Under a Delusion. A novel

Front matter

UNDER A DELUSION " Never, never dream can be Like that early dream of ours, When the fairy Hope lay down Hke a child, And slept amid opening flowers. Little we recked of the coming years, We fancied them just what we chose, For whatever Life's after-hues may be, We colour them first from the rose. But Hope since then hath waked and slept Itself, like the rainbow, away, Like the sparkling drops of a summer shower Are the visions of Life's young day. And Truth now stands where the fairy slept, And faded are those bright flowers, And never has after-life fulfilled That early dream of ours. " UNDER A DELUSION A NOVEL BY JOAN ST LEGER IN TWO VOLUMES VOL. I. WILLIAM BLACKWOOD AND SONS EDINBURGH AND LONDON MDCCCLXXXVII All Rights reserved TO A L CONTENTS OF THE FIRST VOLUME. CHAP. PAGE I. "WHO ARE COMING?"

I II. ARRIVALS, 20 III. CONFIDENCES 39 IV. RECOGNITION, 55 V. TALK 70 VI. FRIENDS OR ACQUAINTANCES ? ... 87 VII. TWENTY YEARS AGO, I05 VIII. THROUGH A SCORE OF YEARS, . . -131 IX. "TO K- ," . 155 X. BAREWOOD CASTLE, I90 XI. " NOW I DO ABHOR THEE," .... 208 XII. " WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HIM ? " . . . 220 XIII. "WHO IS THAT PUPPY?" .... UNDER A DELUSION.

Chapter I

"WHO ARE COMING?" " Alice, have you got that list ready for me yet ? " asked Mrs Holdinghame, as she entered her boudoir, where her daugh ter was busy writing; "your father wants to see how the people are to go in to dinner." "Here it is, mother," replied Alice; "let me just read it over to you, to see if it is right, and then I'll go with it to my VOL. I. A father. He, of course, takes Lady Burn haven, Sir Charles Lynn must take Clem entina Lemworth, and Captain Fitz Urse Lady Lynn ; then Walter Lemworth must have Miss Lynn, George takes Nora Fitz Urse, and Cicely Seldon and I come off with the boys, Dick and Fred Naylor ; for you, of course, have Lord Francis Thel mar. Will that do ? " " I think so. But is it quite wise to put George and his little Nora together the first night ? " "Oh yes, mother ; I think it's really best.

You know it's kinder towards poor little Nora than any other arrangement could be. She will be more at her ease with George than with a stranger, and he will talk away and make her quite happy. You can't think how nice George is with her." " I daresay he is, my dear," said Mrs Holdinghame, with a laugh, "and so he ought to be if he means all you think ; but with regard to the dinner, I should have imagined that it would be putting the girl en Evidence, and would make her more conscious and shy." " I don't think so, mother ; for if she is the same as she was in the spring, though she looks upon George as a hero, she is not in the least aware of his feelings for her." "Not aware ! I hope he is not making a mistake," exclaimed Mrs Holdinghame, thoughtfully. " Don't you know what I mean, mother ?

I feel sure it's all right, and would be if he was to speak to her to-morrow ; but till he speaks, I doubt if she will realise what it all means." "Well, you have seen them together, and I have not, so I daresay you know best. I do hope your father will like her. He is rather fidgety, I can see ; I'm almost sorry that I gave him a hint beforehand." " I'm not afraid of my father's opinion when once he knows Nora," said Alice ; " and since he does not object, as most fathers would do, to the want of money, I don't imagine he will find any other ob jection. By the by, did not George say he would come down this morning ? It's getting late." " Yes ; I've been expecting to hear him every moment. I hope he is not waiting to come down with the other people. Your father has to go over to Corsield after luncheon, and won't be back till " WHO ARE COMING ?

