Miss Blake of Monkshalton

Chapter I. He

pavement was hot, the Avails were hot, the iron railings Avere blistering with the heat. Dust Avas everywhere, covering eA-erything, making the lilac bushes and trees in the garden of Portman Square look grey and parched, although it was still early summer. The Virginian creeper which climbs sadly over so many London houses, was hanging wearily over the hot balcony of No. — , Portman Square, throwing out thirsty tendrils in longing desire after that happy land of fresh air and cooling showers, which it could never reach, but of which it had heard E AIISS BLAKE 2 murmurs from the birds. A faint steamy odour, as of roasting and cooking, floated lazily up from area windoAvs. A dusty uninteresting world, full of sordid people and unsatisfied desires, thought Anne Blake, as she stood under the striped aAvning on the balcony, leaning on the creeper, and ruthlessly crushing its delicate stems Avith her round firm arms.

Behind the muslin curtains, inside the hot drawing-room, were Aunt Jane and Aunt Emma, who, Avith discreetly loAvered voices, Avere discussing something concerning their niece ; for though Anne could not hear their Avords, the tone of the low murmur Avas quite sufficient to make her aware of the drift of their talk, and also that on Aunt Jane's part it Avas, as usual, not favourable to herself. " It's a Avonder to me," Aunt Jane was saying, " where the child has got all her notions from ; our door dear father brought us up so Avisely, he never let us have any new-fangled notions ; Avhat was OF MONKSHALTON. 3 good enough for him was good enough for us, he said, as you know quite Avell, Emma ; and if any of us wanted to do anything out of the way — which, I am thankful to say, I for one never did — he used to say that if Ave must make ourselves the laughing-stock of our neighbours, we must wait till he Avas gone, for as long as he lived he would be master in his own house."

As Aunt Jane paused for breath and glanced triumphantly round the room, as if a once rebellious minded, but now crushed audience were seated there, Aunt Emma gave a gentle sigh, and her knitting fell on to her lap. These reminiscences, which Jane Avas never tired of repeating, Avere full of pain to Emma, for she had thirsted after many forbidden things in her youth ; and though the state of constant repression in which she lived had not embittered her and made her hard and in tolerant, as had been the case with Jane, it had nevertheless worn away her courage and faith, so that when twenty years ago their father died, and B MISS BLAKE 4 with his death freedom had come, Emma found herself a middle-aged Avoman with a mind unable to grasp any definite purpose : even her visions seemed to have faded aAvay, leaving only a vague yearning after some misty glow of unattainable sunlight.

Of course these feelings were carefully concealed from Jane. Knowledge of the existence of this repressed and wasted energy in Emma had indeed no place in Jane's mind ; the elder sister regarded the younger as a person, certainly pos sessing grace and refinement of character and both religious and sweet-natured, but exceedingly weak and unreliable, and, above all things, requiring a guiding hand. To do her justice, Miss Blake had no notion how that guiding hand worried Emma, for most of the more subtle feelings of life were mere "stuff and nonsense " to Jane. Emma had always stood a good deal in awe of her sister, being ten years the younger of the two. She regarded Jane as a perfect standard of ex cellence and greatness, being convinced that her habit of fault-finding arose not only from a deficiency of personal knowledge of, and therefore sympathy with, the weaknesses to which ordinary mortals are prone, but also from a true desire to show them that higher path which she herself trod by nature.

Unconsciously the strain of living with this unswerving pinnacle of excellence was wearing Emma's life and strength away. It Avas as if she felt the constant pressure of Jane's soul near her day by day, gazing even into her inmost depths : and this intangible contact, Avith which no Avords or looks Avere mingled, so powerfully gnawed into her being that she sometimes felt as if life itself were growing weaker and fainter. Sometimes, after an hour of silence, Avith a great effort she left the room, and the relief from cessation of bodily presence brought back the blood to her heart and brain ; but, as time Avent on, the relief grew feebler and the horror stronger, till sometimes for days Jane seemed to be ever there, everywhere — in the street, at her elbow, all around her. And still they loved each other.

