Oliver Twist ... With eight illustrations, by D. H. Friston

Front matter

nsoapxj-E's edition. DICKS' ENGUSH NOVELS. Complete, from the Original Edition.— Eight Illustrations LONDON: JOHN DICKS, 313, STKAND. PRICE SIXPENCE s THE GREAT MEDICINE. It gives Instant relies in HEADACHE, SEA or BILIOUS SICK- NESS, CONSTIPATION, INDIGESTION, LASSITUDE, lOW SPIRITS, HEARTBURN, and FEVERISH COLDS ; prevents and quickly relieves or cures the worst form of TYPHUS, SCARLET, and other PEVERS, SMALL POX, MEASLES, and ERUPTIVE or SKI-. COMPLAINTS, and various other altered conditions of the Blood. The Testimony of Medical Gentlemen and the Professional Prer.s has been unqualified in praise of LAMPLOUGH'S PYRETIC SALINE as possessing most important elements calculated to restore and maintain Heslth. with perfect Vigour of Body and Mind. Itis effervescing and Tasteless, and forms a most invigorating, vitalizing, aud refreshing*beverage.

SB. MORGAN. — " It furnishes the blood with its lost saline constr.utents." DR. TURLEY. — "I found it act as a specific, in my experience and family, in the worst forms of Scarlet Fever, no other medicine being required." DR. S. GIBBON (formerly Physician to the London Hospital). — " Its usefulness in tb. treatment •se has long been confirmed by medical experience. I have been in the habit of using it in private . for many years. In hot climates it is of special value." DR. SPARKS (Government Medical Inspector of Emigrants from the port of London) writes : — " I "eat pleasure in bearing my cordial testimony to its efficacy in the treatment of many of the ordinary and chronic forms of Gastric Complaints and ether forms of Febrile Dyspepsia." DR. J. W. &OWSINQ. — " I used it in the treatment of forty-two cases of Yellow Fever, and aa happy to state I never lost a single case."' DR. W. STEVENS. — "Since its introduction, the fatal West India Fevers are deprived of their jerrors."

DR. ALEX. MILNE — "In searching fo --unbination of Salines we alighted on that of Mr. Lardplough. Its utility as a remedy in fevers Kni as a sibling drink in diseases of children, such as Scarlet Fever, Measles, ate., has be_n testified to V;t_g members of the profession." " I prescribe it also to my patients frequently." — 19th May, 1680. HBR MAJESTY'S REPRESENTATIVE, THE GOVERNOR OP SIERRA LEONE, in a letter of requeet for an additional supply of the -Pyrtlic Saline, states : — " It is of great value, and I shall rejoice to hear it is in the hands of all Europeans visiting the tropics." In Patent Glass-Btoppered Bottles, 2s. 6d., 4s. 6d., 11s., and 21s. each, CONCENTRATED LIME JUICE SYRUP. I .0 fresh Fruit, as imported for the Hospitals ; a perfect luxury ; forms, with the addition of ■ Saline, a most delicious and invigorating beverage, particularly for Total Abstainers, the Delicate, ana Invalid ; of speoial Bervice in Scrofula, Fevers, and Rluiumatism, and a low or altered condition of the system.

Chapter I

" Oh, you must not talk about dying yet." " Lor bless ber dear heart, no !" interposed the nurse hastily depositing in her pocket a green glass bottle, the contents of which she had been tasting in a corner with evident satisfaction. " Lor bless her dear heart, when she has lived as long as I have, sir, and had thirteen children of her own, and all on 'em dead except two, and th^rn in the wurkus with me, she'll know better than to take on in that way, bless her dear heart ! Think what it is to be a mother, there's a dear yonng lamb, do." Apparently this consolatory perspective of a mother's prospects failed in producing its due effect. The patient shook her head, and stretched out her hand towards th ■ child. The surgeon deposited it in her arms. She imprinted her cold white lips passionately on its forehead, pass d her hands over her face, gazed wildly round, shuddered, fell back— and died.

