Second series

Preface

. The favourable manner in which my first series of " Old Friends and New Acquaintances " has been received, induces me to fulfil the conditional promise, I then made, of publishing a Second Volume, illustrative of Life in the Eastern Counties. In the series, I have now the honour of introducing, although certain of my readers will recognise more than one of their " Old Friends " and favourites, the " New Acquaintances " are decidedly in the majority, the greater portion of the volume consisting of original sketches. These are, for the most part, scenes and characters painted from nature ; for deeply as I have been occupied for the last five and-twenty years in tracing the actions of departed Queens, I have not shut my eyes to what was passing around me, nor been so entirely abstracted from the duties, the charities, and the sympathies of human life, as to be insensible VI

PREFACE.

. to the proceedings of my contemporaries. It is not good to devote the faculties of a whole existence to the memorials of past ages, nor to confine observation to one class only. I have, meantime, enjoyed both recreation and moral benefit from studying the characteristics, the manners, the customs, the whims, and humours of all sorts and conditions of my fellow creatures, more especially those of my East Anglian neighbours. They are, in sooth, a peculiar people, in respect, not only to their dialect and idioms, but to their modes of thinking and acting. Their racy peculiarities and their Saxon phraseology are, however, fast dis appearing before the innovation of the so-called civilisation, which the introduction of railroads and the progress of luxury are making in the primitive habits of this " odd angle of the isle."

Yet from the hall to the cottage, Norfolk and Suffolk men are so opposed to anything allied to change that it will take more than a century to render the portraitures of the present generation obsolete. A. S. Retdon Hall, Suffolk. November "1th, 18C0. CONTENTS. I. PAGE Old Michaelmas Day in the Eastern Counties 1 II. The Family Ghost . . .22 III. Lancelot Corby, The Child of Doubtful Parish 49 IV. The Man who Carried his own Bundle 89 V. Marianne Moore . . • contents. VI. PAGE Nehemiah Dottion, our Parish Clerk . 236 VII. Old Hannah Pearson . . . 252 VIII. The Marquis and the Mole-catcher . 314 IX. The Heiress of the Hall . THE EASTERN COUNTIES. The mention of Michaelmas rarely conveys, to the mind of the thorough-paced citizen of the metropolis, any other ideas than the savoury ones connected with the anticipations or reminiscences of roast goose, duly seasoned with sage and onions, and served up with the appropriate gar niture of apple-sauce and rich gravy ; in the appearance of which dainties at his board, he humbly conceives the orthodox observance of the feast of St. Michael and all Angels con sists.

Woefully, however, would that man be disappointed, who should unwittingly visit those lands of geese, Norfolk, Suffolk, or Lincoln shire, at that awful period, in the expectation of feasting to perfection on the orthodox fare. Alack, my masters, that day is, in these counties, for reasons good, a more meagre fast than a Romish Ash- "Wednesday ; and those who ven ture to anticipate festivities thereon, will reckon without their host. It is an anniversary of fusses, fidgets, and all disquiets to which the domestic regime can be exposed — a day on which servants are changed, removals are effected, scot and lot paid, and rent demanded and often extorted from the moneyless, by the confiscation of household goods. It is a day on which the quiet, peace loving, and sensitive-eared members of a family suffer annual purgatory for their sins, and the active, bustling, sharp-tongued vixens of the household, whether their station be in parlour or kitchen, hold their yearly Saturnalia, and the conscious lares and penates frown ominously on all intruders.

Intruders ! do I say ? Those who know anything of East Anglian customs would as soon leap into the crater of a volcano, by way of a visit of inquiry, as venture their persons into a strange house in the Michaelmas week, 0. S., which is in these Eastern counties, and has been from time immemorial, a week devoted to sweeping, scrubbing, and wMtewashing ; and those who ignorantly thrust themselves into the focus of such doings, will not fail to pay a pretty severe penalty for their folly. My worthy bachelor cousin once amused me with a ludicrously pathetic account of the inconveniences he experienced from having inad vertently selected Michaelmas week, old style, as the season for paying a visit to some friends in Norfolk, who had often complimented him with pressing invitations to come and see them without ceremony, and stay as long as pos sible.

