What a woman of forty-five ought to know

Front matter

Med

,S( u I p

Self and Sex Series

Preface

In no line of literature, perhaps, is a book so much needed as in the line of the present volume, because few books have ever been written upon this subject, and the few have not been addressed . to woman, but to the medical profession.

This very fact would make it seem that What little it was thought necessary to say on the subject should be known by the physician, not by the women who must bear the burdens of the years, if there were any to be borne.

I have undertaken the writing of these chapters, with the hope that I might say some things that will be helpful to women in preparation for this age, who are troubled and apprehensive, and who can by knowledge better fit themselves to pass well and courageously through the years, which to some are trying years, and emerge with strength to do and dare great things in the remainder of life.

Emma F. A. Drake.

Chapter I. Knowledge Of The Climacteric Necessary

The people destroyed for lack of knowledge. — Women created with strength to bear all necessary burdens. — Lack of intelligence among children, young people, and people of middle life. — Relation of the climacteric to the after years. — Why many women are ill-prepared to face the climacteric. — Climacteric or menopause should not affect women of perfect health. — The fear that unnerves many. — Equipped for the change by the Creator. — The purpose of this book. — Passing from the important work of earlier life to other work not less important. — At middle life woman enters upon her larger work, 21-25

Chapter II. Correct View Concerning The Climacteric

Error of prevalent views concerning “ change of life ” in woman. — The correct teaching stated. — Terms defined. — The “change” comprehended in the divine plan. — Physicians largely to blame for the false views

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CONTENTS.

held. — Physicians should be educators. — Influence of medical literature. — Women in health have little cause for apprehension. — Important function of procreative powers. — Women to be inspired by enlarged work upon which she enters at middle life. — Longfellow’s inspiring counsel quoted. — The dreams of earlier years realized in middle life, ....... ^7**"3S

Chapter III. Three Periods Of A Woman’s Life

Three defined periods in a woman’s life. — The importance of period preceding puberty. — Relation of early habits to later aches and ills. — The period of middle life. — The menopause.— Importance of years that follow. — Difference between a furlough for rest and a discharge from future duty. — How to secure rest. — The third period divided into two periods. — .The meridian period and the table-lands.— People who were illustrious to old age. — Do not surrender. — Laying down the sword, taking up the pen, . . . 37-47

Chapter IV. Age And Conditions Governing Climac- Teric

Conditions which influence the period of the climacteric. — The age at which it usually appears.— Why it varies from twenty-eight to sixty years. — Stopping of menopause with childbirth. — Relation of menopause to early

CONTENTS.

xv development. — Effects of heredity. — Jewish women. — Childless women. — Mothers of large families, etc. — Effects of different occupations, etc. — Placid versus nervous women. — Excesses. — Sources of real happiness, . 49-57

Chapter V. Heralds Of Approaching Menopause

Duration of the menopause. — Mental states during menopause. — Irritability. — Unrest. — Change in blood currents. — Increase of flesh.

— Flushes, chilliness, dizziness, etc. — Effect upon sight, hearing and other senses. — Nervous symptoms. — The heart. — Vomiting, dyspepsia, rheumatism, etc. — Symptoms simulating maternity. — Irregularities. — Mental exaltation and depression. — Disturbed mental and nervous equilibriums. — Counsels, . . 59-67

Chapter VI. Attendant Ailments And Diseases

Women at middle life divided into four classes.

— Normal, moderately troublesome, severe, and serious. — National characteristics manifest in the menopause. — The large majority of normal women. — The women who belong to the second class. — Nature as woman’s helper. — Third class comparatively small. — Climacteric like fall house cleaning. — Ailments troublesome guests. — Serious neglect of hemorrhage. — Mental troubles considered. — Irritability. — The serious class of cases considered.— Symptoms common to all the

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CONTENTS.

classes. — Suggested help and relief. — Difference between organic disease and functional disturbance. — Cancer not increased by menopause.— Only about one per cent, of mortality from malignant disease during menopause. — Permanent disappearance of many ailments. — Numerous attendant benefits named. — Apprehensions dispelled, .... 69-84

