Souvenirs of my time

Front matter

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The Institute of Museum and Library Services through an Indiana State Library LSTA Grant

IRS. JESSIE BENTON FREMONT.

Chapter I. The Bodisco Wedding

FOREIGNERS were very "foreign" before steam made ocean travel swift and common, and the foreigners of the Diplomatic Corps at that date were necessarily a more characteristic body than now, when the ceaseless interchange of modern life has modified and levelled differences of all kinds.

Then too, those same obstacles of travel made it necessary to have men here who could settle a question before it should take bad proportions ; now it is but a day's work to have questions answered by home governments. Sidney Smith said no feud could withstand social intercourse — no 7 feud can grow with the rapid intercourse kept up by the ocean telegraph.

But with the disadvantages of those days disappear also much that was large — pompous perhaps — but with its own stamp of importance and originality.

Russia has invariably been friendly to us. Far back, when we were just entering the society of nations, it was an ordeal to go as Minister representing not only a new and unknown Power, but one in the dreaded form of a Republic.

Franklin had the only good post, that to Paris, where the local and growing political feeling made a welcoming party for him.

Quite the most trying was that to England, and this had been given to Mr. Monroe. A story of his early troubles comes back to me as I write of Russian ministers.

At the first state dinner to which he was asked Mr. Monroe found himself seated at the foot of the table between two representatives from German principalities.

" James Monroe doesn't care where he eats his dinner," he said, " but to find the American Minister put at the bottom of the table between two little principalities, no bigger than my farm in Albermarle, made me mad." So angry, that when the first toast " The King " was given, and all rose to drink it, Mr. Monroe in re-seating himself put his wine-glass down into the finger-glass — splashing the water.

This made his German neighbors exchange sarcastic smiles, and he was rapidly getting too angry when the Russian Minister who was at the right hand of the presiding Minister of State, rose and offered his toast : —

" A health and welcome to our latest-comer, the President of the United States, General Washington."

" Then I saw clear again," said Mr. Monroe. " And when my country and Washington had been honored I rose, and thanked the Russian Minister and offered as mine —

" The health and prosperity of our friend, the Emperor of Russia."

Whether the practised diplomat had seen the

IO SOUVENIRS OF MY TIME.

splash in the finger-glass and the sneers of the German ministers, or whether it was part diplomacy and part courtesy, the effect was, at once, to secure proper consideration for the Minister from America. Points of social observance are founded on meaning, and this timely graciousness notified " ail concerned " that the United States of America had an existence which could not be ignored. We are too powerful now for such remembrances to have other effect than that of keeping our memory green as to who were friends when friends were needed. The Russian minister of my young days was known to every one, and always made a sort of royal progress of his daily drive to the Capitol from his residence in Georgetown. His horses were not fine perhaps, but there were always four of them to the snowy barouche in which he sat, bareheaded half the time from the incessant returning of bows. He was a popular man with all classes, for he was intelligent — really amiable and preferring to give pleasure — and he was said to be rich and was certainly "showy"; awfully so we would think to-day, when no man could go about his daily

THE BODISCO WEDDING. It

business with that glitter of varnish and brasses and those four prancing long-tailed black horses without a cry of " circus " following him. But only a few smiled over it then.

He had found in Georgetown a house large enough to suit him and made it as showy as his other belongings, and his numerous entertainments were the pleasure and talk of the time.

At Christmas he gave one for children. His two very young nephews being the pretext for a fete none of us had ever seen the like of.

It was a snowy night, and as there was no gas then, the approach up the hill was marked out by beacon lights flaring in the stormy wind. All the house was illuminated, and an empty square in front had great fires burning, for the coachmen to go to, as in St. Petersburg ; and a strong temporary room of wood and glass, brightly lit and carpeted, had been built out to cover sidewalk and entrance and atone for our wretched out-door system of entrances.

Once within, fairyland began. The flowers and lights and pretty refreshments we knew, but this great double house, opened to the third floor, with everywhere everything children little and big could fancy ! — this we did not know.

The galleries had been permanently enclosed, curtained, mirrored, carpeted and pictured. Now in two of them were wonderful red and gold swings. Tables were covered with toys, games, picture books and stacks of little satin bags with " Bon-Bons " in gilt letters. And these were for us to take home.

Dolls too !

