Self-reliance : practical studies in personal magnetism, will-power and success, through self-help, or auto-suggestion

Front matter

J/M3 Coates

Practical Srupits

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Preface

Having some reputation as a Hypnotist and an expert student of human nature, I have been written to by many persons for advice and help. Very few of these correspondents have seen or are likely to see me in the flesh. Some of them have been hindered in life by some weakness, habit, or personal difficulty which they had failed to master, and which they — correctly or otherwise— believed hypnotism would remedy. In many cases, however, that was just the kind of help which they could not procure. No reliable operator — medical or lay — could be obtained in the part of the world where they resided. The outlook in many instances appeared to be black. And such have asked — “Can anything be done ? ” “ Can you help me ? ” “ Can I be cured ? — I feel that life is not worth living.”

From the United States of America, Australia, New Zealand, India, Persia, Cape Colony, Natal, The Transvaal; from the Zambesia, the wilds of Ehodesia, the sun-baked lands of the West Indies ; from homes in England, Scotland, and the evergreen fields of Ireland, correspondents appealed for help. As I believe in myself, and in the virtue of Self-Help, I advised them

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PREFACE how to regard their difficulties, and told them how to CURE THEMSELVES.

The labour of writing innumerable letters had to be replaced by a uniform course of type-written lessons, in which the achievement of Self-Reliance was the leading theme. Being thoroughly conscious of the constitutional and cerebral differences in modes of thought and in character of those who wrote to me, the lessons were, when necessary, supplemented by suitable suggestions. The aim sought in both the lessons and the correspondence — whatever the position, education, special profession or trade of the correspondent— was to make the workman the better man, and the man the better workman ; to wish him to be satisfied with nothing less than the best in himself and in his work.

Self-reliant men are respected, believed in ; if opposed, can fight or defend. They are able to ignore the pin-pricks and the trials which upset others. They are able with prethoughtful purpose to overcome opposition, to attract what they desire, friends, affluence and success, while the men lacking Self-Reliance, without grit — the “ miserable sinner, and worm of the earth ” kind, who “ are down on their luck ” — lack the respect and the confidence of their fellows. Expecting to be ill, they are sick : feeling that there is no use in doing anything, they are idle ; expecting to fail, they fail ; expecting to be kicked, they are kicked — when some mean bully gets the chance. Both the self-reliant and the unreliant get what they have believed in and have —

PREFACE

Vll consciously or unconsciously — sought. “ Self-confidence and some degree of push are absolutely necessary for preservation. There is nothing truer than the value men and women put on themselves is the value of the world ; whatever less, never more.”

While teaching my clients to believe in and trust themselves (although the subject bristles with all the profundities of health, vigour, and well-being of the physical organisation ; cerebral psychology ; discrete degrees of consciousness ; the conscious and the subconscious mind, and the “ Double within us, which is wiser than we ” ; the voluntary and involuntary machinery for the manifestation of Self, in which we trust), I have avoided all technicalities and have contented myself with merely pointing out those things which are best to do, in order to create and develop that trust. The lessons taught in this way have brought letters of rejoicing from those who had the faith and the patience to adopt the procedure suggested, and who are to-day enjoying greater physical health, and greater personal Self-control, success, and happiness, than either experienced or even thought possible in the past.

As this volume has been produced in this fashion, a strong, personal, friendly note runs through it ; from its nature there is something of repetition, and no apology is offered for either these or for the egotistical, optimistic style in which it is written. And I am satisfied that no one can read it and carry out its suggestions without being stronger, brighter, happier, and more successful in consequence. And happy is the man — while availing

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PREFACE himself of all the love, light, knowledge, and opportunities which may be his for the seeking — who has learned to trust and believe in himself. And miserable and despondent is the mortal who, instead of being self-reliant, talks about his artistic temperament, ignores honest labour, and looks to and depends on other people to do for him that of which he is quite capable himself, but often too tholeless, lazy, and perhaps too superior and heavenly-minded (?) to do for himself.