Chapter VII. Self-knowledge And Needed Rest

Self-knowledge a primary duty. — A guarded use of strength. — Few women have learned the art of resting. — At middle life a rest has been earned and is needed. — Teach others to bear the burdens. — Become the entertainer. — Learn to play games. — Mr. Bok’s description of English women. — How to banish worry. — Running away from self and surroundings. —

The sea-voyage or its substitutes. — Dwelling in booths. — Sleeping in a tent. — Ignoring social functions. — Exercise and books — Slighting non-essentials. — Simplifying daily duties. — The Bible as prescribed by an eminent physician, 85-100

Chapter VIII. A Word To Single Women

To those married in heart. — Motherhood in the soul. — The maiden sisters with imaginary mansions and heart-born children. — Perfections attained by unmarried women. — Reluc-

CONTENTS.

xvn tance of unmarried women to meet the menopause.— Illustrations given. — Their need of sympathy. — Attractiveness and real beauty. — How to prolong one’s youth. — Importance of rest. — Dress during this period. — The province of clubs. — Rules for preserving youthful looks, ...... IOI-II4

Chapter IX. “at Sea.”

The mother “ at sea,” drifting. — Seeming out of sympathy with everybody and everything. — Changed attitude and relation to others. — Marriage of sons and daughters. — Desolate heart and home. — Society loses its charm. — Attitude towards husband. — Advantage of mothers with large families. — When the daughter from boarding-school returns to make radical changes in the home. — Boundlessness of motherhood. — Guarding against becoming gloomy. — Looking away from self.

— Mother’s right to best room. — The mother’s emancipation on her birthday. — Appeal to sons and daughters, . . . 115-128

Chapter X. Self-induced Diseases

Great majority of women never know when they pass the climacteric. — Origin of opinion to the contrary. — Effects of publicity and patent medicine advertisements. — Diseases induced by dancing in early life. — Alcoholxvni

CONTENTS.

ism. — Drug fiends. — Testimony of Dr.

Paulson. — Results of preventives and abortions.— Lustful indulgence. — Disregard of health, 1 29-1 37

Chapter XI. What The Husband Needs To Know And Remember

Different kinds of husbands. — Woman’s work not always appreciated. — Woman’s worth. —

The time for tender care of her. — The wedding trip postponed until the climacteric. — The wife of more moment than stocks and business.— Slights and inattentions keenly felt by her. — Need of patience. — Physical forces overdrawn. — Difficult to please. — A word of private counsel. — The intimate marital relation.— Letting the intellectual and spiritual dominate. — Awakening repugnance. — Growing apart. — Value of little attentions. — Save her from your worries, . . . 139-154

Chapter XII. The Wife’s Duty To Her Husband

The wife needs also to understand her husband.

— He also passing through a time of physical and mental stress. — Should help him also to bear his burdens. — Making home attractive.

— Well-cooked food. — Effects of different kinds of food. — Should seek to hold husband’s affections. — Unselfishness. — Develop the highest and noblest in the home life, . 155-160

CONTENTS.

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Chapter XIII. Auto-suggestion

The power of suggestions by others. — Meaning of auto-suggestion. — Influence of mind over body. — The stimulus of fear, love, etc. — The mind as a curative agent. — Numerous illustrations.— Power of mental mood specially needed during climacteric. — How to rise out of depression. — “ Keeping the soul on top.”

— Pre-eminence of better self. — The magnifying of little things. — Mental philosophy and physical betterment, . . . 161-171

Chapter XIV. Old Friends

Our old friends, the eyes, teeth, hair. — When the sight begins to fail. — Overtaxing the eyes.

— Symptoms of overstrained sight. — Need of glasses. — Resting the eyes. — Proper light. — Relation of health to sight. — When to consult the oculist. — The teeth. — Relation of proper mastication to good health. — Constant care of the teeth. — Other results of losing the teeth.

