Commercial correspondence, prepared in the Extension division of the University of Wisconsin

Front matter

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3 1924 013 825 645

Preface

This course in Commercial Correspondence was developed in the University Extension Division for the purpose of giving applied instruction to those engaged in the actual conduct of business. The original notes were brought together for this purpose and to the instruction based upon these notes and their elaboration there was at once such a ready response and such a large demand that the present volume has naturally grown out of half a dozen years of experience in postal and class teaching, on the one hand, and the suggestive contributions of the business experience of many students, on the other.

The course was originally outlined and developed by Mr. Ralph Starr Butler, assisted by some of his colleagues. The work was finally revised for publication with the cooperation of Mr. Henry A. Burd, who also prepared the appendices, A and B. While this text was primarily prepared for adults, and for correspondence-study instruction, it has also been found entirely suitable for the instruction of youths pursuing courses in business or commerce with the purpose of entering commercial careers.

This course has two main purposes:

i. To teach the rules of grammar and rhetoric with particular reference to their application to business English.

2. To teach the best usage regarding the forms of business correspondence, to consider the essential qualities of all effective business letters, and to discuss in detail each of the more important classes of commercial communications.

The chief endeavor is to carry out the purposes included in the second group, but the first is by no means neglected.

vi PREFACE

Business English is effective English. It makes people do things. Every business letter is written with a definite purpose, and to accomplish that purpose it must, first of all, be correctly and clearly expressed. Chapters I and II, together with Appendices A and B, provide a general review of some of the more important principles of written composition. They should be carefully reviewed before beginning the study of the special treatment of business letters.

Students of commercial correspondence, like students of any other subject, must be firmly grounded in general- principles before undertaking the study and practice of specific details. Because they are absolutely fundamental, considerations of ,word selection and of paragraph and sentence structure precede any treatment of the letter as a whole. Parts of speech and punctuation, being matters of grammar with which some degree of familiarity may be taken for granted, are placed in the Appendices. In all these matters, however, Appendices A and B and Chapters I and II should be studied before taking up Chapter III, "The Form of the Letter."

Chapters III to VI treat of the form of a business letter and some of the stereotyped expressions commonly employed, and give instruction in modern methods that place the emphasis upon originality and individuality rather than upon adherence to form and custom. The remainder of the book is devoted to a careful consideration of the various kinds of business letters, their purposes and characteristics, and methods of making them produce the desired effects.

Letters have been fully quoted, in whole or in part, not as "models" to be imitated, but as illustrations of what to do, and what to avoid doing, in effective business letters. The style is designedly intimate and personal, so that the student may feel himself actually to be the person facing the problems discussed and working out their solutions.

Contents

CHAPTER PAGE

I Choice of Words i

II Paragraph and Sentence Structure .... 13

Chapter I Choice Of Words

A written word is the visible representation of a sound, or a combination of sounds, used as a symbol to signify an idea or thought. Most ideas and thoughts, however, cannot be expressed by single words. The words must be grouped into sentences before there can be a satisfactory expression of anything except the most simple ideas. The sentence, and not the word, is probably the typical unit of expression in any language. For this reason the best way to learn how to express thoughts is to study the form of sentences and to put into frequent practice the principles that apply in their construction. A great many of the things that the successful correspondent must know about words have to do with the relation of words to one another; i. e., to the use of words in sentences. There are some important things about thought expression, however, that have little connection with the inter-relation of words and that must be considered apart from the study of sentence construction. The meaning and the effect of any expression are primarily dependent on the significance and effectiveness of the words that are used, and the correspondent who employs written language to secure results must, first of all, give careful consideration to the choice of words.

Value of large vocabulary. — The average individual uses only a comparatively few words in his ordinary conversation — a few hundred at the most — and, when

s he writes a letter, his vocabulary is likely to be even more limited than it is when he is talking. He thinks that he must follow certain time-honored customs in his correspondence, and that he must use the same outworn, stereotyped expressions that are used in the majority of the letters that come to his desk. If he holds this belief, he is wrong. This important matter of individuality in letter-writing and the advisability of avoiding the peculiar modes of expression that have unfortunately become associated with the average man's idea of a business letter will be considered more in detail in later chapters. For the present it is sufficient to bear in mind that a letter is not good just because it is like other letters. To be an effective letter — to convey the exact meaning that the writer wants it to convey — it must avoid the use of words that have been employed so often that they have almost ceased to possess any force whatever; and every word must be selected for its special fitness in expressing exactly the idea the writer has in mind.

