Mary Myles: a study

Front matter

Whoe'er she be, That not impossible she That shall command my heart and me; Where'er she lie Locked up from mortal eye, In shady leaves of Destiny ; Till that ripe birth Of studied Fate stand forth, And teach her fair steps tread our Earth ; Till that divine Idea, take a shrine Oi crystal flesh, through which to shine ; Meet you her, my wishes, Bespeak her to my blisses, And be ye called, my absent kisses. Richard Ckashaw. a stubg BY MRS EDMONDS I AUTHOR OF " Fair Athens " " Hesperas " " Greek Lays " IN TWO VOLUMES VOL I LONDON REMINGTON & CO PUBLISHERS HENRIETTA STREET COVENT GARDEN 1888 [All Rights [Reserved] TO MY HUSBAND, AT WHOSE REQUEST IT WAS WRITTEN, THIS STORY IS DEDICATED. CONTENTS. chap. PAGE Introductory Chapter — Nausikaa ... i I. Mrs. Hazelhurst's Governess ... ... 7 II. Modern Hamadryad ... ... ... 30 III.

The Cousins ... ... ... ... 47 IV. At the Chestnuts 60 V. A Bunch of Harebells, and what came of it 77 VI. Could it be possible ? ... ... ... 95 VII. Misapprehensions... ... ... ... 107 VIII. Dr. Grantham's Illness 122 IX. In a Garden ... ... ... ... 142 X. First Love 174 XL Retrospection 189 XII. Mrs. Langridge is Indignant ... ... 202 XIII. The Parting 237 XIV. A Dull Dinner Party 255 XV. A Night's Sorrow 264 XVI. Herbert Langridge leaves Sunnyside ... INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER. Tta.tra.uiv 5' virep r/ye Kapij e\€i V&* p-irtaira. Peta 6* aptyi'wra ireAerat, KaAat 8e re n-acrat. 'si? Tjy* a^^t7r6Aoio-i irapOzvos aSjUTjtr. 'OSucrcreia. Two friends were strolling by the banks of the Cam in the pleasant garden of Trinity. The one was the great classical authority of whom Oxford was so justly proud ; a man withal of a goodly presence to whose commanding figure was joined a face the thoughtful intel ligence of which was tempered by a kind and genial expression, and if over his head some fifty years might possibly have already passed, they had left no trace of any abiding cares by which to mark their course.

The other, although nearly two years youuger, was spare in person and rather bent, not VOL. I. B certainly from his age, which was but forty or thereabouts, but from a habit of stooping contracted in his youth ; but his friend would sometimes assert with all the warmth of a son devoted to the Alma Mater of his choice that the dominant studies of the colleges by the Isis were more health-pre serving than those which obtained the pre ference at the sister university, in evidence of which he deduced his own portly and erect figure in contradistinction to the lean habit of body, and the drooping shoulders of the abstruse mathematician. Very seldom could a few hours pass in the scanty oppor tunities afforded them of social intercourse without a lively discussion upon the superior merits of the venerable institutions to which each was loyally pledged.

Chapter I

Whan shaws been sheene and shraddes frill fayre, And leaves both large and longe, It's merrye walking in the fayre forrest To heare the small birdes songe. Old Bailad. Things such as these are ever harbingers To trains of peaceful images .... A linnet starting all about the bushes ; A butterfly with golden wing broad parted Nestling a rose. Keats. A lofty room, flooded with sunshine and redolent with the perfume of fresh flowers, books, the best of all possible garnitures, piled on the tables and smiling on the walls from every recess, drawings, musical instru ments, and for a central figure a woman of surpassing grace of form, whose bright and lofty beauty was tempered by the almost singular contrast of garments severe even to rigidity, made altogether a picture which would have arrested the most commonplace beholder.