But I cannot do better than relate this brief passage of his autobiography in his own words : — " It happened last summer that I was attacked with a serious fit of the maladie du Londres, as a friend of mine, from the healthful south of France, terms those distressing nervous complaints which invade alike the dissipated and studious residents of the crowded metropolis. I lost my appetite ; my spirits failed me ; I could neither sleep nor study; I became querulous and impatient, rebuked my housekeeper without just cause, execrated the dustmen and their bells ; gave orders that I should be denied to all the world, and then upbraided my friends for not coming to see me ; yawned in my clients' faces when they came for opinions, and advised them 'not to go to law about such nonsense,' to their infinite indignation.

Finally, I consulted my physician, and quarrelled with him for candidly assuring me 'that a prescription would only aggravate my symptoms, since change of scene with country air and exercise were all I wanted.' " Just at that moment a friend of mine, who had recently experienced the same bodily lan guor and vis inertia? under which I was labour ing, called upon me on his return from a month's visit in the country, in so complete a renovation of health and spirits, that I resolved not to lose another day in following the same line of con duct which had produced so beneficial an effect on his constitution. Accordingly, I ordered a few changes of linen to be put into my port manteau, hastily threw myself into a post-chaise, and commenced my journey to Greenwood Vale in Norfolk, the residence of Sylvester Chapman, Esq., to whom I had long pledged my word that my first visit, if ever I did turn my steps eastward, should be made.

" I did not consider the formality of announcing my intention by letter by any means necessary ; assuring myself, in the simplicity of my heart, that I should afford my good friends a pleasing surprise, by popping upon them unexpectedly; and in the very improbable possibility of my visit proving inconvenient to Mrs. Chapman, I provided in my own mind to remove, after the repose of a night and day, to the house of his brother, who resided in a country town about twenty miles distant from Greenwood Vale. I had, moreover, two other friends with whom I proposed spending a little time ; but they dwelt in a more remote part of the country, and at any rate my first visit was, as I before observed, promised to my friend Sylvester, and to his house I therefore proceeded. " My spirits improved during the journey, in the course of which I feasted my imagination with the most refreshing pictures of rural pleasures and domestic peace; and, above all, with anticipating the delicious quiet I should enjoy during a month's residence in the country.

How my heart leaped within me when the bustling, noisy, restless metropolis was left far in the distance, and my delighted eyes reposed on ' Verdant lawns and fallows grey, Where the nibbling flocks do stray ;' quiet villas with their pleasant gardens ; and waving woods, rich with the mellow tints of a gracious autumn. The heavens were so intensely blue too, and the air so clear and reviving, that I mentally exclaimed, 'Is it less than absolute insanity for a man voluntarily to forego scenes like this, to be pent up within narrow dusky lines of brick prison-houses, in a gloomy city, where every breath is laden with life-destroying vapours, and even light is a stinted thing, not to be enjoyed even by the wealthy who have paid the assessment — this was in the days of window tax — for its passage into their magnificent mansions without grudge or hesitation ; where water reaches us, through stagnating pipes and impure reservoirs, in any form but that of the pure element for which the fevered invalid pines in vain ? ' " It was about noon on the second day of my journey, that I arrived within the precincts of Greenwood Vale ; delicious name ! and how well deserving of it appeared the pastoral village, where each white cottage had its neatly kept, productive garden, blooming with monthly roses, and gay with all the showy flowers of the autumnal season, and the tired labourer might repose himself at noon under the shade of his own fruit-trees, whose loaded branches promised a mine of wealth to the happy industrious peasant.

