A sketch of old England, by a New England man

Front matter

SKETCH OF OLD ENGLAND. A SKETCH or mi&w <____it wliiitid* _T A NEW-ENGLAND MAN. " Republicanism, aa it exists beyoDd the Atlantic, in all the glories ol bundling, gouging, negro-driving, and dram-drinking; such poems as tbe Columbiad; such speeches as Mr. Adams makes at convivial meetings; and young ladies, who, when asked to dance, reply, " 1 guess I have no occasion." * Quarterly Review. " Often while waiting at table, and listening to their disgusting opinions, I have been called forward by one of the guests, and struck in the face severely, for some trivial mistake I had committed in serving him with food. In Soulh Carolina, the suestB do not hesitate to chastise their en tertainers* servants whenever they feel disposed ; and a party of white people there, often make cursing and beating their slaves in attendance, their thief employment during dinner."

Blackwood's Maoazine. " Any American will gratify a stranger by giving an account of him selfand if tbe truth is unfavourable to him, he will invent falsehoods, rather than not play the egotist." " The Americans are more detestable than iny other people under the influence of ardent spirits. Liquor only serves to draw forth their natural coarseness, insolence, and rankness of feelings" Howisom _ Travels. " Theie scoirgers and murderers of slaves." \ Edinburgh Review. IN TWO VOLUMES. vol. I. NEW-YORK : CHARLES WILEY, 3 WALL-STREET. 1822. J. Seymour, printer. Southern "District of New- York, st. BE IT REMEMBERED, That od tbe sixteenth day oT July, in the forty-sixth year of the Independence of the United States of Ame rica, that Charles Wiley of the said District, hath deposited in this office the title of a book, tbe right whereof be claims as proprietor, in the words following, to wit.

" A Sketch of Old England, by a New-England Maa. " Republicanism, as it exists beyond the Atlantic, in all the glories of bundling, gouging, negro-driving, and dram-drinking; such poems as the Columbiad ; such speeches as Mr. Adams makes at convivial meetings; and young ladies, who, whe>n asked to dance, reply, " I guess I have no occasion." Quarterly Review. " Often while waiting at table, and listening to their disgusting opinions, I have been called forward by one of the guests and struck io the {ace severely, for some trivial mistakp I had committed io serving him with food. In Sout . Carolina, the guests do not hesitate to chastise tlieir en tertainers'servants whenever they feel disposed; and a party of white people there, often make cursing and beating their slaves in attendance, their chief employment during dinner " Blackwood's Magazine. ** Any A mei ican will gratify a stranger by giving an account of him self; and if the truth is unfavourable to him, he will invent falsehoods, rather than not play the egotist."

Letter I

London. Dear Brother, Your complaints of the long intervals between my letters, and their silence on certain points concerning which you have re quested information, are not altogether unreason able ; neither, in truth, are they altogether reasonable ; for after travelling all day, and employing every interval of leisure to visit old castles and stately churches, the one ruined by time and violence, the other preserved by a sentiment of piety ot pride, one has little inclination of an evening to describe them. I contented myself with merely noting in my memorandum book such observations and reflections as seemed worth remembering, with a view to communicate them to you at my leisure. Being now settled here during the pleasure of the * ******* *5 an_ my present situation allowing both leisure and opportunity, I mean to become the very mirror of letter-writers.

But Vol. I. B please to take notice, I eschew old castles, grand cathedrals, and collections of pictures, the price of which would beggar a nation ; neither will I take pains to dilate upon the Tower, the Monu ment, Westminster Bridge, or Westminster Abbey. All these, 1 presume, are rather familiar to you, having been described upwards of six thousand times : if you are not acquainted wilh them before this, I shall leave you to the blessings _f ignorance. At your request I will, from time to time, at tempt to sketch for your amusement the present situation and suture prospects of this renow.,ed country, such as they have appeared to me from a careful study, and pretty extensive opportunities for observation. What I have seen, and the con clusions drawn frrm experience, I will communi cate as well as I can; what I know nothing of, I will say nothing about, believing it to be more honest to appear ignorant, than resort to hearsay or misrepresentation. 1 shall not " set down aught in malice," but most assuredly I shall " nothing extenuate ;" for, certainly, my dear country, and worthy countrymen, have no debts of civility or forbearance to pay to England or to Englishmen.

