Cicely; a story of three years, etc

Front matter

CICELY: A STORY OF THREE TEARS. CICELY: A STORY OF THREE YEARS. BY ENNIS GBAHAM, AUTHOB or " SHE WAS YOUNG AND HE WAS OLD," " NOT WITHOUT THOBNS," etc. etc. As long as Love continues the most imperious passion, and Death the surest fact of our mingled and marvellous humanity, so long will the sweetest and truest music upon earth be ever in the minor key. IN THREE VOLUMES. VOL. III. LONDON : TINSLEY BROTHERS, 8. CATHERINE STREET, STRAND. 1874. [All rights reserved.} PRINTED BY TAYLOR AND CO., LITTLB QUEEN 6TBEET, LINCOL:i'B INN MELDS. Ko mjj dTicelg December 30.A, 1873. CONTENTS. CHAP. PAGE I. DESILLUSIONNEE 1 II. AFTER THE BALL 43 III. THE NEWS THAT FLIES FAST . . .69 IT. "TO MY AIN COUNTREE" ..... 99 V. "HOW LITTLE YOU UNDERSTAND" . . . 119 VI. A NEW TERROR 151 VII. ALONE 180 VIII. MADAME GENTILLE ...... 205 IX. A SOUTHERN WINTER ...... 239 X. AMIEL TO THE FORE ...... 270 XI. FRIEND AND WIFE CICELY

Chapter I. Desillusionnee

" What made the Ball so fine ? Bobin was there. ###### But now thou'rt lost to me, Bobin Adair." "Cicely," said Mrs. Methvyn late that afternoon, " I want you to do something to please me." "What, mother dear?" said the girl, looking up wearily from the book she was trying to read, "what do you want me to do?" She had felt very miserable all day. Her VOL. III. B Cicely. 2 anxiety about her father was by no means thoroughly allayed, and she knew that her chief support had failed her; and the impression left upon her by her strange interview with Mr. Guildford was still bewilderingly painful. Her mother was struck by her pallor and depression. " You don't look well, Cicely," she said anxiously; "is there anything the matter?" " I wish we were not going to Lingt hurst," said Cicely. " I cannot tell you how I shrink from the thought of it."

It was within a very few hours now of the happy moment which Genevieve had been all day eagerly anticipating. "In four hours more it will be time to dress," she had reminded Cicely with delight, a few minutes before. And Cicely had smiled and tried to think herself " cross-grained and ill-humoured," for not being able to sympathise with her cousin's enthusiasm. But it was no use. As the hours went on, she grew more and more disinclined for the Disillusion nee. 3 evening's amusement. " I cannot bear the thought of it," she repeated to her mother. Mrs. Methvyn looked troubled. "You used to enjoy dancing, Cicely. You used to be merry enough not so very long ago. What has changed you so ? " "Nothing, mother dear," exclaimed Cicely, ashamed of her selfishness, "nothing truly. I am only rather dull and cross.

Berhaps it is true as some say, that it is not good for people to live so much by themselves as we have done the last year or two." She was silent for a minute or two, then she looked up again. "It is not all crabbedness, mother. It is partly that I can't bear going to a ball when papa seems less well than usual." " That is what I was going to speak to you about," said Mrs. Methvyn. "I don't think your father is very well to-day. I don't like leaving him. What I wanted to ask you was, if you would very much mind going without me." b Cicely. 4 "Going without you,'' exclaimed Cicely in surprise, " Genevieve and I by ourselves ! How could we?" " You might go very early and be with Frederica before any one comes, as if you were staying in the house," replied Mrs. Methvyn. " I can easily send a note to explain it.

She will be quite pleased. And I have no doubt she will ask you to stay till to-morrow, which will make it all quite easy." Cicely's face grew graver. " I don't mind going without you, mother," she said. " Of course, I would much rather stay at home with you, but there is no use repeating that — but please don't ask me to stay away till to-morrow. Let Barker go with us; she will be delighted to see the fun, and she will take care to wrap us up and all the rest of it. No one need know we are young women without a chaperone — everybody will think we are staying in the house. Don't say I am not to come home to-night. I can't bear the idea of it." Desillusionnee. 5 She held up her face coaxingly for her mother to kiss. " Cis, what a baby you are ! " said Mrs. Methvyn fondly. " And yet you are so sensible.