Emma did not know why Jane's presence unnerved her, nor Jane why Emma's air of submission irritated her and tinged her words Avith anger. The habit of years Avas so strong, that neither could imagine living without the other, and apart happiness would haA-c seemed a feebler possibility to each. What could they do ? Continue this murderous life together, or live stuntedly and apart ? The ties we find most irksome are often our strongest motive for living if Ave could but know it. " Why don't you answer me, Emma ? You sigh as if I were saying something wrong ; you really seem to take a pleasure in making me feel I've been unkind to that girl." " Dear Jane, as if I don't always think you in the right ! " Avhich remark irritated Jane to the extent of producing an angry sniff, making Emma drop a stitch in her nervousness.

But what was there to say? In her heart of hearts Emma sided with Anne, but how to tell Jane that judiciously Avithout making her angry Emma could not imagine. Much of the wasted energy of her monotonous life was centred in a deep love for her niece, Avho, fourteen years ago, Avhen her parents died, had come to live with her aunts. Anne always found a warm though tactless ally in Aunt Emma. "Why shouldn't the child be content to stay quietly here, instead of gadding about paying visits, I should like to know ? " This was a someAvhat wide statement of Aunt Jane's, seeing that Anne Avas never allowed to pay visits, and if she had been allowed had few friends to visit, for the strict seclusion in which she Avas kept by Miss Blake — ten months of the year at their country house in North Lancashire and two months in Portman Square — necessarily narrowed the number of their acquaintance to a considerable extent.

The " gadding about " here discussed Avas a request made by an old friend living in Bayswater, that Anne should be allowed to dine with her that very evening, accompanied by her two aunts it is true, but to be left behind to spend a few days at her house, to enjoy some of the season's gaieties, of which the poor child had seldom more than a glimpse. "What is it she complains of? She has good food, good clothing — I'm sure that last evening dress of white silk cost enough to satisfy any silly, discontented young Avoman — drives in the park every day, no cares, no responsibilities, AA'hat more can she Avant ? What more did we ever Avant, and why should she ask for what we never asked ? " Another pause and another sigh from Emma, checked as it rose lest Jane should be annoyed by it. " You see, Jane, every one isn't alike, and she hasn't your strength of purpose ; duty cannot always be her ideal, she Avants a little gaiety and brightness." — " How I longed for pleasure at her age !

" she added to herself. — " You see, she's only tAventy, and I do really think she might pay this little visit," she concluded somewhat incoherently, for her courage was rapidly oozing away after this unusually bold opposition on her part to Jane's opinions. " And pray Avhat's the good of it all ? When the visit is paid, she'll only come back here more dis contented than ever ; once open the cage door you can't shut it again ! Well, well, I suppose she must go, or I shall never hear the end of it ; but I must say I never thought it becoming, myself, to want more than one could get," said Jane, in such a clear sharp tone that her last Avords reached Anne's ears as she stood on the hot balcony, gazing discontentedly down the dusty street. "Just like Aunt Jane," she thought; "what a shame it is that I always have to stand alone like this Avith every one against me ; for though dear Aunt Emma tries to take my part, she cannot hold out against Aunt Jane — no one can ; I know that Avoman is sloAvly killing her !

But Avhat can I do ? I don't knoAv hoAV to help her ! If it goes on much longer I shall become petrified, frozen up, or else I shall do something wicked and desperate. Oh, what must I do ? how will it all end ? Very soon Henry will bring in tea, and Ave shall all three eat, and drink, and think just the same as Ave do every day of our lives, Avhen the clock strikes five. If only something would happen to break this horrible suffocating monotony ! Just because Aunt Jane had a tyrannical old father, who never let her do what she liked, why should she revenge herself on me and Aunt Emma, and every one she comes near ? Oh, dear me ! if only I could marry some one, any one, it Avould be better than this life of slow torture. Aunt Emma is old, I do think it is different for her ; but I am young, and I shall die and never have seen anything of this wonderful thrilling world !