They chafed her breast, hands, and temples ; but the blood had frozen for ever. They talked of hope and comfort. They had been strangers too long. " It'.-- all orer, Mrs. Thingummy," said the surgeon, at last. TREATS OE THE PLACE WHERE OLIVER TWIST WAS BORN, AND OF THE CIRC U 31 STANCES ATTENDING HIS BIRTH. Among other public buildings in the town of Mudfog, it boasts of one which is common to most towns, great or small, to wit, a workhouse ; and in this workhouse there waa born on a day and date which I need not trouble myself to repeat, inasmuch as it can be of no possible consequence to the reader, in this stage of the business at all events, the item of mortality whose name is prefixed to the head 'of this chapter. Fora long time after he ushered into this world of sorrow and trouble, by thc [sh surgeon, it remained a matter of considerable it whether the child would survive to bear any name _ all ; in which case it is somewhat more thau probable that these memoirs would never have appeared, or, if they had, being comprised within a couple of pages, they would have possessed the inestimable merit of being the most concise and faithful specimen of biography extant in the literature of any age or country.

Although I am not disposed to maintain that the being bora in a workhouse is in itself the most fortunate and enviable circumce that can possibly befall a human being, I do mean to say that in this particular instance it was the best thing for Oliver Twist that could by possibility have occurred. The fact is, that there was considerable difficulty in inducing Oliver to take upon himself the office of respiration,— a troublesome practice, but one which custom has rendered necessary to our easy existence, — and for .ome time he lay gasping on a little fiock mattress, rather unequally poised between this world and the next, the balance being decidedly in favour of the latter. Now, if during this brief period Oliver had been surrounded by careful grandmothers, anxious aunts, exnerienced nurses, and doctors of profound wisdom, he would most inevitably and indubitably have been killed in no time.

There being nobody by, however, but a pauper old woman, who was red rather misty by an unwonted allowance of beer, rad a parish . lux-von who did such matters by contract, Obver and nature fought out the point between them. The result was, that, after a few struggles, Oliver breathed, sneezed, and proceeded to advertise to the inmates of the workhouse the fact of a new burden : imposed upon the parish, by setting up as loud aery as could reasonably have been expected from a male infant who had not been possessed of that very 1 appendage, a voice, for a much longer -pace of I ime than three minutes and a quarter. Oliver gave this first testimony of the free and proper actiou of his lungs, the patchwork coverlet, which irelessly flung over the iron bedstead, rustled ; the pale face of ■ raised feebly from the pillow ; and a faint voice imperfectly articulated the ■■ ! : the child, and die."

Thesurgeon had with his face turned tore, giving thc palms of his hands a warm, and ; but as the youug womau spoke, he Uancing to tho bed's head, said with more i might have been expected of him— " .'Ji, poor dear; so it is!" said the nurse, picking un the cork of the green bottle which had fallen ont on the pillow as she stooped to take up the child. " Poor deai- !" "You needn't mind sending up to me, if the child cries, nurse," said thc surgeon, putting ou his glov with great deliberation. "It's very likely it will be troublesome. Give it a little gruel if it is." He put ou his hat, and, pausing bythe bedside on his way to the door, added, ' She was a good-looking .girl too; where did she come from ?" " She was brought here last night," replied the old woman, " by the overseer's order. She was found lying in the street ; she had walked some distance, for her shoes were worn to pieces ; but where she camo from, or where she was going to, nobody knows."

The surgeon leant over the body, and raised the left hand. " 'the old-story," he said, shaking his head ; " no wedding ring, I see. Ah ! good night." The medical gentleman walked away to dinner ; and thc nurse, having once more applied herself to the green bottle, sat dowu on a low chair before the fire, aud pro ceeded to dress the infant. Aud what an excellent example of the power of dress youug Oliver Twist was ! Wrapped in the blanket which had hitherto formed his only covering, ho might have been the child of a nobleman or a beggar ; — it would have been hard for thc haughtiest stranger to have fixed ion in society. But now he was enveloped in the old calico robes, that had grown yellow in the same ser vice; he was badged and ticketed, and fell into his place at once— a parish child — thc orphan of a workhouse — thc humble, half-starved drudge— to be cuffed and buffeted through the world, despised by all, and pitied by none.

