Mrs. M'Lerie

Contents

PAGE

I ON THE CRAFT ........ 3

ii THE COUNTRY VISIT ..... 21 m MRS. M'LERIE VISITS THE Zoo . 39 iv THE RAFFLE TICKET ..... 56

II

, ye Ve got back," said Mrs. Munro, seating herself at her old friend's table and taking the cup of tea presented to her.

"Ay, I Ve got back," returned Mrs. M'Lerie, who had been spending nearly a week with her sister-in-law in the country and whose homely, kindly visage wore an unaccustomed rosiness.

Mrs. Munro poured a portion of her tea into her saucer, and took a mouthful of the almost scalding liquid, making a peculiar sound, doubtless of satisfaction, as it passed her lips.

"Ye 're lukin' rale weel, Mistress M'Lerie," she observed presently. 21

"I 'm feelin' no' so bad, Mistress Munro; I 'm feelin' no' so bad— noo," the hostess admitted.

Mrs. Munro looked puzzled. "Ye mean ye 're kin' o' gled to be hame again, I suppose," she said.

"Jist that," replied Mrs. M'Lerie, rather shortly.

"Did ye no' enjye yersel'?" exclaimed her friend, in surprise.

"Whiles."

* ' 'Deed, I 'm vexed fur that, ' ' said the visitor, with a gaze of sympathy.

"I 'm no' sayin' I didna enjye masel ', ' ' said the other, hastily. ' ' Ye mauna think that, Mistress Munro, ye mauna think that!"

"But I doot it wisna a' pleesure," remarked Mrs. Munro, who could not help feeling curious regarding her friend's experiences in the country.

"Maybe no', maybe no'," slowly replied Mrs. M' Lerie. * ' But is there onythin' in the warld that 's a' pleesure! Tell me that, Mistress Munro ! ' '

Mrs. Munro took a drink of tea before she replied. "I daursay ye 're richt. But I wis hopin' it wud be naethin' but pleesure wi ' yer guid-sister in the country."

* ' I thocht that masel '. But, as ye ken, I gaed to please ma man. Ye see, his sister has askit me fur near twinty year, an' I 've aye said I cudna gang; but this time ma man wis that anxious fur me to gang, an' I jist gaed. . . . Aweel, it 's a' bye noo, an', as ye say, I 'm kin' o' gled to get hame. ' '

"Ay. But whit gaed wrang, that ye didna enjye yersel'?" inquired Mrs. Munro.

"I didna say I didna enjye masel'," was the reply, given with a touch of asperity.

"Weel, ye didna exactly say ye did, did ye?"

"Och, never heed aboot it. It 's a' bye noo. ' '

But Mrs. Munro was not to be put off. 1 'I ken fine ye didna enjye yersel', so ye best tell us a ' aboot it. ' '

Mrs. M'Lerie looked uneasy. "Ye— ye '11 no tell ma man I tell't ye?" she said at last.

Mrs. Munro drew herself up, and very solemnly said: "May I dee this vera meenit if I ever open ma mooth ! ' ' Then she finished her tea and passed in her cup.

The hostess refilled the cup and handed it back before she replied. ' ' Mind, ' ' she began at last, ' ' mind, I 'm no' sayin' onythin' ag'in' ma guid-sister, IVlistress M'Corkindale."

Mrs. Munro nodded reassuringly as she stirred her tea.

* ' Weel, I '11 jist ha 'e to tell ye a' aboot it," said Mrs. M'Lerie. "To begin wi', I had a maist awf u ' rin fur the train. I thocht it stairtit at twinty-five past twa, but when I got to the station, wi' ma tin boax an' twa- three paircels, it wis jist the time; an' I wis sclimmin' intil a cairriage when a man grups ma airm an ' speirt at me whaur I wis gaun. . . . 'Kinbuckie,' says I. ... 'This is the train for Mulguy,' he says, kin' o' short-like. . . . 'Deed, Mistress Munro, it wis a narra escape! . . . 'Whaur 's the Kinbuckie train?' says I, when he had tooken ma boax an ' paircels oot the cairriage an ' drappit them on the gr 'un ' jist as if they wis dirt. . . . 'Number three platform,' says he, 'but ye Ve plenty time. It disna stairt till ten meenits afore five. ' . . . ' But I want the train that gangs at twinty-five past twa, ' says I, kin' o' angry, fur he had pu'ed the

26 MRS. M'LEBIE

string aff yin o' ma paircels. . . . * Weel, ye better tak' a sate an' wait till Setterday,' says he. An' wi' that he gaed awa'."