" A bitter choking sob rose in her throat. She put up her hand and snapped off a young tendril of the creeper, Avhich Avas Avaving softly in the heavy air, and crushed it in her hot hand. " If only I could crush Aunt Jane so," she thought. She threw the leaves away, and they sank into the dust in the street. Within, a large bluebottle Avas lazily buzzing and thumping against the ceiling, and Emma's fingers were growing hot and tremulous over her knitting. She hated knitting and all kinds of sewing or work, but it irritated Jane to see her idle, she felt sure, so work she must : little knoAving that Jane partly suspected her motive, and at the sight of her heated efforts always experienced a spasm of exasperation flavoured with remorse — the flavouring unfortunately lending a sharper tone to her voice.

It is a sad pity that remorse generally makes people disagreeable. A door decorously closing downstairs, heavy footsteps and a subdued rattle of tea-cups an nounced Henry's approach Avith tea. Anne appeared at the Avindow with smuts from the creeper clinging to her arms, and a look of sullen indifference on her face. " Shall I pour out the tea for you, Jane ? " said Emma, in a deprecatory voice ; " let me, it is so hot and you have been so busy all day, you must be tired." This constant desire on Emma's part to save Jane, virtuous active Jane, from all extra trouble and fatigue, Avas another cause of friction between the sisters. Emma Avas filled Avith a never-ending craving to do something for another human being — any one ; if the washerwoman had been there instead of Jane the desire Avould have been just as strong, indeed perhaps stronger, for a stranger sometimes awakens the feeling of abstract love for humanity in our soul more keenly than kith and kin can do.

All the expression which these waves of love in Emma's helpless soul could find, beyond giving away blankets and coals to the poor people at Monkshalton, was in doing little menial offices for Jane. Besides, it was only right, she thought, that the menial side of their life should be done by her, the feebler partner, for Jane, she loved to think, represented the better part. Jane Avas always irritated at this assumption of fatigue on her part ; to admit she felt tired Avas ignoble, therefore, however prostrate she might feel, Emma's words invariably acted like a sudden stimulant, stringing her up to the most energetic action. Her better feelings, too, made her dislike to see Emma assume this humble role ; it Avas unfair to Emma, she felt, as Avell as humiliating to herself. " Certainly not, thank you, Emma, I am not in the least tired ; Avhy should I be ? and even if I Avere, Avhy should you fatigue yourself with doing my duties for me ?

" She would have indeed con sidered it most improper to allow the younger sister to pour out tea, even on the most private occasion. " But, my dear Anne," she continued, "how is it you are so hot and flushed ? Pray remember the dinner-party to which you are going to-night. If there is one thing I dislike to see, it is a young lady looking hot and sunburnt like a milkmaid." " What will it matter how I look to-night ? No one Avill care, no one will look at me or think about me. I know exactly what it will all be like. Sir James will be there, and Avill take you in, Aunt Jane, or else Mr. Taylor will, and old Forbes Aunt Emma, and " " And how often must I beg of you not to call Colonel Forbes ' old Forbes ' ? I really wish you had more delicacy of feeling and language." But Anne for once Avas not to be checked, and with her mouth full of toast, continued eagerly, " And I shall go in Avith young Forbes, Bernard — at least you call him young, /call him middle-aged — I know you Avant me to marry him, Aunt Jane."

" My dear," exclaimed Emma, perfectly aghast at Anne's boldness and indecorum — Jane Avas speechless — " how can you speak so to your Aunt Jane ? you know she doesn't approve of such things at all ; she doesn't think them nice, and of course I do not either," she loyally added, her agitation causing confusion in her mind as to what exactly Avere the things Avhich Jane did not con sider nice. Anne eagerly took advantage of this. " Do you mean, Aunt Emma, that you and Aunt Jane don't approve of people marrying ? Of course I think it's generally a great mistake ; but then it's better than nothing — better than droning aAvay at home all your life, for a married woman can at least do as she likes. I certainly mean to marry, and I shall have everything my own Avay." But here Jane's wrath was poured out on Anne's head in a torrent of stern rebuke Avhich reduced even that bold young lady to a state of quiet limp ness, and increased still more Emma's nervous depression.

