Snarleyyow, the Dog Fiend

Contents

Chap. Page

1. Introduction of divers parties and a red-herring ... 5

2. Showing what became of the red-herring ..... 9

Chapter II. Showing What Became Oe The Eep-heeei^g

Smallbones soon made his re-appearance, informing Mr. Vanslyperken that his breakfast was ready for him, and Mr. Vanslyperken, feeling himself quite ready for his breakfast, went

down below. A minute after he had disappeared another man came up to relieve the one at the wheel, who, as soon as he had surrendered up the spokes, commenced t warming himself after the most approved method, by flapping his arms round his body.

The skipper's out o' sorts again this morning," said Obadiah after a time. " I heard him muttering about the woman at the Lust Haus."

" Then, by Got, we will have de breeze/' replied Jansen, who was a Dutch seaman of huge proportions, rendered still more preposterous by the multiplicity 01 his nether clothing.

"Yes, as sure as Mother Carey's chickens raise the gale, so does the name of the Frau Vandersloosh. I'll be down and get my breakfast, there may be keel-hauling before noon."

" Mein Got— dat is de tyfel."

" Keep her nor-east, Jansen, and keep a sharp look out for the boats."

" Got for dam — how must I steer the chip and look for de boats at de same time ? not possible.''

"That's no consarn o' mine. Those are the orders, and I passes them — you must get over the unpossibility how you can." So saying, Obadiah Coble walked below.

We must do the same, and introduce the reader to the cabin of Lieutenant Vanslyperken, which was not very splendid in its furniture. One small table, one chair, a mattress in a standing bed-place, with curtains made of bunting, an open

10 SKABXEYYOW.

cupboard, containing: three plates, one tea-cup and saucer, two drinking glasses, and two knives. More was not required, as Mr. Vanslyperken never indulged in company. There was another cupboard, but it was carefully locked. On the table before the lieutenant was a white wash-hand basin, nearly half full of burgoo, a composition of boiled oatmeal and water, very wholesome, and very hot. It was the allowance, from the ship's coppers, of Mr. Vanslyperken and his servant Smallbones. Mr. Vanslyperken was busy stirring it about to cool it a little, with a leaden spoon. Snarleyyow sat close to him, waiting for his share, and Smallbones stood by, waiting for orders.

" Smallbones," said the lieutenant,' after trying the hot mess before him, and finding that he was still in danger of burning his mouth, " bring me the red-herring."

"Red-herring, sir?'' stammered Smallbones.

"Yes," replied his master, fixing his little gray eye sternly on him, " the red-herring.''

"It's gone, sir !" replied Smallbones, with alarm.

"Gone! gone where?"

"If you please, sir, I didn't a-think that you would have touched it after the dog had had it in his nasty mouth ; and so, sir — if you please, sir "

"And so what?" said Vanslyperken, compressing his thin lips.

" I ate it myself — if you please — dear, dear !"

" You did, did you — you gluttonous scarecrow — yon did, did you ? Are you aware that you have committed a theft — and are you aware of the punishment attending it ?"

" sir, it was a mistake, dear sir/' cried Smallbones, whimpering.

*' In the first place, I will cut you to ribbons with the cat."

"Mercy, sir, sir !'' cried the lad, the tears streaming from his eyes.

" The thief's eat, with three knots in each tail."

Smallbones raised up his thin arms, and clasped his hands, pleading for mercy.

" And after the flogging you shall be keel -hauled." ^

" O God V* screamed Smallbones, falling down on his knees, " mercy — mercy ! "

But there was none. Snarleyyow, when he saw the lad go down on his knees, flew at him, and threw him on his back, growling over him, and occasionally looking at his master.

" Come here, Snarleyyow," said Mr. Vanslyperken. " Come

here, sir, and lie down." But Snarleyyow had not forgotten the red-herring ; so in revenge he first bit Smallbones in the thigh, and then obeyed his master.

" Get up, sir," cried the lieutenant.

Smallbones rose, but his temper now rose also ; he forgot all that he was to suffer, from indignation against the dog : with

SSTAELEYYOW. 11

flashing eyes, and whimpering with rage, he cried out, as the tears fell, and his arms swung round, " I'll not stand this — I'll jump overboard — that I will : fourteen times has that ere dog a-bitten me this week. I'd sooner die at once than be made dog's meat of in this here way."

