Dragons' Teeth

Front matter

DRAGONS' TEETH. BY THE REV. JAMES PYCItOFT, B.A. TEINITt college, oxford, AUTHOR OF "twenty years in the church," "elkerton rectory," "AGONY POINT," ETC. ETC. IN TWO VOLUMES. VOL. II. LONDON: L. BOOTH, 307 REGENT STREET, W. 1863. [Tin Right of Translation is Baerved.] LONDON: Stbangbways and Walden, Printers, 28 Castle St. Leicester Sq. CONTENTS. PAGE Chapter I. The Course of True Love never does run Smooth . 1 Chapter II. Every One has his Say upon the occasion . . 16 Chapter III. The " Common Room" ..... 25 Chapter IV. How Blessings prove Blisters .... 36 Chapter V. How the Ladies are the Worst .... 43 Chapter VI. Wholesome Truths, though rather late . . .58 Chapter VII. " Coming Events cast their Shadows before . . 81 Chapter VIII. The Sisters meet at last ..... 94 Chapter IX. Trouble upon Trouble ...... 103 Chapter X. Too Smooth to be Desirable .... 112 Chapter XI.

How Ladies cannot always Agree . . . .126 Chapter XII. Female Stratagems ...... Contents. IV PAGE Chapter XIII. The Woes of Woman 158 Chapter XIV. Walford meets an Old Acquaintance . . .163 Chapter XV. Hard Times for more Persons than One . . 196 Chapter XVI. Whether Married or Marred, it is hard to say . 230 Chapter XVII. Explanations . ■ • 238 Chapter XVIII. Walford decides on Mild Measures . . . 250 Chapter XIX. Too Smooth to last 270 Chapter XX. How the Dragons' Teeth produce Armed Men . 286 Chapter XXI. Some Account of the Brood that springs from Dragons' Teeth ...... 295 Chapter XXII How Things must be Worse before they are Better 307 Chapter XXIII. "All's Well that Ends Well," though some Things end otherwise ...... 321 Chapter XXIV. Things shake to Right wonderfully well considering

Chapter I. The Course Of True Love Never Does Run Smooth

The nearer Ned Walford drew to tbe hour appointed the less he liked it. There Avas hardly sufficient opposition or difficulty to keep up the excitement. And this reminds us of one of the wise saws of Mrs. Winter. ' Mrs. Winter once remarked, that " of all the wrong-headedness aud the rubbish with which the devil imposed on silly young folk, what they called 'love' was the most ozcdacious — as long as there was a difficulty or opposition, solong it was sure to last ; whereas, the girl that Avas to be had for asking was the last to have her banns up." On this principle- — believing that Cupid ever delights to fly against the wind — we deem it fortunate for the interest of this chapter of the VOL. II. R Walford family history that there was a little plotting and adventure, and so far there was a dash of excitement in the plan proposed.

The gentleman had to steal away from King's College, Oxford ; the lady and her bundle were also to contrive an escape from the "Stag Inn," Woodstock. Still, this was hardly diffi culty enough to fire him. His humour had of late been tried by a strange variety of altera tives — everything had been operating with a strong countervailing tendency. Tor, first, having noAV recovered from his accident, Ned had enjoyed a hard run Avith the hounds. After this — a very severe run — he had left off nine miles the other side of Banbury ; and this violent shake up, added to plenty of " bishop," or mulled port, at supper — all being' within four-and-tAventy hours of "the great event to come off" at Woodstock — very materially altered the general colour and complexion of things without, from the gradual revolution that had been wrought on the man within.

Then a letter had come from his mother, full of hopes, suggestions, and maternal wishes and expectations, all which savoured of a far more natural and sensible course of things — expectations utterly to be foiled by the mad step he was about to take. HE does not half like it. Even the general routine of College life — lectures, parties, and engagements various — all coming in as usual, and implying on the part of all the College a general presumption of finding Ned Walford in the same College rooms, between Chapel and Hall, on the morrow — even this made him feel that the stream was all against him, and that there was something very startling and " abnormal " in Avhat he Avas about to do. "What's that portmanteau for?" asked Le Croix, who happened to catch sight of one as Ned's bedroom-door Avas open.

