Jack Hinton, etc

Chapter I

A FAMILY PARTY. It was on a dark and starless night in February 181 — , as the last carriage of a dinner-party had driven from the door of a large house in St. James's Square, when a party drew closer around the drawing-room fire, apparently bent upon the easy and familiar chit-chat the presence of company interdicts. One of these was a large and fine-looking man of about five-and-forty, who, dressed in the full uniform of a general officer, wore besides the ribbon of the Bath ; he leaned negligently upon the chimney-piece, and, with his back towards the fire, seemed to follow the current of his own reflections ; this was my Father. Beside him, but almost concealed in the deep recess of a well cushioned arm-chair, sat, or rather lay, a graceful figure, who with an air of languid repose was shading her fine complexion as well from the glare of the fire as from the trying brilliancy of an Argand lamp upon the mantelpiece.

Her rich dress, resplendent with jewels, while it strangely contrasted with the careless ease of her attitude, also showed that she had bestowed a more than common attention that day upon her toilette ; this, fair reader, was my Mother. Opposite to her, and disposed in a position of rather studied graceful ness, lounged a tall, thin, fashionable-looking man, with a dark olive complexion, and a short black moustache. He wore in the button-hole of his blue coat the ribbon of St. Louis. The Count de Grammont, for such he was, was an imigri noble, who, attached to the fortunes of the Bourbons, had resided for some years in London, and who, in the double capacity of adviser of my father and admirer of my lady-mother, obtained a considerable share of influence in the family, and a seat at its councils.

At a little distance from the rest, and apparently engaged with her embroidery, sat a very beautiful girl, whose dark hair and long lashes deepened the seeming paleness of features a Greek sculptor might have copied. While nothing could be more perfect than the calm loveliness of her face and the delicate pencilling of her slightly-arched eyebrows, an accurate observer could detect that her tremulous lip occasionally curled with a passing expression of half scorn, as from time to time she turned her eyes towards each speaker in turn, while she herself maintained a perfect silence. My cousin, Lady Julia Egerton, had indeed but that one fault : shall I venture to call by so harsh a name that spirit of gentle malice which loved to look for the ludicrous features of everything around her, and inclined her to indulge what the French call the esprit moqueur even on occasions where her own feelings were interested.

The last figure of the group was a stripling of some nineteen years, who, in the uniform of the Guards, was endeavouring to seem perfectly easy and unconcerned, while it was evident that his sword-knot divided his attention with some secret thoughts that rendered him anxious and excited : this was Myself ! A silence of some moments was at length broken by my mother, who, with a kind of sigh Miss O'Neill was fond of, turned towards the Count, and said — ■ " Do confess, Count, we were all most stupid to-day. Never did a dinner go off so heavily. But it's always the penalty one pays for a royal Duke. A propos, General, what did he say of Jack's appointment ? " "Nothing could be more kind, nothing more generous than his Royal Highness. The very first thing he did in the room was to place this despatch in my hands.

This, Jack," said my father, turning to me, " this is your appointment as an extra aide-de-camp." " Very proper indeed," interposed my mother ; " I am very happy to think you'll be about the Court. Windsor, to be sure, is stupid." " He is not likely to see much of it," said my father, drily. " Oh, you think he'll be in town, then ? " " Why, not exactly that either." " Then what can you mean ? " said she, with more of animation than before. " Simply that his appointment is on the staff in Ireland." "In Ireland!" repeated my mother, with a tragic start. "In Ire land ! " " In Ireland ! " said Lady Julia, in a low, soft voice. " En Irlaude I " echoed the Count, with a look of well-got-up horror, as he elevated his eyebrows to the very top of his forehead ; while I my self, to whom the communication was as sudden and as unexpected, assumed a kind of soldier-like indifference, as though to say, " What matters it to me ? what do I care for the rigours of climate ? the snows of Caucasus or the suns of Bengal are quite alike ; even Ireland, if his Majesty's service require it."

