Mated with a Clown. A novel

Front matter

% fltotal. BY LADY CONSTANCE HOWARD, AUTHOK OF ' SWEETHEART AND WIFE,' ' MOLLIE DARLING,' ' ONLY A VILLAGE MAIDEN,' ETC. 1 He will hold thee, when his passion shall have spent its novel force, Something better than his dog, a little dearer than his horse.' Locksley Hall— Lord Tennyson. IN THREE VOLUMES. VOL. I. LONDON : F. V. WHITE AND CO., 31, SOUTHAMPTON STREET, STRAND. 1884. [All Rights Reserved.] TO THOSE WHO HAVE SUFFERED, LOST, CONQUERED, AND FINALLY ATTAINED THEIR 'HEART'S DESIRE,' THIS BOOK Is IP-bicate-. CONTENTS OF VOL. I

Book I. In Iron Chains

CHAPTER PACE I. CASTLES IN THE AIR - - -3 II. DREAMS AND REALITIES - - - 28 III. A MODERN SHYLOCK - - - 45 IV. A BROKEN HEART - - G6 V. HER BADGE OF SERVITUDE - 86 VI. IN DURANCE VILE - - - 109 VII. LE QUART D'HEURE DES DAMES - - 159 VIII. LIVE IN MY HEART AND PAY NO RENT - 178 IX. HIS MOTHER'S BLESSING - - - 197 X. HER SAFEGUARD AGAINST DESPAIR - 204 XI. 'HE THAT DIES PAYS ALL DEBTS' - 213 XII. AFTER MANY DAYS -

BOOK I. IN IEON CHAINS

1 VOL. I,

Chapter I. Castles In The Air

' When all the world is old, lad, And all the trees are brown ; And all the sport is stale, lad, And all the wheels run down ; Creep home and take your place there, The spent and maimed among ; God grant you find one face there, You loved when all was young.' Rev. C. Kingsley : Water Babies. Outside, a white mantle of glittering snow. The flakes are falling swiftly, but with an evident intention of continuing their work of covering all animate and inanimate creation with their pure softness, like 1—2 Chum. 4 masses of cotton-wool, for man}' hours to come. The sky is a deep sapphire blue, with innumerable stars twinkling in all directions like huge diamonds, and a full moon shines resplendent far away in the heavens, flooding the world with rays of silver moonlight. It is a fair enough scene outside ; but inside the room of a cottage at Hampton Court the moonrays fall upon one still fairer.

The ' old, old story,' the only one that no amount of repetition ever makes wearisome, is being enacted there, with, as is often the case where it is a great, true and legitimate love, a sad but in evitable parting close at hand — nay, even at the door. But seventeen summers have passed over the head of the girl who stands gazing with eyes full of agony at the lovely prospect spread out before her. She is tall and slight ; her arms are round and white ; the hands show breed ing ; the mouth is most lovable ; the head, with its masses of soft brown hair, is majestically set upon her throat with the dignity and grace of a swan — it is wonderful hair, and when unbound covers her, nearly to her feet, like a mantle. But the crowning beauty of a face as near perfection as the world can show, even among English women, is supplied by the eyes.

They are large and lustrous ; her white face is illuminated by them ; they shine like stars ; they are deep-grey in colour, and sad in expression, and withal there is a look of mute agony in them that speaks Chivn. 6 plainly of a past of suffering and sorrow of no mean sort. She is simply attired in a. dress of soft Indian muslin, cut open at the throat, and filled in with lace. The lace sleeves show the beauty of the arms off to perfection. Ornament she has none. Her dress is faultlessly made, the thick folds hiding, yet revealing, each line and curve of her lovely figure. Hers is a face that, once seen, would not easily be forgotten — in point of fact, no one ever did forget Myrtle Lovelace, least of all any man who had ever cared for her in the smallest degree. And the man who remembered her most truly, and cared for her most faithfully, was he who now stood by her side, with his arm round her waist — he who, by the decree of a stern and cruel destiny, which they were both powerless to avert, must now at once, this very evening, part from her, certainly for years, perhaps — who can tell 1 — for ever.