" You are not going down before the end of term, impatient for the Avoodcocks — are you, noAV?" Ned gave some evasive reply. Later in the day, as he was stealing out of College Avhile the men Avere in Hall, the very sight of the tables in the lighted hall, Avith blazing fire, and some ninety men — some Avith heads down, eating, and some AA'ith their chins up in air, talking between the acts — this, as also being run against by a scout with his hands full of hot peAvter plates, tended still more to make the walk out of College — never, perhaps, to be alloAved to come in again — anything but consistent with unruffled composure or plea surable reflections. Even John Green, when he came for the portmanteau, and the same John, again, when he brought Ned out his dog-cart, seemed very blank and discouraging : he had not as much as one knowing, cheerful word to say to him.

Very strange on so interesting an occasion ! Ned remembered afterwards, that John Green spoke rather ominously and monosyllabically, as if he were not half hearty in the cause : there was also a keen wind blowing, and a cold driz zling rain ; so, everything that evening conspired to make Ned feel that all was bleak and nega tive — nothing seemed genial or sympathising in his undertaking : though every bridegroom, even under the most favourable circumstances, feels the support and countenance of a friend much more than a mere formal and complimentary attention. HoAvever, in half an hour things looked brighter. The rain ceased: the sky cleared: stars were visible, and already Ned anticipated the comfort of a moonlight night. His cigar, too, had begun to produce its usual sedative effects ; and by the time he had enjoyed a glass of brandy and water at the famous "Barley Mow," near the Stanley Gate, all his old pleasure able associations at nearing Alice had resumed their former sway — he had shaken off all the qualms of starting, and was almost himself ao-ain.

AN INTERESTING SITUATION. 5 Had anything more been wanting to make him wholly hearty in the cause, Ned had been a sorry felloAv indeed, and Avholly umvorthy our acquaintance, if he had not found it in a little incident which shortly followed. On reaching the deer-stile at the end of Blenheim Park — the place of assignation, as already mentioned, — at first, no one was to be seen. Ned was astounded. What could have happened ? Had the lady fair been foiled in her fugitive attempts ? After waiting a few minutes, first one person and then another passed down the road, and all seemed to turn aud look inquisitively at Walford. This looking and staring seemed suspicious — though people will naturally look at a gentleman waiting in the road, in a dog-cart, after dark. Having looked to their full satisfaction, tAvo or three walked on, and soon, as it happened, Avere succeeded by some others.

At length, all Avas still — no more were in sight: and, just as Ned Avas making a thousand painful conjectures about the non-appearance of Alice, he thought he saw something moving in the hollow of the bank on one side of the road. A single glance, by the strong light of his gig-lamps, shoAved him who it must be: when, almost speechless from agita tion, out crawled the poor Alice, bundle and all. She had been at the place appointed some time: and terrified imagination had conjured every tra veller into a pursuer, till she thus had taken refuge behind the brushwood, shrinking into the very holes of the earth for terror ! Ned's heart Avas touched Avith pity : all his generous resolutions to rescue Alice from her persecutors — those horrid Woodstock loons — once more glowed Avithin his breast, and, with one word of fondness, he had reached her with his hand, relieved her of her bundle, and seated her safely by his side.

Then briefly saying, " Cling fast to me, my dearest, till we are clear away," he set himself Avell to his work, with both hands feeling the mouth, and giving Avay to the struggling neck of his favourite mare, who at once sprang off with her best spanking pace, and was far aAvay in the open country before the trembling Alice could realise where she was. It was not till Ned had struck off from the main road into the cross-country Ian es, to intercept the London mail, at the point arranged with Mr. John Green aforesaid, that the mare, OAvning the severity of the hill by her slackened pace, gave Ned time to throAv some good soft tweeds around the shivering traveller, and to talk composedly of their journey. Composure, however, with Alice, Avas little to be expected. There is not NOW THEY ARE OFF ! 7 ahvays much composure, even when the bride is led by approving friends and relatives to step, proud and triumphantly, into the coach-and-four.

