Domestic service

Front matter

A book that illuminates the other side of the “ servant problem.”

DOMESTIC

SERVICE

Preface

Countless servants have figured in works of fiction, and it is often the character of the servant that lives in our memories when the rest of the characters h.ve faded away.

The relationship of master and man is one of the most appealing in fact as well as in fiction. Nothing of our childhood remains with us more vividly than the memory of the devotion shown to us by servants.

An officer, fighting in France — a member of a well-known and distinguished family — wrote home the day before he was killed, and sent

his love to dear oldM - , B - ■, G - , and

W - ; butler, groom, gardener, house-keeper,

all friends of his childhood. As they had been with him then, so were they with him now— at his death*— in spirit.

To him his home-coming had meant seeing them all again as part of his beloved home.

*

6 PREFACE

To them his death meant that the place could never again be the same, and through the short evenings of their lives it will be of that most gallant gentleman they will talk, and of that wonderful home-coming that never came.

That side of the picture has been shown over and over again.

The other side of the picture is now, we believe, presented to us for the first time in Domestic Service, a most moving and faithful record of a life devoted to the service of others.

The single-mindedness of the writer ; her appreciation of kindness ; her devotion to duty ; her grateful indebtedness to the “ Domes¬ tic Servants’ Benevolent Institution,” which stood by her through all her years of service, are revealed in words that will live because of their truth and sincerity.

And of the many who will read her book the mistresses must say, “ I wish I had been her mistress,” and the servants must say, “ I will try to be like her.”

M. C. E. W.

Introduction

This book is- written by an old servant who must speak of Domestic Service as it has been to her fifty-two years of her life. It matters very little if it is dry reading, and of no interest to a certain class of people, if only it is read and of some use to the young girls who would be leaving school to start life in the same way. And it is the earnest wish that good situations, year after year, will turn up for good deserving servants, so that all may work together in unity and for the good of all mankind. And will all readers remember that the old servant left school at the age of ten to work for herself in 1862.

Your obedient servant,

M. S.

First of all we must admit that we do not honour nor appreciate our good parents as we ought to. It must be very difficult to be good parents, as the children’s dispositions are so very different, and we can see this better as we get older. And we have seen good parents in every station in life. The domestic servant can speak of her good parents, and it is a very good thing we know to remember the commandment with the promise, as their good advice helps us along very often, specially when we are away and just beginning to see a little of the world. We have also seen bad parents in every station in life, and can feel heart sorry for their chil¬ dren ; and we have seen them most lovable and gentle, - although brought up in rough homes. We have not met with very many

orphans as domestic servants, and we fear that in the future, specially after this distressing war, that there will be many orphan girls. When we think of all this, surely we must value our parents and our homes more than we have ever done, for what a blessing that alone is to us. And when the girls have the thoughtful mother that has learned her to work, she can almost do her little bit before ever she goes to domestic service. Some mothers have work planned for each girl to do for her as soon as they arrive home from school.

It is such a mistake, and mothers regret it always in after years, if they cannot help her at all when she is older and not so able to do so much.

Work is another great blessing, and it has been wisely arranged by our Divine Master that all His creatures should have a work to do of some kind. Some are weak and some are strong. Old and young, rich and poor, there is that work expected from us, and; how much happier we are when we are at our work.

We have often noticed the school children, and heard them telling each other what they mean to be when they grow big. One boy is

DOMESTIC SERVICE n

to be a doctor, another a sailor or a soldier, while one wants to be a farmer. The same story is heard amongst the girls : one is to be a cook, another a nurse, and so on, and some will end the story by saying that her mother knows best what to put her to do. Now this shows us older people that there is the some¬ thing even in the young children that tells them that they have to work, and are we not very stupid indeed when we will not try to do our best to help them to make a start. There are so many things to learn, so many different kinds of work that must be done to make the world go on right. And some work is easier than others ; but all ought to be well done, and in a cheerful, contented manner. Some prefer working with hands and feet ; they say it is easier than the head work ; but surely both are heavy work, for it does depend on your ability.

Boys and girls do not leave school so early as they did fifty or sixty years ago. The boys went out quite happy and manly to do their herding at some farm, and would be very useful for some years till they preferred learning some trade, etc. ; then ia younger boy just filled his place ; and by doing this they did learn farming a good bit, and this helped them on in after years if they wanted to go back to farming again. We regret to see that the page-boy is not wanted so much as he used to be : and what a help that used to be for a young boy. He learns a great deal by being first of all a while in the stable-yard or garage before he goes into the gentleman's house, and he is neat and tidy at all times for messages. We have seen many of them in our young days, and even the waif has been picked up by a good mas¬ ter and began in the stables and worked his way up to be a respected valet in the same house¬ hold, and often and often told the story of his waif life in the servants' hall.