" Ireland ! " repeated my mother once more ; " I really never heard anything so very shocking. But, my dear Jack, you can't think of it. Surely, General, you had presence of mind to decline." " To accept, and to thank most gratefully his Royal Highness for such a mark of his favour, for this I had quite presence of mind," said my father, somewhat haughtily. " And you really will go, Jack ? " " Most decidedly," said I, as I put on a kind of Godefroy de Bouillon look and strutted about the room. "And pray what can induce you to such a step ? ': ' ' Oui, que diable allait-il faire dans cette galire ? " said the Count. "By Jove!" cried my father, hastily, "you are intolerable: you wished your boy to be a Guardsman in opposition to my desire for a regiment on service. You would have him an aide-de-camp : now he is both one and the other.

In Heaven's name, what think ye of getting him made a lady of the bedchamber ? for it's the only appointment I am aware of " " You are too absurd, General," said my mother, pettishly. " Count, pray touch the bell ; that fire is so very hot, and I really was quite un prepared for this piece of news." " And you, Julia," said I, leaning over the back of my cousin's chair, " what do you say to all this ? " "I've just been thinking what a pity it is 1 should have wasted all my skill and my worsted on this foolish rug, while I could have been em broidering a gay banner for our young knight bound for the wars. ' Partant pour la Syrie,'" hummed she, half pensively, while I could see a struggling effort to suppress a laugh. I turned indignantly away, and walked towards the fire, where the Count was expending his consolations on my mother.

" After all, Miladi, it is not so bad as you think in the provinces ; I once spent three weeks in Brittany very pleasantly indeed : oui, par dieu, it's quite true. To be sure, we had Perlet, and Mademoiselle Mars, and got up the Pricieuses Ridicules as well as in Paris. " The application of this very apposite fact to Ireland was clearly satisfactory to my mother, who smiled benignly at the speaker, while my father turned upon him a look of the most indescribable import. "Jack, my boy ! " said he, taking me by the arm, " were I your age and had no immediate prospect of active service, I should prefer Ireland to any country in the world. I have plenty of old friends on the staff there. The Duke himself was my schoolfellow— — " " I hope he will be properly attentive," interrupted my mother. " Dear Jack, remind me to-morrow to write to Lady Mary."

" Don't mistake the country you are going to," continued my father : " you will find many thing3 different from what you are leaving ; and, above all, be not over-ready to resent, as an injury, what may merely be intended as a joke ; your brother officers will always guido yon on these points." "And above all things," said my mother, with great earnestness, " do not adopt that odious fashion of wearing their hair. I've seen members of both Houses, and particularly that little man they talk so much of, Mr. Grattan, I believe they call him " " Make your mind perfectly easy on that head, my lady," said my father, drily ; " your son is not particularly likely to resemble Henry Grattan. " My cousin Julia alone seemed to relish the tone of sarcasm he spoke in, for she actually bestowed on him a look of almost grateful acknowledgment.

" The carriage, my lady," said the servant. And at the same moment my mother, possibly not sorry to cut short the discussion, rose from her chair. " Do you intend to look in at the Duchess's, General? " "For half an hour," replied my father ; " after that I have my letters to write. Jack, you know, leaves us to-morrow." '"Tis really very provoking," said my mother, turning at the same time a look towards the Count. " A vos ordres, Madame," said he, bowing with an air of most deferen tial politeness, while he presented his arm for her acceptance. " Good night, then," cried I, as the party left the room ; " I have so much to do and to think of, I shan't join you," I turned to look for Lady Julia, but she was gone, when and how I knew not ; so I sat down at the fire to ruminate alone over my present position and my prospects for the future.