— The hair. — Washing the hair. — Removing dandruff. — Other suggestions, . . 173-183

Chapter XV. Constipation

Whether constipation is an inheritance or is a bad habit. — Dr. Thompson’s ten causes of constipation.— How constipation is provolsed. —

Its accompaniments. — Self-cure in middle life.

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CONTENTS.

— Necessary rules. — Choice of helpful foods.

— Value of water. — Foods to be avoided. — Effects of tea and coffee. — Different kinds of tea. — Preparation of tea and coffee. — Exercise.— Importance of regular hours. — Mental state while eating, .... 185-198

Chapter XVI. Exercise

What our changed conditions make necessary. —

The body made for activity. — Need of variety.

Benefits of cultivating flowers. — Recreative

exercise. — Ralston rules on exercise. — Harmonious use of muscles. — Symmetrical development.— Value of walking as exercise and recreation. — Chest development. — The lower extremities. — The back. — Proper dress when exercising. — Exercising the skin. — Exercise of the higher, the mind and the soul, . 199-21 1

Chapter I. Knowledge Of The Climacteric Necessary

The People Destroyed for Lack of Knowledge. — Women Created with Strength to Bear All Necessary Burdens. — Lack of Intelligence Among Children, Young People, and People of Middle Life. — Relation of the Climacteric to the After Years. — Why Many Women are Ill-prepared to Face the Climacteric. — Climacteric or Menopause Should Not Affect Women of Perfect Health. — The Fear that Unnerves Many. — Equipped for the Change by the Creator. — The Purpose of This Book. — Passing From the Important Work of Earlier Life to Other Work Not Less Important. — At Middle Life Woman Enters Upon Her Larger Work.

Centuries ago, when the world was younger, when cares were fewer, and distractions that wear and tear the soul and body less numerous and appalling, the prophet spoke the word to all ages : ‘ ‘ My people are destroyed (cut off) for lack of knowledge.” How much more true are the prophet’s words in this trying age, when such a multitude of unnecessary cares and distractions have been thrust upon the human family, by the gener-

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ations before them, and they are weighed down by responsibilities, many of which are not worth being responsible for.

I am sure the all-wise Creator, in His plan for each human soul, girded it with strength sufficient to bear all the necessary burdens of life and grow strong under them. That we have not done so, is too evident to need statement; and the cause is found in the prophet’s cry, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” Not only are children lacking in the essentials of living knowledge, not only are young people wanting in wisdom in many things; but we women of forty-five and upwards, must plead guilty to ignorance in many things that have to do with questions of our higher being.

At forty-five, we have approached an age that is large with importance for all our after years. Physical changes are upon us that mean much to our comfort, our usefulness and the happiness of our families.

From the multiplicity of the cares mentioned, we have many times drawn too heavily upon our physical capital, and are come to this time, which in many ways is a crisis in our lives, ill prepared to pass it with credit or comfort. A little more knowledge, a little more preparation, a little more sparing of oneself at times when soul and body are worn and tired, and we would have come to this period of change, equipped for the added strain which nature puts upon us, but which would not be felt were we in physical tone to meet it unshrinkingly.

The climacteric, or change of life, or menopause, (for all these terms have the same meaning) should have no more pronounced effect upon the well woman, than the change from childhood to puberty has upon our strong growing children.

Most women are more or less conscious that there will come a period in their lives when they will pass a change, but what this change portends, they are only dimly conscious. I speak of womankind in general. A few are well prepared ; while many are too well fortified in caution and nervousness, which hinders rather than equips them for the change.

The years which you are approaching have in them nothing to be feared. The Creator fitted you for child-bearing, and when this period has run its allotted course, He reconstructs your physical nature for another line of work. In doing this you pass simply and easily, from the reproductive or child-bearing period, into one of sexual inactivity. How

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to care for yourself, and spare yourself, that nature may not be hampered in the transition, is the object of this book to tell.

