Memoir of Rachel Hicks

Chapter I

Birth and Parentage — Early Religious Experience — Hospitality of her Father's House — Exercises of her Mind concerning Divine Requisitions — Her Marriage — First Appearance in the Ministry page 1-13

CHAPTER n.

Some Account of her Husband — Reflections incident to his Illness and Death — Account of her Ancestors — Origin of the Township of Westbury page 14-30

Chapter III

Separation in New York Yearly Meeting — Her Religious Experiences and Exercises — Death of Two Children.

Chapter IV

The Acknowledgment of her Gift in the Ministry — Religious Visit to Nine Partners and Stanford Quarterly iv Contents,

Meetings as Companion to Phebe I. Merritt — Attends the Yearly Meeting of Philadelphia as Companion to Sarah Hicks — Obtains a Minute to attend the Quarterly- Meetings of Stanford and Duanesburgh and appoint some Meetings — Minute to attend the Yearly Meetings of Genesee, Ohio, and Indiana, and Subordinate Meetings — Incidents of the Journey page 40-53

Chapter V

Obtains a Minute to attend the Quarterly Meetings of Purchase and Shrewsbury and Rahway, and the Meetings composing them- — Minutes to attend the Yearly Meetings of Genesee, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Ohio, Indiana, and all the Meetings constituting them, and also for Service in her own Yearly Meeting page 54-63

Chapter VI

Illness and Death of her Son Abraham — Tribute to his Worth — Eiiercises in Prospect of further Labor — Obtains a Minute to attend all the Meetings constituting New York Nearly Meeting — Attends Baltimore Yearly Meeting and the Meetings constituting it — Reflections upon the System of Slavery page 64-76

Contents. v

Chapter VII

Obtains a Minute to visit the Families of Westbury Quarterly Meeting — Minute to visit the Families of the three Monthly Meetings of Philadelphia— Illness and Death of her Companion, Caroline Willets — Minute to Visit the Families of the Monthly Meeting of Baltimore — Minutes to attend the Yearly Meetings of Philadelphia, Ohio, Indiana, and remote Settlements in the West. page 77-93

Chapter VIII

Exercises of her mind induced by the Condition of our Country page 94-109

Chapter IX

Minutes to attend Genesee Yearly Meeting, the Meetings constituting New York Yearly Meeting, and to visit the Families of Amawalk and Chappaqua — Minute to attend Philadelphia Yearly Meeting and its Subordinate Meetings— Reflections upon the \York of the Ministry — Acknowledgment of Divine favor page 1 10-122

Chapter X

Visits some of the Subordinate Meetings of New York Yearly Meeting, as one of a Committee appointed to that Service page 123-129 vi Contents.

CHAPTER XL

Acknowledgment of Divine Favor — Obtains a Minute to attend all the Yearly Meetings with which we are in Unity — Attends Philadelphia Yearly Meeting — Also the Yearly Meetings of Ohio, Indiana, and Baltimore, and the remote Meetings in Illinois and Iowa — Attends Genesee Yearly Meeting — Retrospect of the Service.

Chapter XII

Reflections on the Nineteenth Anniversary of the Death of her Son Abraham — Retrospect of her Life upon entering her Eighty-sixth Year page 138-149

Chapter XIII

Retrospect at the Opening of the Year — Return of Minute, after visiting the Families of Friends and Friendly People in the Monthly Meetings of Westbuiy and Jericho — Gratitude for the Continued Evidences of Divine Favor in the Evening of Life — Attends Baltimore Yearly Meeting — Her Closing Record after entering her Ninetieth Year.

A Memorial of Rachel Hicks. By Westbury Monthly Meeting of Friends page 277-286

MEMOIR

OF

Chapter I

Birth and Parentage — Early Religious Experience — Hospitality of her Father's House — Exercises of her Mind concerning Divine Requisitions — Her Marriage — First Appearance in the Ministry.