What in the world will you do when the time comes for you to—" "Don't talk about it, mother, please don't," interrupted Cicely. " If you do, I shall begin to cry, and then what a fright I shall look to-night ! " " You are not looking well," said Mrs. Methvyn regretfully. "Indeed, you look as if you had been crying already — have you, dear ? " "Don't," exclaimed Cicely, turning away her head to hide the tears only too ready to spring again, " don't, mother. Let us talk of something cheerful. Genevieve, for instance. Did you ever see a little mortal ■in such a state of delight as she is? She will look pretty enough to do you credit .any way, mother." "Yes," said Mrs. Methvyn absently. Cicely. "Well, then, Cicely," she added, "I will go and write my note to Frederica and send it at once ; and remember, dear, you must be ready very early."

" Oh ! yes," replied Cicely," we shall be sure to be in time. I think I am much more likely to enjoy this evening, mother, knowing you are at home with papa. It was partly the feeling of reluctance to leave him alone that made me dull. It is so long, you know, since he has had an evening by himself." She spoke more brightly than she felt. She resolved to dismiss her depression and do her best to be cheerful, but it was hard work. Her pretty ball dress seemed a mockery, Genevieve's fluttering excitement jarred upon her ; over and over again she repeated to herself, " Oh ! how I wish this evening were over." And when she went to her father's room to say good-night, and poor Colonel Methvyn kissed her fondly, and told her he was pleased to see her in aDesillusionnee. 7 a ball dress once more, she could hardly restrain the tears that had seemed strangely near the surface all day.

"Did Mr. Guildford stay long with you this morning, papa ? " she asked, anxious to find out if the young man had said any thing about the change in his plans. " Not very long," replied her father, " he was rather hurried to-day, but he is coming again to-morrow, or the next day. He says he is not at all busy just now, and I am glad of it. I should quite miss his visits." " He has not told him," thought Cicely, with a certain feeling of relief, "he must be intending to do so the next time he comes. But I can't help feeling glad he did not tell papa to-day ; he must have seen he was not quite as well as usual." They reached Lingthurst very early, as had been arranged. They had to wait by themselves for some little time, as Lady Frederica and the visitors staying in the Cicely, house had not yet made their appearance in the drawing-room.

At last Miss Winter, in a new and elegant costume, came flutter ing into the room, full of regrets and apologies. Lady Frederica was so sorry, so very sorry to leave dear Miss Methvyn and dear Miss Casalis so long alone, but the fact was, she was not feeling very well and had gone to lie down a little after dinner (evidently a ball at Lingthurst was an event !) ; and the other ladies were dressing — she must run away again for a minute, dear Miss Methvyn would excuse her she was sure — Lady Frederica was not quite satisfied with her head-dress and she was altering it — she would be back in five minutes, etc. etc., and then she fluttered out of the room again. "What are these for, Cicely?" said Genevieve, touching a basket full of myste rious little white leaflets. " Cards of the dances," replied Cicely, glancing to see what she was doing.

" You Desillusionnee. 9 may take one, Genevieve — look, you write down the names of your partners at one side — so — and then you know whom you are engaged to dance with." " Oh ! how nice — what a good idea ! " exclaimed Genevieve gleefully. " But I am only engaged for one dance," she went on mournfully, " You Cicely, no doubt, are engaged for all." " Certainly not," replied Cicely, laughing. "I am only engaged for those I am going to dance with Trevor. You needn't distress yourself, Genevieve. You are sure to have plenty of partners." But Genevieve's face did not clear. " You will dance the first with Mr. Fawcett, I suppose ? " she said. " I suppose so," answered Cicely. " You mean it is of course, as you are his fiancee," observed Genevieve. It seemed to Cicely that that there was a slight sneer in her tone as she made the remark.

