Self Raised/From the Depths: A Novel

Front matter

Mrs E.DEN. SOUTHWORTH

.

Ps £5 aah is ce i

Contents

*7@APTER PAGE I, Recovery, . s = . S “ 1

Ii. HeRMAN AND iene = 5 e q

III. FATHER AND Son, . : - = = ; Sap) EV: 3 Ben... 3 - ; A = A 5 21

Chapter I. = Recovery

Something Iknow. Oft, shall it come about When every heart is full of hope for man, The horizon straight is darkened, and a doubt Clouds all. The work the youth so well began Wastes down, and by some deed of shame is finished. Ah, yet we will not be dismayed: What seemed the triumph of the Fiend at length Might be the effort of some dying devil, Permitted to put forth his fullest strength To loose it all forever !

—Owen Meredith.

Awful as the anguish of his parting with Claudia had been, it! was not likely that Ishmael, with his strength of intellect and will, would long succumb to despair. It was not in Claudia’s power to make his life quite desolate; how could it be so while Bee cared for him?

Bee had loved Ishmael as long as Ishmael had loved Claudia. She had loved him when he was a boy at school; when he was a young country teacher; when he was a law-student; and she loved him now that he was a successful barrister. This love, founded in esteem and honor, had constantly deepened and strengthened. In loving Ishmael, she found mental and spiritual development; and in being near him and doing him good she found comfort and happiness. And being perfectly satisfied with the present, Bee never gave a thought to the future. That she tacitly left, where it belongs, to God.

Or if at times, on perceiving Ishmael’s utter obliviousness of her own kindly presence and his perfect devotion to the thankless Claudia, Bee felt a pang, she went and buried herself with domestic duties, or played with the children in the nursery, or what was better still, if it happened to be little Lu’s “ sleepy time ” she would take her baby-sister up to her own room, sit down and fold her to her breast and rock and sing her to sleep. And certainly the clasp of those baby-arms about her neck, and the nestling of that baby-form to her bosom, drew out all the heart-ache and soothed all the agitation.

Except these little occasional pangs Bee had always been blessed in loving. Her love, all unrequited, as it seemed, was still the sweetest thing in the world to her; and it seemed thus, because in fact it was so well approved by her mind and so entirely unselfish. It seemed to be her life, or her soul, or one with both; Bee was not metaphysical enough to decide which.

She would not struggle with this love, or try to conquer it, any more than she would have striven against and tried to destroy her mental and spiritual life. On the contrary she cherished it as she did her religion, of which it was a part; she cherished it as she did her love of God, with which it was united.

And loving Ishmael in this way, if she should fail to marry him, Bee resolved never to marry another; but to live and die a maiden; still cherishing, still hiding this most precious love in her heart as a miser hides his gold. Whether benign nature would have permitted the motherly little maiden to have carried out this resolution, I do not know; or what Bee would have done in the event of Ishmael’s marrying another, she did not know.

When Claudia went away, Bee, in the midst of her regret at parting with her cousin, felt a certain sense of relief: but when she saw the effect of that departure upon Ishmael she became alarmed for him; and after the terrible experiences of that day and night Bee’s one single thought in life was—Ishmael’s good.

On the morning succeeding that dreadful day and night, Ishmael awoke early, in full possession of his faculties. He remembered all the incidents of that trying day and night; reflected upon their effects; and prayed to God to deliver him from the burden and guilt of inordinate and sinful affections,

. Then he arose, made his toilet, read a portion of the Scriptures, offered up his morning prayers, and went below stairs. 5 In the breakfast parlor he found Bee, the busy little house-

RECOVERY. 3 keeper, fluttering softly around the breakfast table, and adding a few finishing touches to its simple elegance.

Very fair, fresh, and blooming looked Bee in her pale golden ringlets and her pretty morning dress of white muslin with blue ribbons. There was no one else in the room; but Bee advanced and held out her hand to him.

He took her hand, and retaining it in his own for a moment, said:

“Oh, Bee! yesterday, last night!”

“¢Upbraid not the past; it comes not back again.” Ishmael! bury it; forget it; and press onward!” replied Bee sweetly and solemnly.