Oliver cried lustily. If he could, have known that he orphan, left to thc tender mercies of church wardens and overseers, perhaps he would have cried the louder. party of two other young gentlemen, who, after Parf£Ci" pating with him in a sound threshing, had been locteu up therein, for atrociously presuming to be hungry, wnen Mrs. Mann, the good larly of the house, was unexpectedly startled by the apparition of Mr. Bumble, the beadle, striving to undo the wicket of the garden-gate. _ "Goodness gracious! is that you, Mr. Bumble, sir F said Mrs. Mann, thrusting her head out of the window iu well-affected ecstacies of joy. " (Susan, take Oliver aud them two brats up-stairs, and wash em directly.)— My heart alive ! Mr. Bumble, how glad I am to see you, sure-ly !" Now Mr. Bumble was a fat man, and a choleric one; so, instead of responding to this open-hearted salutation in a kindred spirit, he gave the little wicket a tremendous shake, and then bestowed upon it a kick, which could have emanated from no leg but a beadle's. " Lor, only think," said Mrs. Mann, running out,— for the three boys had been removed by this time, — " only think of that !

That I should have forgotten that the gate was bolted on the inside, on account of them dear children ! Walk in, sir ; walk in, pray, Mr. Bumble ; do, sir."

Chapter II. Treats Of Oliver Twist's Growth, Education, And Board

For the next eight or ten months, Oliver was the victim of a systematic course of treachery and deception — he was brought up by hand. The hungry and destitute situation of the infant orphan was duly reported by the workhouse authorities to the parish authorities. The fiarish authorities inquired with dignity of the worklousc authorities, whether there was no female then domiciled in "the house" who was in a situation to im part to Oliver Twist the consolation and nourishment of which he stood in need. The workhouse authorities replied with humility that there was not. Upon this, the parish authorities magnanimously and humanely re; .solved, that Oliver should be "farmed," or, in other words, that he should be despatched to a branch work house some three miles off, where twenty or thirty other juvenile offenders against the poor-laws rolled about the floor all day, without the inconvenience of too much food, or too much clothing, under the parental superintendence of an elderly female who received the culprits at and for the consideration of sevenpence-half penuy per small head per week.

Sevenpence-halfpenny's worth per week is a good round diet for a child ; a great deal may be got for sevenpenee-halfpenny— quite enough to overload its stomach, and make it uncomfortable. The elderly female was a woman of wisdom aud experience ; she knew what was good for children, and she had a very accurate perception of what was good for herself. So, she appropriated the greater part of the weekly stipend to her own use, and consigned the rising parochial generation to even a shorter allowance thau was originally provided for them ; thereby finding in the lowest depth a deeper still, and proving herself a very great experimental philosopher. Everybody knows the story of another experimental philosopher, who had a great theory about a horse being able to live without eating, and who demonstrated it so well, that he got his own horse down to a straw a day, aud would most unquestionably have rendered him a very spirited and rampacious animal upon nothing at all, if he hadn't died, just four-and-twenty hours before he was to have had his first comfortable bait of air. 'Unfortunately for the experimental philosophy of the female to whose protecting care Oliver Twist was deli vered over, a similar result usually attended the opera tion of her system ; for just at the very moment when a child had contrived to exist upon the smallest possible Sortion of the weakest possible food, it did perversely appen in eight and a half cases out of ten, either that it sickened from want and cold, or fell into the sire from neglect, or got smothered by accident; in any -one of which cases the miserable little being was usually sum moned into another world, and there gathered to the fathers which it had never known in this.

Although this invitation was accompanied with a curtsey that might have softened the heart of a church warden, it by no means mollified the beadle. " Do you think this respectful or proper conduct, Mrs. Mann," inquired Mr. Bumble, grasping his cane, — "to keep the parish officers a-waiting at your garden-gate, when they come here upon porochial business connected with the porochial orphans ? Are you aware, Mrs. Mann, that you are, as I may say, a porochial delegate, and a stipendiary . ' ' "I'm sure, Mr. Bumble, that I was only a-telling one or two of the dear children as is so fond of you, that it was you a-coming," replied Mrs. Maun, with great humility. Mr. Bumble had a great idea of his oratorical powers aud his importance. He had displayed the one, and vindicated the other. He relaxed.