The writer began domestic service at the age of ten, and at a small croft. Her master was house-carpenter in the same family where her father was gardener, and her mistress could learn a young girl to be very clean and tidy, just as she had learned at home ; but she was very green for a good while, but by-and-by she could help her mistress with anything, and so was of some use to her after a bit. Her wages were one pound a year, and that was encouragement to her. She got her first ten shillings when there the six months, and even now it is like a dream, for she remembers run¬ ning home with the money and giving it as a present to her mother ; she did not think what her parents had paid for her for boots alone that six months, we only know that her earnings did not pay the shoemaker. Boots were dear at that time, but they lasted a good while. She always left home in tears, and began ser¬ vice very down-hearted and homesick. We can pity any one like that, for naturally they cannot help it ; it would be well for such if they could be more hardy at parting.

The parting has always been the same for her all her life, although she was told that she could master that if she tried. Well, the years pass on and she goes as nurse to two farms, but do not stay long at either, and she was a while in the poultry-yard at home. Wages was rising and she was also learning, and when the short winter days came she was not wanted after dark at this poultry-yard, so the extra hours had to be put in at the granite mansion in the scullery on her way home — it is wonder¬ ful how she learns there. All the girls had helped to teach her, and the English cook was spotlessly clean, a sharp but good kind soul, and one who was a life-long friend to all the gardener’s girls ; her memory is still dear to them and her clean ways in the kitchen we cannot forget. She had leave to give away the pieces of broken meat or bread, etc., and her way was to gather all the clean and put it into a jar with a lid ; other pieces were good, but soiled with gravy — this she gave away to the first beggar at the door, but it had to be clean. The letter woman and the fish woman and another woman who did footmen’s washing — a widow — they all had many nice pieces, and there was often broth made for poor people. Some came four miles or more for this weekly broth. Amongst the first of her work in ser¬ vice was making bread-crumbs, standing on a stool in this same kitchen when quite a little girl, going a message, which she often did before she was sent out to her first situation, the Croft.

The ways of the granite house could never be forgotten, for no waste was ever allowed, and somehow the girls did attend to what was said to them, and we often saw them out, and we were brought up to respect them ; and some of the highest and best of the nobility would be seen in the north beside us, specially in the summer-time or at the shooting. The writer learned a great deal in the mansion at home. The ladies and housekeeper were so careful of all the pieces of valuable old linen, chintz, curtains and carpets, and they came in so useful for poor people, and they were renewed every year, and the old was good and lasted a long time in a poor home. We can remember, too, when the older ladies left and a new mistress came, one who was more beloved than ever. It was then the poultry-yard was started, and the writer did learn a great deal — and we were fortunate with the white fowls, geese, guinea fowls, etc., and reared a good many every year. It is well to learn all we can in every department, for it comes useful to you if ever you are an housekeeper.

The servants' bedrooms were always nice, as the curtains, bed-covers, valances, etc., were i6 made of new patchwork and with good lining and fringe to match. This work was done by the housekeeper and girls in the winter months, and they lasted a long time, as they were well done. Of course the laundry-maids were there, and also a dairymaid all the year round, and there was a lot of work to do. We do not think that ever there could be better days in service again, and we have often said that were we young and could go back we would gladly serve the same lady and gentleman again, for each did their own in a very simple but methodical way and no fuss. The orders were well given and carefully obeyed, but all servants are not the same, and now we go further away.

Before going away the writer is sent to the Episcopal School, but only for a short time. A good situation is open, and she is wanted to fill it. This is very disappointing as she wants to stay at school, but the gardener prefers service for his girls ; but if the place is not suitable she may come back to school. But that was not to be, and the situation was one of the best in the land, and she remained there a long time. The work was hard for one so young, but she was treated like one of the family, and was very often out with them. The dear old master must still be remembered by many, for he was a widower and was kind to all. The old servant likes to tell the story about the Scotch broth that she was told to make for the second dinner, the master being fond of this broth ; but she forgot to put in her barley, and it was not found out till the last minute, so there was such a commotion. What could be done ? The young ladies never scolded, but they were in tears, and so had to tell their father, who said, “ Oh, don’t trouble about that ; she can’t help it now. Tell her to make it curry soup.” This was done, and with some nice rice which was ready the great trouble was soon over and the good master enjoyed his dinner. Kind messages were sent to the young cook, and we do not hear that she forgot her barley again.

We believe that if our employers used kind words instead of the bluster and scolding remarks, surely the servant would feel it more, and so notice her work better, for we have

B heard of some severe punishments some have had for a mere trifle, and surely a servant is upset enough, and if she is worth the name of a servant she will not repeat mistakes every day. Our master lived a beautiful life and took great interest in us girls, and made us read at family worship and gave us many a good advice and never forgot to pray for his servants ; and when his last day on earth came he had a peaceful end. Strange to say, he read the 39th Psalm that morning — one of our Burial Service Psalms — and went out to speak to some invalids at an asylum where he sometimes went, and sat down in a chair in the office and expired. He was taken home at ten o’clock, and he only went out at nine, so we shed the bitter tear ; but he was one of the best of men, and left behind him one of the love¬ liest characters and examples we could ever see.

