Man proposes. A novel, etc

Chapter I

sarah's confession. " It may be that in some great need Thy life's poor fragments are decreed To help build up a lofty deed.'" Hagar went at once into the nursery, where her faithful Norris was dressing Sybil for early dinner, and told her to lose no time, but to prepare at •once for their journey. " At once, Ma'am ! what has happened ? " "I can't tell you now, Norris; but lose no time, I entreat of you. It is a case of life and III. death. The train leaves, I see, at four o'clock. Dr. and Mrs. Wentworth are coming back almost immediately, and will go' with us to the station." "A case of life and death," thought Norris, who would otherwise have been ready, as a pri vileged domestic, to offer obstacles to such a sudden move. But she saw that it was something unusual, and that her mistress was not to be dissuaded, so she set to work with a will, and was ready ten minutes before it was time to start.

The Wentworths came, and Hagar formally handed over the care of her house and servants to Mrs. Wentworth, not forgetting disconsolate Bloss who could not understand being lest behind. " And what about your letters, Ma'am ? are they to be forwarded ? " asked the parlour-maid, to whom this sudden move was a source of unbounded curiosity and surmise, as indeed it was to all Hagar's household, fat Blossom included. " Mrs. Wentworth will see to them." " And if the master should come while you are away, please Ma'am ? ". " He will not require to be told that I am absent, as he will know of my movements." But, notwithstanding all these assurances, these " lookers on " were not satisfied at seeing so little of the game, and were brim full of speculations. They had found out from Norris that their mistress was going to the sea-side ; but so she had on other occasions, and then it had been the talk of the house for weeks in anticipation.

" Something had happened evidently that they were not meant to know ; what could it be ? " Little Sybil was the only one who reaped delight out of all this hurry and confusion. " She was going to the sea-side to pick up sea weed and shells, and watch the boats, and paddle in the sea," so she told Blossom. How sunny and joyous she was, going about from one to the other, telling them what she meant to bring them back when she returned. One was to have a cup and saucer with " a present from " — wherever 1 * they were — written on it ; shells for another ; something for everyone was promised as she skipped about, seeing nothing of her mother's tear-stained face for gladness that she was going to visit " the big, big sea, and the white waves, and the rocks, and to pick up, oh ! such pretty, pretty shells."

" We shall miss you very much, you sweet, darling Miss Sybil," said the parlour-maid, kissing the little fairy as she carried her down the steps of the house into the fly, where Hagar and the Wentworths were already seated, Norris following behind in a cab with the luggage. The Doctor took their tickets, and put them under the care of a friendly guard, who found them a comfortable carriage. Just as the train was about to start the Doctor put his head into the window to whisper : " Don 't forget your promise to come to us if any evil should happen." " Yes," joined in Mrs. Wentworth, whose face was near enough to overhear, "don't forget, I claim that as a promise ; you have always a home with us." Before Hagar had time to utter her thanks the train moved off and whirled them out of sight. Fortunately for Hagar they had the carriage to themselves throughout the journey.

All had been bustle and confusion until now, and now for the first time she was able to realise the gravity of her position. She had left home in disobedience to the dis tinct orders of her husband, the most implacable of men. She had taken their child with her, and here they now were. She knew nothing of the law which gives the mother complete control over her infant. Hagar's humility of character, and the circumstances of her life, had made her recognise nothing as hers by right. And now her sorrow even for her dying mother was neutralised by dread ; fearing what would be the consequences when she should write and tell her husband that she was at Hillington. She did not dare to write before she left, unless she had wished to make her journey for nothing. Time was what she needed. " As if I were an escaping criminal instead of only doing a righteous duty," she thought bitterly.

" If I can only see my mother just once to tell her how true my heart has been to her all these years, and how much I have suffered in not being allowed to see her, oh ! then I can write ; but I will not put my pen to paper to write to mv husband until I have seen her." She lay back in her seat thinking, with closed eyes from which tears were forcing their way. She could hear the voice of her child as she sat on Norris's knee, uttering shouts of delight over all that she saw in passing. Presently there was a lull, and she felt the child's soft arms around her neck, a little cheek was laid close to her own, while the Httle voice whispered : " Please, mamma, don't cry ; mamma, baby, and Norris doing to the big sea." In all her life to come Hagar never lost the memory of that moment. Her darling's action and words, simple as they were, crushed her with a weight of foreboding that impelled her to clasp the child closely to her heart, as the one treasure of her life now left her to live for.

