Mem Sahib: or, Should She have told him?

Front matter

MEM SAHIB; OR SHOULD SHE HAVE TOLD HIM? MEM SAHIB ; OR SHOULD SHE HAVE TOLD HIM? BY MRS. FRANK T. PLATTS. LONDON: HAMILTON, ADAMS. & CO. BEDFORD : F. HOCKLIFFE. 1885. TO MY CHILDREN, IN REMEMBRANCE OF MANY HAPPY' DAY'S SPENT IN THE LAND OF THEIR BIRTH. CONTENTS. PAOE Chapteb I. My Mothee and I . . . . . . . . . . 1 II. Captain Leslie . . . . . . . . . . 6 ,, III. Reteospeot .. .. .. .. .. .. 17 ,, IV. Deception.. .. .. .. .. .. ..26 ,, V. The Votaoe 35 ,, VI. First Impbessions . . . . . . . . . . 42 VII. Life in the Moftjssil . . . . . . 56 VIII. Sonepoee 68 IX. Little Lilian . . . . . . . . 79 X. Change 88 ,, XI. In Camp 97 ,, XII. Fubtheb Difficulties .. .. .. .. .. 105 ,, XIII. A Ceisis 113 „ XIV. Home Again 119 ,, XV. Conclusion

Chapter I. My Mother And

I. <2^ JjTLN" the year eighteen himdred and sixty-six my mother *as-> and I went to reside in a quiet little town in the north of England called Narborough, its dulness and quietness being in my mother's eyes its chief attraction. There wre lived in almost exclusive retirement, no one entering our house from one year's end to another, while we did not form more than a casual acquaintance with any of the residents, as my mother rejected all advances towards closer intimacy. The only change in the monotony of this existence occurred during my brother's holidays, which we invari ably passed with him either in London or at the sea-side. I was sixteen when this curious isolated life began, and it was happy enough but for the secret sorrow known only to ourselves that weighed upon us all. I was devoted to my mother, and we were inseparable, and in her sweet companionship I hardly felt the want of that of my own age.

Nearly five years had passed in this quiet way when, on our return to Narborough on the termination of the Christmas holidays, an incident happened, which, though slight in itself, completely changed the tenor of my life. A very hard frost had set in, and one afternoon I persuaded my mother to walk with me to a private lake in the neighbourhood in order that I might have some skating. Poor mother, it was dull enough for her, but to me the exercise was so charming that I cared little that I was all alone in its enjoyment, for amidst all the throng there was only one person I recognized — a Miss Newton — with whom I was brought in contact in connection with the various charitable duties which devolve upon our sex in a small town like Narborough. She had attracted my attention from the first and I had often wished that I could know her better.

On this occasion she wras accompanied by a stranger whom I had noticed several times since our return, a man of about thirty years of age, tall and manly looking, with a sandy coloured beard and moustache. They had passed me at a bend in the lake, but presently I overtook them and as I came up I heard Miss Newton say, evidently in reply to a question of her companion, " She and her mother live a very retired life and no one here seems to know anything about them ; but I agree with you she is very pretty, and I should like to know more of her." At this moment I darted past them trying to look as 'if I had not overheard their conversation, and in my anxiety to escape their notice I stupidly skated up to the end of the lake, where the ice was thin and rotten ; the result was that the ice broke and I fell on my hands and knees into the muddy water.

I scrambled to the bank without much difficulty, and as I sat there a rueful undignified spectacle vainly trying to get rid of my muddy gloves, Miss Newton and her companion came up, and the latter courteously inquired if he could help me by taking off my skates. My only further anxiety then was to let my mother know of my disaster. I knew she was on the opposite bank of the lake, but I did not feel sufficiently courageous to face the crowd in my present condition. This difficulty was overcome by Miss Newton, who offered to go in search of my mother, asking Captain Leslie to look after me. They soon returned together, and before we hurried home my mother, in her brightest manner, warmly thanked my new friends for their kindness to me. This incident, trivial in itself, was such a break in the monotony of my life that it filled my mind to the exclusion of all other thoughts ; so much so that when next morning my mother entered my room dressed for travelling, looking ill and wreary, I exclaimed in astonishment, " Going away, mother ?"

