY 590

2 17

. CONTENTS.

LETTERS.

I. An Autobiographical Sketch.

Photo°raph of the Author. — Cost of Photograph. — Birthplace of the Author.

Precocious Boyhood. — Origin of his Political Principles. — Education. —

Enterprise. — Misfortune. — Cruel Judge. — Objects of his Life. — Model Father.

— Benevolent Neighbors. — Versatility of Genius. — Becomes a Useful Member of Society. — Striving for a Fortune. — Matrimonial Disaster. — Renewed Devotion to his Life-work. — Becomes a Politician and Office-holder. — Is happy. . 33

II. The Secession of Wingert's Corners.

Meeting of Citizens.— Nasby Chairman. — Address to the World adopted.— Grievances. — Overburdened with Taxes, and without Share in the Offices. — Independence declared. — Military Preparations. — The People resolute 39

III. Negro Emigration.

Negro Population. — Dangers of the State. — An Alarm. — Resolutions. — Stirring Appeal to Patriotism 41

IV. Proposes to Celebrate the Fourth of July.

Order of Procession. — Exercises of the Day and Evening 43

V. Annihilates an Oberlinite.

The Cause of the War. — Perversity and Obstinacy of Oberlin. — The American Eagle. — Effect of 0 berlin Ideas 44

VI. Makes a Candidate "xtv Hisself."

Reasons. — Claims. — Capacity. — Principles. — More Resolutions. — States his Position, which is Comprehensive. — Isn't particular what Office he has 47

VII. ShoAvs why he should not be Drafted.

Studies Himself. — Is Bald-headed. — Dandruff. — Catarrh.'— Blind. — Bad Teeth.

— Diarrhoea. — Costiveness. — Ruptured. — Varicose Veins. — Corns. — And is afflicted with Political Opinions 50

VIII. In Canada.

Congratulations. — Unskilful Physicians. — Terrors of Night Travelling. — A Voyage in an Open Boat. — The Hegira of the Invalids. — Cautious Canadian Landlord. — Unpleasant Bedfellow. — Applies to his Wife for Money 51

IX. Is finally Drafted.

Homeward Bound. — Happy Anticipations. — Disappointment. — His Nose betrays Him. — Seeks Safety by Volunteering. — A Ray of Light. — Condensed Ecstasy. — Patriotic Enthusiasm. — Affecting Message to Louisa Jane 53

X. Deserts — His Experience in Clothes.

Escapes by a Fortunate Mistake. — Falls into the Hands of the Louisiana Pelicans.— Their Uniform. — Changes his Uniform. — Provides his own Rations... 55

XI. Captures a Turkey.

Discomforts of Military Life. — Liffht Food and Clothing and Irregular Pay. — Great Abundance of Money. — The Turkey. — Is confiscated. — Feast 57

XII. Improves his Fortunes by Marriage.

Misery. — An Extravagant Wife. — No Credit. — Marries a Widow. — Result of the Speculation. — A Practical Joke. — Change of Views on Slavery Question. . 59

XIII. Converses with a Southern Soldier.

A Great Rascal spoiled by Lack of Brains. — Family Misfortunes of a Southerner.

— The Utopia of Mechanics. — Nasby as a Watchmaker. — Prospective Success

of the Confederacy 60

XIV. At Home.

Suffering for Principle. — Human Endurance limited. — Justification of Desertion. — How Deserters fare at Home. — Hospitality of his Friends. — They take up a Collection. — A Mistake. — The Difference explained. — Nasby retains the Money 62

XV. Assists Draft Resisters.

Drills the Heroes of Hoskinville. — Extraordinary Military Expertness. — A Stratagem. — Arrested and imprisoned 63

XVI. Strategises.

The Hobby of Democracy. — Disguises Himself. — Negro Invasion — Perfect Success. — Deception justifiable 65

XVII. Addresses the Soldiers.

Managers of the Democracy meet. — Alarming Stupidity. — Some Political Facts.

