Garrison gossip : gathered in Blankhampton

Front matter

BY JOHN STRANGE WINTER

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Contents

CHAP. 'AQI

I. — "She's a' i' the Warld tae Me" , 1

II. — A Woman of Action . . , . 12

Chapter I

"Harriage is like a man taking a leap in the dark, in which he may chance to alight upon his feet, and be in comparative safety or, on the contrary, be dashed to pieces."

— Balzac.

When Lord Charterhouse came to the conclusion that he did not want to marry Polly Antrobus, he also decided that he would send in his papers forthwith, go up to Town and ask his cousin, Lady Nell Temple, to marry him at once. But, when morning light came upon him, he did not quite carry out that programme ; he changed his mind. Not about Lady Ned. No. His mind had in reality been made up about her for ages, ever since they had been tiny dots of bairns. But his people and her people had both found out that such a marriage would be a very desirable end for the two families to t GAKRISON GOSSIP.

work to, and as this fact had been dinned into his ears ever since he left Eton and began to think about the army, Lord Charterhouse had, not unnaturally, been rather against the scheme than for it. Not against Lady Nell! Oh, no! that he had never been at any period of his two-and-twenty years of existence.

But he did change his mind about leaving the army.

" Hang it all ! " he said to himself as he felt the edge of his razor that morning, " Hang it all ! it's downright mean to go clearing out of the service before I say a word to Nell. She was always so keen on ' following the drum,' as she called it. No ; I think I'll give her the chance of a year or two's service before I send in my papers."

So he went straight off to the office and asked Urquhart for three days' leave, which he got, whereupon he went gaily off to Town and made his way to a certain pretty little creeper-covered house in Queen's Gate, where he put the question to Lady Nell, plump and straight, and then went more gaily off to JNew Bond Street to buy an engagement ring. For Lady Nell said " Yes ! "

And then — Lady Nell having utterly scouted the idea of leaving the service for at least a year or two — he returned to Blankhampton, and neither said nor, for the matter of that, thought anything more about sending in his papers.

He arrived about balf-an-hour before dinner-time, to find, naturally, the ante-room deserted. So

"SHE'S A' I' THE WARLD TAE ME." 3

he went off to his quarters and dressed for mess, and then, having ten minutes to spare, looked in upon Lester Brookes, who said :

" Hullo, Winks ! Is that you ? How are you, old chap ? "

" Pretty fit, thanks," returned Mr, Winks — they invariably called him " Mr. Winks " or " Winks " among themselves in the Black Horse — " What's the news ? "

" News ? Oh ! well — er — Orford's done it at last,"

" Done what ? "

" He's going to be married."

" Orford ? By Jove ! you don't mean it. And a very good thing, too, for him. Who's the lady ? "

"Miss Trafford."

" Miss — Traff — ord ? Nonsense ! That must be about as true as the Colonel's engagement to the little mother," cried Mr. Winks, incredulously.

" It's true enough. Orford announced it himself the other night after dinner ; but it's not one of Mrs. Traff 's daughters. It's the niece."

" Oh ! the niece. Ah ! well, of course that makes it rather different. Still, I shouldn't exactly care to marry into that family myself."

" Blankhampton families are all pretty much of a muchness," remarked Brookes with a meaning air.

" Yes ; I daresay. I shouldn't quite care to marry into any Blankhampton family," said Mr.

"Winks coolly. " By-the-bye, I am going to be married, almost at once."

" The deuce you are ? And who's the lady ? " asked Brookes, who, like many another of the units constituting " Sassiety " in the old city, had been wondering for weeks past whether Lord Charterhouse really would take the plunge and raise Polly Antrobus to the peerage or not, and now felt not a little surprised to hear that there was a rival in the field •' Who's the lady ? " he asked.

" My cousin, Lady Nell Temple," answered Lord Charterhouse promptly.

" By Jove ! Well, old fellow, I heartily congratulate you, hope you'll be awfully happy and all that," Brookes cried ; and then they shook hands over the news, and Mr. Winks said :

"Thanks — thanks old fellow, I'm sure."