He raised her hand with the impulse to carry it to his lips; but refraining, bowed his forehead over it instead, and then gently released it. For Ishmael’s affection for Bee was reverential. To him she appeared saintly, Madonna-like, almost angelic.

“Let me make breakfast for you at once, Ishmael. It is not of the least use to wait for the others. Mamma, I know, is not awake yet, and none of the gentlemen have rung for their hot water.”

“ And you, Bee; you will also breakfast now?”

“ Certainly.”

And she rang and gave her orders. And the coffee, muffins, fried fresh perch, and broiled spring chickens speedily made their appearance.

“Jim,” she said to the waiter who set the breakfast on the table, “tell cook to keep some of the perch and pullets dressed to put over the fire the moment she hears the judge’s bell ring, so that his breakfast may be ready for him when he comes down.”

“Very well, miss,” answered Jim, who immediately left the room to give the order; but soon returned to attend upon the table.

So it was a téte-4-téte meal, but Bee made it very pleasant. After breakfast Ishmael left Bee to her domestic duties and went up into the office to look after the letters and papers that had been left for him by the penny postman that morning.

He glanced over the newspapers; read the letters; selected - those he would need during the day; put the others carefully away; tied up his documents; took up his hat and gloves, and | set out for his daily business at the City Hall. oo

In the ante-chamber of the Orphans’ Court Room he met old Wiseman, who clapped him on the shoulder, exclaiming:

“ How are you this morning, old fellow? Ail right, eh?”

“Thank you, I am quite well again,” replied Ishmael.

“ Ah ha! nothing like good brandy to get one up out of a fit of exhaustion.”

“Ah!” exclaimed Ishmael, with a shudder.

“Well, and have you thought over what we were talking of yesterday ?”

“Tt was ” Ishmael began, and then hesitated.

“Tt was about your going into partnership with me.”

“Oh, yes! so it was! but I have not had time to think of it yet.”

“Well, think over it to-day, will you, and then after the court has adjourned come to my chambers and talk the matter over with me. Will you?”

“ Thank you, yes, certainly.”

“ Ah, well! I will not keep you any longer, for I see that you are in a hurry.”

“Tt is because I have an appointment at ten,” said Ishmael courteously.

“Oertainly; and appointments must be kept. Good-morning.”

“ Good-morning, Mr. Wiseman.”

“Mind, you are to come to my chambers after the court has adjourned.”

“T will remember and come,” said Ishmael.

And each went his way.

Ishmael had not yet seriously thought of Lawyer Wiseman’s proposal. This forenoon, however, in the intervals of his professional business, he reflected on it.

The proposed partnership was unquestionably a highly adwwantageous one, in a worldly point of view. Lawyer Wiseman was undoubtedly the best lawyer and commanded the largest practice at the Washington bar, with one single exception— that of the brilliant young barrister whom he proposed to associate with himself. Together, they would be invincible, carrying everything before them; and Ishmael’s fortune would be rapidly made.

‘So far the offer was a very tempting one; yet the more Ishmael reflected on it the more determined he became to refuse it* Wreatise, i in fact, his conscience would not. permit him

RECOVERY. . 5 to enter into partnership with Lawyer Wiseman, for the following reasons: Lawyer Wiseman, a man of unimpeachable integrity in his private life, declined to carry moral responsibility into his professional business. He was indiscriminate in his acceptation of briefs. It mattered not whether the case presented to him was a case of injustice, cruelty, or oppression, so that it was a case for law, with a wealthy client to back it. The only question with Lawyer Wiseman being the amount of the retaining fee. If his client liberally anointed Lawyer Wisemen’s eyes with golden ointment, Lawyer Wiseman would undertake to see and make the judge and jury see anything and everything that his client wished! With such a man as this, therefore, whatever the professional advantages of the association might be, Ishmael could not enter into partnership.

And so when the court had adjourned Ishmael walked over to the chambers of Mr. Wiseman on Louisiana Avenue, and in an interview with the old lawyer courteously declined his offer.

This considerably astonished Mr. Wiseman, who pressed Ishmael for the reasons of his strange refusal.