Correspondents and the Publishers have alike expressed the desire that these lessons should have a wider circulation, and hence this book. The reader will experience the fullest benefits by simply reading one chapter or lesson by itself and putting the suggestions therein into practice for a fortnight, and then pass on to the next chapter and pursue that course of procedure throughout. Its secrets are for those who wish to be benefited by them. All who have adopted the foregoing course have been benefited, in cultivating those qualities in the human mind underlying success in every sphere of life. It deals with the conquest of Self as the essential preliminary to conquest of life. It will help those who mean to help themselves. I trust that these pages, dealing mainly with Self- Reliance, will prove as beneficial to my readers, as the views underlying them have been to correspondents and to myself.

JAMES COATES.

Glenbeg House, Rothesay, Scotland.

Chapter I

Self-reliance a power of the mind which all possess — Defined by metaphysicians — Without Self-reliance progress in any calling impossible — Self-reliance is not Self-assurance or boasting — By Self-reliance one’s belief in one’s God-given powers is enhanced — The main factors of Self-reliance are Health, Self-esteem, Firmness, Courage, and Faith in Self — Health of body is the physical foundation of well-being — The physical conditions of health — The first essential air — The next water — The third food — Self-esteem one of the lost virtues — Humility another name for cowardice — “ Great men and women are humble ” — Personal Self-abasement and cant no part of manliness — Self-esteem a factor demanding Success — Self-conceit not to be confounded with Self-reliance — Self-reliance has its ambitions — Vanity without work will not feed one — Firmness a factor in Self-reliance — “I can and I will ” — The faculty of Firmness in all — Wibblywobbly persons never successful — Women love men who have minds of their own — Young men drift for want of Firmness — The kind of Self-reliance which enabled Luther to go to Worms possessed Courage — Self-reliance without Courage would be salt without savour — To cultivate Courage begin with oneself — One cannot be thorough without Courage — To develop Self-reliance one should cultivate Self-respect, Confidence, Firmness, and Courage — Concentration allied to Firmness — Concentration essential to success— A vacillating mind never accomplished anything — The man of steady purpose rises gradually and surely — Picture in the mind’s eye the Self-reliant man — Think of Self as Self-reliant — The inner force, called Faith in Self

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CHAPTER II SELF-RELIANCE OR FAITH IN SELF — continued

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Self-reliance essential to progress in every sphere of life — In work, in play — Stanley Jackson a living example — To succeed in life one must cultivate Faith or Confidence in himself — Faith in Self an essential feature in Self-reliance — Is a matter of growth, but the growth must have a beginning — No real Self-control and development without reflection' — Difficulties and drawbacks do not hinder progress — By Faith in Self one gets at one’s best — Stanley a man of Faith — The “gangin’ fit aye gets ” — Faith in Self honours God and ennobles man — It is the faith that does and dares — Believe in yourself — “Nothing ventured, nothing won” — Avoid false modesty, which prevents performance — “ I can” and “ I will,” contrasted with “ I am afraid,” “ I’d rather not ” — The power of relationship to the Over-Soul — Faith in Self a stimulus to right effort — Faith in the Unseen and in ourselves an elevating faith — Faith in Self communicates itself to others — It is not health, wealth, success, or happiness, but a means by which to demand them — Mental vision of the healthy and clean man — Lay a good foundation in physical health — Attitudes which indicate the possession of qualities which make for Self-reliance — There is no false pride in Self-confidence — Personal Magnetism attracts — Thoughts which make for Health, Wealth, Happiness, Wisdom, and Manhood — Exulting in the joy of life 20

Chapter III Personal Magnetism And Self-culture

What is Personal Magnetism ? — Types of men who possess it — Personal Magnetism is the fruitage of a vigorous mind and a healthy body — Four methods of attainment — Opportunity only comes to those on the look-out — The case of a successful actor — Where there is no living interest, there is no Personal Magnetism — “A Word to the Junior Clerk, by the Senior Partner ” — A successful publisher — Opportunities and influence secured by working for them — The qualities which make for Success in the army — Major General Sir Alfred Turner, K.C.B. — The advice of Sir Ian Hamilton — xi

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Success and non-success in mechanics — The successful musician — To be master of men, one must be master of Self — The weak link — Personal Magnetism includes Moral Courage and Self-reliance — There is no such word as fail in the Golden Lexicon of the Student of Personal Magnetism —