I HAVE long felt that the work given me to do will not be finished unless I leave some account of my life and my various religious exercises in the course of it. In times past I have been fearful that a wish to transmit my name to a future generation had some share in the feeling. I have therefore put it off until this late period, and can now acknowledge that to have an evidence that my name is written in Heaven absorbs all other desires.

In a deep sense of my unworthiness, and with an awful solemnity resting upon my spirit, in the sixty-ninth year of my age, I begin this, my last legacy of love to my fellow-creatures. In this work I ask the aid of Him who, I believe, requires it of me ; hoping it may afford encouragement to some deeply exercised and tried mind when I shall have passed away from time and all its conflicts.

I was born on the loth of fourth month, 1789, and was carefully educated in the principles of Friends, by my religiously concerned parents, Gideon and Elizabeth Seaman. Having thus experienced the benefit of a guarded education, I can add my testimony to that of many who have gone before me, that a solemn responsibility rests upon parents to train their offspring to fear the Lord and keep His commandments which He impresses upon the mind by His own Spirit.

I remember, when I was about eight years old, being at school and using a word I did not know the meaning of — having learned it of a domestic — and which I had, at the moment, a gentle intimation against ; but soaring above it, I was brought under great condemnation of conscience. It was then opened to my understanding that the word used was synonymous with a vow, which I had been instructed by my parents was wrong, and which my Heavenly Father now, by His own Spirit, showed me was the cause of His displeasure, and that I must repent and forsake the use of it. My distress of mind was so great that my body became affected, and, being at school, I could in truth ask liberty of the teacher to go home, for I was not well.

I also distinctly remember the tender solicitude of my endeared mother in nursing me, which seemed to add to my condemnation. I felt that I had not only offended my Heavenly Father, but was putting my earthly parent to trouble for my transgression ; thus I lay for several hours bemoaning my condition, until He who sees the heart was pleased to forgive, and speak comfortably to my soul. Rejoicing in the return of peace, and acceptance with my Maker, I arose from my couch, told my mother I was better, and went "about as usual ; but ever after, through childhood, youth, and up to the present time, I have felt a great fear of offending Him from whom I could not hide my most secret thoughts or words. I had tasted the bitterness of condemnation and separation from the Divine harmony, and I dreaded it. I can now say, with the apostle, that even the ministration of condemnation is glorious, because it gives us a knowledge of what we lose of Divine enjoyment by transgression ; and is an evidence that God loves us and follows us to cause our return to Him in full obedience. Oh, then, how much more glorious is the ministration of justification, because we then feel the joy of acceptance and fellowship with the Father and with one another!

Although this love of the Father's presence, and the fear of losing it by disobedience, has been a preservation to me thus far, yet had I always yielded to impressions of duty to Him I should have escaped much suffering, and enjoyed a part of my life much better.

In childhood and youth I was mostly preserved in innocency, being shielded from many temptations by the restraining care and tender solicitude of my parents, who, early in life, habituated me to attend meetings steadily twice in the week, and kept me in *' plainness of speech, behavior, and apparel/' Although it was many times much in the cross to my natural inclinations, I had learned that submission to them was my duty ; and I have long seen that these restraints were a preservation to me from improper associations and from the growth of vanity and pride, of which I had, in my nature, a great share.

My father's house was a place of entertainment for Friends traveling in the ministry or attending quarterly and monthly meetings. On many of these occasions the company settled in silence, and often counsel flowed sweetly, to the tendering of many minds, especially those of the young. At these seasons impressions were made on my youthful mind that have never been effaced. I loved the company of these Friends and these seasons of religious instruction, and also to read the journals of Friends. ,But more especially did I delight in reading the historical part of the Holy Scriptures. The accounts of the patriarchs, prophets, and apostles, particularly the history of Joseph, made a deep impression on my mind as a remarkable instance of the superintending care of Providence over His children, and a desire was often raised in my heart to be like those faithful servants of the Lord, ot whom I read. Yet, at other times, I was fond of childish play, of hearing the singing of songs, and of listening to small instruments of music, in which I indulged in the absence of my parents, until condemnation of spirit taught me to cease from it. Thus I renewedly learned, by experience, that there is more enjoyment in obedience to God, and in feeling the incomes of His love, than there is in the indulgence of the unrestrained natural desires.