So we must feel for the trembling of this poor, hunted hare — this captive flying from the house of bondage — and supported only by the one and only arm that, of all she knew in those inhos pitable parts, would not have been rather raised against her. Besides, first love is a very revolu tion in the heart of Avoman; and all the throb bing hopes and thrilling fears that man knows, perhaps, in the crisis of a life, are surging in her tender bosom within the compass of an hour. Ned much feared, at one time, Alice would have fainted, or gone into a fit: she wept and sobbed so convulsively, from the unnatural tension of nerve she had for days endured, yielding at this the first moment of her relief. Ned's "pocket-pistol," with a sip of brandy, came most timely to his aid — and he comforted her by the arrangements he had made for the whole inside of the mail, and the care he would take of her at the inn at Henley.

But, all this while, Walford had forgotten that the paces of his favourite mare had been instinctively quickening Avith the quickened pulse of her driver, and he would evidently fall into the London road nearly an hour earlier than the mail would pass the four crossways : so, remembering the "Three Black Crows," a small wayside inn, always provided with bis cuits, cherry-brandy, and a good recipe for egg hot, and such-like comforts, exclusively intended to tempt " the Oxford Collegers " to stop and bait, to diversify a mere idle drive — Ned resolved on stopping, to give Alice some tea, and endea vour to calm and revive her spirits. Some older men, and some wiser women than Alice, might have seen danger in this little arrangement, seeing that, to all persons of age and experience, queer coincidences, and meetings with the very last people in the world you would expect to meet, have occurred so often, that we learn at last never to throAv a single chance aAvay.

But, happily, old heads are rarely found on young shoulders, or the game of life — like games that are played to a certainty, and the end to be seen from the beginning — were too dull and monotonous to be played at all. How ever, Ned shouted for the landlord to take his horse, and had soon led Alice — as confidently as any country gentleman would have led his wife — into the inn. Little did he consider that the stamp and style of the " young Oxford Col leger " was implied by his very age, look, and manner, as well as by his garb and equipage, as plainly as if graven upon his brow and painted THE RECOGNITION. 9 upon his dog-cart. This oversight was excusable enough : but he might at least have remembered that no lady was so likely to be recognised all the country round as the barmaid of the " Stag."

There was only one little parlour, Avith avoocI fire, and settle, and bright brass kettle and Avarming-pan, by Avay of ornaments, as usual, and in this room Walford found two young farmers, having a quiet glass and quiet chat Avith Mrs. Bolam, the landlady. " We are rather too soon for the mail, Mrs. Bolam, and will trouble you for some tea." " Yes, sure, Sir," said the good woman, ex pecting to see nothing less than a respectable married lady, of steady age, inside her house at that time of night; when suddenly she started back, and said, — " It isn't, sure-ly, Mrs. Winter's young woman ? No — never ! Why, I can't believe my old eyes ! What ! and out here with a Col lege gentleman, alone, at this hour of the night ! Why, of all I ever knew of these 'Varsity gents, this do shock me most of all !

" "Hush, hush, Mrs. Bolam — all right, I assure you ! " said Walford. " I have left Mrs. Winter's situation now," said Alice, meekly — clearly identifying one of Mrs. Winter's constant customers on every market-day. "And what will Muster Gould, of the glove shop, think about this start, my dear?" said one of the young farmers. "Well, the folks at Woodstock said as nothing would do for you under a gentleman; so I suppose this is it." Walford felt now in a dire dilemma. To speak out was to reveal more than his pride would condescend to accord to what — not understanding the ruder feelings of honest country people — he deemed the most insuffer able impertinence: but, on the other hand, not to speak, were to plead guilty of bringing im proper company into "an honest woman's house" — a point on which ladies of Mrs. Bolam's class were unusually sensitive.