The national pride of this people 'appears r if her sounded on a harsh and arrogant contempt for others, than a consciousness produc ed by internal conviction; and their standard of moral and intellectual excellence seems fixed by the simple expedient of placing every other nation as low as possible in the scale of humanity. They are still exactly what one of their own writers de scribed them more than a hundred years ago : "Nn panegyric needs his praise record, An Englishman ne'er wants his own good word And to illustrate first his own good name, He never fails his neighbour to defame." the place os other men's love and respect. They also are sure to invite a severe, and not altogether impartial scrutiny; and if their claims be not en entirely unquestionable, they will sooner or later be dragged from their self-asserted superiority, and placed even below the level of their just pre tensions.

Americans who have hitherto visited this England, and attempted a picture, have gene rally indulged their early habits of acquiescing in the superiority of every thing here, animate and inanimate, moral, political, and intellectual. In stead of viewing things as they really were, they too often substituted their early fancies for sober realities, and gave to their countrymen a poetical, rather than a true delineation of England. Those, especially, who wrote with a view to publishing their observations, seem to have stood more in awe of the British critics than the Lord of Truth ; and, 1 apprehend, not unfrequently sa crificed their honest impressions to purchase, if not praise, at least toleration, on this side of the water. Hence, they have contributed to the con tinuance of a delusion which they ought to have chased from the minds of their countrymen ; a de lusion which equally tends to nourish a degrading feeling of inferiority on our part, and an offensive arrogance on the part of this people.

The English are great jokers, but they are the worst people in the world to bear a joke. They pretend to despise us and our opinions, but they cannot endure we should despise them in turn. You can scarcely have an idea how they winced under Mr. Walsh's excellent "Appeal," which, in truth, has had a much better effect here than all the miserable adulation lavished upon England and her institutions by all our states men, orators, historians, poets, and patriots. It has done more than all our acquiescence, B or poor attempts at conciliating the savour of fashionable Reviewers. It cut the deeper too, as coming from a man who was acknowledged abroad and at home, as one of the ablest writers. I assure you it was meat and drink, washing and lodging to me, to witness John Bull's astonishment at seeing his mighty reviewers taken by the heard.

He rubbed his eyes like one just awakened from a delightful dream, and ran about asking every body if he was quite so bad as some people thought him. The work was also excessively relish ed abroad, particularly in Fiance, where it was ex tensively circulated ; for the truth is, Mr. Bull is no great favourite, notwithstanding his disinterest ed exertions for the liberties of Europe. He is apt to confer his savours with such a confounded ill grace, that people who are obliged to accept them, arc more sensible of his arrogance, than of his benefits. The nations of Europe, for this rea son, always laugh in their sleeves whenever the Americans get the better of him in any manner whatever. Be this as it may, my dear brother, it seems to me that our admiration of English government, English institutions, English genius, and English every thing else, will eventually harness us in the trammels of a servile imitation, that will not only setter the genius of America, but lead to the com mission of political errors, fatal in the end to our freedom and happiness.

Perhaps one ofthe most effectual means of shaking this intellectual domi nation, would be to satisfy our good people that all Englishmen are neitherShakspeares and Miltons in poetry, nor Lockes and Bacons in philosophy, nor Newtons in science ; that the general stand ard of intellect, acquirements, and virtue, is not higher here than in other, civilized nations : and that the present race, whatever their forefathers may have been, have passed awav, if it ever were possessed, the sceptre of moral and intellectual supremacy over our native country. A few illus trious examples of genius and virtue do not ennoble the whole rabble of a nation ; and although they constitute just objects of national pride, they do not certainly offer fair samples either of the state of mind or morals in any age or country.