His was a face to win any woman's heart — honest, cheerful, kind, trustworthy, and withal very good-looking, with his curly chestnut hair and blue eyes. As he looked at people, they felt he was to be relied upon implicitly in all events 0f }ife — what he promised, that he would perform, no matter what it might cost him. His friendship, never lightly given, was a thing to be proud of; his appro bation worth any trouble to win. Clever, accomplished in all ways, a first rate shot, a keen sportsman — good, indeed, at all games that required skill and activity descended from a long line of ancestors, and bearing an untarnished name, such was Rex Damer at five-and-twenty, the Chum. devoted lover of Myrtle Lovelace. Pass ing fancies he has had (who arrives at his age without them ?), real love he has never felt, but for one woman, and that woman is Myrtle Lovelace, and she returns his affection most thoroughly.

Myrtle means 'love,' and the name is well chosen ; for to know her is to love her, but no one does that so truly as Rex. And as for Myrtle, there is but one person in the world for whom she has felt, or ever can feel, the love that a true woman gives but once, and to one man, in her life ; it is a something different and apart from all the other attractions she may experience, and, especially where she is lovely, young, and fascinating, such attrac tion is never likely to be wanting. This love may come to you before you marry — God grant it may ! — it may come to you after you marry — heaven help you then 1 — one thing is very sure, that, come when and how it chooses, when that moment does arrive, then, and then only, do people begin to live — till then they have only existed ; life, with its infinite capacity for enjoyment and feeling, has till then been a sealed book, whose leaves must be turned by the magic fingers of the mis chievous little imp whose delight it is to plague poor mortals before they have even a glimpse of the sweetness that living holds for them — this love sweeps all before it; 'many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it.' It is all powerful, supreme, unconquerable.

This, then, was the sweet bondage that held Rex and Myrtle willing captives in its pleasant bonds. Up to now they had worn them lightly enough : both were Clown. 10 young, both were handsome, both had a fund of hope which seemed inexhaustible; what had sorrow and suffering to do with them ?• — they were for the old and despairing, not for them surely, for they had ' each other,' and to these two devoted lovers these two little words ' each other ' meant the whole world. Such had been their experience up to a few days before this evening — such, alas ! for them, will be their experience no longer. That they loved and would marry one day in the future they had had no doubt. It is true that Rex was poor, but, as Myrtle truly observed, ' he could work, and she could wait,' until he had enough to give her the little cottage that, shared with him, was all she wanted or cared for.

But truly chateaux en Espagne are easy enough to imagine, but the reality is difficult of fulfilment. So the blow had fallen, and from its being so totally unexpected, it had come upon both Rex and Myrtle .with crushing force. They had shut their love-lit eyes so determinately to the breakers that outlined the shore, which must inevitably shipwreck their frail bark. Their only cargo was love, that unhappily sinks more fair lives than ever it brings safely into ' the haven where they would be.' Rex and Myrtle had known each other for years, and had always looked forward to a future spent together. Now, but a few short minutes remained to them in which to say good-bye; they had no right to murmur ' au revoir.' A week ao-o Rex had asked Mr. Love lace, Myrtle's father, for his consent to Chum. 12 their engagement, and, when he should be in a position to claim her, to their future marriage.

What was his despair then, and Myrtle's, when in courteous but de termined words Mr. Lovelace informed him that he entirely refused his consent to any engagement between them; and even when Rex implored him to reconsider his de cision, and say that if in two years' time he had enough money and a home to offer Myrtle, and they were both of the same mind as then, then he would permit their marriage, Mr. Lovelace held firm — they must part at once, and for ever. ' If you had plenty of money, Rex,' said Mr. Lovelace, ' I think it only fair to tell you that I would say "yes" in a moment. Personally, I have no objection to you — indeed, I like you ; but you know as well as I do that it would be insanity — sheer insanity — for you to dream of marrying Myrtle, circumstanced as you are at present. No, my dear boy, I have other views for Myrtle.

