The Way of a Woman

Front matter

THE AVAY OF A WOMAN rnixiT-D by SPOTTISWOODE AND CO., XEW-SsiU-E'i SQCAIU. LONDON THE WAY OF A WOMAN BY MEADE I AUTHOR OF 'A SON OF ISHMAEL ' 'THE MEDICINE LADY* 'a little mother to the others ' Whiteness most white. Ah, to be clean again In mine own sight and God's most holy sight! To reach through any flood or fire of pain Whiteness most white! Christina Rossetti LONDON F. V. WHITE & CO. 14 BEDFORD STREET, STRAND, W.C 1897 All rights reserved CONTENTS PEOLOGUE CHAr. PAOE I. The Private Secretary . 1 II. Dolly . 9 III. Refused . 18 IV. The Temptation .30 V. At the Sacrifice of Honour 36 VI. Going Under 45

Book I The Evangelist

I. Marjory .......... 53 H. Squire Ludlow's Cross 65 III. The Letter 77 IV. The Curate 85 V. The Religion of Hysteria 98 VI. The Curate and the Lady 109 VII. Ethel to the Rescue 119 VIII. The Drive Home 126 IX. The Obstinacy of a Woman 137 X. The End of the Struggle 148 XI. I Cannot ask God to Bless this Union .... VI

Book II The Disciples Chap

PAOE I. Priest and Sister 171 II. The Burden op a Woman 182 in. Ethel 194 IV. The Visionary 204 V. Agony and Rapture 215 BOOK IH THE HIDDEN FACE AND THE SHUT DOOR I. The Wife Leads the Assault 229 II. The Rector Continues It , . . . . . 239 III. At the Feet of the Priest 248 IV. The Last Sermon 260 V. The Confession 270 VI. Risen from the Dead ........ 284 VII. Through Christ — Amen 292 VIII. The Prayers of ihe Congregation ..... TWO NEW VOLUMES BY THE SAME AUTHOR. In cloth gilt, 6.. each. A BON OF ISHMAEL. A LITTLE MOTHER TO TEE CTHLES. lllu-tr_.ttu liy TllED rAUNr.TiD. F. V. WHITE & CO., 14 Bedford Sheet.

Chapter I The Private Secretary

It was a nobly proportioned room with a verandah running round three sides of it, and a lofty ceiling ornamented with arabesques of birds and fishes, and terminating in a dome of deepest blue. There was cool matting on the floor, and the furniture was a little Chinese, and very much English. Tables, chairs, lounges, great stands of flowers, stood about in every direction. English books were scattered on the tables, English newspapers were piled up, some on the floor, some on stands which seemed to groan under their weight. Every window looking on to the verandah stocd open, and outside could be seen the river Wusung and the more distant sea. Some English and French vessels were lying at anchor, as well as some queer-looking Chinese men-of-war, for this rocm was in the ' foreign settlement ' at Shanghai, and the young man who stood now leaning against one of the pillars round which creepers were twining was Sir Courtney Hale's private secretary, luintin Garstin.

Sir Courtney was the English Consul, and uie beautiful room with its wide balcony and deep verandah belonged to the Consulate. Quintin stood motionless, his arms folded across his B chest, staring straight before him. He was a young man, not more than four-and-twenty years of age, tall in stature and well made, with a pleasant and, at the same time, remarkable face. His features were slightly aqui line, his forehead broad and heavy in build, his eyes were well opened and of darkest grey, with that inner light which only some sort of grey eyes possess. His mouth was well cut and clean shaven, and when he smiled he showed white and even teeth ; but it was his eyes, shifting and changeful, capable at times of tenderness of expression, at other times of pathos, at others again of a very well marked recklessness, which constituted the real charm of his face.

His head was somewhat long, betraying at a glance a trace of the Celt in his ancestry ; his complexion was tanned about the cheeks, but white above the hatline on the forehead. The face was thin, although healthy looking, and the mobile mouth and the changing eyes made up a personality above the average in its power to attract and charm. It is true that a very close observer might have noticed some traces of weakness in the flexible, somewhat thin lips, joined to a tinge of obstinacy in the cleft chin, but these things would be only remarked when the face was in repose, and Quintin Garstin was too good a talker, too ambitious, too keen witted, too all-there to be silent long in the company of his peers. Now he was alone and motionless as if carved in stone, only the restless eyes betrayed life and impatience.