In childhood I contemplated death as a most solemn and awful event ; and my parents early impressed my mind with a dread of dying unprepared ; and hearing of individuals who had been suddenly taken out of time — sometimes by lightning — the fear of that phenomenon was so great that, when I saw clouds arising and heard the roar of thunder, I was led into a close examination of my inward state, to see if I was prepared for death, and fervent petitions were put up to my Heavenly Father to forgive all my sins, if I had transgressed against Him. Now as I review the past, I believe that this fear was a preservation to me, as it led to a daily care not to offend Him who is pure and holy; for an unshaken belief in the immortality of the soul, and in future rewards to the good, and punishment to the wicked, was forced on my mind.

My parents were in the practice of collecting the members of their family in the twilight of the evening, when the labors of the day were finished, and sitting in silent retirement perhaps half an hour. In one of these opportunities of introversion of spirit, about the nineteenth year of my age, my mind was turned to my Father in Heaven with strong desires to serve Him through life, and be preserved from sin, and its awful consequences; when the language was sounded intelligibly to my mental ear, *' If faithful to My requirings, thou wilt have to speak in My name to the assemblies of the people, and travel extensively in the ministry/' This was an unexpected and unwelcome message. My nature revolted, and I said in my heart, " This is a service I cannot perform/' Timid and bashful by nature, I felt that I never could stand before an assembly of people, and address them with intelligible voice and language. Any other service I thought I could perform, or make any sacrifice in lieu of so great a work for which I felt unfit and unworthy.

Although I endeavored to persuade myself that this was a delusion of the imagination, the impression continued with me, without the intimation that I was to arise and speak, until, in my twentieth year, while sitting in our meeting at Westbury enjoying the sweet incomes of the Father's love, and fearing the word of command, I said in my heart, ** Withhold Thy hand, for if my cup thus overflow, I shall be constrained to tell unto others what Thou hast done for my soul." This request, though impious and unwise upon my part, my Creator, in wisdom inscrutable, saw best to grant; and a sensible feeling of His presence was withdrawn, and long was I left, as a dove without its mate, moaning my condition, and longing for the return of the Beloved of my soul. Often did my spiritual eye see a table spread with rich dainties by His bountiful hand, and my famishing soul desired to partake ; but when the terms of admission were shown me, my stubborn will would not yield, and again and again I was turned backward in the wilderness, where beasts of prey howled around me, and I feared that I should fall a victim. 'In this state of rebellion the earth brought forth thorns and thistles ; or, in other words, the propensities of human nature grew strong, and I was sometimes irritable and impatient ; whereas I had heretofore been called mild and gentle in my disposition. Oh ! the danger of disobedience, which disqualifies for the right performance of our earthly concerns !

When I was about eighteen years of age my beloved mother was removed by death ; and in my twenty-sixth year I was married to Abraham Hicks, of Rockaway, Long Island.

lo Memoir of

I had many cares and duties resting upon me as a daughter to an aged father, and as a wife and mother. Although I strongly desired to discharge my various duties to my loved ones, and set a good example to all around me, I was sensible that I did not always maintain that degree of patience and equanimity of temper I would have been favored with had I been faithfully obedient to my Creator. This grieved me, for I loved the Truth, and desired not to do anything that would bring dishonor upon the profession of it.

The exercises of my mind were many and heavy, and, being depicted in my countenance, I was considered a concerned Friend, and was often appointed to the most important services in our Society. Although I felt myself to be among the chief of sinners, in the omission of a known duty, and therefore a great hypocrite, it seemed right for me to submit to the judgment of my friends, and do the best I could in these appointments. I nevertheless felt that I had been called to another station in the Church Militant by my Creator, who, although I was tossed, and not comforted, did not forsake, but followed me with His fatherly chastisements.

