From my Verandah in New Guinea. Sketches and traditions ... With an introduction ('New Guinea Folk Lore') by Andrew Lang. With map

Front matter

FROM MY VERANDAH IN NEW GUINEA BY THE SAME AUTHOR. Crown Svo, price js. 6d. THE WESTERN PACIFIC AND NEW GUINEA: NOTES ON THE NATIVES, CHRISTIAN AND CANNIBAL, WITH SOME ACCOUNT OF THE OLD LABOUR TRADE. With a Map. From my Verandah IN NEW GUINEA SKETCHES AND TRADITIONS BY HUGH HASTINGS ROMILLY, C.M.G. DEPUTY-COMMISSIONER FOR THE WESTERN PACIFIC LATE ACTING SPECIAL COMMISSIONER FOR NEW GUINEA AUTHOR OF " THE WESTERN PACIFIC AND NEK GUINEA imitb an JntroDuction By ANDREW LANG, M.A. WITH MAP LONDON DAVID NUTT, 270 STRAND, W.C. TO THE HON. SIR ARTHUR HAMILTON GORDON G.C.M.G. UNDER WHOSE GUIDANCE AND TUITION I FIRST LEARNED TO TAKE AN INTEREST IN THE RACES OF THE PACIFIC AND WHOSE CONDUCT TOWARDS THEM I HAVE ALWAYS ENDEAVOURED TO IMITATE I GRATEFULLY E>e&.catc tbis 3B o o si Port Moreset, New Guinea i88g b CONTENTS. New Guinea Folk-lore pp. xv. to xxvi.

Introduction

. Resolve to go to Fiji at close of London season in 1879 — An additional attraction from knowing nothing of the country or people — Fiji looked upon as the " Cannibal Islands " — Nothing known of the islands of the Solornons, Choiseul, Bougainville, and Bika — Anecdotes of Fiji and its inhabitants reached as far as New Guinea — Despatched by Sir Arthur Gordon to visit the coast — Previous ideas of its appearance and inhabitants had to be abandoned — Saw Finisterre range to an enormous altitude — Every description of coast common to tropical waters, and every variety of soil and climate — Very little known of the country at present day — Much old ground explored by Mr. Chalmers eight years ago — Explorers set themselves absurd tasks — No country in the world better watered — The Empress Augusta River traced to source of Fly River — Sir Peter Scratchley's Diaries published in New Guinea— The future of the colony, and how revenue should be raised therein pp. 1 to 17

Chapter I. From My

VERxANDAH. rainy season — The country inland flooded — Wild-fowl and alligators only able to get about — The north-east monsoon set in early in 18S7 — Bungalow unroofed and young trees destroyed — Deputation of white men from settlement of Granville — Nothing will please them but a regatta — Canoe races for natives, and contests for women and children — Backing the Government cutter resulted in loss of several pounds — The fox-terrier "Jack " and the tame cassowary " Sam " — Visit from a chief of an inland tribe — Looking for ships, which but The CONTENTS. VIII rarely come — Master of Government yacht invited to dinner, who spins some amusing "yarns" — A "row" in the village assumes serious proportions — A woman in the case, one having given her husband some uneasiness — A boat's crew puts an end to the strife Pursuit of " Mikrolepidoptera " for a friend at home— Va-buri the conjurer calls for a stick of tobacco— His method of operating- Difficulty in getting natives to pay visits, but more difficult to prevent them becoming a nuisance .... PP- 1 8 to 29

Chapter II. Ah-li's Wedding

Excitement at Dinner Island — Ah-li, a Chinaman, about to take unto himself a Papuan bride— Services of Jacobo, a Rarotongan teacher, were secured — Ceremony to be on the English model — Ah-li not having the accustomed pig-tail, his bride insisted on his showing cause why said ornament was absent — The explanation given reconciled the lady to the loss, and the marriage was performed — The church was crowded, the bride and all the women being present, but Ah-li did not put in an appearance — Discovered in a wood-shed, in dejected condition, endeavouring to conceal himself — Is resigned to the search party, the only words he was heard to utter during the whole day being " All lity " (all right) — To every question and in response to all congratulations he had but the one stereotyped answer pp. 30 to 36