— Inroad of the Negroes. — An Appeal for Peace 67

XVIII. Organizes a Democratic Church.

Dangerous Influence of Churches. — Nasby's Gigantic Intellect contrives a Harmless Church. — Order of Exercises. — The Sunday School on a Pure Basis. — Catechism. — Rewards to stimulate the Infant Mind. —A Festival. — Prospective Good. — Touching Scene. — Virtue rewarded 69

XIX. Goes on with his Church.

An Intelligent Audience. — The Sermon. — Tyranny denounced. — Democratic Class-meeting. — Confessions. — Fines to be devoted to Missionary Service. — A Rich Field 71

XX. "Capcherd."

Joins the Peace Forces at Millersberg. — Is made Commander-in-chief. — The Enemy appear. — Taken and imprisoned at Columbus. — An Epistle to the Church. — Begs to be shown some Little Attention 73

XXI. Starts a Paper. .

Insulting Remark. —The "Marter and Tyrent Resister." — Principal Contributors : Petroleum V. Nasby, P. V. Nasby, P. Volcano Nasby, and Mr. Nasby.— Appeal to the Democracy for Support. — Enthusiastic Reception by his Church.

— An Assault. — A Rescue 74

XXII. Preaches, and makes a Sudden Shift.

The Draft Inevitable. — Precautionary Measures. — Two Sets of Resolutions.— Immigration Encouraged. — The Sagacious Nasby 76

XXIII. Observes a Day of Fasting.

Instructions to his Flock. — The Text. — The Silver Lining. — Conundrums in the Pulpit. — Exhortation. — Census of the Church. —The Church safe 78

XXIV. Confession of Faith.

A Glorious Season. — Eighteen added to the Church. — The Confession of Faith.

— Preparations for a Revival 80

XXV. Visits Vallandigham.

The Prisoner. — A Scene. — His Motto "Nil despritrando." — The Two Great Men of the Age. — Plans for the Salvation of Ohio. — A Large Nest and a Small Hen. 81

XXVI Converses with a Brother.

The Wanderer returns. — Affectionate Reception. — Still holds to Democracy. — : Not up to the Times. — He repudiates his Party. — Denounces the Degeneracy of the Times, and departs with the Blessmgs of Petroleum V 83

XXVII. Preaches — Subject, "Givin'."

What is giving? — When should we give? — Democracy always Scriptural. — Why we should give. — The Consequences of not giving. — A Great Lesson.... 86

XXVIII. Visits Camp Dennison to Electioneer for Vallandigham.

Approaches a Party. — Sows his Seed. — Stony Ground. — Disagreeable Result. — Outrages. — Suddqn Retreat. — Escape. — Sick. 88

XXIX. Waileth.

Resolves to become a "Nunnery." — Martial Law. — The Election Returns. — Swoons. — Despondency. — An Attempt at Suicide. — Foiled. — Prostration. — Takes to Strong Drink 90

XXX. In the "Apossel Biznis."

A Democratic Propagandist. — Extracts from his Journal. — Pilgrimage. — Borrows of the Faithful. — A Good Hair-dye. — Concessions Necessary to Compromise. — Borrows Money, and gives his Note. — Benevolence a Characteristic. — Borrows more Money, which he expects to pay 92

XXXI. Has an Interview Avith the President.

A Modest Request on Behalf of Ohio Democracy. — Lincoln, struck with his Modesty, promises to consider the Matter. — Encourages Nasby, who, without Ambition, would accept a Post Office. — Dismisses himself impressively, and walks off. 93

XXXII. Preaches.

The Text. — Why the Democracy needs saving. — A Broad Platform. — The Panacea for Democratic Woes. — Abolitionists must be induced to Enlist. — And Canadian Refugees to Return.- — A Big Job 96

XXXIII. Submits a Plan for the Salvation of the Democratic Party.

A Radical Change. — An Anecdote. — Resolves to Conciliate the Blacks 98

XXXIV. Takes a Retrospective View.

The Good Old Times. — Disintegration of the Party. — Abolition creeps in. — An Army of Ghosts 99

XXXV. Communes with Spirits.

Nasby's Faith in Spiritualism. — A Happy Belief. — The Circle. — The Spirits of the Fathers. — Unsatisfactory Answers. — All the Spirits Impostors. — The Last Words of Douglas. — The Collection n/iys for the Use of the Church 101

XXXVI. Tries an Experiment.

Perversity of the Human Race. — A Beautiful Provision of Nature. — The Strong take the Weak under their Protection. — White Slavery Established in the North. — A Strong-minded Woman. — The Result. — Disestablishes the System. 104