But John Bull is perpetually boasting, and our countrymen perpetually believe, that he himself is nothing less than a Shakspeare in genius, a Locke in Philoso phy, a Newton in science, and a saint in morality, although, so far as my experience, goes, he is occasionally a great rogue, sometimes a great block head, and always a great boaster. He seems, in truth, to have forgotten that those who play at bowls, even with inferior players, may some times meet with rubbers ; and like most people given to boasting and taking liberties with their neighbours, is exceedingly disquieted when they take liberties in turn. He puts me in mind ofour old schoolmaster, who allowed his boys to joke with him so long as he kept the laugh on his side, but always fell into a great passion, and hoisted them as soon as the joke went against him.

I permit you to allow your worthy neighbour, and my old friend, the member from *******; t0 read my letters, if he will take the trouble. Knowing me from my youth upwards, when I have so often been dandled on his old linsey woolscy knee, and that I am incapable of misrepresenting a whole people, I am not without hope, that he will yet open his eyes to the vast difference be tween England as it was, and England as it is. He himself is not more altered within the last sixty years than this country. The pictures given in history no longer represent her as she is ; and he who should attempt to delineate her present fea tures from his impressions of the past, would deceive us quite as much as he who should point to the curly pate and ruddy cheeks of the youthful picture over your mantle-piece, and call it a like ness of our good old neighbour.

He knows per fectly well, that however I may abhor the policy and maxims of the government, the people them selves have ever been objects of my respect and regard. If there ever were a nation that might justly point to the wastefulness and corruptions of its rulers, in excuse for its own, it is this of Eng land. When, therefore, as the truth will compel me to do, I am fair to admit, that a very large pro portion of ignorance, vice, and poverty prevails among them, and that in their actually existing state, they are not exactly fitted for the task of self-government, Itrustthat neither you nor he will accuse me of prejudice or hostility. lt requires ages of bad government to render a people inca pable and unworthy the enjoyment of rational li berty ; and we cannot expect them to be regene rated, like a methodist convert, in one night.

It is no just argument against the struggles of a peo ple for freedom, that they are not just at the moment fitted for its enjoyment. All salutary changes are the gradual production of time and ex perience ; and a people struggling for their rights, will, in that very struggle, acquire the ideas and habits necessary to their enjoyment. A long system of oppression will render any people ignorant, desperate, and brutal, in some degree ; but to say that because they are so, they must continue to submit to the system which brought about their degradation, is to argue in favour ofthe eternal duration of every bad government, and the everlasting ignorance and barbarity which are its natural results. I am now comfortably and quietly settled in lodgings, with an elderly lady, who has good blood house than any place where I have sojourned since I hff. my own home.

I have been the moie par ticular in my sketch, because she belongs to a class of females which once gave a character to England, and to English domes ic life, of which the country yet feels the benefit, in the enjoyment of a reputation for integrity, founded on the past, rather than the present. It was this homely ho nesty, this inflexible regard to principle, which made amends for the absence of those easy and sprightly manners, which attach a stranger, who is generally more in want of courtesies than bene fits, and consequently forms his estimate of a peo ple, from their general deportment, rather than from any particular act of kindness. This class is, however, 1 regret to say, daily mouldering a«ay amidst the speculating extravagance, and splendid pauperism of the times. They cannot keep pace with the more numerous class of nobi lity and gentry, because their pride will not stoop to an alliance with vulgar wealth, nor their principles bend to earn the rewards of the govern ment by the sacrifice of their integrity.

Our house is situated in oneof the old streets, running into ********, which, though rather narrow, was considered quite genteel until lately, that a corrector of enormities in beards made a lodgment directly over the way, and poked his pole at an angle of some forty degrees, almost in to the old la -ly's window. This awful invasion put to flight two persons of quality who lodged in the house. " 'Tis an ill wind that blows nobody good," and I was wafted by this breeze into lodgings tbat suit me exactly. Adieu.