She looked at Genevieve in surprise, Cicely. 10 and as she did so there recurred to her mind what Mr. Guildford had told her of her cousin having been the source of his in formation. "Why do you look so unhappy all of a sudden, Genevieve ? " she said quickly. " I am not unhappy," replied Genevieve hastily, the colour mounting to her cheeks. "Well, you seem annoyed, at least. I never know how to avoid annoying you, Genevieve," said Cicely regretfully. " Only yesterday afternoon you spoke to me very strangely and unkindly for no reason at all that I could find out. And that reminds me — Genevieve, how did you come to be talking to Mr. Guildford about my — I mean about my marriage ? " "Who said I had talked about you to him ? " said Genevieve defiantly — the scarlet settling into an angry spot on each cheek.

"He himself," replied Cicely quietly. " He said that you had told him about my marriage." Desillusionnee. 11 "He knew it before," said Genevieve evasively. " No, he did not," said Cicely. " I thought he did — I thought he had always known it, but he never knew it till you told him. I am not blaming you for telling it — it was no secret. I only want to know how you came to be talking about me. Mr. Guildford was quite surprised — he said you mentioned it so suddenly. How was it? " She looked Genevieve full in the face as she asked the question. At first Genevieve's eyes fell; she seemed frightened and half inclined to cry. But her glance happened to light on the little white card she held in her hand, and her mood changed. She raised her head, and her cheeks glowed with angry excitement. " I told him," she said, "be cause I thought it would vex him.

I like him not. You think everybody is in love with you, Cicely. It is not so. It is only that you are rich. Some day you may find you have been too sure — you have wanted Cicely. 12 too much. Some day perhaps you will not get what you want — then you will no longer think you are to have all because you are rich and I am poor ! " "Genevieve!" exclaimed Cicely. She could not trust herself to say more. She turned away and began examining some bunks that lay on a side-table, astonished, and wounded to the quick. Another moment and Genevieve's passion would have ended as usual in a flood of tears, but thoro came a diversion. Mr. Fawcett suddenly entered the room. He came in quickly, not expecting to see any one there, and as he opened the door, the first object that met his oyos was Genevieve.

Genevieve in the full blaze of her beauty ; her loveliness enhanced . by the excitement which had reddened hor chocks and brightened hor eyes, even though its source was unlovely anger ; Genevieve, dressed to |iorfoclion, as lie had never yol soon hor, in a cloud of shimmering white, with crimson Dtsillusionnee. 13 flowers in her dark hair and pearls on her pretty neck — Trevor started as he saw her, and a half smothered exclamation escaped him. And in an instant Genevieve's face was all smiles and blushes as she hastened forward a step or two to meet him. From her corner, Cicely, pale and silent and discomposed, saw it all ; saw Trevor's start of unmistakable admiration, Genevieve's pretty self-consciousness, saw them shake hands and murmur a word or two as if no such person as herself were in existence.

She saw it, but, with instinctive loyalty, before she had allowed herself to realise the position, she forced herself to come forward. " You did not expect to find any one here already, did you, Trevor ? " she said lightly. " Mother made us come at least an hour too soon that we might be with Lady Frederica before any one else comes — we are supposed to be staying in the house, you know." Before she had finished the last sentence, Mr. Fawcett had perfectly recovered him self. Cicely. 14 "I am so very sorry to hear your father is not as well as usual to-day," he said kindly, as he shook hands. " But I am glad it was not bad enough to prevent you two coming. There is not much wrong, is there ? " "No, at least I hope not," replied Cicely. " I have not thought him as well as usual for some time."

