Having and Holding; a story, etc

Front matter

A Story of Country Life. IN THREE VOLUMES. BY J. E. PANTON, AUTHOR OF "FROM KITCHEN TO GARRET," "THE CURATE'S WIFE," etc., etc. VOLUME I. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. LONDON : TRISCHLER AND COMPANY, l8, NEW BRIDGE STREET, E.C. 189O. TO B. S., IN MEMORY OF MANY TRAMPS AMONG THE FULBROOK HILLS. CONTENTS. VOLUME I. CHAP. PAGE I. Bevercombe Vicarage ... 9 II. Two Iune Days .... 37 III. A Serious Talk .... 66 IV. Love at First Sight ... 00 V. " Should Auld Acsuaintance be Forgot?" ..... 129 VI. "The Past was Fair; the Future Fairer Still" .... 159 VII. A Call from the Ssuire . . . 189 VIII. Pink and Blue Fever . , . A STORY OF COUNTRY LIFE.

Chapter I. Bevercombe

vicarage. JACINTH MERRIDEW satin the big bow-window of the Vicarage study, looking the very incarnation of misery. True, the outlook was not inspiriting, but though the rain was falling in the hopeless manner particularly characteristic of the Southern county in which Bevercombe is situated, and though the view, circumscribed always, was doubly so on this special day, still, wet days in such a room as the Bevercombe study should be bearable, and though tedious, were surely not sufficient to A account for the expression of utter discontent and despair that disfigured Miss Merridew's otherwise pretty face. "You needn't go unless you like," said Mrs. Merridew, the vicar's wife, who was seated by the fire, that even on the June day on which our story opens, was quite as necessary as in the middle of December.

" I cannot understand you, Jacinth, I must confess ; most girls would be delighted to have your chances of seeing what our would be-member is like ; and I only wish my conscience were sufficiently elastic to allow of my'going too. Come, cheer up, and think what you will wear on the 1 7th. I never knew the time when the idea of a new gown could not chase the shadows from that brow of yours. What a mercy we have all those patterns ! we can really come to some definite conclusion now before Rhody- Jemimy comes for the post-bag." And so saying, she burrowed among the over-flowing debris of a work-table drawer that stood beside her, and disinterred a quantity of those small snippings of unfashionable materials, sent out by enterprising shop-keepers in the hope of disposing of some of their more outre fabrics among those whose distance from town would seem to ensure ignorance on the subject of what is and what is not worn.

" I wish I were Rhody-Jemimy," said Jacinth, irrelevantly, as she rose languidly from her seat by the window, and, coming forward, took up some of the patterns and turned them over quite as contemptuously as they deserved. "Sometimes I wish that too," replied Mrs. Merridew, taking up her work, which she had allowed to fall neglected on the ground ; " but I can't for the life of me see why you should. I can't give notice to Bob and look out for a new place like our post-girl has done, because even if Bob were out of the A question there are three good reasons still left against my doing so. But you can, Jacinth, and I often and often wonder why you don't." " Because I've a conscience, I grieve to say," replied her sister-in-law, carelessly ; " and because I remember all you and Bob have given up, and do give up, daily for me.

I only wish I had been born without that encumbrance. I am sure I should have been much happier. Why, I can't even lie in bed late, or neglect the village, because, if I do, I don't enjoy myself one bit. My conscience, or whatever you call it, is always prodding at me ; it's prodding me now, Barbara, horribly, and that's why I am so miserable." " Don't give way to it," answered Mrs. Merridew, laughing at Jacinth's earnestness. " Why should you ? We can only afford one new dress between us for this auspicious occasion, and naturally that dress must be yours. You have no excuse to offer for not going. I have dozens ; and you know quite well that even if I accepted, and had the garment made to fit me, one of the boys would be sure to crack his head ; or the whole lot would catch cold, or mumps, or something ; and I should have to stay and nurse them,. and there would be the dress wasted.

I dc/> wish we could wear each other's things ; but as we can't, you must go, and I'll stay at home. It's tempting Providence for any mother of a family to accept an invitation sent out three weeks before the day." "It is no good writing to Issy, I suppose?" asked Jacinth, tentatively. "Of course it would be good in one sense," replied Mrs. Merridew, brightly. "It would result in a box of cast-off raiment and a letter as long as a House of Common's petition, and about as useful and entertaining ; but when you remember the last box and the last letter, I wonder you can think of turning Issy and Issy's eloquence on us again." " It is a curious arrangement of Providence that taste and money so seldom go together," remarked Jacinth, wearily. " How I would enjoy myself, and how all at Bevercombe would enjoy themselves, if I had only half Issy's income ; and what sweet frocks you and I should have !

