Camp and barrack-room, or, The British Army as it is

Chapter I. Page

Enlistment 5

Chapter II

Departure from Dublin: Feelings on the Occasion. — Condition of Recruits on board the Steamers. — Lands at Gravesend. Drive to Chatham. — Is sent to the Receiving House : its Description : Treatment there. — Brought to the depot Barracks. — Inspected by the Medical Officer 9

Chapter III

Attacked with Fever and goes to Hospital. — Manner of Amusement there. — Is discharged, and sent to Drill. — Daily Routine of Duties. — Sees a Man flogged.— Causes of desertion at Chatham. — Abuses in the Army. — Applies for Leave to proceed to India. — Character of the Officer commanding the Depot 17

Chapter IV

Inspected by the Commandant. — Disorders during the Night. — Marches from Chatham. — Embarks at Gravesend. — Sea Necessaries.— Loosening Hammocks. — Formed into Watches. — Deprived of Bed-clothes. — The Ship puts into Portsmouth.— Stands to Sea again, — Condition of the Soldiers' Wives. — Is struck off Duty. — Makes the Island of Madeira. — Occurrences while there. — Arrives in the hot Latitudes. — Improper Conduct of the Men. — Causes which produce Irregularities on board Ship , 27

Chapter V

Crossing the Line. — Is becalmed. — Remarks on the phosphorescent Properties of Marine Bodies. — Catches the Trade Winds. — Accident during Prayers. — Sail in sight. — Arrives in the Cape Seas. —Rough Weather. — Cape Birds. — Weathers the Cape. — Losses

sustained 45

a

VI CONTENTS.

PAGE

Chapter VI

Makes the Bay of Bengal.— Diet on board Ship.— Arrives off the Sunderbunds.— Calms: Feelings during them. — Misses the Light Ship. — Gets a Pilot. — Land is seen. — River Ganges. — Anchors off Cudgeree. — Barter with Natives : their Appearance 57

Chapter VII

Proceeds up the River. — Arrives at Calcutta. — Disembarks. — Description of Fort William, Calcutta, &c. — Bad Conduct of the Detachment. — Remarks on the Native Troops 67

Chapter VIII

Embarks in a Steamer for Bombay. — Proceeds to Sea. — Arrives at Point de Galle. — Native Boats. — Is permitted to go on Shore.: — Description of the Fort, &c. — Sees a Water -Spout. — Arrives at Bombay. — Occurrences in the Town 80

Chapter IX

Sails for Kurratchee. — Begins to learn Hindoostanee. — Soldiers interfere with the Lascars. — Chinese Carpenters. — Arrives at Kurratchee. — Disembarks. — March to the Camp : its Description.— Inspected by the Commander-in-chief. — Gets the Route to Sukkur 89

Chapter X

Embarks.— Arrives off the Indus. — Want of Water. — River Steamers.— Sick Sepoys: their Dislike to Scinde. — European Prisoners.— Proceeds up the River. — Wood Stations. — Description of the Indus. — Mode of Irrigation. — Flight of Locusts. — Condition in the Steamer. — Gets aground. — Arrives at Sukkur. — Regimental Canteen. — Is sent to Drill. — Description of the Camp ... 99

Chapter XI

Light in which Recruits are viewed.— General Remarks on the Men. — Removes into Cantonments. — A Hail Storm. — Sergeant murdered. — Patrick's Day. — Drunkenness and its Evils. — Liquor selling. — Benefits of Temperance to the Soldier 128

CONTENTS. Vil

PAGE

Chapter XII

Is dismissed from Drill.— Intense Heat. — Its Effects. — Sent to write in the Orderly-room. — Description of Sukkur. — Inefficiency of the troops in the Hot Season. — Sukkur a useless and expensive Acquisition 147

Chapter XIII

Manner of Amusement. — Soldiers' Libraries. — Lying in the open Air at Night. — Mode of living.— Scindean Fishing and crossing the Indus. — Rations. — Tameness of Animals. — Grave-yard. — A Soldier refuses to attend Divine Service Parade. — Half-caste Wives of Soldiers. — Death of European Women 154

Chapter XIV

Improvements in the Cantonments. — Wages of Natives.— Is appointed Orderly-room Clerk. — Execution of a Murderer. — English and Irish Soldiers compared. — Bazaar Cyprians. — Laxity of Morals in the East. — Batta. — Weather becomes cooler. — Mutiny of the 64th. — A Sergeant-major attempts to commit Suicide.... 166