Her face showed her feelings. " What has happened ?" she asked coldly, " to make you forget what day this is ? " I blushed hotly as she looked at me. Of what indeed had I been thinking to forget that my mother's periodical absence fell on this date ! "Forgive me, mother," I cried repentantly, "but the hours will seem long till your return." "I trust my child does not grow selfish," she murmured as she kissed me. " Give him my dear love," said I tearfully, as I threw my arms round her : a silent pressure of the lips was the only reply, and she was gone. For some time after her departure my thoughts were busy with things of the past, but presently my mind again wandered to the incidents of yesterday. When I realized this I felt thoroughly ashamed of myself, but my life had been so uneventful that again and again my thoughts would return to the same channel instead of being with my mother and her troubles, and the announcement that Captain Leslie and Miss Newton had called to inquire for me did not help to change the current of my thoughts.

My mother returned next day, but said nothing of her doings beyond the fact that my father seemed fairly well and sent his love to me ; and I did not press her to say more. During the evening as we sat silently together I scanned my mother's sad and careworn face and thought " Who would recognize in her the bright and joyous woman of five years ago ? " She too seemed to be intently watching me as I sat working, but at last she broke the silence by saying, " Who would believe to look at you that you are twenty years of age, Alice, you look so absurdly young." "Do I, dear mother ? " I replied, laughing. " I am sorry if it is a fault, what can I do to look older ?" To this she made no reply, but saying she was tired out went to her own room. For a long time afterwards I heard her pacing up and down, and once, during the night, I fancied she was standing by my bedside, though of that I was not sure.

Chapter II. Captain Leslie

5i tHAD anticipated that my mother would receive with little satisfaction the announcement that visitors had called during her absence, and I was therefore somewhat surprised when she expressed a hope that Miss Newton and I would become better acquainted. Any immediate opportu nity, however, of this being realized was frustrated by the disappearance of the frost, from which circumstance it happened that I did not meet Miss Newton for several days, but I received a note from her expressing a hope that my mother and I would support a Penny Reading that was being organized in connection writh the Schools, and adding that she would call and explain the matter more fully. I had informed my mother of the intended call, and the following day, when Miss Newton and Captain Leslie were announced, my mother received her visitors most graciously.

The conversation naturalty turned in good English fashion upon the weather and the unusual circumstance of a prolonged frost. " Yes," said Captain Leslie, " and no doubt to many persons it is trying ; but I look upon it as a special God send, for I am home from India for six months only, and, as you may suppose, great is my delight at seeing snow and ice and at getting some skating. I have not been home for ten years, and it is even longer since I saw my cousin Mrs. Newton." "You must know," said Miss Newton to me, "that Captain Leslie is mother's second cousin, so we are always uncertain whether to look on him as an uncle or cousin, and sometimes tease him by calling him ' Uncle George.' '' " In what part of India is your regiment stationed ?" asked my mother. " I am not in a regiment at all," laughed he, " but am what is called a District Superintendent of Police, or what my boy cousins disrespectfully term a ' bobby,' generally inquiring if I stand at the corners of streets with a whistle in my mouth."

" I beg your pardon," said my mother with a slight increase of reserve in her tone, " but I understood your cousin to say ' Captain Leslie.' " Quite so," replied he, " nearly half our force is taken from the army ; our Inspector General and Deputy In spectors are all three Colonels, and we have a good number of Captains and Majors among us, who are no doubt supposed to infuse military discipline into the force. Ours is a comparatively new service," he added, seeing that we both appeared interested, " only established since the Mutiny, very much upon the same lines as the Irish Con stabulary, though of course on a much larger scale ; my own district, for instance, would cover nearly the whole of Wales." " It must be an interesting life," said I. " Yes, there is much that is delightful in India, although of course we nearly all indulge in the Englishman's privilege of grumbling.

There Yve complain of the heat and mosquitoes, much as here we find fault with the fogs and rain ; yet I assure you I find myself, on reading a letter from India giving an animated account of a pig sticking expedition, filled with longing to be with them in spite of the delights of skating and the society of my charming cousins." " I am glad you remember to mention that last benefit even at the last moment," retorted his cousin laughing". " But I am forgetting the object of our visit, Miss Holms leigh. We are, as I have already told you, getting up some glees and part songs for a Penny Reading and we want you to help us, as I am sure you can sing, and perhaps Mrs. Holmsleigh too " (turning with some hesitation to my mother). I was just stammering an excuse when, to my amaze ment, my mother interrupted me by saying, " I cannot possibly help you ; but Alice, I should think you might do so if you like."