Chapter III. Some Native Peculiarities

The inhabitants of New Guinea have the Papuan, Malay, and Polynesian blood in their veins — Languages seem to have no end — Standard of comfort low wherever Papuan element shows itself — Malay blood seems to inspire a taste for architecture — Not easy to trace the effect of Polynesian admi.xture of blood — Difficult to collect mythological stories — Reticence of natives as to history of their tribe — Fond of finery, as other savage tribes — For fighting, masks are held in the teeth to lend ferocity to the countenance — The coveted tattoo mark — The Papuan nature without shame, having no brave or chivalrous instincts — He purchases his wife, and she becomes a beast of burden and a servant — Half the year he gorges himself, the other half being spent on short commons — Influence of the Mission on native character — Native women faithful to their husbands after marriage — Not many old men to be seen in the villages — Mortality among children very small — Prevalence of leprosy among natives, but supposed not to be contagious — Senses of sight and hearing acute by nature — Enormous eaters of food, but moderate in drink The "man-catcher" a peculiar weapon . . . PP- 37 to CONTENTS. IX

Chapter IV. Head-hunters And Cannibalism

Cannibalism to European minds a disgusting habit, but cannibals look upon human flesh as something out of the common — Their dislike to being questioned on the subject — Tribes of head-hunters not addicted to the practice — Head-hunting and cannibalism usually go together — The old Fijian belief, that the attributes of the man eaten passed to his consumer — Skulls are thoroughly cleansed by boiling, then hung up in the big house in the village — Six skulls handed over from Moresby Island — The jawbone invariably removed, and a bracelet made out of it — In some cases the skin of the face is preserved — Natives agree in describing human flesh as " very good ; far better than pork" — Cannibalism looked on merely as a change of diet — Cannibals not more savage than communities where the practice is unknown — Human flesh flavoured by habits during lifetime — An Italian in Bougainville became a confirmed cannibal . pp. 59 to 71

Chapter V. Sorcery And Superstition

The Papuan's life regulated by superstition — He believes in ghosts, witchcraft, sorcery, and in an enormous number of spirits — Habits and character of sorcerers — The Motu tribe discarding their superstitions under the influence of the London Missionary Society — Sale and issue of charms — Hereditary spirits not uncommon, but each man creates his own bogies — The sorcerer quite impartial upon whom he brings his power to bear — The native mind susceptible to ridicule — Dancing very rare in south-eastern Archipelago — An ex-sorceress induced to give an exhibition of her skill — She made passes over a child, sendingher to sleep, the same as " the grand pass " in mesmerism — The old woman dictated to an interpreter the incantations she used, which were written in Koitapuan — Mr. Chalmers's translation from the original— The swinging of the grass petticoat done by an imperceptible movement of the hips . pp. 72 to 97

Chapter VI. Fairy Tales

Story of a Snake and a Young Woman, in which a parallel may be found in the nursery tale of "Beauty and the Beast"— Story of how an Eagle and a Snake both wished to marry— Story showing how the Devil on Mount Owen Stanley was killed— Story of how the Dugong first made its appearance— Story showing how the Moon was first CONTENTS. X discovered ; how she was married to the Sun ; and how they dis agreed — Story showing how Weapons were first introduced pp. 98 to 155

Chapter VII

A TRIP TO THE LALOKI RIVER. Shooting expedition to Laloki— First discussed the project in smoking-room of a London club— Distance inland only twelve miles, but good idea of country obtained from this small experience — Went prepared to do battle with any Papuan monstrosity that might present itself — Horses employed were descendants of some left in New Zealand by survivors of ill-fated gold-mining expedition ten years ago- Accompanied by a nondescript pack of hounds — Native bearers complain of weight of their loads, and suggest a " smoke " — After a steep scramble, reach top of the range — View from here very fine — Natives again clamour for tobacco — Search for ducks up the creek — The number of alligators makes the work rather risky — Picked up a few kangaroos — Mosquitos so tormenting that even natives agree to_ sit up all night — In early morning shot duck and teal, and several Goura pigeons — Kangaroo hound killed by an alligator — Natives lament for him — New Guinea not worth visiting merely for sport — Fishing affords more sport than shooting — Anecdotes of sharks — Birds of paradise usually found a considerable distance inland pp. 156 to 171