I advise you to go away out of England cattle-farming, or something of that kind. In a few months you will have forgotten all about Myrtle ; and in the days to come you will thank me for what you now consider my cruelty. Or if work does not commend itself to you — you are good-looking and young — find out some Manchester heiress, make yourself agreeable to, and marry her, and Myrtle and I will give you a wedding present, and come to the wedding !' Rex looked at Mr. Lovelace, scorn ex pressed on every feature of his expressive face. 'If you think that years or absence Mated unth a Clown. 14 would have any effect in altering my love for your daughter, Mr. Lovelace,' he rephed, 'you are very much mistaken. I shall never alter, and I do not think Myrtle will. I will work ; but as for your suggestion that I shall marry now or in the future any woman but Myrtle, I treat it with the contempt it deserves.

I give you my word of honour as a gentleman, that Myrtle shall be absolutely free and unfettered ; I will not seek her again until I have the means of giving her all that you exact as necessary, but she will be true to me ; and if 1 live, the day will come — and at no very distant date — when I will claim my wife.' And with that parting shot, Rex turned and left the room, to go and tell Myrtle of the unexpected result of his interview with her father. As the door closed behind him, Mr. Lovelace muttered : ' You may claim Myrtle some day, but it will be when it is too late : she will never be your wife.' So the week of grace that had been allowed to Rex and Myrtle had fled with unusual swiftness, and the last evening, the last of time, had come. Mr. Lovelace had perfect confidence in Rex, that he would keep his word and leave Myrtle quite free from any promise to him.

For some time the two stood gazing at the white world spread out before them. It is chill, and dreary, and hope less, as their own lives seem to be ; not one ray of brightness to dispel, even par tially, the gloom which surrounds them. ' Oh, Rex, my darling !' at last says poor Myrtle, laying her head against her lover's Mated unth a Chum. shoulder, and twining soft loving arms around his neck, ' what shall I do without you? how can I bear this awful separa tion 1 It will break my heart ; for it is like rending my soul from my body to say good-bye to you. Can nothing be done V she asked piteously. 'Nothing, my queen, I fear!' answered Rex. ' Your father has refused his con sent to any engagement between us ; you are only seventeen, so cannot do as you like, and I have given my word to him that I will leave you unfettered.' ' But I have given him no such promise!' obstinately answered Myrtle ; ' and nothing shall induce me to — now remember, Rex, that while you are alive, and even if you were dead, no other man but yourself shall ever call me wife.' ' God bless you, my sweetheart !' replied Rex, gazing fondly into the beautiful eyes raised to his. ' If you knew how happy you make me ; to be loved as you seem to love me, Myrtle, makes me almost too happy ; if you were older I am afraid I should be tempted to marry you without anyone's consent but your own ; but if we care for each other as we do, Myrtle, we can wait until all is clear before us.

A cloud hangs over you, as over me, dear ; God grant it may soon be dispersed, and then, without a cloud to mar our peace, we will unite our wintry lives in one Ion sr summer. I shall look forward to a paradise upon earth with you. I shall never marry without your permission, so have no fear on the score of other people. Is, or is not, such a prospect worth spend ing years of uneventful toil and unhappi ness for % — my answer is a kiss.' vol. i. Mated unth a Clown. And Rex laid his lips softly on Myrtle's. So Myrtle looks up and smiles, and takes heart again as she listens to the words from her lover's lips, which tell her in the sweetest music on earth that he loves her, and her only, and that surely one day all will come right for them. ' It is good to hear you say that, Rex,' she replies. ' In the days to come those words of yours will indeed be precious to me.