What is the climacteric, or change of life? That it is more than the cessation of the menses; that in the cessation of this function, every spring of life is touched and changed, we will undertake to prove; and that woman may emerge from the change, stronger and wiser, and readier for earnest service, of the kind the world stands most in need, we trust we may make clear to all our sisters who may read these pages.

You were born with possibilities of all the characteristics which go to make up the perfect woman. You are to be partner with God in the creation of the generations to come. All your girlhood is shaped by the Creator, to fit you for motherhood. You come from childhood into womanhood with the desire for home and children in your heart, and all the way along until this is realized you are being fitted for it. Through your years of realization of these hopes of early life you have come to another change which is none the less important to you. You are to emerge from the realm of child-bearing into a realm where you may assume another and no less important work, namely,

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the building up and making stable the lives which you have been partner in creating, and the using of the strength of your influence outside the home.

The years which separate these two periods, from sexual activity to sexual inactivity, are called the climacteric; and it will be the burden of this book to tell what we believe is truth, more precious than gold, that woman’s work has, now at this time, but well begun, and a blessed part is waiting to be done. To so keep hold of herself, mentally, physically and spiritually, that she can marshall her forces for better endeavor, not weakening in her work, is the duty of every woman ; and the knowledge that the world needs her and her mature effort, should be forced in upon the women of all nations and classes, if they are to do their share of work in the world’s physical and spiritual redemption.

Chapter II. Correct View Concerning The Climacteric

Error of Prevalent Views Concerning “ Change of Life ” in Woman. — The Correct Teaching Stated. — Terms Defined. — The “ Change ” Comprehended in the Divine Plan. — Physicians Largely to Blame for the False Views Held. — Physicians Should be Educators. — Influence of Medical Literature.— Women in Health Have Little Cause for Apprehension. — Important Function of Procreative Powers. — Women to be Inspired by Enlarged Work Upon Which She Enters at Middle Life. — Longfellow’s Inspiring Counsel Quoted. — The Dreams of Earlier Years Realized in Middle Life.

Woman at forty-five should be at the high noon of life, and the prevalent notion that she should already consider herself on the down-hill side, should be combated vigorously.

This period of life which inaugurates the second great change in the physical life of woman, has come to be considered as a time altogether to be dreaded, and should she passthrough it without serious trouble, she feels

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herself exceedingly fortunate. In these pages I wish to deny the correctness of this theory entirely, and show women how much of the sweetness they take out of life by dreading the approach of the climacteric.

Let us define these terms which will so frequently be used throughout this book, and then we will have no misunderstanding.

Between the ages of forty and fifty, woman usually passes the period which has been called by several names all having the same meaning. The term, change of life, has come to be used by the laity, perhaps more commonly, and means in the minds of the unprofessional, just what the physician means by the terms menopause, which signifies the pausing or ceasing of the menstrual or monthly flow, and climacteric, which signifies that a climax of life has been attained. That is, the change from the fruitful or child-bearing period, to the unfruitful or physical resting period .

This time of life in woman was planned by the all-wise Creator, and ample provisions made for a happy and safe passage through it : hence we should not for a moment allow ourselves to think that we are, in approaching this time, coming to a terrible physical Rubicon through which if we are enabled to pass

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without being engulfed, or at least physicallyexhausted, we are indeed to be congratulated .

I am afraid physicians are, without intending it, greatly to blame in allowing women to hold this idea of the climacteric. Why even in our medical books, it is called the critical period, implying the untruth that it is a crisis, through which one may only hope to come with safety, but the probabilities are greatly against it.

Physicians are educators, or should be, and if in the past they have allowed by wrong teaching, this erroneous notion to prevail, they should for the comfort of their patients, set about at once to correct it, and teach the truth about it, that woman may come to this age, with comfort and restfulness, rather than with fear and morbid sensitiveness.

True it is a time of adjustment and change in a woman’s life that needs vigor to carry her through most advantageously and well ; but at this time it calls for little more strength, than do many other emergencies of her life. Woman needs to be well to pass through any ordeal creditably, and surely one for which nature has provided amply should excite no dread.