A curtain at the further end of the room which con cealed a door was pushed aside, and a Chinese boy ap peared carrying letters on a salver. He brought them to Garstin, who stepped forward with suppressed eagerness to receive them ; the boy then vanished as softly as he had appeared. Garstin drew forward a deck chair and seated himself. He glanced impatiently from one of the letters to the other, and then tore the one addressed in a woman's handwriting eagerly open. It was an English letter, and ran as follows : — The Private Secretary 3 ' Dearest Quintin, — I can scarcely realise the news which your last letter has brought to me. Is it true that you are really coming home in a month, that you will be back in dear old England this summer ? Your question, Quintin, I can answer without hesitation.

When you are ready for me I will come to yon. I long to be your wife more than anything else in the world. I have no in tention of shamming mock modesty in this matter — I love you and pray for the moment when I can give myself to you. Quintin, I was unhappy when you went away, but now the whole world is dazzling, glorious, steeped in rain bow tints. Oh, my dear, I know I am talking folly, and yet surely it is no folly, for my heart is full, my cup of happiness is overflowing. I do not know, Quintin, what I have done to be so very happy. Surely God has bestowed upon me most special mercy. I won't add much more now. I have no news to give you of the ordinary sort ; I can only repeat what you know well already, that I love you, love you, love you. I pray that the moments may go fast — my heart is full of nothing but you. ' Yours with devotion, ' Marjory Ludlow.' Garstin read this letter with as much eagerness as the writer must have felt when writing it.

The colour swept up over his face and his eyes sparkled. AVhen he came to the end of the sheet he kissed it, then put the paper tenderly back into its envelope and slipped the whole into his breast pocket. He now with somewhat slow deliberation, and as if he were unwilling to do so, turned his attention to the remaining letter. It was also from England and from his father. ' My dear Quintin ' (it ran), ' I am truly glad that you are coming back so unexpectedly, more particularly as they give me to understand that you are likely to get another foreign appointment before long. Sir Courtney b has spoken of you in the warmest manner, and I need not say how gratifying are such words, both to your mother and myself. Marjory ran over from Ludlow Hall this morning. She brought your letter with her and thought that she was about to give us delightful news.

She did not know that we should have a letter at the same time. The dear girl was nearly beside herself with happiness. She disguises none of her feelings for you, Quintin, but she is so childish, so fresh, so naive, that one cannot but love her all the more for her unreserved and very open affection. There will be nothing to prevent the wedding taking place immediately on your return. My dear boy, the more I see of Marjory the more I like her — yon will have won a wife in a thousand. Your mother would write by this mail to join her rejoicings to mine, but there is no time. ' Your affectionate father, ' Quintin Garstin.' Garstin took but a short time reading this second letter. Having finished it he placed it also in his pocket. He now stood up and looked with excited and happy eyes at the distant sea.

At that moment he looked without seeinc. He was in reality gazing at a mental picture which ab sorbed all his consciousness. The picture was of a lovely English girl in a beautiful English home ; the girl had bright chestnut hair, dark-grey eyes something like his own, and an expression of purity, peace, and innocence which would have touched the most callous heart. She was a lovely girl in every sense of the woid, and she belonged to him. ' Dearest Meg,' he murmured to himself, ' yes, I am the happiest fellow in existence. I belong to Marjory, and soon she will be my wife. Of course, I have nothing whatever to regret. That little affair with Dolly Grant is surely not worth thinking about — and there is that cursed opium ' — here his black brows were drawn together the sunshine deserted his sensitive face, he clenched one of his The Private Secretary 5 strong hands, and abruptly lest the verandah.

Sir Courtney Hale met him in one of the corridors outside. ' Well, Garstin,' he cried, ' have you had your letters ? ' ' Yes, Sir Courtney, I had two,' answered the young man. ' Good news, I hope ? ' queried the Consul. ' Excellent,' replied Garstin. '- Well, you look fit enough. I have had a very large mail, but do not want you to answer any letters to-night. Oh, by the way, some people are coming to dinner — you will be present ? ' ' Certainly,' replied Garstin. ' Are you going out now ? ' ' For a short time. I have some business to transact in the native city.' Sir Courtney said nothing further, and Garstin left him. The day was sultry, but the young man was impervious to heat. He called a sedan chair, and was quickly carried out of the part of the town known as the ' foreign settlement.' A few moments later he found himself in the 'native city.' He now dismissed the coolies and turned down a narrow street, crossed a byway, and, stepping in under a low archway, found himself in the outer entrance of an opium saloon.