"Aw, I see," said Mrs. Munro, "ye hadna noticed the train wis Setterdays only. Whit a peety!"

"I can tell ye, I wis gey sair pit oot, f urbye the impiddence o ' the man tellin ' me to wait till Setterday when it wis jist Tuesday. But at last I got awa'."

"Is 't a lang journey to Kinbuckie?" inquired Mrs. Munro.

"Near three 'oors, an', as ye ken, I dinna like sittin' in trains. But there wis a dacent auld man in the cairriage, an' he tell't me aboot a' the places on the road, an ' tell 't me when I wis comin ' near Kinbuckie. So I got there safe an' soon', an' no muckle the waur, excep' that I wis unco dry, an' wearyin' fur a dish o' tea."

"Ye wud be that," remarked Mrs. Munro, in tones of sympathy. "An' wis Mistress M' Corkindale waitin ' at the station?"

"Na; but her man wis there. He said he guessed I wud come wi' that train, but I think Mistress M' Corkindale micht ha'e let me ken aboot the ither train bein' a Setterday yin."

"Is Maister M' Corkindale a nice man!"

"Mphm! . . . Ay, he 's a nice man, Mistress Munro. Faur be it frae me to say a word ag 'in 'Maister M' Corkindale. An* he 's weel aff. But he 's awfu' quate. He hardly ever opens his mooth, an' when he dis, it 's jist like a moose squeakin'. . . . But I wis gaun to tell ye whit happened efter I got oot the station. Maister M* Corkindale pit ma boax an' paircels intil yin o' thae machines that 's a' wheels an' nae sates— jigs, I think they ca' them, an'-"

"It wud be a gig ye mean," Mrs. Munro interrupted.

' ' Maybe. But I can tell ye it felt liker a jig. 'Deed, ay!" retorted her friend. "I wisna fur gettin' up on the machine at first, and tell't Maister M'Corkindale I wud shinner walk, fur the horse lukit kin' o' wild an' furious. But he said it wis near sax mile to the fairm, an' I needna be f eart. Ma certy ! if I had kent it wis that length f rae the station I wud never ha'e left Glesca! . . . But there wis naethin' else fur it, so efter twa-three attem's I sprauchled up on the machine, an' awa' we gaed. I needna tell ye ma sufferin's, Mistress Munro, but I wis near shooken to bits when I got to the fairm, an' rale thenkfu' to feel the gr'un' ablow ma feet again."

"But yer troubles wud be ower, as it were, when ye got to the fainn," Mrs. Munro observed cheerfully.

"Ye micht think that, Mistress Munro, ye micht think that! I thocht that masel'— at first."

' ' But whit gaed wrang ? Wis Mistress M* Corkindale no' rale kind and pleesant?"

' * I never said onythin ' ag 'in ' ma guid-sister, Mistress M' Corkindale ! "

"I 'm no' sayin' ye did, Mistress M'Lerie. I— I wis merely speirin', so to speak. ' '

"Ay, ay. ... Weel, as I wis sayin', I wudna say onythin' ag'in' ma guid-sister, Mistress M' Corkindale ; but— but-"

"Ye needna be feart sayin' onythin' to an' auld freen' like masel', Mistress M' Lerie. May I dee this vera meenit if I ever — "

"I ken that, Mistress Munro, I ken that," said Mrs. M'Lerie, gently. "I ken ye wudna repeat onythin' I tell't ye."

''No' if I wis to be tortured on the rack," said Mrs. Munro, who was fond of reading Foxe's "Book of Martyrs."

"I left yin o' ma paircels on the rack," said Mrs. M'Lerie, "but I got it the next day."

"I didna mean that kin' o' rack. I meant the rack fur— fur streechin' folk."