Miss Newton seemed very pleased at my shy assent, and having promised to let me know all the details, she and her companion rose to depart. I was at a loss to comprehend the meaning of this change in my mother ; it had been a new departure for her to receiYTe visitors at all, but to accept an invitation of this nature was more than I had expected of her. " Mother, what do you mean, do you know what you have done ? " cried I, as soon as our visitors had gone. "Perfectly," replied she coolly, and with some bitterness in her tone. " These people seem most anxious to make your acquaintance, whether for your own sake or that they may have the use of your voice remains to be proved ; and I don't think you will contaminate them, you don't seem to be unwilling, and," she added with a sudden gravity, " I can trust you."

This speech fell Yvith a chilling effect on the first glow of my excitement ; the tears rose to my eyes, but I said nothing. Poor mother, how she must suffer to be thus changed and embittered ! She noticed, I think, the effect of her words, for all the rest of the evening she was particularly kind and gentle, and made no further allusion to our visitors that night. For the next few days, I was in a constant state of excitement, though I said nothing, longing for the promised note of invitation. My mother, for anything she said, might have forgotten the whole incident. But she had fallen into a strange habit of watching me when ever she thought I was not observing her, and if I caught her eyes she would immediately withdraw them'. At last the note arrived, a civil little reminder of my promise, naming the glees to be sung, and mentioning that the first practice was to take place on an evening in the following week.

Before leaving the house on that evening, my mother said to me, very gravely, "Alice, I need scarcely warn you against being led into making any rash disclosures !" "Mother," I said, reproachfully, "if you have any doubts about trusting me, I would rather not go at all." "No, no, child," said she, "come, it is time you started." Any nervous shyness I might have felt upon entering the Newtons' house Yvas soon dispelled by their frank and easy courtesy. I found that the mother was just sufficiently an invalid to be petted and looked after by them all, and that Mr. Newton was a kindly, genial man, taking great interest and pride in his children, who, if not showing any unusual degree of intelligence, were a happy and sensible family. Of course, Captain Leslie was also present, and one or two others, to fill the different parts.

I soon found my voice was much the strongest and best cultivated among them, so that I was considered a great acquisition. This was to me the first of many happy gatherings that took place twice a week. From the first, I could not but feel that Captain Leslie took great pleasure in listening to my singing, and in talking to me between the parts. He evidently tried to interest me in Indian life, and would recommend books and even procure them for my mother and me to read, books of Indian folk lore, and sketches of Anglo-Indian life. One evening my mother, wishing to make some return for the hospitality I was receiving, asked the whole party to her house. The evening passed off very well, but I felt there was a stiffness altogether wanting at the Newtons', and I wondered uncomfortably whether anyone noticed what I had once overheard a servant remark, that not a single thing in our house was marked — silver, linen, books, all nameless.

At last the eventful evening of the concert arrived. I had looked for it with anything but impatience, for then, thought I, all these pleasant meetings must cease. They had all been most anxious that I should sing a solo, but this my mother positively forbade. She was of course to be present at the concert, but had declined an invitation to return to the Newtons' for supper. It was all over ; performance, supper, everything ! Again and again that night something in Captain Leslie's manner made me colour and look away ; but when I rose to leave, and had said " Good night" to my kind friends, I found he was not in the room. In the hall he met me, howe\Ter, with his hat and overcoat on. " You will let me take you home this last night," he said hurriedly, and before I could frame any objection he had opened the door, and we were alone in the night air.

Our house was the last in a \ery quiet street, and imme diately beyond it were the garden palings of a large house. We did not converse much till we came to my oYvn door, when he said, " Come a little farther, dear ; the night is lovely, and I want to speak to you ;" and a few paces further on he stopped and took both my hands. I cannot write all he said, though every word will live in my memory while I have life. They were not very elo quent words ; depend upon it what a man feels very deeply he does not express well, and your glib lover is seldom much in earnest; but he made me feel and understand that he had loved me from the very first and hoped to make me his Yvife, and that if I would not consent he would long be a sadder man. What could I say or do ? I had felt it coming, yet now it had come I knew it could never be.