' Silence, you mutinous rascal, or I'll put you in irons."

"I wish you would — irons don't bite, if they hold fast. I'll run away — I don't mind being hung — that I don'tstarved to death, bitten to death in this here way ''

" Silence, sir. It's over-feeding that makes you saucy/'

" The Lord forgive you ! '* cried Smallbones, with surprise ; " I've not had a full meal "

" A full meal, you rascal ! there's no filling a thing like you — hollow from top to bottom, like a bamboo."

" And what I does get,'' continued Smallbones, with energy, " I pays dear for ; that ere dog flies at me, if I takes a bit o' biscuit. I never has a bite without getting a bite, and it's all my own allowance."

"A proof of his fidelity, and an example to you, you wretch/' replied the lieutenant, fondly patting the dog on the head.

" "Well, I wish you'd discharge me, or hang me, I don't care

which. You eats so hearty, and the dog eats so hearty, that I

gets nothing. We are only victualled for two."

" You insolent fellow ! recollect the thief's cat."

"It's very hard," continued Smallbones, unmindful of the

threat, "that that ere beast is to eat my allowance, and be

allowed to half eat me too."

" You forget the keel-hauling, you scarecrow."

" Well, I hope I may never come up again, that's all/'

" Leave the cabin, sir."

This order Smallbones obeyed.

"Snarleyyow," said the lieutenant, "you are hungry, my oor beast." Snarleyyow put his forepawup on his master's nee. "You shall have your breakfast soon," continued his master, eating the burgoo between his addresses to the animal. " Yes, Snarleyyow, you have done wrong this morning ; you ought to have no breakfast." Snarleyyow groAvled. "We are only four years acquainted, and how many scrapes you have got me into, Snarleyyow! " Snarleyyow here put both his paws upon his master's knee. " Well, you are sorry, my poor dog, and you shall have some breakfast;" and Mr. Vanslyperken put the basin of burgoo on the floor, which the dog tumbled down his throat most rapidly. "Nay, my dog, not so fast ; you must leave some for Smallbones ; he will require some breakfast before his punishment. There, that will do ; and Mr. Vanslyperken wished to remove the basin with a little of the burgoo remaining in it. Snarleyyow growled, would have snapped at his master, but Mr. Vanslyperken shoved him away with the bell-mouth of his speaking-trumpet, and reco-

12 SXAlttEYYOW

vcring a portion of the mess, put it on tlio tablo for the use of poor Smallbones. " Now, then, my dog, we will go on deck." Mr. Vanslyperken left the cabin, followed by Snarleyyow ; but as soon as his master was half way up the iadder, Snarleyyow turned back, leaped on the chair, from the chair to the table, and then finished the whole of the breakfast appropriated for Smallbones. Having effected this, the dog followed his master.

Chapter III

A HETROSrHCX, AND SHORT DESCRIPTION OF A NEW CHAE ACIEU ,

But we must leave poor Smallbones to lament his hard fate in the fore peak of the vessel, and Mr. Vanslyperken and his dog to walk the, quarter-deck, while we make our readers a little better acquainted with the times in which the scenes passed which we are now describing, as well as with the history of Mr. Vanslyperken.

The date in our first chapter, that of the year 1699, will, if they refer back to history, show them that William, of Nassau hadbeen a few years on the English throne, and that peace had

i'ust been concluded between England with its allies and France. The king occasionally passed his time in Holland, among his Dutch countrymen, and the English and Dutch fleets, which but a few years before were engaging with such an obstinacy of courage, had lately sailed together, and turned their guns against the French. William, like all those continental princes who havebeen called to the English throne, showed much favour to his own countrymen, and England was overrun with Dutch favourites, Dutch courtiers, and peers of Dutch extraction. He would not even part with his Dutch guards, and was at issue with the Commons of England on that verjr account. But the war was now over, and most of the English and Dutch # navy lay dismantled in port, a few small vessels only being in commission to intercept the smuggling from France that was carrying on, much to the detriment of English manufacture, of certain articles then denominated alamodesand lutestrings. The cutter we have described was on this service, and was named the Yungfrau, although built in England, and forming a part of the English naval

force.