"Oh, ay. ... Mphm. . . . Aweel, I wis gaun to tell ye aboot whit I got at the fairm, Mistress Munro."

"An' whit wis that?"

"It wis— Mind, I 'm no sayin' onythin' ag'in' ma guid-sister, Mistress M'Corkindale. Mind that! ... But whit think ye I got fur ma supper?"

"She didna gi'e ye jist a plain tea?"

"Plain tea! My! I wud ha'e been gled o ' that, Mistress Munro, I wud ha 'e been gledo' that!"

"Whit did she gi'e ye?"

"A biled egg an' a— a cup o* co-co-a ! ' ' cried Mrs. M' Lerie.

"Co-co-a?"

"Ay! neither mair nor less! An' I wis that dry ! . . . Aw, Mistress Munro, did ye ever get a big cup o ' co-co-a when ye wis wearyin' — ay, jist wearyin' — fur a guid cup o ' tea 1 ' '

"I 'in thenkfu' to he in the poseetion to say I never did ! ' ' replied Mrs. Munro, forcibly. * ' Weel, weel ! ' ' she added, and shook her head despairingly.

' ' That 's whit / got, ' ' said Mrs. M' Lerie. "Ay, an' that 's the only drink I got a' the time I wis awa'— CO-CO-A!"

"Co-co-A!"

"Jist CO-CO-A! . . . Mistress M' Corkindale said it wis the only drink that wisna entirely deleerious."

1 1 Ye mean deleteerious. ' '

"Aweel, it 's a' yin. But that *s whit she said, onywey. . . . An' co-co-a 's a thing I canna thole ! ' '

"Dearie me! Nae wnnner ye didna enjye yersel ', Mrs. M' Lerie. ' '

"I never said I didna enjye inasel'! An' faur be it frae me to say a word ag'in'— "

"Weel, weel," said Mrs. Munro, soothingly. "I suppose Mistress M'Corkindale an' her man are whit ye micht ca' converts."

1 1 They wisna diverts, onywey. ' '

"I mean converts to CO-CO-A," said Mrs. Munro.

"Nae doot!" Mrs. M' Lerie replied. "The twa o' them wis jist daft fur it. I wis wunnerin' if it wis the COCOA that gi'ed Maister M' Corkindale his squeakie v'ice. . . . But I maun say he aye tuk a wee drappie speerits afore he gaeol to his bed. No ' that he ever said, ' Here 's t ' ye ! ' Na ! But f aur be it f rae me to-"

"A' the same," interposed Mrs. Munro, "ye wud ha'e a fine healthy life at the f airm. ' '

"Mphm!"

* ' Ye wud get the mulk warm f rae the coos?"

* ' Ay, but I prefer it cauld i ' the can. ' '

Mrs. Munro laughed. Then she said : "An' ye wud get eggs new laid."

"Fresh is guid enough fur me."

"Ay. But it maun be fine to sit doon to yer breakfast, kennen the eggs wis laid that vera mornin ' ! "

"Maybe. ... It 's no' vera fine hearin' them bein' laid at three o'clock in the mornin'."

"Tits! Ye cudna hear an egg bein' laid, Mistress M'Lerie!"

"Cud I no 'I . . . I tell ye, Mistress

Munro, I heard the beasts cryin' 'Cocka-leerie-law ' every mornin'— ay, even on the Sawbath!"

* ' Och ! That wud be the cocks. ' '

"Aweel, it 's a' yin. Whitever it wis, it begood aboot three i' the mornin', an' I never boot an e'e efter that. Aw, Mistress Munro, it 's a sair job bidin ' at a f airm when ye 're no ' used to it!"

"But ye wud ha'e some nice walks through the day, Mistress M'Lerie."

Mrs. M' Lerie shook her head.

' ' Is 't no ' a bonny place Kinbuckie f ' ' Mrs. Munro inquired.

* ' I never said it wisna bonny. ' '

"Weel?"

"Aw, naethin'."

"But did ye no' gang ony walks?"

"Yinst."

"Wis that a'?"

"Ay, that wis a'."

Mrs. Munro looked inquiringly at her friend.

After a long silence, Mrs. M'Lerie said impressively : * ' It wis a goat. ' '

"A whit?"