Silence came at last, and the bluebottle could again make his melancholy thumping and buzzing audible. Outside in the misty sunshine carriages rolled past, the cheerful ring of the horses' hoofs and the occasional jingle of bells on their necks making the heavy silence Avithin the stately drawing-room seem more and more unbearable to poor Anne. A coach drove past, gaily blowing its horn, a brilliant type of happiness and dissipation. It Avas too much ; she hastily took up a book, and, putting her singers in her ears to drown all these unendurably pleasant sounds, began to read diligently. But it Avas useless ; she could not understand anything she read, for the thought of Aunt Jane and her tyranny, her continual snubbing and putting doAvn of every one round her, filled and overflowed her mind.

She put the book down and listened again to the carriages. " If Aunt Jane died how happy Ave tAvo, Aunt Emma and I, should be," Avas the thought Avhich gradually shaped itself in her brain Avith startling distinctness. It was an old thought, and she was used to it, but somehow to-day the buzzing of the fly and the hot heavy air outside made it take stronger and more definite shape than usual. As she looked at the spindle-legged chairs, at the tall cabinets with glass doors full of precious china, at the old-fashioned engravings on the walls, she seemed to see on everything the words, " if only she Avould die." She dared not meet Jane's eye at last, for she felt sure the dreadful words must be written on her face and Jane Avould surely see them. She got up, and sat dow-n close to the open AvindoAv, but still the thought followed her, and even the bluebottle seemed to be humming it.

Jane must know what he was saying, she must know why she Avas so restless. She could bear it no longer ; at all costs she must break this dreadful spell which was binding her, and pushing back her chair, she rushed to the door and upstairs to her room, hearing, as she did so, a shocked chorus of exclamations on the impropriety of such rapidity of movement in a Avell-brought-up young lady. As she ran up the staircase a gloom seemed to follow her and close round her, and her ears were full of the sound of the words, " Death — Aunt Jane's death." She flung her window open, and c sat looking at the wide vista of roofs and red chimneys ; but even up here the hazy air Avas full of sultry thoughts, and Aunt Jane's hard face seemed to be pressing against the windoAV-pane looking at her Avith a cold smile.

" Go where I will she follows me, and my wicked thoughts follow me — this dreary house is full of shapes and sighs and horrible thoughts. All Aunt Jane's people must have been gloomy and hard ; and noAV the very walls, even the chairs and tables, are full of their hardness and misery : I can never escape from it all — never ! Thank Heaven Aunt Jane is the last of them ; but woe, Avoe to Aunt Emma and me, Avho have to live with her, and whose lives she is grinding away ! Poor Aunt Emma is sinking into silent despair, and I into madness or wickedness, or both ! " Resting her chin on her hands, she gazed drearily at the roofs, trying to shape impossible plans for escape. She thought over all the people she knew ; could any of them help her? At Monkshalton their nearest neighbours, the Forbes, lived two or three miles away, and all their other acquaintances much farther, so that the distance, combined with Miss Blake's usual mental attitude of severity towards mankind in general, had reduced their intercourse with the other county families to stately calls exchanged at proper intervals, and in the summer-time occasional flower and vegetable shows, when Jane, together with the other elderly magnates of the district, distributed prizes, and Anne was only allowed to Avalk sadly and silently about under her aunt's all-shadowing wing.

How often had she cried in secret over the invitations to balls which Avere always refused, for Jane did not like late hours, and of course Avould not allow Anne to go to such affairs under any other chaperonagc than her own. "And it's just the same here in London," murmured the poor child to herself. " If it A\-asn't for my singing lessons Avhen Ave are up here, and for my rides with Bernard Forbes Avhen Ave are at C MISS BLAKE OF AIONKSHALTON. 20 Monkshalton, I should have committed suicide long ago," she concluded, with that youthful scorn of life and belief in our ability to end it at any moment, which is so rapidly destroyed with advancing years. At least age teaches us the futility of such a philosophy, which (to my mind) belongs along with other unhappiness to that much praised period Ave call youth — the period surely when we are most burdened Avith a sense of our age, and of the responsibility of living.