Letter II

London. Dear Brother, The capital of a nation may be considered iu the light of the head and face of th** human frame, which are supposed, by craniologists and physi ognomists, to indicate the character of the individual. Having now been settled here some twelve months, and played the busy, inquisitive traveller all the time, 1 -hall commence my promised picture of John Bull, by beginning with his head. Before 1 proceed, however, 1 must beg permis sion of your patience to make a few preliminary observations. Strangers in every country always see the worst of it. Wherever we go, it will be found that the characters and the virtues of a people are best seen and most clearly developed at the domestic tire side, where, in this country, strangers are rarely admitted. If they should be, however, they seldom become sufficiently intimate to form a just estimate of character, because the faults and the foibles of mankind are always more apt to strike our attention, than their virtues.

Nothing therefore can be more unjust, than for a stranger to condemn a country on his first arrival, because he is cheated by a hackney coachman, or imposed upon by his landlord. Such has, however, been the criterion by which British travellers have judgin her veins, that is to say, if blood be an hereditary commodity, which some people doubt, but which I do not, for there are diseases bodily and mental in most of the old families here that have descend ed through half a score of generations. She claims descent from Tudors and Plantagenets to boot, and combines the conflicting claims of both York and Lancaster. Though too well bred to boast, she sometimes used to mention these matters, until one day, I advised her in jest, to pro cure a champion to tilt against young parson Dy moke for the broom at the ensuing coronation, since her claim was far superior to the Hanoverian upstarts.

The good old soul took the joke ill, and 1 was sorry for it. What right had 1 to ridi cule that which to her was an innocent source of happiness ? I despise the cant of sentiment, but I promise never to do so again. She has a number of noble relatives among the respectable, old-fashioned nobility, who still possess some of that sturdy, antique morality and ho nesty, now so scarce among this class throughout all Christendom. Their occasional visits in the dusk ofthe evening, and the contemplation of her own august descent, seem to constitute her little fund of worldly enjoyment. It is so blameless, that I humour her by often inquiring the names of her visiters; which gives occasion to a variety of family details and claims of kindred, distant enough to be sure, but still sufficient to support the little edifice of vanity, erected in her heart upon the tombs of her ancestors.

The old ma tron is excessively methodical, and particularly neat in her dress — hates Napoleon Bonaparte with a zeal past all human understanding, and has brought to war against him most exclusively seve ral passages of the Old and New Testaments. To do her justice, however, she has no great respect for her present liege-lord ; but whether on the score of his morals, or her own superior claim to the crown, I cannot decide. The queen she ad heres to, I believe merely from the spirit of the sex. Comfort, neatness, and economy distinguish her household, from the cellar to the garret. No thing is wasted, nothing is wanting. Such, in deed, is her economy, that I verily believe she never throws away a pin for want of a head, or a needle for being without an eye. This economy is neither the offspring of meanness nor avarice, but the rational result of a determination to preserve her independence.

Her means are just sufficient, with this rigid economy, to enable her to appear with that sober sort of gentility, which it is her pride and delight ever to exhibit. Were she to relax in any one respect, the nice system would lose its balance and fall to the ground. To sum up all, she is so perfectly upright in all her dealings, that, 1 am satisfied, no prospect of impu nity, no certainty of escaping discovery or suspicion, would tempt her to defraud the living or the dead, or receive more than her due. It is amusing to see her uneasiness at incurring the slightest obligation, or being subjected to the smallest debt. I happened to pay the postage of a letter for her one day in her absence, and she was quite unhappy because I could not make change, and release her from the obligation. She and 1 are great friends after the cold English fashion.

