Plain thoughts on the art of living; designed for young men and women

Preface

TV /r OST of these essays were originally de- -»-▼-■- livered as lectures to young men and women. They were afterward rewritten and printed in the Springfield Republican, under the title "Plain Talks with Young Folks in a Parson's Study." This statement will explain, though it may not excuse, their colloquial style, and their somewhat magisterial tone.

As elsewhere printed, these homilies have been received with all the favor they deserve. The author desires, in this place, to make grateful acknowledgment of the many kind words concerning them which have come to him from strangers, and to express the hope that the more permanent form which is now given them may serve to enlarge and confirm their usefulness.

North Adams, July 8, 1868.

Contents

PAGE

I. . The Messenger without a Message . , i

II. Work for Women

II. Work For Women

'Y/riSS ANNA DICKINSON demands that poor •^^■^ women shall have "something to do." There is need that somebody should make the same demand in behalf of women who are not poor. Undoubtedly the conditions of society which this noble woman so eloquently bewails are to be greatly lamented ; but let us save part of our tears for those unfortunate women in the higher circles of society who have nothing to do.

Not long ago I read in some newspaper of fashion an elaborate argument to prove that women ought not to work. The writer did not seem to think that work was dishonorable; but in his view it marred the beauty and delicacy of women, and therefore they ought not to engage in it. His notion was that women ought to be kept as you keep wax flowers, under a glass cover ; that they ought to be fed upon honey and whipped syllabub, and handled with the utmost caution. This doctrine has had many votaries, but few advocates. The practice of a large number of womq.n has been in accordance with this theory ; but not many persons of either sex have had the hardihood to promulgate and defend the theory. I have no doubt the dexterous logic of this hyperchivalrous young man carried comfort to the foolish women of our fashionable society, who live in idleness, and whose consciences must sometimes upbraid them for their manner of living. The young ladies of what is called the best society have commonly been educated in accordance with this theory. They have been taught just as few useful things as possible, and just as many of the superficialities as they had patience to learn ; the solid branches of education have been stricken from their courses of study, because they required too much work ; the dear delicate creatures must not be encouraged to think much, lest their mental faculties should gain some vigor, and they should become obnoxious to the terrible charge of masculinity. So with regard to practical life. They have not been trained for any useful occupation j even housewifery has been under the ban of fashionable opinion. Some fashionable young ladies, it is true, have learned to do housework ; but part of them have concealed the fact because they were ashamed of it ; and others have boasted of it as if it were a kind of eccentricity. There have been many excellent families in the higher circles, in which a different practice has prevailed ; but they have been exceptions to the general rule.

I do not think that this treatment of young women has always been based upon the theory that work is dishonorable. There has not been much theorizing on the subject; but the main reason of it has been the notion referred to, that physical labor and mental activity destroy the bloom and tenderness of the fair creatures, and make them less "interesting" and captivating to men. It is for assthetical, and not moral, reasons that women have been forbidden to work. De gustibus nan est disputandum. So far as it is a question of taste, there is no use in quarrelling about it. If any one thinks that young women who grow up under this hot-house culture, with tender and fragile bodies, and weak and shallow minds, are more beautiful and engaging than those who have gained both for their bodies and their minds some vigor by the disciphne of work, he is not only welcome to his opinion, but, so far as I am concerned, he is welcome to as many young ladies of the former class as he will keep and care for. I don't think he will be able to manage more than one. As a mere matter of taste, however, it seems to me that a girl whose frame has been strengthened by a rational amount of physical activity, and whose cheek wears the bloom of a fresh and vigorous life, is far more

B beautiful than the pale, frail lily of the boudoir. Frederick Robertson has said in one of his letters all that I want to say, and I shall quote him : —

" I must acknowledge the truth of what you say, in the main, that I do not admire any one who is not in robust health. Of course, I must bate a little exaggeration in the form of statement ; but I acknowledge that I think health more beautiful than ill-health, and a normal state more pleasant than an abnormal. There may be some apparent exceptions to the rule, as in the case of recovery from illness there is a certain delicacy which is very attractive ; but then it is the first flush of health which gives the beauty, just like that which makes spring more interesting than summer. Still, it is not merely delicacy that is beautiful; but delicacy pervaded by health, and conquered by it, — life in its first fresh rising, like a new childhood ; but I acknowledge that I cannot acquire the sickly taste of admiring the delicacy of ill-health. Beauty, in my eyes, depends upon association ; and delicacy that calls up one's knowledge of morbid anatomy, and suggests the thought of disordered functions, and abnormal states, and physicians' attendance, never affects me with a sense of beauty. This may not be a fashionable view, but I am certain it is a sound and healthy one, fresh from nature's heart."