Before the phrase "choice of words" can mean much to the correspondent, he must possess a sufficient vocabulary to enable him to choose between two or more possible ways of expressing his thoughts. Ever since there has been any study of language, the student has been constantly urged to increase his vocabulary, and yet many people are content to go through life with no greater command of their mother tongue than they were fortunate enough to acquire as children. The successful correspondent is not in this class. He cannot be content with the vocabulary of the "man in the street." Words are his tools, and he must possess a sufficient stock of them to enable him to express his ideas correctly, clearly, courteously, and concisely.

How to increase one's vocabulary. — A good working

CHOICE OF WORDS 3

vocabulary can be acquired only by conscious effort. This can be done in three ways:

i. By associating with people who use good English.

2. By reading good literature.

3. By using the dictionary.

Our habits of speech are unconsciously formed by the speech that we hear about us. If those with whom we habitually associate use no better English than we do — if their vocabularies are no greater than ours — obviously we cannot learn very much from them, and we are inclined to use only the words and forms of expression that they use. The correspondent who wishes to increase his knowledge of words will take advantage of every opportunity to listen to people whose command of language is greater than his. The average individual can usually acquire a few new words from every sermon or lecture that he hears. Conversation with people whose English is excellent can be productive of additions to any one's vocabulary. It is a good practice to carry a notebook and write down every new word encountered, and every old word used in a new way. The words should then be looked up in the dictionary and constant effort made to use them in speaking and writing in order that they may become real additions to one's working vocabulary.

This suggestion is entirely practicable. Many people have increased their command of language in just this way. It requires simply a conscious effort to seek out the people whose vocabularies are greater than one's own, and the determination to take from them whatever can help to a better knowledge of the English language.

A word of caution at this point — the acquisition of a new word does not mean that the new word is always to be used instead of the old familiar word or group of words one may have used previously to express the same idea. The old word is frequently the better. For example: perhaps there is a correspondent who never happened to think that "domicile" means about the same thing as "house." He hears the former word, looks it up, and finds that the two are practically synonymous. He certainly does not immediately begin to use "domicile" wherever he formerly used "house." In this instance, the old word is almost always the better. But there may come a time when "domicile" will be the one word that will exactly convey the intended meaning, and when that time comes the ability to use just the right word will be worth all the trouble of acquiring it and of storing it away in the memory.

The second method of acquiring a good vocabulary is by reading standard literature. The colloquial English of George Ade is interesting reading, but its perusal will not help the correspondent who is seeking to increase the stock of words that he can safely use in his conservative business letters. Later it will be pointed out that colloquial English — which includes a part of what is generally called slang — has a certain place in commercial correspondence. Nevertheless the ambitious correspondent can scarcely afford to draw his stock of working material from the language of the street. He must go to the books that have stood the test of time and are recognized as examples of standard English. This does not mean that the literary methods of the great novelists and essayists of the past are necessarily those that the modern business man must use to make his letters effective. The consideration here is simply that of the means of acquiring new words — of methods of increasing one's vocabulary; and one of the best ways to learn new words is to go to the books that were written by masters of the English language. These books must

CHOICE OF WORDS 5

be studied, not merely read "for the story." The dictionary must be frequently and constantly consulted. New words must be written down, spoken, used in sentences before they can properly be said to be added to one's vocabulary. This may not be conducive to rapid reading, but it will be exceedingly helpful in acquiring a mastery of words — the tools of the correspondent.

Use the dictionary. Never pass a word by unless its meaning is known. Cultivate the study habit. The average individual manages to express all of his thoughts, after a fashion, by using only a few hundred words. There are hundreds of thousands of words in the language. They are the servants of those persons alone who have studied to master them. There is nothing that will pay such satisfactory dividends to the correspondent as the persistent investigation of the meaning and value of words.

There cannot be too much emphasis on the necessity of an exact knowledge of words. There are many poorly educated people whose retentive memories have stored up a vast number of words which they use with little regard for the meaning or fitness of the words. Such people do not have large vocabularies — they only think they have. It would be ridiculous, of course, for a correspondent to use a word of whose meaning he knew almost nothing. It is almost as bad for him to use a word of whose meaning he is not absolutely sure. A careful study of the exact meaning of the words that comprise his vocabulary will give him the ability to use them properly.