" Groups of smiling rosy children, not like the meagre squalid broods reared in the abject misery of London cellars and garrets, but such as Rubens and Teniers might have delighted to paint, and Gainsborough did paint, were to be seen in every lane gathering blackberries and elderberries, or bearing home their rich purple treasures in loaded baskets. " ' Happy, happy season ! ' ejaculated I, my eyes filling with an involuntary gush of tears, the overflowings of a heart overpowered with those sweet feelings which proceed from the contemplation of the felicity of others, and a scene which to my fond fancy appeared to realise all that poets have sung of the delights of the golden age, and the pure unsophisticated pleasures of the country. " As I sprang from the post-chaise at the gate of my friend's pretty shrub-bordered lawn, where every thing appeared arranged by the hand of taste, and kept by that of neatness, I could scarcely forbear from exclaiming aloud, ' Here let me live and die ; for I have found the haven of rest, for which I have vainly sought in the haunts of luxury or the shades of learning.' "I was still under the intoxication of this romantic feeling when I discharged the postilion, and taking my fight circular valisse in my hand, approached the entrance of the mansion. 'By the bye,' thought I, as I drew near the open door, ' I have just arrived in time to make one in a rural fete, for which I perceive active preparations are making.

The apple -gathering feast, I suppose ; though, methinks, it is getting rather the coldest for a collation out of doors ; and yet it must be so, or what else can be the meaning of this medley of chairs and tables on the lawn ? ' "In truth, a confused variety of furniture was arranged, without much regard to the picturesque, on the lawn before the windows, and I could account for the circumstance on no other supposition. A few minutes, however, sufficed to convince me of my error, for while I stood knocking long and lustily at the entrance door, my ears were greeted by the ominous music of the scrubbing-brush, playing all its variety of tunes in every apartment of the house, from the cellar to the attic. I started back impulsively at the sound, for I have always en tertained an unconquerable aversion to newly washed floors ; ' and who knows,' thought I, ' but the very chamber in which I am doomed to sleep this night may be undergoing such for midable ablutions ? ' " I instinctively looked around for the vehicle in which I had arrived with a sort of vague undefined intention of effecting a precipitate retreat, but it was gone, and already out of sight ; and I had no alternative left but to obtain admittance if I could.

"My application to the knocker was for a long time ineffectual ; but at length a vigorous rat-tat-tat occasioned a sudden cessation in the operations of one of the scrubbing-brushes, and the next moment a dirty slip-shod girl, in a wet apron, with a cap all awry, displaying a host of slovenly curl-papers, peered over the window, and starting back with a look of unfeigned horror at my appearance, screamed out to some one above — " ' Oh, lauk-a-daisy, marm, here be a right-on gentleman, lumping at the door like mad.' '"A gentleman, Molly?' responded a shrill voice ; ' who is he ? and whence did he come ? ' " ' Marm, I don't know who he be, but he must be somebody grand, for he corned in a real po-shay, and have got his trunk in his hand, and that's all I can tell about'n, for I never see'd his face before,' replied Molly, in rather a mysterious tone.

" ' Came in a post-chaise, and got a trunk with him, do you say ? ' rejoined the mistress ; ' there must be some mistake, for I am sure no person of sense would choose such a time for a visit.' " ' Shall I call master to speak to un ? ' de manded the sagacious Molly.

" ' Yes — no — he'll be asking him to dinner if you do ; for you know, Molly, your master has no judgment nor consideration about proper times and seasons,' said the mistress in a sort of confidential manner, to her handmaid, who resumed as follows : " ' Well, marm, then I 'spose I had best go to the door myself, and ax his name and business ; though, to be sure, I isn't fit to be seen.' " ' No ! nor you never are, Molly,' responded her lady, in a very aigre tone. ' However, I shall get rid of you, and that other lazy worthless baggage Sally, to-morrow; that's one good thing.' " ' I'm sure you can't be gladder to get rid of we, than we shall be to go,' rejoined the damsel, with answering scorn. ' For my part,' added she, ' I never valued your place, marm ; and if so be that I hadn't been letten from Michaelmas to Michaelmas, and taken the hiring shilling which have bound me for the year, I'd never have staid with you twelve long months, that I promise you.' " ' Hold your saucy tongue, you insolent hussy, and remember all the things you have broken since last Michaelmas,' exclaimed the wrathful mistress ; ' but you shall pay for them all, mark that ! — or I'll stop them all out of your wages.' " ' Sure, and if you do,' sobbed Molly, ' I'll hand you up before the justice sitting; for I ar'n't going to pay for all the things that were broken by the cats, and dogs, and chickens, and pigs.' " ' Who left the things in the way of the cats, and dogs, and chickens, and pigs ? ' demanded her mistress, angrily; both parties having apparently become, in the heat of their mutual recriminations, forgetful of the necessity of answering the door.