And in the dressing-room whole boxes of little white kid gloves and pretty fans and bolts and bolts of all colors of light ribbons, and such picturesquely dressed maids to repair any damages to our hair or dresses. We danced too — but that we did not care for — dancing was only lessons; but this world of toys and sweets and pleasant faces was the real joy.

Fancy the stir when it was known that this dazzling personage was to marry the very young daughter of very quiet people in Georgetown.

In our small world of the school at which I was for two years in Georgetown this young girl had also made a commotion.

The principal, Miss English, a most cultivated lady of Danish family, had a staff of twenty-five teachers — each unusually well qualified for her department ; and she had much pride in the attainments of her scholars, who were daughters of important Southern families, of members of the Government and Senators and members of Congress and army and navy families. Many a woman who has since had part in large events owes much to this dignified upper-class school and the ladies who so fitly presided over it.

On the heights of Georgetown were still the fine gardens and homes of old families who were very nice to us — the boarders — and gave us strawberry parties and rose parties and had pleasure in treating us on our future footing of society equals. Eleonora Calvert — Georgia Washington — Mildred Fitzhugh — many Southern names of our history, past, and now, were on the roll of an average of a hundred boarders and as many day-scholars, and " family " and " fine manners " as well as study were important.

I am afraid I did not study much. Mere bookinstruction was flat and unprofitable to me after my delightful home-teaching. A congenial spii it used to join me in escaping recitations by taking refuge in the leafy top of a mulberry-tree where she told pranks of her midshipmen brothers to me who had never seen the sea then, nor a ship nor a midshipmite. Annie and I contentedly took our " deprivation of recess " for this enjoyment until a cruel teacher broke us up by looking down from an upper window to see what made so much co' "rand sound in the big treetop.

Naturally we were in sympathy with other idlers and one May-time a party of us fell below the high standard of the school and carried the elec 'don of our candidate on new issues. First because she was beautiful. Then she was a good-natured, generous girl who brought us lots of flowers and fruits, and who could play heartily.

Imagine then our feelings when this regular election was calmly set aside " by the p7-incipal and all the teachers." Because of the constant, repeated and unconcerned indifference of cur May Queen to her studies.

It was thought well to make her an example and a warning — also, I suppose, to encourage the good girls, for we were told our May Queen should be a girl, " who had the entire approbation of all the teachers" whereupon Miss English produced the blushing, shrinking, really lovely girl who obeyed that, as she obeyed every other order, to be the May Queen.

Eut we, the commons, rallied on the playground and there in safety let loose our unavailing wrath against our tyrants, and swore loyalty to our Beauty.

She did not care — but took it all with smiling composure. It would make her father so angry, she said, that he would take her from school ( she was a day scholar) and so, for awhile anyway, there would be a holiday for her.

We decided on a mutiny, and organized a headache all-round for May-day ; when our large squad was marched off to the Infirmary and heroically accepted our penalty — the tea-cup full of senna-tea ordered and (worse luck ) enforcediox " headaches." We soothed our disturbed stomachs however by the certainty that our keeping away spoiled the fe'.e..

Judge, then, of the pride — the triumph — we felt, when it was announced that Bodisco the Splendid was to marry our candidate ! That he was far past sixty, and she but sixteen was a mere detail — the main fact was that we were endorsed by a higher authority even than " the principal, and all the teachers." And when to this came the added fact that I was to be one of the bridesmaids, our triumph was complete.

Bodisco possessed the whole science of ceremonials, and the manner of the marriage was of governing importance in his mind. The -bridesmaids must be young, to harmonize with the bride. Also they must be names that were known to the public. Then the groomsman must be suited to his dignity (and age), consequently it was April and December all through.

With this came the vexed question of precedence. The English minister, Henry Fox (of the Holland family), was a man who went nowhere unless compelled by strict etiquette. His only pursuit was cards. Long since his debts had exiled him frcm England, and in Moore's Life of Byron there is a letter from Ravenna in which Byron says " I met yesterday Henry Fox so changed that his oldest creditor could not recognize him." He was now a withered, cynical, silent, gray little old man.

Of equal right to a first place was Mr. Buchanan who had been Minister to Russia, and was at present Senator.

Bodisco consulted my father among others on this troubling question, "as to whether Russia should give England or America the first position ? " which was compromised by the happy thought of making both first ; by placing us in couples and not as usual, the bridesmaids by the bride and the groomsmen by the groom, but Mr. Fox with the sister of the bride would be next the groom, while Mr. Buchanan and myself were to be next the bride.