"A goat— a wild goat."

* * Mercy me ! ... Did it dunch ye ? "

"It tried it. Ay, an' it chased me fur near a mile! I thocht I wis dune fur!"

"But did ye no' try to frichten it awa'? Did ye no turn roon' an' face it, as it were?"

' ' Face it, Mistress Munro ! If ye had seen thon awfu' beast loupin' aboot like mad an' tryin' to bore holes in ye wi' its f richtsome horns, ye wudna be talkin ' aboot facin' it! Facin' it? Ma certy! I wud as shin face a ragin', roarin' lion!"

"Weel, weel," said Mrs. Munro, soothingly, "I daursay ye wis wice to rin fur 't. Discreetion is the better pairt o ' valor, ye ken. ' '

1 * Mphm. But I 'm thinkin ' it wud be better if folk kept their wild goats chained. Ay ! ' '

"But ye escaped, Mistress M'Lerie."

"I escaped, as ye say, Mistress Munro —an' nae mair. When I won back to the fairm an' yin o' the lassies got a grup o' the beast, I sank doon on the doorstep an ' thocht I wud never get ma breith again. ' '

"Ye wud be gey warm furbye."

"Warm! I wis jist meltin', an' yet it wis a kin ' o ' cauld warmness. An ' fur twa days I wis jist shakin' an' trim'lin' an' cudna tak' ma meat."

' ' Dearie me ! Did Mistress M' Corkindale no' gi'e ye onythin' to help ye — a wee taste speerits f Eh ? ' '

"There 's nae drink in her hoose excep' fur her man. But I wudna ha'e tooken it onywey. She gi 'ed me co-co-a, an'— an' I wud ha'e gi'ed five shullin's fur a dish o' tea. But that wisna a', Mistress Munro, that wisna a'."

"Wis 't no'!"

"Na. Her an' her man laucht till I thocht they had baith gane clean daft."

" Laucht at ye?"

* * Jist that. They tried to gar me believe it wis a tame goat— a tame goat— an ' it wis jist wantin ' to play wi ' me. A tame goat — a TAME—

"But maybe it wis a tame goat, Mistress M'Lerie."

For once in her life, Mrs. M'Lerie's face lowered on her friend. < ' I— I wisht ye had seen the beast as near as I did ! ' ' she cried indignantly.

"Aw, weel, I suppose ye 're richt aboot it bein ' a wild yin. ' '

"I suppose I am."

There was a somewhat uncomfortable pause, and Mrs. Munro made an effort to change the subject. "An' whit did ye dae the ither days ? ' ' she inquired.

"I bided in the hoose."

"Wis it wat!"

"Na, it wisna wat," replied Mrs. M'Lerie, stiffly. Then, suddenly, seeing her old friend's distressed expression, she let her good humor return. With a laugh, she said: "Ye see, Mistress Munro, I didna feel I wis needin' ony mair exercise that week. ' '

Mrs. Munro laughed also, and rose to go. "Ye 're gled to be hame, onywey," she said.

* * 'Deed, ay ! " returned Mrs. M* Lerie, heartily. And as her friend left the house she called after her: "Mind, Mistress Munro, I never said I didna enjye maselV

Ill

DAE ye mean to tell me, Mistress M'Lerie, that ye Ve never been inside a zoo I ' ' cried Mrs. Munro, falling back in her chair, staring at her friend, and emphasizing her astonishment by throwing up her hands, one of which grasped a slip of orange-colored paper.

"Never!" was the solemn reply.

"But ye '11 ha'e been in a traivelin' menagerie, maybe ? ' '

"Nor that, either. But I Ve been twicet in a paronama, an'-

"Whit 's that ye say!"

"A paronama, Mistress Munro,— a kin' o' muckle pictur, ye ken. An' I wis yinst—

"Aw, ye mean a panorama."

"Ay, that '11 be it. An' I wis yinst near inside an asquarian—

"Aquarium."