It might also encou rage the loose jests of a couple of boors. So Walford did the best thing he could do under the circumstances. He called Mrs. Bolam aside, and assured her that the said young woman of the " Stag" was a lady in distress, bora to better things, and she would soon hear — and should have a bit of the bridecake — that he had lawfully and honourably married her, and had restored her to her proper position in society. After this brief explanation, which formed waiting for the mail. an interesting adventure in the wayside life of Mrs. Bolam, she became suddenly so deferential to " Miss Hengen," and shot from her screAved-up eyes such telegraphic admonitions to the young farmers, that Alice enjoyed her tea without annoyance, till it Avas once more time to muffle up and step into the dog-cart.

Ned looked at his watch by the light of his lamps before he got up, and said, " We shall just hit the right time. 'Black Bess' will do the distance to the four cross-roads in half-an hour, and then the sight of John Green will assure me that all is right." The moon Avas now up — the air was keen and exhilarating.- The crisp sound under the Avheels, and a little slipping in Black Bess's paces, showed — for it was early in December — that it was a hard, frosty night. HoAvever, they arrived safe at the four cross-roads, and were satisfactorily certified by the man at the toll bar that the mail had not passed, but was due in a few minutes. After a Avhile, " I hear the mail," said Alice. " No, Miss," said the man ; " you can't hear it yet : " for little did he understand that acute tension of the nerves that quickens the ears of those who listen as for life.

But Alice did hear — the mail was coming; and Walford thought there Avas more sound of hoofs and sound of wheels than usual, when quickly Sam Pollard drew up (for that knight of the whip it was), and some other carriage, yards behind, seemed to draw up, too : but as to this, when Walford saw John Green, the man in possession, quickly stepping out to give him " the inside," he little heeded it, but exclaimed, in a matter-of-course tone, — " Well, John, all right — eh ? " " Why, Sir," said John, in a very clear, audible tone, yet intended for a confidential whisper (for it was John's game to play onboth sides), " whether it's all right, or all Avrong, I ain't no judge : only 'tisn't the sort o' manners that, most in general, one Proctor and two bull dogs (officers) reckons all right, and so you'd better make up your mind that's them in the shay behind."

Ned felt something like a shot at the heart — reined up the mare — looked quickly round, and seeing two horsemen riding right up to him, said faintly to Alice, " Hold fast ; I must run for it" — and dashed up the road with the mare at full speed : having just identified the voices of his brother Nat and Tom Snipe calling upon him to hear one word before he went. A full gallop, with all the spring of the A REAL RUNAWAY MATCH. 13 shafts peculiar to a high dog-cart, is perhaps the most frightful motion to which any fair lady's nerves ever were exposed on the queen's highway at ten o'clock at night. And when added to the knoAvn mettle of the mare, which was still further excited by the sound of hoofs clattering close behind her, the pace was some thing desperate — awful in the extreme — and much too severe to last : for Snipe, well mounted, tried carefully to head the mare, when suddenly she shied — swerved — staggered on the foot path — and with one heavy plunge and crashing sound, as of splintered shafts and twanging metal, was floundering in the ditch ; while, as to poor Alice and Walford, they were shot some ten feet at least clear of the trap against the dense, but yielding brusliAvood, of a strong bull fence.

If there is a man in the moon — and if the said lunar gentleman can enjoy a bird's-eye view of all the freaks and vagaries, and all the ups and doAvns of the sorry denizens of this strange earth, he has rarely looked down on a more in teresting picture than was now below his silver orb on that eventful evening. There lay Walford, stunned and motionless ; Alice, embedded in the brake, more frightened than hurt. The mail that was to have borne far away the happy couple, having drawn up to see the worst, was already Avinding far a-head ; Black Bess, clear of her harness, or of most of it, was galloping like mad across the meadoAv; while Nat Walford, Avith much brotherly vexation, and Tom Snipe, Avith an acute sense of the ridiculous, each holding a horse by the bridle, were stand ing at his side — John Green, with an eye to business, Avas examining the dilapidated trap ; Avhile Mr. Wireman the Proctor, and two bull dogs, Avere awaiting returning consciousness to proclaim the University bill of pains and penalties against young men detected in improper com pany ; and penalties yet more severe against young Avomen, who, of course, are ahvays deemed the great corrupters of innocence academical.

