Diary of a refugee

Front matter

UNIVERSITY OF

NORTH CAROLINA

ENDOWED BY THE

Introduction

IT was while I was spending the summer in Virginia, where I had gone in search of quiet and rest, after my extensive tour through the country, that I saw in one of the papers an appeal from a Historical Society, to those who had any real data in regard to the Civil War to publish it, as so many who were connected with the war on both sides were rapidly dying off.

I remembered a diary kept during the war by a member of my family, who was a woman of rare qualities of brain, and heart, with an unusually just mind. I felt sure that anything written by her would be so liberal and fair that it could not fail but prove interesting reading, for the people of both the North and the South. From what she had told me, and remembering as a child many things myself, I am able to fill in the gaps when necessary.

While preparing vthe Diary for publica-

vii viii INTRODUCTION

tion, I saw the possibility of making an interesting drama from it, so I have dramatized it, giving the play as title the famous words of General Grant, " Let us have peace." I have also obtained permission of General Frederick Grant to have his father, General U. S. Grant, impersonated on the stage.

Several years ago I read a book called " Ground Arms," by an Austrian noblewoman, which made a strong impression upon me, for it was written with great power and ability, and was an eloquent protest against the evils of war.

If either " The Diary of a Refugee " or the play can in any way convey the horrors of war to the public and make them feel as I do in regard to the terrible suffering and misery which it entails upon so many innocent people, then indeed I shall feel that my work has not been in vain. This is the spirit that has prompted me to edit the Diary and to dramatize it. I hope the public, on reading the book and seeing the play, will take my representation of Southern life as a true one, and after following the family through their trials and troubles, will understand with what

INTRODUCTION ix

great sincerity and thankfulness they echo General Grant's famous words, " Let us have peace."

It is with great pleasure that I give a letter received from Admiral Dewey expressing his approval of the description given in the " Diary of a Refugee " of the battle of Port Hudson, as the Admiral was on the " Mississippi " at the time.

OFFICE OF

ADMIRAL OF THE NAVY,

WASHINGTON.

April 1£, 1910.

My dear Mrs. Fearn:

I have read the extract from your mother's diary with the greatest interest. I would suggest that you publish it just as she saw it at the time, and it will form a very interesting history of that part of the Civil War.

With sincere regards,

Faithfully yours,

George Dewey.

This was in answer to a letter that I wrote asking him if he could suggest any changes or additions to the account of the battle given in the Diary.

Frances Fearn.

CRESCENT PLANTATION, BAYOU LAFOURCHE, LA.,

Saturday.

With a sad heart and a feeling of great depression I went on my usual round of visits to-day. First to the negroes' hospital, then to see the young mothers who have recently been confined; afterwards to the children's ward, where they are kept during the day under the care of an old mammy, while their mothers are at work in the fields. These and many other daily duties incumbent upon the mistress of a plantation, leave one few spare hours.

I found the inmates of the hospital awaiting me with great impatience and eagerness, but I fear they missed my usual cheerfulness in spite of the effort I made to bring all the cheer and comfort I could to the poor suffering ones. It was impossible not to feel the foreshadowing of the evil days that must inevitably come to us with the fall of New Orleans.

One of my greatest pleasures is in distributing the delicacies from our own table to the invalids. As coming from the master's table they are greatly appreciated.

To-day, as I sat and talked with the different ones, I must have shown in my face or manner the great anxiety that I was feeling, and perhaps I was a little more tender over them than usual, for they looked up into my face, and one said, " Ole missus, what is ailin' yo'? Yo' ain't never looked so sad befo'." My usual gayety and light-heartedness must indeed have left me; how could it be otherwise, feeling as I do the sense of coming danger? With the fall of New Orleans in the course of a short time we must leave our dear old home, and what will then become of the hospital and its inmates? This is my special work; I organized it and have carried it on under the direction of our excellent family physician, who attends and cares for the slaves as well as for the family. We have had some of the more intelligent negro women trained and taught to be nurses, for they make very good ones. Apart from any illness that the slaves are subject to, we often have accidents of a more or less serious nature, which must inevitably be the case where there is such a great variety of work. The plantation is really like a village, with its carpenter and blacksmith shops, its brick masons, and other trades, in which many of them show great skill and ability.