There was the usual little pause, half of shyness half of awkwardness, which always seems to fall upon Englishmen after any little touch of sentiment or small display of feeling, the sort of pause which a couple of Frenchmen would fill up by kissing one another. And then Mr. Winks suggested that they would be late for mess, whereupon they went off to the mess-room with a sigh of relief, each of tnem.

It still wanted ten minutes lo the dinner-hour when they reached the verandah of the ante-room, where they found seven or eight officers, who hailed Mr. Winks with a sharp fire of chaff.

" Why, Winks," cried Orford gaily, " what joy to

"SHE'S A' I' THE WAELD TAE ME." 5

see you hack again. My dear chap, she's been looking for you morning, noon, and night like the personification of Ophelia.. She only needed her yellow hair hanging in dishevelled masses about her fair cheeks, and a few straws and wild flowers, to be quite perfect for the part."

" I'm sorry for that, whoever she is," returned Mr. Winks coolly, " for I am not at all inclined to take the part of Hamlet, in fact, I'm cast for another role altogether."

The remark was taken up and commented upon instantly.

" Cast for another role?" repeated Dayrell. " Why, Mr. Winks, you don't mean "

" Of course he does," cried Staunton with a laugh. "Have you been home to ask your mother's leave, Winks ? "

" You shouldn't have gone up and asked her," laughed St. Maur. " You should have got her to come to Blankhampton, and be introduced to the whole family here. Lady Charterhouse would then have been able to take the whole bearings of the proposition."

To all of which Mr. Winks listened with unruffled demeanour, and presently electrified everybody at the dinner table, excepting Lester Brookes, by rising in his place and saying :

" Gentlemen, I have the honour to announce to you my engagement to my cousin, Lady Nell Temple."

By which the officers of the Black Horse became aware that Polly Antrobus had had one more practical experience of the old saw which says, " There's many a slip "twixt the cup and the lip."

" By-the-bye," said Marcus Orford, after a while, to Lester Brookes, " I heard a piece of news in the town to-day. The second Miss Antrobus is going to be married."

" By Jove ! Going to be married ? You don't say so. To whom ? "

" Some man called — er — Brentham ; Ilerrick Brentham."

" Xot a Blankhampton man, surely ? "

" Oh, no. Someone she's met away from here. And, I hear, an awfully good match ; fellow seems to be rolling in money, and desirable in every way; six feet high, and very handsome — so the old lady says — utterly devoted to To-To, and they're going to be married in about six weeks."

"By Jove! Imagine any fellow warding to marry that little bag of bones. Of course she's very pretty — I don't know if she isn't almost as pretty as her sister. But I always thought she was booked to Devreux of the Yellow Horse."

" Xot a bit of it," with a laugh. " I met him in St. James's the last time I was in Town, and asked him outright — because, you know, it seemed to me, knowing him well, about the most unlikely marriage, or at ieast engagement, I'd ever heard of. Well, Devreux simply laughed in my face, asked me if my wits had gone wool-gathering, or if I thought he was a lunatic ? Oh, no, I fancy the Brentham man

"SUES A' I' THE WAP.LD TAE ME." 7

had quite a clear field. Anyway, he's going to many her, that's certain."

" You haven't seen him yet? "

" Xo ; I only heard of it this afternoon," Orford answered.

" I see. Well, I think I shall go and call to-morrow and hear all details. By-the-bye, did you ever hear that joke about Sinclair of the 28th ? "

" Xo, I've heard of Sinclair, of course," Orford replied, " but never in connection with the fair Polly. What was it ? "

" Mrs. Fairlie told me — she don't care much about Mrs. Antrobus; by-the-bye, I don't fancy she cares much about anybody in Blankhampton, at least, one always seems to get the last bit of gossip and the least-known stories about everyone from her. Well, it seems that after Mrs. Antrobus's bad shot at the Trelawneys and Taff Pierrepoint, she determined to eschew officers' wives eutirely for the future, and therefore, sent old Antrobus to call on the mess of the 28th and stayed at home herself, just like a fat old spider in a web. You know the style of thing — ' Will you walk into my parlour ? ' and all that ! Well, in time, two very likely-looking flies made their appearance and inspected the parlour, admired the fair Polly, of course, and took stock of the benignant old lady in the corner. Then one backed out, and thought he didn't feel inclined to go in any urther — must have been a cautious young gentleman, who felt himself safest just then outside the web of holy matrimony.