" Oh ! if he should punish me for my dis obedience by taking my darling away from me," she thought with a dreadful pang of apprehension. Were such a catastrophe to happen — and every thing was possible as a likely retribution for her present disobedience — Hagar would have bowed her head, believing that her darling child, as well as everything else in her life, was not hers but her husband's. Divining, by a heaven-born instinct, her mother's need of comfort, tbe child would not leave her mother's knee again throughout the journey ; and Hagar never felt so grateful for this tenderness as now. " My precious, my darling ! " she thought ; " this hour of your dear life will never be for gotten. God has let me feel the worth of your love. May your life be one long glory of joy and happiness. It shall be, if I can make it so, my own, my very life, my child !

" The little one, all unconscious of what was passing in her mother's heart, fell asleep in the attitude she had chosen, with her cheek pressed against her mother's, her arms around her mother's neck. '•Let me take her, Ma'am," said Norris; "you will be tired holding her." " No, thank you, Norris , I like to have her while I can." " While you can ! " thought Norris ; " what does the mistress mean ? " Norris bad not lived five years and more with Hagar without having divined something of the true state of affairs. She was devoted to her mistress, whom she admired as the best-hearted and most beautiful lady in the world. She had not an equally high opinion of her master. She rather held with Mrs. Wentworth — had she known what that lady thought — that it was a shame he was not more at home. But, according to Norris's theory of morals, thinking did not mend matters ; so she set all thoughts aside, and threw herself heart and soul into doing her best for both mother and child.

She could almost guess now what was wrong with her mistress, and the meaning of this sudden journey; for Hagar had often been compelled to entrust the posting of her letters to and getting money-orders for Mrs. Sarah, to Norris. The name of Mrs. Sarah Mul locks of Hillington was a familiar one to her; but as her mistress had never spoken to her of this person, Norris was too well-bred a servant to make enquiries. She suspected shrewdly that their present hasty journey to the sea was none of the master's planning. The chances were he knew nothing about it. " There will be a fine row when he comes to hear of it," she thought; "and I am glad I am with the mistress to stand by her if trouble comes of it. For if it is as I believe, we shall see such a day as we have not had yet with the master."

It was not many hours' run from London to Hillington. They arrived at 7 o'clock that evening, and drove at once to an hotel, where Hagar established little Sybil and Norris before she went to her mother. " I shall be obliged to leave you shortly," she said to Norris ; " I have come down here to see someone who is sick." She dared not say her mother, the habitual dread of breaking her husband's injunction being too strong. " I know I can trust you to take care of Sybil; she is sleepy now, and hungry ; put her to bed as soon as you have given her some tea. It is very probable that I shall be away all night, as the friend I have come to see is dying, and I should not, in that case, leave her ; but you are not to wait up for me on any account." " Don't fatigue yourself too much, Ma'am ; you look like death yourself at this moment," said Norris, anxiously.

" I am quite strong, don't be worried about me." " But surely you will take something to eat before you go ; you have not touched food to day. Now, Miss Sibby, darling, make mamma come and have some tea with us; here are some mutton-chops, one will do you good." " Mamma take tea with Sybil," pleaded the little creature coaxingly. " Do you hear now, Ma'am, you really must." " Perhaps you are right, if am I to be of any use for what is before me; but don't delay me, there is a good girl." She soon finished her hasty meal, and then put on her bonnet to go. "Where you afoing?" asked little Sybil. " To see someone who is very sick." " Me come too ? ' " No, love, you must go to bed ; but to morrow, if you are a good child, and she is able to see you, I will take you with me. So be very good now, and say good-night without crying."

As Hagar took the child in her arms to bid her good-night she felt as if she could hardly put her down again. Her whole soul clung now to the little creature. It gave her strength to endure everything, so long as she felt that she had this precious child to watch over, and to love. She drove to her mother's house. The Bun burys were in charge, Polly having been regu larly established there as nurse since Mrs. Sarah's illness and inability to do anything for herself. Dismissing the fly, Hagar knocked at the door of her old home, which was answered by Mrs. Bunbury, who exclaimed : "Eh! Hagar! God bless me, is it you? So you 've come at last to see your poor old mother, as has been callin' an' callin' for ye these weeks past." " I could not come before, or you may be sure I would have been here long ago.