After all,' she continues, ' no one can prevent my caring for you ; and no one can make me love, or marry, anyone else, can they V ' I should hope not, indeed/ answers Rex, clasping her slender form tightly in his loving arms. Little do they think of the untold misery that may be brought upon them by the determination — the strenuous opposition of a father, driven desperate by poverty that nothing alleviates, but who still possesses a winning card, which he is well aware of, and that he will not be slow to play, when the time comes, in the fact of a daughter of seventeen devoted to him and passing fair. Such goods can always be disposed of in the matrimonial market — there are always dealers, even for unwilling, loathing slaves ; and Mr. Lovelace, devoted to Myrtle in all else, will be as unyielding as marble on this point, for he is in sore distress, and, above all, he is nothing if he is not selfish.

All must give way to his iron will — even the child who, until now, when the struggle between his position and his daughter's life and love takes place, has reigned paramount in his affections. 2—2 Mated with a Chum. 20 Hard upon Myrtle that such should be the case. But ' where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise ;' and in Myrtle's life her ignorance stands her in good stead, inasmuch as it keeps her rich still in hope for the future — that future which, as she and Rex have planned it, may probably never be theirs. The cup of happiness is often held to our longing lips, and just when we raise it with joy and gratitude, anxious to drain it to the very dregs, the all-wise Provi dence, that has given us the cup, bids us once more lay it aside, once more set it down untasted — bids us wait in faith and patience, trusting always that He knows best.

Not always do the young accept this state of things with resignation ; it wants very often the weary years, the endless days and nights of sorrow and heart sickening suspense, that fall to most of us, before they can lay aside for ever the fiery hopes, the delicious anticipations, the undaunted power of looking forward, which makes up youth and life and love, before they can say, ' All is well.' Myrtle was one of those to whom such a discipline will be necessary. Some flowers give forth their sweetest perfume when they are crushed, bruised, dying ; so it is with some natures, particularly those that are loving, impulsive, generous, and constant. Certain it is that some people need sharp trial and great agony of mind to bring to light all the grandeur of their characters, all the good and unselfishness that forms in reality their very life and being.

To these, and such as these, how Mated with a Chum. precious, how greatly treasured, is the possession of ' their heart's desire ' when it is at last, after many years of waiting, granted to them. Even if it is theirs only on the threshold of eternity, while the portals are opened to receive them, they realize that it is best to have spent their days in waiting thus than have wasted their life and heart on unworthy objects, though even with the fulfilment of the boon they have so longed for the parting comes. But the enemy gives no quarter ; the hands of the clock seem to move with a rapidity that surely they have never exhibited before. Myrtle and Rex may count the time that remains to them by minutes — soon it will be only seconds that they can call theirs. Brave as they both are in all else, they are very cowards at the prospect of such a separation as they are now called upon to face and accept ; their love is so precious to them both, the time they have passed together has been so unutterably happy.

Has fate ordained that they must say ' good-bye V and though, in one sense, what words could be sweeter and more to be desired, for it means ' God be with you ;' yet when uttered, as in their case, without a hope of meeting again, they are sad beyond expression. But they must be said ; the inevitable parting, ordered by a selfish father for his own desperate needs, must at once take place. ' You will write to me, Rex V says poor Myrtle. ' No, my darling,' he answers ; ' I gave my promise to your father that, until I had made the money necessary to claim you, I would leave you quite free, and he forbade our writing ; but you can trust me, Myrtle, can you not V ' Until death,' she answered, Avith a steadfast lioht of confidence in her lover's power and determination to keep his word shining in her big eyes. ' And now, my darling, my sweetheart, good-bye,' murmured Rex, in broken ac cents. ' When next we meet, will be to part no more ; for I shall not see you again until I come to ask you to fulfil your promise of being my loved, honoured, treasured wife.