These few and imperfect passages may put the reader in possession of some, at least, of the circumstances wdiich accompanied my outset in life • and if they be not sufficiently explicit, I can only say that he knows fully as much of me as at the period in question I did of myself. At Eton I had been what is called rather a smart boy, but incorrigibly idle : at Sandhurst I showed more ability, and more disinclination to learn. By the favour of a royal Duke (who had been my godfather), my commission in a marching regiment was exchanged for a lieutenancy in the Guards: and at the time I write of I had been some six months in the service, which I spent in all the whirl and excitement of London society. My father, who, besides being a distinguished officer, was one of the most popular men among the clubs — my mother, a London beauty of some twenty years' standing — were claims sufficient to insure me r/o common share of attention, while I added to the number what, in my owu estimation at least, were certain very decided advantages of a purely per sonal nature.

To obviate, as far as might be, the evil results of such a career, my father secretly asked for the appointment on the staff of the noble Duke then Viceroy of Ireland, in preference to what my mother contemplated — my being attached to the royal household. To remove me alike from the enervating influence of a mother's vanity, and the extravagant pro fusion and voluptuous abandonment of London habits — this was his object. He calculated, too, that by new ties, new associations, and new objects of ambition, I should be better prepared, and more desirous of that career of real service to which in his heart he destined me. These were his notions, at least : the result must be gleaned from my story.

Chapter II. The Irish Packet

A few nights after the conversation I have briefly alluded to, and pretty much about the same hour, I aroused myself from the depression of nearly thirty hours' sea-sickness, on hearing that at length we were in the Bay of Dublin. Hitherto I had never left the precincts of the narrow den denominated my berth ; but now I made my way eagerly on deck, anxious to catch a glimpse, however faint, of that bold coast I had more than once heard compared with, or even preferred to, Naples. The night, however, was falling fast, and, worse still, a perfect down-pour of rain was falling with it ; the sea ran high, and swept the little craft from stem to stern ; the spars bent like whips, and our single topsail strained and stretched as though at every fresh plunge it would part company with us altogether.

No trace or outline of the coast could I detect on any side ; a deep red light appearing and disappearing at intervals, as we rode upon or sank beneath the trough of the sea, was all that my eye could perceive : this the dripping helmsman briefly informed me was the " Kish," but, as he seemed little disposed for conversation, I was left to my unassisted ingenuity to make out whether it represented any point of the capital we were approaching or not. The storm of wind and rain, increasing at each moment, drove me once more back to the cabin, where, short as had been the period of my absence, the scene had undergone a most important change. Up to this moment my sufferings and my seclusion gave me little pleasure or oppor tunity to observe my fellow-travellers. The stray and scattered frag ments of conversation that reached me rather puzzled than enlightened me.

Of the topics which I innocently supposed occupied all human attention, not a word was dropped ; Carlton House was not once mentioned ; the St. Leger and the Oaks not even alluded to ; whether the Prince * breakfast was to come off at Knightsbridge or Frogmore, no one seemed to know, or even care ; nor was a hint dropped as to the fashion of the new bearskins the Guards were to sport at the review on Houuslow. The price of pigs, however, in Ballinasloe, they were perfect in. Of a late row in Kil— something, where one half of the population had massacred the other, they knew everything, even to the names of the defunct. A few of the better dressed chatted over country matters, from which I could glean that game and gentry were growing gradually scarcer ; but a red-nosed, fat old gentleman, in rusty black and high boots, talked down the others by an eloquent account of the mawling that he, a certain Father Tom Loftus, had given the Reverend Paul Strong, at a late con troversial meeting in the Rotunda.

Through all this "bald, disjointed chat," unceasing demands were made for bottled porter, " matarials," or spirits and wather, of which, were I to judge from the frequency of the requests, the consumption must have been awful. There would seem something in the very attitude of lying down that induces reflection, and, thus stretched at full length in my berth, I could not help ruminating upon the land I was approaching, in a spirit which, I confess, accorded much more with my mother's prejudices than my father's convictions. From the few chance phrases dropped around me, it appeared that even the peaceful pursuits of a country market, or the cheerful sports of the field, were followed up in a spirit of recklessness and devilment ; so that many a head that left home without a care went back with a crack in it.