Where is my mother ? " " In the best back room. We took her down from the attic to die comfortable ; and now she lies there in the room your gentleman had. Polly is with her — I don't know what she 'd have done but for my Polly ; it 's five year and more, now, since she 've a seen you. Hush, you musn't go up without my going first to call Polly. It might kill the poor old woman outright if ye went straight in on her, and she not knowin'. She says she can't die, nor she won't rest in her grave if she do, until she 's told ye all. It 's some thing on her mind she has. My Polly have said to her, and so have Dr. Jameson, that they would hear it ; but all her answer has been is ' Nay, nay, you 're none on ye Hagar, my bonny Hagar — ah ! why won't she come ; I 've got that to tell her as she must know.

But I 've written it all down for her in my poor fashion, I did it a month or more ago ; a'nd if she don't come I '11 tell ye where to find it, and ye must just swear to me that ye '11 put it in her very own hand. My Hagar, my gell!' that's her cry all day long, and all night too. So I'm right glad you 've come. Sit ye down here now, in the parlour, while I go to Polly and bid her come down ; I '11 stay with the poor old woman." Mrs. Bunbury was going as she had said, but the time and opportunity were too good to be lost, she might never have another such chance of satisfying her curiosity about the details of Hagar's marriage. Stopping midway in her pas sage to the door she threw out this feeler. " Eh, but you went off secret that time years ago. I hear he married ye ? " she added doubt fully " Yes, I am married," responded Hagar, very humbly and sadly.

" And is he good to ye ? " asked the old gossip. "•Mrs. Mullocks swears he keeps ye at the top of life and fine living; but ye don't look over strong or lively with it all. And ye 've got a little girl, so yer mother says. Have ye brought her? the old woman has been just grievin' to see ye both." " Oh ! do go and ask if I may go up and see her," cried Hagar, trying to stop the leak of gossip which was teazing her and wasting pre cious time. "I have been just as anxious to see her as she has been longing to see me, if you will believe me. Can I not go up without trou bling you ? I know my way." "Don't I tell you that any shock might bring on her last breath ? Rest ye quiet ; I won't be a minute fetching Polly." There was nothing for Hagar but patience ; she felt this strongly, as she sat down now in the parlour looking out on the sea, and watched the running tide.

The grand slow music of the on coming waves was soothing. The day was sad; no sun lit up the brown rocks to brighten their gay garments of purple heather and yellow gorse, all was dull without, and in harmony with her grieving heart. How often she had told her thoughts to the sea in times gone by, and now- " And now — ah me ! the love I loved to cherish, the love you were the first to hear the story of as it grew in my heart of hearts — the love lies dead and cold upon my heart ; it is killing me!" Such were her thoughts when Polly burst into the room. With the old love and admiration for Hagar stronger than ever, she threw her arms round her neck and kissed her heartily. " I knew you 'd come, I told her so over and over again. There, don't cry, my deary, come up at once ; I have broken it to her, and she '11 be ready, now, to see you.

She 's so glad, for she has been very restless, as if she were trying to he awake from dying, instead of sleeping, to see you. She's got something on her mind, and she won't die comfortable until it is off,''' said Polly in a whisper as they went up-stairs. " I should like to go in alone," said Hagar as they stood outside the door. "Yes, of course; I'll beckon mother out." As soon as this was done Hagar went in. " Where is she ? why are you keeping her so long ? " she heard poor old Mrs. Sarah cry, moaningly. 0- 17 MAN PROPOSES. "Mother, I am here, your own child, come to you at last," whispered Hagar, tenderly and in tears, as she put her arms around the poor dying woman with all gentleness lest she should startle or shock her. " My bonny gell, my Hagar, my lady ! I knew it were not your fault that ye did not come before, for ye are a lady, my pretty, and mar ried ; and husbands are hard to deal with some times, when it comes to a wife looking after and lovin' her own as bred her.