"But the other, a big, overpowering bluebottle, as full of importance as you please (and, between ourselves, doesn't that hit off Sinclair to a T ?) — and as Mrs. Fairlie put it, ' a big, well set-up fellow, with a straight nose, and a pair of melancholy eyes/ not only ventured in, but fell down at Polly's feet and — grovelled!

" Mrs. Hugh, as Mrs. Fairlie calls her, was radiant at the result of her skilful generalship. What mattered past defeats, when they were swallowed up in victory ? What mattered the bygone fogs and mists, when the glorious sunshine of achievement had come to sweep them away for ever ? What did she care for the failures of yesterday, when the successes of to-day amply compensated for all unpleasantnesses and vexations ? In short, to put Mrs. Hugh's reflections into less grandiloquent but more everyday language than she generally goes in for, she evidently didn't care a little hang for all that was gone by, the Cardellas, the Trelawneys, and Taff Pierrepoint all put together; but she just worked away at her parlour and cleared away every relic — wings and legs, so to speak — of former victims, escaped or defunct. And she gathered dew-drops to brighten odd corners, and coaxed in little rays of sunshine to brighten big bluebottle's eyes, while Polly looked pretty and said nothing.

" ' Such a comfort to me, said Mrs. Hugh one

" SHE'S A' I' THE WARLD TAE ME." 9

day in her blandest tones to Mis. Fairlie, as they sat under the veranda in sweet al fresco friendship and watched big Bluebottle philandering about the garden with Polly, ' that Polly has never been in-duced to avail herself of the really magr-nificent opportunities that have been held out to her of establishing herself. Captain Sin-claiah is so charming, such a per-fect gentleman, and madly in love with her, that I feel he is the only man in the world who would be able to make her happy. Indeed, I am perfectly satisfied in ev-evy way.'

" ' Then they are engaged ? ' said Mrs. Fairlie, wondering that she hadn't heard of it earlier.

" ' No ; not yet,' Mrs. Hugh replied. ' He has not yet spoken plainly to her ; but we are q wite satisfied. He is negotiating for the Willoughbys' house, just as it stands. He means to use it as a hunting-box after the regiment leaves Blankhampton, and, of course, that will be very pleasant for us.'

" Well — it really was too bad ; but you've seen a great, big, blundering bluebottle go bang into a delicate web, and after knocking about for a time, go buzzing and blundering out again, leaving Madame (Spider with her web all torn and ruined and never a morsel of dinner — you've seen that, old fellow, haven't you? Well, that's just what Sinclair did with Mrs. Hugh. For no sooner had he satisfactorily concluded his negotiations for the purchase of the house Mrs. Hugh had spoken of, and cot her to find him servants and other things, than he just went quietly off to Cannes on a ten days' leave, and came back at the end of it with a pretty, delicate wife, and two pretty little children to live in it ! And after that, Mrs. Fairlie declares that, so far as Army society was concerned, Airs. Hugh threw up the sponge."

"It's a very fine story," said Orford laughing ; " but, all the same, Mrs. Fairlie has got mixed somewhere, for we relieved the Yellow Horse here ; and you know Sinclair was in the Line, he was D.A.Q.A.Gv'

" So he was. Well, but that was the tale as she told it to me. I thought it uncommonly good."

" Oh ! uncommonly good. Mrs. Fairlie is a good hand at that sort of thing. She'll tell 'em about you and me when we've gone. Bless me, how I do dislike that woman, to be sure."

"She's not a very attractive woman. By-the-bye, I wonder what fun she can find in going long country walks with old Coles ? "

" I wonder what fun old Coles can find in going with her ? " Orford growled.