" 5 dinner-time, and I know he wanted to see George first." " Most likely he has overslept himself and missed his train," laughed Alice ; but as she spoke, the sounds of a firm tread and a cheery whistle were heard approach ing the door, and in walked Captain George Holdinghame. "Good morning, mother," he cried, be stowing a kiss on her and one finger on Alice ; " here I am, worn out with the early hours I had to keep to get down here in time." " I was just prophesying that you were in bed and asleep in King Street," said Alice. "I'm afraid you'll want a nap after luncheon, to make up for your early rising." " No impertinence, child," said her brother, giving her a pat on the shoulder. " Well, mother, I hope you're feeling up to the coming exertions. How are you ? " " Pretty well, thanks, dear.

Did you see your father as you came in ? " " No. Is he in his room ? I ought to go there, for I've got a confession to make;" and Captain George affected an expression of terror. " What is it ? Something very bad ? " asked his mother. " Well, to tell the truth, I believe it affects you as much as my father ; and it's all your fault, too, for making me come down by this train. I shouldn't have done it if it hadn't been for my early rising, and consequent hasty breakfast at the club." " The early bird catching the first worm," remarked Alice. "What on earth is this mysterious ' it ' ? I'm sure ' it ' affects the shooting, or you wouldn't have thought first of my father's feelings." " Well, you're about right this time. What my father will say to another gun, I don't know. I hope you won't mind much, mother, though I fancied you were one man too many already."

" No, we are not, for we've secured another lady since you were here ; so I don't mind the man, if your father does not object to the gun." " I don't think he will when he hears who it is. What do you think of de Quemys, mother ? " " What ! your Indian friend who saved you from the tiger? Is it really Mr de Quemys, George ? " and Mrs Holding hame looked quite excited. " Oh, I am ?" 8 so pleased ! I always wished to know him. Of course your father will be enchanted to have him." " Where did you pick him up, George ? " asked Alice. " I thought he was never in England." " No more he has been, till a few days ago," replied her brother. " It was quite a lucky chance my running up against him as I came out of the club. I found he had come over from Australia about some business, and did not at all know how long he might be kept in England ; so I told him, will he or nill he, he must come down here at once and be made known to you all."

" Quite right," said Mrs Holdinghame, " and I know your father will think so too. ?" 9 "A lucky chance your catching him," observed Alice. " I should have thought he would have had a great many old friends to go and see, and would have been deeply engaged." " No ; he particularly said that he had looked up no old friends yet, and felt like a fish out of water in England." " How long has he been away ?" asked Mrs Holdinghame. " Somewhere about twenty years, I be lieve." " Oh, then he must be getting on in years," said Alice. " I'm rather glad ; I was afraid he was only a contemporary of yours, George." " Complimentary to my contemporaries," laughed George. " What do you find the matter with them, my dear girl ? " " 10 " Oh, they're too young," said Alice : " that is, I don't so much mind when they are your age ; but your sub, Lord Francis, for instance, is only just a degree removed from being a boy."

" He's older than you, my child," observed George, parenthetically. " And then Dick's old school friends must all be treated as young men now, and they are such boys ! " " You'd better not say that before Dick," observed her mother. " Dick knows my opinion," said Alice, calmly. " But, happy thought ! your friend's coming will give us a change at dinner. Mr de Quemys must take Cicely Seldon, and Dick will go in alone." " I'd rather you had de Quemys your self, Alice," said her brother. " I want him to feel at home ; and if he's like me, Miss Seldon would friofiten him out of his five senses." " For shame, George ! you're always so hard upon poor Cicely. She really is improved now. She can play lawn-ten nis, and she actually laughed of her own accord at one of my father's jokes last night." " Her intellect must be developing," remarked George drily, while Mrs Hold inghame put in — " It's all very well for you to talk, but the poor girl has never had a chance of learning how to do anything but be ter ribly in earnest over everything.