Chapter XV

River attains its full Height, and begins to subside. — Increase of Sick. — Is attacked with Malaria Fever. — Execution of the Ringleaders in the Mutiny of the 64th Sepoys. — Departure from Sukkur, — Conduct of the Camp-followers. — Reaches Sewhan. — Musquitoes. — Baggage-guard of the 78th Highlanders.— Boatmen of the Indus. — Number of Sick. — Shikargahs of the Ameers. — Journey to the Camp. — Continues the March. — Prisoners escape. —Marching in India. — Arrives at Kurratchee. — Hospital Establishment.— Occurrences while in Hospital. — Mirage of the Desert 1 78

Chapter XVI

Volunteering opens. — Continues to be attacked with Fever. — Want of Tents. — Severe Duty.— Address from the 35th N. I.— Theatre at Kurratchee. — Governor's Departure. — Visits the Town. — Improvements in the Station 206

CHAPTER XVII. Ordered to Bombay.— Embarks. -Condition in the Steamer.— Re

Vlll CONTENTS.

PAGE

covers from the Fever. — Description of Bombay, &c. — Natives. — Dress of the women. — Esplanade. — Climate. — Hindoo Patience. — Parsees 216

Chapter XVIII

Origin of Fire "Worship. — Its Introduction in Persia by Zoroaster. — History of the Guebres; their Defeat by the Arabs. — Arrival in India, &c. &c. — Religious Tenets. — Festival Days. — Marriage Ceremony. — Customs and Manners 224

Chapter XIX

Colabah Barracks.— Depot Women. — Half- castes. — Conduct of the Adjutant. — The Mohurrum, Mahometan Sects. — Skeleton of the 78 th arrives. — Embarks for England. — Accommodations on board Ship. — Rations. — Ship's Crew. — Officer's Ignorance. — Makes the coast of Africa. — Rough Weather.— Clears the Cape Seas 238

Chapter XX

Arrives at St. Helena. — Visits Napoleon's Tomb. — St. Helena Regiment.— Statistics of the Island. — Italian Nuns.— Puts to Sea. — Is becalmed. — Makes the Azores. — Arrives in England. — Marches to Walmer.— Is harshly treated.— Is discharged 253

LAST CHAPTER BUT ONE.

Addressed to those interested in the Welfare of the Soldier. The Class the Army must be drawn from. — Military Laws of Punishment and Reward. — Corporal Punishment : how it may be rendered less frequent.— Non-commissioned Officers, &c. &c. 268

CHAPTER THE LAST. Chiefly addressed to the Soldier himself. 287

Table, showing the probable Proportion to each other of the Causes which induce Men at present to enter the Army 311

CAMP AND BARRACK-ROOM;

OR,

THE BRITISH ARMY AS IT IS.

Chapter I. Enlistment

In consequence of a mercantile friend, whose affairs -were inextricably interwoven with mine, sustaining several heavy and unforeseen losses in trade, it became necessary that I should seek for other means of support, besides those arising from my position as his junior partner.

This necessity, however, it was confidently expected by us, would only continue to exist for two or three years at furthest; when, by prudent and economical management, the liabilities of the firm must be discharged ; and it was arranged, that I should then resume my original position in partnership.

Although I could have made choice of a situation as <jlerk in the counting-houses of several of my acquaintance, I would not accept it. I had always been desirous of travelling, and now resolved to gratify the propensity. With this object in view, I determined on entering some

6 CAMP AND BARRACK-ROOM; OK,

regiment on foreign service, which should be likely to return in two or three years; when I intended to purchase my discharge, if my partner's affairs had again become prosperous. Should the contrary, however, be the case, I thought my better plan would be, to remain still in the army, and get promoted if possible : the service of Her Majesty being then, in my estimation, fully as honourable as that of a mercantile company, or of an individual.

Many may think this a very strange course of procedure, and such indeed it was ; still, as I was destitute of means to gratify my inclination to travel, and disliked a sailor's life ,1 had no other resource.