" Well, well, Mrs. Mann," he replied, in a calmer tone ; "it may be as you say; it may bc. Lead the way in, Mrs. Mann ; for I come on business, and have got some thing to say." Mrs. Mann ushered the beadle into a small parlour with a brick floor, placed a seat for him, and officiously deposited his cocked hat and cane ou the table before him. Mr. Bumble wiped from his forehead the perspira tion which his walk had engendered, glanced compla cently at the cocked hat, and smiled. Yes, he smiled; beadles are but men, and Mr. Bumble smiled. "Now don't you be offended at what I'm a-going to say," observed Mrs. Mann, with captivating sweetness. "You've had a long walk, you know, or I wouldn't mention it. Now will you take a little drop of some thing, Mr. Bumble ?" " Not a drop — not a drop," said Mr. Bumble, wavinc his right hand in a dignified, but still placid manner.

" I think you will," said Mrs. Maun, who had noticed the toue of the refusal, aud the gesture that had accom panied it. "Just a leetle drop, with a little cold water, and a lump of sugar." Mr. Bumble coughed. "Now, just a little drop," said Mrs. Mann, per suasively. Occasionally, when there was some more than usually interesting inquest upon a parish child who had been overlooked in turning up a bedstead, or inadvertently scalded to death when there happened to be a washing (though the latter accident was very scarce — anything approaching to a washing being of rare occurrence in the farm), the jury wonld take it into their heads to ask troublesome questions, or the parishioners would rebel liously affix their signatures to a remonstrance ; but these impertinences were speedily checked by the evidence of the surgeon, and the testimony of the beadle ; the former of whom had always opened the body, and found nothing inside {which was very probable indeed), and the latter of whom invariably swore whatever the parish wanted, which was very self-devotional.

Besides, the board made periodical pilgrimages to the farm, aud always sent thc beadle the day before to say they were coming. Tlie children were neat aud clean to behold, wheu they went , and what more would the people have . It cannot be expected that this system of farming would produce any very extraordinary or luxuriant crop. Oliver Twist's eighth birthday fouud him a pale, thin child, somewhat diminutive in stature, and decidedly .■-mall in circumference. Bnt nature or inheritanc ha I implanted a good sturdy spirit in Oliver's breast : it had bad plenty of room to expand, thauks to the spare dirt. of the establishment; and perhaps to this circumstance may be attributed his having any eighth birthday at all. )X this as it may, however, it was his eighth birthday ; and ho was keeping it in thc coal-cellar with a select " What is it f " inquired the beadle.

" Why, it's what I'm obliged to keep a little of in tho house, to put in the blessed infants' Daffy when they ain't well, Mr. Bumble," replied Mrs. Mann, as sh. i corner cupboard, and took down a bottle and glass. "It's gin." " Do you give the children Daffv, Mrs. Maun ?" in quired Bumble, following with h s "eyes the iaterektme process of mixing. "Ah, bless 'em, that I do, dear as it is," replied tho nurse. " I couldn't see 'em suffer before my very eves you know, sir." J J " No," said Mr. Bumble, approvingly ; " no, vouconll not. You are a humane woman, Mrs Maun" (Her down the glass.)— "I shall take au early oppor- ■i mentioning it to the board, Mrs Mann drew it towards him.)— "You feel as * mother Mrs Maun. —(He stirred the gin and water.)— "I I drill! your health with cheerfulness, Mrs. Mann-"— and hr swallowed half of it.

"And now about business/1 said the beadle taVin* put a leathern pocket-book. " The child that was' half. baptised, Oliver Twist, is eight years old to-day " him!" interposed Mrs. Mann, inflaming her 1 with the corner of her apron. "And notwithstanding an offered reward of ten pound, which was afterwards increased to twenty pound,—not withstanding the most superlative, and, I may say, superal exertions outhe part of this parish," said Bumble, havenever been able to discover who is his father, or what is his mother's settlement, name, or condi tiou." Mrs. Mann raised her bands in astonishment ; but 1. after a moment's reflection, " How comes he to any name at all, theu ?" The beadle drew himself up with groat pride, and said, " I inwented it." laugh or cry. He had no time to thiuk about the matter, however ; for Mr. Bumble gave him a tap on the head with his cane to wake him up, and another on the back to make him lively, and, bidding him follow, conducted him into a large whitewashed room, where eight or ten fat gentlemen were sitting round a table, at the top of which, seated in an arm-chair rather higher than tho rest, was a particularly fat gentlemau with a very round, red face.

