Through Thick and Thin

Front matter

Through Thick and Thin. By Margery Hollis, A ut hor of ' ( A nthony Fairfax, " " Audrey." In Three Volumes. Vol. II. London: Richard Bentley & Son, Publishers in Ordinary to Her Majesty the Queen. 1893. (All rights reserved.) CONTENTS OF VOL. II. CHAPTER PAGE I. A Peaceful Home ... ... i II. In a Holiday Moop ... 30 III. Information received ... ... 58 IV. "Some Pleasures last a Month" 74 V. The Tenant of Kelvers ... 94 VI. Strategy ... ... ... 112 VII. "My Heart shall be my own" 139 VIII. A New Light ... ... ... 157 IX. A New Suggestion... ... 186 X. An Accidental Encounter ... 211 XI. On the Moor ... ... 228 XII. The Experience of Balaam ... 247 XIII. "The Curtain's Cue to fall"

Chapter I

A PEACEFUL HOME. " A world of happy wonders in one smile." A. Lang. T was an afternoon in December. The sun had set and the dusk was gathering. It was too dark to see com fortably, and Mrs. Mildmay put down the novel she was reading. She did not ring for lamps at once. She was in no great hurry to know how the story ended, vol. ii. for her mind was pleasantly engaged at that moment with real life, and she was in the state of lazy well-being when one grudges even the exertion of changing one's position. It was too much trouble to rise to ring the bell. So she lay back in her low chair and watched the glowing fire with a smile of placid content. Life had run very smoothly with her since she had taken possession of her new home, and nothing had so far taken the edge off the keenness of her enjoyment.

She gratefully acknowledged herself to be one of the most fortunate of women. The door opened, and Sophy turned her head towards it. " Is that you, Gay ? " "Yes; here are Jim and I," replied Gay. " We have had a long walk. This frost is delightful." " It's going to last, too," said Jim, with an important air. " William says so ; and he always knows. The tarn at Tarn Hall is bearing, and I want to go and skate on it to-morrow. William says he will teach me. May I go, mother ? " Yes, certainly, darling." " I must have a pair of skates. Can't William fetch me a pair from the village to-night ? " " Oh yes, dear," said Sophy, quickly. Jim was quite satisfied with her absent granting of his requests. He liked his stepmother, for when he carried a petition to her it was never denied ; and for sympathy and interest in his small affairs he looked to Gay, who gave them liberally.

" Oh, Gay," went on Sophy, in a more animated manner, "what do you think ? Miles is coming this afternoon, and his housekeeper was in quite a state about it, for she has rheumatism badly, and she can hardly get about. She has only a young girl to help her just now — one of the Lawsons. She sent over to ask Porter if she could let her have something to make out a dinner for Miles to-night, and Porter, of course, came to me about it. I thought poor Miles would be too uncomfortable, with Mrs. Mason crippled and Nelly Lawson waiting on him, so I sent him a note, begging him to stay with us. It will be nicer for him, and I know James will like to have him. He will be here in half an hour now. Would you mind looking at his room — he is to be in the blue-room — to see if it is all right ? Sarah is very good and careful, but servants forget things sometimes."

" Yes, dear ; I'll see to it," replied Gay. She ran lightly upstairs to the blue room, where close inspection revealed that nothing that could make a guest comfort able was lacking, and then she went to her own room to lay aside hat and jacket. She lingered over that business, trying to subdue the fluttering of her pulses which Sophy's intelligence had caused. To know that she would so soon meet Miles Thornburgh, sent her mind back to the last times she had seen him, especially to that evening at the Kemble, of which her memory retained a very sharp im pression. It was a recollection that was not agreeable to her, quite apart from the peculiarly painful circumstances with which it was associated. She did not like to remember how she had felt about him then ; she was ashamed of her pleasure in his presence and of her belief in his admiration and liking.

When the glow of that evening's exalte' mood had faded, she blamed herself severely for such a flight of fancy, and determinedly set forth the reasons against indulging in such folly. She was re solved not to expect much from life in any way. Her shrewdness and know ledge of the world made her rate her claims very low, and pride showed her that to cherish sanguine hopes of the future was to court mortification. She did not believe in romance — at least, not where she was concerned. Experience had made her cynical, and broken the spring of youthful confidence in her. It was only silly to dream of a lover's devotion. "I have not had a proper upbringing," she reflected dispassionately. " Why, when I was fifteen I knew more of debt and mean shifts than he will know if he lives to be ninety. I have rubbed against all sorts of people while I tried to keep body and soul together.