The case of the Right Hon. John Burns— The old methods of business dying out — The old qualities for Success never die out — The kind of men who fail — The man who succeeds —

The small things that hinder— The doyen of the medical profession in Glasgow — Two valuable assets, character and ability— It is not money, it is character which makes for Success — Reverses test character — Sir Walter Scott — The Scottish Banks — Who are the men to succeed ? — Some hints on the cultivation of Personal Magnetism . . . .36

CHAPTER IV PERSONAL MAGNETISM AND SELF-CULTURE — continued

This an age of enterprise — The man most in demand — Enterprise means square dealing with promptitude — The people love strength and admire enterprise— The lucky and unlucky man — The strong, healthy-minded man, who is tactful and agreeable, is a magnetic person — The agreeable “Father Confessor ” — The man of tact does not talk about himself — He is welcome everywhere — How to be tactful — Feel agreeable and be it — Boasting a sign of weakness — Tact is the power by which we place ourselves most sympathetically in touch with our fellows — Man was made to enjoy life and give joy — Thomas Carlyle on Cheerfulness — If you want to be a magnetic personality, think, grow, and live cheerfully — Thackeray compared the world to a looking-glass — The late Mr Peabody’s Advice re Appearance — Manners and Appearance reflect habits — * 1 Honesty is the best policy ” — Straight dealing pays — The best impressions to make on clients — The world has need of you and the best in you — Banish care and worry by present healthy occupation — It is yourself ivith whom you have to deal — The broad principles — Mind governs matter— A Sane and Healthy Manhood to be prized — Benjamin Franklin — Keys on which to play the manly tune of a real sound life — Auto-suggestions of Health, Success, and Happiness — Self-Help is the Greatest of all Help . 54 xii ANALYSIS OF CONTENTS

CHAPTER Y

SUCCESS AND SOME METHODS OF ITS ATTAINMENT

Wliat Success is and what it is not — A life which sweetens, uplifts, cheers, is the successful life — Pseudo-Success — The hustle and rush, the gambling spirit to be avoided — Some successes the blankest of failures — The possession or want of wealth no indication of the possession or want of morals, manhood, character, and ability — Real Success is proportionate to the possession of Self-reliance — The Success in life which makes a “ muck rake” of a man — Success based on the unfolding of whatever is best in a man — Success does not mean the elimination of the brute but the mastery — Success means the subordination of our feelings and emotions to the position of servants — The folly of hypnotising ourselves to failure — Don’t worry — Work worries ; pace kills the unsuccessful man — Every position in life has its drawbacks — Do your best now — Leave the future alone — Sowing and reaping — Take the consequences like a man — Lord Palmerston’s advice — Where your interest lies there you will concentrate your energies — Some valuable hints — Prompt and Willing Obedience and Silence — Conditions underlying these lessons — Issue orders to yourself and obey them— The power and value of Silence — The foundations on which to build : Obedience and Silence — Not what a man says, but what he does, tells — Silence and Tact prove true friends — The advantages of Silence — Tact, the patient and courteous consideration of others — Believe in yourself — Never talk about yourself — One’s attitude in religious matters — In matters of religion let every man think for himself —

‘ ‘ Sensible men are all of the same religion ” remarks Waldenshare in Endymion —The man who reserves his

OPINION HAS GOT HOLD OF THE KEY TO SUCCESS — “ Tile silent man is the strong man, and wins all along the line ” — Soul, brain, and body — Mind and body are united in this life ; whatever benefits the one helps the other — The stepping stones to Success in life are Temperance, Self-control, Moderation, and Reasonable Reserve — In living one’s best life one is sure to live their happiest and longest life — No mere physical cleanliness will make up for impurity of mind — Man can guide himself into health of body and power of

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mind, if he so decides— Work is the realisation of Thought in practice— Prayer is aspiration — Carlyle on Silence . 72

Chapter VI

It is by one step at a time that the roughest road is covered or the most difficult hill ascended — Do not practise ardently for a week or a month and then lose interest — Private life is the foundation of all public Successes and Failures — The acquirement of a strong Will, of right habits, in private life essential — Whatever you decide to do, you will do — What is habit ? — Habit, illustrated by “ Impulse” — Whatever is undesirable must be conquered by new habits — W E are able to manage others