"Aweel, it 's a' yin. As I wis tellin' ye, I wis yinst near inside an aquarian. ' '

"An' whit wey did ye no' gang richt inside ? ' '

"Weel, ye see, I gaed wi' Mistress M* Taggart— puir wumman ! She 's been deid mony a year, but she wis he'rty enough then— an' she wis that stoot, puir buddy ! she cudna win through the whurly thing whaur they tuk the money. The man wis fur openin ' the big door to let her in, but we wis baith that affrontit, we jist gaed stracht hame to hide wur rid faces."

"That wis a sad job," said Mrs. Munro. "I mind Mistress M' Taggart fine. A dacent wumman she wis, an* aye cheery, conseederin' the burden laid upon her, as it were. . . . But if ye 're ready noo, Mistress M'Lerie, we '11 awa' an ' ha 'e a keek at the beasts. ' '

"Are ye shair the tucket 's a' richt?" Mrs. M'Lerie inquired. "I aye ha'e ma doots aboot —

"Ye needna be feart. As I tell't ye, ma man got it frae the lion-tamer when he wis daein' a bit plumber work at the Zoo, the ither day. It 's jist as guid as money at the door."

"Weel, weel, I '11 say nae mair, Mistress Munro, I '11 sae nae mair, excep' that I yinst got a free tucket fur a bazaur, an' I shin fun' oot it wis jist a trap to get me inside. I didna get oot free, I can tell ye ! "

"Aw, I mind a' aboot the bazaur," said Mrs. Munro, rising from her friend's easy-chair, and smoothing down the front of her skirt. * * But I can promise ye, ye '11 ha'e nae cause to regret peyin' a veesit to the Zoo. Noo we best be hurryin', or we '11 no' ha'e time to see a' the beasts."

"I 'm shair I dinna ken whit ma man '11 say aboot it," said Mrs. M'Lerie, as she left the house with her friend. "He 's that parteeclar."

i l Toots ! There 's nae innocenter enjyment nor the Zoo. 'Deed, I micht say it wis an enjyment lairgely freequented wi' meenisters. So ye needna be feart, Mistress M'Lerie."

"Weel, I maun be hame in guid time fur to get his tea ready."

"I '11 see to that, Mistress M'Lerie. Dinna fash yersel ' ! I '11 no ' let ye be late. Jist pit yer trust in me. ' '

Somewhat relieved of her varied forebodings, Mrs. M'Lerie hastened alongside her friend, and in about twenty minutes arrived at the entrance to the Zoo.

Mrs. Munro, not without some show of dignity and importance, presented her orange slip at the window of the pay-box.

A hand pushed it back to her, and a polite voice said : * * Admits in the evening only."

"Whit 's that?" exclaimed Mrs. Munro.

"This pass is not available in the afternoon— only in the evening."

"Whit wey that?" she demanded.

"It 's the rule, ma'am," said the polite voice.

"The rule?"

1 1 Yes. Kindly make way, ma 'am. ' '

A number of people were waiting admission, and, choking with indignation, Mrs. Munro pushed past them, followed by her puzzled companion.

"Is onythin' wrang?" asked the latter, when they halted in the open air.

"He said the tucket wis fur the evenin' only," gasped Mrs. Munro.

* ' An ' wud he no ' let us in T '

"Mphm! . . . Fine ham!"

"I— I wis feart it wis a trap," said Mrs. M'Lerie, sadly. "An' I thocht it wis gey suspeecious-like when the man wis hidin' hissel' in thon boax place. Ay, I wis feart it wis a trap. ' '

"Ach, you an' yer traps!" cried Mrs. Munro, in an outburst of irritation. "You an' yer— Oh, I 'm shair I ask yer paurdon, Mistress M'Lerie. Ye maun excuse me bein' pit oot, as it were," she added more gently, noticing her friend's hurt expression. "I ask yer paurdon humbly. ' '

"It 's grantit, it 's grantit," said Mrs. M'Lerie at once. "An' I suppose we best jist gang haine an' ha'e a dish o' tea, Mistress Munro."

' ' Na, na ! I invitet ye fur to see the wild beasts, an' ye 're gaun to see the wild beasts— ay, if I dee this vera meenit ! ' '

"Ah, but ye mauna pit yersel' aboot, Mistress Munro, ye mauna pit yersel' aboot. I 'm no' sayin' I 'm no' wantin' to see the wild beasts— I 'm no' sayin' that— but ye mauna pit yersel' aboot."