I have been hungry because I couldn't buy food ; I have had to take charity. And it isn't as if I had great beauty to make a man overlook my draw backs. I am not even particularly good-looking. A pretty match I should be!" Besides, there was another reason for banishing all fond fancies — a reason that was known only to Gay. The cloud which had threatened to darken all her sky had disappeared for the time, but it was always possible that it might return. She did not now go in fear of that. Two months had passed quietly and she felt secure from discovery. But, so long as she knew that discovery was not altogether impossible, so long it would not be right to let any man unite his fortunes to hers. She had not said so much definitely to herself. In the reaction after that episode in London, it had seemed to her too im probable that Thornburgh's liking had been more than was enough to make him disposed to flirt a little, for her to con sider the possibility of anything really serious.

She had not been by any means unhappy on his account, and none of her time had been wasted in dreams and longings. Such conduct would have been in her opinion ridiculous. As she expected little from life she was the more easily contented, and she had found life very good that autumn. So long as she could dwell in Sophy's home and see Sophy happy and prosperous, it would be wicked to repine. She had been so serenely cheerful that it provoked her a little to find that the prospect of Thornburgh's reappearance disturbed her calm. She was sorry that Sophy was hospitable to her cousin ; she would have preferred not to be thrown so much into his way. She took herself to task for these sentiments as she laid aside her walking gear. She had no romance about him — none. She was not going to fall in love with him.

And there was little danger that she would see much of him. Sophy and Mr. Mildmay would claim his society, and she could easily keep herself in the background. The lamps were lighted in the drawing room when she went downstairs, and Mr. Mildmay was standing with his back to the fire, listening to his wife, who was discoursing in plaintive accents. " I hope I have done right," she was saying when Gay entered, " but I feel quite uncomfortable about it now. It is about Miles, Gay. I wonder whether Adelaide will be offended because I asked him here. She always seems to lay claim to him, and she will probably think he ought to have gone there. I feel almost sure she won't be pleased. Adelaide doesn't like other people to do things — she wants to be first." One of the luxuries of Sophy's pros perity was to indulge occasionally in dis paraging criticisms of her sister-in-law.

It was some indemnification for the unwel come discipline which she had undergone at Mrs. Fletcher's hands. " Never mind if she doesn't like it," said Mr. Mildmay, placidly. "What does it matter ? But surely she can't be unreasonable enough to object to your inviting your cousin ? He is as much your relation as hers." " More," observed Sophy. " He is only related by marriage to Adelaide, you know. But she seems to think he is quite the property of Tarn Hall. You'll see she will get him away ; he will soon go to stay there." Mr. Mildmay appeared to be unmoved by this forecast. Sophy looked unhappy, and settled her bracelets with puckered brows. " I do wish I hadn't sent that note to him," her plaint went on. " Adelaide will think me interfering. I believe she has a notion that Miles would do very well for Mabel."

"So he would," said Mr. Mildmay; "and she would do very well for him. She's a pretty girl, is Mabel, and a nice one too." " Very likely he would rather have gone to Tarn Hall, if I had left him alone. I wish I had stopped to think — ■ — " These heart-searchings were cut short by sounds of an arrival. Mr. Mildmay went out to receive his guest, and Sophy followed. There was a confusion of friendly greetings accompanied by wild barks from Fido, Jim's dog, a muddle headed beast, who forgot old acquaint ance, and barked as readily at accustomed visitors as at tramps. As Sophy led her guest into the draw ing-room, she reverted to her doubts, and plunged into an apology for inviting him. " I thought you would be more comfortable here than at your house, Miles," she explained. " That is quite certain, and I am deeply grateful to you for taking me in, Sophy," returned her cousin, cordially.

" How do you do, Miss Rushton ?" It was a brief, almost aside, greeting, for Sophy demanded his attention ; but the lowered tone said, " How glad I am to see you ! " as plainly as explicit words. " If Adelaide wants you," pursued Sophy, " you must go to her — you must not think of us ; we shall not be at all offended. She will like to have you part of the time you are in the north this Christmas." " That sounds as if you repented already of your invitation to Miles, and wanted to cut his stay short, do you know, Sophy ? " said her husband, laughing. " Oh no, no, indeed ; I should like him to stay as long as possible," protested Sophy ; "and I hope you will, Miles. But, of course, you might like to give some time to Tarn Hall." " Thank you ; I shall be delighted to stay with you as long as Mrs. Mason is disabled," returned Thornburgh.