Now Issy never buys a single thing that is not hideous ito begin with ; and somehow or other all the things she sends us have such spots and iblemishes on that they are good for nothing. I wonder if she would mind wearing a pinafore. I think I shall suggest it to her, then we might somehow use the dreadful garments she sends us. If they were only ,clean we might sell them ; as it is, they won't even dye decently. Don't you hate and abhor being poor, Barbara ? Don't say you don't, for I am sure I shall not believe you if you do." " Poor is such a relative term," replied Mrs. Merridew, laughing. " I can't even allow I am poor. You see there's Bob, to say nothing of the children. I do heartily wish you could have as many new frocks as you want, but as long as you are all well and have enough to eat, and Bob's spaniels take prizes, and he is not bored, I really don't feel very poor.

Then I am not like you, Jacinth, dear. I have always been used to work, and this sweet village is such a change after Gower Street and then Bob's East-end Curacy, that I never seem able to be thankful enough for all. But," she added, hastily, as she noted a frown on her sister s face, " don't please think, dear, I don't know how bad it all is for you ; you were brought up so differently, and expected so much more." " Barbara, I can never forgive him, never," interrupted Jacinth, rising to her feet and walking rapidly up and down the room. " I know he was my father," she added, as she saw Mrs. Merridew flush and look quickly at her. " You can't say one word to me conscience — my inconvenient conscience — has not already said over and over again ; but I do maintain that parents have a duty to their children, as well as children to their parents, and that he had no more right to disgrace us than we had to disgrace him.

Why, I remember his almost cursing poor Bob because he owed at college which he could not pay ; and yet, forsooth, he shot himself and left us nothing but his unpaid gambling debts and the curses of the widows and orphans he had ruined by his reckless speculations. You never heard half ; never knew how Bob was thrust into the Church because there was this living in our family ; how Issy, who had been half engaged to Sir Godfrey Pffenell, married old Sanderson's money-bags to escape governessing ; and how I, who was going to do great things, had to take anything that offered. It happened to be something I could do, luckily, until the happy day w-hen this living fell in, and you, dear, sweet you, brought me home here and settled me on you, a costly, lazy incumbrance for life. Now, if I were only earning my bread, I might be able to bear my life, as it is "As it is," interrupted Mrs. Merridew quietly, drawing Jacinth down by the fire, close to her, "as it is, you are earning your bread, as you call it, over and over again.

Half the craving after independence you nineteenth century girls possess, is impatience of control and longing for excitement, and is most unhealthy too. In Bob's absence, I shall turn preacher and quote Kingsley — ' Do the work that's nearest, though it is dull at whiles.' You know the rest." "There are no lame dogs to help over stiles here," said Jacinth, smiling despite herself. " Here's a very lame dog," replied Mrs. Merridew, holding up a small pair of garments that showed a more intimate acquaintance with jagged tree branches than could be desired by anyone except a tailor. " Now, Jacinth, who but you can patch these in a manner to satisfy the school-room autocrat ? What I shall do when Brian goes away from home and requires what he calls real clothes, I don't know. However, ' Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof.' Were you not here I must have a governess somehow, or, at least, a regularly good nurse.

Now we can manage ; and if Bob's dogs and his writing ' turn up trumps ' — to quote Bob — we shall soon do well. Of course we are straightened just at present." " Because Bob and you are too honest to live in luxury as long as papa's wretched creditors are starving," replied Jacinth, bitterly. " And yet we have all the parsons and parsonesses round sneering at us mightily because Bob tries to turn an honest penny out of his knowledge, and sporting tastes, and because you do not live up to every farthing of your income, and because we save for others. What an untoward world it is, to be sure ! Now if Issy would only do her share ! " " But it wouldn't be her share ; it would be her husband's, and we should not like that," said Mrs. Merridew quietly. "Mr. Sanderson's ideas of honour being strictly commercial, are hardly ours, you know.

The elastic conscience of a business man sees no necessity for what he terms quixotic humbug. But we need not trouble about that or anything else. All we have to do is to try and do right, and you should be thankful for your conscience, inconvenient as you term it, that allows you to do your duty by us. Even though life may be a little dreary in consequence, it won't be dreary soon. Impetuous youth will depart, and then you will appreciate the peace and beauty around us like I do. I never should once have believed I could be happy so far from the British Museum and omnibuses ; but I am indeed, and often and often I say to myself, I never knewwhat real happiness wasuntil now." " You have Bob ; though I can't say Bob's presence or absence makes any difference to me," said Jacinth, carelessly.