"Bow to the board," said Bumble. Oliver brushed away two or three tears that were lingering in his eyes, and seeing no board bat the table, fortunately bowed to that. " What's your name, boy ?" said the gentleman in the high chair. Oliver was frightened at the sight of so many gentle men, which made him tremble ; and the beadle "-ave him another tap behind, which made him cry ; and 1 1 causes made him answer in a very low and hesitating vui_e ; whereupon a gentleman in a white waistcoat said he was a fool, which was a capital way of raising his spirits, and putting him quite at his ease. " Boy," said the gentleman in the high chair ; *' listen to me. You know you're an orphan, I suppose ?" " YvTiat's that, sir . " inquired poor Oliver. " The boy is a fool — I thought he was," said the gentleman in the white waistcoat, iu a very decided tone.

If one member of a class be blessed with an intuitive perception of others of the same race, the gentleman in the white waistcoat was unquestionably well qualified to pronounce an opinion on the matter. "Hush!" said the gentlemau who had spoken first. " You know you've got no father or mother, and that you are brought up by the parish, don't you . " " Yes, sir," replied Oliver, weeping bitterly. "What are you crying for?" inquired the gentleman in the white waistcoat ; aud to be sure it was very ex traordinary- What could he be crying for P "I hope you say your prayers every night," said an other gentleman in a gruff voice, " and pray for the people who feed you, and take care of you, like a Chris tian." " You, Mr. Bumble !" " I, Mrs. Mann. We name onr fonndlin's in alpha b'tieal order. The last was a S,— Swubble : I named him.

This was a T,— Twist : I named him. The next as comes will be Unwin, aud the next Vilkins. I have cot names ready made to the end of the alphabet, ail all pb ■ way through it again, when we come to Z." " Why, you're quite a literary character, sir !" said Mrs. Mann. " Well, well," said the beadle, evidently gratified with the compliment ; " perhaps I may be ; perhaps I maybe, .Mrs. Mann." He finished the gin and water, and added, "Oliver being now too old to remain here, the Board have determined to have him back into the house ; and I have come out myself to take him there, — so let me see him at once." " I'll fetch him directly," said Mrs. Mann, leaving the room for that purpose. And Oliver having by this time had as much of the outer coat of dirt which encrusted his face aud hands removed as could be scrubbed off in one washing, was led into the room by his benevolent pro tectress.

"Make a bow to the gentleman, Oliver," said Mrs. Mann. Oliver made a bow, which was divided between the h eil ■ on the chair and the cocked hat on the table. " Will you go along with me, Oliver '(" said Mr. Bumble in a majestic voice. Oliver was about to say that he would go along with anybody with great readiness, when, glancing upwards, he caught sight of Mrs. Mann, who had got behind the e's chair, and was shaking hor fist at him with a f nrious countenance. He took the hint at once, for the list had been too often impressed upon his body not to be deeply impressed upon his recollection. " Will she go with me P" inqnired poor Oliver. "No, she can't," replied Mr. Bumble; "but she'll come and see you, sometimes." This was no very great consolation to the child ; but, young as he was, he had sense enough to make a feint of t ling great regret at going away.

It was no very difficult matter for the boy to call the tears iuto his eyes. Hunger and recent ill-usage are great assistants if yon want to cry ; aud Oliver cried very naturally indeed. Mann* gave him a thousand embraces, and, what Oliver wanted a great deal more, a piece of bread and "untter, lest he should seem too hungry when he got to the workhouse. With the slice of bread in his hand, and the little brown-cloth parish cap upou his head, Oliver was then led away by Mr. Bumble from the wrenched home where one kind word or look had never lighted the gloom of his infant years. And yet he burst into au . of childish grief as the cottage-gate closed after him. Wretched as were the little companions in misery ue v as leaving behind, they were the only friends he had known; and a sense of his loneliness in the great wide world sank into the child's heart for the first time.