I had many and various trials and bereavements during this period, which were close and hard to endure ; among them the loss of my beloved husband, and two lovely children. But above all these, temptations seemed to have more power over me, and I saw in the light of Truth that if I did not yield my strong will to the will of my Creator, He would ere long give me over to my own strength and resolutions, which would be insufficient to enable me much longer to sustain even a moral character. Notwithstanding this, although alarmed and distressed beyond description, I did not yield ; until, in my forty-second year, while sitting in meeting on First-day morning, I there felt a requisition to arise and bear testimony to the Truth, with the impression strong and clear that this was the last offer and invitation of the Divine Father's love to my soul ; and if I chose to allow the meeting to close without submission I should be forever separated from the Divine harmony, in this world and in the world to come.

As this was awfully impressed upon my mind by the immediate operation of the Lord's Spirit, a minister belonging to our meeting arose and said there was one present who, if not faithful, would be cast off into a state of forgetfulness and darkness forever. I now saw and felt that there was inward and outward evidence of my being utterly cast off, which was more than I could bear or risk. I arose on my feet, and audibly and distinctly uttered a few sentences ; proving that to be a lying spirit which had so long persuaded me that I could not speak in a public assembly.

As I took my seat I did not feel that songs of praise and rejoicing were given me; but a peaceful and awful solemnity covered my spirit, in the feeling that my soul through mercy had been saved from eternal ruin, on the verge of which I had so lately stood ! All within me bowed in submission to Him who now appeared to me to be glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders ! and I entered into covenant with Him that, if He would go with me, I would follow Him whithersoever He would be pleased to lead me, and declare to the people that which He gave me for them.

And now, on looking back, I humbly feel that in great weakness and fear of offending Him, I have kept my covenant, except it may be in a few instances, when, through the fear of man and his rebuke, I have withheld the doctrine that flowed in my heart to the gathered assemblies of the people. Blessed be His name. He has kept His covenant with me ! He has done wonders for me in breaking down my strong will, that rose up in rebellion against Him, somewhat more than twenty years! His mercy is commensurate with His power, in that He did not leave me, but followed me as a tender Father, and at last plucked my feet out of the *' miry clay,** and set them on the immutable Rock, even His own eternal power and wisdom. Praises and thanksgiving be ascribed to Him forever and ever! saith all that is within me capable of feeling.

Chapter II

Some Account of her Husband — Reflections incident to his Illness and Death — Account of her Ancestors — Origin of the Township of Westbury.

Before proceeding further with my own narrative it seems due to my deceased husband to give some account of his life and religious exercises.

He was born at Rockaway, the i6th of ist mo., 1792, and was carefully educated in morality by his parents, Stephen and Mary Hicks, who, having been brought up in different religious societies — (his father, a brother of Elias Hicks, like him, was educated in the principles of the Society of Friends — his mother being an Episcopalian) — did not instil any particular doctrines in the minds of their children, but left them at liberty to choose and judge for themselves when they arrived at maturity. Hence, this son, when he grew up to manhood, being of a serious turn of mind,

Rachael Hicks. i5

and feeling a desire to join a religious society, attended the meetings of several religious denominations. But not finding in them that peace of mind which his soul sought for, about the twenty-second year of his age he felt drawn to attend the public Quarterly Meeting of Friends held at Westbury. Here, by the preaching of Stephen Grillet, his mind was tendered, and he felt that God is worshiped in spirit, and not by forms and ceremonies ; and his judgment was convinced that His kingdom is within man, and that those who seek it must find it there, by doing the will of our Father who is in Heaven.

Soon after this, the testimony of his uncle, Elias Hicks, that it were better for a man never to have known the Truth, than to have known it and not be faithful to its teachings, proved as the clinching of " a nail in a sure place." He now saw clearly that the Society of Friends was the denomination he must join, if he obtained that peace which his soul was seeking.