With her home, what else can you expect ? I really am glad to have her here to thaw a little." " Oh, there's no harm in her," said George, "but she frightens me, I confess. I've always a strong suspicion that she is taking mental notes of every word that is spoken, in order to put it into a common place-book. Holloa, Alice ! you look con scious. I shall give de Quemys a hint, so that he may only tell such travellers' tales as he wishes to be made public." " If Mr de Quemys is as bashful in ladies' society as George thinks, shall we give him Amelia Lynn, mother ? " sug gested Alice, maliciously. "She would help him on, and save him all the trouble of talking." " Ha ! the fair Amelia ! " exclaimed George ; " I haven't seen her since she has come out. What is she like?" "A pretty good specimen of the cen- " WHO ARE COMING ?

" 13 tury. She knows everything a great deal better than her parents, and goes in for all sorts of lectures and classes, with a dash of high art. She has a glorious smattering in her head, and is always ready to talk on any given subject. It's rather fun having her here for the ball, for she has a soul above such vanities just now, though in her heart of hearts I'm sure she likes the 'world,' and is pleased that Lady Lynn insists on her going into society. No one would be more bored than Amelia herself if she were to be left to her books, as she says she desires to be left. It's rather fun to watch her and her parents together." " Don't be unkind, Alice," said Mrs Holdinghame ; " and remember they will be our guests." " Never mind, mother ! " cried George ; " these are only private and confidential hints.

And now I think I know about every one. No ; by the by, who is the extra lady you said was coming ? " " Ah ! fancy forgetting to tell you ! What do you think of our dear Lady Burnhaven ? " " What ! your beloved old maid of Bur gate ? Dear me ! how did you get hold of her ? " "Clementina Lemworth wrote word from Stratterton that they were meeting her there ; so we begged her to come on here with the Lemworths, and were lucky enough to find her disengaged. " " Don't you look forward to seeing George's face when he meets our old maid, mother?" ?" 15 " Well, you've gone the best way to work to prepare me to think little of her," remarked George. "If she's so beauti ful and fascinating and clever as you make out, as well as so rich, why is she an old maid ? There must be a screw loose somewhere, say I." " She isn't an old maid yet, George ; " and Alice spoke quite indignantly.

" Why, she's only about thirty-eight, and quite young in looks and figure. I daresay she might have married if she chose." " Yes, I always fancy she must have some history," observed Mrs Holdinghame ; " indeed one can see it in her eyes." " Trust my mother to find out a story in any one's eyes, and a romance in their mouths, if not a tragedy in their noses," ?" 16 interrupted George, in a stage -aside to his sister. " Will she be able to find a story in Mr de Quemys's eyes ? " asked Alice, in the same tone of voice. " You children may laugh at me," said Mrs Holdinghame, " but I can't help read ing, or trying to read, people's histories ; and I feel as sure as if I knew it, that Lady Burnhaven has had a history, and a very sad one too. Why, you remem ber how cheery and pleasant she was all that month we spent next door to each other at Burgate ; and yet at times there was a look on her face that went to my heart, it was so sad."

" Well, I bet you anything you like, Alice," said George, "that my mother finds out her history before her visit's over." II " I don't mind taking the bet," said Alice, "for I don't think even mother is likely to penetrate Lady Burnhaven's secret. She's the most reserved person that I ever knew." " The skeleton kept under lock and key, eh ? Well, she must be strangely un like a woman then." " What a man's idea ! " cried Alice, indig nantly ; " I believe you men are much less reserved than we are " " Good gracious ! " interrupted Mrs Holdinghame, starting up, " there's the luncheon-bell, and I've never taken this list to your father. You must come, George, and tell him yourself about your friend." B vol. 1. "Yes, mother, I'm coming," he said; but as the door closed upon her, he turned to Alice and exclaimed, as if the idea had only just struck him, " By the by, who am I to take in to dinner ?