As it is Saturday, the day on which the women and children come to me for any clothes that they may need, I have had great pleasure in giving out to many of them the things that they ask for; of my many duties the one I enjoy most is the privilege my husband gives me of distributing the clothes to the women and children. The materials are bought in large quantities at wholesale prices. A certain number of seamstresses are detailed to make them up into all kinds of necessary garments for the men and women and children. After they are made, they are put in sets and kept in a large room, used only for that purpose. Each person is allowed a certain number of every necessary article of clothing. I am always pleased when I can reward a young woman, girl, or child for good conduct by giving an extra pretty dress, handkerchief, or perhaps a string of bright beads, as the latter is greatly prized.

When the crops have been good, my husband distributes a sum of money to the negroes in proportion to the extra amount of work that they have done during the grinding season. It is the occasion for great rejoicing and gayety. Everyone puts on their best clothes and a general feeling of good humor prevails. The gallery is gayly decorated where my husband sits at the table on which is placed the gold coin, and as each negro comes up in line, their name is called by the overseer and they receive the amount due to them according to the work that they have done and their good conduct during the year. The women and children are included. The young mothers receive a present for their babies and it is not an unusual occurrence for a mother to borrow an extra baby to present, so as to receive an additional present! When found out, this creates no end of joking and amusement. We all know it is sometimes difficult for white mothers to recognize their own offspring, but how much more difficult must it be for a man to know the difference between two black babies. Poor James is often fooled! It makes a picturesque scene, with the decorations of the gallery, the mixture of gay colors, the costumes of the negroes, and the vivid greens and bright tropical coloring of plants and flowers in the garden that surrounds the house.

The distribution of this money takes place immediately after the sugar is made. When the grinding season is over a week's holiday follows, during which the negroes, with great joy, prepare for the ball that is given at the end of the week. The negro women are allowed to go in the wagons used for hauling the cane to Donalds ville, the nearest village, where they are given the great pleasure of spending their money on the necessary adornment for the hall. Their great ambition is to be able to disappear from the ballroom several times during the evening, and to reappear with some startling addition to their toilets, thereby exciting the envy of the others. We all take the greatest pride and pleasure in decorating the ballroom with wreaths of evergreen, flags, etc., and my husband gives them carte blanche for their supper as regards the killing of chickens and making of cakes, ice creams, and sweets of all kinds, for which they have a great weakness. The ball is opened by members of the family dancing the first set of Lancers. After that the floor is given up to the negroes, who enter into the enjoyment most heartily. Any stranger looking in upon this scene would not believe that they were slaves. But why should they not be light-hearted? They have no responsibilities, they are well cared for, and clothed and fed? If the war ends unsuccessfully for us, will they, with their freedom, remain thus?

The night of the ball was clear and beautiful, the full moon bringing out all objects with a distinctness more vivid even than by day. The house and surrounding grounds were deserted, all having gone to the ball. My husband had been detained, so we were the last to leave the house. The road to the low building where the ball was going on was through a long avenue of overarching trees. Not a sound was to be heard or a moving object in sight, when suddenly there appeared in the path before us, as though coming up from the ground, a big negro, who held in his hand one of the large formidable knives used for cutting the cane. ' It glistened in the moonlight as he advanced threateningly towards my husband. He is the one vicious and really bad negro on the plantation. Being very lazy he had run off three months before, so as to avoid the hard work necessary for all hands during the grinding season.

My husband's influence over the slaves is very great, while they never question his authority, and are ever ready to obey him implicitly, they love him! It was only necessary for him to command this negro to put down his knife, for the darkey to fall at my husband's feet and beg for forgiveness. The negro's reason for returning at this time was in order to go to the ball. He said, " Ole massa, do what yo' will with me, only le' me go to the ball to-night!" My husband gave his permission, but said, " I'll not punish you, as you will receive your punishment at the hands of those whom you left to do your share of the work."

It was a terrible scene when he entered the ballroom. His fellow-slaves fell upon him, and it was with great difficulty that he was finally rescued after a severe beating at their hands and being put out of the ballroom. It is a curious fact that the good workers have no sympathy for those who run off and shirk their duty.

Sunday night.

The service that we had to-day in our little church on the plantation seemed to me unusually touching and pathetic. As I watched the faces of the slaves who were so unconscious of any impending evil in their lives, I felt instinctively that it was the last service that we should have together.