As he gradually yielded to the teachings of the Spirit of Truth, his mind was illuminated to see that customs and practices, amusements, fashionable dress and address, deemed innocent by many, tended to puff up the mind with pride and vanity, and that now he was to cease from them. Great were the exercises, and deep the baptisms he passed through, to prepare him to make the sacrifices called for, so that he sought lonely and solitary places to retire to, and pour out his prayers to God. Particular spots and groves on his father's farm in after life, when he saw them, revived in his memory the many mournful seasons of which they had been the silent witnesses, and the tears he had shed there. But they were not always tears of sorrow, for when his mind was contrited and made willing to obey the requirements of the Truth, his Divine Master visited him in tender compassion and consolation. Tears of gratitude and joy then flowed freely, and he was constrained to enter into covenant to serve the Lord in his day and generation.

He was thus enabled to take up his cross, despising the shame, and counting the reproaches of men as dross in comparison with that peace of mind which the world could neither give nor take away.

One duty after another was required as he was able to bear it, and although some little things were called for, it seemed harder to yield the will in these than if greater ones had been demanded. Those who had not had the trial, could not form an idea of the greatness of the cross in putting on the plain dress, using the plain language, and attending meetings twice in the week. Having fourteen miles to ride to get there, and his constitution being delicate, it seemed an unwarrantable exposure. None of his father's family then feeling as he did on these subjects, he expected their ridicule, and ^* the world's dread laugh;" but when he resignedly put his convictions into practice, instead of this, his family treated him with greater kindness and tenderness than heretofore. During these religious exercises he read much in the Scriptures of Truth, and found great instruction and consolation in them. Notwithstanding his mind was thus brought into subjection to the Divine Will, he did not soon make a request to be joined in membership with Friends, feeling it to be a great thing to take upon him so high a profession as that of being led and guided by the Spirit of Truth. Thus, from an apprehension of his own unworthiness, he put off what he felt to be a requisition of his Divine Master, until about the year 1813, when he was readily received by the Monthly Meeting of Westbury.

In twelfth month, 1815, we were married. Soon after he appeared in the ministry, and here again he had to go down into deep humiliation, sore conflicts, and baptisms ; but patiently abiding under the preparing hand, he became qualified to preach the gospel in the power and authority thereof, and in due time his gift was acknowledged by Friends.

Although not lengthy in his communications, he was sometimes close and searching, and, being faithful to the requirings of his Heavenly Father, he was enabled to do his day's work in the daytime. When laid on the bed of sickness, previous to his death, he said he had nothing to do but to bear the sufferings of the body. For eighteen months he was confined, mostly to his chamber, with consumption ; much of the time his sufferings were severe, but he bore all with great patience and resignation. Hearing of several sudden deaths, he remarked, '' Oh ! how they have been favored! What have I done that I must lie here so long and suffer? I see nothing in my way. If I had any more service for my Lord and Master I believe He would make me sensible of it, but I see nothing more than patiently to wait until the end ; although I desire to be released, all is centred in ^ Thy will be done.' " Thus he lay, still and quiet ; so much so that in the evening it was some times remarked that he had had a comfortable day, to which he replied, ** I have had as much pain as I was able to endure; but to tell of it would not relieve it. I am sometimes tried as to an hair's-breadth, but I endeavor to be patient.''

Thus, without a complaint, the body wasted away, but the mind remained clear and bright until the closing scene. On the 8th of 5th mo., 1827, the immortal spirit was released from its suffering tenement, and, we doubt not, entered into everlasting rest and peace.