Chapter VIII

A BOATINCx TRIP TO THE EASTWARD. The whale-boat more convenient than any larger description of vessel for visiting coast tribes and districts, especially during north-west monsoon — A trip with Mr. Chalmers — A crew of eight selected — Va-buri, the jester, taken in order to keep the men in good humour — His amusing behaviour during rapid movement of the boat — The general craving for " bow-bow " (tobacco) — Arrival at Hula — Hospitable reception by Itama, the Rarotonga teacher — His wife's solicitude for the comfort of the visitors — Alligators known to drag natives out of their canoes — A domestic scene at Aroma — Difference between running before strong north-wester and pulling back in teeth of same wind — Boat's crew would only pursue tactics of their grandfathers — If the men get sulky they will do no work at all — An old man (or better still, an old woman) should always accompany such trips, to keep the young men up to the mark.

A Turtling Trip — Native method of killing turtle — The cunning of the animal in obliterating tracks — Taste for turtles' eggs must be acquired, as their peculiar flavour produces nausea in many people pp. 172 to CONTENTS. XI

Chapter IX. The Natives

— AS THEY WERE AND ARE NOW. Protectorate proclaimed on November 6, 1885 — The ceremony three times performed — Effects of the labour trade — First labour ships visited New Guinea in 1883 — Brutality of white men to inveigle natives into the ships — Nefarious tactics employed — Inhuman treatment on board the Lizzie — Commissioners' opinion of the voyage of this vessel, and also of that of the Ceara — Cruise of the Hopeful — Trial of McNeill and Williams for murders committed at Harris Island — Sentence of death commuted by Governor— Three other ships sailed in 1884 for labour recruiting purposes — Inadequate explanations to recruits as to nature of engagements — Natives not physically suited for hard work in cane fields — Cruise on behalf of the Queensland Government — Bundles of trade goods prepared to pay for deceased relatives — Danger of attack from former friends — Rejoicing at seeing returned islanders — Offers of presents by overjoyed natives — Success of cruise should be of service in the future — General remarks pp. 191 to 223

Chapter X. Relations Between Natives And Whites

A matter of serious importance now, and will be more so in the future — ■ Natives only recognize two classes of white men : officers and crew of the Royal Navy and traders — Number of traders very small — ■ Suspicious account of 300 Chinamen being wrecked at Rossel Island, and killed and eaten at the rate of six a day — Natives of the island know nothing of this story — Great sensation created by the murders of Captains Friar, Miller, and Webb — Report bearing on these crimes drawn up by Mr. G. S. Fort — In Papuan communities, after a quarrel no less retaliation than that of death is entertained — Morality of the Papuan women — Seldom spotless before matrimony, but fairly regular after that event — Reid, an American, murdered for molesting native women — Effects produced by intercourse of natives with travellers and explorers — Mountain people look savage and fierce, aud much blacker than coast neighbours — Expedition up the Fly River — Bird collectors and naturalists — White men credited with greater knowledge than they really possess, and the evil intentions of natives often exaggerated . pp. 224 to 255

Chapter XI. Future Of New Guinea

It is possible to speculate on the resources of New Guinea, and how to develop them — Gold-diggers anxious to know something of the CONTENTS. islands — Expedition of Mr. Bevan up an unexplored river in Papuan Gulf— Brought back specimens of rich black sand— Discovery of gold merely a question of time — Beche de Mer industry first started in New Guinea — In China the cured fish is made into soup — At small expense, dugong fishing might be commenced — Timber felled in reckless manner before proclamation of Protectorate — Cedar grown to an immense extent — Water system superior to that of Australia — Pearl-shelling industry wonderfully increased — Purchase of land a difficult question to deal with — Natives cannot understand relinquishing all claim to their land, although they may have disposed of it — Mr. Fort clearly elucidates the land question — Gum of inferior description can be purchased in large quantities — Copra a prolific source of revenue — New Guinea farther removed from the markets of the world than any other country — Conclusion . pp. 256 to Good wine needs no bush, and Mr. Romilly's chapters on a country so little known as New Guinea require no introduction.

But a student of savage stories and beliefs may be permitted to say a word on the examples which Mr. Romilly has collected, only the first fruits, or first flowers, we may believe, from this wide unexplored garden of human fancies. Wherever men are their dreams will be, and the expressions of their hopes, and dreads, and desires. In his fifth and sixth chapters Mr. Romilly gives a brief account of such Pajiman fancies as came within his range ; many more must have escaped him, fleeing before civilization to the hills and the interior, " following darkness like a dream." Mr. Romilly's other chapters I have not seen, or have only glanced at in manuscript ; the remarks which follow are concerned merely with the " folk lore " that he has sent home for English readers. The difficulty of knowing anything about the NEW GUINExA.