And now we turn away to another larger house with plenty of work to do, but more servants, a season place only, but we were very bright and peaceful fellow-servants. We find it rather a difficult job to please our employers, for we were strange, but after a bit we got on better ; they had a sharp way of speaking to us, and so we did not think we could serve them. The housekeeper and head housemaid were old servants and very nice, and they told us to cheer up and we would like the family better, and so we did ; for we all had an illness, and it was supposed that the water was bad, and two doctors were called in and our lady who used to speak sharp to us was seen in tears. However, as time went on we all got better, and we often drove with them in the large bus to Church, and we were sorry to leave them when the season was up and they were going abroad, so you see the faults are often our own when we begin to judge our fellow-men too often or too soon.

Our young master came of age, and we had some very large parties. The chef and all the menservants and housekeeper and ladies’-maids, and the other servants had to practise dancing every night, as we all had to be present at the servants’ ball that was on the third night. The first was the gentry’s ball, then the tenants’ ball, and ours last ; so most of us were tired, but we had a very nice time and we found the family as jolly at our party as they were at the first two. Our lady sent the maids to dress us and gave us laces and ribbons and also gloves, etc., so that we were all well dressed for the occasion, and one of the laundry-maids did not care to join us and our lady missed her and asked for her. So you see, after all, she was a better mistress than we thought ; and when the time came for us to leave we were told by our housekeeper that her ladyship had written for us, so that we might all get good places ; and we were each presented with a new dress, and we were very sorry to part with the servants, for we had been nine months there and were happy.

The writer while there was three times almost killed on the railway ; we would walk on the line and we would not see danger. Of course we had few trains, but we had engines ; and once the engine had no chance to whistle and so was only a short space away ; it was a care¬ less way, but we did it because it took us home sooner. We would not be allowed to do the same again, and we wonder at our stupid heed¬ less ways when we are young.

Very little more can be written about this family, only that we hear of all their troubles and can feel for them, knowing them so well when they were young, and we are in touch with one of the old servants yet. The master and mistress have gone to their rest some time ago. But families do not know where the old servant may see them twenty or thirty years after. But some may say that they do not care what does become of you after they are done with you. This may be true of some, but why have we such cruel remarks to make, and even if we are right about a few we are wrong in raising up such unkind ideas of many others, for they do take an interest in the ser¬ vants who are a long time beside them, and many an employer is much upset by having new servants beside invalids or with their children.

We will now move on to another large house, and there, too, we have the same old story, for we were in a good situation again ; and there we had eight or ten children, and we look back with affection, for some of the dear ones are in the early grave long ago, and yet we can remember the nursery and schoolroom well, for many a nice homely romp the old servant had. The wet days had to be idle days for us, for we had to play at hide and seek, and work had to be done too, but it was no use trying to push the children on one side ; if they wanted us we had to go, and of course we had to work up for the hour we were behind so long as it was known why we were late — but another servant would attend to any special duty for you. We have found young girls very good in this way, and would run to look if you had been at your post, specially if they had seen you go out, and one would ask the other if they had seen you come in. Of course we cannot say that all the servants are kind alike, but the writer could count up all the bad fellow-servants she has ever had ; but it depends a lot on the class that you live with. We cannot feel at home amongst a certain class, and we have left situa¬ tions where unruly upper servants get too much their own way ; some may be very good servants for the family and for the house, and yet abuse the under maids. We can look back on one or two who would not let you out, not even to buy boots or other necessaries, and when you asked leave of absence the answer was, "No, no,” and a rush is made to give you something to do ; and in those days there was not the fortnight’s holidays that the girls get now.

The old servant has seen many changes 9 and in many cases prefers the good old ways ; there may be some better arrangements made, we cannot doubt that, but we are surprised at good old practices that our late beloved em¬ ployers had, ignored by their own children after they have so far grown up. Servants need the good example from their superiors, and when they hear the world speak well of them they do look for the good ways in the home life. We all like to hold up an employer’s good name, surely we do if we are interested at all in our work, and if we feel that we cannot do our duty to them we ought to go elsewhere and not deceive them. We are trusted with a very great deal, and it is well for us if we are doing all we can as faithful servants, and in the end lay down our tools with the feeling that we have tried to do 'our best.

Now we often say that we do our best, and when we don’t please we are apt to be very disheartened ; we look too much for man’s praise ; if we could only try and see our failings and pick them out for ourselves we are sure that we should have little to say about our best, and call ourselves, after all, the unprofitable servants. There is danger in being too vain, and thinking we are far better than our neigh¬ bour : we are a better servant, we are a better cook, we can do our work quicker. So-and-so is very slow, and many other faults that we can see, and we may be quite right ; but what is good in them may not be in us at all. It is so difficult to live as we ought to live, and when we begin to be upper servants we need to show the younger servants the better example.