BEST IN PROPORTION AS WE ARE ABLE TO CONTROL OUR- SELVES—“ Keep the mouth shut and breathe through the nose” — Men of force, firmness, strength of will keep the mouth shut — Self-control, reserve , indicated by the shut mouth — The health advantages of breathing properly — The danger to health through breathing improperly — Persistent effort should overcome old habit in four weeks — The practical realisation of Self-poised manhood — Breathe deeply and live long — How to practise Deep Breathing — The advantages to Health, Self-Control, and Will-power 93

Chapter VII

how to cultivate will-pow er — continued

The probable quantity of air breathed daily — “To breathe is to live” — The nostrils as air filters — By correct breathing Personal Magnetism is developed — The constituent properties of the air — Breathing consists of the inhalation of oxygen and the expiration of carbonic acid gas — Full, deep, and continuous breathing necessary to well-being — Ordinary and deep breathing explained — Vital and maximum capacity of the lungs — Tidal, complimental, and residual air — Nature’s object lesson in breathing — Breathe as the lark breathes, in a full -chested manner — A few of the benefits which come from correct breathing — The secret of Long Life — The method of procedure — Personal Magnetism a real

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PAGE thing — How it is wasted — Cultivate the Art of Restfulness — Bathing and other hygenic hints — The importance of Rest and Sleep — Methods to cure sleeplessness — Work and Rest —

The mid-day rest — The value of personal Self-control . . 106

Chapter VIII

Hygienically and mentally there is no more simple, valuable, or important exercise to develop the Will than correct breathing — Breathing exercises are the first step to Magnetic Control and Personal Influence — You appreciate the Self-reliant, energetic man — What you really admire you can become —

Will is a mode of motion of the Intellectual Faculties —

Will is the executive function of the mind — The difference between a man of weak and one of strong will — The cowardly employment of self-deception — You will do bight because you have so decided — The will may be simple or compound — Dr Gall’s definition — A simple illustration— Take the lesson home — Cut yourself loose from old habits at once — Will is strengthened by the honest, by the conscious conviction of the necessity — Success in life means being able to adapt oneself to one’s relationship in life — No time should be wasted over the impracticable —

How to succeed — Act without question on the hints given you — The greatest victory of all is the conquest of Self 119

Chapter IX Defects Of Will, And How To Cube Them

Some defects of Will and how to remedy them — “It is not hearers of the word, but the doers of it shall be saved ” — The difference between the Wise and the Foolish — The career of the Foolish entails suffering on others — The sufferings of the Wise are compensatory — The Wise Man — Both the Wise and the Foolish exercise Will-power, with a difference as to quality and motive — Some things to think about— You have the shaping of your attitude of mind — When the Intellectual faculties act together they constitute the true Will — A boy’s Will — A man’s Will— Will is the Intellect and the xv

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Intellect is the Will — Features in Will which can be improved— Whether the desire is noble or ignoble, it is the Will which makes the choice — What some mistake for a Weak Will may only be some defect in the executive powers of the Will — You must realise as a fact in experience that you always do better when you try — The executive forces of the Will — Steady perseverance spells Success — Some defects to be guarded against — Two common errors, under-estimating and over-estimating oneself — The evils and the remedies — Defeat is distressing to weak minds — The spirit in which to manage oneself — Never say “ I can’t,” without HONESTLY DOING THE “I CAN ” — What to do . .133

Chapter X Moderation The Key To Self-control And Health

‘ Tone of mind depends on vigour of organisation ” — Apparent exceptions — The “Continuity of power” — The discussion as to the essential nature of mind can be left to the metaphysician — Mind affected by states of the body — Personal Magnetism and development of Will-power, based on Moderation — Moderation is temperance in all things which are good — Success comes to him who labours for it — Hustling, sensitive, suffering people, who try everything — except moderation — Moderation the universal remedy —

Work while tvorking ; play while playing ; rest while resting — Mental rest obtained by change of occupation — Brain REst The power and value of Sleep — If Sleep be laggard, court it — The man who thinks he cannot sleep, gets it that way —