" " Mother will tell you when the time comes," laughed Alice, with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes ; but as she saw her brother's brow cloud, she added hastily, "Well, it's a shame to keep you in sus pense. It's all right. I took care of that." " Good girl ! " and he came round and gave her a kiss on the forehead as he continued, " And you'll help her, won't you ? Poor dear, she'll be so shy ! I hope she'll be happy." "You do your part, and I'll answer for the happiness," said Alice. " Three days hence you won't need to talk about it, for you'll see it." "Nonsense!" he said; but he looked pleased, and left the room hastily. ARRIVALS. 20

Chapter II. Arrivals

Holdinghame Court was a large, ram bling old house of Elizabethan date, standing rather low down in an extensive park, famed for its beautiful old trees. The ground was broken and diversified in character, rich in woodland scenery and wide stretches of grass, but wanting in water, except on the southern side, where, down one of the glades, a glimpse of the sea could be obtained, some two miles distant. The house itself was full of old oak ; most of the rooms on the ground- ARRIVALS. 21 floor were panelled with carved oak. The staircase was a grand specimen of woodwork, and the hall was noted throughout the county for its size, its panelling, and the beauty of the carv ing. The front door opened into it di rectly, a deep porch only intervening. The Holdinghames used this hall as a sitting-room during the greater part of the year, and here tea was prepared to greet the expected guests about five o'clock on the 14th of November.

The great logs on the wide open hearth were blazing away merrily, and the flames lighted up the old hall far more brightly than the candles scattered about. George Holdinghame came sauntering in, and found his sister on her favourite low stool by the chimney-corner, knitting by ARRIVALS. 22 firelight; Cicely Seldon sitting steadily at a table, with a piece of company work in her hand ; and Dick, with his friend Fred Naylor, playing impromptu valses at the pianoforte, which stood in a little corridor leading to the staircase. " Do hold that row!" exclaimed George, rather testily. " People will be arriving, and will think we've got a Tivoli band in the house." Dick did not say a word, but changed his air maliciously to " I would that my love ! " George did not deign to take any notice, and Cicely Seldon broke in with the question — "Who comes first?"

" They all arrive at the same time," replied Alice ; " our up and down trains have an extraordinary fashion of arriving ARRIVALS. 23 at Corfield at the same moment, which is very detrimental to the possibility of getting hold of luggage and porters, but very convenient for the sending of car riages to meet different parties. Does Mr de Quemys come by this train, George ? " "No, he can't get away till the express ; and it's doubtful if Frank Thelmar will come now." " I say, George, is your tiger friend a dancing man ? " drawled Dick, leaving the piano and swinging himself up on to the back of a high old-fashioned arm chair as he spoke. " It's really important to know," he continued, "and I'm very anxious about it." " I'm sure I can't tell. I've never met him under dancing circumstances, but I ARRIVALS. 24 should imagine he had given it up long ago.

Whence your anxiety ? " "Why, I'm anxious to provide a suit able partner for Alice's beloved spinster. You see, you and I, and Naylor and Thelmar, and even Fitz Urse, are much too youthful, and my father and Sir Charles are as much too old, and Lem worth, being married, will be no fun for her — so there's no one left but your bachelor, and I'm glad to hear that he's no chicken." " Why, you don't mean to say that Alice's elderly spinster dances ! " ex claimed George, in exaggerated dismay, hoping to get a rise out of his sister ; but she took no notice, and Dick went on in his drawling tones — "Well, as you say of de Quemys, I've ARRIVALS. 25 never seen her under dancing circum stances, but I should imagine her capable of cutting the light fantastic toe. There's a springiness in her step and an airiness in her figure which seem to me to pre dict a tendency to waltzes and polkas."