As a matter of taste, also, it seems to me that a woman whose mental faculties are well trained and developed, who has some knowledge of affairs, and some opinions of her own, is more "interesting" than one who knows nothing beyond the narrow range of fashionable topics. Strong-minded women may not always be attractive, but I decidedly prefer them to the weak-minded ones.

Nothing is more certain than that this wholesome vigor of body and mind are only attained by the discipline of work. And, therefore, if woman were only designed for ornamental purposes, if her only mission were to minister to the aesthetic enjoyments of mankind, the way to fit her for the best fulfilment of that design would be to give her a rational amount of work to do.

But this is not merely a question of taste. I suppose that woman is designed to be something more than an ornament in society. Her calling is higher and nobler than this. She is to be a helpmeet for man, — his partner in useful and beneficent activity. The Divine Master himself said, " My Father worketh hitherto and I work '' ; and in the record of the creation we are told that God created man in his own image, male and female. Woman, as well as man, is made in the image of God, and it can hardly be expected that she will find her highest happiness if she

20 Plain Thoughts 07i the Art of Living,

does not equally with man fulfil the divine law and copy the divine example by choosing for herself some honest and productive work.

The law of labor is a universal law. Among persons who have health and reason there are no exempts. Wealth does not exonerate you from work, neither does genius, neither does beauty, neither do accomplishments. You can put in no plea whatever that will be an effectual bar to the claim that God has upon you for a whole life of earnest labor. Nothing but age or physical weakness or mental imbecility can release you from the obligation to earn your own living. No human being has any right to eat the bread of idleness. And yet how many young women there are in the circles of wealth and fashion who do literally eat the bread of idleness. They never lift a finger toward their own support. They never eat a morsel of food, they never wear a ribbon of clothing, that they have earned for themselves. This way of living is disgraceful, whoever follows it. I hope that none of you will ever live to see the day when you will not have work to do that shall occupy the larger share of your waking time. I hope that none of you will ever be compelled to labor incessantly, without rest or relaxation, for all work and no play is almost — not quite — as bad as all play and no work ; but you ought to have enough labor to perform to give sweetness to repose and zest to recreation.

Of course it is not absolutely essential that every person should be employed in manual labor ; though a moderate degree of that would certainly be a benefit. Vigorous physical exercise every woman ought to have, and if it can be taken in the way of work, so much the better. It is no disgrace to you, young women, to be found working with your hands. But there are useful avocations in which the labor is mental rather than manual, and these are just as honorable, and no more honorable, than those of the other class. Young women so employed have no right to arrogate to themselves any pre-eminence over other honest workers ; neither have other honest workers any right to call in question the validity of their commission. There is sometimes a jealousy or misunderstanding between the two classes of workers, — those who labor with their brains and those who labor with their hands. The mental workers sometimes regard the manual workers as beneath them, and the manual workers stigmatize the mental workers as idlers and shirkers ; but both are wrong. The young woman who has chosen the work of teaching -^whether she teaches the spellingbook, or the piano, or any fine art — has no right

22 Plain Thoughts oit the Art of Living,

to assume any superiority to the house domestic or the factory operative, provided the latter does her work as conscientiously and as faithfully as the former. And, on the other hand, the house servant or the factory operative has no right to upbraid the teacher with disobedience to the law of labor, because the latter labors with brain instead of muscle.

" Honor and shame from no conditions rise : Act well your part, there all the honor lies."

And yet I dare say there are many young women, who would not be ashamed of teaching as a calling, but who would be ashamed to have it known that by sewing or by any other kind of manual labor they gained a livelihood. What a foolish shame ! And I am sorry to believe that there are others who are even ashamed to let people know that they follow for a livelihood a calling so respectable as that of teaching. I know a young lady, whose father failed in business, and who was obliged partly to support herself by teaching, and yet she so carefully covered her tracks, and so equivocated, when questioned about her whereabouts during the daytime, that many of her friends did not find out the fact for months. Perhaps there are few young women in New England who have such false notions concerning work, but in other parts of the land there are too many of them.