The genius of the place, who had cast the glamour of her personality on every item of this spot, appropriated to study, was now resting her elbows upon a table with folded hands, and looking athwart the volumes thereon, was gazing dreamily into the garden whence came floating through the open French windows the clear jubilant notes of a blackbird, which seemed as if his very soul must burst from excess of joy; in that within the heart of that same thick-leaved thorn tree were his well-fledged offspring beating their open wings with impatience for their first flight. Something very like dew drops glistened in those fine grey eyes, although Mary Myles had left the impression able age of eighteen behind her some seven years since ; albeit, tears were ready to start at the sound of a blackbird's note, which was, indeed, like a trumpet note of recall, but brought back memories only.

The lapse of nearly eight summers which bridged over the gap between girlhood and womanhood might possibly have infringed somewhat upon the first freshness of her cheek, but if Burke is right when he defines this epoch in a woman's life as one in which if some of the bloom tints have faded, the loss is amply compensated by a look of refined sensibility, such a result was visible in a marked degree in the countenance of Mary Myles. It was an eminently beautiful face, but somehow it did not always at once strike the beholder as being so. Critical observers, who also possessed a feeling for the highest forms of Art, would pause to consider what it was that exercised almost a magnetic influence over them when they found themselves arrested in the contemplation of that unique figure occupying some shadowy corner in Mrs. Hazelhurst's drawing-room at her frequent receptions.

If they were ladies and amiably disposed, they would compliment the hostess upon her taste aud perception in having secured for her governess one who possessed the unusual combination of learning with grace of person, summing up their com mendations with the moderate praise of, " What a very interesting face ! " Those of the masculine gender, on the contrary, after the first almost startled look of surprise, would give a second glance somewhat stealthily to assure themselves of the actual presence of the highest type of womanly beauty so unexpectedly brought before them, and would be silent, as the deepest convictions are ever slow to utter themselves. Whenever some leader of thought, some college don or literary giant was invited, Mrs. Hazelhurst, out of the very kindness of her heart, would inwardly rejoice that she had ready at hand the very commodity that was needed ; for Mrs Hazelhurst fell into the error of believing that a superior woman would be required for the solace of a superior man, and was quite oblivious of the fact that, as a rule, learned men prefer to refresh them selves with the society of their feminine opposites rather than to be paired with the best tripos, medallist, or wrangler Girton or Newnham may ever produce.

Upon these occasions Mrs. Hazelhurst would manage to convey in whispers to the great man who was about to meet Miss Myles for tbe first time, what was in store for him, all unwitting of the sinking at his heart occasioned by her words. The mental friction thereby induced, however, seldom lasted until the dining-room door was reached, for he would quickly discover that the lady consigned to him, although reported to be from Girton, had a slight, elegant, and graceful figure,. and if he had an eye for Art he would realize that her garments were singularly simple and flowing, and markedly free from all meretri cious ornamentation. Beings encouraged to pursue his investigations, he, too, would soon perceive that she had a very interesting face, if he did not go further, and pronounce it beautiful, and in less than ten minutes he would, moreover, congratulate himself on the fact that she had a very mellow and thrill ingly sweet voice, and whatever there might be behind, at any rate she was not learned in discourse.

The result of such preliminary observation having successfully cleared the air, the pro fessor who possessed some pet theory which he was desirous of airing, would inwardly rejoice that he had at last met with a highly cultivated woman, who had no theories of her own, or who, at least, was not voluble upon them. Here, he might be imagined as reflect ing, was a feminine intellect which was capable of understanding and appreciating him. The evident satisfaction to be derived from the receptivity of this superior feminine mind was not diminished by the consideration that it was accompanied by a face fair enough in its bare outline to challenge any criticism, whilst at the same time there was a something be hind which seemed to defy the power of the analyst. What was that subtle charm ? more than one wise one had asked himself.

Where lay that power of attraction which that quiet aspect, and those calm grey eyes appeared to veil ? Mrs. Hazelhurst had observed with some astonishment, not unmixed with pleasure, that her dear old friend, the wise, wealthy, learned, and good Dr. Grantham, behind whose name in print tripped some dozen or more letters of the alphabet, and whose eyes had always beamed upon Miss Myles with fatherly in terest, whilst his manners had always shown the most marked courtesy, was at last gradually throwing off this attitude of formal respect, and was assuming one at once more familiar and tender. She remembered upon his first introduction to her governess what an earnest and inquiring look was that which he had bent upon her, and how vivid was her blush as he said, " We have surely met before?"