Having come to the resolution of entering the army, my next subject for consideration was, whether I should be a dragoon or a foot soldier. I had certainly a taste for the cavalry, from having lived a long time in the country, and become fond of riding ; but the vicious kickings and plungings of a sable charger, while being cleaned in a stable at Portobello barracks, whither I went to have a peep at the scarlet jackets, brought about a total change of inclination; as I saw that however pleasant equestrian exercise may be, tending troop horses is not the most delectable employment in the world. The next morning, as I sauntered along in the direction of the Royal Barracks, I met a soldier with the recruiting ribbons pendant from his shako, and stopped to question him as to the corps he was enlisting for.

He named several, eyeing me narrowly the while, as if calculating from my outer man what he would make by me in the shape of bye-fees, smart-money, &c. ; but disliking his scrutiny, and tedious manner of eulogizing the different corps as he proceeded, I demanded somewhat abruptly if he had a gazette with him, receiving an answer in the negative. He informed me, however, that if I would accompany liim to Beggars Bush barracks, his sergeant could supply me with one. Thither we accordingly went; on arrival there, the gazette was duly produced; and, running my eye down the column which gave information as to stations of regiments, it rested on the 13th Light Infantry, then so noised abroad for its services in Afghanistan, and defeat of the terrible Akbar Khan.

The length of its stay in India, I ascertained, could not be more, in the usual course of things, than two years; a circumstance which tallied exactly with my views; and being told the corps was a good one, I at once resolved to join it. A shilling was placed in my hand, and I was a soldier — one of the gallant 13th! the illustrious heroes of Ghuznee, Julgah, and Jugdulluk, and many other well fought fields. What paynim metamorphosis ever was effected quicker!

Next day I was attested at a police office (being approved of by a surgeon in the interim) ; and subsequently received permission to dispose of myself as I pleased, until required to proceed to England. One condition only being imposed, that I should appear at the barracks at ten o'clock each day.

After promising to do so, I returned to my lodgings; and sending for a Jew of my acquaintance, sold him my watch, and the better part of my clothes; and thus with the money I had previously by me, I found myself in possession of a tolerably large sum for a recruit. On the exit of the accommodating Hebrew, I sat down to ruminate over my altered fortunes and future prospects. The latter certainly were not of a nature to be envied: still, I felt cheered by the reflection that I was young and healthy, with the world before me for an inheritance ; and as regrets were equally idle and unavailing,

I determined on being as much of a Diogenes as possible.

My stay in Dublin, after my enlistment, was but for a few days ; and despite my philosophical resolutions to the contrary, I felt unusually sad on bidding some old and valued friends adieu, the evening prior to my departure.

The reflection too, that I could no longer have intercourse with them on terms of equality as hitherto, was productive of additional pain. I had sunk from their level in society; betaken me to what is considered the last resource of the unfortunate and the profligate; and an insuperable bar was placed between our future associating, according to the conventional usages of the world.

THE BRITISH ARMY AS IT IS.

Chapter II

DEPARTURE FROM DUBLIN: FEELINGS ON THE OCCASION. — CONDITION OF RECRUITS ON BOARD THE STEAMERS. — LANDS AT GRAVESEND. DRIVE TO CHATHAM. — IS SENT TO THE RECEIVING HOUSE: ITS DE- SCRIPTION: TREATMENT THERE. — BROUGHT TO THE DEPOT BAR- RACKS.— INSPECTED BY THE MEDICAL OFFICER.

The rain fell in torrents, and the day was excessively raw and cold for the season, as the City of Limerick steam-packet, bound for London, stood out of Dublin harbour. I was in consequence unable to keep the deck, to watch the spires of the beautiful capital of my native country, receding in the distance.

Under even the most agreeable circumstances, the quitting home and fatherland, for a long period, is painful in the extreme. It is at such a time that those latent feelings of attachment, of whose very existence we had hitherto been almost unconscious, assert their full power over our hearts. Situated as I was, those feelings came with tenfold strength. The life of a soldier is not the most reputable one in the opinion of the world ; and although I had thought otherwise, I could not avoid in that hour of regret having my sentiments biassed by those of others, however prejudiced.