Although they are compelled to work, they are unwilling that people should know that they do not live in idleness, fed and clothed and supported entirely by money earned for them by the hard labor of somebody else, — parent or ancestor or husband. Ashamed of work 1 Ashamed to have it known that you earn your own living! I tell you, young women, that of all the wicked and contemptible notions society puts into your heads, this is the wickedest and most contemptible. Who sent you into this world to sit in idleness, while all the rest of God's universe are at work? Who authorized you to live at your ease upon the toils of other people.^ Who gave you permission to suffer those natural powers of yours, which can only be developed by work, to be dwarfed and withered by disuse ? Instead of its being a disgrace to you to earn your living by work, it is a burning shame to you if you do not.

You think I use pretty strong language. Perhaps I do. But I know I only half express myself For it is impossible for me to find, in the English language or any other language, any words that begin to set forth the contempt I feel for any able-bodied human being, male or female, who attempts to live in this world without earning a living, either by brain or muscle.

There are just two exceptions to this law. The one is the case of children and youth who are pursuing courses of education. The other is the case of those persons who, possessing a competence by inheritance, or as the fruit of previous labor, choose to spend their time, not in earning their daily bread, but in labors of charity. No one is relieved by the possession of riches of the obligation to work ; but if you are rich, it is your right, if indeed it is not your duty, to turn your labors aside from the channels of accumulation into the channels of benevolence. These, with the cases before mentioned of the aged, the sick, and the imbecile, are the only exceptions I know to the law, "In the sweat of thy face thou shalt eat thy bread."

" But what shall we do ? " I hear you ask. " Noble avocations without number await laborers from among men. But what shall women do ? " Whatever they can do well. The foolish customs of society have excluded women from many avocations that they would have adorned. But it is not necessary for you to be governed by these antiquated whims of society. Modestly but earnestly claim for yourselves the right to do whatever work you can do well, and to receive therefor the same wages that men receive. Men can help but httle in this matter if you do not help yourselves, and when you do help yourselves there will be plenty to help you. We might have argued and debated for centuries about the fitness of women for the medical profession, without coming to any agreement, had not two or three women, hj braving the prejudice against them, and toiling on year after year, amidst discouragement and ridicule, earned the diploma of the faculty, and settled the question. The number of those who will devote themselves to this calling will yearly increase ; and ^i\.^ years hence the world will wonder how people could have lived so long without female physicians. So it will be in other callings; but each one must have its pioneers, and young women must not be scared from their purpose to follow the work they love best and can do best by that hydra-headed monster. Public Opinion.

Let me not, -however, disparage in your thought that one particular calling, in which the larger share of your sex find employment, — the calling of housewifery. While you may qualify yourselves to earn your livelihood in other fields of labor, I would not have you look with contempt upon this noble avocation. For as I account the work of the husbandman to be the noblest of all the secular callings that men follow, so do I regard the work of the housewife as the noblest of all the callings that are open to women. Secular, do I say.? Nay, there are few callings more sacred. While there is hardly another work that gives more scope for the mind, there is absolutely no other that requires a better, heart. Manual skill the most practised, scientific knowledge the most thorough, artistic taste the most delicate and exquisite, must be combined in the character of the ideal housewife with moral grace and gentleness and strength. Whoever presides over a household, wisely ordering its affairs and keeping its multiform and discordant interests in harmony, does not eat the bread of idleness, though but a small portion of the manual labor of the house be performed by her hands. If there is any woman on earth who earns her living, it is the faithful housekeeper.

The next best place to heaven is hotne. The one is a house not made with hands, but woman is the architect of the other. Not of the brick walls and windows and partitions, but of the content and comfort and peace, and the nameless and numberless other delights which we mean when we speak that sweet word. Home. We should have no such word in the language, were it not for woman. She who hath builded one home, who hath laid the foundations thereof in prudence, and reared upon them such walls of shelter and defence as can be fashioned of truth and integrity, and hath woven the roof of hospitality, and hath stored it with industry, and warmed it with love, and lighted it with cheerfulness, hath created a temple whose memory shall endure when the proud structures of Wren and Angelo have returned to dust and chaos. The world has no higher honor to bestow upon any woman than to make her mistress of a happy home. The homes of a people are the sources of its national life. If they are pure and peaceful, the nation will be prosperous and powerful. Thus do women take the destinies of people into their hands j thus do they mould and fashion empires and republics at their will.