" For my part, I had heard enough to extin guish the last particle of my cherished beau ideal of country quiet and country delights. I stood for a moment as one astonished, and then was about to make a hasty retreat from the Satur nalia of St. Michael and all Angels, before my devoted person should be identified as the unwelcome gentleman who was knocking at the door on such a day ; but I was unluckily recognised ere I could carry this prudent design into effect; recognised by no less a personage than my friend Chapman himself, who had been for some moments reconnoitring me from behind the door of his own stable, which commanded a sidelong view of the front entrance of the mansion, which it seems no guest could approach unseen. " As soon as he became aware that I saw him, he advanced from his ambush, and greeted me with a deceitful semblance of pleasure and sur prise ; nevertheless, I could not avoid perceiving that my presence caused him some little disquiet, and methought he had a certain crest-fallen, careful look, very different from his usual frank, hearty manner.

I observed, withal, that he bestowed extra pains in scraping and rubbing his shoes, before he ventured to impress a single step on the freshly washed stones of the vesti bule.

I, of course, as a matter of common prudence, imitated his example ; not, indeed, solely in compliance with the request indicated by his beseeching looks, but because I am a person of the neatest habits, and make a point of conscience neither to occasion unnecessary trouble in my own feminine establishment, nor to defile other people's houses at any time or season. '"My dear friend,' said I, as we stood look ing like two fools on the wet boards of the empty parlour, into which he had led the way with a melancholy air, 'I fear I have chosen a most inconvenient time for my visit.' " ' My dear sir,' responded the unfortunate spouse of the most cleanly of all housewives, with a deep sigh, ' I regret, on your own account, that you should of all weeks in the year have stumbled on the Michaelmas-week for that purpose, as Mrs. Chapman will not be able, I fear, to pay you that attention which you deserve, for it unluckily happens that she is changing both her maids at this time, and she always makes a point of having her house cleaned from the cellar to the attics before the new servants come, lest, she says, they should take example by the sluttish habits of their predecessors ; and, like all notable women, in stead of going coolly to work, and getting the extra business performed by degrees, she is for having it all done at once, and has turned the furniture out of every room in the house, so that I have not, literally speaking, a single place to ask you to sit down in.' " ' I should be happy,' said I, ' as I am some what of an invalid, to retire to a chamber, and endeavour to recruit myself with an hour's repose or so, after the fatigue of a journey, which my desire of being with you as early as possible induced me to perform with unusual expedition.' "Mr. Chapman shook his head with a melancholy look. 'The thing is, I regret to say, impossible,' responded he. ' Mrs. Chapman has unluckily taken down every bed in the house, and the floors of all the chambers have either been or are in process of being scrubbed, and it would be more than either of our heads were worth, were we to attempt to set a foot on the newlycleaned stairs before night.' " ' Cannot we go to the kitchen fire, then ? ' demanded I, after a continuous fit of sneezing, which afforded me sufficient intimation that I had already experienced the inimical effects of standing on wet boards in a room whereof every door and window was set open for the purpose of occasioning counter currents of air, to absorb the damp.