" That's all right enough, but, hang it all, old Coles is so bad on his feet. It's quite painful to walk down the street with him," said Brookes, feelingly.

" Yes, he is queer about his feet," returned Orford, then laughed outright. " By Jove ! but the two must be a study to follow down the road. I've never seen them together. Why, her feet are just like Mrs. Hugh's, and Mrs. Hugh's are a feature — a feat ure ! It was only the other day that Mr. Winks and

'•SHE'S A' I' THE WARLD TAE ME." 11

I were going to the club together, when Mrs. Hugh fell foul of us and marched him on in front, leaving Polly to me. We hadn't gone many yards when Polly suddenly exclaimed : ' Dear me, Captain Orford, doesn't mamma look just like a tortoise ? ' I was struck all of a heap, for I didn't like to say yes, and my conscience wouldn't let me say no. 'Pon my word, Mrs. Fairlie and old Coles must be a study ! "

" They got old Coles to sing at the Residence last night," said Brookes, chuckling over lti 3 comrade's remarks.

" Old Coles ?— by Jove ! "

" And he sang ' Annie Laurie.' "

" Yes — true.

" ' Like dew on the gowan lying

Is the fa' of her fairy feet, And like winds in summer sighing,

Her voice is low and sweet.

Her voice is low and sweet,

And she's a' i' the warld tae ma, And for bonny Annie Laurie,

Wad I lay p»e doun an' dee.' "

Chapter II. A Woman Of Action

"A virtuous mind in a fair body is indeed a fine picture in a good 'iglit, and therefore it is no wonder that it makes the beautiful sex ill over charms."

— Addison.

Perhaps never had the good folk of Blankhampvon been so tickled by curiosity as they were about; the latest bit of news that had spread over the town, or so really awed as they were by the details which came to light concerning the engagement and approaching marriage of To-To Antrobus.

The event was not made less important by the information given by the Antrobus family. In the first place, Mr. Herrick Brentham belonged to the higher walks of the legal profession, and, except at Assize times, barristers were not commonly met with in Blankhampton.

It was true he had never held a brief, but then, as Mrs. Hugh put it, a man who has a large private property does not care to be tied by the working part of his profession, and, according to her, he held the position of a barrister very much as certain ladies of — of — well, let us say fashion, claim the reputation of being actresses, and think themselves superior to the great heads of the profession because they do not get their living by it. And in the second place, Mrs. Hugh declared he was wonderfully handsome — at least, not perhaps handsome, but exceedingly distinguished-looking ; he was reported to be capable of picking To-To up bodily, and putting heron the top of a tall cabinet or shelf, there to learn good behaviour, or at least such as pleased him best.

He was very rich — indeed, rolling in money — ■ and could not lavish enough attention and — and promises upon his beautiful little betrothed, whom he described as being like a bit of Dresden china. They intended to live in London eventually, but immediately after the wedding they were going abroad for a year, or at least until the next autumn's yachting season, when they meant to go to the Mediterranean for the winter.

And then somebody asked who Mr. Herrick Brentham was, and of what family he came ? Upon which Mrs. Hugh rose up to the rescue, and elaborately explained matters thus

The Brenthams were rich — oh ! enormously rich, quite small millionaires ! — with her oiliest laugh. Ob, without doubt To-To was a very lucky girl — every whim would be gratified, every caprice satisfied. Mr. Brentham's father? Oh, well — er — the fact was, he was — er — a little eccentric — a little — odd — with an emphasis upon the word, as if to be a little — odd was a rare distinction to which common people could not attain. " But a very charming old gentleman, and all the family are so

14 GAKEISON GOSSIP.

delighted with, the engagement, for Mr. Brentham — Herrick, that is — is quite a Bohemian, has the most Bo-hemian ideas about everything, that he has always declared that, if he fell in love, even with a bar-maid, he should marry her at once. So, of course, the whole family are only too thankful to get him safely married as they would like.''

" But what or who is Mr. Brentham — the father, I msan ? " persisted the seeker after information.