It was while he was talking of this to my father that for the first time the personality of the bridegroom came clearly to me. Unlimited holiday, cake, fine gowns, a general delightful upsetting of all use and wont of school life had been my only impression. Now, contrasted by my father's superb physique — his clean, fair, noble presence, his steady blue eye and firm mouth — the curious ugliness of Bodisco came out painfully.

He was a short and stout man with a broad Calmuck-face, much wrinkled, and furred across by shaggy whiskers which joined into the mustache over a wide mouth with rather projecting teeth ; a shining brown wig curled low over shaggy eyebrows and restless little eyes, while his manner was at variance with all my ideas of dignity.

Suddenly I had an instinct into another aspect of this gay marriage.

But it was too busy a time for thinking. The dressmaker, the drill in the management of my first long skirt, the being drilled to the programme of this performance (which we had in written parts and studied as for a play), the getting used to keep awake after nine o'clock, etc., etc., etc., filled all the time. Of course I had been brought home from school and had a thoroughly good time — every minute of it.

Bodisco had planned our toilet as well as every other detail of the performances. The dresses were to be very long ; of while " figured " satin, with blonde lace about the neck and sleeves ; a high full wreath of soft white roses, a fan of ivory and white feathers, and a great bouquet of white camelias : the most elegant of bouquets then before the poor flowers were lowered by a French pen to one meaning only.

The imposing " Mrs. Abbott, Milliner and Mantua-maker, from London," herself built my gown.

When the great day came I seem to have been all morning in the hands of one and another and paraded up and down, delighted with my finery as well I might be, for it was a rich and stately dress ; although the skirt was plaited on full all round from the tip of a long point in front to another long point behind, the stuff cut away to let the long slim waist come well down into the soft fullness below, and although we had sleeves, and to the sleeves a frill of lace falling over the elbows, and a " tucker " of lace from the top of the decently-cut low body, and the wreath was not bad either in its effects.

It was a lovely day in early spring, fortunately, for though it was a wide and roomy house the company overflowed into hall and piazzas and the grounds, while out in the road (it was on the heights of Georgetown) the crowd of carriages was swarmed around about by a throng of outsiders. It was like a gay country fair with its cheery moving crowd.

The President, Mr. Van Buren, was there. All the officials, of all kinds. All the Diplomatic Corps, in full dress — army and navy officers in full uniform and a crowd of ladies in full morning dress.

What a dazzle for this quiet family of a clerk whose small salary and many children had kept him from any contact with this phase of life. The bride was of course entirely unknown to the Washington world, and from her youth, hardly outside of her family. Bodisco put back all offered visits, saying she was too young, it was best to wait until she should have him with her to receive in her own house, and it was understood that she was not to be seen until the morning of the marriage. You can fancy the curiosity of the guests.

We, with the bride, were in an upper room waiting our signal to descend. The bride was in great glee peeping between the blinds and laughing at the crowd outside, and it was : " Girls ! here comes the carriage, see the satin rosettes on the horses ! (the long-tailed prancing blacks) and the big bouquets on the servants, and Bodisco says I must wear this cloak when we drive off. Hot thing ! and oh, here's your flowers (the camelias), and here's a pearl ring apiece from Bodisco, and I am so hungry, but I can't have anything until we get breakfast at his house."

Then the anxious master of ceremonies came up — paper in hand, reading out our names in order and marshalling us down the narrow back-stairway with many charges as to our precious gowns ( we, now all silent and " on duty ") , to the large room where the ceremony was to be performed. Here waited the venerable groomsmen and also Henry Clay who was to give away the bride.

Then Bodisco, with his paper still in hand, directed each couple into proper position. The bride and himself to face the folding-doors. To his left Mr. Fox in scarlet and gold court suit — his rough gray eyebrows frowned over his half-shut eyes and his whole look and attitude a protest — while by him was a smiling rosy little blonde of thirteen, sister to the bride.

To the right of the bride was Mr. Buchanan, tall and of fine presence and quite a type of Saxon coloring and freshness despite his silvered head, and with him, myself — aged fourteen.

The Chevalier de Martini, Minister from the Hague — not young — large, placid, easy friends with every one, and in a softly-amused state of smiles, had the eldest of the bridesmaids, a girl of sixteen, the daughter of Commodore Morris.* Her pensive beauty was already touched with the hectic flush of the disease which ended her young life soon after — as it had that of an elder sister in whose memory the " Louise Home " was founded.