" ' My dear friend,' replied Mr. Chapman, ' I should have had great pleasure in conducting you thither, had it not been,' he added, in a dolorous tone, ' that Mrs. Chapman, as if to complete my miseries, has made an appoint ment with a chimney-sweeper this morning, who is at this moment in the chimney. The floor is covered with soot, and all the chairs and tables are turned into the yard. There is not a fire in the house, and when we shall have dinner I know not, and dare not inquire ; for it is as much as a man's life is worth to mention such a thing to the mistress of a house in the Michaelmas-week. " ' I trust,' pursued he, looking on the ground in some confusion, 'it is unnecessary for me to assure you how extremely happy I am to see you in Norfolk, and I hope, after these family muddles have somewhat subsided, that I shall be able to have the things a little comfortable for you; but at present, my dear friend, the only place into which I can safely introduce you is the stable, where I have been standing the whole morning, and esteemed myself for tunate in possessing such a place of refuge from the housequakes and tornadoes within.

In fact, I want to return thither just now ; and if you will accompany me, I shall take it very kindly of you, for I was engaged in looking over my saddles, bridles, gig and cart harness, and gar dening and farming implements, to ascertain whether any thing were missing, before I settle finally with my men-servants, who all leave me on Michaelmas-day. I was in the very height of the business when I had the pleasing surprise of perceiving you at my door.' " ' And is it for this that I have exchanged my snug chambers in Chancery-Lane, my warm fire, my luxurious easy-chair and footstool, and all the other comforts and conveniences with which I was surrounded?' thought I, as I followed the hasty steps of Mr. Chapman to his equestrian city of refuge, who most unseason ably, as I thought, hummed the popular air of ' Home, sweet Home,' as we turned our backs upon the house.

" A stable, in good truth, was never a place much to my taste. I take no delight in the society of either horses or grooms, and consider the savour of both to be anything rather than agreeable. I have heard of grooms reading ' Lord Byron, ' and horses lodged almost as luxuriously as the fairy stud of Fortunatus, in stables with French windows and Venetian blinds ; but my friend Chapman's establishment was of a very different order from anything of this kind. His groom, who had been a parish apprentice, was guiltless of knowing a letter in the book ; and his stable, in its present state of litter and confusion, strewed from end to end with all the miscellaneous articles of which he recently spake, had a decidedly Augean appearance. " I was hungry, weary, and malcontent ; but I had voluntarily exposed myself to the inconveniences I suffered, and, therefore, had no excuse for venting my mortification in words expressive of my dissatisfaction; but, with a rueful air, seated myself on a dirty three-legged stool, which my friend produced for my accom modation from under the manger, and submitted, with as good a grace as my internal vexation would permit me to assume, to the doom which my malign fates had prepared for me of listening quiescently for three hours to the wrangling between my friend Chapman and his serving men, on the wrongs and robberies he had sus tained at their hands, in the articles of bridles, stirrups, cart-whips and other whips, dutphens, collars, plough - lines, pitchforks, rakes, hoes, scuppits, spades, and a variety of other imple ments, whose names I have forgotten.

" In the course of this scene I discovered that Mr. Chapman was quite as tenacious respecting his out-door property, as his worthy spouse had been with regard to the devastations committed by her damsels in her glass and crockeryware. Which was the most violent, unreasonable, and exacting of the twain, I am at a loss to say ; neither were his men a whit more respectful than her handmaid Molly had been. Reproaches, taunts, and threats, were mutually bandied, till I, weary of the clamour, and apprehensive of increasing my cold, rose from my stool (which in good sooth had been to me a stool of repent ance in the most literal sense of the word), and, with a suppressed yawn, made a bold attempt to effect my escape from a scene at once so noisy and uninteresting. "My purpose was, however, detected by my friend, who poured forth a volume of apologies on the score of his having been too much engaged to pay me proper attention. ' But business, you see, my dear sir,' added he, ' business must not be neglected, and Michael mas is such a time ! ' He then entreated five minutes further indulgence, which five minutes appeared to me perfectly interminable, and lasted till the dirty slip-shod damsel before mentioned brought us a summons to dinner.