This church was huilt by my husband for the benefit of the slaves. Our dear pastor is from the North, he is very talented and a most excellent man. Curiously enough, he came South full of bitterness against all slave-owners. To his great astonishment, my husband, on first meeting him, employed him at a salary of five thousand dollars a year to take care of the religious education and training of the negroes. He accepted, feeling he had found a field for great missionary work; but not so much in regard to the negroes as to what he hoped to be able to accomplish with the wicked, benighted Southern slave-owners! He came fully prepared to preach a crusade against us, but he has succeeded in making us all love him, and I have every reason to believe that he has changed his opinions in many respects regarding us.

Our plantation life has been a revelation to him, so different is it from what he expected. His influence over the slaves has been wonderfully good. He has educated one of the more intelligent men to become a preacher, and we go often to hear him when he preaches at the evening services. It is extraordinary what remarkable musical talent many of the negroes have, and also very sweet voices, so that the singing in church is really unusually good.

Monday.

Another anxious day! The steamboats "Mary Tee" and "The Lafourche," chartered by my husband, are being loaded with sugar. The fires are kept up day and night ready to start as soon as the dreaded news reaches us that the Federal gunboats have passed the forts. The conduct of the negroes, and their evident desire to show their sympathy and readiness to aid us in every way in these trying times, is very touching. The more so as they know that the arrival of the Federals will mean their freedom.

Wednesday.

We were aroused in the middle of the night by the arrival of Richard. He had ridden for twenty-four hours, only stopping to change horses; as he brought us the fatal and dread tidings that New Orleans was in the possession of the enemy. We were a sad little group that gathered around the breakfast table, each one trying to cheer the other with the hope that our fate may not in reality be as dreadful as we anticipated.

This beautiful spring morning, the season of the year when the dear old place is at its best with a great abundance of roses of many varieties, none more lovely in the richness of its color than the " Cloth of Gold " ; these with the greatest profusion of climbing roses that cover the pillars of the galleries, the fences, and run riot everywhere with a dark background of all the rich greens of the tropical plants, make a lovely scene, such as one is loath to leave. Never did the old typical Southern home, in its simplicity and comfort, seem so attractive, with the large rooms, high ceilings, and all that tends to make a home beautiful and comfortable, filled with interesting souvenirs of the many places that we have visited in our extensive travels. The most insignificant article seems to have a special value, and as I look upon it all, I feel instinctively that I shall never see it again.

Although I am a Virginian by birth and have lived all my life in the South and West, I have never approved of slavery. It has been one of the greatest sorrows and trials of my life that my husband should own so many slaves, both in Louisiana and Kentucky. This has made me feel the great responsibility resting upon us in the care of them, and I am thankful to say my husband has shared it with me, and always been willing and anxious to mitigate their condition as much as possible, by being kind, considerate, and just in his treatment of them. Their appreciation of what he has done for them has been clearly shown in their love and devotion to him and to each member of the family.

Last year, on an occasion when my husband had to leave us for many days, and there was no white person living within several miles of the house, before going he called the negroes around him and told them that he was going off to be absent some time, and to their care and protection he entrusted their mistress and his child. He felt that they would allow nothing to harm his loved ones during his absence. The night after he left was a beautiful, clear moonlight night. The house is entirely surrounded by a wide balcony on which all the front rooms open with French windows. In the middle of the night I heard an unusual sound and got up to ascertain the cause of it. As I opened my door I saw innumerable figures rise up in the moonlight, and a chorus of voices called out, " Don't be afraid, ole missus, we are just here guarding you and the child for ole massa." I went back to bed feeling that we were safe in their keeping, but I lay awake many hours wondering what freedom would do for these child-like people. Would they be improved by it, or would they lapse back into a savage condition when the firm and guiding hand of the master was taken from them?

My son's news of the fall of New Orleans was confirmed while we were at breakfast by a man on horseback, riding rapidly down the Bayou road, calling out as he went by, " The Yankees are coming! " It was the signal for us to gather up the things we most valued of our belongings and to go on board " The Lafourche," which was waiting with steam up in the Bayou, fronting the house, to carry us off.

It was a sad little group that left the dear old home. We were so overcome with sorrow and terror as to our future fate that we gave no thought of what we were taking with us. The negroes were far more thoughtful for us ; one picked up my husband's favorite sofa, another his chair, one even went so far as to sweep the silver on the breakfast table into a handy clothes-basket and carry it on board.

hH *

Indeed, we had great cause afterwards to be very thankful to them for their forethought in the provision that they made for our comfort and for the supplies that they put on board ; the latter were sadly needed before our journey was over.