She turned away and Trevor did not reply. Just then Lady Frederica and a bevy of ladies rustled into the room, and a chatter of greetings and introductions and regrets that " the poor Colonel was not well and poor dear Mrs. Methvyn unable to leave him " began. " You are not looking well, dear Cicely," said Trevor's mother, in her soft, plaintive voice, and somehow even these commonplace words brought the tears into the girl's eyes. " He never noticed that I looked ill," she thought, as she replied to Lady Frederica's expressions of sympathy, and Desillusionnee. 15 there rushed through her mind in sharp and painful contrast with Trevor's indifference, the remembrance of how Mr. Guildford's firm cheery voice had grown gentle and anxious that morning when he first re marked her paleness and agitation.

"And how perfectly lovely your cousin looks ! " continued Lady Frederica. " Bretty as I thought her, I had no idea till to-night how lovely she was." "Yes," said Cicely stoutly, "I think she looks as pretty as anything one can imagine. Do you like our dresses, Lady Frederica ? They are from Madame Neret's." " Genevieve's is lovely, quite lovely," answered Lady Frederica. " And yours — ah ! yes, it is very pretty, Chambery gauze, I see," she remarked, putting up her eye glass and surveying Cicely's draperies with a critical air. "Yes, a beautiful material and everlasting wear — I have had my Cham berys dyed black many a time — I was not sure if yours was a new dress or not." Cicely. "Yes, mother ordered both Genevieve's and mine expressly for to-night," said Cicely. " Ah ! yes. Yes, I can see it is new now.

Those good dresses, you know, never do look quite so brilliant a white as more fragile materials. And I was thinking of your trousseau, you know, my dear. It is hardly worth while for you to get any more new dresses now?' " No," said Cicely quietly. " What is Genevieve's dress ? " continued Lady Frederica, "tarletane?" " No, tulle, tulle over — " Cicely was be ginning, but just then Mr. Fawcett came up. " Mother," he said, " people are beginning to come. You mustn't stay any longer gossiping in that comer, do you hear, my lady?" Lady Frederica laughed. "Im pertinent boy ! " she said, rising as she spoke. " Where shall I find you, Cicely ? '' . continued Trevor, " we must be ready when the music begins, to set all the young people agoing. Dances are events, at this season, ADesillusionnke. 17 and these country girls have no idea of wasting time."

" I shall stay here," said Cicely, ""I shall be ready when you come for me." " All right," replied Trevor, as he went off with his mother on his arm. Cicely remained in her corner, watching the guests as they began to pour in. Now and then she came forward a little to shake hands with such of her acquaintances as caught sight of her, or to introduce her cousin, who was standing at a little distance, to some of her parents' more intimate friends who had not yet happened to meet her. " How lovely Miss Methvyn's French cousin is ! I did not think she was that sort of girl. We heard she was the daughter of a poor French pasteur" and " how ill poor Miss Methvyn is looking herself ! " were the universal remarks on the appearance of the two cousins. "It is the first time Miss Methvyn has been anywhere since the little Forrester boy's death, you know," said some VOL. III. c Cicely. kind-hearted girl.

Cicely overheard the words, and after that it seemed to her that there was unusual gentleness in the manners and voices of those whom she spoke to, or to whose inquiries about her father she replied. She was glad to think so. "Feople are very kindly after all," she said to herself. " I think I have been growing morbid lately. It must be all my fancy that Trevor is changed. I don't believe he is. One grows exacting with living so much alone." The thought cheered her. She looked brighter and less wearied when Mr. Fawcett came to claim her. " What has become of Genevieve ?" she exclaimed, looking round, as she took Trevor 's arm. " She was standing beside Miss Winter a moment ago." Trevor laughed. " You must have been asleep, my dear child," he said. " Did you not see me introduce Dangerfield to her ?

There they are. They are to be our vis-d-vis. Desillusionnee. 19 I told Dangerfield she couldn't speak English at all, and he doesn't know a syllable of anything else. It will be great fun watching them." Cicely looked uneasy. ' ' I am afraid Gene vieve may not quite like it," she said rather timidly ; " I don't think she understands jokes, Trevor. I wish you would tell Mr. Dangerfield that she can speak English per fectly, for if he begins trying French she would think it would be rude to speak English." " Nonsense, "said Trevor rather brusquely ; " nonsense. Genevieve understands a joke as well as any one. You don't understand her Cicely, as I have often told you. She knows all about it, and you will see how she will take off Dangerfield." Cicely said no more, but already the little gleam of sunshine seemed clouded over.