The letter from the English girl rested against his breast— one hand was in his pocket and that hand touched his father's letter, the father who thought him the best fellow in existence. Many thoughts had he given both to his father and to the girl he loved, but now, as if a cloud came between him and memory, both sweetheart and father were forgotten. A painted, hideous-looking Chinese woman came forward. She nodded when she saw Garstin, and, drawing aside a curtain, invited him to enter the inner saloon. A few moments later he was lying on a sofa enjoying the fumes of the most seductive drug in the world. Garstin had been an opium-smoker now for some months, but up to the present the halter which he had deliberately fastened round his neck had scarcely made its presence felt ; on the contrary, the opium-smoke seemed to balance the whole day.

It put, as he expressed it, a thin wall of glass between him and the world. His brain felt all the better, his thinking powers the keener, for the solace which he allowed himself. There was, he argued, no harm in the indulgence. When in Rome one usually followed the Romans. Of course on his return to England he would as a matter of course drop the habit as easily as he had acquired it. Up to the present, too, he had been very careful never to smoke beyond a certain allowance of the drug. On the present occasion he had iust reached the stage when nothing seemed to matter, when joy or woe alike would have little power to disturb him, when a well-known voice sounded on his ears. He turned quickly, and saw an Englishman of the name of Grant lying on a divan near his own, and also smoking the opium weed. ' I thought you would come here to-night,' said Grant. ' I dropped in on the chance of meeting you.

Pray remember, Garstin, that you are due at the Lodge to-night. Make no mistake, be sure to present yourself.' Garstin took the pipe from his mouth and sat up. ' It is impossible for me to attend the Lodge to-night, Mr. Grant,' he replied. ' Sir Courtney is having friends, and I am expected to entertain them.' ' I fear, my dear fellow, that such an excuse will avail you nothing. Your presence is desired by the Vanguard, and it would be highly dangerous for you to absent yourself.' ' I regret considerably that I ever joined the Society,' said Garstin. ' The mystery was interesting at first, but now it becomes tiresome. I don't wish to go to-night. The Lodge is a good way off, and I have other things to attend to. Can you not make an excuse for me ? ' Grant, a thin, wizened little man of nearly fifty years of age, with a face rendered yellow by liver and the drug The Private Secretary 7 which he imbibed all too freely, gave Garstin a long and earnest glance. ' If I can manage to get you off this meeting,' he said, dropping his voice to a whisper, ' will you, in return, do something for me ? ' 'Undoubtedly, if I can,' replied Garstin, somewhat indifferently. ' If you can ! ' retorted Grant, speaking with irritation. ' My dear fellow, you scarcely know what you are talking about.

You played with fire when you joined the Yaotzu, you think it a light thing to disobey the orders of the Vanguard, you little know what you are doing. The emissaries of the Society are everywhere, there needs but a word — but there, I will not go into that any further at present. If I can get you out of this meeting you may think yourself in rare luck. I know from the signature on the paper which invites you to be present that there is important business to discuss. Your summons was en trusted to me — here it is.' As he spoke Grant fumbled in his pocket, and the next moment produced a queer three-cornered note. In this note was inscribed a few Chinese characters which Garstin with his knowledge of the language easily interpreted. ' Meet at the Lodge beyond the Yellow Bridge at ten ' was the message.

An arrow stuck from end to end right through a human skull was the signature. Garstin glanced at the Society's summons with an indifferent smile. ' All very fine,' he said, ' but this sort of thing can only frighten children. I don't intend to go. I should be glad to get out of the whole thing. If you get me off I shall be obliged, and, of course, if in my power to render you any service in return, you have but to command me.' 1 You can do this,' said Grant, sitting up and bending eagerly forward, ' after your dinner at the Consulate you can slip away — make an excuse, it will be easy. I want you to go and see Dolly ; she is alone and not very well. Give her an hour of your time this evening.' Garstin looked fixedly at the older man. 1 1 shall be only too pleased,' he said, after a pause. ' That is well. I will manage to excuse you to the Yaotzu, and will let Dolly know that she may expect you.'

Chapter II Dolly

In Shanghai society Dolly Grant was considered a belle. She had come two years ago fresh from an English school to preside over her father's establishment. During that time she had managed to captivate most of the available English youth in the place. Unlike many other English wirls, she had not succumbed to the climate — her complexion was still fresh and dazzling, her bright, very dark eyes, her piquant face, her quantities of soft black hair never looked more picturesque than when shown against the background of her father's richly and quaintly furnished house in the foreign settlement of the city. Quintin Garstin had made the Grants' acquaintance nearly a year ago. It was from the date of that acquaint anceship that something had come into his life which had gradually but surely altered that fresh and enthusiastic outlook on existence which had characterised his mental attitude during all his previous years.