Synonyms. — A synonym is one of two or more words which have nearly the same signification, and which, therefore, may often be used interchangeably. It is an excellent thing to have command of a large stock of synonyms. Their intelligent use permits a pleasing variety of expression. If there is a too conscious striving for synonyms, however, the result will be a labored and affected style. In a letter in which the same word must appear frequently, it is often better to repeat the noun than to try to use a different synonym in each case. Note that synonyms have nearly the same signification. There are very few words in the English language that have exactly the same meaning as any other words. Practically every synonym has a shade of meaning that is peculiar to itself. The successful correspondent is the one who can determine exactly the word that will best serve his purpose. In the following list are shown a few sets of words that are frequently used synonymously. The shades of meaning between the words in each line are sometimes very slight — possibly so slight as not to be worth noticing. In other cases there are marked distinctions that ought always to be considered. The list is interesting as a suggestion of the possibilities of close study of the English language. These words should be carefully studied — preferably a few at a time — with free use of the dictionary. A good dictionary of synonyms is useful in such a study and is almost invaluable to the correspondent who earnestly desires to improve his command of the language. The words should be used in sentences immediately if they are to become a vital part of the student's vocabulary.

Ability, capability, capacity

Address, courtesy, tact

Answer, reply, response, retort

Apparent, clear, evident, obvious

Brief, concise, terse

Caution, discretion, prudence

Confirm, corroborate

CHOICE OF WORDS 7

Continual, continuous

Credible, conceivable, presumable, probable

Damage, disadvantage, injury, prejudice

Gain, profit, increase

Indispensable, necessary

Just, accurate, fair, right, equitable

Liability, debt

Misstatement, error, falsehood

Pay, settle

Probably, presumably

Prominent, conspicuous, important, famous

Protest, dissent, deprecate

Provisional, temporary, conditional

Reasonable, equitable, judicious, right

Satisfy, content, gratify, persuade

Stock, store, materials, merchandise

Tact, skill, wisdom, taste, discrimination

Violation, infraction, refusal, disobedience

Warrant, evidence, order, permit

This list is merely suggestive. The language of commerce is full of words that are used as synonyms. It would be well for the student to compile a list of his own from the letters that come to his notice.

Long vs. short words. — Long words are not necessarily good words. Long words are usually from Latin roots. They have come to us through the Latin and through the old Norman-French. In the old days in England, Latin and Norman-French were the languages of the learned classes and of the nobility. Anglo-Saxon was the language of the common people. The simple Anglo-Saxon words meant much more to the average man than the longer and more elaborate words of Latin origin; and what was true almost a thousand years ago is true to-day as well. The long words that came to us from the Latin are just as good

English as the short words that came to us from the Anglo- Saxon speech. There is something to be considered besides good English,' however. Business English is effective English. It makes people do things. There are a great many good English words that are not effective in business. Long words of Latin origin are usually in this class. "Sell" is a better word than "convey," except perhaps in a formal contract. "Store" has more meaning than "establishment." "Letter" is a much better word than "communication" or "favor." Say "paper" rather than "document"; and, in speaking about a firm or company, use "firm" or "company" instead of "organization." Long words are not always of Latin origin and short words are not always Anglo-Saxon. Speaking generally, however, the short words are always to be preferred. They take less time to write (which perhaps is not an important consideration), and they mean very much more to the great majority of the people.

Above all, avoid the affectation of high-flown language. For plain things use plain words. Generally speaking, it is a safe rule to use the simpler (or shorter) word when a choice is possible.

Denotation and connotation. — Many words have two meanings. One meaning appeals to the intellect, and deals with facts. It is the dictionary meaning of the word. The other meaning appeals to the imagination, and deals with the feelings. It is not found in the dictionary. The first meaning is called the denotation of the word, and the second, its connotation. The dictionary definition of the word "mother" is a coldly analytical statement to the effect that "a mother is a maternal parent," which is entirely correct, appeals to the intellect, and has to do with facts. But when you think of the word, mother, you have something entirely different in mind. You probably think of your own mother and of all her characteristics ; and the simple word is imbued with an indescribable charm, because of the

CHOICE OF WORDS 9

glamor surrounding the mental image that it calls up. The connotation of the word appeals to your imagination, and your feelings are aroused.