And Ishmael, being urged, at length candidly confessed them.

Instead of being angry, as might have been expected, the old lawyer was simply amused. He laughed at his young friend’s scruples, and assured him that experience would cure them. And the interview having been brought to a close, they shook hands and parted amicably.

Ishmael hurried home to dine and spend the evening with the family.

On the Monday following, at the order of Judge Merlin, preparations were commenced for shutting up the town house and leaving Washington for Tanglewood; for the judge swore that, let anyone whatever get married, or christened, stay in the city another week he could not, without decomposing, for that his soul had already left his body and preceded him to Tanglewood, whither he must immediately follow it.

Ok, but Bee had plenty of work to look after that week— the packing up of all the children’s clothes, and of all the household effects—such as silver plate, cut-glass, fine china, cutlery, ete., that were to be sent forward to Tanglewood.

She would have had to overlook the packing of the books also, but that Ishmael insisted on relieving her of that task, by doing it all with his own hands, as indeed he preferred to do it,

ea a“ for his love of books was almost—tender. It was curious to see him carefully straighten the leaves and brush the cover and edges of an old book, as conscientiously as he would have doctored a hurt child. They were friends and he was fond of them.

Ishmael continued steadily in the performance of all his duties, yet that he was still suffering very much might be observed in the abiding paleness and wasting thinness of his face, and in a certain languor and weariness in all his movements.

Bee in the midst of her multifarious cares did not forget his interests; she took pains to have his favorite dishes appear on the table in order to tempt him to take food. But, observing that he still ate little or nothing, while he daily lost flesh, she took an opportunity of saying to him in the library:

“Tshmael, you know I am a right good little doctress; I have had so much experience in nursing father and mother and the children; so I know what I am talking about, when I tell you that you need a tonic.”

“Oh, Bee! if you did but really know, little sister! ”

“T do know, Ishmael, I know it all!” she said gently.

“Out of the heart are the issues of life!’ Bee, mine has received a paralyzing blow.”

“T know it, dear Ishmael; I know it; but let your great mind sustain that stricken heart until it recovers the blow. And in the meantime try to get up your strength. You must have more food and more rest, and in order to secure them you must take _a tonic in the morning to give you an appetite, and a sedative at night to give you sleep. That was the way we saved mamma after little Mary died, or, indeed, I think she would have followed her.”

Ishmael smiled a very wan smile as he answered:

“Indeed, I am ashamed of this utter weakness, Bee.”

“Why should you be? Has Providence given you any immunity from the common lot? We must take our human nature as it is given to us and do the best we can with it, I think.”

“ What a wise little woman you are, Bee.”

“That’s because I have got a good memory. The wisdom was second-handed, Ishmael, being just what I heard you yourself say when you were defending Featherstonehaugh *

“(¢ There’s nothing original in m¢ Excepting original sin.’”

HERMAN AND ISHMAEL. T

Ishmael smiled.

“ And, now, will you follow my advice?”

“To the letter, dear Bee, whenever you are so good as to advise me. Ah, Bee, you seem to comprise in yourself all that that I have missed of family affection, and to compensate me for the unknown love of her mother, sister, friend.”

“Do I, Ishmael? Oh, I wish that I really did!” said Bee impulsively; and then she blushed deeply at suddenly apprehending the construction that might be put upon her words.

But Ishmael answered those words in the spirit in which they were uttered:

“ Believe me, dearest Bee, you do. If I never feel the want of home affections it is because I have them all in you. My heart finds rest in you, Bee. But oh, little sister, what can I ever render to you for all the good you have done me from my childhood up?”

“ Render yourself good and wise and great, Ishmael, and I shall be sufficiently happy in watching your upward progress,” said Bee.

And quietly putting down on the table a bunch of grapes that she had brought, she withdrew from the office.

CHAPTER IT.

HERMAN AND ISHMAEL.

With a deep groan he cried—‘ Oh, gifted one, Iam thy father! Hate me not, my son!”