" If you knew how rejoiced I was to get your note this afternoon, you would be afraid that I shall inflict myself unmercifully upon you. Sophy beamed at this compliment, and gave no more consideration to Adelaide's possible sentiments about her daring attention to her cousin. After tea, Jim, beautifully arrayed in violet velvet and a lace collar, came down for an hour in the bosom of the family. His attire had become much more picturesque and studied since his stepmother had bought it. He attached him self to Gay, who was sitting a little apart, and she began a game of cards with him. Presently Thornburgh, who had been held in talk by his host and hostess since his arrival, went over to the pair at the card-table, and asked what they were playing at. " Vingt-et-un," replied Jim. " You seem to enjoy it very much," said Thornburgh.

" Is it so engrossing, Miss Rushton ? " " It is a delightful game," she returned. "You can play, if you like, Cousin Miles," said Jim, kindly, pausing in his laborious and painstaking dealing. " Thank you, Jim ; I think I should like to take a hand." Jim was charmed with his cousin that evening ; he had never before found him such a congenial companion. Game after game did he join in, showing unwearied sympathy for Jim's very bad luck. Once Sophy interposed. " Miles, don't let Jim trouble you. You must not put yourself out of your way for his amusement." " Oh, I am playing for my own amuse ment — I am enjoying myself," returned Thornburgh. Jim was highly pleased with that speech, for the idea that people should play for his amusement galled his proud spirit. " It is a jolly game," he said, smiling over the cards he was clutching in his dimpled hand.

His two playfellows looked at him with responsive smiles, and then their eyes met, and Gay looked down and studied her cards closely. '7 "Very jolly," said Thornburgh, in a heartfelt tone. Next day was bright and clear ; the frost was hard ; and the chief topic dis cussed at breakfast was skating. Mr. Mildmay lamented that he must go to the nearest town on business, and envied Thornburgh. " I'll drive you to Tarn Hall," he said ; " of course you will want to begin as soon ir as you can. " Thanks, yes ; I should like to get there early. When shall you go, Sophy? " Mrs. Mildmay was not going at all ; she did not skate. " Don't you skate, Miss Rushton ? " asked Thornburgh. " Very little." " But surely you are not going to lose this splendid chance of learning more ? " VOL. " I think I shall go after lunch ; I haven't time this morning," said Gay.

Owing to its high exposed situation the tarn in the grounds of Tarn Hall froze early, and it was therefore a favourite resort of the skaters of the neighbourhood. There were a good many people on the ice when Gay made her tardy appearance. She had driven over alone in a little pony-cart which had been used by Miss Mildmay, and was now made over to her service. She stood for a moment on the bank of the lake, looking at the pretty scene, the glowing faces and swiftly moving figures against a background of firs. Thornburgh was skating with Mabel — just what she had expected to see. "They look very nice together; she is the right height to pair well with him, and how pretty she is with that bright colour and the sun on her hair ! " said Gay to herself. Of course that was the right thing. She had seen from her first coming to the place how suitable it would be ; and she impressed the eminent fitness of the arrangement afresh on her mind by way of wholesome self-discipline.

All the skaters were engaged with their pastime and their companions, and nobody noticed Gay's approach at first. She beckoned to William, the groom, who was looking after Jim, and asked him to put her skates on. William fetched a chair for her, and while, he buckled the straps Jim stood by, and delivered a prolix account of his experiences on the ice. " I do it very well," he remarked, with satisfaction. " William says I am learning fast, and he's going to teach me to do figures soon. You can't do them, Gay." " I certainly cannot — to keep on my feet used to be about all I could do," returned Gay, smiling. "William can teach you," suggested Jim. " You will, won't you, William ? " " I'd be proud to do anything for Miss Rushton, Master Jim," replied William ; "but she will have better teachers than 1 1 me.

" Oh, you do them quite beautifully," declared Jim, eager to defend William, who was his great friend and ally, from any misjudgment caused by his too modest estimate of his own powers. As William finished, Thornburgh came up, and, much to Jim's indignation, in sisted on examining Gay's skates for himself. " William fastened them — they're all right," protested Jim, warmly. "My dear Jim," said his cousin, "suppose you go and skate." And William drew his young champion away with gentle, resistless force. " What are you smiling at ? " asked Jim, when he drew breath after the long run. " Little boys shouldn't ask questions," was the unsatisfactory reply. " Is it because you think Cousin Miles foolish to make such a fuss about the fastenings ? " " No, Master Jim, I think Mr. Thorn burgh is very sensible," rejoined the magnanimous William.