" I was then presented in due form to the mistress of the house, who, almost as much in dishabille as her maid, received me with a very ungracious demeanour, and made a series of the most embarrassing apologies for every circumstance of my reception and entertainment. I will not enter into the minutiœ of the cold ill served meal which she designated dinner, and which was laid out in a wet room, with no other furniture than a table and three chairs. Scarcely was it concluded, before Mrs. Chapman rose from her seat and begged me to excuse her, ' as she was so much engaged with her domestic affairs, that she had not a moment to spare for com pany, nor should she have for a week to come.' "This declaration afforded me too good an opening for effecting an honourable retreat to be neglected, and after apologising for the un seasonableness of a visit which I resolved shoidd never be repeated, I rang the bell for the purpose of remanding, if possible, the vehicle in which I arrived to the door, but not even for that purpose could I obtain the attendance of a servant, and at length, after some unmean ing compliments, Mr. Chapman consented to accompany me to the little inn, the only one that the village could boast, where he concluded my post lad would be found, refreshing himself and his cattle.

"Taking my portmanteau in my hand, I set forth with my friend on this peregrination, and used unwonted expedition, in hopes of reaching the inn in time to avail myself of the opportunity of departing in the post-chaise ; but notwith standing all my exertions, like Jean Jacques Rousseau, I arrived too late. The postilion had finished his refection, and was gone. No other conveyance could be procured nearer than a town eight miles distant, to which Mr. Chap man could not send a servant that evening, so that I was fairly left in the lurch. " My distaste to my late quarters was so great, that I would fain have spent the rest of the day and the night at the inn ; but alas ! the inhospitable influence of St. Michael extended even to that place of entertainment for man and beast. The beds were taken down; a general uproar of cleaning and whitewashing was going on.

The landlady was about to change her servants the next day; she had half a dozen cross children running in every one's way, and was in the very act of pommelling a sturdy rebel of nine years old, who was kicking, scream ing, and protesting against the castigation when we arrived. " ' You cannot stay here,' observed my friend Sylvester, with a look of sincere regret. I assented with a melancholy nod, and we retraced our steps. "My return, portmanteau in hand, did not sweeten the acerbity of the lady of the house. I spent an afternoon, such as may be conceived by those who have been unfortunate enough to pay a visit as unseasonable as this. When the hour of repose arrived, I was ushered into a wet, comfortless, carpetless, curtainless chamber, destitute of all conveniences. I dreaded retiring to the bed; all doubt respecting whether the sheets had been aired being banished by a complete certainty that they had not.

I had only the alternative of sitting with my feet on the wet boards, or going to bed between the damp sheets. For some minutes I stood dubious, but bodily fatigue at length prevailed over caution and reluctance. I resigned my self to the chance of all evils that might result from sleeping so circumstanced, threw myself on the bed without undressing, and slept, truth to tell, more soundly than I had done for the last six months. "I awoke with a bad cold, attended with toothache and sore throat. The morning was very rainy. We had a shabby starvation sort of breakfast. No fire; but an abundance of sour looks from Mrs. Chapman, who began to suspect that I meant to trespass on her hospitality during the Michaelmas term of misery. From this fear she was happily relieved by the arrival of a post-chaise, which I had privately hired a special messenger to order from the nearest place where such a conveyance was to be procured.

" No enfranchised prisoner ever bounded into the open air at a gaol delivery with greater glee than I experienced in crossing, for the last time, the threshold of Chapman's domicile, and leaping into the superannuated rattle-trap vehicle that was to carry me as I flattered myself to some more genial place of abode. I was re gardless of jolting, broken windows, jaded cattle, pouring rain, and every other inconvenience, so delighted was I in the enjoyment of my own dear freedom once more. " Three hours' ride brought me to the town of , in the suburbs of which dwelt Mr. James Chapman, the younger brother of my friend Sylvester, an eminent coal and corn merchant, in comfortable circumstances, a married man, with a family of eight children. But here my condition was no way improved, for the family were busy moving.