It may really be supposed that Dutch interest, during this

Eeriod, was in the ascendant. Such was the case ; and the 'utch officers and seamen who could not be employed in their own marine were appointed in the English vessels, to the prejudice of our oayu countrymen, Mr, Vanslyperken was of

Dutch extraction, but born in England long before the Prince of Orange had ever dreamt of being called to the English throne. He was a near relation of King William's own nurse, and even in these days that would cause powerful interest. Previous to the revolution he had been laid on the shelf for cowardice in one of the engagements between the Dutch and the English, he being then a lieutenant on board of a twodecked ship, and of long standing in the service ; but before he had been appointed to this vessel, he had served invariably in small craft, and his want of this necessary qualification had never been discovered. The interest used for him on the accession of the Dutch king was sufficient for his again obtaining the command of a small vessel. In those days, the service was very different from what it is now. The commanders of vessels were also the pursers, and could save a reat deal of money by; defrauding the crew : and further, the iscipline of the service was such as would astonish the modern philanthropist ; there was no appeal for subordinates, and tyranny and oppression, even amounting to the destruction of life, were practised with impunity, Smollett has given his readers some idea of the state of the service a few years after the time of which we are now writing, when it was infinitely worse, for the system of the Dutch, notorious for their cruelty, had been grafted upon that of the English. The consequence was, a combination of all that was revolting to humanity was practised, without any notice being taken of it by the superior powers, provided that the commanders of the vessels did their duty when called upon, and showed the necessary talent and courage.

Lieutenant Yanslyperken's character may be summed up in the three vices of avarice, cowardice, and cruelty. A miser in the extreme, he had saved up much money by his having had the command of a vessel for so many years, during which he had defrauded and pilfered both from the men and the government. Friends and connections he had none on this side of the water, and, when on shore, he had lived in a state of abject misery, although he had the means of comfortable support. He was now fifty -five years of age. Since he had been appointed to the Yungfrau, he had been employed in carrying despatches to the States-General from King William, and had, during his repeated visits to the Hague, made acquaintance with the widow Vandersloosh, who kept a Lust Hans,* a place of resort for sailors, where they drank and danced. Discovering that the comfortably fat lady was also very comfortably rich, Mr. Vanslyperken had made advances, with the hope of obtaining her hand and handling her money. The widow had, however, no idea of accepting |the offer, but was too wise to give him a decided refusal, as she knew it would be

* Pleasure house.

attended with liis preventing: the crew of the cutter from frequenting her house, and thereby losing much custom. Thus did she, at every return, receive him kindly and give him hopes, hut nothing more. Since the peace, as we before observed, the cutter had been ordered for the prevention of smuggling.

When and how Mr. Vanslyperkenhad picked up his favourite Snarieyyow cannot be discovered, and must remain a secret. The men said that the dog had appeared on the deck of the cutter in a supernatural way, and most of them looked upon him with as much awe as ill-will.

This is certain, that the cutter had been a little while before in a state of mutiny, and a forcible entry attempted at night into the lieutenant's cabin. It is therefore not unreasonable to suppose that Vanslyperken felt that a good watch-dog might be a very useful appendage to his establishment, and had procured one accordingly. All the affection he ever showed to anything living was certainly concentrated on this one animal, and, next to his money, Snarieyyow had possession of his master's heart.

Poor Smallbones, cast on the world without father or mother, had become starved before he was on board the cutter, and had been starved ever since. As the reader will perceive, his allowance was mostly eaten up by the dog, and he was left to beg- a

precarious support from the good-will and charity of his shipmates, all of whom were equally disgusted with the commander's cruelty and the ungain temper of his brute companion.

Having entered into this retrospect for the benefit of the reader, we will now proceed.