Grant was a tea merchant, a very wealthy man, and Dolly was his only child. Grant loved Dolly with a passion which a man will only give to one object ; there was nothing under the sun that he would not do for her. To all the rest of the world he was cold, calculating, a keen man of business, selfish and hard to the heart's core, but Dolly was the light of his eyes, and to give her one hour's happiness he would have thought very little of sacrificing himself. He had some such thought in his head now as he returned home from the opium saloon. He entered his house quickly, and going into one of the large sitting-rooms, stepped out on to the wide verandah. He knew he should find Dolly there. She was lying on a luxurious sofa ; he hastened to her side. The heat had made her languid, and she had dropped asleep.

She did not hear her father's step, and he could gaze at her while she lay in such profound unconsciousness, with a mingling of expressions flitting over his face ; he would not have dared to show these could she really see them. Dolly in that slumber looked young, childish, and, in his eyes, very beautiful. He stooped and softly kissed her on the forehead ; the kiss, light as it was, caused her to open her eyes. They looked up under their heavy black lashes with a languorous and yet half-pathetic, half-beseeching glance. Dolly was dressed in silk, soft in texture, and with a blend of many colours both bright and harmonious woven into its changing sheen. An arrow of curious workmanship and studded with jewels was pinned through her coil of raven locks, some crimson flowers were fastened into her belt, and a huge feather fan with as many colours in it as those of her dress lay on a table near. ' Dolly,' said her father, ' you will have a visitor to night.' ' Quintin Garstin ? ' she asked eagerly, and with a catch in her voice.

She sprang to her feet — all her languor had forsaken her. Grant gave her a steady glance, a sigh came from his lips. He did not immediately reply. ' Quintin Garstin is the only person I want to see,' she continued abruptly. ' Is he coming or is it someone else who will be tiresome, intolerable ? If he comes I shall be happy, if not, I would much rather remain alone.' ' Give me a kiss before I tell you any more, little one,' said Grant. Dolly 11 Dolly gave him a glance as eager and pathetic as he had given her, then she rushed to his side, put one of her soft arms round his neck and kissed him several times on his forehead. ' Father,' she said, ' you look excited and pleased ; is Quintin coming ? Have you really managed it ? ' ' I have ; he willingly complied ; he will be with you to-night.' The other arm was now wound tightly round her father's neck.

Dolly kissed him again many times, then she gave a sigh of supreme delight. ' I have never concealed anything from you, have I ? ' she said. ' I love Quintin better than anyone else in the world. A week with him and then the grave. Yes, I am young and I dread death, but if a bargain were to be made that I could have him only on those terms I would close with it. A week with him and then to die. Father, why do I feel like this ? ' She fell on her knees and burst into tears. She was trembling terribly. Her father took her in his arms, made her seat herself on his knee, and kissed her with a fervour only equalled by her own. ' He is coming, my child,' said the tea-merchant. ' You need not cry so bitterly, Dolly. I promise, I swear you shall have your heart's desire. He is coming.' Dolly wiped away her tears — they were brief, like a summer storm.

She stood up again and continued her eager talk. 'At one time I was certain that he loved me back. Yes, I have never concealed anything from you. I can talk as freely to you, father, as if — as if you were my self. At one time I thought he loved me, he made me think so. He came here often, and he said — oh, never mind what he said, it was not his words so much as his look, his expression, the light in his eyes when they rested on me — they assured me that he loved me. I was certain of it — I was happy as the day. But of late he has avoided me, he seldom comes. Do you know the reason ? Is there another English girl in Shanghai, another as pretty as I am ? I am sometimes certain that I must have a rival. Father, you are a clever man, you can look down into the heart of things, can you guess why Quintin has not been here of late ? ' ' You may have stated the truth yourself, Dolly,' answered her father ; ' he may be tired of you.

That such a thing should happen seems very wonderful to me, but still it may be the solution. If a man wants a girl he generally makes an excuse to go to her. He may have wished for you badly for a bit and then have got tired ; some men are made that way. But never mind, listen to me. Why, how white you have got ! It is incomprehensible to me that one man should idolise you to the point of pain, and another should be indifferent, but never mind ! Who knows ? — perhaps he is not indifferent. Are you listening, Dolly? — I have something to tell you. It is this. If you want that young man — and God only knows what you see in him — if you want him you shall have him.' ' If I want him ! Have I not just told you what I feel ? ' answered Dolly. ' You are sure, little girl, that you would be happy as his wife ? ' ' Father ! ' — Dolly gave an ecstatic smile — ' it would be paradise.