Again, medical literature has given reports of cases of disease — development and death,

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during the climacteric, which read as if the change were the exciting cause ; while it should have been stated that in the majority of instances, from the work of adjustment to a new order of things in the physical economy, and the consequent lessening of the reserve vital force, this time of life had allowed but an aggravation of an already existing disease or of a tendency to disease.

Also, we must remember that the cases which are so graphically described in our medical literature, are the really sick ones, and that they are recorded for the use of physicians, and are not the type of the large majority of women, as they come to this crossing in their lives. Only the cases of sick women are recorded, the well are not noticed, but they outnumber the former class fifty to one. Bear this in mind, my sisters and cease to worry.

It is safe to say, that should a woman approach the change in her usual health, she has little more cause for dread than at any other season of life. It means simply this. Organs that have been active for a period of thirty years or more, have come to the time when their activity is to cease, and the strength which has been expended in their sustenance and functional activity is to be so

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adjusted as to conserve the strength of the individual through the middle and declining years of life.

It is but stating a truism to say that the procreative powers of man and woman were intended to dominate all the other physical faculties; while they were intended as well to be under the dominion of a consecrated soul and will. Physically these powers, more than any other, influence the entire system, for there is no organ in the body that is not profoundly affected by their functional activity; while the mental and moral being is as surely affected for betterment or for evil, according as these powers are controlled or given license. Then, knowing well how large an influence the procreative nature has in the entire economy, yet we may know as well that He who planned the various organs, and set bounds and limits to their activity, knew how wisely to provide for the individual that she might be tided safely over, from one important period of activity to another.

In some of the lower forms of animal life the individual passes out of existence when once the procreative act has been performed. In the human family but little more than half of the life has been lived when the fruitful period is passed ; hence we can but think that

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a great lesson is here intended. That the span of human life is so lengthened, is, we believe, a testimony, that what may be the better part of life lies before the woman, when she may, through the experience gained, and the sweet lessons patiently learned, be a greater blessing to the young who have not yet come to the child-bearing period, or who lack experience. Further, we believe, this period of larger freedom, when the children are grown or growing, is a breathing time to the mature woman, when she may take up and perfect some of the ambitions of her earlier years.

Nothing is more important to a woman of this age, than to disabuse her mind of the thought that her usefulness is passed, and that henceforth, she may perhaps do some little thing in the line of comfort or of chinkfilling, but may not attempt any great or important work. Her life is but at its meridian, and some of the best, if not the very best work is waiting to be done. Possess yourselves of this thought, dear sisters, and take up your work with renewed vigor and painstaking. Have you learned any lessons in the years passed that have been valuable to you ? Then know for a surety that they may be valuable to some other sister, who may not have

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had your advantages nor your angle of vision, and so may not have learned them. Tell out these lessons whenever you have an opportunity, or can make one, and bless the world in your later years. Are there things that you have longed to do in the days when your hands and heart were full? Then believe that God gives you opportunity now to do them, and go about them with a determination, born of years of rich experience and ripe wisdom ; and depend upon it, you will say, “None of my past years have been richer or more happy or useful than these after the meridian of life.”

I like to read the inspiring words of Longfellow’s poem, “ Morituri Salutamus,” (We who are about to die salute you) and imagine the impressiveness of the occasion upon which he read them to those just starting out in life. An old white-haired man, long, long past the meridian of life, standing before the youth of the school, from which he had graduated fifty years before, and reading some of the most inspiring and helpful words that he had ever written, urging the importance of working on into old age, and citing the great achievements of many, after the natural span of life had been accomplished.

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Listen to a few lines :

** But why, you ask me, should this tale be told To men grown old, or who are growing old ?

It is too late ! Ah, nothing is too late Till the tired heart has ceased to palpitate.

Cato learned Greek at eighty ; Sophocles Wrote his grand CEdipus, and Simonides Bore off the prize of verse from his compeers When each had numbered more than fourscore years,

And Theophrastus at fourscore and ten,

Had but begun his Characters of Men.