Mr. Bumble walked on with long strides; and little r firmly grasping his gold-laced cuff, trotted beside him, inquiring at the end of every quarter of a mile whether they were " nearly there," to which interrogations Mr. Bumble returned very brief and snappish for the temporarv blanduess which gin and water ■ us in some bosoms had by this time evaporated, and he was once again a beadle. . r had not been within the walls of the workhouse rter of an hour, and had scarcely completed the ition of a second slice of bread, when Mr Bumble, bad handed him over to the care of an old woman ned and, telling him tf was a board night, informed him that the board had said he was to appear before it a very clearly defined notion of what a Uve was rather astounded by this intel ligence and was not quite certain whether he ought to " Ye-, sir," stammered th? boy.

The gentleman who spoke last was unconsciously right. It would have been very like a Christian, and a marvellously good Christian, too, if Oliver had prayed for the people who fed aud took care of him. But he'hadu't, because nobody had taugh_ him. " Well, you have come here to be educated, and taught a useful trale," said the red-faced gentleman in the high chair. " So yon'l! begin to pick oakum to-morrow morniug at six o'clock," added the surly one iu the white waist coat. For the combination of both these blessings in the one simple process of picking oakum, Oliver bowed low by the direction of the beadle, and was then hurried away to a large ward, where, ou a rongh hard bed, he sobbed himself to sleep. What a noble illustration of the tender laws of this favoured country ! they let the paupers go to sleep !

Poor Oliver ! He little thought, as he lay sleeping in happy unconsciousness of all around him, that the board had that very day arrived at a decision which would exercise the most material influence over all his future fortunes. But they had. And this was it : — The members of this board were very sage, deep, phi losophical men ; and when they came to turn their atten tion to the workhouse, they found out at once, what ordinary folks would never have discovered, —the poor people liked it ! It was a regular place of public enter tainment for the poorer classes, — a tavern where there was nothin_r to pay,— a public breakfast, dinner, tea, and supper, all the year round,— a brick and mortar elysium where it was all play and no work. "Oho!" said the ■ iking very knowing ; " we are the fellows to set this to rights; we'll stop it all iu no time."

So they established the rule, that all poor people should have the alternative (for they would compel nobody, not they) of being starved by a gradual process in the house, or by a quick one out of it. With this view, they contracted with the water-works to lay on an unlimited supply of water, and with a corn-factor to supply periodically small quantities of oatmeal ; and issued t'_ree meals of thin gruel a-day, with au onion twice a weetc, and half a roll on Sundays. They made a great many other wise aud humane regulations having reference to the ladies, which it, is not necessary to repeat ; kindly undertook to divorce poor married people, in consequence of the great woman who wanted an apprentice to any trade, business, or calling. . ..„ „ " I never was more convinced of anything in my me, said the gentleman in the white waistcoat, as he knocked at the gate and read the bill next morning,— I never was more convinced of anything in my life, than I am that that boy will come to be hung."

As I propose to show in the sequel whether tbe white waistcoated gentleman was right or not, I should perhaps mar the interest of this narrative (supposing it to possess anv at all), if I ventured to hint just yet whether the life of Oliver Twist will be a long or a short piece of biography. expense of a suit iu Doctors* Commons ; and, instead of compelling a man to support his family as they had theretofore done, took his family away from him, and made him a bachelor ! There is no telling how many applicants for relief under these last two heads would not have started up in all classes of society, if it had not been coupled with the workhouse. But they were long- Leaded men, and they had provided for this difficulty. Tne relief was inseparable from the workhouse and the gruel ; and that frightened people.

For the first three months after Oliver Twist was renioved,* the system was in full operation. It was rather expensive at first, in consequence of the increase in the undertaker's bill, and the necessity of taking in the clothes of all the paupers, which fluttered loosely on thi ir wasted, shrunken forms after a week or two's gruel. But the number of workhouse inmates got thin, as well as the paupers ; and the board were in ecstasies. The room in which the boys were fed was a large, stone hall, with a copper at one end, out of wdiich the master, dressed in an apron for the purpose, aud assisted by one or two women, ladled the gruel at meal-times ; of which composition each boy had one porringer, and no more, — except on festive occasions, and then he had two ounces and a quarter of bread besides.