Sophy called at Tarn Hall that after noon, and found her sister-in-law in the drawing-room with two or three matrons whose young people were on the ice. Mrs. Fletcher proposed that they should go to the lake to see the skaters and summon them to tea, and the ladies set forth, exchanging as they went the stock remarks about skating — it was so healthy, such good exercise, so graceful, " and," added one, " it brought young people together." This remark was addressed to Sophy, and she acquiesced with a yawn behind her muff". That was a process in which she took no interest at that moment ; she was longing for tea, and thinking it in considerate that Adelaide had delayed that important meal to walk a quarter of a mile in the keen air to see a handful of people skating. The most graceful movements on the ice would not give her so much pleasure as the sight of a plate of hot muffins borne towards her.

She looked on listlessly while her com panions admired the scene on the tarn, only exerting herself so far as to say something civil about Mabel. Sophy girded in her own mind at Mrs. Fletcher's maternal pride ; but she could not avoid flattering it at times — there was something in her sister-in-law's complacency which exacted acknowledgment that it was well founded. " She skates very nicely," said Sophy ; " and how well she looks ! But where is Miles ? " — in a tone of surprise, as she observed that Mabel's attendant was not that gentleman. " It would hardly do for Miles to be always with Mabel," said Mrs. Fletcher, with a smile. " There he is, looking after Gay. I am glad of that ; there are a good many people here to-day that are almost strangers to her, and I should be sorry for her to feel neglected.

Miles is always thoughtful." Mrs. Fletcher spoke in perfect simplicity. She did not mean to patronize Gay, nor to insinuate that attention to her must be disinterested. The speech was certainly open to that construction ; but the observer who noted in it feminine spite would have erred grossly. It was only dictated by stupidity, which perhaps is commoner than spite. Nothing is denser than a placid assurance of the superiority of one's self and one's belongings ; in all good faith Mrs. Fletcher believed that Thorn burgh was unselfishly thoughtful in taking notice of Gay, and was glad of his kind ness to the poor guest. Thornburgri's benevolence seemed to bring him a good deal of enjoyment ; he was bending over his companion with an engrossed look and talking in an animated fashion. Something in the attitude of the two figures — in the turn of Gay's head as she glanced up and smiled, in the way Thornburgh was holding her hands — struck Sophy, and she looked hard at them.

A new light suddenly fell on the remark that skating brought young people together. These young people seemed to be turning the occasion to account. How charming Gay looked with her shining eyes and that faint shy smile ! Sophy was in very high spirits for the rest of her visit, and chatted with unflag ging vivacity to her fellow-guests during tea. " She was quite the life of the party," said Mrs. Steele, afterwards. Clara, with the crude frankness of a youthful relation, remarked that Aunt Sophy talked louder than anybody else in the room, and was as excited as if she had been skating herself. When Sophy rose to go, she made her way to Thornburgh, who was talking to one of the older ladies, and offered him a seat in her carriage. " Many thanks, but I have begged a seat from Miss Rushton," he said.

"Very well," said Sophy, smiling as sweetly as though she rejoiced to escape his company for the drive. Mrs. Fletcher was near, and her instinct for management was roused. " You would be much more comfortable with Sophy, Miles," she remarked. " Miss Rushton has the pony-cart, and there is not much room in it." " Oh, there is room enough for me, surely," said Thornburgh, laughing. " I am not gigantic, and I don't like driving in a close carriage. Shall I be very much in your way, Miss Rushton ? " Gay had come up to take leave of her hostess. " Not at all," she returned, in a manner which struck Mrs. Fletcher as slightly out of place. She spoke graciously and amiably, as if she was conferring a favour, and she was not important enough to take that tone with Miles Thornburgh. "We shall be honoured by your company, Jim and I," she added, smiling.

Mrs. Fletcher went to the hall door with Sophy, and her sense of fitness was further wounded. While Sophy found many last words to say on the steps, Thornburgh was showing a deep interest in Gay's comfort. He tucked the rug round her with superfluous care, and expressed dissatisfaction because she had not a foot-warmer. " But I don't care for one on such a short drive," she protested. "Good-bye, Adelaide dear," said Sophy, kissing her sister-in-law with effusive affec tion. " I'm so sorry to hear about poor old Mrs. Lawson, and I will send her some soup to-morrow, poor thing ! " Mrs. Fletcher gazed in some wonder at Sophy's expression of profound satisfac tion ; it seemed hardly the right look to wear after the melancholy account she had just been giving of Mrs. Lawson's suffer ings. But Sophy was flighty.