When the first temple was built at Jerusalem, the work was all done in distant and diverse parts of the kingdom. Here were men chiselling stones, there they were carving pillars, and yonder they were fashioning capitals, so that at length, when the workmen had all finished their work and brought it to Jerusalem, the structure went up noiselessly, and "there was neither hammer nor axe nor any tool of iron heard in the house while it was in building." So in the homes throughout the land, women are fashioning the pillars and ornaments and lively stones of the temple of society. The fabric goes up noiselessly, and the names of the builders are not always widely known in this world, but they shall have their reward when the kingdom that can be shaken shall pass away, and the kingdom that cannot be moved shall rest upon its everlasting foundations.

But not only is there work for you at home. To you are especially intrusted the gentle ministries of charity and consolation. God has commissioned you to care for the sick and the suffering; you have a double endowment of the delicate tact and sympathy which are needed for the right performance of this most sacred task. In ten thousand dwellings, where ignorance and poverty dwell, there is work for you. Gather the starving children about you; and while you relieve their physical wants, unfold for them the eternal mysteries, and teach them what life is and what are its duties and its promises. You do not know what wreaths of blessing are blossoming for you in these lowly places ! You do not know what sweet incense of gratitude might ascend to the throne of the All-merciful, bringing down gladness upon your heads ! Are not the sincere benedictions of Christ's poor worth more to you than the compliments of curled and jewelled dandies?

In the church of the living God there is work for you. He has sent you to preach the Gospel in the silences of domestic life, in the ears of those who are too busy or too giddy to hear it from any lips but yours. Are ye not all this world's ministering spirits, sent forth to minister to them who shall be heirs of salvation ?

It does not seem to me, young women, that your " sphere " is a narrow one, even as society is at present constituted. Putting together its two hemispheres of industry and charity, it appears to be about as large as most of you can worthily fill. And now let me finish this chapter with words that were written several years ago by one who was at that time, I believe, an operative in a New England mill, — whose faculties were trained to some purpose, as the words themselves will witness, by the disciphne of work, and who has now passed to her proper throne in the centre of a happy household: —

" Work ! while thy pulse with full vigor is beating, Toil and temptations with cheerfulness meeting; Work! for the day He has given thee is fleeting,—

All the good angels will smile on thy toil; When thou wouldst stumble their strength shall uphold thee; Lovingly will their white pinions enfold thee ; God from his bright throne will lean to behold thee; Sunshine and shower he will send on the soil.

''Work! 'tis the lesson all nature is preaching; Lift the dim minds through the darkness upreaching; Gladden sad hearts by thy life's blessed teaching;

Scatter truth broadcast at morning and even. Bright is the crown that rewardeth thy striving; Better the great world should be for thy living; Give, and thy store shall increase with the giving ; Sow, and the harvest shall ripen in heaven.

* So when thy toiling and striving is over, When the green turf shall thy pulseless heart cover,

30 Plain Thoughts on the A^'t of Living.

Round thy low grave shall blest memories hover;

Gratitude's tears shall be dropped on thy stone. And when thou stand'st at the dread bar of heaven, Trembling and shrinking, a sinner unshriven, Christ o'er thy record shall write, * 'T is forgiven ' ;

God will approvingly whisper, ' Well done ! ' "

III. Dress

I SHALL not trouble you with many quotations, but when I find one as good as this which follows you will be glad to get it : —

" The highest distinction of man as an . animal among animals lies, not in his two-handedness or in his erect figure, but in his necessity and right of dress. The inferior animals have no option concerning their outward figure and appearance. Their dress or covering is a part of their organization, growing on them or out of them, as their bones are grown within. Be it feathers or fur or wool, — be it in this color or that, — brilliant as the rainbow or shaggy or grizzled or rusty or dull, they have no liberty to change it, even if they could desire the change, for one that is glossier and more to their taste. But man, as a creature gifted with a larger option, begins at the very outset to show his superior dignity in the necessary option of dress. It is given him for his really high prerogative to dress himself, and come into just what form of appearing will best satisfy his tastes, or, what is very nearly the same thing, will best represent the quality of his feeling and character." ^

This conversation is not, then, about a trivial subject. If I take it for granted that the young folks, and especially the young women, are somewhat interested in it, my supposition will be no disparagement of their good sense.