What a curious mixture of pain and wild joy was in my heart, and I who would have given him everything had to refuse him with bitter tears. " Alice, don't say it," he cried, "You do love me ; I have not been such a blind fool, I have not been mistaken ; say yes, do." "Yes," I said faintly, "but I can never be Your wife ; don't ask me." He tried to reason with me, but I could only say this over and over again, and at last he led me to my own door. When I entered the drawing room my mother was standing at the window ; she had seen us pass, and noticing my tear-stained face guessed what had happened, but forbore asking me any questions, and I was only too glad to escape to my own room. My mother, however, presently followed me, and as she entered I met her and threw my arms round her. " Mother, can you guess what has happened ?

He has asked me to be his wife !" " And you have said ....?" " I ! what could I say, but that it can never be." "Your reason ?" " How could I leave you ?" I faltered. " Do you love this man, Alice ?" She was sitting down now, I half kneeling, half sitting on the floor beside her. I buried my face in her lap as she asked the question ; she raised my head gently, and looked at me with great love and sadness in her eyes. " Poor child, I feared this was coming." " And yet, mother — " I stopped ; it seemed something like a reproach. "And yet, Alice," she repeated, "well, perhaps I shall see him to-morrow and hear what he has to say." "Why, mother, what use?" " You would not surely have me so Yvanting in good breeding as to refuse to hear him," she replied ; " but come, child, you are worn out ; go to bed and try to get some beauty sleep."

She stayed till I was in bed, and then with a loving kiss and " God bless you, my darling," left me. As my mother had predicted Captain Leslie called next day. I never quite knew all that passed between them, but he told her what he had done, asked her consent, saying that with it he hoped to win mine, and of course fully explained his position. My mother on her side dwelt on the grief my loss would cause her, and explained that owing to the absence of my father her responsibility was doubled, and that she must have time for reflection, and till she could consent he must promise not to try to see me. She also told him that I should be portionless, at any rate until her death ; but his delight at not being at once utterly refused made him look upon all difficulties as already surmounted. When my mother told me all this I was speechless with astonishment till she concluded " It is of course a wretched marriage as regards money or position, or would have been so four years ago, but I suppose anyone is too good for the daughter of a con " " Mother," cried I, starting up and laying my hand on her mouth, " even you shall not speak like that before me."

"No," she cried bitterly, "though it is true; so remember what you have just said, and never, if even you marry this man, let it be uttered either to or before him. Promise me," she said, again taking my hand. "Mother," I said, "you frighten me, besides you know it can never be." " That will no doubt greatly depend on yourself ; but remember, Alice, if ever you should divulge the secret of our disgrace I should hate you for e\rer." Shocked as I was I felt too much for her grief and misery to say what I thought ; moreover, I thoroughly agreed with her in the necessity of continuing to conceal the mystery of our Lives. RETROSPECT. 17

Chapter III. Retrospect

fWENTY-two years previous to the time of which I write Agnes Marsden, a well-known beauty in her county, married Philip Huntley, the owner of Willsden Manor. He was some years her senior, tall, handsome, and fascinating ; a man on whom all the world smiled and who smiled on everyone in return ; liberal and hospitable even to excess ; a good host, a good rider, a good shot, in fact a good fellow all round — perhaps, one might say a little wanting in backbone and ballast, but then he had not his own way to make in the world, so what did that matter ? He was, in fact, a man to love, and of whom to feel proud, though not to lean upon or reverence. Both the former his young wife most certainly did, and if, as time went on, she found her pretty light hand led her RETROSPECT. husband whither she would, she loved him too well to make it apparent or even perhaps to acknowledge to herself that it was so.

Besides, like all weak men he would have fits of obstinacy, when the phrase " you know your father will do as he pleases " was uttered triumphantly by the wife and mother. Mrs. Huntley at the time of the marriage was an orphan, and had no near relations. Her husband had one brother, Henry Huntley, two years his junior, who had always been of a roving disposition. Although possessed of more than a usual younger brother's portion, having inherited a considerable sum of money from his mother, two years previous to his brother's marriage he had gone to Australia. After an absence of about ten years Henry Huntley returned to England with a large fortune and an Australian wife. Two things were soon apparent : that his life abroad had greatly imdermined his health and that he was far from happy with his wife, a handsome showy young woman of the worst possible Colonial type.

Loud in speech, dress, and manner, pushing and vulgar, with an excellent idea of looking after herself and her own interests, how could she be otherwise than repulsive to her refined well bred sister-in-law, whose dislike she in her turn as cordially reciprocated ? RETROSPECT. Under these circumstances it was not to be expected that there could be much cordiality between the families, and little regret therefore was felt on either side when the Henry Huntleys, after having spent nearly a year in England, announced their intention of returning to Melbourne. Great, however, was the Squire's grief when six months later the news arrived of his brother's death, shortly followed by the announcement that Henry had, by his will, appointed him trustee of his estate in England which represented no inconsiderable sum.