But all things have an end. In the drama of life, as in the drama of fiction, hoAvever striking and suggestive the positions, the characters can not of course stand for ever : accordingly, this truly pitiful couple Avere removed in the Proctor's chaise to Oxford ; and Walford, next morning, had a very confused recollection of anything that had happened betAveen seeing Black Bess's bright shoes flashing like lightning about his splash board, and finding himself, Avith a doctor's ap prentice by his side, in his own bed at King's. Poor Alice's night's lodging had Avell-iiioh COMING TO A SMASH. proved very different ; for Mr. Wireman — being, one of those precocious youths who, what with hydrocephalus and cramming, rise, much in ad vance of all worldly knowledge and common sense, to rank among scholars, and eventually to the responsible position of Proctor, or univer sity magistrate — had no discrimination for a case like this, and AArould certainly have disposed of Alice Hengen in precisely the same manner as he dealt with unhappy girls of another class, and was actually sending her by the hand of his satellites to the gaol.

But happily, at this critical moment, Mr. Buxton made his appearance, and for the part that he had that night taken, and the good service done, claimed to be heard on the side of Alice ; and seeing that the chief difficulty Avhich remained consisted in deciding Avhat else was to be done Avith a broken-hearted and hysterical lady at eleven o'clock at night, Mr. Buxton very humanely offered to take her to his house, and to answer for her appearance, if wanted, on the morroAv.

Chapter II. Every One Has His Say Upon The Occasion

It does not take much time for any story as interesting as an elopement to spread through a populous country town; but within the narrow precincts of a college, as in a large family establishment, the news is heard almost at once. " Seven o'clock, Sir," said old Hedges, my scout, to me, on the morning after this spirit stirring adventure, at the same time standing still at the door till I had time to rub my eyes. " Yes, yes ; I hear. But what do you stand there for?" " Mr. Walford, Sir, I was making bold to tell you, did make such an awkward business of it last night — Smashed his trap, Sir, and fell into the hands of the Proctors. He was carried v HOW COLLEGE NEAVS SPREADS. through the porter's lodge after eleven o'clock, most dead, Sir. And the young woman that it was all about, Sir, I heard was Avalked off straight to night-quarters."

" Young woman?" " Yes, Sir. One of Woodstock, Sir. Mr. Walford is better this morning, and has been asking all about it — but they'll be sure to tell him all about it quick enough. There must be a Common Room held upon him, of course, Sir. Porter said he was all in a heap and stupid-like — and he did look very bad Avhen the Proctors brought him in last night. And, late as it Avas, they asked to see Mr. Walesby; so I suppose Mr. Walford is in a fair Avay of having his 'Avalking ticket.' — Don't you think so, Sir?" Every man was rushing up at once to Wal ford's rooms; but the medical attendant, who had enough to do with the bruises and necessary fomentations, kept all away from him till the second day after the accident. Meanwhile, some went to John Green, to learn the history of this very exciting nocturnal adventure from him.

No one suspected the source of the Proctors' information, and as to John, he appeared particularly at a loss to divine it : but one and all of his long stories about the Proctors, the bulldogs, the young woman, the VOL. II. c broken trap, and the trouble he had to catch the mare, Avere accompanied Avith one observation — that " it wanted a deal of ' precious good stuff' — (meaning money) — to manage such a job as this, as should be, and it was all a mistake to try it on economical." Next day, Ned had no lack of visitors — but with far more " chaff" than " kind inquiries" — men of all tastes and habits — men of all views, ideas, and of " sets" — sets sporting, sets literary, or sets dilettanti — all must have their turn at Ned, with observations and remarks more or less sensible or serious, according to their respective habits.