If I be sick, every attention is scrupulously paid, but paid as if from a sense of propriety, not from the heart. Our occasional conversations are friendly, but formal ; rather genealogical I confess, but let that pass — the old lady conies from Wales. Still f cannot help respecting her most sincerely, and I feel more at home in her ed of our country, and such indeed seems to be .he habit of most of those worthy persons who go about the world libelling the characters of whole nations under the mask of a book of travels. Of this pitiful propensity I shall endeavour to devest myself as much as possible. Without omitting to record those httle incidents which throw light on character and manners, I shall leave you occasionally to draw your own conclusions, bear ing in mind that the two-legged wild beasts of great cities, as they have greater temptations and greater opportunities for the commission of crimes, are apt to be more vicious, when they incline to vice, than when placed in a different situation.

Whether the same may be said of their virtuous propensities, I am somewhat inclined to doubt, although by no means prepared to give into the philosophical denunciations against large socie ties. I invaded London under cover of a great fog, somewhat similar to that recorded on New- Year's eve in 1730, when, it is stated, that many persons fell into Fleet-ditch, and several prominent noses sustained serious damage by coming in contact with each other. Among the few objects 1 could see, was a person with a lantern, who, 1 suppose, like Æsop, was looking about for an honest man. You may think, my dear brother, how scarce ho nest men must be in London. Alighting from the stage, there was a great contest for the privilege of carrying my trunks, like that ofthe Greeks and Trojans for the body of Patroclus.

In conclusion, the Greek carried the day, as 1 found, for a good natured person apprised me, that if 1 permitted their attendance, 1 should probably never see my trunks again. I was not aware of the necessity of this caution, as you know in our own dear honest country, no man hesitates a moment to trust his Vol. I. C baggage with the first porter that offers, be he black or white. This is not one of those solitary instances from which no general conclusions can be drawn. It furnishes decisive proof, that at least one class of people of this country is not as honest as the same class in ours. To escape the hacks I called a hack, and by that means fell ' out of the frying-pan into the fire ;' that is, if rushing upon a positive evil to .scape a probable one, will justify the old proverb. He charged me three times the amount of his fare, andgave me a few bad shillings in change.

These bad shillings are, in truth, as common as counter feit notes are in our .ountry, and strangers should be equally aware of them. Well, he drove me to ihe ****** coffee-house, the name of whicli, being derived from my own country, attracted the •yearnings of my inclination. Here the master of the house very soon satisfied me 1 had been cheat ed. But as hackney-coachmen are for the most part rogues in grain, all over the world, new and old, I determined, in my own mind, to let John Bull off that time, and not denounce him on the score of this universal characteristic of a particular species of men. The master of the house advised me to buy a Picture of London, which I did, and very much consolation did it afford me. Among the first choice passages I fell upon, were the following: ■" Any man who saunters abeut London, with pockets on the outside of his coat, or who mixes in crowds without especial care of his pockets, de serves no pity on account of the losses he may sus tain."

Again : " Persons should be very particu lar as soon as they have called a hackney-coach, to observe the number, before they get into it. This precaution guards against imposition, or un foreseen accidents. There is no o.ther method of punishing coachmen who misbehave, nor chance of recovering property carelessly left in the coach, but by the recollection of the number." Now, brother, I could not come within a thousand of the number of my coach, for I had no idea of being cheated by a hackney-coachman in this honest country. For the benefit of any of your honest neigh bours, who may chance to visit this city, and be cheated before they can get a " Picture of Lon don," I will extract one or two more passages from that valuable work : " One of the most dangerous classes of swind lers are those pretended porters or clerks, who attend about the doors of inns, at the time the coaches are unloading; or who watch the arrival of post-chaises at the doors of the coffee-houses.