FOLK-TORE. XVI religion of savages is, perhaps, the main lesson of Mr. Romilly's little assortment of tales from New Guinea. " The superstitions of the Papuans can hardly be said to resemble any form of religion," he says, and yet we know from other sources that Papuans, in Melanesia, have the general elements of religion, like other people. Mr. Codrington's researches prove that they possess a kind of creator, who is also a god, in addition to their stock of mere wandering spirits and ghosts. " It seems entirely foreign to the native mind ever to have conceived an idea of a beneficent spirit," Mr. Romilly ob serves ; but the prayers to Qat, printed by Mr. Codrington, prove that the idea is not alien to the minds of the Solomon islanders. The truth is, that Mr. Romilly gives us but a glimpse of Papuan religious conceptions, a most interesting and genuine glimpse, but probably there remain ideas and rites which have escaped his observation.

To students of these difficult matters, the accidental character of what is revealed makes it all the more valuable. Mr. Romilly's tales and hints are uninfluenced by prevalent theories. He tells us what he has dis covered, and he does not sophisticate the narrative by thinking of what he ought to have discovered, if Mr. Herbert Spencer reasons well. What strikes one first is the conspicuous want of logic and consistency in the native beliefs. Mr. Max Mliller has decided that reports of savage faiths are less trustworthy by reason of their lack of con sistency. It might more plausibly be argued that any consistency in these legends would infallibly prove the inaccuracy of the report. To be incon sistent and incoherent and self-contradictory is the very differentia and characteristic of myth, of the beginnings of speculation.

The Papuans believe the spirits "to be intangible and supernatural, and yet assert that they can kill them with arrows or spears." We have heard before of the half-converted Gaul who wished to find God that he might kill Him, and of Ares, who fled from Diomede. A form of magic in which the wizard threatens the gods is familiar to ancient Egypt, and need not amaze us when it recurs (as it does) in New Guinea. The working religion, as far as it came under Mr. Romilly's notice, was Magic. Every one imagines bogies for himself, or trades on the paternal stock, and conjurers pretend to influence the demons, their familiars. These, like the ghosts in Homer, speak in a thin voice ; they ' ' squeak and gibber " like the sheeted dead, or " like bats in some dark cavern." The spirits, as in Scotland, or France, or Japan, or where you will, become visible in the form of animals, flying foxes, or other nocturnal beasts.

And, so NEW GUINEA FOLK-LORE. far, Papuan magic is just like other magic, found where you please. Papuan familiars are like Finnish Saivos, or like the pet spirits of witches in the old European trials for sorcery. An intelligent traveller like Mr. Romilly, can find this much out for himself, in spite of the native disinclination to talk about their superstitions. " They have a scared look on their faces when questioned, and the information has to be dragged out of them bit by bit." This is not a good nor trustworthy method of investigation, and Mr. Romilly, like other explorers — like Hartt on the Amazon, for example — found that his best plan was to listen to the men as they talked among themselves round the camp-fire. But, even thus, Mr. Romilly did not penetrate their secret so far as to know whether they believe in the migration of the human soul into beasts.

He did not learn why the large trees in the Louisiade group were honoured by sacrifices. He did not discover whether there is a special Hades, a home of the Ghosts, as in New Zealand and the Solomon Islands, or whether the future life was confined to haunting the fields the dead man knew. Mythology was apparently absent, though there are grains of myth, the myth of a Culture Hero, and of a hill-haunting God, and of the cause of solar and lunar movements, in two of Mr. NEW GUINExA. FOLK-LORE. XIX Romilly's popular tales. Ancient historical tra dition, so enduring among Maoris and Polynesian peoples, are lacking in these New Guinea tribes. But Mr. Romilly is, perhaps, mistaken in taking it for granted " that they have no mythology of any interest." It is extremely improbable, for example, that the Papuans organize dances in which birds and fishes are represented and are honoured, without possessing any legends of Totemism, of descent from and mystic religious connection with these creatures.