Sleep imperative, howto get it — Stomach Rest — “A tired man has a tired stomach ” — As an exercise of Will-power, control Appetite — Some health hints easy to remember — It is wise to suit one’s diet to one’s condition — Some sensible hints about diet — Exclusive diets are a mistake — The pseudoteetotaler— Auto-suggestions of fear and fancy — Some facts about vegetarians — Less Self-pity and more Self-control the Remedy for Dyspepsia — It is really less important what ONE EATS as when— The Law of Moderation— The devotee of the “Simple Life” — Water and milk are man’s most natural and useful drinks — Advice about drinking —

The excessive use of alcoholic liquids injurious — The habitual use of alcohol is a fertile cause of disease — Fruit juices, xvi ANALYSIS OF CONTENTS

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“ grateful and comforting” — There is safety in moderation— Over-eating, over-sleeping the cause of failures in life — For Success in Life Stomach Rest as essential as Brain Rest 148

Chapter XI

Take stock before taking next step — Do not put your light under a bushel — The man who would succeed if he had “Influence” — Reputation brings influence, work, and success — Some cases from a note-book— No royal road to Selfmastery without persistent plodding and endeavour — An interesting case from India — Failure from attempting too much — How to overcome want of concentration — A case of a busy physician — The busy man can always find time to do more —

The spirit in which to work — In science no fact is insignificant— Using odd moments to cultivate the Will — It is not the man who does what he likes, but the man who likes what he has to do, succeeds — The case of the young officer who succeeded — Lesson therefrom — It is the resolute, cheerful spirit, guided by intelligence, which creates Success — Concentration a function of the whole intellectual faculties — There is always something which one man can do better than another — Be yourself — Bring freshness into work — Failures in health and business due to impatience — Be bright, be fresh, be willing — Periods of inaction injurious to success — The way to keep fit as well as well . . . .171

Chapter XII

How to study your lesson and read with purpose — Memory improvement— Select books suited to your profession, etc. — Without right thinking there is no Success — The love of idleness, not labour, a curse— The punishments of God are blessings— Labour will not degrade, misapplication, indifference will — “No one is so maimed or imprisoned but God has a bit of work for him to do ” — The unemployed are mostly degenerates — The blessings of labour — Some points to note— Every man who comes into the world is entitled to a living — A sane, well-nourished state of being— Health,

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Wealth, and Success are the prizes to be obtained as the fruits of labour — Fear of any kind is bad — Self-consciousness — The fear of a fear — Various phases of Self-consciousness — Coarse natures hindered by vices ; the more refined by Self-consciousness — Tolstoy — Opportunities abroad — Human wrecks on the shores of Empire — New thought teachers — Erroneous conceptions — Cheerful, positive, and optimistic thoughts — An exercise for disciplining thought and strengthening the body — Disappointments — Putting oneself in the way of Success 188

Chapter XIII Concentration, Order, And Punctuality

The man who is a self-confessed failure — The power of continuity — The hustling man — No amount of hustling makes up for lack of business experience — Concentration — Failure from attempting too much — Hustling a fallacy of the first order —

It is not the hustler, but the man who concentrates who succeeds — The qualities required in general business and retail concerns— Methods to develop concentration — “ Wool-gathering”— Advertising and insurance agents, canvassers, commission agents, and travellers — The orderly, prompt man writes Success and gets it — Lack of Order, including Method and Procrastination — Some causes — The boy who mislays things handicapped in after life by want of Order — Pseudo Self-condolence — The class of men not to be trusted — An Auto-suggestion exercise to cure defects in Order — Want of Order associated with want of Punctuality —

The procrastinator an unlucky man — * ‘ Max O’Rell ” on Luck — The lucky man — The way to cure procrastination — A procrastinating man unsuccessful — The deliberate cultivation of Concentration, Order, and Punctuality — Influence and Success— Do it now 205

Chapter XIV

Suggestion and Auto-suggestion — The brain — Man does not live on bread alone — The subtile relationship of mind and brain — No two brains alike — A brief outline of habits — The xvill