But to return once more to the cabin. It must be borne in mind that some thirty odd years ago the passage between Liverpool and Dublin was not, as at present, the rapid flight of a dozen hours from shore to shore ; where, on one evening, you leave the thun dering din of waggons, and the iron crank of cranes and windlasses, to wake up the next morning with the rich brogue of Paddy floating softly around you. Far from it ! the thing was then a voyage. You took a solemn leave of your friends, you tore yourself from the embraces of your family, and, with a tear in your eye and a hamper on your arm, you betook yourself to the pier to watch, with an anxious and beating heart, every step of the three hours' proceeding that heralded your departure. In those days there was some honour in being a traveller, and the man who had crossed the Channel a couple of times became a kind of Captain Cook among his acquaintances.

The most singular feature of the whole, however, and the one to which I am now about to allude, proceeded from the fact that the steward in those days, instead of the extensive resources of the present period, had little to offer you, save some bad brandy and a biscuit, and each traveller had to look to his various wants with an accuracy and fore sight that required both tact and habit. The mere demands of hunger and thirst were not only to be considered in the abstract, but a point of far greater difficulty, the probable length of the voyage, was to be taken into consideration : so that you bought your beefsteaks with your eye upon the barometer, and laid in your mutton by the age of the moou. While thus the agency of the season was made to react upon yonr stomach, in a manner doubtless highly conducive to the interests of science, your part became one of the most critical nicety- Scarcely were you afloat, and on the high seas, when your appetite was made to depend on the aspect of the weather.

Did the wind blow fresh and fair, you ate away with a careless ease and happy conscience highly beneficial to your digestion. With a glance through the sky light at the blue heaven, with a sly look at the prosperous dog-vane, you helped yourself to the liver wing, and took an extra glass of your sherry. Let the breeze fall, however, let a calm come on, or, worse still, a trampling noise on deck, and a certain rickety motion of the craft betoken a change of wind, the knife and fork fell listlessly from your hand, the unlisted cutlet was consigned to your plate, the very spoonful of gravy you had devoured in imagination was dropped upon the dish, and you replaced the cork in your bottle, with the sad sigh of a man who feels that, instead of his income, he has been living on the principal of his fortune.

Happily, there is a reverse to the medal, and this it was to which now my attention was directed. The trip, as occasionally happened, was a rapid one; and while under the miserable impression that a fourth part of the journey had not been accomplished, we were blessed with the tidings of land. Scarcely was the word uttered, when it flew from mouth to mouth ; and I thought I could trace the elated look of proud and happy hearts, as home drew near. What was my surprise, however, to see the enthusiasm take another and very different channel. With one accord a general rush was made upon the hampers of prog. Baskets were burst open on every side. Sandwiches and sausages, porter bottles, cold punch, chickens, and hard eggs, were strewn about with a careless and reckless profusion ; none seemed too sick or too sore for this general epidemic of feasting.

Old gentlemen sat up in their beds and bawled for beef ; children of tender years brandished a drumstick. Individuals who but a short half -hour before seemed to have made a hearty meal, testified by the ravenous exploits of their appetites to their former forbearance and abstemiousness. Even the cautious little man in the brown spencer, who wrapped up the remnant of his breakfast in the Times, now opened his whole store, and seemed bent upon a day of rejoicing. Never was such a scene of riotous noise and tumultuous mirth. Those who scowled at each other till now, hob-nobbed across the table ; and simpering old maids cracked merry-thoughts with gay bachelors, without even a passing fear for the result. "Thank Heaven," said I, aloud, " that I seeallthi3 with my sense and my intellects clear about me."

Had I suddenly awoke to such a prospect from the disturbed slumber of sickness, the chances were ten to one I had jumped overboard, and swum for my life. In fact, it could convey but one image to the mind, such as we read of when some infuriated and reckless men, despairing of safety, without a hope left, resolve upon closing life in the mad orgies of drunken abandonment. Here were the meek, the tranquil, the humble-minded, the solitary, the sea-sick, all suddenly converted into riotous and roystering feasters. The lips that scarcely moved, now blew the froth from a porter cup with the blast of a Boreas ; and even the small urchin in the green face and nankeen jacket bolted hard eggs with the dexterity of a clown in a pantomime. The end of all things (eatable) had certainly come. Chickens were dismembered like felons, and even jokes and witticisms were banded Upon the victuals.