— Anon,

Nor are my mother’s wrongs forgot;

Her slighted love and ruined name,

Her offspring’s heritage of shame,

Shall witness for thee from the dead

How trusty and how tender were

Thy youthful love—paternal care!

—Byron.

Her exit was almost immediately followed by the entrance of Mr. Brudenell. He also had noticed Ishmael’s condition, and attributed it to overwork, and to the want of rest, with change of air. He was preparing to leave Washington for Brudenell

Se

Hall, He was going a few days in adyance of J udge Merlin and the Middletons, and he intended to invite Ishmael to accompany him, or to come after him, and make a visit to Brudenell. He earnestly desired to havé Ishmael there to himself for a week or two. It was with this desire that he now entered the library.

Ishmael arose from his packing, and, smiling a welcome, set a chair for his visitor.

“You are not looking well, Mr. Worth,” said Herman Brudenell, as he took the offered seat.

“T am not well just at present, but I shall be so in a day or two,” returned Ishmael.

“Not if you continue the course you are pursuing now, my young friend. You require rest and change of air. I shall leave Washington for Brudenell Hall on Thursday morning. It would give me great pleasure if you would accompany me thither, and remain my guest for a few weeks, to recruit your health. The place is noted for its salubrity; and though the house has been dismantled, and has remained vacant for some time, yet I hope we will find it fitted up comfortably again; for I have written down to an upholsterer of Baymouth tc send in some furniture, and I have also written to a certain genius of all trades, called the ‘ professor,’ to go over and see it all arranged, and do what else is needed to be done for our reception.”

Ishmael smiled when he heard the name of the professor; but before he could make any comment, Mr. Brudenell inquired:

“What do you say, Mr. Worth? Will you accompany me thither, or will you come after me?”

“J thank you very much, Mr. Brudenell. I should like to visit Brudenell Hall; but fe

“Then you will come? I am very glad! I shall be alone there with my servants, you know, and your society will be a god-send to me. Had you not better go down at once when I do? I go by land, in a hired carriage. The carriage is very comfortable; and we can make the journey in two days, and lay by during the heat of both days. I think the trip will be pleasant. We can reach Brudenell Hall on Friday night, and have a good rest before Sunday, when we can go to the old country church, where you will be likely to meet the faces of - some of your old friends. I think we shall be very comfortable, keeping bachelor-hall together at Brudenell Hall this summer,

HERMAN AND ISHMAEL. 9

Mr. Worth,” said Herman Brudenell, who longed more than tongue gould tell to have Nora’s son at home with him, though it might be only for a short time.

“T feel your kindness very much indeed, Mr. Brudenell; and I should be very, very happy to accept your hospitable invitation; but—I was about to say, it really is quite impossible in the existing state of my business for me to go anywhere at present,” said Ishmael courteously.

“Indeed? I am very sorry for that. But the reasons you give are unanswerable, I know. I am seriously disappointed. Yet I trust, though you may not be able to come just at present, you will follow me down there after a little while—say in the eourse of a few days or weeks—for I shall remain at the hall all summer and shall be always delighted to receive you. Will you promise to come?”

“Tndeed, I fear I cannot promise that either, for I have a very great pressure of business; but if I can possibly manage to go, without infringing upon my duties, I shall be grateful for the privilege and very happy to avail myself of it; for—do you know, sir?—I was born in that neighborhood and passed my childhood and youth there. I love the old place, and almost long to see the old hut where I lived, and the hall where I went to school, and the wooded valley that lies between them, where I gathered wild-flowers and fruits in summer and nuts in winter, and—my mother’s grave,” said the unconscious son, speaking confidentially, and looking straight into his father’s eyes.

“Tshmael,” said Herman Brudenell, in a faltering voice, and forgetting to be formal, “you must come to me: that grave should draw you, if nothing else; it is a pious pilgrimage when a son goes to visit his mother’s grave.”

There was something in this new friend’s words, look, and manner that always drew out the young man’s confidence, and he said, in a voice trembling with emotion:

“She died young, sir; and oh! so sorrowfully! She was only nineteen, two years younger than I am now; and her son was motherless the hour he was born.”