We had lived together eleven years in harmony and unity of spirit, being favored to see eye to eye in those doctrines which for several years previous to his sickness had been discussed and controverted in the Society of Friends, tending to lessen and break up the sweet unity and free social intercourse which from the beginning had been enjoyed in a remarkable degree. And this was cause of sorrow to us. During his sickness he requested that the subject might not be conversed upon in his presence, or the books and papers published brought into his room ; often saying, ^^ If Friends would be still and retired in spirit before the Lord, it would be better for them.*'

In his own experience he had never found any other enemy to his souTs peace than that which he felt within him, which he believed belonged to his human nature, and he had no hope of redemption but by the Divine life of God in his soul, cleansing it from the inordinate desires of the flesh, and giving him the victory over temptation. Thus he knew Christ within to be the *' resurrection and the life.** These things he had learned by experience in the conflicts and baptisms of his early rehgious exercises. I fully united with him in his views of the Christian religion, having learned them, also, in my own experience in early life.

I likewise feel it right for me, and due to my ancestors, to record some account of their religious experiences. Of my dear father, Gideon Seaman, it may be truly said that through life he had been remarkable for consistency, uprightness, and integrity. He was deeply concerned for the maintenance of all our testimonies, traveled much as a companion to ministers in the service of their Lord and Master, and on committees of our Yearly and subordinate meetings, and also filled with usefulness many important stations in our Society. Especially as an elder he was considered a father in Israel. His house and heart were open to receive his friends, and very many have partaken, under his roof, of his kindness and hospitality. In early life he was closely united in spirit with those who had become uneasy with the holding of slaves by Friends; and was one of the faithful laborers, in that day, in promoting emancipation. After Friends had liberated their slaves, he, with others, felt a concern to remunerate those who had labored for their former owners after the age for which white children were usually bound.

After this was accomplished in Westbury Monthly Meeting (from which Jericho Monthly Meeting had not then been set off), some concerned Friends formed an association called the *' Charity Society,** which is still in operation, and a fund was raised, the interest of which was used, and still is, for the schooling of colored children. I well remember hearing my father speak of the satisfaction these labors yielded to his mind, believing that Friends had done all that the principles of justice and mercy required of them in this particular.

In his serious reflections on the probable result to the African race amongst us, it settled on his mind as a truth that if white people dealt justly by them, and they themselves improved the privileges liberty gave them, they would become useful citizens ; but if they were idle and dissipated in their habits, they would dwindle and be removed out of the way — which, in some instances, he lived to see verified. During the remainder of his life, until his mind was impaired by paralysis, he was concerned and careful to avoid using the produce of slave labor — thus bearing a faithful and consistent testimony against this great and crying evil.

But we see, notwithstanding, exemplified in his life and experience, that good works, though indispensable to the Christian, and which were in him the fruits of the Spirit, are not of themselves sufficient to effect the soul's salvation. In a time of close trial he did not rely upon these, but upon the mercy and goodness of God for admittance into the Kingdom of Heaven. At one time he said, '* I have thought much of the expression in a letter of Elias Hicks to Hugh Judge, that if we are saved at last it is ^ through unmerited mercy ; ' a great and good saying." This he expressed during a short illness in 183 1, in the eightyeighth year of his age.

Under a heavy weight of exercise of mind, at a. time when his recovery seemed doubtful, he said, *^ It is a great thing at such a time as this to feel fully approved in the Divine Sight. Many men pass along pretty well ; but we are so prone to evil — so much for the world and the things thereof — which are of little value compared with that which is to come. At such a time as this it will not do, it is not enough ; what are ten thousand worlds compared with the salvation of the immortal soul ! '* He soon after added, ^* It is an awful thing to die.'' In reply it was said to him, that we apprehended he was ready, and saw nothing in his way. He answered, ** I do not feel that full assurance that I would wish." It was remarked to him that the Divine Master had to say when near the close, " Why hast thou forsaken me ? '' On being reminded of his great faithfulness in doing that which he believed to be right, he replied, '* Yes, mainly — but I was called to the ministry about fifty years ago. The cross was so great that I gave up but a few times, for which I felt great peace ; but the fear of man prevailed, so that I did not give up fully, and thus I lost my reward and my strength, and suffered great distress of mind. I now feel poor and dry, and good for nothing ;