My heart was torn at the separation from my son Richard, who had returned to join his company. We Southern women need all our strength and courage to give up our sons and loved ones, our homes are taken from us, and we must become refugees!

My husband has been able to put on board the steamboat about one-half of this year's crop of sugar. The plantation is only three miles from Donaldsville, at the mouth of the Bayou Lafourche. When we entered the Mississippi River, it had become a seething mass of craft of all kinds and description that could be made into possible conveyances to carry away the terror-stricken people who were flying from their homes with their loved ones and treasures, all making a mad rush for the mouth of Red River.

We who had lived on the plantation, with the greatest abundance of food and supplies of all kinds, have not felt the effects of the war, but now that we are refugees and in a part of the country that has been drained of much that it produced, and the white laboring man has joined the army, leaving the fields but scantily cultivated, we begin to feel the want of food. Our party consists of seven in the family and eighteen servants, and the officers and crew of the steamboat, making many mouths to feed; frequently we are not allowed to land if there are few provisions in the place, and are met at the wharf by men with shotguns, who not politely, but very forcibly, request us to move on, and it is not an unusual thing for us to have nothing but sweet potatoes and corn bread to eat for days at a time.

After months on board the steamboat, with bad water as well as a lack of proper food, we are all beginning to feel the effects, so that my husband has decided to go to Alexandria for the winter.

II Alexandria, August

We arrived here none too soon as two of the family have typhoid fever, my daughter and niece. It would be impossible to tell of all the kindness and hospitality that we have received at the hands of these dear kind people. Dr. Davidson, not only a very skilled and remarkable physician, but loved by all who know him, is a most generous man, giving us much that cannot be bought for any amount of money. These are times when the possession of money means nothing, for there is nothing to buy with it. All the more one appreciates the kind generous hearts who are willing to share with others less fortunate than themselves whatever they may possess in the way of provisions.

A month later.

Now that my invalids are convalescent, my

husband has rented a hotel which was once a

n favorite summer resort, twenty-five miles from Alexandria, in a pine forest, where there is also a very good spring of mineral water, which is supposed to be a good tonic suitable for strengthening our poor invalids.

Pine Forest.

What a remarkable place! The hotel which could accommodate two or three hundred people, has been abandoned and left to go to ruin. The furniture has been taken away, only a few beds remain with cornshuck mattresses, and chairs, the seats of which are made of cowhide. It presented a forlorn appearance as we drove up. I must say that my heart sank at the prospect of making a home here. It seemed so hopeless.

Tuesday.

Yesterday I drove for twenty miles with Jack in the wagon drawn by four horses, carrying with me several hundred dollars with which to buy provisions. Imagine my despair and disappointment when I returned at night with one pint bottle of milk, a dozen eggs, a small sack of corn meal, and one chicken to feed twenty hungry mouths! What really saves us from starvation is a beautiful clear stream that runs through this forest. In it are the most delicious freshwater trout, at least they seem so to us. My husband delights in awaking the children in the morning at an early hour with the call, " Get up, girls, fish, or no breakfast." So he would have us all out fishing most seriously for the food of the day. We cook them out of doors (we have no stove) in our only cooking utensil, — a frying-pan. There is also a coffee-pot, which we look at with longing eyes in anticipation of the day when we shall have some coffee made in it, but as yet we have not been able to find any coffee that we could buy.

Ten days later.

Great excitement yesterday. We saw an Indian coming from the forest with a deer on his back. The shout that we sent up must have reminded him forcibly of his tribe when on the war path. He started to run, but there was no escape for him, he was too quickly surrounded by a hungry crowd. The gold pieces that we held out to him very soon changed his fears to amusement and wonder, for he had never seen so much money before. The deer was quickly dropped at our feet, and the money grasped with great eagerness, for he was all anxiety to get away, thinking perhaps that we might regret our bargain. He little knew how hungry we were, and what a feast that deer represented to us. Never did anything taste so good.

We had another piece of good luck. One of the children found a tomato bush in an old, abandoned vegetable garden. These, added to the venison, made indeed a feast fit for the gods in our eyes.