XXXVII. Establishes African Slavery.

Tries an Experiment with Negro Slavery. — Proves the Principle by the Scriptures.— A Popular Scheme. — The Discussion. — Heretics in the Church. — This System also fails. — Jordan a Hard Road 106

XXXVIII. Opposes the Nomination of a Military Man.

Nasby a Man of Talent. — His Faith in Democracy. — McClellan's Want of Ability. — Constitutional Rights Illustrated. — Grant too Bloody. — Party Gymnastics. — The Style of Man Needed. — A Happy Thought 108

XXXIX. Tries to Awaken an Interest.

Gloomy Forebodings .— An Effort at Strategy. — Disappointment. — Terrible Falling off. — Drifting. — His Congregation Lukewarm 110

XL. Recommends Unanimity.

£.n Incident. — Borrowing a Family Trait. — A Parable. — Discouraging Work. — Moral 112

XLI. Again repudiates McCIellan, and gives Reasons therefor.

No Elements of Success. — If elected, would be of no Use. — The Parable of the Circus Rider ; 114

XLII. Ordains a Missionary.

A Promising Candidate. — The Charge after Ordination. — The Ship " Democracy " headed for the Rocks of Destruction. — Rules for a Democratic Missionary. ... 116

XLIII. Gives Thanks.

A Psalm of Praise. — Proviso 118

XLIV. Waileth.

A Wail. — Distraction. — A Terrible Bereavement 120

XLV. Fremont's Nomination.

The Right Man in the Right Place. — Encouraging Prospects 122

XLVI. The Return of Vallandigham. *

Great Rejoicing. — Somewhat Mixed. — The Exile's Duty to his Party. — A Troublesome Friend. — The Author's Affection surpassed by his Patriotism.. . . 123

XLVII. Defines his Position, and appeals for Aid.

Obstacles to Democratic Success. — The Corner Stone. — Superstitions of the Churches. — The Principle of Property in the Negro derived from Blackstone.

— A Weak Point in Every Democratic Principle. — Laborers Plenty, but Harvest Scant. — Contributions can safely be sent to any Regular Officer 125

XLVIII. Declares for Repudiation, and Union with the South.

Certain Success of the Southern Confederacy. — Reconciliation of Democracy with New England Impossible. — Confederacy will not undertake to pay our Debt. — Repudiation a Dirty Trick. — Democracy must do it 127

XLIX. Shows that a War Platform won't do for the Democracy.

Contemplates retiring from Public Life. — Prospective Destruction of Democracy Immediate. — Success Equally Dangerous with Defeat. — Clear Elucidation of the Proposition. — Success not Desirable, and why 130

L. Has a Class-meeting, and Deprecates Negro-killing.

The Speech of the Saints. — Brother Siples is Weak, but has his Faith Strengthened.— Another Weak One Strengthened. — Misdirected Enthusiasm. — A Little Computation. — Vile Slanders refuted. — An Honest Man. — Southern Ardor Dampened. — A Touching Picture. — Nasby 's Flock still Strong 131

LI. Starts a Society of His Own.

An Order adapted to the Party.— The Ritual. — A Series of Interesting Queries.

— Position of the Society strong. — Appeals to the Natural Instincts of its Members < 132

LII. Indorses the Nomination.

Always does from Principle. — Biographical Sketch of a Candidate. — The Father of the Man. — His Railroad Experience. — His Military Career Well Known. — Nasby accepts the Platform, and takes up a Collection 134

Mil. The Candidates and Platform.

The Enthusiasm for McClellan. — Diversity of Opinion. — The Idea of Brother Guttle. — Is a little Particular. — Consolatory Remarks of the Pastor. — An ' Accommodating Platform. — Guttle Squelched 137

LIV. Waileth.

Psalm of Humiliation and Agony. — A Double-barrelled Wail. — A Cry of Anguish. — A Heart-rending Wail. — Job, Naaman, and Samson discounted. — The Ox and the Ass. — Curses the Day of his Birth 139

LV. Lamenteth.

Reaches a Conclusion. — A Reason of Mourning. — Psalm. — Nowhere to turn.

— A Prayer for Victory 141

tVI. Has a Dream.

Dreams are Unsubstantial. — Likewise Ghosts. — An Exploration of the Future.

— An Interesting Examination. — A Prince in Disguise. — A Case of Slander.

— Reflections on Posterity 143