Dress has an obvious and close relation to character. The correspondence between the inner and outer man is often apparent. Qualities of mind and heart display, themselves in the apparel. There are many exceptions to the rule, but it is the rule that well-behaved people, whether they be rich or poor, are well-dressed people. When the morals of a man begin to deteriorate you can often discover the fact in his dress. It may be as stylish and as costly as before, but it will begin to look unkempt and slovenly. And not only does character express itself in dress, but dress reacts upon character. There is some truth, after all, in the absurd parody of Pope's line,

"Dress makes the man, the want of it the fellow."

Care and painstaking in regard to one's external appearance, if they be not excessive, tend to rectify and perfect his internal habits. If you are tidily and tastefully dressed, you feel better contented with

* Bushnell's "Christ and his Salvation," p. 413.

yourself than if you are dressed in awkward or slovenly garments. Unbecoming apparel wounds your self-respect. This is not all vanity ; for you are often conscious of such feelings when appearance is not taken into account. There have been occasions when you were not in society, and did not expect to have your solitude interrupted, when the feeling that your dress was untidy or uncomely has so harassed you, that for your own peace of mind, before you could compose yourself to the task in hand, you were obliged to arise, and change or rearrange your garments. All this shows how powerfully our dress reacts upon |^our feelings, and through them upon our characters.

There are four questions which most people are apt to ask concerning any article of dress : Is it comfortable? Is it beautiful? Is it fashionable? How much did it cost? The first question is, of course, the most important one. The first quality of a garment is usefulness or comfort. No one denies the propriety of providing for ourselves such raiment as shall shield us from the cold and the damp. Our bodies as well as our souls are precious gifts of God, and we are bound to take care of them. Our clothing must neither cramp nor hamper nor expose our bodies; it must afibrd them protection and comfort.

The second question may by some persons be deemed irrelevant, but to me it seems but a little less important than the first. Raiment should not, only be comfortable, it should be beautiful and becoming. This is a matter about which some good people are not altogether clear. There was a time when it was deemed sinful by many persons to wear a garment if it had any pretensions to beauty of color or of form. But a few years ago, — within the memories of many of us who are young, — a violent crusade was being preached against all beauty of attire. Unquestionably there was then as there is now abundant cause for a firm protest against vanity and extravagance ; but it is difficult for people who start out as reformers to stop before they become fanatics. If those good Christian people had borne strong testimony against the profusion and excess of dress and ornament which everywhere prevailed, they would have done well ; but they went further, and laid down the most absurd laws in the matter. They permitted none but the homeliest styles and patterns; they placed all colors but the most sombre and dreary under the ban; and as for ornaments, the whole crusading force armed themselves with scourges of threats' and small arguments, and determined to drive them out of the temple. Now I believe that these Christian people were perfectly conscientious in all this, but I do not believe that they gained anything for themselves or for their cause by means like these. When they set themselves against all beauty in attire, they must also, if they were strictly consistent, have arrayed themselves against all beauty in art or nature ; for if objects of animate and inanimate nature may wear beautiful forms and brilliant hues, surely man, the lord of nature, has a right to dress as well as they ; and when you deny man's right to adorn himself, so much more strongly as man is higher and better than nature must you condemn the splendid attire which the earth is constantly wearing.

Therefore I think such a glorious sight as a sunset should have been painful to these persons, and a border of tulips or verbenas should have caused them many pangs of regret They ought to have sighed to see the ' luxuriance of the apple blossoms in the spring-time, and the myriad colors of the forests in the autumn ought to have been to them a source of grief They ought to have preached that the beauty of creation is a consequence of the fall, that if Adam had not sinned we should have colorless skies and fields and forests, and that all natural objects would have assumed awkward and ungainly forms, instead of the forms of symmetry and grace which we poor depraved mortals cannot now help admiring ! No ! beauty is not sin; it is one of God's attributes. We ought by all means in our power to increase our capacity of loving and enjoying it. And since the wearinoof garments that are beautiful is one means to that end, it is certainly not wrong for us to wear them if we can obtain them without sacrificing more valuable things. Of course there are many things of more importance than beautiful clothing; and every one must be careful that he does not prefer the less to the greater.