When off Kingston the day brightened up a little ; and although a soaking rain still continued to fall, I went on deck to have a last look at the shores of the bay, associated as tliey were in my mind with many a pleasant jaunt and happy hour. The wind had by this time freshened to a stiff gale, blowing right inshore ; and the huge waves were breaking with sullen roar on the dark cliffs of Howth and Dalky, whose scathed crests loomed heavily through the thin fog, which now partially hid objects from the eye. But my stay upon deck was short ; the roughness of the sea soon caused nausea, and I was under the necessity of again going below, and turning into a berth, for the use of which I had paid the difference between a deck and a second-cabin passage. The other recruits, poor fellows ! were but miserably accommodated ; their only shelter being a shed on the upper deck, which admitted the rain almost as fast as it descended, so that the straw provided for them to lie upon soon became wet. In consequence of this, after the first night, they were obliged to get under a tarpaulin, spread at the lee side of the funnel, from beneath which they crawled every morning chilled and comfortless, and looking as wretched as it is possible to conceive. One of them in particular I sin-, cerely pitied, and regretted that I could not get him a berth such as my own. He was a slight, delicatelyformed youth, and had evidently been tenderly reared. His father, as I afterwards learned, had been a captain in the army; but a considerable time had elapsed since his death; and as his mother, from some untoward circumstance, never got the pension usually given to the widows of deceased officers, after various turns of fortune he found himself under the necessity of entering her majesty's service as a common sentinel.

After a boisterous and unpleasant run of three days, we made the English Channel, and stood into Plymouth harbour to take in coals, our supply of fuel having been exhausted from the delay caused by a head wind. A few hours sufficed for this purpose, and we again stood out to sea ; and as it was now a fair wind, sail was made, and point and headland were passed in rapid succession, as we went along at eleven knots an hour.

As evening approached the breeze lulled, and the sea went down ; the giant waves gradually dwindling away into tiny ridges, whose crest of hoar sparkled brightly in the sun, which now appeared from behind a mass of impervious cloud that had hitherto obscured it.

Our fourth night at sea was passed at anchor in the Downs. On the ensuing morning we made the Thames, and it was with no small degree of interest I gazed for the first time on the yellow waters of this noble stream, the great highway of the Babylon of our own times. Since then I have sailed on the sacred Ganges, and traversed the classic Indus, and neither of these rivers awoke a corresponding feeling in my mind.

As the steamer ascended the river it began to rain rather heavily, and I had to go below ; but on nearing Gravesend, the day again brightened up, and when off the town, the vessel lay to in order to permit of our landing. So, getting into a boat which came alongside, in a little time I was once more on terra Jirma. At the landing-place some half dozen omnibuses were drawn up awaiting passengers, and three of their drivers pounced simultaneously on my trunk, each tugging with all his might to bear it away, heedless of its owner, whom they expected as a matter of course to follow it. I looked on passively for a few minutes, thinking that a row must ensue, which in the sister island would have been the infallible result of a similar scene; but these worthies pulled and wrangled like lawyers at the bar with the most laudable good humour, until at length, seeing there was no sign of a shindy, I interfered in hehalf of one of them, who accordingly bore off the bone of contention to his vehicle.

Having procured some edibles and a glass of ale by way of ballast, feeling somewhat lightheaded and unsteady from the rolling of the steamers, I mounted the omnibus, and started for Chatham ; the old staff-sergeant in charge of the party having given his consent to my proceeding in this way, on condition that I should wait at a public-house in Rochester until he joined me with the other recruits. The drive to me was exhilarating in the extreme, after the discomforts of a steamer; and I felt, notwithstanding the corally depths and azure hue of the sea, that it is far pleasanter to look on hill and dell, and tree and flower, than on its mountain waves and boundless expanse. Large drops of rain glittered tremblingly on spray and leaf like matin dew, and I fancied, as the vehicle rolled rapidly along, that a May-day breeze was never more fragrant, or nature more beautiful, than then. The road wound through a pretty and picturesque district, clad in the rich garb of early summer, where the land laid down under crops, displayed the height of agricultural perfection; taste and. neatness being everywhere visible, while not a single perch of ground was lying waste. As I recollected the contrast, to this state of things in my own country, the result of negligence or a pernicious adherence to old customs, I could not help sighing ; but I trust that a better spirit has already gone abroad through Ireland, and that the practical farmer is daily becoming a more enlightened man.

Arrived at Rochester, I remained at a public-house, agreeably to the instructions of the old staff-sergeant, until he came up with the other recruits, when we proceeded together to the barracks, and being there duly handed over by him to the proper authorities, were marched to the Receiving-house. ' The number of recruits already there was upwards of two hundred, the larger part of whom were in no way distinguished for orderly conduct, while many of them had vice and ruffianism stamped indelibly on their faces.