She had noticed lately that his voice would drop almost to a confidential whisper whenever opportunity brought him to take a seat by Miss Myles's side. How annoying it was that upon the two last occasions of a visit from him the lady iu question had made some excuse for retiring early ! To her absence from the drawing room she had attributed the sudden collapse of Dr. Grantham, who had been previously unusually animated, and who afterwards re mained in his customary dignified reserve for the rest of the evening-. " I do not think," said Mrs. Hazelhurst to herself this very morning as she was closing a note to this same worthy friend of hers, " I do not think that there could possibly be a more suitable wife for him. She will never rub against any of his angles, and though they are imperceptible to most people, yet I know that he has angles," and Mrs. Hazel hurst smiled at her own concealed jest on the rather corpulent don.

Mrs. Hazelhurst paused as she was placing this in its envelope. " I wonder that she did not marry six or seven years ago," she again soliloquized, and with almost a feeling of pity. "She must have been very pretty — very pretty; but I suppose that she was always too quiet to take the fancy of a young man, too quiet, too fond of study, perhaps, or a thought too cold. Young men like girls with sprightliness and vivacity, with something in them, but when middle-aged and elderly men con template matrimony, too lively a companion might entail many inconveniences. Advancing years require repose, and those grey eyes of hers are a promise of long life to any old bachelor who will trust himself to their influence," and Mrs. Hazelhurst smiled again over her own thoughts as she closed the envelope. " I shall be very sorry to lose her, certainly, but it will be a real benefit to both concerned when Miss Myles becomes Mrs. Grantham."

A laughing girl in the bloom of early maidenhood burst into the room at this juncture, and threw her arms impetuously around her mother's neck, crying — ■ " Largess ! largess ! " " What now, you madcap darling ? " said Mrs. Hazelhurst, fondly regarding her daughter's glowing face as she gently un wound her arms, and held her off with a hand on each of her shoulders. " I thought my Helen was deeply immersed in her studies, and that I was at least safe from one of her irruptions for an hour or two. What is it that brings you hither ? What new indul gence do you claim ?" " Ah ! you will never guess. But I will not keep you iu suspense. Herbert is coming." " Herbert ? " "Yes, Herbert — that dear boy, Herbert. Now, are you not as glad as I am, and must I not have a holiday ? " " Herbert coming at last !

Yes, I am glad, very glad." Mrs. Hazelhurst stooped to kiss Helen on her cheek, and her own face suddenly over spread with a colour almost as bright as her daughter's. " See, dearest mother, here is a pretty little note enclosed for you ; but cousin Herbert has owed me a letter a long while, and so you will not mind his writing to me to announce his coming, will you ? And I may have a holiday ? It would be utterly impossible to read those dry things Miss Myles is so fond of, with Herbert expected to arrive every moment. To-morrow I shall be more reasonable." "As usual," laughed her mother. "But quiet, quiet ; let me read the short note the clear boy has vouchsafed me, and kiss your thanks when I have granted your request." As Mrs. Hazelhurst ran her eyes over the few lines her countenance brightened more and more.

" Dear fellow," she said, half to herself; " no son could write more lovingly." Then turning to her daughter, " Go, darling," she cried, gaily, " and tell Miss Myles that she is freed to-day from her troublesome pupil, and be ready to go with me in half-an-hour. We will drive to the station to meet him. Your aunt is good enough to let us have him for three whole weeks. He has been studying hard, and needs a change. It shall not be our fault, shall it, pussy " — and the mother pinched Helen's firm, rosy cheeks — " if he does not enjoy himself?" Helen Hazelhurst clapped her hands in boisterous delight, and sped swiftly on the light feet of fifteen to the room where Miss Myles was still leaning upon her elbows and the blackbird was still piping on the tree. " He is coming — he is coming — this very, very day !