Chaucer, at Woodstock with the nightingales,

At sixty wrote the Canterbury Tales;

Goethe at Weimar, toiling to the last,

Completed Faust when eighty years were past. These are indeed exceptions ; but they show How far the gulph-stream of our youth may flow Into the Arctic regions of our lives Where little else than life itself survives.

******

What then ? Shall we sit idly down and say The night hath come ; it is no longer day ?

The night hath not yet come ; we are not quite Cut off from labor by the failing light ;

Something remains for us to do or dare,

Even the oldest tree some fruit may bear.

Not GLdipus Coloneus, or Greek ode,

Or tales of pilgrim that one morning rode Out of the gateway of the Tabard Inn,

But other something would we but begin;

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For age is opportunity no less

Than youth itself, though in another dress,

And as the evening twilight fades away The sky is fdled with stars invisible by day.”

In your earlier years when life was all before you, your heart was filled with dreams of what you should be in your young womanhood, in your very own home, for husband and children. In your later years your heart was filled with the working out of these dreams ; now as one after the other the fledgelings have learned the use of their wings and have flown from the home nest, you are tempted to fold your hands and imagine your life work done. It is not so. Very, very much lies before you. Take it up bravely, and in the strength of Him who makes his strength perfect through our weakness, work out now the best and bravest successes of life.

“ Then of what has been, and what shall be,

Why queriest thou ?

The past and the time to be are one,

And both are now.

** The present, the present is all thou hast,

For thy sure possessing,

Like the patriarch’s angel, hold it fast,

Till it give its blessing.”

— Whittier.

Chapter III. Three Periods Of A Woman’s Life

Three Defined Periods in a Woman’s Life. — The Importance of Period Preceding Puberty. — Relation of Early Habits to Later Aches and Ills. — The Period of Middle Life. — The Menopause. — Importance of Years That Follow. — Difference Between a Furlough for Rest and a Discharge From Future Duty. — How to Secure Rest. — The Third Period Divided into Two Periods. — The Meridian Period and the Table-Lands. — People Who Were Illustrious to Old Age. — Do Not Surrender.— Laying Down the Sword, Taking up the Pen.

A woman’s life is characterized by three well defined periods. While the boundary lines in a normally healthy life are not clearly discerned, yet in gliding never so smoothly from one to the other they are recognized by the distinct characteristics which mark each period.

From childhood to puberty; from puberty to the menopause ; from the menopause to the end of life ; these are the three periods.

We are apt to think of the time from childhood to puberty as a care-free, easy, unevent-

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ful time ; and so it is, apparently, when we do not consider the marvelous physical changes that are silently being wrought, which transform our care-free girls into shy, comely, budding womanhood, with the mysteries of their being taking shape in their questioning, wondering experiences.

Just as our lovely flowers pass from bud to blossom, daily unfolding in their fragrant purity, so should our daughters pass from one stage to another with no experiences to record, save, “ Yesterday I was a child, to-day I am a woman.” With the same thought that is in the gardener’s mind, as he cultivates his choicest plants, that he may make of them things of beauty and perpetuity, so should the mother — alive to all the possibilities, lead her girls in the path towards womanhood, instructing, guiding, warning, ever pointing upward, towards the best, and teaching no satisfaction until the best is attained in their physical, moral and mental natures.

So taught and carefully environed, we have a right to expect the best in our daughters’ lives; and so have we a right to expect for them a healthy middle life, and a safe transition from the second to the third period. Indiscretions at this time will quite likely be felt all through the middle time of

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life, if not to the end. Many unwise mothers allow wrong habits of dress to become fixed in these early years, that hinder development and warp good sense in all the later years. Just here many of the seeds are sown that bring forth a harvest of diseases in the following years, and many things that have been laid to our ancestors remotely distant, are really the results of wrong-doing and living in the first decade and a half of our own lives.

In the middle or second period, which has for years been considered, though wrongly, the high noon of a woman’s life, which wanes towards the setting sun, she will have many responsibilities and cares, all of which will but round out and perfect her womanhood, if she will let them.