Dances of this kind are usually Mystery Plays, and in them a religious myth is acted, as in America and South Africa. In short, Mr. Romilly's remarks on native belief and religion tell us little beyond this truth : beliefs are not to be readily discovered and easily recorded. This is now pretty well known. Travellers and missionaries are no longer believed when they report, after a few days' experience, that this or the other people are Atheists, or, on the other hand, possess a misty tradition from the Old and New Testaments. Inquirers are more wisely content to say what they succeeded in discovering, without drawing inferences needlessly wide and wild. Probably the Papuans have far more religion and far more mythology than Mr. Romilly detected, but, on the other hand, what he did detect is undoubtedly genuine.

XX We may arrange his discoveries as — i. Medicine and Sorcery. 2. Popular Tales. 3. Myths. 1. Medicine appears to combine invocations of the spirit of the disease, or even prayers to a higher Spirit, with mesmerism and mere sleight-of-hand. First, there is the Incantation, or Prayer for the Sick, then the mesmeric passes, then the pretence of extracting some foreign substance from the body of the invalid. In one case the barbed point of a spear was produced. I have seen forms 1 and 3 practised in a Scotch village, by some local wiseacre, on a child with toothache. There was the mumbled formula, and there was the extraction of some purely imaginary "worms" from the tooth. In New Guinea, Mr. Ptomilly found that the incantation was in Koitapuan, a language not familiar in the district where it was employed.

The dialect, too, was obsolete, or all but obsolete, and very probably parts of the charm, like popular charms in general, had dwindled into mere gibberish. The analogy of Egyptian magical texts, sometimes unintelligible to the ancient Egyptians themselves, and written in a language " dead before Menes' day," may be noted. The essence of the prayer is directed to a spirit called Devasi : the spirit puts what she is to say into the mouth of the woman. In the prayer for harvest, it is not very clear whether a god is appealed to, or whether the yams are implored, as it were, to work out their own salvation (page 95). The ceremony of striking the floor by the hands of the conjurer may remind us of a similar rite in the service of the Achæan Demeter, and in the Zulu appeals to the spirits below the earth. 2.

Popular Tales. Probably Mr. Romilly's are the first examples of popular tales, or marchen, from New Guinea. Un luckily, they are too few to help greatly in solving the problem of the diffusion of popular tales. They do not so closely resemble certain European stories as the tales of the Zulus, and of even Red Indian and Soudanese or other African races do. We have here no " Puss in Boots," and no " Cinderella." There is just a touch of " Beauty and the Beast" in the " Story of a Snake and a Young Woman." But the lover adopts a bestial form, like Zeus, to serve his private and amorous ends. He is not enchanted by some malevolent person ; his ugliness does not win the heart of Beauty ; it is merely a disguise to secure his safety, as in the Zulu form of the narrative. The idea of being able to assume a bestial form at will is common to all mythologies.

To use it as an amorous disguise is as common in c NEW GUINEA FOLK-LORE. Australian as in Greek fable. In New Guinea the power denotes "a great chief" (page 101), showing the usual connection between Rank and Magic. For the rest, there are local touches of interest, as in the relations between Bush and Coast tribes, connected yet hostile, and in the . conduct of the Girl, when, like some hero of a Northern Saga, she " sings a song of reproach." There is also a hint of wife-purchase, as in Homeric Greece. " Every one must get pigs, and pearl-shells, and boars' tusks, and bracelets, for I must go to Hannabada to pay for my wife." We observe, too, the well-known belief, that if a metamorphosed person is wounded, the wounds show on his own proper person when he assumes it again. Stories of witches, wounded in the form of hares, and retaining the hurt when they become old women again, are veiy common in Scotland, and Lafitau found precisely the same fancy in North America.

In this way even the most barbarous popular tales belong to the general stock of fanciful inven tion, and throw light on customs and on character. The sequence of incidents, however, has only the faintest analogy to a world-wide romantic formula. "The Eagle and the Snake" is of little interest, except as a proof that in New Guinea, as elsewhere, beasts and birds could speak in the beginning of the world. " The Devil of Mount Owen Stanley " is a local variant of the popular legend in which skill conquers force. Here we have the Papuan " Jack the Giant-Killer." The tale of the " Dugono- " illus trates the strange relations between Coast and Bush tribes; they are "linked battalions," as it were, connected but unfriendly. In New Caledonia the same state of affairs exists. The legend accounts, by metamorphosis, for the origin of dugongs, and is only one of a myriad of such fables. 3.