" I can imagine the man who might, although I have never seen him." " You must go to the Powell's party, and, who knows, you may meet your hero," replied Mrs. Merridew. " The prince must come some day, you know ; that is the fate of every girl as pretty as you are." " The prince has come already so often that I feel I have had more than my share of royalty already," remarked Jacinth, flippantly. " When I was six I was in love secretly with a soldier who used to walk out with my nurse ; then I admired a keeper, also in secret and also when I was six, at Marklands — dear old Marklands ! I think Jane's policeman was next, but I am not sure. Anyhow I gradually ascended through a rising scale of German and French masters until I came out at sixteen, and fell a victim to the puny charms of a German princelet, I think, at a Mansion House ball.

I have only loved once since, and that hardly counted, as the unfortunate man was already married. Still, I feel no more chances can come in my way, after all I have already experienced and then cast away. Besides, do not I know exactly with whom I shall meet, all they will say, and what they will have on ? which brings me back to our starting point, for at least I do not know what I shall wear ; and something I must get, if I am to go, for except this gown and the veteran that has seen more Sundays than I care to recollect, I've not one rag to my name, as Rhody-Jemimy says when she wants a new piece of print advanced her out of the Clothing Club." " And Rhody-Jemimy will be here in half-an-hour, and there's the material to write for," exclaimed Mrs. Merridew, far more energetically than she usually spoke.

" Come, Jacinth, what is it to be — stripes or spots, silk or muslin ? I hadn't time to look through last week's Lady's Pictorial, and I am afraid it has gone back, or we might read up the fashions and " " And so become the mock of many," interrupted her sister-in-law, laughing, and bundling all the patterns back into the gaping drawer in the work-table. " Those patterns will come in delightfully for little Betty's patchwork, but they will not do for me. Fashionable poverty is absurd ; it can only be decent when it is unobtrusively clad, and that I shall be by purchasing the everlasting black grenadine at Brooks' shop. That will please Brooks ; so I shall kill two birds with one stone. I confess I should love not to have to consider these details, and if ever the prince comes, he must be able to give me all the beautiful dresses I adore, or he need not put in an appearance.

Ah ! Barbara, I often think the old story of Eve and the apple is a mistake ; the devil must have tempted her with other things besides, or else we women could never do the idiotic things we do in order to have lovely clothes and perfect surroundings. The love of beauty we all of us inherit is nothing short of a curse." " Is there no beauty there to admire?" said Mrs. Merridew, quietly, putting down her work and leading Jacinth to the window. While they had been talking the rain had stopped, the dense gray mantle of cloud had parted as it so often does at evening after a day's downpour, and the whole garden was glittering under a sudden flood of sunset radiance. Mrs. Merridew threw open the window and leaned out ; the thrushes and blackbirds were singing away hastily as if to make up for their silence ; a cuckoo was giving vent to its monotonous call in a broken and irregular manner that spoke volumes for the time of year ; and a curious mingled odour of damp earth, roses and mignonette began to rise, while tiny miniature showers fell ever and anon from the creepers that covered the house, and that were the refuge of many a nesting bird.

" Well ? " asked Mrs. Merridew. " Oh, yes, it's beautiful enough," replied Jacinth, discontentedly seating herself on the window-ledge and watching the gardener, who was coachman, groom and dog-tender on week-days ; and clerk and leader of the choir Sundays ; and who came out with the sunshine to slay snails, tie up roses, and do the hundred and one little jobs always waiting for him; "but Rogers is more interesting to me than the loveliest landscape, because he is human, and because he can speak. I'd rather walk down Bond Street and glue my nose against the shop-windows there, knowing I could buy whatever took my fancy, than see the most lovely landscape eyes ever rested on. I am quite aware I am a Goth, but I can't help it, and, as I remarked before, my prince must be able to put the key of my paradise into my hands, or he needn't come wooing to me."

" There's Lord William Petersfield, our would-be member," replied Mrs. Merridew, her busy fingers engaged in knitting, even while she was drinking in the view ; " what have you to say to him ? Young, rich, the brother of our own particular duke, clever, likely to be in the Government, unattached, as far as we know ; the very man, surely ; and you are to meet this Phœnix among good matches on the 1 7th. What can heart of girl desire more ? it is a chance in a thousand." " Rather more than a thousand," replied Jacinth. " I might as well select the man in the moon ; besides, Barbara, brother to a B duke as he is, don't you know the man is a Liberal?" " That is nothing against him" answered Mrs. Merridew. " Of course a Liberal is not nice, and an untitled h-less Liberal like our good friend Reuben Powell is an utter abomination.