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double -within us which is wiser than we — Look for the “ bit of blue” — What we suggest to oukselves (to-day) we become (to-morrow) — Psycho-therapeutic Suggestion — Non-comatose Suggestion — The power of suggestion to self — Constipation and Sleeplessness — Professor Elmer Gates on various mental states — Beauty and Comeliness — It is never too late to mend — Auto-suggestion explained — Works good or ill as directed — Miraculous healing — Dr Saleeby on Faith-healing— Attitude of mind cures — Faith and hope — As you think so yon will be — Auto-suggestion proved — Dr Tuke on Mental Causation of disease — The mind translates itself into flesh and blood — A healthy mind and body man’s normal state in the world — Cheerful confidence the great architect — The good of conscious suggestion — How to repel animal sensations of cold and depression — I am well — Auto-suggestion means those impressions which toe create in self, when toe are in a susceptible state — The aim of previous modes of procedure leading up to the correct practice of non-comatose Auto-suggestions 224

Chapter XV Non-comatose Auto-suggestion ; Physical Modes

A few cases which have been successfully treated by non-comatose Auto-suggestion — Real and false limitations of the human mind — A serious case of obsession by “a fixed idea ” — Simple hygienic directions — Graduated course of Auto-suggestions— A serious case of ‘ ‘ hearing voices ” — Medical treatment valueless — An instance of what Non-comatose Auto-suggestion can accomplish — The drug habit and its cure — Self-treatment by Suggestion — A good example of what Auto-suggestion can do when medicinal treatment fails — Numerous other cases where Auto-suggestion the most reliable remedy — Cases which cannot be cured — Those who can be cured — Non-comatose Suggestion applied — Physical Auto-suggestion — Pugilistic and devotional attitudes — The practical application — How to suggest Determination, Courage, Self-reliance to oneself — Personal Magnetism as the art of pleasing — Physical Auto-suggestions of neatness, order, and taste — The loud-mouthed drummer — The postures of superciliousness—A moderate share of ordinary politeness a valuable asset — Thought expresses itself in action — The great xix

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secret of the power of Auto-suggestion — Our success or failure determined by our thinking — The four great things which we can achieve — Auto-suggestion a process of thinking done with a definite object — The four great processes — Attention, Repetition, Expectation, and Practice — Suggestion

RULES THE WORLD, AND YOU HOLD THE KEY . . . 249

CHAPTER XVI NON-COMATOSE AUTO-SUGGESTION ( Continued ) — MENTAL MODES

Modes of preparation and procedure — Mental defects as amenable to cure as bodily diseases — Thoughts become actions — Change your Auto-suggestion and you change yourself— How to prepare your Auto-suggestions — The importance of fixing impressions — Instructive instance — Memory —

How to carry out Non-coma tose Suggestions — Thanks for your lessons ; I am a new man — How to place yourself in a quiescent state — Suggestions for the treatment of Chronic Insomnia — Self-consciousness — Mode of procedure for increasing Self-reliance 266

INSOMNIA

AUTO-SUGGESTIONS for insomnia

Re-enforcement by physical modes — Anticipatory Suggestions —

Conduct and procedure during day — Things which help . 272

SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS

AUTO-SUGGESTIONS FOR NERVOUS TIMIDITY, SHYNESS, WANT OF CONFIDENCE, BACKWARDNESS, ETC.

Auto-suggestions and modes of procedure — Mental Re-enforcement— Physical modes — General directions . . .277 auto-suggestions for the cultivation of self-reliance,

INCLUDING SELF-ESTEEM, FIRMNESS, COURAGE, AND FAITH IN SELF

Auto-suggestions of Health and Self-esteem, with procedure — Self-assured re-enforcement by mental vision—

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Suggestions of Firmness and Courage — Mental vision, re-enforcement of Health, Self-esteem, Firmness, and Courage Auto-suggestions — What to think about and how to act — See yourself, A man making the best of yourself and opportunities— Special directions— Practical re-enforcemnt — Some material out of which to coin healthy, moral, and spiritual Suggestions — Some more secrets — Do mind what you think yourself — Concluding thoughts 280

telepathy and success

Minds are influenced and disease cured en distance — The finer forces and powers of the mind — Telepathy applied to business — Examples of procedure 291

Chapter I

“ Self-reliance and self-denial will teach a man to drink out of his own cistern, and eat his own sweet-bread, and learn to labour truly to get his own living and carefully to save and expend the good things committed to his trust.” — Lord Bacon.