Mr. Vanslyperken walked the deck for nearly a quarter of an hour without speaking: the men had finished their breakfasts, and were lounging about the deck, for there was nothing for them to do, except to look out for the return of the two boats which had been sent away the night before. The lieutenant's thoughts were at one minute, upon Mrs. Vandersloosh, thinking how he could persuade her, and, at another, upon Smallbones, thinking how he could render the punishment adequate, in his opinion, to the magnitude of the offence. While discussing these two important matters, one of the men reported the boats ahead, and broke up the commander's reverie.

" How far off 1 ?" demanded Mr. Vanslyperken,

" About two miles."

" Pulling or sailing ?"

" Pulling, sir ; we stand right for them."

But Mr, Vanslyperken was in no pleasant humour, and ordered the cutter to be hovc-to.

" I tink de men have pull enough all night," said Jansen, who had just been relieved at the wheel, to Obadiah Coble, who was standing by him on the forecastle.

StfAKLEYYOW. 15

" I think so too : but there'll he a breeze, depend upon it never mind, the devil will have his own all in good time."

"Got for dam," said Jansen, looking at Beaehy Head, and shaking his own.

" Why, what's the matter now, old Schnapps?" said Coble.

"Schnapps — yes—the tyfel — Schnapps, I think how the French schnapped us Dutchmen here when you Englishment wouldn't fight."

" Mind what you say, old twenty breeches— wouldn't fight — when wouldn't we fight ?"

" Here, where we were now, by Got, you leave us all in the lurch, and not come down."

" Why, we couldn't come down."

"Bah!" replied Jansen^ who referred to the defeat of the combined Dutch and English fleet by the French off Beaehy

Head in 1690.

"We wouldn't fight, eh?" exclaimed Obadiah in scorn— " what do you say to the Hogue P"

" Yes, den you fought well — dat was good."

" And shall I tell you why we fought well at the Hogue, you Dutch porpoise— just because we had no [Dutchmen to help us."

" And shall I tell you why the Dutch were beat off this Head ? — because the English wouldn't come down to help us."

Here Obadiah put his tongue into his right cheek. Jansen in return threw his into his left, and thus the argument was finished. These disputes were constant at the time, but seldom proceeded further than words — certainly not between Coble and Jansen, who were great friends.

The boats were soon on board ; from the time that the cutter had been # hove-to, every stroke of their oars having been accompanied with a nautical anathema from the crews upon the head of their commander. The steersman and first officer, who had charge of the boats, came over the gangway and went up to Vanslyperken. lie was a thick-set, stout man, about five feet four inches high, and, wrapped up in Flushing garments, looked very much like a bear in shape as well as in skin. His name was Dick Short, and in every respect he answered to his name, for he was short in stature, short in speech, and short in decision and action.

Now when Short came up to the lieutenant, he did not consider it at all necessary to say as usual, " Come on board, sir," for it was self-evident that he had come on board. He therefore said nothing. ^ So abrupt was he in his speech, that he never even said " Sir" when he spoke to his superior, which it may be imagined was very offensive to Mr. Vanslyperken ; so it was, but Mr. Vanslyperken was afraid of Short, and Short was not the least afraid of Vanslyperken. •

" Well, what have you done, Short?"

"Nothing."

a

" Did you see anything of the boat ? "

" Did you gain any information ? M

What have you been doing all night ?"

"Pulling."

" Did you land to obtain information?"

"Yes."

" And you got none ? "

Here Short hitched up the waistband of his second pair of trousers, turned short round, and was going below, when Snarleyyow smelt at his heels. The man gave him a back kick with the heel of his heavy boot, which sent the dog off yelping and barking, and put Mr. Vanslyperken in a great rage. Not venturing to resent this affront upon his first officer, he was reminded of Smallbones, and immediately sent for Corporal Yan Spitter to appear on deck.

CHAPTER IY.

IN WHICH THERE IS A DESPERATE COMBAT.