Think of that happy day, my queen — take heart, look up, and hope. I will never believe we should have been allowed to meet and care for each other as we do if we were not to be husband and wife sooner or later. I have your promise — you marry no one but me ; you have mine — while I live no other woman but yourself shall ever call me husband. Be my own brave darling ; give me a kiss to treasure until we meet. Say " I love you, Rex !" and then, God keep you !' ' I love you, Rex !' said Myrtle, strug gling to restrain the tears that hung like dew-drops upon her long eyelashes ; ' I have your word — you have mine.' And with his arms round her, Rex gathered her slight figure into his embrace, kissed the loving lips so near his own a^ain and a^ain, looked at the sweet face with a longing look on his, as if to im print the lovely features for ever in his heart, and then, with a long, long kiss, he suddenly released her, and before Myrtle had time to speak, the sound of quick footsteps down the staircase, and then the shutting of the halldoor, told Myrtle Lovelace that she and Rex Damer were indeed parted, perhaps never in this world to meet again.

And as she realized that her lover, her darling, was indeed gone — that perhaps never, certainly not for many sad years, would she look upon his handsome face, and listen to the winning tones of the voice that made life resound with heaven's own music for her as she listened to it — Myrtle fell upon her knees by the sofa, with her head buried in the cushions, as she tried in vain to check the storm of despairing weeping which seemed to rend her in two with all its bitter memories, its conflicting emotions, its burden of joy less, hopeless wretchedness. And so she remained for some time — how long she never knew. For the moment, weeping she might indulge in ; soon, she knew, she must face the world, and bear her sorrow without even the luxury of crying — no one must know how she suffered and wept.

Some half-hour after Rex's departure, a bright, laughing face appeared round the corner of a. screen which stood close to the door, and a voice full of pity, while its owner held out loving arms, said : ' My darling sister, let me try and com fort you !' And throwing herself into Mona Love lace's arms, Myrtle wept until she was exhausted.

Chapter II. Dreams And Realities

' Beauty provoketh thieves sooner than gold.' Shakespeare. ' To weep and sleep — Dream — wake, and find one's only one hope false — Is what we can bear, for we do endure it, And bear with Heaven still.' Bailey. Myrtle and Mona Lovelace were the only daughters of Mr. Lovelace. Their mother died soon after Mona's birth. There was only a year between the two girls, who were devoted to each other, and who had never yet been sepa rated. Mona was fair as the morning, with sparkling blue eyes, and a lovely face, all dimples and roses, like a veritable Hebe. To see the two together was a pretty sight : Myrtle, with her stately grace, smiling at the quickness and energy of her more volatile sister, and Mona reve rencing Myrtle as something too precious for the rough winds, the sad events of this life to come near, or in any way affect.

A loving protection was accorded by each to the other, which strengthened as the years of childhood passed into the days gone by, and the days of woman hood and the J ; present succeeded to them. Ah me ! that bond of affection between sisters, how pure and precious a love is it, naught to mar it ; and how, when the dark Mated unth a Clown. 30 hours come, and death takes away in a few short days the sweetness of a whole lifetime of joys and sorrows spent together, do we cry aloud in agony for ' the touch of a vanished hand, and the sound of a voice that is still,' and implore heaven to spare to us the life that is the best part of our own. But it may not be ; there is one saint less on earth, one angel more in heaven. Mr. Lovelace was the youngest son of a baronet. He had little brain, and less money.

Extravagant to the last degree, and reckless also, no lessons of economy ever took root in the ill-attended garden of his obstinate mind ; and the consequence was, that what with gambling, racing, drinking, etc., living as if he had thousands a year when he only had hundreds, when Myrtle was seventeen, his last penny was drawn from the bank, and all he possessed mort gaged to its utmost value. This was the reason of his obstinate refusal to allow any engagement or even correspondence between his daughter and Rex Damer. He was one of those men who will sacrifice even the person they care for most in the world, if by so doing they can benefit themselves. Not an agreeable character, and yet there was such a fascination about him, when he chose to exert himself to be pleasant, that few people cavilled at anything he said or did, or were suspicious that he had motives for everything he did other than those he allowed to appear on the surface.