" What if even yet," thought I, "the wind should change ! " The idea was a malicious one, too horrible to indulge in. At this moment the noise and turmoil on deck apprised me that our voyage was near its termination. The night, as I have said, was dark and stormy. It rained too — as it knows only how to rain in Ireland. There was that steady persistence, that persevering monotony of down-pour, which, not satisfied with wetting you to the skin, seems bent upon converting your very blood into water. The wind swept in long and moaning gusts along the bleak pier, which, late and inclement as it was, seemed crowded with people. Scarcely was a rope thrown ashore, when we were boarded on every side, by the rigging, on the shrouds, over the bulwarks, from the anchor to the taffrail ; the whole population of the island seemed to flock in upon us ; while sounds of welcome and recognition resounded on all sides — " How are you, Mister Maguire?"

"Is the mistress with you?" "Is that you, Mr. Tierney ? " "How are you, ma'am?" "And yourself, Tim ? " " Beautiful, glory be to God ! " "A great passage, entirely, ma'am." "Nothing but rain since I seen you." "Take the trunks up to Mrs. Tunstall ; and, Tim, darling, oysters and punch for four." " Great mercy ! " said I, " eating again ! " " Morrisson, your honour," said a ragged ruffian, nudging me by the elbow. " Reilly, sir ; isn't it ? It's me, sir— the Club. I'm the man always drives your honour." "Arrah, howld your prate," said a deep voice ; " the gentleman hasn't time to bless himself." " It's me, sir ; Owen Daly, that has the black horse." " More by token, with a spavin," whispered another ; while a roar of laughter followed the joke. " A car, sir — take you up in five minutes. " "A chaise, your honour — do the thing dacently."

Now, whether my hesitation at this moment was set down by the crowd of my solicitors to some doubt olmy solvency or not, I cannot say : but true it is, their tone of obsequious entreaty gradually changed into one of rather caustic criticism. " Maybe it's a gossoon you'd like to carry the little trunk." " Let him alone ; it's only a carpet-bag ; he'll carry it himself." " Don't you see the gentleman would rather walk ? and as the night is fine, 'tis pleasanter — and — cheaper." "Take you for a fipp'ny bit and a glass of sparits," said a gruff voice in my ear. By this time I had collected my luggage together, whose imposing appearance seemed once more to testify in my favour, particularly the case of my cocked-hat, which to my ready-witted acquaintances proclaimed me a military man. A general rush was accordingly made upon my luggage ; and while one man armed himself with a portmanteau, another laid hands on a trunk, a third a carpet-bag, a fourth a gun-case, and so on, until I found myself keeping watch and ward over my epaulette-case and my umbrella, the sole remnant of my effects.

At the same moment a burst of laughter and a half-shout broke from the crowd, and a huge, powerful fellow jumped on the deck, and, seizing me by the arm, cried out — "Come along now, Captain : it's all right. This way — this way, sir." " But why am I to go with you ? " said I, vainly struggling to escape his grasp. " Why is it?" said he, with a chuckling laugh ; "reason enough — didn't we toss up for ye, and didn't I win ye ? " " Win me ! " " Ay ; just that same." By this time I found myself beside a car, upon which all my luggage was already placed. "Get up, now," said he. "It's a beautiful car, and a dhry cushion," added a voice near, to the mainfest mirth of the bystanders. Delighted to escape my tormentors, I sprang up opposite to him, while a cheer, mad and wild enough for a tribe of Iroquois, yelled behind us.