" He is — a — a manufacturer ; he has very large brickfields, and, I believe, a most extensive property," Mrs. Hugh answered.

Eventually it oozed out that the Brentham, senior, had begun life with the proverbial and traditional twopence-halfpenny, from which all rich self-made men start, that, happily for the social status of his one son and his five daughters, he had become distinctly odd, and was therefore saddled by an extra body-servant and kept in the retreat of his own elegant mansion in the neighbourhood of Idleminster ; which was a convenient arrangement for all immediately concerned, he being of the good old-fashioned sort who insist upon drinking of out their saucers, and saving their forks at the expense of their knives.

It oozed out, too, that Mrs. Brentham could neither read nor write ; but then, as Mrs. Hugh charitably remarked when she came to hear of it, that was no fault of Herrick's, poor fellow, and she, for one, should never make any difference in hex manner to him on account of it— which, between ourselves, was not only very sweet and motherly, but it was also very nice of her to bear in mind the old saying, " The likes of me knows the likes of you."

However, in spite of any little drawbacks in the way of bygones, there seemed to be no reasonable doubt as to the money, for, as Blankhampton people assured themselves and one another, the money must be all right, the entire family of the Antrobuse.i seemed so pleased with the engagement.

And To-To bore herself as young ladies who are on the eve of a brilliant alliance often do ; she became all at once exceedingly delicate and fragile — very Dresden-china-ish, some people said. And she gave herself airs — Oh ! didn't she ? And did not poor Polly suffer by reason of not having pulled off the matrimonial stakes before her ! I think no one but herself ever quite knew how much.

Perhaps the one who came nearest to knowing was 3lrs. Hugh, who did not think To-To fit to be named in the same street with Polly for beauty, and therefore while she was highly elated at her good fortune in getting her second daughter off her hands, she still retained a fixed idea that Polly would rank as a Peeress in the end, and elevate the family for all time ; but she was powerless to avert the little shafts of sisterly spite which the bride-elect was able, aye, and willing too, to let fly at the hapless Polly at all hours of the day.

" Yes ; embroidered muslin would be very sweet for the bridesmaid's frocks,"' was the way in which she go: ded Poly into a state of frenzy one day,

16 OAEEISON GOSSIP.

" but I think it's rather young for Polly, you know."

Polly was twenty-three ! But the shaft told for all that, and she went off to her own room and cried until she could hardly hold her pretty head up, and her blue eyes were past recognition. And then she rose and comforted herself by vowing that if ever she was Lady Charterhouse, she would never let To-To and her spindle-legged husband cross the threshold of her house. Poor Polly! She had just laved her face and tired her head, when Jane came and told her Lord Charterhouse was in the drawing-room, and that the mistress had sent for her.

So, with another look in the glass and a hope that her eyes did not look red, or rather that they would not appear so red and swollen to him as they did to herself, she went down, looking more like Ophelia than any other character you could have chosen out of the entire plays of Shakespeare. So bad, indeed, did she look, so dejected and crushed, that Mr. Winks felt his conscience in a very unpleasant state, and, after staying more than an hour, drinking three cups of Mrs. Hugh's best tea, eating a huge wedge of cake, hearing all the most important details about the approaching wedding, told in Mrs. Hugh's most florid and graphic style, and congratulating the bride-elect in person, he betook himself away without saying a single word of what he had gone on purpose to say.

" Must you go ? Weil, £ood-bye, dear Lord Charterhouse," said Mrs. Hugh in her most familiar

A WOMAN OP ACTION. 17

and motherly accents. " I hope you will come in again soon, in spite of our whole house being upset by this wedding ; and next week we want you to come and dine with us. Will you? "

" I'm sure I shall be charmed," stammered Mr. "Winks, wondering how he should manage to get clear of Mrs. Hugh and her blandishments ; " that is if I'm not already engaged."

" I will send you a formal invitation this evening," said Mrs. Hugh, smiling. " And as it is to meet the bridegroom, I hope you will not disappoint us."

" I shall be charmed, I'm sure ; charmed," said poov little Mr. Winks again ; and then, with profuse bows, such as were dear to Mrs Hugh's soul, he at last got away.