That evening, after dinner, Mr. Mild may, as usual, asked Gay to sing. Thorn burgh placed himself near her, and there was a little low-toned talk between the songs. Presently Mr. Mildmay, also as usual, fell into a peaceful doze, overcome by the heat of the fire and the soothing influence of Gay's voice. Then the sing ing came to an end, and the talk was carried on steadily. Sophy read a novel with languid atten tion, glancing every now and then over the volume at the two by the piano, with a smile at their absorbed air, and exercising a really heroic self-control in keeping silence. She infinitely preferred chat to reading ; but, though a score of things occurred to her that she would have liked to say, she kept them back. Not for worlds would she come in Gay's way. •

Chapter II. In

A HOLIDAY MOOD. " Her eyes make bright the uneventful days." The Earthly Paradise. EjSl EXT morning Sophy had a cold, and breakfasted in bed, a little indulgence which she was always glad to have an excuse for. She had not finished her leisurely meal when Gay appeared with inquiries after her health. Sophy made light of her indisposition. It was not much of a cold — just enough to cause her to feel lazy. " The frost is as hard as ever, isn't it ? " she said. " Oh yes ; it is very cold." " That's right. I am glad the frost is holding. You must go earlier to the ice than you did yesterday." " I think I shall not go to-day. I will stay with you, Sophy. It will be dull for you to be alone." Sophy exclaimed at this proposal, declared that solitude had charms for her, as for sages, and that she could not allow Gay to lose her pleasure.

"You did enjoy it yesterday, didn't you ?" " Yes," Gay acknowledged, in a subdued tone, " I enjoyed it very much." "You will never skate well if you don't practise as much as possible," said Sophy ; " and I insist upon your going." " But it isn't a positive necessity or a moral obligation that I should skate well," represented Gay. " Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well," Sophy remarked gravely. " I don't need you at all. I have plenty of books — Mudie's box came yesterday — and I shall doze all the afternoon ; for I am always sleepy when I have a cold. Go and put on your things to be ready to start with James. He said he should order the dog-cart for half-past nine." " I must order dinner— " I will see to that. Just write down what you intended to have, and I will give the paper to Porter.

There is some paper in the blotting-book there. Gay, I will have you go," said Sophy, with a fine air of authority. Gay laughed — the energetic tone was comical in Sophy's voice — and obediently wrote out the bill of fare. "I think Miles is better off for food here than he would be at Tarn Hall," said Sophy, with an air of satisfaction, when she had read the menu. "Adelaide's dinners were very monotonous. She is very narrow. I got quite tired of seeing the same things so often, didn't you, Gay ? I like variety myself. Yes, this is a very nice dinner, thank you, dear. But don't stay here any longer. Go and put on your things at once. James can't bear to be kept waiting." Gay went to her room and made a rapid toilet. The night before, as she reviewed the events of the day, she had reproached herself for laxity in carrying out her intention of avoiding Thornburgh.

She had begun well, and could contem plate the first half of the day with satisfaction ; but the end had not been after that beginning. As soon as she got VOL. II. 2 to the ice she had been obliged to do what she meant not to do — what she wished not to do — and the rest of the day had belonged to Thornburgh. He had taken possession of her, and it had been so pleasant that she had for gotten her sage resolutions ; so pleasant that in her meditations she was startled by a sense of danger. It would never do to let herself care much for his society, she reflected, as she sat over her fire. It would never do to let her liking for him grow into her master. She shrank from love ; she knew it would be cruel to her. She would be more careful ; and as skating did not offer favourable conditions for the caution and self-control which she must exercise, she would keep away from the ice.

She had slept on this determination, had carried it down to breakfast with her, and hailing Sophy's cold with gladness, had declared her intention of bearing the sufferer company. She had not been shaken in her purpose by Mr. Mildmay's kindly persuasions, nor by the vexation which Thornburgh made no attempt to hide. " If I am so sorry to disappoint him a little, and so glad that he is disappointed, it is high time I pulled up," she thought. " I can stop now ; but if I go on seeing much of him, I shall lose my feet — I shall want to be with him. And I must not let it come to that — I must not ! Life is quite hard enough, without increasing its unpleasantness by love troubles." But Sophy had driven her from that position of defence, and Gay was not sorry for it. She liked skating, and the weather was so fine.

It would be pleasanter to be on the ice than sitting in a hot room with Sophy. And she stifled the muttered warnings of prudence by the reflection that she probably would not see much of Thornburgh that day. He could not neglect his relations — particularly Mabel. Thornburgh and Jim were in the hall when she went down. Jim was making his dog beg for lumps of sugar, and appealing for his cousin's admiration of Fido's one accomplishment. Thornburgh was leaning against the table with a bored expression, casting a listless glance occasionally at the performance. Suddenly his face cleared, and he made a step or two to meet Gay. " You are going ? " " Sophy insists upon it. She won't have my company this morning," said Gay, looking down at the glove she was buttoning. " Dear Sophy ! " murmured Thorn burgh, with deep feeling.