Mrs. Munro, however, did not wait to hear the end of her companion's apology, but approached the pay-box once more, and said :

"Haw! you in the boax, whit 's the price fur twa!"

"Adults or juveniles?" the polite voice inquired.

"I '11 juvenile ye !" cried Mrs. Munro. * * We 're twa dacent mairrit weemen, an ' if ye wis oot yer boax I wud shin let ye ken that, ye— ye— ye cooard!"

"Sixpence each," said the polite voice, calmly.

"Saxpence each? Aweel, there 's a shullin'! But I doot if the hale j ingbang o' yer beasts is worth it. . . . Come awa,' Mistress M-Lerie."

" Thank you, ma'am," said the polite voice. "It would have been a pity to have given up your evening pass, because it admits to the circus as well as to the Zoo."

" D ' ye tell me that ? ' ' exclaimed Mrs. Munro. ' * 'Deed, sir, I 'm vexed fur whit I said. Ye see, I thocht ye wis gettin' the best o' me, you bein' in yer boax— concealed frae the public gaze, as it were. Yer paurdon, sir, an' thenk ye kindly. ' '

"All right, ma'am. Pass in," said the polite voice, with something like a chuckle.

"Come awa', Mistress M'Lerie," cried Mrs. Munro. "Dinna be feart. There 's nae trap, an' the young man in the boax isna whit ye thoeht he wis."

Mrs. M'Lerie followed her friend into the Zoo, scarcely hearing the Matter's further complimentary remarks on the "young man in the boax," and halted just inside the swing-doors, staring about her.

' ' Weel, whit dae ye think o ' this ? " inquired her guide in the patronizing voice of one who has "been there before. ' '

"I— I dinna see ony meenisters," said Mrs. M'Lerie, doubtfully.

"Dae ye no'? That 's unusual. But, efter a', ye cam' to see wild beasts, an' there 's plenty o ' them, I warrant ye ! Come awa' an' see the lions an' the ieagurs. ' '

"Thenk ye, I think I '11 jist bide here, Mistress Munro, I '11 jist bide here."

"Ye 're no' feart, are ye?"

"Na; I 'm no' feart."

"Weel, come awa' an' see the beasts close. They '11 no ' hurt ye. They canna win oot their cages. See! Thonder a lion!"

" Ay, I see it rale weel frae here, thenk ye."

"Thon 's no' the biggest lion."

"Is 't no'? It 's gey big. I doot it 's ett up folk in its day."

"No' it!" cried Mrs. Munro, laughing. "Come awa', an' dinna be feart." And she led the unwilling Mrs. M'Lerie toward the cages. "Is that no' a noble beast 1 ' ' she asked, pointing to a captive.

"Ay, it 's gey noble. Oh, it 's wantin ' to get at us ! It 's roarin ' I "

"Ach, ye 're quite safe! Mercy me! ye 're a' shakin', Mistress M'Lerie."

"I dinna like the beasts' booin'. It 's frichtsome. Are ye shair the cages is strong?"

' ' Ob, the cages is a' richt. But maybe we best gang an' see some o' tbe ither beasts first."

' ' 'Deed, ay ! " said Mrs. M' Lerie, eagerly. "Is there nae wee yins?"

' ' Wee yins ! Whit kin ' o ' wee yins ! ' '

"I doot it. Ye see, this is a place fur wild beasts— wild beasts in a tame condeetion, so to speak, ' ' Mrs. Munro added hastily, noting the alarm on the other's face. "We '11 gang to the ither end an' see the elephants an ' caymels, ' ' she went on, taking her friend's arm.

"It 's no' the first time I Ve seen an elephant, onywey," observed Mrs. M' Lerie, plucking up courage. ' ' I yinst seen twa-three in a procession, an' whiles I Ve seen picturs in the 'Sunday Sentinel.' In fac,' I wud ken an elephant ony day. Thon yin 's gotten an' awfu'

wee trunk fur its size, has it no', Mistress Munro ?"

1 1 Tits, Mistress M'Lerie! That 's its tail!"