Violent emotion shook the frame of Herman Brudenell. He had not entered the room with any intention of making a disclosure to Ishmael; but he felt now that—come life, come death, come whatever might of it—he must claim Nora’s son.

“Tshmael,” he began, in a voice shaken with agitalien, af knew your mother.” ;

“You, sir!” exclaimed the young man in surprise. =

“Yes, I knew her and her sister; naturally, for they were tenants of mine.”

“T knew that they lived on the outskirts of the Brudenell estate; but I did not know you were personally acquainted with them, sir; for I thought that you had resided generally in Europe.”

“Not all the time; I was at Brudenell Hall when—you were born and your mother went to heaven, Ishmael.”

Some of the elder man’s agitation communicated itself to the younger, who half arose from his seat and looked intently at the speaker.

“T knew your mother in those days, Ishmael. She was not only one of the most beautiful women of her day, but one of the purest, noblest, and best.”

Herman Brudenell hesitated. And Ishmael, who had dropped again into his seat, bent eagerly forward, holding his breath while he listened.

Herman continued.

“You resemble her in person and character, Ishmael. All that is best and noblest and most attractive in you, Ishmael, is derived under Divine Providence from your mother.”

“T know it! Oh, I know it!”

“ And, Ishmael, I loved your mother! ”

“ Oh, Heaven!” breathed the young man, in sickening, deadly apprehension; for well he remembered that this Mr. Herman Brudenell was the husband of the Countess of Hurstmoncetx at the very time of which he now spoke.

“Tshmael, do not look so cruelly distressed. I loved her, she loved me in return, she crowned my days with joy, and 2

A gasping sound of suddenly suspended breath from Ishmael.

“T made her my wife,” continued Herman Brudenell, in a grave and earnest voice.

“Tt was you then!”

a Lhewasch!

Silence like a pall fell between them.

“Oh, Ishmael!.my son! my son! speak to me! give me your

hand!” groaned Herman Brudenell.

“She was your wife! Yet she died of want, exposure, and

grief!” said Nora’s son, standing pale and stony before him. “ And I—live with a breaking heart! a harder fate, Ishmael. Since her death, I have been a wifeless, childless. homeless eried Ishmael, Sas ee with agitation.

-

HERMAN AND ISHMAEL. 11 wanderer over the wide world! Oh, Ishmael! my son! my son! give me your hand!”

“JT am your mother’s son! She was your wife, you say; yet she never bore your name! She was your wife; yet her son and yours bears her maiden name! She was your wife; yet she perished miserably in her early youth; and undeserved reproach is suffered to rest upon her memory! Oh, sir! if indeed you were her husband and my father, as you claim to be, explain these things before I give you my hand! for when I give my hand, honor and respect must go with it,” said Ishmael in a grave, sweet, earnest tone.

“Ts it possible that Hannah has never told you? I thought she would have told you everything, except the name of your father.”

“She told me everything that she could tell without violating the oath of secrecy by which she was bound; but what she told me was not satisfactory.”

“Sit down then, Ishmael, sit down; and though to recall this woeful history will be to tear open old wounds afresh, I will do so; and when you have heard it, you will know how blameless we both—your mother and myself—really were, and how deep has been the tragedy of my life as well as hers—the difference between us being that hers is a dead trouble, from which she rests eternally, while mine is a living and life-long sorrow!”

Ishmael again dropped into his chair and gave undivided attention to the speaker.

And Mr. Brudenell, after a short pause, commenced and gave a narrative of his own eventful life, beginning with his college days, and detailing all the incidents of his youthful career until it culminated in the dreadful household wreck that had killed Nora, exiled his family and blasted his own happiness forever.

Tshmael listened with the deepest sympathy.

It was indeed the tearing open of old wounds in Herman Brudenell’s breast; and it was the inflicting of new ones in Ishmael’s heart. It was an hour of unspeakable distress to both. ‘Herman did not spare himself in the relation; yet in the end Ishmael exculpated his father from all blame. We know indeed that in his relations with Nora he was blameless, unless his fatal haste could be called a fault. And so for his long neglect of Ishmael, which really was a great sin, and the greatest he had ever committed, Ishmael never gave a thought to that, it was only a sin against himself, and Ishmael was not selfish enough to feel or resent it.