She went through the quadrille languidly and silently. Mr. Fawcett indeed seemed to have no leisure for talking to his partner ; c Cicely. 20 his whole attention was absorbed by watching the way in which his pretty vis-a-vis befooled her partner. Now and then he turned to Cicely. " Do look at Dangerfield," he would say ; " he has been five minutes over one word. Did you ever see anything so mischievous as the way Genevieve looks up at him in bewilder ment ? " Cicely smiled faintly. " I did not know she could act so well," she said. Then she regretted the words and would have said something to soften them, but Trevor did not seem to have caught their meaning. He was in exuberant spirits, almost excitedly gay and jocular, yet to Cicely it seemed that there was something forced in his manner, and when he gave her his arm again after the quadrille was over she fancied he was eager to avoid a tete-a-tete.

"I am afraid I must leave you here, Cicely," he said, when he had found a com fortable sofa in one of the drawing-rooms, Desillusionnee. 21 " I have such a terrible amount of intro ducing and all that to do between the dances." " Yery well," said Cecily. Her tone was rather cold, and Trevor, glancing at her, observed for the first time how pale and fagged she looked. " Are you not well, dear ? " he said kindly. " Oh ! yes. I am well enough," she answered, brightening up at once under the influence of his words; "but, Trevor,". she went on, after a moment's hesitation, " I am very dull about papa. I don't think he is well." Mr. Fawcett said nothing, but his blue eyes looked sympathy and encouraged her to say more. " I did not like to make you dull," she went on, " you seem in such very good spirits, Trevor," with the slightest pos sible accent of reproach.

"But you must not be vexed with me for being rather stupid. I cant help it." She looked up at him with tears in her Cicely. 22 eyes. "You are not vexed with me, are you?" she whispered. Mr. Fawcett's face had grown grave. " Vexed with you," he repeated, " of course not. Why should I be ? At least I am only vexed with you for one thing. I hate all this — I detest it. I only wish you and I had been married months ago ; by this time we should have been away somewhere by our selves with no one to interfere with us. As it is, I never seem to see you now, Cicely ; I don't know how it is ." The sunshine seemed to have crept back again, — a somewhat uncertain, tremulous light, but sunshine for all that. "Dear Trevor," said Cicely softly, "there is not really any change. It is only that I am so much taken up at home, and you have been away so long.

But if you are not vexed with me, it will be all right. Sometimes lately I have fancied I had grown dull and stupid and that you — " She had laid her hand appealingly on Desillusionnee. 23 Trevor's arm, his eyes were looking down upon her with an almost remorseful tender ness, some eager words were on his lips, when a voice beside them — it was Gene vieve's — made both him and Cicely start. " Oh ! Mr. Fawcett," she exclaimed, " I want so much to tell you, ah ! is Cicely already tired ? " with a curious change of tone from the brightness of the first sentence. " I beg your pardon, I knew not that I in terrupted you," she added timidly, making a little movement as if to retire into the back ground. " Interrupt! Nonsense," exclaimed Trevor, laughing. " We have been wondering how you got on with Dangerfield.

Cicely, you must remember which are your dances with me. Ours" to Genevieve, as he passed her, " is the next, you know." "Are you tired, Cicely?" inquired Gene vieve somewhat awkwardly. There was no time for a reply. Up came Lady Frederica, with a gentleman to be Cicely. 24 introduced to Miss Casalis in humble hope of finding she had still a dance to spare, in which he was not disappointed. This happy person was followed by another and yet another, till the vacant spaces on Genevieve's card grow few. Then the music begins again. Cicely catches a glimpse of Trevor's tall figure in the doorway ; another moment, and Genevieve disappears on his arm. " Only the second dance — will the even ing never be over ? " thought Cicely. " Are you not dancing, my dear ? " said Lady Frederica, coming up to her.