We are off to the station to meet him, and you, too, have a holiday ; " and the pupil with unrepressed affection kissed her governess warmly. "Who is coming?" said Miss Myles, smiling, as she took a hand of Helen's in each of her own, and looked in her face intently. "Why, my half-cousin, Herbert, whom I have not seen for four years. It really is too bad, for he is a real brother to me. You have often heard me speak of Herbert Langridge, and what a dear, good, darling boy he is." " Oh, yes ; I have often listened with great pleasure to your warm praises of your cousin. But, of course, he's not a darling boy now, is he ? I thought that he was about to study for the Bar, so he caunot be exactly a boy." " Well, I believe that he is just turned twenty ; he is four years older than I am. And when he was here last he did every thing that I asked him to do ; and I do not think that he has changed one bit by his letter to me, for he says he is looking forward to a return of the old days together.

Not," said Helen, laughing, " that I shall expect he will go fishing for tadpoles, or swing in the same swing, nor shall I be so wicked as to ask him to climb and rob a nest of one of its eggs for my collection. Times have changed ; " and Helen gaily tossed her head. C VOL. I. " But sixteen is rather beyond the age when a boy fresh from Harrow usually fishes for tadpoles, is it not?" said Miss Myles, turning her clear grey eyes full upon Helen's beaming face with an amused look. " You dou't understand, you prim old dear. Of course he only did it to please his little cousin, because, you see, he has no sister, and he is devoted to me whenever he has had the chance of getting here. I shall get him to tame that wild pony of mine. We shall ride out together every day. Will it not be glorious ?

But I am only thinking of myself. Dear Miss Myles, what will you do ? You will not pore over books whilst I—" Helen paused. " Helen, I have been listening to a blackbird till I am thoroughly unhinged. It brought back my old home so vividly that I seem to be fit for nothing but idleness and dreams. It is well that I am free to indulge them, or you would have found me tripping for once." A gay peal of laughter at the bare sugges tion of her governess being at fault rang out from Helen as she bounded from the room. Half-an-hour later Mrs. Hazelhurst and Helen were driving to the station. As the sounds of the carriage wheels died away, Miss Myles, who had stood at her chamber window waving her hand as long as they were in sight, closed the casement and threw herself into a chair. " Free ! " she said, drawing in a long breath, " Free !

" and as if to realize what the full sense of freedom meant to her she took out the comb round which her thick coils of hair were gathered and shook them down somewhat impatiently. As the masses of rich wavy brown hair, which was usually held iu the most rigid subjection, were loosened they tumbled in bright ripples over her shoulders. But this did not appear quite to content the physical longings within her. These only appeared satisfied when she thrust her bared feet (and what feet they were) into the prettiest of velvet shoes, and then she laughed — yes, laughed outright — with as joyous a laugh as if she were barely sixteen instead of nearly six-and-twenty. She then flung off her stiff white collar and cuffs, and taking a book from her shelves opened the door and listened. A strange preparation for an outing.

" Prim ? " she said, interrogatively, as she glanced at herself in passing the mirror ; "but perhaps I had better take hat and wrap as a precaution and protection in case of a surprise." Another subdued but musical laugh escaped her. " There, now, I shall be all right whatever may betide," she said, as she hung her straw hat over her arm by its strings. Opening the door again, she stood listening as if irresolute. " There is no one about — no one will see me," she half-whispered, and running swiftly down the stairs she passed out of a side-door into a winding and shaded path which led out of the garden into some shrubberies, the appearance of which showed that it was seldom trodden. Arriving at the little wicket gate which ter minated it she reached the wild and pic turesque slopes, dotted with clumps of trees and interspersed with brushwood and bracken, in the intervening spaces of which flourished a succession of wild plants from the wind flowers of breezy March to the joy-givinf little eyebrights and harebells that now flecked the ground with their delicate em broideries.