As might have been expected this arrangement greatly enraged Mrs. Henry Huntley, who so cordially disliked her husband's family that she was, to use her own expression, " wild " that any of them should be able to interfere in her affairs ; and so plainly did she express herself in her letters upon this subject, that the Squire, thoroughly disgusted, ceased after a time to hold any correspondence with her. As a matter of fact, I do not suppose that any one could possibly have been chosen less capable of managing large sums of money than Squire Huntley. A man of no decision and Yvith no insight into character, he would easily become the dupe of the first plausible adventurer who crossed his path ; and as he possessed no knoYvledge of the real value of money, figures were to him RETROSPECT. but empty signs.

Nor was he a man to conceal the respon sibilty that had been thrust upon him, or his annoyance at the attitude assumed by his sister-in-law : and there is little doubt that his imprudent disclosures were used by others for their own ends. However this may be, shortly after the foregoing events a most plausible individual visited the neighbourhood of Willsden, and in some way wound himself into the Squire's good graces, not altogether to his wife's satisfaction. But Philip Huntley was, as I have said, an obstinate man ; and, fancying the present a good opportunity for showing his independence, he was closeted in confidential talk with his new friend more and more frequently, until at last he announced to his Yvife and neighbours, with great pride, that he had discovered an investment whereby thousands of pounds could be made at a slight risk.

Gradually, however, all excitement about it faded away ; the stranger disappeared from the neighbourhood, and all seemed much as though he had never been, until one day a letter arrived from a solicitor, writing on Mrs. Henry Huntley's behalf, to enquire in what way the English estate had been invested, as disquieting rumours had reached her regarding it. The Squire's indignation was great at the tone of this letter ; what, then, was his RETROSPECT. consternation to find that his quondam friend's grand scheme was a mere bubble, which had, or soon must, burst ! When the facts became known, it appeared that the Squire had, in the first instance, invested very largely on his own account in a most risky speculation ; and then when more money was required to float the scheme, he had little by little made use of the trust funds, under the firm conviction that everything would come right in the end.

From the first moment that the ultimate success of the scheme, which he had so openly boasted Yvas to make the fortune of everyone connected with it, seemed doubtful, a strange anxiety possessed the Squire that no one should guess the immediate danger in which he stood ; and he suddenly rushed into extravagances quite foreign to his nature. Amongst other things, he insisted on his wife issuing invitations for a grand ball ; and although she suggested that it would be better to wait until their daughter was introduced in the following year, he was obstinate, and preparations were made upon a large scale. On the evening of the ball, he came into his wife's dressing-room with two morocco cases in his hand ; and opening the larger one he displayed a beautiful diamond pendant. RETROSPECT, " A loving token for my dear little wife," said he, fondly kissing her.

" How lovely ! but how extravagant of you " she exclaimed, with glistening eyes. " Dearest, I did not need this costly present to feel assured of your love." " No," said he, " but I would have all the world know it too. And here is something for our little girl, more suited to her years " — displaying a plain gold locket. The ball was a brilliant success. Never had the host and hostess appeared more radiant, and the little daughter of the house was quite intoxicated with the attention she received. The guests were beginning to depart when one of the servants, who had been with the family for many years, came up to Mrs. Huntley in a mysterious manner, and informed her that during the evening two strangers had come to the house and inquired for the Master, and on hearing that he was engaged had announced their intention of waiting, and that he had accordingly put them in a room upstairs.

" My master is with them " he added, " and I fear — I fear he is ill." "111!" she exclaimed; "Why did you not say so at once ? " and she rushed past him before he could detain her. RETROSPECT. Seated by a table, his head on his folded arms and sobbing like a child, was poor Squire Huntley. The terrible shock he had undergone, coming after all the previous excitement, had quite unmanned him. Dreadfully frightened his wife knelt beside him, imploring to know what had happened, while the two strange men turned away with looks of pity. Gradually all was told. Mrs. Henry Huntley had arrived in England ; and, enraged at hearing of all the festivities at Willsden, had so arranged that the proceedings which she had caused to be instituted should culminate in Squire Huntley's being arrested on the very night of the ball.