These fellows, by various artifices, frequently ob tain possession of the luggage of a traveller, who has occasion to lament the want of suspicion, in the loss of his clothes and other effects." " Mock auctions, in whicli plated goods are sold for silver, and a variety of incredible frauds practised upon the unwary, ought to be cautiously avoided. They may be in general known by a person being placed at the door to invite in the passing stranger." " Strangers having business at Doctor.' Com mons, should previously know the address of a proctor, as all the avenues are beset by inferior clerks or porters, who watch and accost strangers, whom they take into some office, where they are paid in proportion to the nature of the business, which is conducted not in the most respectable way, and never without extra charges, unwarrant ed by the profession."

" In asking questions, or inquiring the way, it is necessary always to apply at a shop, or a publichouse, and never to rely upon the information which may be given by persons in the streets. Such, brother, are a few of the dangers which beset the traveller, in his adventurous pilgrimage through this wilderness of two-legged beasts of prey. One cannot help, if ever so little inclined, drawing conclusions favourable to the state of mo rals at home in our cities, when the fact is known, that none of these refined modes of swindling have as yet become naturalized in our new world. I imagine the cold, distant, suspicious demeanor, which Englishmen maintain towards each other in general originates, not more in a frigid stupidi ty, than in an experience ofthe danger which re sults from that confidence, which may be placed in our fellow-creatures elsewhere, without so much hazard.

When two tolerably intimate friends, of half a dozen years' standing, see each other coming from opposite directions, the first thing they do is to look all about to see if they cannot avoid meeting, without the appearance of a " dead eut," by turning a corner, crossing the street, or admiring the caricatures in a print-shop. If all these expedients be beyond their reach, they crawl up to each other like two land tor toises, and perhaps offer a dead hand to shake. Then they commence about the weather, &c, "Fine day!" "Very— (um.)" " Any news to-day ?" 11 Can't tell." a most capital colloquy •' Wife well ?" " Tolerable— thank ye." " Fine day — how's Betsey ?" " Middling." " How is John?" OU SO. " Aunt and uncle pretty well . " " Indifferent, thank ye. How is your wi.e ?" " Complaining a little, thank ye."

" Old gentleman well?" " I can't say he is." " Very fine weather !" "Delightful." By this time they have reached the end of their .ope of ideas, and stand yawning in the faces of each other, till with a sudden effort of vivacity, they shake hands again, exclaiming, " Well, I'm very glad to see you — good-bye.'' It would do your heart good to see the cordiality with which they quit each other, and shoot off, as isa bailiff were at their heels. Such, indeed, is the coldness ofthe social feelings in Londoners, and the want of common chit-chat among them, that they never seem glad to see each other, except just when about bidding farewell. It is quite amusing to see the trepidation of a genuine cockney, on receiving a common-place civility, from a stranger in a stage-coach or steam-boat. He directly imagines you arc going to pick his pocket.

Strangers in town should be shy of accepting offers of courtesy, for such is tlie coldness of English manners, that any ordinary civility, from one you do not know, is generally the prelude to imposition of some kind or other. One of the clearest indica tions ofthe state of society here, is, that every body locks the street-doors during the day-time. My experience at Liverpool and elsewhere having taught me somewhat, I began to smell a rat, almost the first moment I entered the coffee house. The waiters were excessively officious, and so anxious to put themselves in my way, when there was no occasion, that 1 was quite out of patience. The master of the house too, a most important little busy body, made me bow upon C bow, ali which being contrary to the very nature of an Englishman, 1 took it for granted that he meant to cheat me.

Accordingly the first day at dinner, he gave me a bottle of half-guinea wine, of the most pestiferous quality, which he pro nounced such as Lord Somebody always called for at his house. The next day he gave me still worse, finding 1 put up with the first, and charged me still higher, on the score of its being a favourite wine of some noble Earl. The third day it was still worse and still dearer, because his Grace 0f ****** always drank it in preference to any other. Thinking it best to get out of the way, before mine host came to the king's favourite wine, which, according to the preceding steps of the climax, must have been execrable, I got a friend to recommend me to another lodging, who accordingly negotiated the terms, and stood security for my character with the excellent lady, with whom I still remain.