It was, however, only natural to expect that characters of this description should be met with in a place where the very offscourings of several of the principal cities of the United Kingdom were congregated. Rogues and scoundrels were jumbled together en masse ; and these, despite their relationship, agreed in no one respect, save in fleecing their more simple companions, by means of cards, pitch and toss, &c, to the utmost extent of their knavish abilities, and in utter contempt of Her Majesty's regulations touching gambling. They likewise indulged without restraint in the use of the most foul and abominable language, and I certainly felt considerable pain of mind as I asked myself, are these to be my future companions ? Hard fare I little cared for, and it mattered not to me how rough my bed might be; privations of this nature are inseparable from a soldier's lot; but the prospect of mingling for any lengthened period with some of the individuals I saw in the Receiving-house, was, I must acknowledge, excessively disheartening. I was not then aware what a surprising alteration for the better in many respects, subjection to a strict and uniform discipline would effect in them in a little time.

All recruits on their first arrival at Chatham, are sent to the Receiving-house ; hence its name ; and are obliged to remain there until they pass the garrison doctor, and are finally approved of by the lieutenant-colonel of the provisional battalion ; when tliey receive tlieir uniforms, and are sent to tlieir several depots. The sleeping accommodations in this place were any thing but of the best; no one being allowed sheets, because they are said to be retentive of a certain contagious disease, of a most disagreeable though not very dangerous character: and as to the beds, they were, as one of my companions facetiously expressed it, like the continent of Asia, thickly peopled with black, brown, and white inhabitants. The origin and perpetuation of this nuisance, may in part be ascribed to the uncleanly habits of some prior to enlistment.

Into this den of living abominations was I thrust with my companions; and half an hour might have subsequently elapsed, when a huge Yorkshire fellow made his appearance, who had been installed as hair-cutter, or rather hair-shearer to the establishment; and who, ex officio, was armed with an enormous pair of scissors, which reminded me of the implement used by farmers for clipping hedges. As I chanced at the time to be next at hand, this worthy of the staff at once commenced operations on my head; constructing his parallels and approaches towards its vertex with such accuracy and expedition, that in a few moments I was in a similar situation to one most coveted in the halcyon days of boyhood, when I might pommel my school-fellows without mercy, and be in no danger of having my hair pulled by an antagonist; a punishment, by-the-by, I dreaded as much as ever blacky did a kick in the shin. This close hair-cutting system, it is said, has been adopted in order that recruits may, like barbers' shops, be known by their hare poles, should they desert, or attempt to quit the barracks before being clothed in uniform.

As night approached, I began, in Yankee parlance, to calculate where I should stow myself away during the hours sacred to repose; for, fatigued as I was after a first voyage, to lie in any of the beds was a thing out of the question altogether. After due consideration of the matter, I was fain to betake me to the boards by way of a resting-place; and even thus would soon have been wrapt in the arms of the god of dreams, but for the other denizens of the attic, among whom a row extraordinary arose, owing to there not being a sufficiency of bed-clothes for the whole, and a system of monopoly having been adopted in consequence, by the stronger recruits.

This conduct was not quietly submitted to by the others; and blankets and quilts were pulled about in a way highly detrimental to government property; the crisis meantime approaching when black eyes and bloody noses might in due course be expected. But while the fray was still in embryo, the entrance of the superintending corporal, the sole monarch of the place, put an end to all further squabbling : and as we chanced to have got into a wrong room, he ordered us all to decamp forthwith. Fortunately for me, a sergeant of my corps now appeared, and directed us of the 13th to follow him to the quarters of our dep6t; the Receiving-house being, it seemed, too full to admit of our stay. My new quarters I found to be a very heaven, compared with the place I had left. Clean sheets were given to me, and a soldier of the room in which I was located, good-naturedly making down my bed, I trundled into it; and being heartily tired, was soon wrapt in sleep.

The sun streamed broad and bright through a window at the head of my cot when I awoke on the ensuing morning, greatly refreshed by a night of unbroken slumber; and, after I had breakfasted upon tommy* and insipid coffee, the latter being served up in tin dishes, I fell in with a number of other recruits, and was marched to the hospital, to be inspected by the principal surgeon. This is a most trying ordeal to such as may have any symptoms of a cutaneous disease. As a necessary measure, they are at once incarcerated in a ward specially appropriated for persons having disorders of this description; and where a residence, for any period, however short, is by no means agreeable. But it was not my bad fortune to be consigned to this ward, or to make the acquaintance of its guardian angel, generally , known by the sobriquet of Jack Skilly, a title given in consequence of his being the dispenser of skillyf to patients affected with diseases of the skin. What his original appellation was, I cannot say; and I am confident it would be necessary to refer to the muster-roll of his depot, for accurate information on this head, so completely had the nick-name superseded the use of the name given him by his sponsors.