" A frisky spinster of forty ! No, I beg her pardon, of eight - and - thirty ! Good gracious ! how sickening ! Miss Seldon, let me implore you to take warn ing of the way in which a younger gen eration cannot but condemn unseasona ble friskiness in their elders, and to learn in due time to give up the pursuits of youth." Cicely, who could never make out whether Captain Holdinghame was jok ing or not, and who certainly was not guilty of any youthful pursuits, looked up ARRIVALS. in a frightened manner, but said nothing. Alice refused to take any notice of her brother's remarks, and knitted on calmly ; and Dick proceeded in a cool tone, "Don't be too hard upon her, George. She looks very young for her age ; and I think, when you see her, you'll allow her some privileges : even I should not mind asking her to dance.

I think I'll pre engage her for the first waltz at Castle Corfield." " And I shall strongly recommend her to decline the honour," observed Alice; " that is, if she values her safety and freedom from knocks and capsizes. It would be making her a poor return for all her good-nature to you at Burgate, to treat her to one of your waltzes." "Ah! I worshipped her then," said ARRIVALS. 27 Dick, meditatively ; " but when a fellow's on the flat of his back, he naturally adores the angel who sings divinely, lends him books, and takes him out driving in the only vehicle that doesn't shake him to bits, especially if the angel has a pretty face." " Pretty face ! " muttered Alice, indig nantly ; and Dick winked across at George, and said under his breath — "Ha! I thought that would fetch her." " Mr Naylor," said Alice, looking up pleasantly at the fair - faced youth, who was listening to the discussion with an amused smile, " don't you find Dick sadly deteriorated since his illness ?

The fact is, we were told not to excite him, and so we had to humour all his fancies, till he was quite spoilt. Isn't it sad ? " ARRIVALS. " I always thought Dick had a good notion of how to get his own way," remarked Fred Naylor. " Yes ; but it's much worse now. Do you know that at Burgate he had such constant attacks of headache, or of pain in his back ; and nothing would suit the one but Lady Burnhaven's voice singing or reading to him, and nothing would suit the other but a drive in Lady Burn haven's carriage ? My mother and I actually imagined the place did not suit him, and were going to bring him away, when we discovered the real reason, the hypocrite ! " "Ah, Naylor! I could tell you a few stories of the traps laid by that wise sister of mine to ensure meeting her dearly be loved friend at least twenty times a-day ; ARRIVALS. 29 and wasn't she grateful to me for adding to those opportunities !

" " Hold your jaw, do ! " cried George ; " I hear the carriages coming." " Ah ! and I was to call my mother ; " and Alice sprang to the pianoforte and played a bar or two of " The Campbells are coming," which was answered by Mrs Holdinghame's voice from the top of the stairs saying, "and so am I." Young Naylor looked amused. " Is that the language of the house ? " he asked. "Very much so," replied Alice. "We have a variety of signals for different occasions." A few minutes more, and the old hall was filled with a babel of sounds — greet ings, introductions, the clatter of teacups, ARRIVALS. and interchange of amenities. George's whole attention was concentrated on the reception of his shy little friend Nora Fitz Urse, and until he had seen her put fairly at ease by Alice's cheery greeting, and by his mother's warm-hearted recep tion, and had supplied all her wants after the cold journey, he had eyes for no one else.

At last, as he glanced mechanically round to see if any one needed attention, his eye fell on the one lady present to whom he was a stranger, and to whom Dick was devoting himself assiduously, and talking a deal of nonsense, over which they were both laughing merrily. George started visibly as he took in, with sudden comprehension, the appearance of Alice's "elderly spinster." For Lady ARRIVALS. 31 Burnhaven had one of those rarely beau tiful countenances to which none can refuse admiration. Beauty of expression was there, as well as beauty of feature and colouring. Her complexion, which was clear and pale, with a delicate tinge of colour, retained almost its first fresh ness ; her eyes were of a soft dark hazel, and her hair that warm red-brown which gives an impression of strong vitality ; her figure was slight and good, and her whole air was one of innate dignity, mingled with activity and energy.