Chapter II

S the clock was striking eight Anne came slowly down the staircase, clad in soft i | creamy silk which fell in graceful lines around her tall, slim figure, thinking that, after all, a dinner party was something not to be despised — that an evening with "young Forbes" was better than one with Aunt Jane. As she passed Aunt Emma's door it opened, and Emma came out with an expression of restrained excitement on her face. " Your Aunt Jane has got one of her dreadful headaches and cannot go out this evening ; you and I must go alone. But it doesn't seem the right thing somehow for me to go out without her ; I never do such a thing. Perhaps I had better stay at home Avith her," she added, in a slightly questioning tone, and evidently wishing to be contradicted. Joy leapt into Anne's heart. Something nice must surely be going to happen at Mrs. Taylor's since Jane would not be there to freeze up all pleasure.

" Stay behind — what nonsense, Aunt Emma ! Why, we shall have all the more fun, you and I by ourselves ; and she Avon't mind being left behind, for I sometimes believe we Avorry her nearly as much as she worries us ; at least, I know I do." " My dear," said Emma remonstratingly, "don't speak unkindly of dear Jane, especially since she has given leave for you to visit Mrs. Taylor till Friday. I have just told Coates to folloAV us to Bayswater to-night Avith your things, so you will find her Avaiting for you Avhen you go upstairs to bed. I told her to be sure and pack up your prettiest dresses," she added, looking tenderly at Anne's eager face, which was now crimson with excitement at her news. "Aunt Emma — dear Aunt Emma, do you really, really mean it ? It can't be true ; you must have misunderstood Aunt Jane.

You knoAv I never am allowed to pay visits by myself — never ! " Henry's solemn voice at her elboAv, announcing that the carriage Avas at the door, stopped any further questioning on her part, and debate on Emma's concerning the propriety of going out to dinner without Jane ; for whatever happened, Jenkins must not be kept waiting, so Avithout more words the two ladies drove away. There was a striking contrast between the two figures sitting side by side in the heavy old fashioned carriage draAvn by its pair of solemn paced bays, yet both touched you alike Avith a feeling of pathos. Emma's thin face Avith its mild grey eyes, the wistful lines round her gentle mouth, her broAvn hair streaked with white, Avhich she wore in little old-fashioned curls fastened down on her temples by small side-combs, all bore the impress of an ever-increasing melancholy.

You somehowfelt sure, as you looked at her, that she had never known the greatness and beauty of life, and now Avas becoming dimly conscious that in the little portion of it left to her, her soul was not widening towards the vast sea of eternity, but Avas sloAvly narrowing and suffocating within the Avails of its prison-house — those intolerable walls of inherited circumstance — which she was too feeble to break down. Anne, sitting erect and eager, her blue eyes looking dark with joyous excitement, and her hands folded tightly on her knee, Avas full of the most delightful anticipation of the evening's happiness ; and her look of assured belief in this happiness in store for her, A\-as as pathetic in its way as was Emma's despondency. How delightful it Avas, thought Anne, that to day was only Tuesday, and what unheard of, unprecedented joy, that she should have two whole days and a half, almost three days, at Mrs. Taylor's !

It was true she did not know Mrs. Taylor intimately, but she had known her most of her life, and Avas not at all afraid of either her or Mr. Taylor, a kindly hearted though rather irascible old gentleman, much afflicted with gout. They had no children, which was an acknowledged sorrow to them both, and Mrs. Taylor often told the Blakes how much she envied them their possession of such a pretty and charming niece as Anne. Many were the invitations which they had sent Anne to stay with them both in London and on their Scotch moor, but hitherto they had been all refused on the ground that Anne was not old enough to be allowed such gaiety. No wonder then that she sat smiling to herself, and pitying the passers-by in the street who were not going to such a delightful dinner party as she w-as. But an anxious thought was troubling Emma, ruffling her forehead into lines as she slowdy buttoned her gloves.