" I don't know, at least I forget. I think I am engaged for this dance," replied the girl indifferently. "Oh! yes," consulting her card, "I am engaged to Sir Arthur Vauxley ; but he has not come, for me. I don't care. I would rather not dance. Don't you think it is rather cold, Lady Frederica ? " " Cold, my dear ! " repeated her hostess in astonishment, fanning herself with a Desillusionnec. 25 nearer approach to vigour than she was often in the habit of exerting ; " cold ! Why we are in the greatest alarm that the heat will be insufferable before supper ; we cannot get all the windows open till then. Cold ! You must have got a chill." •' Berhaps I have," said Cicely, shivering a little and drawing back further into her corner. But she was not long allowed to remain there. Sir Arthur found her out and claimed his dance.

Then followed others, for which she was likewise engaged ; the evening began to pass a little more quickly than at first ; two dances more, and there would come her second one with Trevor — a waltz this time. Cicely's eyes brightened and a little colour stole into her checks when at last the inter vening dances were over and the waltz music began. "The 'Zuleika,' " she said to herself, "that is one of Trevor's favourites. I wish he would come ! " Cicely. Her feet beat time to the familiar strains, her eyes turned impatiently towards the doorway in search of the pleasant, fair face of her betrothed — again and again, but in vain. Cicely was only twenty after all ; she could not but own to herself that it was disappointing. "Trevor has a good deal on his hands," she reminded herself however, " and of course he will know it does not matter if he misses one dance with me.

We have two still — one other waltz." So the face was still sweet and unruffled, the eyes guiltless of reproach, when, at the very end of the waltz — when the last notes of the inviting Zuleika were dying away — the laggard partner made his appearance. He looked flushed and discomposed, and evi dently conscious that he deserved a scolding. " I am so sorry, so very sorry," he began. " I was coming here to look for you, but I hadn't got rid of my last partner, and the music began before I expected, and we Disillusion n ee. 27 found ourselves regularly hemmed in. We took a turn to get clear, and then I had to get Ge — , my partner, an ice, and now it is too late ! " " Never mind," said Cicely brightly. " What does it matter ? I have kept two others for you." Trevor looked at her with a curious mix ture of expressions in his face.

" My dear old Cit," he said, reverting to a pet name of long ago, " you are awfully sweet-tem pered." Then a frown gathered over his face. Whose soft voice had whispered in his ear a minute before ? — " Do not please tell my cousin you were just now dancing with me. It might — it might vex her. She thinks sometimes I forget too much I am but a stranger. I would not that she should think I knew this was the waltz you should dance with her." Cicely did not see the frown. She only heard the pleasant words. " Am I ? " she said. " I don't know that it is true, but Cicely. 28 any way I like you to think so. By the bye, how is Genevieve getting on ? I have not seen her for ever so long." " Oh ! she's all right. She's had any number of partners," replied Mr. Fawcett hastily, as he ran off to fulfil his next en gagement — this time probably with some less long-suffering damsel than Miss Meth vyn.

In the doorway he almost knocked over a small man, quietly making his way in. "I beg your pardon," he exclaimed. " Ah ! Hayle, is it you? Why are you so late ? " " I could not come earlier," replied Mr. Hayle. " Is Miss Methvyn here ? " " Yes, in the little drawing-room," said Trevor, as he disappeared. Mi-. Hayle peered about till he caught sight of Cicely. "How late you are, Mr. Hayle!" she exclaimed. " I suppose you don't care about balls though." "Not much. I have hardly any expe- Desillusionnee. 29 rience of them. But I could not come earlier to-night. I have been at Notcotts till half an hour ago," he answered. " Is anything wrong there ? " "No, — this is the evening I have fixed for my class there. That is what I wanted to ask you about. We are rather at a loss for some books. Would you mind letting me look over again some of those you offered me before ?