But a duke's brother takes the disease very lightly, like measles in one's youth, you know, and only has it out of pure cussedness, as Bob would say. Ah ! " she added, a smile illuminating her face and causing her to look quite beautiful, as a familiar whistle was heard across the court yard, " there is Bob ; now we shall hear the news." And then, as Jacinth leaped easily over the low window-sill into the dripping garden, and opened the door that led from the vicarage garden into the flagged space sacred to the dogs, Mrs. Merridew smoothed her hair and straightened her dress, and looked eagerly out for her husband, who, despite the seven years they had been married, had not yet ceased to be his wife's lover. "On the road to fortune, dearest!" he shouted as soon as he saw Mrs. Merridew at the window, then carelessly tugging a stray lock of hair that as usual meandered down Jacinth's neck, as if the weariness of life did not allow of her doing her superabundant locks full justice, he added: "Ah!

Miss Untidy, you little know what I have here ; but wait, Barbara must have first peep ; " and putting his arm round his wife's waist, as she stood at the window, quietly smiling and knitting aw7ay, he sat down on the window-sill, and with his other hand drew out two or three letters and a telegram, all of which he gave Mrs. Merridew, taking away her work, and, regardless of dropped stitches and general destruction, stuffed it all into the wide, untidy pockets of the rough shooting jacket, that was, perhaps, scarcely clerical attire ; yet that could not prevent Robert B Merridew from looking anything save a high-bred, cultured, good, English gentleman. "Three first prizes!" he exclaimed at last, as he watched delightedly his wife's sparkling face ; " to say nothing of twenty guineas each offered for Rose's puppies.

I knew I was right about the old girl's points, and I wouldn't have believed the whole staff of the Meld had they told me to a man I was wrong ; yet this backs my opinion gallantly. I shan't have one dog in the kennels once this gets out, and my reputation is made. Five times twenty makes £100, and ioo shillings over — the may go to Ceardew's orphans, but the shillings Barbara shall have. They'll almost buy you that brown silk that nearly matches your hair, eh ! Barbara ? Now, if I wasn't a parson, I'd have champagne for tea to-night ; but as I am, I'll have an extra pipe in the shop and count up our prospects. Oh ! money, money! the possession of you makes a new man of me ; if only we were clear of debt and had .£1,000 a year, how we would enjoy ourselves to be sure ! Well, who knows ? I was offered a berth on the Squire by this afternoon's post ; there's a year ; then the dogs ; but when I remember all I owe, it takes the heart out of a man."

" Rather recollect how much we have paid," said Mrs. Merridew. " Come, Bob, you're tired; that seven miles drive over the heath in the rain is enough to take your heart out, as you express it, nothing else. Come in, change your things, and call the bairns. Brian is wild to know about the show, and dying to hear how Jock and Jenny went in tandem." " Oh, those wretched donkeys ! " said Bob, bursting into a roar of laughter ; "I never had such fun in all my life, and didn't I wish Jacinth had been there. They went like a couple of Shetland ponies, as straight as a die, until we reached the level crossing going into Barford. Something put them out there, and from that spot to the market cross their antics were awful ; and to add to my horror, it was market day ; and despite the rain, I met every soul that I didn't want to.

You know my character was never very good in Fulbrook, was it ? now I shan't have a shred left, for every parson and parsoness in the district were in Barford, and they all saw me : the boy running in front to keep Jock straight, and I myself, both my hands full of the reins and 'Tickler,' jogging up and down in the cart, the parcels flying, and Jenny's heels, every now and then, on the level of my nose. When we did stop at the Post Office, old Cutler came up, and freezingly asked me if I were an advance guard, belonging to the Circus." "Old Cutler, indeed !" broke in Jacinth, angrily, " he'd be polite enough if you and Barbara did your shopping in a carriage and pair like he does ; but then we pay our way, and his sons' bills and his sons' conduct " " Need not be discussed by us," interrupted Bob, " poor old chap !

I wouldn't be in his shoes for the whole world ; no one knows how sorry I am for him, and, indeed, for the whole Fulbrook set." " Why ? " asked his wife gently. " Because they won't know us, and we are so very much more amusing than most people, while we own our share of beauty, eh, Jacinth ? and should make a fine show at the County balls, if they were kind to us," replied Bob, lazily. " Then, too, you can't look at poor Mr. Cutler, without seeing how worn and tired he is ; his carriage and pair are a desperate struggle to keep himself right in the eyes of the Barford people. Now, we don't struggle, we are frankly what we are, and in consequence we have mighty appetites, good tempers, and excellent nights, and as I said before, quite worth calling upon if they only knew it." " But they would have called over and over again," said Mrs. Merridew, " had they not feared to embarrass us, because we could not return their calls as we had no carriage.