Of the eight couples only two were of equal youth ; Smith Van Buren, the President's youngest son, and Kemble Paulding, also under twenty, whose father was Secretary of the Navy, these had been given two pretty cousins of the bride.

She herself rose above them all — fairest and

* Many years after at a dinner in New York, when lie was famous —and old — Admiral Farragut talked to me of tliat wedaing and of the lovely fading girl who was, ha said, the unatlained dream of his young lime.

THE BODISCO WEDDING.

tallest. Her dress was fashioned on that of Russian brides and was of rich white satin with much silver lace — soft and flexible as silk lace, but of most rich and luminous effect. On her yellow hair rested a coronet of red velvet covered with diamonds, and from that fell, over the shoulders, and far down the long train, an exquisite veil of silver lace, light and sparkling as cobwebs on the grass when the first level morning sun lights up the dewdrops on them. Large ear-rings of diamonds trembled against her rose-leaf cheeks and shone on her long white throat — she was

as fair a bride

As e'er the sun shone on,

While he— I

But he was content. When we were arranged quite to his taste, in a horseshoe curve, the glistening white dresses and young faces and flowers thrown into higher relief by the age and court dress of the men, while Bishop Johns in full canonicals, and Mr. Clay tall and dignified, made the contrasting touch, Bodisco gave a last reviewing look, then ordered the doors to be rolled back. Certainly the guests saw a beautiful tableau — whether painful also it was for each one to judge. But of this we had no thought. To go through our parts with ease and dignity, to remain in position during the ceremonious congratulations and only speak in answer, to group around the bride-cake with its ring, and offer it to those coming to its special flower-dressed table, these were our limit. The next act was the retiring in procession, to descend to our carriages. The great wrap of white satin and swansdown had to be worn — = it was part of the programme. And we, each with a little " tippet " the same as our gowns, with a border of swansdown also, passed gravely through the fine company which opened a way for us, bowing in silence in return to salutations, and each couple entered their carriage ; when the procession moved slowly through the crowd down the hill to Mr. Bodisco's house, where, at last, we were allowed to be natural. For Bodisco was a most kind, amiable man and the bald old house-steward Dona understood young people.

We were in " tor a full due " — a whole day of it. The wedding breakfast was only a part. A great dinner of forty persons was to follow our matinee. We bridesmaids were not let to go home ; it was not safe to disband the young troupe until the evening performance was over.

Our venerable escorts retired after the breakfast, while we were given the range of one floor to ourselves with all manner of picture books and games laid out, but the excitement, the heavy dress and the wrong hours we had been keeping made of us a sorry little company. A kind aunt of the bride knew what was best for us and soon, with our wreaths laid away and loose, short gowns over our finery, we were carefully disposed upon sofas, and slept over into freshened color and spirits.

A great feast was not new to me, but this was my first unaided appearance as a chief actor, and in place of my proper muslin and sash I was in grown-up finery and one does act up to their dress. I never, in any country, have seen such really elegant as well as thoroughly splendid dinners as those given to my father in New Orleans by his friends and clients among the wealthy planters. In their vexatious business visits to Washington we were often their "little interpreters," and when back at home they insisted on including us in their hospitalities. Just lately, too, Mr. Van Buren had given a dinner to his son, Smith, but this was a very young people's dinner, and to me the President's house was old familiar ground.

There had been so much said of this marriage that it seemed as though all must be different. But except the queerly disproportioned ages of part of the company, it was like other great dinners. Longer then than would be endured now — and with great stateliness. Sitting facing the bride and bridegroom I was directly under our manager's eye and acquitted myself so much to his liking that he asked I might come frequently to spend a Saturday with the bride.

This was not to be, however — the tremendous sick-headache following all this upsetting of a simple life made the decision that I was to be returned to that way of living after one more dinner, that given by the President. Here again Bodisco prepared his tableau. He gave us our directions in the dressing-room, and our little procession crossed that windy hall into the drawing-room. Mr. Van Buren had it, later, somewhat protected by the glass screens that now extend across, but many a cold was taken there after wraps were laid aside.

We were grouped either side of the bride, our bright white dresses serving as margin and setting to the central figure. This night her dress was of pale green velvet, its long train having a border of embroidery in gold thread not brighter than her yellow hair, and pearls and emeralds were her ornaments.