Herman Brudenell ended his story very much as he had commenced it.

“ And since that day of doom, Ishmael, I have been a lonely, homeless, miserable wanderer over the wide world! The fabled Wandering Jew not more wretched than I!” And the bowed head, blanched complexion, and quivering features bore testimony.to his words.

Chapter III. Father And Son

For though thou work’st my mother ill I feel thou art my father still!

—Byron.

Yet what no chance could then reveal, And no one would be first to own, Let fate and courage still conceal, When truth could bring reproach alone.

—Miines.

Ishmael had been violently shaken. It was with much effort that. he controlled his own emotions in order to administer consolation to one who was suffering even more than he himself was, because that suffering was blended with a morbid remorse.

“Father,” he said, reaching forth his hand to the stricken man; but his voice failed him.

Herman Brudenell looked up; an expression of earnest love chasing away the sorrow from his face, as he said:

“Father? Ah, what a dear name! You call me thus, Ishmael? Me, who worked your mother so much woe?”

“Father, it was your great. misfortune, not your fault; she said it on her doath-bed, and the words of the dying are sacred,” said Ishmael earnestly, and caressing the pale, thin hand that he held.

“Oh, Nora! Oh, Nora!” exclaimed Herman, as all his bosom’s wounds bled afresh.

_ “Father, do not grieve so bitterly; and after all these years so morbidly! God has wiped away all tears from her eyes. She has been a saint in glory these many years!”

FATHER AND SON. 13

“You try to comfort me, Ishmael. You, Nora’s son?” exclaimed Herman, with increased emotion.

“Who else of all the world should comfort you but Nora’s son?”

“You love me, then, a little, Ishmael?”

“She loved you, my father, and why should not I?”

“ Ah, that means that you will love me in time; for love is not born in an instant, my son.”

“My heart reaches out to you, my father: I love you even now, and sympathize with you deeply; and I feel that I shall love you more and more, and as I shall see you oftener and know you better,” said the simply truthful son.

“Tshmael! this is the happiest hour I have known since Nora’s death, and Nora’s son has given it to me.”

“None have a better right to serve you.”

“My son, I am a prematurely old and broken man, ruined and impoverished, but Brudenell Hall is still mine, and the name of Brudenell is one of the most ancient and honored in the Old and New World! If you consent, Ishmael, I will gladly, proudly, and openly acknowledge you as my son. I will get an act of the Legislature passed authorizing you to take the name and arms of Brudenell. And I will make you the heir of Brudenell Hall. What say you, Ishmael?”

“Father,” said the young man, promptly but respectfully, “no! In all things I will be to you a true and loving son; but I cannot, cannot consent to your proposal; because to do so would be to cast bitter, heavy, unmerited reproach upon my sweet mother’s memory! For, listen, sir: you are known to have been the husband of the Countess Hurstmonceux for more years than I have lived in this world; you are known to have been so at the very time of my birth; you could not go about explaining the circumstances to everyone who would become acquainted with the facts, and the consequences would be what I said! No, father, leave me as I am; for, besides the reasons I have given, there is yet another reason why I may not take your name.”

“What is that, Ishmael?” asked Brudenell, in a broken voice.

“Tt is, that in an hour of passionate grief, after hearing my mother’s woeful story from the lips of my aunt, I fell upon that __ mother’s grave and vowed to make her name—the only thing she had to leave me, poor mother!—illustrious. It was a piece of boyish vainglory, no doubt, but it was a vow, and I must try to keep it,” said Ishmael, faintly smiling.

“You will keep it; you will make the name of Worth illustrious in the annals of the country, Ishmael,” said Mr. Brudenell.

There was a pause for a little while, at the end of which the latter said:

“ There is another way in which I may be able to accomplish my purpose, Ishmael. Without proclaiming you as my son, and risking the reproach you dread for your dear mother’s memory, I might adopt you as my son, and appoint you as my heir. Will you make me happy by consenting to that measure, Ishmael?” inquired the father, in a persuasive tone.