When in large houses we have often felt sorry for a new-comer, specially an under maid-servant — she comes quite the stranger, all eyes are on her, and if she arrives at meal-time all must see her and pass their opinion, and when she has been there a week or two she may be a favourite, and they all tell her what their first impressions were — some would be right and some very far wrong. We know a cook who took a great dislike to a new girl as soon as she was told that she was Scotch. She was a fine old body, an Irishwoman ; she was an old servant there, and had a Scotch kitchenmaid who had been very rude to her at some time, so she thought Scotch girls were all alike, and so she was very stiff and not very friendly with her for more than a year. After that time she was not very well, for she was old, and this girl would do little things for her, specially carrying anything upstairs ; and by-and-by she told her why she had felt so cold toward her, and she was very sorry that she had been so, and for so long, and then added, “ For you have been as kind as any daughter to me.” They were the only two servants left in the London house one Sunday after¬ noon, and the poor old body felt giddy and fell on the kitchen floor ; but the Scotch girl was with her and did what she could to make her comfortable on the floor. There were three ladies in the house and one was ill ; her bell rang and the girl ran to answer it. The front door bell rang, but she must go to the invalid lady first and attend to her for a minute. By this time the front door bell had rung three times ; and when she answered it the visitors were not very well pleased, nor were the other two ladies, but the girl said nothing when remarks were made.

By-and-by the other servants came in and advised that the doctor should be sent for, but the old cook said, “ Wait till the morning, as if her ladyship sees him coming in it will upset her,” and she was very old ; so we were all quiet till Monday, when we got in the doctor, and we had to tell the aged mistress, and the poor old servant had to go away for good. It was a sight to see the parting of the two ; we cannot tell who felt it most, and we all missed the cook, who had been there so long, for she was likeable and tried to make us comfortable — and in less than two years two ladies died in that house. One lady asked if cook was ill when the bells rang, and all were glad that she was not left, and said that she had done wisely by not telling why she did not answer the bells at once ; so we know that ladies do care for old servants.

But we had far more trouble to face after, for one lady had in two nurses. The illness could not have been any worse we say, for it was a most painful case, and we all had extra work to do, and the house had to be kept very quiet. These ladies were so good to us young girls, and a whole book could be easily written were we to tell all we can remember. All the upper servants were old, and the coachman, horses, and carriage were very old. We are told that one of the servants is alive yet, and is over ninety years of age, and likely would not remember the writer of this book.

While in this family we were very often out sight-seeing, and Hyde Park was one of our favourite places ; we were sure to see some one we knew, some one’s carriage and nice horses ; and ? when we saw our own, or if our ladies saw us, we heard of it when we came in. We enjoyed going out for the short time.

After much suffering this lady died, and her death has left a lasting impression. The ser¬ vants had to sing to her, and we found that a very trying duty to do when you are asked to do it. We will ever remember singing, All hail the power of Jesu’s Name ” and “For ever with the Lord.” The nurses and us girls were often in tears going out and into her room, and once she told the writer that she must not cry for her, as she was only thankful that this illness had been sent, for it had made her think of the Good Shepherd, but for that she would never have come to Him. Her dying advice is dear to us still, and we trust to meet her again by-and-by. As we write about dear ladies we have lost for thirty years and more the sweet memories rise, and we feel that we are with them again. Her housemaid was nick¬ named “ Mousie,” as she often lighted her fire, and did it while she was asleep ; this she con¬ sidered so clever, and at night she wanted to say good night to her (Mousie), and by the time she came she would be too ill to speak to her, so nurse was told to lay the servant’s hand on her’s — so it had to be done.

Time passes on, and death takes her away home. We would like to mention more, but her aged aunt died very soon after, and all the servants had to say good-bye. Our mistress kissed our hand and thanked us for all we had done for her, and we had to watch her in turns to relieve the ladies and nurses, so the writer was hid at the bedside, a slit being made in the bed-curtain so that she might be there and yet not seen, and if her ladyship wanted any one, she could see and at once fetch assistance. She wanted at times to be alone, and we all knew what that meant, for she always remem¬ bered her devotions ; and you may guess how the writer felt when she heard her name called out and a good long prayer for her. Surely that would melt the hardest heart there is, to hear your dying mistress pleading for you ; who could not love her and every member of her family ? We went and saw her also laid in the tomb, and we were in tears all the way home, as we had to look for other situations. We have had so much of this, and strange to say the old coachman died a few minutes after her ladyship. The good-bye a short time before was followed by a shock. We saw the dying and good old coachman ; he was so fond of his horses.