Mr. Cutler has told me this, and so did Mrs. Edwards ; the one spoke for Barford, the other for the whole Fulbrook district, so we mustn't blame them too much." "Ah! now that reason is done away with," said Bob, once more bursting into one of his hearty laughs; " we, too, have a carriage and pair ; you and I and the donkeys will go to-morrow, Bab, to call on the Procters. Mrs. Procter's tongue will act crier ; all Fulbrook will hear we can return calls, then we shall see. " Now let us see tea," said Mrs. Merridew. " Remember, Bob, what you have to do ; there's Rogers' son to visit before night ; I hope you got his medicine, by the way ; all the dogs to call upon, your letters to answer, and last, but not least, Brian and Betty to interview. Betty has been talking of nothing but the new hat you were to fetch her from Barford."

" I only fetched William's physic and the village parcels," replied her husband ; " those donkeys made everything else quite unsafe. Betty shall choose her own hat. I love to see her prancing about before the glass ; she's the very vainest imp I ever saw, and reminds me painfully of what you were, Jacinth. By the way, I saw Lord William in Barford to-day. I was much amused by the quiet manner he was taking stock of the people ; of course, our man was green with jealousy, and more effusive than ever. I stared when I saw old Powell go up to him and smack him on the back — ''ullo 'Erbert,' he said, ' you and Lord William should know each other ; shake 'ands, yer know, and all that sort o' thing,' and then as the rivals followed his advice, and did shake hands, he gave one of his most horrible chuckles and dug young Talbot in the ribs, until he squirmed again.

" Horrid man!" exclaimed Jacinth ; " thank Heaven he is a Liberal ! " " There's one good point in his character," replied Bob, easily, " it's such a temptation for that class of individual to turn Conservative and Churchman when he sets up his carriage. I really honour old Powell more than I can say for the courage with which he has stuck to his colours ; and you forget, Jacinth, I too, hold Liberal principles, and would not vote Conservative, even to please you and Bab. I only call Herbert Talbot, our man, because he's sure to get in." " Yes ; thank goodness ! " said his sister, flushing. " No ; not thank goodness," remarked Bob, laughing, as he watched her indignant face, " rather thank the snobs of the universe ; the folks who sacrifice principle, honesty, unselfishness, everything, in fact, because they want to keep what they have, regardless of their poorer brethren ; as long as the British snob and the landed gentry exist, county representation is a farce, at least, as far as we Liberals are concerned ; give the labourer a vote, then " " Dear Bob, I can't have you going off on one of your pet hobbies, and riding rough shod over Jacinth and me," said Mrs. Merridew, smiling at his earnestness; "we all know every one of your arguments, don't we, Jacinth ? and you know ours.

Your principles don't allow you to vote, I am glad to say, so you are not dangerous, or we might try to convert you to our way of thinking ; women, you know, are great powers in that line — they can talk." " Oh ! heavens ! they can," remarked Bob, gathering up his belongings, and preparing to make ready for his nightly visit to the bairns' nursery ; where romps that almost shook the house down were the order of the day whenever he entered it. " And that's poor old Powell's danger. His females, to the baby, are all at him, to turn his coat ; because they want to get in with the Talbots and all the Fulbrook set ; and I question if he'll hold out when he finds his ' girls ' shut out from the magic circle. They are pretty girls too, and so lady-like I feel quite sorry for them. That poor gentle mother of theirs seems too weak to stick to her husband too, and I know she has remarked she wished pa would go to church instead of chapel, ' which is the thin hend of the wedge,' as pa would say."

Then, as small voices were heard shouting impatiently overhead, Mr. Merridew ran upstairs to the children, while his wife and sister made the study tidy for his occupation after tea, and then went into the dining-room, where that cheap, orthodox, and depressing meal was ready and waiting for them.

Chapter II. Two June Days

TDEVERCOMBE Vicarage was, take it all the way round, a very dreary spot in which to pass one's days, when only twenty-two years of life had been tried, and the passionate desire for " something to happen," that is as a consuming fire in early youth, has not burned itself out, or been quenched in those bitter tears, the shedding of which teaches us all, as time goes on, that those folk are happiest to whom the least happens, and that no adventures are as delightful as that slow, sweet procession of calm days, the Indian summer-time of existence, that at twenty-two is as the veriest stagnation, the most terrible of futures to regard ; but that is really happiness to those who know how to appreciate it fully. To Jacinth Merridew, the seven miles that lay between her and what she was pleased to call civilisation, were as very prison bars, keeping her in and obliging her to centre all her energies on her immediate surroundings.