As the gate swung behind her, the thorough sense of unrestrained freedom brought a rush of colour to her cheek and a brightness to her eye. As she shook back her waves of hair with the unconscious action of a young colt, which, tossing its mane, careers, in nocent of bit and bridle, over the fresh pastures, she was transformed at once from a staid governess into a beautiful young woman abounding iu health and spirits, to whom all conventional shackles were con stitutionally hateful; but as the well-bred colt under training bears the curb and obeys its rider with a proud grace and dignified meekness unknown to, aud impossible to be attained by the mere col), so this young woman, bowing to the yoke of circumstance, could hold her high spirit in subjection with a power unattainable by the undisciplined.

She no longer walked, but bounded along in the intensity of her joyous happiness, her little white feet iu their ruby-velvet shoes gleaming on the bright dew-besprinkled turf. A clump of large chestnut trees which grew on a slight mound was the point whither her light footsteps tended. Their large arms offered ample shade from the sun, which was already high in the heavens, but the branches were not too close to prevent some rays from permeating their foliage, but allowed them to flicker and gambol on the tufted grass beneath, where they toyed first with one flower and then with another, hanging golden chains on each by turns, whilst they shifted ever and anon with the waving shadows, which the lighter boughs bore with them as they were swayed to and fro by the freshen ing breeze. " Here I am safe from all intrusion," cried the governess, as she reached the knoll ; " no one ever comes here.

No one seems to care for all this," and her kindled eyes swept eagerly over the landscape before her. "Alone with you — alone with you once more ! " and she stretched out her arms to the sky, to the trees, to the brightly-glowing noonday sun, as though she and they were in accord, as though they were sentient creatures whom she loved and they knew it. Her cry of joy, however, was hushed on a sudden, and was almost merged into one of pain as her glance fell upon the ruddy velvet shoes, which were saturated with the heavy dews of the morning. Some tufts of the shade-loving wood-sorrel, peering out of the long grass, had tempted her to leave the path. She had gathered some of the umbels, which, touched by the sun's rays, were already drooping in her belt. What trifles are those which habitually disturb our serenity and cloud our brightest moments — a pair of soiled shoes, a fading flower !

The buoyant cheerfulness, the ecstasy of a few moments since, fled before them. The shoes were Helen's gift, and the flowers — Why had she plucked them ? Was it not a plant rarely found in that neighbourhood and sparse any where ? Why had she plucked them ? They were withering already, and they had not fulfilled their appointed task. In her eager glee, like a thoughtless child, she had gathered them all, aud had left no pods to ripen and cast their seeds for the wistful earth to nurse and cherish. Why had she plucked them all ? Was gladness always selfish ? Subdued in feeling, she slipped off Helen's pretty embroidered gifts, and laid them iu the sun to dry, and, sitting down at the foot of her most favourite tree, leaned against its trunk. The " Blessed Damozel," that ex quisitely mystic poem of Rossetti's, which always chained her fancy, will not be looked at to-day.

Some thoughts are for the moment in the ascendency, which are no longer in ac cord with the landscape, nor the golden sun shine, not to be gladdened at the long-armed, full-leaved chestnut trees, nor the thin-stalked harebells growing in such profusion at their base; but they are troublous thoughts which are now uppermost, whose advent is marked by a faint little streak between the brows — thoughts full of some shadowy care, which had brought tears into her eyes as she heard the blackbird, which, in far-advanced July, was celebrating in jubilant song the unwonted blessing of a second brood, which his faithful mate had just given him in consolation for the tragical end of the little fledgelings of treacherous April. It must surely have been that letter which the morning post had brought her, and which she read again and again whilst the bright bird was pouring out his very heart in her ears, and which was nevertheless forgotten at the very first whisper of the possibility of a whole morn ing's communion with Nature, but had now come back to her remembrance at the sight of those delicate wild flowers dying in her girdle, and with the suggestions of future cares and responsibilities which its contents offered to her as a prize worthy of her acceptance, had dimmed that serenity which was one of her greatest attractions.