But all these observations, it will be ob served, however various, all bore more or less on one point: that one and all spoke of it as an absurdity, and little less than stark madness, if he even intended to marry Alice Hengen. This was too mad a thing to be believed; so, it Avas generally spoken of as an alliance of a temporary, and, indeed, of a far less respectable nature; Avhile as to the innocence and respecta bility of the lady, and her superiority to others in the same questionable situation in life, that never was deemed worthy of a thought. This was in one sense fortunate for Walford — if, indeed, anything could be fortunate which tended to sap and undermine an engagement WHAT LE CROIX THOUGHT OF IT. 19 which had gone so far to compromise the character of an innocent girl. First, Le Croix came with— "Well, old fel low, you 've ' been and done it,' as the saying is, et nullus error, ' and no mistake.' But why didn't you tell me ?

I would have made your bed up for you, and made it appear you slept in College. If Hedges found a bottle of Avine on your table, he would not have looked very hard at the deception, you know But, what were you thinking of ? Some one betrayed you. No doubt some Avoman, out of jealousy. Was it the mother of that fine brat of yours, do you think, AA'hose health Ave drank at Newnham?" Here Le Croix alluded to a toast, proposed by himself: only, while describing the Newnhain party, we cared not unnecessarily to introduce the speeches of men Avho gloried in their shame. After a whiff or tAvo at his cigar, this cool and self-satisfied judge of human nature con tinued : — " Alice is very pretty, certainly ; but bad style — vulgar. She acts the lady, but not at all like Matilda at Jones' cigar-shop does it better by a great deal — Alice's attempt is too apparent — it won't do.

No, no. You could not have been such a flat as to be caught by that .♦ " Really, when I first heard it, I did not be lieve it was you. I suspected Elwyn of Corpus : he is always after Alice. RickAvorth said, No. He suspected either Wilder of University, or else Fred. Owen, of New Inn Hall. Alice would go off with some one, that was very clear. Mother Winter was au old fool to choose such a decoy duck. But, my good fellow, if you would put yourself in danger's way, this was bad taste ; indeed it was — slow — green — and all that kind of thing. All the men in our set will be sure to vote it slow. Come, if you do get out of this scrape, you must for the future — indeed you must — be just a little more select." Walford no more dared to stop this repre sentative of public opinion — to say that Alice was a lady, and he intended to treat her as such — than he dared to bite his fingers off.

Walford was one of those men — their name is Legion — who would rather plead guilty to being a little of the knave, than be laughed at as a fool. Le Croix then went on to tell light tales — false, every one — at Alice's expense, leaving an undoubted impression on the mind of Walford that he had been encountering one danger more than he had reckoned on. Evidently, it were idle to think of proving to his mother, his WHAT NORMAN THOUGHT OF IT. 21 relations, and the county families generally about Richcourt, that he had married some one better than a barmaid ; when public rumour, like Mr. Wireman, the Proctor, had ranked her as belonging to a wretched class, far, far lower still. This may seem a cruel injustice to Alice Hengen ; but the simple explanation is this :— There are certain positions in which it is very difficult for Innocence itself in female form to keep a character, and Alice had been thrown into one of these critical positions, and fared accordingly.

By the time Le Croix was about to leave, Norman came to have his say. He said he just stepped in to make polite inquiries, and hoped Walford was as well as could be expected ; that the correct etymology of Woman was " Woe-to man," and that the correct derivation of the word Proctor was from the two Latin words, pro for, and curro to run — that is, "to run for to catch" the said workers of woe to the lords of the creation ; and certainly, true to their office, they did allow the poor creatures as little quar ter as any animal in all natural history. He sympathised with Walford as a very ill-used in dividual, because he had, at all events, attained to years of discretion, whether the discretion had made its appearance or not ; and his notions of the liberty of the subject were, that full-grown children had a Magua-Charta right to burn their oavii fingers in their own way. — He ended by saying, he was sorry to find Walford's morals of so low a type ; but since all naughty young men, from the idle apprentice to the profligate young lord, Avere ahvays supposed to be victims to artful females, and to require being vaccinated with folly and inoculated with naughtiness, while women had it in the natural way.