The charm of voice and manner as she gave some light answer to Dick's nonsense, completed George's attraction, and catch ing hold of his sister as she passed by, he said with assumed carelessness, " You ought to introduce me, Alice," indicating ARRIVALS. her friend. Alice's eyes twinkled merrily at Dick as she performed the introduction of "my eldest brother," and before either Lady Burnhaven or George could say a word, Dick burst in with — " Behold the peacock of the family, Lady Burnhaven ! the model of our man ners, the elder brother on whose dictum we all depend ! " George looked rather annoyed, but Lady Burnhaven smiled mischievously as she responded — " Well, I congratulate you on your humility, Mr Dick. Do you know that at Burgate I really imagined that you thought yourself the family pea cock ?

" George laughed outright. " I see you comprehend Dick, Lady Burnhaven, and ARRIVALS. 33 don't need to be warned against the eccentricities of his genius." " Ah ! genius is always misunderstood, especially when enshrined in the frame of a younger son. Don't you agree with me, Lady Lynn ? " and Dick heaved a deep sigh as he turned to the portly lady with whom his mother had been conversing. Lady Lynn had little conception of what the talk was about, but having very distinct ideas on the subject of younger sons, she replied at once, " Oh ! go to Amelia to talk of genius ; I leave all that to her : and as for younger sons having genius, it would be much more to the point if they had money. Geniuses spend quite as much money as any one else, as far as I can make out. Talking vol. I. c ARRIVALS. 34 of younger sons, Captain Holdinghame, did I not hear that Frank Thelmar was coming here for the ball ?

Genius or no genius, that's a nice boy." " Not much genius there," muttered Miss Lynn half aloud. She went in for Culture and Progress, and thought the divine afflatus existed in only a few of her most select circle. " Yes, the ' Cherub ' is coming," re sponded George ; " he'll be here for dinner." " Do they still call him the ' Cherub ' ? " asked Lady Burnhaven. " In the regiment we do. No one could help it who sees his chubby face atop of his broad shoulders. Do you know him ?" " I haven't seen him since he was in ARRIVALS. 35 petticoats. All the family were at Rome then, and he was very cherubic in those days ; but he has never been at home when I've been at Redpole, so I really don't know him." " Ah, the dear Duchess ! " cried Lady Lynn. " I do like Amelia to be with her cousins ; but unfortunately we have not been able to go there of late years."

The inability to go there consisted in the lack of an invitation, and of this Lady Burnhaven was aware, as the Duchess was her great friend ; but she kept her amusement to herself, and allowed Lady Lynn to go on talking to her heart's content about Sir Charles's cousins the Thelmars. Sir Charles, to whom George Holding hame had been aide-de-camp when in India, ARRIVALS. was a bluff, straightforward old soldier, with no pretension about him, and much liked in all military circles. Long service, good appointments, ability, and luck, had combined to raise his fortune to a very respectable amount ; and Miss Amelia, as the only child, would be an heiress in a small way. He had lately taken a little place in Essex, where he could indulge his innocent hobby of agriculture ; but Lady Lynn, not content with a position in country society, always insisted on a London house for the season, and in this she was backed up by her daughter.

Lady Lynn was of fairly good extraction ; but her youth, both in single and married life, had been spent amidst the fascinations of military society and garrison towns at home and abroad. Her one ambition was ARRIVALS. 37 to be a leader of society ; and the happiest years of her life had been those in which Sir Charles had held military governor ships. Amelia, with wit enough to see the absurdity of some of her mother's pre tensions, and conscious of her own lack of easy conversation or even of beauty, had early selected High Art and Culture as the line of her ambition. It was easy for her to feel herself better educated than her parents, and it gave her a grand hold over them to be for ever pursuing Progress. In this line she was likely to find a kindred spirit in Mr Walter Lemworth, a young man who, being blessed with a good deal of money, and no property on which to expend it, and having an amiable love of a little knowledge on all subjects, and a strong tendency to theories of re- ARRIVALS. form, spent his time and his money on continually fresh projects for the higher education of the world in general.