But why should the correspondent bother about denotation and connotation? He may be writing a selling letter about Smith's Washing Machine. Now, to the man who reads the letter, the use of that phrase means simply that there is a machine that washes and that is called by the name of its inventor. When the correspondent uses the phrase, however, he probably has in mind a great deal more than that simple statement of facts. He knows all about Smith's Washing Machine, and whenever he thinks of the words in its name he has a mental image of all its excellent qualities; he thinks of the period of experimenting that preceded its invention, of the ingenuity of its construction, and of its proved ability to save time and labor in the operation of washing. Because the name of the article means so much to him, he must be careful to remember that it does not mean so much to the people to whom he is writing. The bare denotation of the words in the name is all other people will think about, and in order to make them really see the machine as he sees it, he must describe in definite, forcible terms all the qualities that immediately come into his mind whenever he thinks of Smith's Washing Machine. The failure of letter writers to realize that words which mean much to them may not have the same meaning for their correspondents, is responsible for much of the ineffectiveness of business letters.

Slang. — This is not the place for a detailed consideration of whether or not it is permissible to use slang in business letters. This is the place, however, for the statement of a few general principles that have a bearing on the matter. First, it is well to find out what slang really is. Slang is defined as "inelegant and unauthorized popular language, consisting of words and expressions of low or to COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE

illiterate origin or use, or of legitimate expressions used in grotesque or irregular senses." This is rather a severe indictment, but, fortunately, all slang is not so bad as the definition would lead one to believe. Some of it is exceedingly forcible and effective, and can be used to advantage by the correspondent just as it can be used with entire propriety in business conversation. Slang expressions that can be used in business are really colloquialisms ; colloquialisms are "expressions not coarse or low, and perhaps not incorrect, but below literary usage." Colloquialisms, then, are really not slang at all, if we are to observe the fine distinction between the terms. Slang, however, is the inclusive word that is generally applied to all classes of expressions under consideration. Slang is sometimes of value in business correspondence because it is expressive and forcible. Many a slang phrase means more to the average man than a complete sentence of more correct language would mean. Colloquial language is the language of "the man in the street," and it is to "the man in the street" — the average man, in other words — that most letter writers want to appeal. There is a very decided danger in the use of such language, however. In the first place, there are many kinds of letters in which colloquialisms are absolutely out of place — letters of application, of recommendation, of introduction, letters asking favors, letters to officials in positions of dignity, etc. And in the second place, even if the letter is of such a nature that certain colloquialisms are not out of place in it, the writer may be unable to distinguish between the language of "the man in the street" and the language of the man in the gutter. Anything that is vulgar and low must be studiously * avoided under all circumstances ; that which is merely "below literary usage" is to be used, if it serves a useful purpose, but with discretion and care, just as all the other tools of the correspondent are to be employed when occasion and judgment seem to justify their use. When the various

CHOICE OF WORDS n

kinds of business letters are considered in detail in later chapters, careful attention will be given to the circumstances in which colloquial language may be safely used, and suggestions will be made for distinguishing between permissible slang and that which is forever barred from the language of intelligent people. For the present, it is sufficient to present a few examples to indicate the kind of slang that is permissible and some of the circumstances in which it may be advantageously used.

If your magazine pulls as well as the Blank Monthly, I will give you a twelve page contract.

"Pulls" is decidedly a slang word used in this way, but it expresses the thought better than any other word or group of words could express it. "Pull," however, is being greatly over-worked by advertising men, and when a slang word is over-worked, it soon loses its effectiveness, just as any other word does when it is used too much.

If you are tired of a salaried job, if you want to get into a bigpaying, independent business of yeur own, I have a proposition that will interest you.

It is not clear that the word "job" instead of "position" is strictly in accordance with literary usage, and "big-paying" will hardly be found in Thackeray or Dickens. Both expressions, though, are perfectly good English ; they mean a great deal ; most business men accept them without question ; and no other words would have fitted as well into this sentence.

The following complete letter is an interesting example of the proper use of slang under certain conditions. Try to substitute literary phrases for any of the colloquial expressions, and the letter is weakened.