That's why I never married. I 'd have none of em teaching me how to forget my own flesh and blood." " Hush ! mother darling, don't get excited. You 're very sick, dear, and need to be kept quiet. See, I have come to nurse you," pleaded Hagar, who thought her mother's mind was beginning to wander when she spoke of never having married. " Nay, I know what I 'm a saying my gell. It 's true. I never, never married ; and I 've been that wild for ye to come, for oh ! my gell, in. MAN PROPOSES. I 've been proud of ye and loved ye more nor if I 'd had fifty husbands, and ye were my very very own, which you 're not ! But, says I — and God forgive me if I've been wrong — says I, I'll never tell her until, maybe, I die; and then, perhaps, I '11 be able to ; for I would not like the Almighty, who gave me the job to do, to ask me, when I 'd gone, if I 'd told ye all the truth before I left the world — how I came by ye.

Maybe he 'd ha' sent me back to haunt and worrit ye in the world until the truth was told somehow." " What truth, darling ? " Hagar still thought her mother might be wandering. But no — for the eyes of the dying woman lit up with the fire of earnestness as she half raised herself to fix them on Hagar, while she said solemnly : " I have told ye, just now, I could not tell ye before ; I was afraid to lose the love that comes by duty. Girls love their parents when they 're good to them, for the Bible tells them to, and promises they shall live long in the land if they do. I did well for ye, Hagar, had ye taught all I could, and kept ye from common company, and ye loved me as a child does her mother, and have been the best of daughters as ever a mother had ; that is why now, before I die, I must tell ye again, ye 're none of mine, Hagar, for I never married, and you are not my child I" " Not your child !

Oh ! mother, what are you saying ? Whose then, am I ? " " The dear Lord only knows ; I . don't. I found ye, and took ye, or ye must have gone to the poor-house. Eh me ! but it 's an awfi sorrowful story how I found ye. Ye must know it all, if God will let me live a few days longer, and gives me strength to tell ye. Can't ye see, now, why it was I durst not die till I saw ye ? but I was determined ye should know, so last month I wrote it all down in my poor way. It 's there in the top drawer, with my will ; and I made Polly promise that when I died, if 2 * MAN PROPOSES. I did so afore you came, that she was to take the paper and give it into your own two hands. I 've left her a bit of money, for she 's been a good girl to me, and they've been good neigh bours, and she promised me she would do all I left her to do ; so don't forget."

Hagar was almost stupified by old Mrs. Sarah's confession. She was conscious of a dull pain of regret, as if something very dear to her were gone out of her life, leaving her more than ever alone. Mrs. Sarah not her mother ! " Ah ! was she not more than a mother ? Had she not done from pure goodness of heart and largeness of compassion what other women do from the natural ties of instinct and blood ? " thought Hagar, with a rush of warm love and gratitude which soon found expression. " Mother," she whispered to tbe dying woman, who now lay quiet, exhausted by her previous efforts : " Mother, the truest love I have ever known, excepting my own pure child's, that love you have given me. You are my more than mother, and will be so to the end ; God in Heaven knows that ! " Opening her half-closed eyes the poor old woman smiled tenderly and murmured: "Now, Lord God, I thank thee : I can die in peace."

Chapter II

hagar's surmises. Let us reach into our bosoms For the keys of other lives." Sarah fell off into a deep sleep, the first un troubled one she had had for many a day. Her desire had been accomplished. She had seen Hagar, had told her the secret of her life, and now could die. Hagar sat beside her, keeping watch as she had done years before in this very room, when Roland Austin had wrestled with death for a reprieve. It was just such another night as that one, long ago, when she had prayed and watched beside him, doubtful of the issue until morning came, and death was conquered. Her subsequent experience of life had taught her many things, and changed many of her ideas. Then, death was of all things the most terrible, the enemy most to be feared. Now, she could look it steadfastly in the face as the best of friends, the lot to be envied.

It held no grim horrors for her, no vague uncertainties. It was only the ever-opening door of communication from this to the fuller life of another world, of which this was but the feeble reflection in form, the faint echo in voice, of that which was to be revealed to our spiritual perceptions. A world far more tangible to Hagar than this world of unrealities, where, as she had often experienced " man walketh in a vain shadow and disquieteth himself in vain." These were no mere idle speculations on her part, but the very heart and pulse of her belief and faith, gathered from revelation and proved by analogy. Death to Hagar meant the beginning of life, where every soul should find its home. All that the heart valued, that the intellect prized, that the soul aspired to and loved best, awaited those who had hungered and thirsted for that perfection which they had failed to accomplish here, to refresh them to the full.