If the world accepted him at his own Chum. 32 valuation, which was a high one (and the secret of success is to believe in yourself, for then others believe in you), small wonder that Myrtle never for an instant doubted his entire integrity, his devotion to herself, or imagined that he would re fuse his consent to her engagement with Rex. She was devoted to her father, and thought he could do no wrong ; he was her idol, perfect in her sight. This he knew, but it did not influence him one whit to consider his child before himself — far from it ; her very love for him was his most powerful weapon against Myrtle, which he had used, and would use, without mercy or scruple. Poor Myrtle ! poor child ! youth is hope ful, and God is good ; but it will need all your powers of hope, and all your faith, to face the dark, sad days that are before you.' For some weeks after Rex's departure Mr. Lovelace left his daughter in peace, so far as his plans for the future were con cerned ; if anything, he was more tender with her than usual.

The day after Rex's departure, when Mona came into the room where Myrtle slept and had her sitting-room, all in one, contrary to her expectation, she found her sister up and dressed. Her face was ghastly in its pallor : dark rings encircled the lovely, sad eyes, with unshed tears making them lovelier still. Plainly they spoke of a night of hopeless suffering, of silent fighting against the love that was so part of her life that it was her very existence, that must now be her whole existence no longer; and over all there vol. i. was a calm, fixed look of patient determination, that expressed plainer than words could speak that, come what might, Myrtle Lovelace would love but one man in her life, be that life long or short, and that man was her lover — handsome, loving Rex Damer. No matter what pressure might be brought to bear on her, what alteration in her life unforeseen circumstances (as yet not even foreshadowed in the future) might make in the current of her days, Myrtle would be perfectly constant to her absorbing love for Rex.

Few women, and fewer men, love like this. ' Myrtle, my darling, how sad you look !' said Mona, kissing her sister fondly; 'is it wise of you to get up so early 1 I know sleep and you have been next door neighbours ; your poor eyes tell that. Why did you not rest, and let me bring up your breakfast, and have it in bed.' ' Thank you, dearest Mona,' replied Myrtle ; ' but I have made up my mind to begin as I must go on ; it is an effort to me to do so — that I do not deny ; but Rex told me to hope, and he would not like me to sit down and be a burden to you all, because my father has refused to con sent to our engagement.' ' You are an angel I' said Mona. ' All I can say is, if father were to treat me as he has treated you, he would not find me so compliant. It is a shame you should be so unhappy — that's what I call it !' she finished, with flashing eyes and indignant glances.

By which it will be seen that if Myrtle was yielding, Mona was not. 3—2 She measured the extent of her father's devotion to Myrtle by a much truer stand ard than Myrtle did, and was therefore proportionately indignant with him for what she openly called 'his sacrifice of his pet child.' ' Impulsive Mona !' whispered Myrtle ; ' in your devotion to me you so often for get that " discretion is the better part of valour." I am only seventeen, conse quently I am powerless. I think I am more likely to overcome father's objections by not thwarting him, than by defying his authority. Don't you think I am right ? Rex says I am too impulsive ; what would he say to you, Mona V And Myrtle smiled a ghost of a smile as she thought of her lover's counsels on the subject of her impetuosity. ' I don't know what he would say,' said Mona ; ' but I know what I think, and that is, that I love Rex dearly, and I only wish the next four years were safely over, and you and he married and happy.' ' Shall we ever marry, I wonder,' said poor Myrtle wistfully. ' It seems too good to come true.' ' Of course you will,' replied Mona briskly ; ' you have only got to be as obstinate as father ; he must give in in the end — I know him well — and then it will be, " My daughter was so fond of Rex Damer, that her happiness being my first consideration, of course I said 'Yes' to their engagement," — and then he will shrug his shoulders, put on a bland smile, and the world will think him a treasure of a father, and we undutiful and ungrateful for the blessing of owning him in that re- > lationship — faugh !