Mrs. Hugh watched him quite out of sight.

'; Of course you know, Polly dear," she said to her elder daughter, " Herrick is all very well, and To- To being so extravagantly fond of him makes a great difference, but, all the same, Lord Charterhouse is my favourite. There is such an air about him, and he is so frank and open and pleasant. I like frankness and openness above all other qualities in a man," she wound up.

Meantime, the frank and open Mr. Winks was just passing along the High Street, where he was hailed by Marcus Orford on his way to St. Eve's.

" Hallo, Winks, where have you been ? " he asked.

Mr. Winks looked up the street and down the street, pulled his moustache and smoothed the back of his head, took his hat off and looked carefully at the lining thereof, set it jauntily upon his fair head, and shook it until it settled at the right angle.

" Been calling at the Antrobuses'," he said at length.

" H'm ! Eather an ordeal, eh ? " suggested Orford, with a laugh in his eyes.

" Oh, devilish ! " returned Lord Charterhouse ruefully..

" Did you tell them ? " Orford asked.

" Tell them ! What ? "

" Why," with an amused look, " that you're going to be married."

" No, I didn't."

" Why, how was that ? "

" Well, I hadn't a chance," Mr. Winks answered.

" Hadn't a chance ? Why, did you stop long ? "

" A pretty fair time."

" H'm ! Ah, well, you'll be getting yourself into trouble, young man, if you don't look out," Orford remarked. " Well I suppose you're going to the club. You'll hear the very latest about the wedding there. The last I heard was that the young couple are going to St. Petersburg to see the Eoyal wedding. Pretty chance they'd have of seeing it when they got there."

" Yes — well — ta-ta," and thus they parted, one for the club, the other for the house of the widow Trafferd, in St. Eve's.

" I wonder," ran Marcus Orford's thoughts, as he stood on the doorstep waiting for his knock to be answered, "whether Lady Nell or Mrs. Oily- Tongue will get the best of that young gentleman. Fancy the young fool going there and sitting an hour — he must have been an hour from the time I saw him going out of barracks dressed like a tailors' dummy — and never saying a word abc-it Lady Nell. Ton my word, if I see the old lady I'll not utter a single syllable about it. By Jove, if Charterhouse is such a fool about the business, the old girl deserves a chance," and then Mrs. Trafford's neat maid opened the door and Marcus Orford walked into the house and straightway forgot all about the latest bit of gossip.

As the maid told him Miss Madge was in the drawing-room, he went into that room, where he found his aunt-by-marriage-elect surrounded by a select group of friends, all busy retailing scandal to the crispest of muffins and the most fragrant of tea.

" My dear boy," cried Mrs. Trafford, beaming at him with her sweetest smile, "you are just in time, for the fresh tea and newly-toasted muffins are but just brought up. Pray have you heard anything up at the barracks about the very latest on clit ? "

" I've heard that the second Miss Antrobus is going to marry the Czar of Russia," replied Orford promptly, as he took the little widow's hand.

" Oh, yes, I heard all about that the day before yesterday," said the little woman, with an accent of faint scorn, which was very lowering to the

Antrobus family in general and to the impending marriage in particular. " Of course, poor things, they are quite carried away by their good fortune. My dear boy, Mrs. Antrobus came here yesterday," she went on in a hurried whisper, " and caught me at home, more was the pity ; and I do asshaw you I had the whole story from beginning to end. I was perfectly exhausted, as Madge will tell you; in fact, the girls all came in together, and I was so faint and worn out that Madge insisted — insisted on giving me a little wee cognac and soda."

" Ah, I suppose you were bored to death. That old lady is an infliction, particularly when she gets on to family subjects. I wonder you don't deny yourself to her, Mrs. Traff ? " — yes, they were such good friends that he had began to call her Mrs. Traff, being probably almost the only man in the wide world who would or could have taken such a liberty without being severely rebuked for it. — " Ton my word you're too good-natured to live. Why on earth should you be bothered with all that old woman's oily glorification of herself? "