Thus we now create by free choice our own blessing and happiness, or if evil, our own curse and torment. And beauty of form will then be regulated by the beauty of the soul in a world where dissimulation is impossible, where there is no room for con cealments of any kind, and where all is revealed to the searching eye of truth. " As the day of our birth so is the day of our death," says Bacon. An act of nature to which we succumb as easily and as unconsciously in one case as the other. Marcus Antoninus also tells us, " Death is an operation of nature, and if anyone is afraid of an operation of nature he is a child." " No, death is not to be feared in any case, not even the physical part of it," thought Hagar, as she now sat by the dying bed of her mother, meditating on death and many other things, while the waves gurgled sleepily, as if their force were all spent, and they, too, longed for rest.

She thought also of her child, of her husband. With her whole soul she prayed that God would awaken in her again the love she had once felt for him. Now that she had dared to take the fatal step of disobeying his injunctions, and had actually fulfilled the long wished for desire of her heart to see her mother once more, her resentment grew less, and she found comfort in dwelling on their reconciliation. Roland Austin, as a man, was her lord and lover still, and ever would be. Her heart could never suffer any other image to enter there. It was the hard implacable nature that ruled him which had laid rude hands on her warm living love, and had crushed out of it all consciousness of life. But let him only be softened, gentle, hating his own hardness, and ready to stamp out his own pride, the god he was so proud of, and smiled exultingly to possess; let him only whis per that he had sinned against her by his hard ness, and was grieved for having done so, and her love would revive.

" But, oh ! that could never be ! It would need a miracle for such a resurrection. It was not in his nature to forgive. But let him do his worst, I am ready now for everything." " To-morrow I will write and tell him all I have done. Indeed, if I could find pen and paper I would do it now, while she is sleeping." Polly came in at that moment with some nourish ment for Mrs. Sarah. "You must take a good rest to-night, Polly," said Hagar. "You don't mean to sit up alone, do you?" "Yes, I am quite equal to it. Only explain to me, what I am to give, and when; I shall be able to manage perfectly. Perhaps, also, you could find me some writing materials ; I want to write a letter to my husband." *' Shall you want me to post it for you ? " asked the ever ready Polly. "No, to-morrow will do as well for that."

Polly having supplied her with all she required, they parted for the night. Mrs. Sarah was still sleeping heavily, and Hagar sat down to write. She found it difficult to begin ; but now, having made a start, she continued : " I am writing in the room you occupied when you were first brought to this house. By the memory of that time I entreat you to have pity upon me, and do not punish my disobedience with over-severity. I could not resist a dying appeal, coming, too, as it did from my mother. Could I have done so, I must have been inhuman, and unworthy of all respect; even should I have been able to keep your love and good-will at such a price. You reminded me that my place was with our child ; so I would not leave her, but have brought her with me. She is now at the hotel with Norris — so near that I can see her con tinually.

I am sitting up to-night with my mother, but the first thing to-morrow morning I shall hurry to the hotel before I close my letter, that I may be able to send you the last accounts of our darling, who was well and happy when I left her. " So much of the trouble of our married life has arisen from your great objection that I should acknowledge my mother as mine, even privately, that I feel bound to tell you of a statement she has made, which has startled me very much. Unfortunately it does not improve my birth or family connections, which, for your sake, I could wish it did, since you set so high a value on these accidents of blood and family ; for my own part I am indifferent to them ; for God is just, and has not confined all that makes a human being noble, in the only sense, to any particular class.

Hence I have never felt excluded from the aristocracy of right - thinking, noble - hearted men and women who are my kith and kin by a stronger tie than blood. Still I can never forget that, at an enormous sacrifice to your prejudices, you married me; and. for this reason I am sorry that I cannot announce myself as a well-born lady, or something more suitable to yourself in position. I have only gathered this much from my mother's (for so I shall ever call her) statement or confession, that I am not her daughter, but a poor foundling, discovered I know not where (that I have yet to learn) nameless and forlorn, when this good woman, like the Samaritan of old, took me in and nourished me. All particulars I shall know in time. It is a long and painful story, I believe, and she is too ill for much speaking.