Even at this period of the English history, it was the custom to put a few soldiers on board of the vessels of war, and the Yungfrau cutter had been supplied with a corporal and six men, all of whom were belonging to the Dutch marine. To a

person who was so unpopular as Mr. Yanslyperken, this little force was a great protection, and both Corporal Yan Spitter and his corps were well treated by him. The corporal was his purser and purveyor, and had a very good berth of it, for he could cheat as well as his commandant. He was, moreover, his prime minister, and an obedient exe cuter of all his tyranny, for Corporal Yan Spitter was without a shadow of feeling — on the contrary, he had pleasure in administering punishment ; and if Vanslyperken had told him to blow any man's brains out belonging to the vessel, Yan Spitter would have immediately obeyed the order without the change of a muscle in his fat, florid countenance. The corporal was an enormous man ; tall, and so corpulent, that he weighed nearly twenty stone. Jansen was the only one who could rival him ; he was quite as tall as the corporal, and as powerful, but he had not the extra weight of his carcase.

About five minutes after the summons, the huge form of Corporal Yan Spitter was seen to emerge slowly from the hatchway, which appeared barely wide enough to admit the egress of

SISTAELEYYOW. 17

his t broad shoulders. He had a flat foraging cap on his head, which was as large as a buffalo's, and his person was clothed in blue pantaloons, tight at the ankle, rapidly increasing in width as they ascended, until they diverged at the hips to an expanse which was something between the sublime and the ridiculous. The upper part of his body was cased in a blue jacket, with leaden buttons^ stamped with the rampant lion, with a little tail behind, which was shoved up in the air by the protuberance of the parts. Having gained the deck, he walked to Vanslyperken, and raised the back of his right hand to his forehead.

" Corporal Van Spitter, get your cats up for punishment, and when you are ready fetch up Smallbones/'

Whereupon, without reply, Corporal Van Spitter put his left foot behind the heel of his right, and by this manoeuvre turned his body round like a capstan, so as to bring his face forward, and then walked off in that direction. He soon re-appeared with all the necessary implements of torture, laid them down on one of the lee guns, and again departed to seek out his victim.

After a short time, a scuffle was heard below, but it was soon over, and once more appeared the corporal with the spare, tall body of Smallbones under his arm. He held him, grasped by the middle part, about where Smallbones' stomach ought to have been, and the head and heels of the poor wretch both hung down perpendicularly, and knocked together as the corporal proceeded aft.

As soon as Van Spitter had arrived at the gun, he laid down his charge, who neither moved nor spoke. He appeared to have resigned himself to the fate which awaited him, and made no resistance when he was stripped by one of the marines, and stretched over the gun. The men, who were on deck, said nothing ; they looked at each other expressively as the preparations were made. Flogging a lad like Smallbones was too usual an occurrence to excite surprise, and to show their disgust would have been dangerous. Smallbones' back was now bared, and miserable was the spectacle ; the shoulder-blades protruded, so that you might put your hand sideways under the scapula, and every bone of the vertebra) and every process was clearly defined through the skin of the poor skeleton. The punishment commenced, and the lad received his three dozen without a murmur, the measured sound of the lash only being broken in upon by the baying of Snarleyyow, who occasionally would have flown at the victim, had he ^ not been kept off by one of the marines. During the punishment, Mr. Vanslyperken walked the deck, and turned and turned again as before.

Smallbones was then cast loose by the corporal, who was twirling up his cat, when Snarleyyow, whom the marine had

not watched, ran up to the lad, and inflicted a severe bite.

Smallbones, who appeared, at the moment, to be faint and lifeless — not having risen from his knees^ after the marine had thrown his shirt over him, roused by this new attack, appeared to spring* into life and energy; he jumped up, uttered a savage yell, and to the astonishment of everybody, threw himself upon the dog as he retreated^ and holding him fast with his naked arms, met the animal with his own weapons, attacking him with a frenzied resolution with his teeth. Everybody started back at this unusual conflict, and no one interfered.

Long was the struggle ; and such was the savage energy of the lad, that he bit and held on with the tenacity of a bull-dog, tearing the lips of the animal, his ears, and burying his face in the dog's throat, as his teeth were firmly fixed on his windpipe. The dog could not escape, for Smallbones held him like a vice. At last, the dog appeared to have the advantage, for as they rolled over and over, he caught the lad by the side of the neck ; but Smallbones recovered him self > and getting the foot of Snarleyyow between his teeth, the dog threw up his head and howled for succour. Mr. Vanslyperken rushed to his assistance, and struck Smallbones a heavy blow on the head with his speaking trumpet, which stunned him, and he let go his hold.