There is no better time to start in this business than right now. People always spend money freely just before the holidays— get In the game and get your share of this loose coin. Remember, we ship on the day the order comes in. Send us your order this afternoon, and the goods will be at your door day after to-morrow. You can have several hundred dollars in the bank by this time next week. Why not? All you need to do is to make the decision now.

Unless you are blind or pretty well crippled up, you needn't expect that people will come around and drop good money into your hat. But they will loosen up if you go out after them with a good proposition such as this — and provided you get to them before the other fellow does. The whole thing is to get started. Get in motion ! Get busy ! If you don't want to take time to write, telegraph at our expense. It doesn't make much difference how you start; the thing is to start. Are you with us?

That is what is called a "ginger" talk. It is effective when addressed to a certain audience and with a certain purpose in mind. What the proper audiences and purposes are will be considered in detail later. For the present, simply bear in mind that the purpose of writing business letters usually is to make people do things — that business English is simply effective English — and that if colloquial language is more expressive than literary language, if it has a greater power to move people to action, it is a perfectly proper medium of expression in a business letter, provided the language is not vulgar or coarse, and also provided that the man to whom the letter is written is not one who might possibly be offended by being addressed in informal terms. There are a good many "if's" and "provided's" ' in the preceding sentence. Their number indicates the care that must be taken in, using slang in business correspondence. It can be used effectively at times, but unless the writer is very sure what those times are, it would be well to avoid its use altogether.

Chapter II

Scope of chapter. — It is not the purpose of this chapter to present a complete discussion of sentences and paragraphs. Such a discussion would cover practically the entire field of grammar and rhetoric. It is designed- simply to consider briefly the three chief units of construction in commercial correspondence — the entire letter, the paragraph, and the sentence — and to emphasize a few of the helpful principles that aid the correspondent in grouping words into sentences, sentences into paragraphs, and paragraphs into letters in the most effective way. The three general principles of construction that are as important in business letter writing as they are in all other forms of composition are the following: unity, coherence, and emphasis. What these terms mean will be explained when their application to each of the chief units of construction is considered. The inexperienced writer must constantly bear these three principles in mind. It may be difficult at first to remember to apply them in all cases, but gradually they will exercise an unconscious influence over the work of the writer, and it will be as natural to remember them and to apply them as it is to apply any of the other rules that make for easy reading and exact understanding of written thoughts.

THE LETTER AS A WHOLE

Unity. — The principle of unity as applied to the whole letter simply means that the entire composition should center about one main idea. It would seem that every one would recognize and apply this principle without argument, but there are a surprising number of business letters in which the principle of unity is violated. The following is an example :

We acknowledge receipt of your letter of January 21, enclosing check for $250.00, in full payment of your account. Please accept our thanks for the prompt remittance.

Recently we received an application for employment as traveling salesman from Mr. Frank J. Brown, who states that he was at one time employed as your representative in Pittsburgh. We shall be glad to receive any confidential statement that you may care to make regarding his selling ability and general qualifications for our work.

Disadvantages of lack of unity. — There is no unity in this letter. The two paragraphs treat of absolutely distinct matters. Such a letter is inexcusable not only because it violates the first principle of all composition, but also because it is so arranged as to make delay in answering inevitable. All modern business houses of any size or importance are organized on a departmental basis. The department that wishes to be advised of the receipt of remittances is ordinarily not the department that can give information concerning the record of former salesmen in the employ of the house. In the case of the quoted letter, therefore, the reply to the second paragraph could not be made antil the letter had first gone to the cashier's department, and had then been sent to the sales department for final attention. Or, copies of the letter might be made in the receiving office and sent to the departments concerned. Either procedure might result in delay and confusion, and it is not infrequent for a letter to fail to receive the attention of one or more necessary departments when it has to be passed around among several.

There is still another reason why no letter should treat of more than one main subject. In many business houses the letters that are received are filed by subjects and not according to the names of the writers. If this is done, where would such a letter as the one quoted above be filed? It would have to be filed under one of the two subjects treated, and a cross reference card placed in the file for the other subject, or a copy would have to be made. This is inconvenient and confusing. The writer of a letter, simply because his own correspondence is filed by names, has no right to conclude that the file of his correspondent is arranged in the same way. By confining each letter to a single subject, he should avoid every possibility of inconveniencing the man to whom he is writing. This is an absolute rule in the large houses that have systematized their correspondence ; it should be an absolute rule in every business house.