Mr. Van Buren had great tact and knew how to make each one show to advantage. He was also very witty, though he controlled this, knowing its danger to a man in public life. But it was all there.

He had been Minister to England and the silver gilt dessert service he got there he had brought to the White House. In the speeches made against him at the election in which he was defeated by General Harrison, his opponents always made a contrast between the " log-cabin life of the old soldier " and the " effeminate " life of Mr. Van Buren. The most telling of these speakers was a Mr. Ogle, who made a great point of the " gold spoons." He had been one of Mr. Van Buren's most frequent guests. Mr. Van Buren was asked if Ogle was right about those " gold spoons." " He ought to know," was his answer, "he has often had them in his mouth."

With such a host, in such a house, the dinner and the invited reception that followed had to be beautiful and a success. That old mirror-plateau has never reflected such an odd company -*- and it has seen much.

" Little pitchers have large ears." We had heard, and made afterwards our own comments on, a speech made by a lady near us during the cake-cutting.

" Now this is a good match. The first since Mrs. Calvert drove away from St. John's Church in her carriage and four — the Washington girls have been marrying poor army and navy officers and turning into dowdies instead of keeping their place in the world and having a handsome house to receive their friends in."

Some of those " poor army and navy men " have since been of such large use to their country that the girls who decided for "Jock o' Hazledean" rather think they got all.

But this marriage of Bodisco's was a happy one to him and evidently of contentment to her. Much of the frothiness of his ways was dropped and he came into a new condition of esteem as his good domestic side proved itself. An occasional visit to Russia, where she was very well received, their children, the usual life of society in which she took her part amiably and well, carried them over the next ten or twelve years, when he died.

From the date of his marriage he had made all her family his. Giving sound training to the young ones, providing for all, and in every way gaining for himself the respect of many who had thought it a risky marriage. In his will, he hoped she would marry again and be as happy as she had made him.

She married an English officer and has lived chiefly in India, and I am told preserves much of her unusual beauty notwithstanding great stoutness.

Bodisco always kept a very kind feeling for me and was greatly pleased with every success that came to me — most, when I was "restored to Washington Society " by being in the Senate. Official position had come to mean a great deal to him — it was in his mind the " guinea's stamp."

Many of us who had made part of the marriage were again gathered in the large hospitable house for the funeral cf its head.

Through misplaced family feeling their clergyman had been asked to make " an address " which proved narrow and one-sided, though well-meaning.

He deplored the "errors" of the creed in which the departed had been trained, but "trusted his closing years had surrounded him with such improving influences that we might yet hope," etc.

Near me was standing that clever, practised writer and man of tact and society usage, Mr. Seaton. We exchanged looks as this almost unkind talk rolled on and on.

But when the clergyman repeated : " And if our departed brother's spirit could look down on us now he would sav " —

Mr. Seaton whispered — " He would say, ' What a bad-manage-ceremonyj "

What might have been said was what we all knew and felt, that there was a man who had filled the law of kindness to his family, and who had made himself the careful and wise head of the whole family of his young wife — whose life of ceremonies and show had not changed the real goodness of a nature, which in this later light won many friends for him. And many who bad had their jest at the marriage had now only a sincere prayer for the good old Russian minister.

Chapter II. A Virginia Wedding

THE rejoicings of the triumphant part}- were yet in the air when their plans were overthrown by the death of the President, General Harrison. His inauguration was followed, in just one month, by his funeral. He was the first who had died whilst President, and the state funeral was one of much solemnity. And the leaders of the Whig party were real mourners, for after twelve years' exclusion from power, suddenly, in the first moments of restored power, they found themselves thrown into, at best, uncertainties. It was hard on such men as Clay and Webster, to whom added years would take away much of energy, even of interest in public life. " It is only four years to wait," might be to them as Mrs. Livingston of Louisiana had answered my mother once : " At my age four 34 years is too long to wait for vahn-jarce or joosteece."

But it was no day of mourning for some of us younger ones. Our grandmother had been with us all winter — intensely interested in the inner workings of national government. For her the war for independence and the War of 1812 were near personal memories ; and her simple sincere patriotism, and interest in all measures belonging with "the welfare of my country," made the whole winter delightful. The inauguration had been an occasion of profound interest ; now came this startling reminder of the common lot. When we were offered a house on the Avenue from where she could see comfortably all the procession, my unconscious grandmother accepted with great pleasure ; little guessing she was a marplot and an agent of destiny.