The most curious, characteristic, and poetical of all these myths from New Guinea (we may say Myth here, as the story accounts for natural phe nomena) is " how the moon was discovered." A Papuan Keats must have invented this fable of a Papuan Endymion. Before science hit on the idea, or the guess, must have been told this tale of how the moon was born from the earth, and rose above her. The story explains the moon's light, vaporous and ineffectual. Through the strange outlines of the marchen we seem to discern a parable of the World's Desire. We have all been lovers of the moon, impossibilium cujiitores, and each of us has disengaged from earth, and things earthy, that beauty which haunts us, unattainable in dreams, " Did I not tell you that the jewel I found was alive, and was a woman ? " The Papuan, like NEW GUINEA FOLK-LORE.

Actæon, looked on Artemis unveiled; "his dogs set up a great barking, and he saw the most beautiful woman he had ever beheld bathing herself in the river." For one day they were lovers, "and then the spirit of the moon told him that he had but one day to live," for the embraces of goddesses are deathly. The whole fiction is full of the very genius of romance and the love of the ideal. In Papua, too, there are poets and mentem mortalia tangunt. The rest of the story is mere solar and lunar myth, accounting for the movements of the heavenly lights by reason of human jealousy. Every race has these tales, from the Eskimo to the Malagassies. But the Papuan romance of the moon's mortal minion, of his quest, and of the end when From long desire came brief delight," is worthy of the genius of Greece.

The romance does not appear to have been suggested by any wish to account for the wanings and waxings of the moon. It is a fable of the moon's first love, and indeed, a fable of all first loves, all great desires, and all impossible delights : " Did I not tell you that the jewel I had found was alive, and was a woman ? " Poetry is the gift of no one race ; like Nature, she "never gave herself to one," but surprises us, and shines on us here, among this rude race of head-hunters, like the apparition of the white, yellow haired woman among the reeds of the river. If Poetry has deigned to visit the Papuans, why should Religion have hid her face from them ? We cannot believe that she has been hidden, though the traveller may have been less fortunate in the search for her. The "Story showing how Weapons were first Introduced" (page 143) is, in the beginning, only one of the many tales of the wily child, like Hermes in the Homeric hymn, whose wise weakness conquers force.

But the child ends by bringing Death and the weapons of Death into a world which knew not Death before. " I will show you how to kill each other properly ! " " Now you will all die when your time comes But let none of you in the future come up here, for I cannot die, and I shall be here always " — that is, on the unclimbed mountain crest. So Mount Yule becomes a kind of Sinai, and the strange child is developed into something very like an immortal God — the Lord of Death and Life. A race which possesses these parables must have many more, and perhaps better. We can hardly suppose that a people so much more prosperous and developed than the Australians has infinitely less of religion and of myth than they are known to NEW GUINEA FOLK-LORE. retain. These pages of Mr. Romilly's are only a fragmentary chapter out of the history book of the human spirit.

They are offered with a palpable sincerity, and are untainted by any desire to make a point in favour of this, that, or the other theory of religious development. Nor do they, in fact, tell more one way or the other in the long controversy as to the nature of religion and of myth. But, as time goes on, and the missionary and the traveller approach the Papuan, his stories will become less and less valuable and trustworthy as evidence, more and more tinged with what he learns from the white man. There is the greater reason to hope that myths and story will be collected now, before they are improved off the face of the earth, even in New Guinea. ANDREW LANG. FROM MY VERANDAH

INTRODUCTION.

. It was at the close of the London season of 1879, at one of the latest balls given that year, that, after a long conversation with Lady Gordon,* I decided to go to the young colony of Fiji, of which at that time Sir Arthur Gordon was Governor. Perhaps there was an additional attraction to me in the scheme, from the fact of my knowing absolutely nothing about either the country or the people. In common with most people at that time, I still looked upon Fiji as the " Cannibal Islands," and imagined that a man carried his life in his hand, and tilled the soil or pursued his usual avo cations armed to the teeth. I need not say that these iUusions were dissipated long before my arrival in the colony. But though life in Fiji at that * Since the above was written, the Hon. Lady Hamilton Gordon has died early in the present year at Malta, an event which the author will learn with the deepest regret.