"Aweel, it 's a' yin," said Mrs. M'Lerie, the least thing annoyed.

"Come roon' here," said Mrs. Munro, who had stopped to purchase a pennyworth of biscuits, "an' we '11 feed the beast. ' '

' ' Preserve us ! " cried Mrs. M* Lerie, a minute later, "I thocht we wis gaun to be swallowed up like Jonah."

"It wisna an elephant that got Jonah!"

"I ken that. But thon beast's mooth gi 'ed me a f richt ! An ' whit awf u ' feet ! Come awa' quick, Mistress Munro. I dinna like it. If thon beast wis gettin' loose, it wud champ us like tatties. ' '

"Ye needna be feart, Mistress M' Lerie."

"I never said I wis feart; but— but prevention 's better nor cure, as I yinst read on a bottle o ' kair-ile in a doctor 's shope. ' '

"It 's a true savin' that, but I think ye 're takin' yer pleesure ower solemn-like. Hoo dae ye like the caymels?" Mrs. Munro inquired, after a pause.

* * I think they 're gey like me, Mistress Munro, ' ' returned Mrs. M; Lerie, with a sudden twinkle in her eye.

"Hoo that?"

"They 're takin' their pleesure ower solemn-like ! Ha ! ha ! "

"My! that 's a guid bit joke! Ha! ha ! ha ! 'Deed, ay ! Ha ! ha ! Mphm ! Ye 're beginnin' to enjye yersel', maybe? Eh?"

"I am that, Mistress Munro, I am that ! Though I maun alloo I wis a wee thing frichtit at the first. But I daursay

I 'm gettin' used to the danger. Oh,

mercy ! Whit 's thon beast I ' ' ' ' It 's a species o ' monkey. ' ' "A speeshiso monkey? Weel, it 's

fully as heathenish as its name, an' I 'in

no' gaun near it— the nesty girnin'

beast!"

• •••••

"Is there nae bonny beasts in the Zoo, Mistress Munro?" asked Mrs. M'Lerie, half-an-hour later.

1 1 1 canna say there is. But there 's a wheen bonny birds."

"Aw, I wud like fine to see the birds, so I wud ! ' '

' ' I dinna think the birds is vera interrestin', but we '11 ha'e a keek at them. . . . There ye are ! ' ' And Mrs. Munro waved her hand toward a number of cages occupied by birds of more or less gaudy plumage.

Mrs. M'Lerie stood rapt in admiration, till her friend observed pleasantly :

* ' They beat yer stuffed birds, Mistress M' Lerie, dae they no ' ? "

"I wudna say that," she returned sharply. ' l Na, I wudna say that. Thae birds is vera fine an' numerous, but they 're no' jist up to ma birds, Mistress Munro. Na, na ! "

"But luk at thon big yin— it 's ca'ed a toucan—

"I 'm no' heedin' if it 's ca'ed a tin can— it 's no' up to ony o' ma—"

"But see thon gorgeous yin wi' the-"

"Na, na! There 's nane o' them can tich ma birds fur— fur feenish." And Mrs. M' Lerie moved away from the cages.

"I hope ye 're no' offendit," said Mrs. Munro, following her. "I had nae thocht o' insultin' yer birds when I said-"

"I 'm no ' the least offendit or insultit, Mistress Munro," the other replied;

"but, to tell ye truth, I 'm feart I '11 be late fur ma man the nicht."

' ' Oh, but ye Ve no ' seen hauf the Zoo yet. Ye Ve no' seen the serpents nor the-"

"Thenk ye kindly; but I Ve got to get sassingers fur ma man 's tea, an' it micht pit me aff cookin' them if I wis lukin ' at boar-constructors an ' ither terrifyin' reptiles the noo. I wish ye wud tell me the time, Mistress Munro."

"Jist come an' ha'e a keek at the zebra, Mistress M'Lerie. Ye '11 like the zebra. It 's a kin' o' strippit cuddy, an'-" -

1 ' Thenk ye, thenk ye ; but I doot it 's time I wis awa' hame. . . . Whit 's the time, if ye please?" Mrs. M'Lerie inquired of an elderly man who happened to be standing beside her.