Short, who had come on deck, perceiving this, and that the dog was about to resume the attack, saluted Snarleyyow with a kick on his side, which threw him down the hatchway, which was about three yards off from where the dog was at the time,

" How dare you strike my dog, Mr. Short?" cried Vanslyperken.

Short did not condescend to answer, but went to Smallbones and raised his head. The lad revived. He was terribly bitten about the face and neck, and what with the wounds in front, and the lashing from the cat, presented a melancholy spectacle.

Short called some of the men to take Smallbones below, in which act they readily assisted; they washed him all over with salt water, and the smarting from his various wounds brought him to his senses. He was then put in his hammock.

Yanslyperken and the corporal looked at each other during the time that Short was giving his directions — neither interfered. The lieutenant was afraid, and the corporal waited for orders. So soon as the men had carried the lad below, Corporal Van Spitter put his hand uj) to his foraging cap, and, with his cat and seizings under his aim, went down below. As for Vanslyperken, his wrath was even greater than before, and with hands thrust even further down in his pockets than ever, and the speaking-trumpet now battered flat with the blow which he had # administered to Smallbones, he walked up and down, muttering every two minutes, "Til keel-haul the scoundrel, by heavens ! I'll teach him to bite my dog."

Snarleyyow did not re-appear on deck ; lie had received such, punishment as he did not expect. He licked the wounds where he could get at them, and then remained in the cabin in a sort of perturbed slumber, growling every minute, as if he were fighting the battle over again in his sleep.

Chapter V. A Consultation In Which There Is Hitch Mutiny

This consultation was held upon the forecastle of his Majesty's cutter Yungfrau, on the evening after the punishment of Smallbones. The major part of the crew attended ; all but the Corporal Van Spitter, who, on these points, was known to split with the crew, and his six marines, who formed the corporal's tail, at which they were always to be found. The principal personage was not the most eloquent speaker, for it was Dick Short, who was supported by Obadiah Coble, Yack Jansen, and another personage, whom we must introduce — the boatswain or boatswain's mate of the cutter ; for although he received the title of the former, he only receivedthe pay of the latter. This person's real name was James Salisbury, but for reasons which will be explained, he was invariably addressed

or spoken of as Jemmy Ducks. He was indeed a very singular variety of human discrepancy as to form : he was handsome in face, with a manly countenance, fierce whiskers and long pigtail, which on him appeared more than unusually long, as it descended to within a foot of the deck. His shoulders were square, chest expanded, and, as far as half-way down, that is, to where the legs are inserted into the human frame, he was a fine, well-made, handsome, well-proportioned man. But what a falling off was there ! — for some reason, some accident it is supposed, in his infancy, his legs had never grown m length since he was three years old : they were stout as well as his body, but not more than eighteen inches from the hip to the heel ; and he consequently waddled about a very ridiculous figure, for he Avas like a man razeed or cut down. Put him on an eminence of a couple of feet, and not see his legs, and you would say at a distance, " What a fine-looking sailor!" but let him get down and walk up to you, and you would find that Nature had not finished Avhat she had so well begun, and that you are exactly half mistaken. This malconformation below did not, however, affect his strength— it rather added to it ; and there were but few men in the ship who would venture a

wrestle with the boatswain, who was very appropriately distinguished by the cognomen of Jemmy Ducks. Jemmy was a

20 SffAEXEYYOW.

sensible, merry fellow, and a good seaman : ~y°u could not affront him by any jokes on his figure, for he would joke with you. He was indeed the fiddle of the ship's company, and he always played the fiddle to them when they danced, on which instrument he was no mean performer ; and, moreover, accompanied his Yoice with his instrument when he sang to them after they were tired of dancing. We shall only observe that Jemmy was a married man, and he had selected one of the tallest of the other sex : of her beauty, the less that is said the better — Jemmy did not look to that, or perhaps, at such a height, her face did not appear so plain to him as it did to those who were more on a level with it. The effect of perspective is well known, and even children now have as playthings, castles, &c., laid down on card, which, when looked at in a proper direction, appear just as correct as they do preposterous when lying flat before you.