Away we rattled over the pavement, without lamp or lantern to guide our path, while the sea dashed its foam across our faces, and the rain beat in torrents Upon our backs. " Where to, Captain?" inquired my companion, as he plied his whip without ceasing. " The Castle ; you know where that is ? " " Faix I ought," was the reply. " Ain't I there at the levees? But howld fast, yer honour ; the road isn't good ; and there is _ hole some where hereabouts." " A hole ! For Heaven's sake, take care. Do you know where it is?" " Begorra ! you're in it," was the answer ; and, as he spoke, the horse went down head foremost, the car after him ; away flew the driver on one side, while I myself was shot some half-dozen yards on the other, a perfect avalanche of trunks, boxes and portmanteaus rattling about my doomed head.

A crashing shower of kicks, the noise of the flying splinters, and the • imprecations of the carman, were the last sounds I heard, as a heavy imperial full of books struck me on the head, and laid me prostrate. Through my half-consciousness, I could still feel the rain as it fell in sheets ; the heavy plash of the sea sounded in my ears ; but, somehow, a feeling like sleepiness crept over me, and I became insensible.

Chapter III. The Castle

When I next came to my senses, I found myself lying upon a sofa in a large room, of which I appeared the only occupant. A confused and misty recollection of my accident, some scattered fragments of my voyage, and a rather aching sensation in my head, were the only impressions of which I was well conscious. ' The last evening I spent at home was full in my memory, and I could not help thinking over my poor mother's direful anticipations in my vain endeavours to penetrate w7hat I felt had been a misfortune of some kind or other. The mystery was, however, too deep for my faculties ; and so, in despair of unravelling the past, I set myself to work to decipher the present. The room, I have already said, was large ; and the ceiling, richly stuccoed and ornamented, spoke of a day whose architecture was of a grand and massive character.

The furniture, now old and time-worn, had once been handsome, even magnificent — rich curtains of heavy brocaded silk, with deep gold fringes, gorgeously carved and gilded chairs, in the taste of Louis XV. ; marble consoles stood between the windows, and a mirror of gigantic proportions occupied the chimney-breast. Years and neglect had not only done their worst, but it was evident that the hand of devastation had also been at work. The marbles were cracked ; few of the chairs were available for use ; the massive lustre, intended to shine with a resplendent glare of fifty wax-lights, was now made a resting-place for shakos, bearskins, and foraging caps ; an ominous-looking star in the looking-glass bore witness to the bullet of a pistol ; and the very cupids carved upon the frame, who once were wont to smile blandly at each other, were now disfigured with cork moustaches, and one of them even carried a short pipe in his mouth.

Swords, sashes, and sabretasches, spurs and shot-belts, with guns, fishing tackle, and tandem whips, were hung here and there upon the walls, which themselves presented the strangest spectacle of all, there not being a portion of them unoccupied by caricature sketches, executed in every imaginable species of taste, style, and colouring. Here was a field day in the Park, in which it was easy to see the prominent figures were portraits : there an enormous nose, surmounted by a grenadier cap, was passing in review some trembling and terrified soldiers. In another a commander of the forces was seen galloping down the lines, holding on by the pommel of the saddle. Over the sofa I occupied, a lev^e at the Castle was displayed, in which, if the company were not villainously libelled, the Viceroy had little reason to be proud of his guests.

There were also dinners at the Lodge ; guards relieved by wine puncheons dressed up like field-officers ; the whole accompanied by doggrel verses explanatory of the views. The owner of this singular chamber had, however, not merely devoted his walls to the purposes of an album, but had also made them perform the part of a memorandum-book. Here were the " meets " of the Kildare and the Dubber for the month of March ; there, the turn of duty for the garrison of Dublin, interspersed with such fragments as the following : — " Mem. To dine at Mat Kean's on Tuesday, 4th. —Not to pay Hennesy till he settles about the handicap. — To ask Courtenay for Fanny Burke's fan ; the same Fanny has pretty legs of her own — To tell Holmes to have nothing to do with Lanty Moore's niece, in regard to a reason ! — Five to two on Giles's two-year-old, if Tom likes.