Should she let herself be announced as Miss Blake instead of Miss Emma Blake? She preferred the first, for it would increase the guilty feeling of freedom Avhich Jane's absence created, and yet could she, Avould she, when the trying moment arrived, behaA-e Avith suitable coolness and dignity? Before the weighty question Avas decided, the carriage drew up at the Taylors' door. The butler, blind to Emma's nervous tremors, took the law into his OAvn hands, and announced in a ringing voice " Miss Blake." The room swam before her eyes at the unaccustomed name, as she Avalked across the large drawing-room. The rays of the setting sun were streaming in through the Avindows and fell on her sweet thin face with its pretty look of timid dignity, her inward excitement adding light to her grey eyes and a slight flush to her cheeks.

" Why, I neA'er thought Emma Blake could look so AA'ell — she looks nearly as pretty as her niece," thought old Sir James Haughton, who Avas hungrily watching the company arrive, and wondering whether "Taylor Avould have his best port out to-night or his second best." The arrival of an old clergyman with a cheery red face decided that matter satisfactorily. " Thank heaven here's Dr. Ridsley, so Ave shall have the '47 port," he murmured ; and, settling his waistcoat and collar, with a contented air he walked across the room to Avhere Emma Avas standing by Anne. Anne Blake Avas a strikingly pretty girl, though Avhen you came to examine her face in detail it was difficult to say where the charm exactly lay. I think it was chiefly in the lovely contour of her head and neck, and in the beauty of her eyes, which to-night were brilliant Avith eagerness.

The graceful lines of her figure were accentuated by her style of dress. She never Avore tight tailor made costumes, partly from an innate artistic per ception of their vulgarity, and partly from a dislike to be reduced to the mere counterpart of every other young lady in the room. To-night she Avas looking prettier than ever, for her face Avas shining with happy expectancy of the something nice which must surely happen. " I am to have the pleasure of taking you in to dinner, Miss Emma," said Sir James Avith a gallant bow. Emma's spirits rose still higher — she then was to be the object of his attentions. She felt rather flustered and anxious, and gave her pretty old lace cap a hurried pat, and the folds of her soft grey satin gown a hasty smooth down. " I hope he will find me pleasant to talk to," she thought ; " but if I cannot talk like Jane, I can at least listen."

They sailed in to dinner, and as Emma nervously settled herself into her place, she wondered whether she ought to begin the conversation, or wait for Sir James to do it ; Avhich did Jane do ? However, her fears soon fled, for Jane's absence, she found, took a weight off her mind. No one could make unpleasant comparisons between them this evening she felt, and there Avas no fear of severe criticism when she got home : for once she might let herself go. Sir James Avas astonished ; was this the little nervous, silent Miss Emma, this sprightly sympathetic woman Avith a pink flush on her cheeks, and pretty grey eyes ! His portly mind unbent itself, and he became less pompous than Avhen Jane's critical eye was upon him. With Jane, he always felt he must act up to his highest intellectual level, and the strain Avas not pleasant, particularly Avith one of Mrs. Taylor's good dinners claiming his attention.

To-night he could both talk and eat Avithout restraint, and his flow of gallant speeches increased to such an extent, that Miss Emma felt quite nervous, and began tremblingly to Avonder Avhat she should or could say, and what Jane would say, if he Avere to propose to her ! What a free, gay world it was to-night, spiced with a delightful dash of wickedness ! " Don't take that champagne, Miss Emma — take the other ; ladies always like it SAveet, you know ; now it never can be too dry for me. 'Gad ! I'm glad that old churchman's here, it's made Taylor get out his best Avine. It's not often you'll drink such port as his." MISS BLAKE 30 "I'm afraid I don't knoAv much about Avine ; it generally gets a little into my head," said Miss Emma gently. "You're quite right," said Sir James, Avith a benevolent smile of approval at Miss Emma's feminine inferiority.