At this moment a large scarlet Admiral moth came fluttering towards her. It hovered over her head for some seconds as if to claim her attention, as though it had a message to deliver, and the faint line between the brows faded away when at once, as if it were a creature of thought, it gaily circled round her with renewed and more lively movements in its gorgeous wings, and finally poised itself, as if for a noontide rest, upon the uppermost of the two bare feet that lay crossed on the dry herbage. It was enough. A smile illumined her whole face, and at the sight of the trusting, lovely little creature, which, with folded wings, was now sleeping on her instep, all disquieting speculations as to a choice in life vanished in a trice. By degrees a delicious drowsiness stole over her and the lids gradually veiled the eyes that dwelt with fondness on the friendly insect, Rossetti slid from her ungloved hands, her head drooped, and she also slept.

Some ten minutes might have elapsed when a very young man, tall and handsome, with a frame well and strongly knit together, flung himself, portmanteau in hand, over the ha-ha fence some half a mile distant, and walked rapidly along the woodland path leading to the clump of chestnut trees. " The place is looking somewhat wilder than heretofore, and the path is almost over grown," he said, half aloud. " This is what gardeners abhor as a rule : a real living bit of Nature, a wilderness, a desert, as they say. However, I shall remember the way to the house when I get to those old chestnuts, for of course they are not cut down ; my aunt is not so infatuated as to allow Stevenson to do that, Goth as he is. Ah, here they are," he exclaimed aloud as, emerging from some thick underwood, he came suddenly upon them.

" How grand they look ! but shade of Theo critus ! a wood-nymph sleeping under their shadows ! " Herbert Langridge stopped bewildered, and for a moment or two paused irresolutely, debating whether he should proceed or retrace his steps. It seemed as though he were really an intruder into some sacred precinct; but, second thoughts prevailing, he went forward, treading, however, more slowly, and even on tiptoe, so that he might be able to pass on without awakening the sleeper. There were fragments of dead boughs strewn all about which the winds of March in their anger had torn off, and which, dry and brittle as they were, crunched and crackled under his feet, trod he ever so carefully. Who could wonder, too, that as he drew nearer he turned his head in passing to take a second look at so unwonted a sight as a woman, young and fair (for that he saw at once the sleeper undoubtedly was), sleeping at midday in a lonely place under a tree with uncovered head and flowing hair, and — yes, there was no mistake — bare feet ; and what feet !

Had they been the ordinary kind of feet which girls sometimes display on the sands at a neighbouring; foreign watering place, it is more than probable, that, averting his gaze with disgust, Herbert would have hastened on with no very kindly thoughts to their possessor for revealing them. But those feet were as white and as perfect iu form as if just cut from the marble in days gone by, when the deforming fashion of high heels and other atrocious feet-coverings of the same class were unknown. Herbert Langridge was as modest as any maiden ; but he could not choose but look. Certain is it, too, that at this juncture the graceful form, the uncommon type of face, as well as those statuesque little feet, so startled him that for a moment he forgot his precautions, and treading inadvertently upon a withered bough it snapped with so sharp a report that the sleeper slowly opened her eyes and fixed them, as if in calm unconsciousness, on the face of the young man who was so steadfastly regarding her.

As their eyes met thus involuntarily Herbert felt a chill shiver run through him as the blood rushed to his face and brow. Hastily averting his head, without raising his hat, and with the faint hope that the wood-nymph, or cousin, or what ever reality the vision might afterwards assume, might think after all that she had been unobserved, he strode hurriedly and rapidly on. Miss Myles, so suddenly awakened, forgot for some moments her loosened hair and un clothed feet. When this double conscious ness arose within her she hastily gathered up her tresses into a knot and thrust her feet into the now dry slippers. As she drew her hat carefully over her brows, she for the first time turned her head in the direction which the stranger who had intruded upon her had taken. As her eyes followed the stalwart figure of the young man retreating in the distance, the fact that he must be the Herbert Langridge whose expected coming Helen had announced that morning was self evident.