In spite of the lack of food and comforts we are all improved in health, for the pure air of this pine forest and the water have proved such good tonics that our invalids have entirely recovered.

With the approach of winter and the condition of the house being such that it affords no protection against the cold (no glass in the windows and the roof open in many places), my husband has decided to go back to Alexandria for that season. The question of clothes has become a very serious one; it is not that we are concerned as to the latest fashions. Oh, no. It is too serious for that small consideration. I really do not know how we could have got through the winter if we had not had a great piece of good luck. While living on the steamboat, my husband received a letter from the owner of a country store on Bayou Plaquemine, offering to sell him the contents of the store, for what seemed a very large sum of money, if my huswould pay him half of it in sugar and the rest in gold. The Bayou was too narrow for us to go in the steamboat, so we rowed up in small boats, starting at dawn.

It was a day never to be forgotten. The beauty and picturesqueness of the Bayou have been made famous in Longfellow's " Evangeline." In our imagination we passed the very spot where Evangeline was asleep, and Gabriel, her lover, went by not seeing her.

From the realms of poetic imagination we were suddenly brought face to face with the stern realities of life, for we were badly in need of clothes. My husband had no list of the contents of the store, so we were unable to form any idea of what we might find. When we reached it, on opening the door he said, " Now, girls, it is all yours," which was as welcome a sound to us as if he was offering us a gold mine. Just imagine a lot of women without sewing materials of any kind! — no thread, needles, buttons, etc., to say nothing of dress materials — turned loose even in a country store. No words can describe the excitement and exultant exclamations on opening a box to find the very things that we needed most, as we had become very simple in our wants and tastes. There was no question of scorning anything. Oh, no! We were overjoyed when we found about sixty yards of old-fashioned plaid barege, and such mmmmm

EVANGELINE OAK

From a draiving by Rosalie Urquhart a plaid! The size of the squares and odd mixture of colors were very startling, but that made no difference. We rose above such small matters, it meant a dress.

We filled the boat with our newly acquired possessions and returned to the steamer feeling happier and much relieved in our minds, in regard to the replenishing of our wardrobes for the winter. One must see the contents of an American country store to appreciate the great variety and possibilities it affords, as it contains a little of everything.

ALEXANDRIA.

We are now settled for the winter in rather a well-furnished house, and are quite comfortable. I have started the children to school, my daughter and nephew. My husband's sugar is a blessing, not only to us, but throughout this part of the country, as with it he is able to get in exchange much that cannot be bought with money. His great desire is to get together by means of his sugar a supply of provisions for some of our Army posts that are beginning to feel the want of food, owing to the blockade. How the Southern women suffer, thinking of our dear brave young sons, who have been brought up in the greatest luxury and ease, many fighting in the ranks of our Army, enduring the greatest hardships and privations. We know that they are doing it without a murmur and we are proud of their brave and unselfish lives.

ALEXANDRIA, APRIL, 1863.

Shall I ever be able to recall all that I have gone through since I last made an entry in my diary? It seems an eternity, so much have I suffered and such terrible scenes have I witnessed.

When my husband had succeeded in collecting a sufficient quantity of provisions he offered them to the Government for the relief of the garrison at Port Hudson, where my son Richard was stationed. The Government gave him the use of a steamer and the permission to take us with him. He went with the hope of being able to see Richard. The trip down the river was made safely, without any accident worth recording. But on the afternoon of March 14th we felt the signs of excitement, for when we got in sight of Port Hudson it was evident that the Federal gunboats were getting into line for the approaching battle. The Captain felt a hesitation about landing, but we were too anxious to see Richard, so after a consultation we decided to risk it, and most thankful were we for having done so.

Strangely enough the general in command selected Richard (without knowing that we were on the steamer), to bring the order to the Captain telling him not to remain at the landing, but to go around the bend of the river in front of Port Hudson, to await the result of the battle. In case the enemy passed we were to go up the river to Port de Russy. The Captain disobeyed the order to the extent of remaining fifteen minutes, enabling us to have these precious moments with our dear boy. By this time it was dark. The order was for all lights to be put out on the boat. Even blankets were held up in front of the engine fires as we crept around the bend. We had not gone far, however, before the Federal gunboats opened fire upon us, the shells falling fast and thick. Had one of them struck our frail wooden steamer it would have been instantaneous death to all and complete destruction of the steamer.