* This is the soldier's term generally for brown bread : that issued at Chatham was of the very worst description, and often so badly baked, that it would stick to a wall like paste.

•f The military name for gruel.

Chapter III

ATTACKED WITH FEVER AND GOES TO HOSPITAL. — MANNER OF AMUSE- MENT THERE. — IS DISCHARGED, AND SENT TO DRILL. — DAILY ROUTINE OF DUTIES. — SEES A MAN FLOGGED. — CAUSES OF DESERTION AT CHAT- HAM.— ABUSES IN THE ARMY. — APPLIES FOR LEAVE TO PROCEED TO INDIA.— CHARACTER OF THE OFFICER COMMANDING THE DEPOT.

A FEW days after my arrival at Chatham I was attacked with fever, and became in consequence an inmate of the general hospital of the garrison, where I sadly missed the presence of those beloved relatives who had hitherto tended me in sickness; and I felt, it is indeed in the hour of affliction that the heart turns to home with the fondest regret, when we contrast the carelessness and indifference of strangers, with the assiduous kindness and fond attentions of a mother or a sister. Youth and a good constitution, however, proving my , friends, in the course of a week I became convalescent ; and was then permitted to leave my cot, and supplied with a suit of hospital clothes ; no patient in military hospitals being allowed to wear his own, which are usually placed in a store on admission.

Having no books, I now amused myself in promenading the small space in front of the hospital, or by looking out of its upper windows, which commanded an extensive prospect over a rich tract of country, where the Medway

B now expands itself into a miniature lake, and now winds along its sinuous course till it dwindles into a thread of silver at Sheerness, where it is lost in the ocean. It was certainly very pleasant in the calm summer evenings of June, to gaze out upon this scene; and to watch the tiny craft which shot here and there over the glassy surface of the river, their snowy sails but half filled by the soft breathings of the vesper breeze, on which the pennant of the guard ship floated boldly out against the clear blue sky.

Still one soon tires of even natural scenery, however beautiful; and as I could not walk all day long to keep away ennui, I was fain to pay an occasional visit to Jack Skilly's ward, the occupants of which afforded abundant matter for observation.

An elevation similar to a guard bed ran round this ward; on which, as there were neither beds or cots, slept the patients, whose only covering was a single blanket to each, thick with medicinal grease and dirt. Their principal amusement was pitch and toss, which was constantly going forward; quarrels as a matter of course frequently arose; and when these happened, off came the blankets, and the combatants pommelled each other in puris naturalibns, their fellow-patients crowding around like so many sooty dwellers in a Tartarus, and encouraging them to battle it out manfully. At meal times a general row frequently occurred, owing to some being desirous to secure the largest messes; and so desperate would the struggle occasionally become, that even Jack himself, though presiding genius of the place, dared not venture among them ; his plan then being, to open the door sufficiently to allow of his thrusting in a mess, and closing it to as quickly as possible again.

I likewise contrived to while away an odd hour now and then, by conversation with the patients of my own wTard; one of whom was an old veteran, who had seen considerable service in the East; and many were the stories he told me of his adventures there, and the dangers he had encountered in the Burmese country, and at Bhurtpore. This soldier likewise amused me in another way. He had a great antipathy to the orderly of the wrard, who was also an old soldier and a Scotchman, because this person would not consent to bring him tobacco, the use of which is prohibited in hospitals. At first he used to do so, until he was reflected on by the other for being a feather-bed soldier, i. e. one who has not seen hard service ; Sandy bitterly retorting at the time, " that he had never harrowed half as much as himself had pleugh'd:" and thus a quarrel originated, which had widened considerably at the period of my admission. Nothing would annoy the Scotchman more than a story the other wrould tell, about his being cupped in the head's antipodes, for scheming in hospital, by a surgeon called cup-the-beggar, from his constant use of these words. This, told with the most imperturbable coolness, would render the irascible northern furious ; and he would return abuse in his native dialect, with such rapidity of utterance as to be unintelligible to his hearers.