But do you really mean that I can have him ? ' ' I certainly mean it. But first I wish to ask you a question. Suppose it is true that he has got tired of you, do you still want him ? ' Dolly's black eyes blazed. ' I want him whether he is tired of me or not,' she answered. ' No matter what he feels, I want him ; I am certain I shall win him back. Love like mine must be returned — it is impossible that it should be otherwise. I want him whether he loves me or not.' ' Sit down again, Dolly, and let us talk the matter over,' said Grant. Dolly 13 ' I cannot sit,' answered Dolly. -'[How can you expect me to sit still when you speak on such a subject ? ' She clasped her hands over her gay and beautiful dress ; her eyes were blazing. ' At the risk of tiring you,' continued Grant, ' I wish you now for the last time most seriously to consider whether Quintin Garstin is the one person you most wish for in the world, whether you are sure, when this girlish passion has subsided, that he is the one most likely to give you happiness ? ' ' Oh, I am certain,' replied Dolly ; ' where is the good of talking over what can never be altered ?

You need not ask me again— I want him. I would not look at anyone else, I should never love anyone else.' ' Still, consider very carefully, for you will have plenty of money, more than you will know what to do with — that is, when I die.' ' Don't talk of dying, father.' she said, tapping her foot impatiently. ' We are all mortal, child,' answered the tea-merchant — he gave her a quick glance which seemed almost furtive, his face grew a shade sallower than its wont. ' Yes, we are all mortal,' he continued, ' and in this confounded climate — still we won't go into that matter. Listen, little girl, I earnestly wish for your happiness. I loved your mother, and when she died and left you to me, such a mere mite whom I never expected to rear, I just seemed to double the love I had given her ; it all rushed back over my heart for you in abundant measure.

There is nothing, little girl, I would not do for you, and this Englishman Garstin is to my mind, that is, if you really want him, but remember he is not strong.' ' He is strong enough for me,' answered Dollv. Then she added in a reflective voice, ' Do you refer to his health ? ' ' To his mental health,' said the tea-merchant. He spoke again after long deliberation. ' Garstin is not strong mentally or he would not have yielded to the opium-smoke.' ' But you smoke, father ? ' 'I am different, I have lived for many years in China and have grown accustomed to it. The opium is second nature to me and cannot harm me now ; but all the same, Dolly, had I never yielded to it I should have been a better man to-day. However, that is a digression. But there is something else I ought to tell you. The English man not only smokes but has joined the Yaotzu.' ' What is that ?

Surely not one of those horrible secret societies ? ' The man nodded — the girl's face grew very white. ' My ayah has often talked of them,' she said, after a pause. ' She has told me horrible tales. The secret societies pervade everything — they are everywhere. Why should an Englishman have anything to do with them ? ' ' That is the question — why has Garstin committed him self? Dolly, I have something else to confess. I am also a member of the Yaotzu.' ' I guessed it,' said Dolly. ' I saw one of the letters once. It was pinned to the tablecloth in your study. Father, why did you do it ? ' ' Because to join it meant a very largo commercial success,' replied the tea-merchant, ' and tho Society can do me no possible harm — indeed, it may do me the greatest good. Dolly, by means of the Yaotzu I hope to get you your husband.

Now I will tell you no more. Garstin will call this evening — I shall be out.' ' Won't you be home to dinner ? ' ' Yes, I shall dine at home, but immediately afterwards I must go out. But you will have a pleasant time with Garstin — make the most of it, my love.' ' One question, father,' called out Dolly, as Grant was about to leave the room. ' Did Mr. Garstin suggest this visit himself, or did you beg, coax, lay your commands upon him ? Do you think he really wants to see me this Dolly 15 evening ? ' — here the girl's face flushed, there was a pathos in her voice which thrilled on her father's ears. ' Ask no more questions,' he said ; ' I have never told you a lie yet. You want Garstin for your husband ; he will be that before many weeks are over. Now I must leave you.' Grant rose and abruptly quitted the verandah.

He crossed the big drawing-room, and going into the corridor summoned an attendant to his presence. ' Order my sedan chair ; I am going out,' he said. The man hurried to obey. A few moments later Grant was carried swiftly along the streets by his coolies. The evening was hot, not a breath stirred the languid air. Tho face of the tea-merchant looked more cadaverous than usual. Two or three times he took out his handkerchief and wiped the perspiration from his forehead. Once, in a somewhat furtive manner, he laid his hand on his thin wrist as if he meant to feel the fluttering pulse. He had given the coolies a certain direction, and the chair drew up at last at the entrance of one of the best looking of the English houses. ' Is Dr. Hunt within ? ' asked Grant of the servant who obeyed his summons.